第一集：牺牲、工作与生活的平衡及人生意义

事情是这样的。

So here's the thing.

几年前，我还是个身无分文的大学辍学生，独自生活在国内最糟糕的社区，除了一台笔记本电脑和一个梦想外一无所有。

A few years ago, I was a broke university dropout living in one of the worst parts of the country alone with nothing but a laptop and a dream.

转眼几年后，我成为了25岁的CEO，执掌英国发展最快、最具活力的公司之一，这家公司名叫Social Chain。

Fast forward a few years, I'm the 25 year old CEO of one of The UK's fastest growing companies and most exciting, and that company is called Social Chain.

我的世界充满张力，有时疯狂，总是充满挑战且不可预测。

My world is intense, sometimes crazy, always challenging, and always unpredictable.

这个播客很简单。

This podcast is simple.

每周日，我都会与你分享我的私人日记，让你深入了解企业家幕后生活的真实面貌，那些无人敢分享的幽暗思绪，以及所有萦绕在我心头的想法。

Every Sunday, I'm gonna share my personal diary with you, and I wanna give you an insight into what it's like behind the scenes being an entrepreneur, the deep dark thoughts that nobody else will share with you, and anything else that's playing on my mind.

这不是剧本。

This is not scripted.

这些是我即兴而谈的，直接摘自我的日记。

This is off the top of my head, and this is direct from my diary.

这是一位CEO的日记。

This is the diary of a CEO.

我是史蒂文·巴特勒。

I'm Steven Butler.

希望没人在听。

I hope nobody is listening.

但如果你正在听，请务必保密。

But if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

好的。

Okay.

因为这是第一章，我认为最合理的开场方式就是提出这个问题。

Because this is chapter one, I thought the most sensible place to start was with the question.

成为CEO需要什么条件，做CEO或企业家是怎样的体验？

What does it take to be a CEO, and what is it like being a CEO or an entrepreneur?

而在流行文化中，这一形象被过度美化了。

And in popular culture, it's been incredibly glamorized.

一部又一部电影描绘着CEO的困境——起初异常艰难，但最终必定成功，获得财富、派对和幸福结局。

There's been movie upon movie upon movie which illustrate the plight of a CEO of being, I guess, initially quite tough, but then guaranteed success, riches, partying, and happy endings.

这从根本上就是错误的。

And that's fundamentally incorrect.

我看到这种企业家形象确实误导了很多人，也让许多准备不足、认识不清的人踏上了创业之路。

And I I see this, image of what it's like to be an entrepreneur really guiding a lot of people astray, but also leading a lot of people that aren't equipped and aren't fully aware into the lifestyle of being an entrepreneur.

我想做这期播客的主要原因，就是回答这些问题并澄清关于创业条件的误解。

I think much of the reason why I wanna do this, this podcast is to answer some of the the questions and to debunk some of the misconceptions about what it takes.

我认为想要成为企业家或CEO，首先要做好巨大牺牲的准备。

I think the first thing that that you have to be prepared for if you wanna be an entrepreneur or a CEO is immense sacrifice.

我说的牺牲不是指放弃周末或错过足球比赛。

And when I say sacrifice, I don't mean giving up your weekends or not watching that football match.

而是指彻底改变人生轨迹。

I mean transforming your life fundamentally and sending it in a different direction.

是长达五年的不确定性、痛苦、极度孤独，失去那些你真正在乎的关系，也无法建立新的联结。

I mean, five years of uncertainty, pain, immense loneliness, losing relationships with people that he really, really cared about, not being able to form new relationships.

即便建立了新关系，最终也会失去，因为你完全沉浸在自己的世界里。

And when you do, losing those relationships too because you're just too consumed and you're living your whole life in your head.

我说的还包括经济上的牺牲。

I mean financial sacrifices.

是所有你能想象到的牺牲类型。

I mean every type of sacrifice imaginable.

这些都是我经历过的牺牲，其中许多至今仍在承受，以履行CEO的职责。

And those are the sacrifices that I went through, and many of those sacrifices I continue to go through in order to fulfill my duties of being a CEO.

随着公司发展壮大，团队人数达到数百人时，我为之牺牲的初衷已然改变。

And as the company grew and we got to the point where we we have hundreds of people in the teams, my my reason for that sacrifice has changed.

如今我对数百人的生计负有个人责任，这促使我做出更多牺牲，但比以往任何时候都更心甘情愿。

I now feel personally responsible for hundreds of people's lives, and that makes me sacrifice more, but sacrifice much easier than I ever did before.

成为企业家意味着巨大的牺牲。

Being an entrepreneur involves immense sacrifice.

我认为在创业初期，你实际上是在说：我愿意放弃现有的一切，只为成为理想中的自己。

I think in the initial stages, you really are saying, I'm willing to give up everything that I am right now in order for this thing that I want to be.

而我认为最关键的问题是：你究竟有多渴望成为那个人？

And I think that is the most important question to ask yourself is how bad do you want to be that person?

你有多渴望那种生活？

How bad do you want that life?

你有多渴望成为企业家或CEO？

And how bad do you wanna be an entrepreneur or a CEO?

