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《CEO的日记》回来了，我等了好久才能说出这句话。
The Diary of a CEO is back, and I've waited the longest time to be able to say that.
事情是这样的。
Here's the thing.
第一季结束后，你们这些可爱的人给我发私信、在街上拦住我、发推特催我，一直缠着我要我把这个播客带回来做新一季。
After season one, you wonderful people DM'd me, stopped me in the street, tweeted me, and hounded me to bring the podcast back for another season.
我做的所有内容里，没有哪个能像这个一样得到这么热烈又忠实的反响。
There is no piece of content that I produce that's had such a phenomenal dedicated response.
正因为这样，我们把《CEO的日记》带回来做了第二季，我跑遍了世界各地，走了几万英里，去见了各种鼓舞人心的人，从全球最大的YouTuber、最厉害的企业家，到全世界最激励人心的艺术家。
And because of that, we brought The Diary of a CEO back for a second season and I've traveled tens of thousands of miles around the world meeting inspiring people from the world's biggest YouTubers, most impressive business people to the world's most inspiring artists.
我们请到了一批非常棒的嘉宾。
We've got an amazing mix of guests.
形式很简单。
The format is simple.
这不是一场采访。
This is not an interview.
我要的是真诚和实话。
I want honesty, truth.
我想看看你的私人日记。
I want to see into your personal diary.
我想了解你，而不是给你做广告。
I want to understand you, not to advertise you.
我想听那些大多数人没胆量说出口的话，因为在一个什么都经过修饰的世界里，人们最需要的就是那些不加修饰的东西。
I want to hear the things that most people wouldn't have the guts to say because in a world where everything is filtered, it's the unfiltered that people need the most.
如果你还不认识我，我叫史蒂文·巴特利特。
If you don't know me, my name is Steven Bartlett.
我是个辍学生。
I'm a dropout.
我被学校开除了。
I got kicked out of school.
我18岁就创办了第一家公司。
I started my first business at age 18.
我现在26岁，是全球最大的营销公司之一Social Chain的首席执行官。
I'm now the 26 year old CEO of one of the world's largest global marketing companies, Social Chain.
我们和全球最大的品牌合作。
We work with the world's biggest brands.
我们在全球有五个办公室，还有两百七十名全职员工。
We have five offices around the world and two seventy full time members of staff.
我只是在尽力而为。
I'm just doing my best.
努力做到最好，同时也在努力理解和应对生活。
Doing my best to be my best, but also to understand and navigate life.
这一路走来真是疯狂，而且未来还会更疯狂。
What a crazy, crazy journey it's been, and it's still yet to be.
播客第一季之后，我的生活发生了很多变化。
After season one of the podcast, so much of my life changed.
我搬到了五千多公里外的纽约市，现在住在这里，搬过去是为了专注于在美国发展我们的公司。
I moved over 5,000 kilometers away to New York City, which is where I now live, and I moved there to focus on building our company in America.
相信我，美国是个很大的地方。
And trust me when I say this, America is a big place.
美国是个新的挑战。
America is a new challenge.
这是个巨大的挑战。
It's a huge challenge.
但我这一辈子都在挑战自己能力之外的事情。
But I've spent my whole life out of my depth.
所以现在，美国正是我需要去的地方。
So right now, America is where I need to be.
这个待会儿再说。
More on that in a second.
但在翻开我的日记，把那些深沉甚至有时阴暗的想法分享给你们之前，我想先谢谢你们。
But before I open my diary and share all of my deep, sometimes dark thoughts with you, I just wanna thank you.
谢谢你们的收听。
I wanna thank you for listening.
谢谢你们的等待。
Thank you for waiting.
谢谢你们的每一条帖子、分享、评论和评价。
Thank you for all of your posts, shares, comments, and reviews.
我全都看到了。
I saw them all.
作为回报，我和我的团队费了很大劲，确保第二季绝对是有史以来最好的一季。
And in return, me and my team have gone to extra lengths to ensure that season two is by far the best season yet.
这不是事先编排好的。
This is not scripted.
现在房间里只有我一个人。
There's no one else in the room with me right now.
我以我所有的价值、我的承诺和一切发誓，我现在是周日凌晨3点33分，独自在酒店房间里录这段音。
I promise on everything that I'm worth and my word and everything else, I'm recording this at 03:33AM on a Sunday night alone in my hotel room.
我要和你们分享一些很私人的想法，那些一直在我脑海里盘旋的事情，一些我从未对地球上任何人说过的个人信息，还有自从我们上次聊天以来，我写在日记里的所有笔记。
I'm going to share deep personal thoughts with you, things that have been playing on my mind, personal information that I haven't shared with another human being on earth, and ultimately, all of the notes that I've written into my diary since we last spoke.
希望你准备好了。
I hope you're ready.
那么废话不多说，这就是《CEO的日记》第二季。
So without further ado, this is the Diary of a CEO season two.
我是史蒂文·巴特利特。
I'm Steven Bartlett.
我希望没有人正在听。
I hope nobody is listening.
但如果你在听，请替我保密。
But if you are, then please keep this to yourself.
从哪里开始说起呢？
Where to start?
天哪。
Damn.
好吧。
Okay.
所以，我日记里的第一个要点，我刚写下心理健康，那个自杀的人。
So the first point in my diary, I've just written mental health, the guy that committed suicide.
这个对我来说挺难讲的。
And I this is a tough one for me.
我就直接讲
I'm just gonna tell
个故事吧。
you a story.
大概六个月前，我在Facebook上发了个视频。
I made a video on Facebook about, I don't know, six months ago.
视频叫《带着微笑面对抑郁》，讲的是世界上一些最受人喜爱的人，他们给那么多人带来了那么多快乐，但他们自己却在和你看不见的内心挣扎作斗争。
The video was called smiling through depression, and the video talked about how some of the world's most adored people that brought so much happiness to so many people's lives were fighting battles that you could never ever see based on appearances.
我提到了Vici，提到了罗宾·威廉姆斯，还提到了其他人。
And I talked about Vici, I talked about Robin Williams, and I talked about others.
我在视频里想传达的核心信息就是，要把每个人都当作正在经历你完全不了解的事情来对待，善良真的能解决这个世界上的很多问题。
And my overall message in the video was just to treat everybody as if they're going through something which you know nothing about, and that kindness really could be the answer to so many things in this world.
这个视频反响很好。
The video did great.
我觉得它大概有一千六百万到一千七百万的观看量，看到它对这么多人产生了这么积极的影响，我特别开心。
I think it's it's got sixteen, seventeen million views, and I was so happy to see that it had such a positive impact on so many people.
但问题是。
But here's the thing.
视频发布几天后，我记得是在推特上，我收到一个叫杰克·迪恩的人发来的私信。
I was on, I think it was Twitter a few days after the the video came out, and I got a direct message from somebody called Jack Dean.
杰克·迪恩是个很有名的油管博主。
Jack Dean is a well known YouTuber.
他有几百万的订阅者和粉丝。
He's got millions of subscribers and followers.
他对我说，史蒂夫，我有个挺沉重的事要告诉你。
He said to me, Steve, I've got a got something pretty dark to tell you.
他说，我认识的一个本地人刚刚自杀了，而且他在我们那边挺有名的。
He said, somebody I know locally has just killed themself, and they're very well known in our area.
他最后在网上分享的就是你那条关于心理健康的视频。
And the last thing they shared online was your video about mental health.
然后他给我发了一个链接，是那个人的Facebook页面，我就点进去看了。
And he sent me a link to this guy's Facebook page, and I went on this guy's Facebook page.
结果上面就有我的视频。
And there is my video.
他的朋友和家人都在那条视频下面留言，表达哀悼之类的。
And all of his friends and family have used that video as a platform to now express their condolences and and so on.
那一刻，我脑子里闪过很多念头，想到有人看了我的视频，然后在看完后的十二小时内就决定结束自己的生命，这让我有点难以接受。
And in that moment, I went through a tremendous amount of thoughts to think that somebody watched my video and then within twelve hours of watching something that I'd produced made the decision to end their own life was was something that I I struggled with a little bit.
当时我没怎么跟别人提过这件事，但确实让我心里很乱，原因有好几个。
And I didn't really tell anybody this at the time, but it was it really messed with my head for for a number of reasons.
我现在就想把这些原因都跟你讲讲。
And I'm just going to try and explain all of those reasons to you.
所以当我发布那条视频后，大概收到了两三千条来自正在经历心理健康问题的人的消息。
So when I released that video, I probably got about two to 3,000 messages from people who were going through mental health issues.