因为你必须比珍惜现有的一切更渴望它。

Because, you've gotta you've gotta want it more than you want everything you have right now.

因为在接下来的一两年、甚至三年创业征程中，你可能需要彻底重塑自我才能达成目标。

Because for the next year, two years, three years, as you embark on your journey, you're probably gonna have to sacrifice everything you are to become that thing.

而我确实这么做了。

And I did.

我牺牲了原本作为社交达人的快乐青年生活，180度转向搬到曼彻斯特最差的社区，身无分文地奋斗。

I I sacrificed being a very sociable young man that was having fun, to going in the complete opposite direction, living in the worst, in my opinion, the worst area in Manchester, with absolutely no money.

很多个周末，我会尽可能衣着体面地出门，只为寻找别人丢弃的食物，这经常意味着要去外卖店碰运气。

And many weekends, I would leave my house dressed as smart as I possibly could dress in the search for some food left somewhere by somebody, and that often meant going in takeaways.

在人生最低谷时，我甚至不得不去商店偷拿没付钱的披萨——这就是我渴望成功的程度。

At one point, at my very lowest, it meant going into shops and taking pizzas that I hadn't paid for, And that's how bad I wanted it.

而在那些时刻，我对牺牲所能换取的回报，依然保持着无比清晰的信念。

And in those moments, I had a very, very clear belief as well of the the reward of my sacrifice.

我完全相信这会有所回报。

I completely believed it was gonna pay off.

这让我联想到另一点，我认为要做出牺牲，你必须先有信念。

And that kind of links me to another point, I guess, which is in order to sacrifice, you have to believe.

而我，始终百分百地相信，我认为你也必须如此。

And I, 100 always believed, and I think you have to.

接下来随着公司发展，你必须习惯不可预测的混乱。

The next thing is as as you grow your company, you have to get used to the unpredictable chaos.

不可预测性会让任何创业者感到焦虑，因为你每天醒来都不知道会收到什么邮件。

And unpredictability can be, a great cause of anxiousness for any entrepreneur because you wake up every day and you have no idea what email you're gonna get.

你可能会收到一封邮件——在我的创业历程中，这种情况发生过无数次——一封让我觉得一切都结束了的邮件。

And you could get an email, and I did many, many, many, many, many times in my journey, get an email that would make me believe that it was all over.

当你收到那种邮件时，你必须具备某种特质才能继续坚持正确的方向。

And when you get that email, you have to be built of a certain type of, material, to keep going in the right direction.

我记得很多次，尤其在我18岁时，银行发邮件告诉我他们不允许我开立企业账户。

I remember many, many instances, especially when I was 18 years old, where the bank emailed me and told me that they would not let me open a business bank account.

于是我去了另一家银行，他们同样拒绝为我开设企业账户。

And so I went to another bank and they told me that I would not be able to open a business bank account.

我又去了第三家银行，在接连被三四家银行拒绝后，我真心认为以我糟糕的信用评分，这辈子都不可能创业了。

And I went to another bank and they told me that I would not and after going to three or four banks, I genuinely believe because my credit rating was so poor, I would never be able to start a business.

这在创业初期只是件小事。

And that was a small thing in the early days.

两年后公司发展顺利时，

And then advanced two years, the company's going well.

我们已有50名员工，却突然收到投资人邮件说'史蒂夫，你发错邮件了吧'。

We've got 50 members of staff, and you get, an email from your investor saying that, I don't think you meant to send me that email, Steve.

我当时心想：这特么什么情况？

And I think, what the hell is that?

那是早上6点。

That's at 6AM in the morning.

然后我又收到另一个客户的邮件，问我是否故意发那封邮件给他。

And then I get another email from another one of our clients saying, did you mean to send me that email?

结果发现，你所有的客户和投资人都收到了一封恶意满满、针对性极强的辱骂邮件，而且是从你商业伙伴Dom的邮箱地址发出去的。

And what happened was every single client you have and every investor you have has been sent a malicious, very, very tailored, abusive email to them personally from your business partner Dom's email address.

那一刻，你不仅怀疑自己是否失去了投资人，更担心会失去过去两三年辛苦建立的所有客户关系。

And in that moment, not only do you question whether you've lost your investors, but you question whether you've lost every client you spot spent the last two to three years building up.

那种时刻，你必须具备某种特殊的心理素质。

In that moment, you've gotta have you gotta be made of a certain type of material.

在公司发展初期，第一年遇到财务危机时，我们真的有过不确定如何支付账单的时刻。

And then even further on in the company, you know, in the first year when we had some financial uncertainty, there were moments where we genuinely weren't sure how we were gonna pay the bills.

而发薪日又即将到来。

And you've got payday coming up.

你知道的，各种账单接踵而至。

You've got, you know, bills approaching.

更让人焦虑的是，你完全不知道五天后要从哪里筹措六位数的资金来支付账单和工资。

And there's total uncertainty around how in five days time you're gonna find 6 figures to pay your bills and to pay your wages.

这种不确定性和焦虑会跟着你回家。

And that uncertainty and the anxiousness is something you take home.