说实话，有些人说的话，真的让我毛骨悚然。
And some of the things that people said, honestly, it makes my my hair stand on edge.
我跟一个埃及女孩聊过，她被困在埃及的卧室里，已经四个月没出过房间了。
I I spoke to an Egyptian girl stuck in her bedroom in Egypt who hadn't left the room for four months.
她当时正在想办法结束自己的生命。
He was trying to find a way to kill herself.
我还跟一些我很亲近的人聊过，他们分享了自己非常私密的故事，讲他们怎么考虑过结束自己的生命，甚至结束身边所有人的生命。
I spoke to people that I knew very closely that shared their very deep personal stories about how they'd considered ending their own lives and everybody else everybody else's life in their life.
然后我又处理了这件事，就是那个分享了我视频然后自杀的人。
And then I dealt with this, you know, this guy who had shared my video and had killed himself.
我觉得，我当时一下子感受到了所有的情绪。
I felt I think I felt everything at once.
我感到悲伤。
I felt sad.
我感到无言以对。
I felt speechless.
我感到非常震惊。
I felt horrified.
然后，当这种事情发生时，接下来会发生什么。
And then so here's what happens when something like that happens.
你首先想到的是，是不是我造成的？
The first thing you think is, did I cause this?
是不是我在视频里说了什么，导致这个人结束了自己的生命？
Did something I say in my video cause this person to end their own life?
我记得我回去重新看那个视频，带着一个可能正在挣扎的人的视角去听，然后想，这是不是，你明白的。
And I I remember going back through the video and listening to it again through the lens of someone that might have been struggling and thinking, is this you know, you understand.
我陷入了那种思绪。
I went down that that path.
而且更糟的是，我身边很多人得知这个人结束了自己的生命，而他最后看的是我的视频。
It also didn't help because so many people around me who'd found out about this guy ending his own life and the fact that he the last thing he'd watched was my video.
他们也给我发消息说，史蒂夫，别担心。
They also messaged me to tell me, Steve, don't worry.
他不是因为你才结束生命的。
He didn't end his life because of you.
我其实没这么想，直到别人开始这么说。
And I didn't really think that until people started saying it.
所以我觉得这让我更往那个方向想了。
So I think that sent me down that path further.
然后我问了自己一大堆问题。
And I asked myself a ton of questions.
然后第二件事，也是我最终想通的，就是我脑子里最终得出的结论是：我们做的每一件事，我们产出的每一个东西，都有可能影响到某个正处于人生最脆弱、最关键时刻的人。
And then the the second thing, and this is ultimately where I ended up, this is where my mind ended up, was everything we do, everything we produce has the impact of reaching somebody in their most vulnerable, the most significant moment of their lives.
可能是在商店里，别人钱不够的时候你帮他买了菜。
It could be in a shop, you buying somebody their vegetables when they don't have enough change.
也可能是帮别人扶一下门。
It could be holding the door open for somebody.
也可能是你在网上发的某个东西。
It could be something that you post online.
说实话，我在Facebook上发的视频，浏览量从两百万到三千五百万不等。
And the truth is, you know, the videos I post on Facebook have varied between 2,000,000 views and 35,000,000 views.
我百分之百承认，我把那些数字只当数字看，没当成是人。
And I, 100%, am guilty of looking at those numbers as numbers and not as people.
就在那一刻，我意识到了这两件事。
And in that moment, I realized those two things.
我意识到，我做的每一件事都可能影响到某个人，而且常常是在他们非常脆弱的时候。
I realized that everything I do could be reaching somebody and often is reaching somebody in a very vulnerable place.
那三千五百万次观看，就是三千五百万个人，三千五百万个活生生的人。
And that those 35,000,000 views are 35 potentially 35,000,000 people, 35,000,000 human beings.
所以那一刻，这给了我一种强烈的责任感。我甚至被这个念头困扰着：我发布的每一条内容，都可能是某个人听到的最后一样东西。
And so what it did for me in that moment, it it gave me this intense sense of responsibility, And I I I'm, like, haunted by the thought that everything I produce and put online could be the last, potentially, the last thing a human being hears.
我可能是那个结束自己生命的人最后交谈的对象。
I am probably the last person that spoke to that guy that ended his life.
如果当时录那个视频的时候我就知道这一点，我会……
And if I'd known that at the time when I recorded that video, what would I
我会说些什么不同的话呢？
have said differently?
我会
What would I
在那段视频里做些什么不同的事呢？
have done differently in that video?
这个想法一直萦绕在我心头。
And that's a thought that's just stayed with me for a while.
说到心理健康，因为我本人没有经历过很多人那样的心理问题，比如焦虑、抑郁、双相情感障碍等等，对我来说，说实话，这完全是一个很难理解的概念和构架。
Mental health, because I haven't experienced mental health, issues to the extent that a lot of people have in terms of anxiety and depression and bipolar and all of these things, for me it's all and this is me just being completely honest.
它一直是一个相当难以理解的概念和构架。
It's always been a concept and a construct that's been quite hard to understand.
如果你没有经历过某些事情，你就无法完全体会它。
If you've not gone through something, you can't fully appreciate it.
你就是做不到，你没法假装做到。
You just can't you you can't pretend to.
我相信每个人在谈论自己心理健康问题时说的每一个字，每一个字。
I believe every word everybody says when they talk about their mental health issues, every word.
我内心深处能真切地感受到。
I feel it deeply within my soul and my being.
它一直对我影响巨大。
It it it's always had a huge impact on me.
我为那些经历过困境的朋友流过泪。
And I've cried for friends that have gone through things.
但在那一刻，一切都变得如此真实，如此真实。
But in that moment, it all became so incredibly real, so incredibly real.
现在说起来我都觉得情绪激动，因为我真希望当时能多做点什么。
And it makes me feel emotional even to talk about it now because I just wish there was something more
我本可以做得更多。
I could have done.
我真希望当时能多做点什么。
I wish there was there was something more I could
能说的话。
have said.
说这些的时候，我眼里真的含着泪。
And there's literally, like, tears in my eyes as I say this.
但当我更广泛地思考心理健康问题时，我觉得有几件事真的非常重要。
But and when I think about mental health issues more broadly, I think there's a few things to that are really, really important.
我觉得其中一件我随着时间学到的事情是，理解我们经历的每一刻都是暂时的，这让人感到有力量，也带来平静。
And I think one of them I've come to learn over time is that it's it's empowering, it's it's peace bringing to understand that every moment we experience is temporary.
每一刻。
Every moment.
我们最黑暗的时刻，最有压力的时刻，都是暂时的。
Our darkest moments, our most stressful moments, they are temporary.
我知道有时候这些时刻的持续时间可能长达几年，也可能几天，几小时，不管怎样，这些时刻都是暂时的，下雨时我们绝不能放弃。
And I know sometimes the duration of that, that those moments can be can be years, it can be days, it can be hours, whatever, but those moments are temporary, and we must never give up when it rains.
但同样，我们最光明的时刻也是暂时的。
But also, our brightest moments are temporary.
那些快乐的日子、和朋友一起欢庆的时刻、我们最美好的回忆，所有这些也都是暂时的。
The days of joy, jubilation, with friends, our fondest memories, all of those things are temporary.
所以我们也需要学会，当外面阳光明媚、太阳高照的时候，我们要更多地活在当下。
So we also need to learn that when it's sunny outside and when the sun's shining, we need to live more in the moment.
我觉得，认识到我们所有的时刻都是暂时的，这种心态只会给我们带来快乐，也能帮助我们更好地度过风雨。
And I think the perspective that all of our moments are temporary is one that will only bring us happiness and it'll help us weather the storm a
稍微好一点。
little bit better.
我读过不少
I've read a number
自从我们上次在这个播客上聊过之后，过去一年里我读了很多关于心理健康的书，我真的形成了自己的看法，为什么我们这一代和当今社会有这么多心理健康问题，以至于我觉得这已经有点
of books in the last year since we've last spoken on this podcast about mental health, and I've really managed to develop my own opinions on why our generation and society today has so many mental health issues to the point where I think it's a bit
危机了。
of a crisis.
我在想，我
And I think about and I'm
我会非常坦诚、直白地讲，因为这正是这个播客的意义所在。
gonna talk very honestly and openly here because this is what this podcast is all about.
我不想非得考虑政治正确，对吧，或者去监控、过滤我的观点。
I don't wanna have to think about being PC, right, or monitoring or filtering my opinion.