它会在周末如影随形，泡澡时、淋浴时、上下班路上、深夜1点都挥之不去，你必须学会与之共存。

It stays with you on the weekend, stays with you in the bathtub, in the shower, on the way to work, on the way home at night, 1AM in the morning, and you have to live with that.

当女友问你'这周末想做什么'时，这些念头依然盘踞在你脑海。

It stays in your head when your girlfriend turns to you and she says, what do wanna do this weekend?

你根本无心安排周末，因为你的思绪完全被问题占据，而其中很多问题你甚至无法向他人倾诉。

You don't wanna do anything this weekend because your mind is consumed with the issues, and many of these issues are things that you can't tell anybody else.

这种永不停歇、全年无休的不确定性和焦虑感，是每个创业者、CEO必须学会承受的。

And, that uncertainty, that continual twenty four seven, seven days a week, thirty six three six five days a year, anxiousness is something that entrepreneurs, CEOs, have to learn to live with.

正因如此，我将其称为在混乱中培养内心的平静。

And that's why I've I've referred to it as developing your own calm within the chaos.

你无法预知那些糟心事。

You cannot predict the bullshit.

但你能预知的那些事，其实都是无关紧要的。

What but what you can predict is bullshit.

第二点，我刚才略有提及——你终其一生都活在自己的脑海里，那是个非常、非常、非常孤独的地方。

And the second thing, I touched on a little bit there on that point, would be you spend your whole life living in your own head, and it's a very, very, very lonely place.

由于种种问题——其中许多你无法向任何人倾诉，有时甚至不能与商业伙伴讨论——你终其一生都深陷于自我世界中。

Because of the issues, and many of them you can't speak to anybody about, sometimes you can't even speak to your business partner about those issues, you spend your whole life living very, very deep within yourself.

记得有次女友对我说：虽然你就坐在我身边，我却感觉无比孤独。

And often, I remember my girlfriend turned to me one day and she said, even though you're right next to me, I feel completely alone.

我认为这完美概括了你未来数年——或许整个CEO生涯中——会让他人产生的感受。

And I think that perfectly summarizes how you'll make people feel probably for the next few years of your life, or potentially all of your life as a CEO.

至今我仍未能学会如何在恋人、家人或任何人身边真正放松。

And I've not managed yet to figure out how I switch off, around romantic partners, around family, around anybody at all.

这是我持续修炼的课题，但显然尚未找到答案。

And it's something that I'm continuing to work on, but I've certainly not figured that out yet.

最后，与上述不可预测性相关的是——作为CEO，你永恒的首要难题永远是人。

And lastly, linked to the unpredictability and all these other things I've mentioned above, as a CEO, your number one issue at all times is people.

真的，这是唯一让你寝食难安、源源不断制造麻烦的根源。

Really, that's the only thing you you agonize over and you you are continually provided problems by.

随着公司规模突破百人并持续扩张，你需要应对的人员数量及其引发的问题也呈指数级增长。

And as our company grew and hit, you know, the 100 mark and then went on and got bigger and bigger, the the amount of people and the amount of people problems you have to deal with also scaled in in relation to that.

比如你永远无法预知哪位员工的恋人会突然提出分手。

And so one thing you cannot predict is someone in your business's boyfriend or girlfriend dumping them.

你无法预判他们何时会出现心理问题，遭遇意外伤害，经历家庭重大变故，或是痛失所爱之人。

You can't predict them going through mental health issues, or you can't predict them, being injured or, you know, going through serious issues at home or losing a loved one.

这些都是你无法预料的。

These are things you cannot predict.

但作为一个CEO，一个负责任的CEO，这些正是你应该也必须关心的事情。

But these are things that as a CEO, as a responsible CEO, you should and have to care about.

实际情况是，你不仅要处理自己的问题、生活中的员工问题、人际关系问题，还有家庭问题。

And what happens is not only do you have your own problems, your own people problems in your own life, your own relationship issues, your own family issues.

像我这样真正发自内心在乎的CEO，你会继承企业中每个人的问题、挑战和个人困境。

For a CEO like myself that really, really cares, really genuinely cares, you inherit the the issues and the the the challenges and the personal problems of everybody in your business.

而这本身也是一种挑战。

And that is is a challenge as well.

这是我自愿承担的挑战，因为我在乎。

And it's it's a challenge that I volunteered to take on because I do care.

但在年轻时处理这些事情确实很有挑战性，幸运的是我几乎挺过来了。

But it's something that, at a young age is a challenge to deal with, and it's fortunately something that I've I've almost survived it.

当公司从1人发展到20人时，既要处理20个人的私事又要处理工作问题，确实很有挑战性。

As the company scaled from one to 20, dealing with 20 people's personal issues, but then also work issues, was challenging.

随着问题增多，我逐渐形成了在混乱中保持镇定的思维方式，这让我能在公司快速扩张的情况下依然能处理好人员问题。

As it got increased, then I developed this thinking about my own calm within the chaos, and that allowed me to deal with people problems despite the fact that, it was scaling at a rapid rate.

本周日记的第二点是关于工作与生活的平衡。

Point number two in my diary this week is about work life balance.

我在YouTube频道评论区和其他平台包括Instagram上看到，有人担心我提倡忽视工作与生活的平衡。

And something I've seen in the comment section on my YouTube channel and in other places and on my Instagram is people being concerned that I promote a lack of work life balance.

我想对此明确表态，因为这个问题我已经思考很久了。

And I wanted to be explicitly clear about this thing because it's because it's something I've been thinking about for a while.

我并没有提倡忽视工作与生活的平衡。

I I do not promote work a lack of work life balance.

这只是我的个人现实情况。

It's simply just my reality.

我通过我的视频博客、Instagram以及所有发布的内容，竭尽全力记录并呈现最真实的自我。

And what I do with my vlogs and with my Instagram and with everything that I put out is I'm documenting and doing my very, very best to give you my truth.

而我的真实情况是，我每周工作七天，几乎醒着的每一刻都在工作。

And my truth is that I work seven days a week, virtually every waking hour in those seven days.

我从不关机。

I don't switch off.

但重要的是要明白，在我看来，那些跟我谈论工作生活平衡的人并不理解我与工作的关系。

But it's important to know that in my mind, people who come to me with the work life balance argument don't understand my relationship with work.

他们用传统的工作定义来框定我。

They are using the traditional construct of what work is and sort of painting me with that brush.

但对我来说，我的工作完全不同。

But to me, my work is totally different.

我热爱我的工作。

I love my work.

工作就是我的爱好。

My work is my hobby.

工作是我放松的地方。

Work is where I go to relax.

当你如此热爱工作时，周六坐在家里打游戏都会想着：天啊，我等不及要去工作了。

And when you love your work so much, when you're sat at home playing video games and on a Saturday and thinking, god, I can't wait to get to work.

这根本不是工作。

It's not work.

这就是生活。

It's life.

对吧？

Right?

这是我的乐趣所在。

It's it's my fun.

想象一下我走向你，而你正在做自己热爱的事情，然后我说：天啊，你真的应该多做些你热爱的事。

So imagine me going to you and and you're doing something you love doing and me saying, Christ, you really need to do more of stuff you love doing.

我就坐在那里想，你根本不明白。

So I'm sat there thinking, you just don't understand.

你不理解我与这件事的关系。

You don't understand my relationship with this thing.

这不是工作与生活的平衡。

It's not work life balance.

这是生活与生活的平衡。

It's life life balance.

我真心相信，我不仅热爱我的工作，也相信努力工作的价值。

And I genuinely believe, not only do I love my work, but I also believe in hard work.

我相信那些登上高位、在自己想做的事情上取得成功的人——无论是运动员、体操选手、企业家、厨师还是钢琴家——他们都付出了艰苦努力。

I believe that people who get to high places and are successful in what they wanna do, whether it's an athlete, a gymnast, an entrepreneur, a chef, a pianist, they put in hard work.

我不知道有哪个案例研究显示，有人能不努力就取得巨大成功。

I don't know a case study of someone not of someone being wildly successful that didn't work hard.

我相信努力工作的力量。

I believe in hard work.

当我热爱某件事时，我愿意为之付出。

And when I love something, I'm willing to give it.

我愿意为此付出每天醒着的每一刻。

And I'm willing to give it every waking hour of the day.

不幸的是，作为一个几乎没有责任、几乎没有感情牵绊的单身男性，我可以工作每一个小时。

Unfortunately, because I'm a single male that has virtually no commitments, that has very little sort of attachments in in sort of, like, romantic relationships, I'm able to work every working hour.

最后，我日记里的最后一点是关于感情、爱情和友谊的。

And finally, the last point in my diary is about relationships, love, and friendships.

好的。

Okay.

那么从人际关系开始讲起，我会先谈谈家庭关系和友谊，然后再讨论我对恋爱关系的看法。

So starting with relationships generally, and I'll talk about family relationships and friendships, and then I'll get into the thoughts I've been having on romantic relationships.

首先，我与家人的关系相当疏远。

First and foremost, my relationship with my family is fairly distant.

除了直系亲属外，我谁都不认识。

I don't know anybody outside of my immediate family.

所以我连表亲是谁都不知道。

So I don't know who my cousins are.

我也不认识我的祖母或祖父母。

I don't know who my grandmother or grandparents are.

我知道其中一些人已经去世，但不确定是否全都过世了。

I know some of them have passed away, but I don't know if they all have.

我从未真正见过他们，就算他们在街上与我擦肩而过我也认不出来。

I've not really met them, and I wouldn't know them if they walked past me in the street.

这就是我们家的相处方式。

It's just the way that my family were.

我父母与他们自己的家人几乎没有任何联系，所以我也不认识那些亲戚。

My my mom and my dad never really had a connection with their family, so I don't know their family.

我只认识直系亲属，包括两个哥哥、一个姐姐，还有我的父母。

I only know my immediate family, which is two older brothers and one older sister, and my mom and my dad.

补充说明一下，我父母在成长过程中关系非常糟糕。

And for context, my mom and my dad, growing up, had a terrible relationship.