我就是没那个该死的时间或耐心。
I just don't have the fucking time or the patience.
所以，这是我的想法。
So here's my thoughts.
人类天生并没有心理健康问题。
Human beings weren't built with mental health issues.
我们不是生来就有，你知道，
We weren't created to have, you know,
我们进化过程中并没有伴随这些心理健康问题。
we didn't evolve with these mental health issues.
我觉得很多心理健康问题，不是全部，但很多是源于我们尚未完全认识到的原因。
I think a lot of the mental health issues, not all of them, but I think a lot of them are from causes that we don't yet fully appreciate.
我百分之百同意，确实有生物学上的原因，也就是医学上的原因，会导致我们出现心理健康问题。
I 100% agree that there are biological and therefore medical reasons why we get mental health issues.
科学也支持这一点。
The science supports that.
但我觉得，因为心理健康问题在我们这一代，或者说在当今社会里爆发得这么厉害，肯定还有其他原因。
But I think because of the way that mental health issues have exploded into our generation I guess and into our society today, there must be other reasons.
肯定也有社会层面的原因。
There must also be societal reasons.
肯定也有文化层面的原因，因为跟一百万年前相比，唯一变的就是这些。
There must also be cultural reasons because that is the only thing that's changed from now versus say a million years ago.
当然，人们的意识也变了。
Of course awareness has changed as well.
而且对这些问题的认识产生了巨大的影响，因为现在人们觉得可以谈论这些了，污名在一定程度上被消除了。
And being aware of these things has had a tremendous impact because people now feel they can talk about them, the stigma has been removed to some extent.
污名还是存在的，但只是在一定程度上。
There's still a stigma there, but to some extent.
所以社会因素是我最关注的部分。
And so societal factors are the things that I focus on the most.
当我想到人类以及我们如何生存下来时，有一本很棒的书叫《迷失的联结》，这里稍微透露一点。
And when I think about human beings and how we came to survive, there's this great book called Lost Connections, and here's a little bit of a hint.
不。
No.
不是透露。
Not a hint.
这里稍微揭晓一下。
Here's a little bit of a a reveal.
这本书的作者上过我的播客。
I've got the author of this book on this podcast.
我和他在伦敦录的这期节目。
I recorded this with him in London.
但先退一步说，这本叫《迷失的联结》的书真的很深入探讨了这个问题。
But to back up a sec, great book called Lost Connections, which really examines this.
基本上，这本书说的是，一百万年前，我们进化到了今天这个样子，经历了这么长的时间。
And basically, it says this, a million years ago, we evolved to where we are today over that period of time.
一百万年前，我们的生活方式跟现在很不一样。
And a million years ago, we lived in much different ways.
让我觉得特别震撼的是，我们过去的生活方式，恰恰是现在医生、社会心理学家和很多其他专家建议我们采用的生活方式，如果我们想改善心理健康的话。
And it's mind blowing to me that the way we used to live is the way that doctors and social psychologists and a lot of other people advise us to live today if we want to improve our mental well-being.
说到心理健康，我想说，每个人都有心理健康，就像每个人都有身体健康一样。
I'd listen, on the point of mental well-being, everybody has mental health, okay, in the same way that you have physical health.
心理健康不是非黑即白的。
Mental health isn't a binary thing.
不是说你要么有病，要么没事。
It's not you're either ill or you're fine.
在我看来，它是一个连续的谱系，对吧？
It's a spectrum in my mind, right?
所以我们每个人都有心理健康的状态。
So we all have mental well-being.
如果你想改善心理健康，社会心理学家和其他人会建议你做一些事情，比如锻炼、和朋友家人在一起。
And if you want to improve your mental well-being according to social psychologists and others, they tell you to do things like exercise, to spend time with friends and family.
这些都是科学证明能改善我们心理健康的事情。
These are all the things that science has proven improve our mental well-being.
一百万年前，我们是部落动物。
A million years ago, we were tribal animals.
对吧？
Right?
我们和亲人、朋友生活在一起。
We lived with our loved ones and our friends.
我觉得这就是这本书为什么叫《失联》的原因，因为我们真的失去了联系。
And I think this is why the book is called Lost Connections, because we've really lost our connections.