他们至今还在一起，但整天互相吼叫。

They're still together, but they screamed at each other.

准确地说，是我母亲每天都要对着父亲连续吼叫好几个小时，这就是我对家庭的全部认知。

Well, my mom screamed at my dad for hours and hours every day, and that's all I knew.

因此在成长过程中，看着父亲坐在那里被母亲吼叫的场景，使我对婚姻关系的看法变得极其负面。

And so growing up, my idea of a relationship when looking at my dad sitting there being screamed at by my mother was very, very negative.

事实上，直到21岁、22岁，准确说是22岁时，我才第一次拥有类似恋爱的关系。

So it wasn't until I was 21 years old, 22 years old, 22 years old in fact, that I even had anything that resembled a relationship.

我坚信，尽管我从未维系好任何关系——无论是爱情、友情还是亲情——但我始终认为人际关系确实至关重要。

It's my belief that although I've not had relationships and I'm really not good keeping relationships, whether they're romantic or friends or family, it's my belief that relationships really do matter.

前几天晚上我听了一场TED演讲，主题是关于什么让我们感到幸福。

And I was listening to a TED talk the other night, and it was talking about what makes us happy.

这项研究持续了75年，追踪了数千名男性，包括富人和穷人，每年对他们进行研究直到生命终结。

And it's this study conducted over seventy five years on thousands of men, rich men, poor men, and they studied them every year basically until they died.

他们发现，贯穿人生的最重要因素——对健康、幸福等一切方面而言——就是人际关系。

And what they found out over the course of a lifetime was that the single most important thing the single most important thing to health and happiness and all of the above was relationships.

而且重要的不是随便的关系或数量，而是人际关系的质量。

And not just any relationships or the quantity of your relationships, but really the quality of your relationships.

仅通过观察健康状况，他们就能清晰区分拥有高质量人际关系和没有的人群。

And they can make a clear distinction between those that had good quality relationships and those that didn't by looking just at their health.

这让我陷入了深深的思考。

And it made me really, really think.

看完那场演讲后，我彻底重塑并重新审视了自己对人际关系的认知。

And when I watched that talk, it really made me reimagine and rethink my perceived or my opinion of relationships.

我想我一直认为：知道吗史蒂夫？

I think I've always thought, you know what, Steve?

你一个人就很好。

You're good on your own.

你不需要任何人。

You don't need anybody else.

你不需要朋友。

You don't need friends.

你不需要女朋友。

You don't need girlfriends.

你其实并不需要家庭。

You don't really need family.

但我后来意识到我需要。

But I've come to learn that I do.

现在我更加主动地与家人保持联系，同时也努力与朋友建立更亲密的关系。

And I've made a much more active effort to stay connected with my family, but also to try and build a little bit of a close relationship to my friends.

这是我正在努力的方向。

And this is something I'm working on.

我过着非常、非常、非常独居的生活。

I live a very, very, very solo life.

正如我所说，我的世界存在于脑海中，大部分时间我都是独自度过的。

I'm a I as I said, the world has lived in my head, but I spend most of my time alone.

一直如此，而且我也乐在其中。

I always have, and I've always been happy to do so.

在感情方面，由于父母给我展示的婚姻模式太过负面，我一直都在逃避承诺。

And on the romantic front, one thing I've always done, because my parents showed me a model of relationships that was so negative, is I've always ran from commitment.

从12岁起，只要有女孩对我表示好感，无论我是否喜欢她，我都会选择逃避。

At any point when any girl dating back to when I was 12 years old showed any interest in me, irrespective of whether I liked her or not, I would run.

我会找各种借口解释为什么我们不能在一起。

I would make excuses as to why me and this girl couldn't be together.

我会盯着她的缺点看。

I would look at the bad parts of her.

我会试图找出问题。

I would try and find holes.

我会找任何理由逃离。

I would find any excuse to get out of there.

我这辈子都是这样做的。

And I did that my whole life.

我12岁时就做过这件事。

I did it when I was 12.

我16岁时也做过。

I did it when I was 16.

18岁时我又做了一次。

I did it when I was 18.

21岁那年我又做了。

I did it when I was 21.

22岁时做过，就在我上一段感情里。

I did it when I was 22, and I did it in my last relationship.

这是我正在拼命努力改进的事。

And it's something I'm trying incredibly hard to work on.

虽然表现不算最佳男友，但我确实成功建立过一段关系。

But I did manage to form a relationship, although it wasn't, the best performance as a boyfriend.

23岁时，我和我的私人助理建立了第一段恋爱关系。

I formed my first relationship when I was 23 years old with my PA.

她是我刚创业时雇的女孩，工作一年后我们发展成了恋人。

Now this was a girl I hired when I first started the company, and then a year into her employment, we got romantically involved.

说来话长，但她确实是我的初恋女友。

It's a fairly long story, but she was the first girlfriend I've ever had.

我想我们能在一起，很大程度上是因为她完全理解我的世界。

And I think much of the reason why we came together was because she completely understood my world.

作为我的私人助理，她能查看我所有的收件箱。

Being my PA, she gets to see all my inboxes.

她非常非常了解我，我觉得这是我们能维持这么久的主要原因。

She really knows me very, very well, and I feel like that's much of the reason we lasted for so long.

但她也让我明白，这件事是有可能的。

But, she also told taught me that it was possible.

我竟然能拥有一段感情，这是我从未想过可能的事。

Was possible for me to have a relationship, something I never I never thought was possible.

她还教会我，感情能让你更快乐。

And she also taught me that it could make you happier.

它能让你成为更好的人。

It could make you a better person.

它能让你不再孤独，我想它或许能成为你最要好的朋友。

It could make you less lonely, and it could be a a best friend, I guess.

因此，过去几年里我对感情的认知彻底改变了。

And so my my perspective on relationships has changed in the last, in the last couple of years.

遗憾的是，那段感情最终无疾而终。

And unfortunately, that relationship didn't work out.

失败的原因主要在我，因为我既学不会妥协，也不愿妥协。

It didn't work out really because of me, because I wasn't able to learn compromise or I didn't wanna compromise.

具体症结我说不清，但这段感情的失败源于我——在我看来——缺乏妥协和付出的能力。

I'm not quite sure what it is, but it didn't work out because of my inability, in my opinion, to compromise and to give more.

那时的我极其、极其、极其自私。

I was very, very, very selfish.

说真的，我实在不明白，当我在精神和时间上都如此倾注于事业时，怎么可能经营好一段稳固的感情关系。

And I really, you know, I really don't understand how I'll ever really be able to have a good solid strong relationship when I commit as much as I do to my my professional life mentally and, in terms of time.

这也让我开始反思：我究竟想从伴侣身上获得什么？

So it's also made me question and ask myself, what is it I'm looking for in a romantic partner?

对方必须具备哪些特质？

What has a person got to be?

什么样的人才能与我这样的创业者或CEO建立和谐的关系？

Who have they got to be in order for them to have a harmonious relationship with an entrepreneur or a CEO like myself?

我认为有几个关键点。

And I think there's a few things.

我上一段恋情是和我的私人助理。

So my last relationship was with my PA.

她和我非常、非常亲密。

She was super, super close to me.

我每天工作时都能见到她，她完全理解我。

I saw her every day in work, and she completely understood.

这段关系在很多方面确实可行。

And it, in many respects, did work.

确实可行。

It did work.

所以某种程度上，我觉得自己是在寻找一个完全理解我世界的人。

And so part of me thinks that I'm looking for somebody that completely understands my world.

于是我开始思考，他们需要为我工作吗？

And so I started thinking, do they need to work for me?

他们会成为私人助理吗？

Do they are they gonna be a PA?

他们自己会是创业者吗？

Are they gonna be an entrepreneur themselves?

我真的不知道答案。

And I don't really know the answer.

目前，我在和一个基本住在地球另一端的人交往，她有自己的事业。

Right now, I'm I'm seeing somebody that lives on the opposite side of the world, basically, And she's got her own thing going on.

她从事演艺和模特等工作。

She's acting, she's modeling, etcetera.

这在很多方面都行得通，因为能让我在这边办公室时专注工作。

And that's worked out in many respects because it allows me time to focus when I'm here and I'm in the office.

而以前和助理恋爱时，我常无法专注——如果家里吵架了，那种情绪难免会带到工作中，当她在办公室和我碰面时，我满脑子想的都是那些事而不是工作。

And often when I was taking my PA, I couldn't focus because if we were had an argument at home, obviously that comes into work in some regard and she's meeting with me around the office, etcetera, then I'm thinking about that as opposed to thinking about my work.

现在有个人在地球的另一端，当我在本地时我专注工作，和他们在一起时我就专注陪伴他们。

So now having somebody that's on the opposite side of the world, when I'm here, I'm focused and when I'm with them, I'm focused on them.

我正在尝试这种模式，效果还不错，但我在想这种状态能维持多久？毕竟人总会渴望更亲密的距离。

So I'm trying that out and it's going fairly well, but I do think, you know, how long can that be sustained for before you want that person a little bit closer?

这确实是个难题。

So it's a tough one.

我真的不知道自己想要什么。

I really don't know what I'm looking for.

我不知道自己该追求什么。

I don't know what I should be looking for.

以我现在的处境，我认为创业者应该和那些非常忙碌、专注自我，但又能稍微理解你世界的人交往。

The point I'm at now, I think entrepreneurs should date people that are incredibly busy and focused on themselves, but also understand your world a little bit.

我觉得这是最健康平衡的状态。

I think that's the healthiest balance.

反方观点认为，应该找个完全不懂你世界的人，这样回家后他们能帮你彻底脱离工作状态。

The counterargument says, find somebody who does not understand your world, is totally separate, and doesn't get it because then when you go home, they help you switch off.

他们根本不懂。

They don't get it.

他们也不想讨论这些。

They don't wanna talk about it.

这样你回到家时，就能把工作彻底关在门外。

So when you go home, you leave work at the doormat.

我不知道。

I don't know.

我真的不知道。

I really don't know.

这是我正在经历的探索旅程，我会随时向大家更新最新进展。

It's a journey I'm on at the moment, and I'm gonna keep you guys updated as to as to what happens there.

最后，我想与大家分享的最后一点是关于人生目标的概念。

And lastly, the last point I wanted to share with you is the idea of purpose.

过去几年发生的一些事让我真正开始质疑并试图寻找自己的人生目标。

So there's a few things that have happened to me over the last couple of years which have really made me question and try and find my my purpose.

这是因为18岁时，我一无所有，住在曼彻斯特一个非常贫困的地区，那时我想成功的唯一原因就是渴望金钱。

And this is because at the age of 18, when I had nothing and I was living in a very, poor area in Manchester, my idea of why I wanted to be successful was because I wanted money.

我的大部分动机都源于金钱。

Much of my reason was money.

当我回顾18岁时在日记里写的内容，其中两点就是关于拥有豪车和巨额财富。

When I reflect on the things I wrote in my diary at 18 years old, two of the points related to having a nice car and having loads of money.

而现在25岁的史蒂夫与18岁的史蒂夫产生了价值观冲突。

And now we've got the 25 year old Steve perspective clashing with 18 year old Steve.

正是在这个时刻，我看到了两个自我及其动机的激烈碰撞。

And this is the moment where I saw that those two characters and those two motives and agendas clash.

当有人提出收购我的公司并报出价格的那一刻。

It was the minute someone offered to buy my business, and they told us what figure they would pay for the company.

随后我花了数日乃至数周时间反思，经历了几次顿悟，真正剖析了我们当下想要的是什么。

And for a moment, I went into a few days and a few weeks of reflection and thinking and had a few personal epiphanies, and I really sort of analyzed in that moment what we wanted to do.

虽然我很快得出了结论和答复，但当你突然听到有人说'我现在就给你数千万英镑'时——

It didn't take a long period of time for me to arrive at my conclusion or my answer to them, but just being put in the moment where someone says to you, I will give you millions and millions and millions and millions of pounds right now.

这会让你开始思考什么才是真正重要的。

It makes you wonder and think about what's really important.

那一刻，18岁的史蒂夫突然出现，他说：太棒了。

And in that moment, 18 year old Steve showed up, and he said, amazing.

我们要买你一直渴望的兰博基尼，还要买那栋你18岁住在曼彻斯特莫斯西德时每周都盯着看的大豪宅。

We're gonna buy that Lamborghini you always wanted to buy, and we're gonna buy that huge mansion that you kept looking at every week when we were 18 years old living in Mossside in Manchester.

这就是我们要做的。

That's what we're gonna do.

然后25岁的史蒂夫出现在同一个派对上，他说：你为什么要买兰博基尼？

And then 25 year old Steve showed up to that same party, and he said, why do you want a Lamborghini?

你可能不会经常开它。

You probably won't drive it that much.

你把所有时间都花在旅行上。

You spend all your time traveling.

你现在这辆车就挺好的。

You like your car you have now.

你不需要兰博基尼。

You don't need a Lamborghini.

这简直是浪费钱。

What a terrible waste of money.

它不会让你快乐。

It's not gonna make you happy.

它根本不会让你更快乐。

It's not gonna make you happier at all.

事实上，它只会让你更穷。

In fact, it's just gonna make you poorer.

18岁的史蒂夫曾以为物质能让人更富有，但25岁的史蒂夫明白物质只会让人更穷。

And 18 year old Steve had this idea that things would make him richer, but 25 year old Steve knows that things actually just make you poorer.

于是产生了这种心理冲突。

And there was this mental clash.

当我听到他们愿意支付的金额时，我正在Rightmove上看房子、看车。

I was on right move when I heard the figure that they would would give us, and I was looking at houses, and I was looking at cars.

但25岁的史蒂夫完全不在乎物质的东西。

But 25 year old Steve was looking through the lens of not caring about materialistic things at all.

这让我开始反思和思考。

And so that made me reflect, and it made me think.

如果不是为了物质，如果不是为了物质，那你做这一切是为了什么？

So if not material things if not material things, then why are you doing all of this stuff?

25岁的史蒂夫知道这个问题的答案，但18岁的史蒂夫才是那个渴望答案的人。

And 25 year old Steve knows the answer to that question, but it was 18 year old Steve that wanted an answer.

因为18岁的史蒂夫以为我们做这一切，一方面是想成就一番大事业，但实际上只是为了缓解每天挨饿的痛苦——我买不起食物，付不起公交车费，没钱去其他国家，没钱娱乐，甚至没钱进夜店。

Because 18 year old Steve thought we were doing all of this stuff, a, because we wanted to build something big, but, really, it was to quench the pain of starving every fucking day because I didn't have anything to eat, I didn't have enough money to get on a bus, and I didn't have enough money to go to another country, and I didn't have enough money to have fun, I didn't have enough money to get into a nightclub.

18岁的史蒂夫在缺乏这些东西时的动机就是获取它们，他以为得到这些就能获得幸福。

18 year old Steve, his motives when he didn't have those things was to attain those things, and he thought that those things might make him happy.

18岁的史蒂夫完全错了。

18 year old Steve was totally wrong.

幸运的是，18岁的史蒂夫其实已经很快乐了，但当时的我以为钱越多就越幸福，事实并非如此。

Fortunately fortunately, 18 year old Steve was already happy, but I thought at 18 that the more money you got, the happier you got, which really is not the case.

当你有足够的钱解决温饱、支付房租并享受生活时，金钱就与幸福无关了——它无法等比提升你的幸福感。

Money becomes totally irrelevant when you have enough money to feed yourself and to pay your rent and to have enjoyable experiences, then money doesn't scale your happiness.

这就是我领悟到的重要一课。

And and that was a that was a lesson I learned.

让我们再次回到这个问题。

And so, again, back to this question.

那么我做这些究竟是为了什么？

So what am I doing this for?

在过去12个月到两年间，这个答案变得越来越清晰。

And over the last twelve months, two years, it's become clearer and clearer for me.

我认为Social Chain这类企业的存在，在不知不觉间对世界产生了巨大的积极影响。

I think Social Chain and the existence of a business like Social Chain has had a tremendous positive impact on the world without really knowing it.

通过打造独特的工作环境，我们激励了全国乃至全球的企业争相效仿。

By creating the working environments we've created, we've inspired businesses across the country and across the world to follow suit.

我们的文化改变了其他文化，我们的员工影响了更多人。

Our culture has changed cultures, and our people have changed people.

我们雇佣了数百名年轻人，如果没有社交链，他们中的一些人可能会对自己的职业和生活感到相当迷茫和困惑。

We have employed hundreds of young people who, without social chain, would probably, in some cases, feel fairly disillusioned and confused about their careers and their lives.

我们还帮助过那些害羞、内向、缺乏经验、不自信的人，他们最终成长为极其自信、才华横溢的年轻领袖。

We've also helped develop people who were shy, who were within themselves, who were introverts, who were inexperienced, unconfident, and they've become incredibly confident, super talented, young leaders.

这对我来说是整个旅程中最大的回报。

That, for me, has been the greatest reward of this whole journey.

不是金钱。

It's not been the money.

也不是任何人写关于我的文章。

It's not been any article anybody's written about me.

而是能够对人们产生变革性的影响。

It's been being able to have a transformative impact on people.

再延伸一点说，我们建立了如此出色的企业，我确实认为我们已经能够激励其他人。

Also, stretching that a little bit further, we've built such a awesome business, I do think so, we've been able to inspire other people.

这个播客、我的视频博客和Instagram账号给了我极大的目标感。

And this podcast and my vlogs and my Instagram have given me great, great purpose.

这种思想领导力，拥有一个平台给了我极大的目标感。

That thought leadership, that having a platform gives me great, great purpose.

我每月收到来自世界各地成千上万条消息，人们因为生活变得更好、朝着幸福方向改变，这给了我极大的满足感。

All the messages I get, thousands of messages every month from all around the world from people who have made a change in their lives for the better and in the direction of happiness has given me great, great fulfillment.

最后，作为企业家，这听起来可能空洞或不值得，但打造颠覆行业、改变人们对世界认知方式、改变事物运作规则的事物，其中的竞争性、兴奋感、挑战性、影响力、触及人群、重塑世界认知——这就是我们在社交链所做的。

And lastly, as an entrepreneur, it sounds it sounds empty or it sounds like it's not worthwhile, but building something building something great that disrupts an industry and that changes people's perceptions on the world and the way that things should be done, the competitiveness of it, the the excitiveness, the challenge, the having an impact, the reaching people, the reimagining how the world is, that's what we're doing at Social Chain.

在最基本的层面上，这就是我们正在做的事。

At the most fundamental level, that is what we're doing.

这就是为什么对我来说这不是工作。

And that's why to me this isn't work.

这是竞技。

It is sport.

这简直太有趣了。

It is incredibly fun.

而我们通过存在、壮大、拥有更大平台和更多影响力所能产生的作用，可能会改变世界。

And the impact we're able to have by existing, by getting bigger, by having a bigger platform and by having more influence could change the world.

这就是我所下的赌注。

And that's the bet that I'm making.

我希望社会变革能改变世界。

I want social change to change the world.

你们是第一批听到这个消息的人。

You heard it here first.

感谢收听《CEO日记》的第一章。

Thank you for tuning into chapter one of The CEO Diaries.

我完全没想到这个播客会发展成这样。

I had no idea where this podcast was gonna go.

我正穿着短裤坐在曼彻斯特的家里。

I'm sat in my boxer shorts at home in Manchester.

现在是周日凌晨3点。

It is now 3AM in the morning on a Sunday night.

早上还要工作，接下来又是忙碌的一周。

I've got work in the morning, another busy week ahead.

我相信这周会带来更多挑战，我很期待下周日再与你们相聚，分享我这周的收获和新发现。

I'm sure it's gonna throw up me a lot more challenges and I'm excited to reconvene with you here on Sunday and talk to you about what I've learned this week and to discover some new conclusions.

感谢你们的陪伴，我们下周日再见。

Thanks for joining me and I'll see you guys again on Sunday.