今天，
Today,
我们通常独自生活，在四面白墙之间。
we live alone, generally, between four white walls.
对吧？
Right?
我们看不到
We don't see
我们的亲人。
our loved ones.
而当我们和亲人说话时，我们
And when we speak to our loved ones, we
是通过敲击玻璃屏幕、iPhone、安卓手机来进行的。
do so by tapping glass screens, iPhones, Androids.
我们以前也生活在自然中，自然中有某种东西是与生俱来的人性，能安抚我们的灵魂。
We also used to live in nature, and there's something about nature which is innately human and calms our soul.
在《失落的精神连接》这本书里，他们做了一个很棒的研究，如果看监狱里的囚犯，那些能看到自然景色的囚犯，抑郁的可能性比那些只能看到水泥墙的囚犯低30%。
There's this great study they've done in this book, Lost Connections, where if you look prisoners in a prison that are looking out on nature are like 30% less likely to be depressed than the prisoners looking out on concrete.
这说明了我们作为人类天生就有的社交需求，而如今我们已经失去了这些需求。
And that speaks to the innate sort of social needs that we have as human beings that we've lost today.
我们不再生活在自然中。
We don't live in nature.
我们生活在混凝土丛林里，四面都是白墙。
We live in concrete jungles between four white walls.
另一件我认为非常重要的事情就是运动。
And the other thing, which I think is so, so important, is exercise.
作为群居动物和人类，几千年前我们常常步行、奔跑去打猎。
As tribe animals and humans, for thousands and thousands of years ago, we used to walk, run to hunt.
我们过去很活跃，每天都进行活动和锻炼。
We used to be active, and we used to do activity and daily exercise every single day.
现在我们出门都靠优步。
We now use Uber to get around.
所以对我来说，当我考虑心理健康以及如何改善自己的心理状态时，关键就在于重新回归更人性化的生活方式。
So for me, when I think about mental health and how I can improve my own mental well-being, it's all of those things that involve getting back to being more human.
那就是多花时间陪伴朋友和家人。
It's spending more time with my friends and family.
就是每天锻炼。
It's daily exercise.
就是多接触大自然。
It's being out in nature more.
这些都是关键。
These are all the thing.
《迷失的联结》这本书讲到，焦虑、抑郁和孤独的感觉，其实是人性在召唤我们回归部落，回归我们原本的生活方式。
And the book Lost Connections talks about how the feelings of anxiety and depression and loneliness are the human in us calling us to get back to our tribe, to get back to how we lived.
这是当今世界带来的痛苦，是孤独。
It's the pain of the way that the world is today, the loneliness.
书里有个数据真的让我很震惊。
And there's this stat in the book that really blew my mind.
它说，对于“在危机时刻你能向多少人求助”这个问题，美国人最常见的回答是零。
It says that the modal answer, so the most common answer to the question, how many people could you turn to in a time of crisis, for Americans is now zero.
十年前，答案是三个。
A decade ago, it was three.
现在最常见的答案是零。
Now the most common answer is zero.
我们已经失去了彼此的联系。
We have lost our connections.
好的。
Okay.
日记里的第二点。
Point two in my diary.
我刚写了这一句话。
I've just written this one sentence.
我就照着我写的样子读一遍。
I'm just gonna read it as I've written it.
我写的是：他妈的相信你的直觉，你这个混蛋。
I've written, fucking trust your gut, you fucking asshole.
为了解释一下，我这么生气的原因是，又一次，我的直觉知道了一些事情，而我选择忽略它，因为我的脑子觉得自己更聪明。
And just to give some context to that, the reason why I'm so annoyed is because, once again, my gut knew something, and I chose to ignore it because my head thinks it's smarter.
你身上没有任何一部分是这样的，这个经验来自经营企业。
There is no part of you that is and this is this experience comes from running a business.
经营企业，尤其是大型全球企业，一部分就是要雇佣和接触很多人。
And part of running a business, a big global business, is you have to hire and meet a lot of people.
所以你有直觉，它一直都在，但你通常根据头脑和直觉做决定，但也会看简历、资历之类的东西。
So you have your gut instinct, which is always there, but then you make your decision based on your head and your gut usually, but also on on CVs and, you know, qualifications and things like that.
过去四年我们大概雇了三百五十人。
We've probably hired about three fifty people in the last four years.
对吧？
Right?
所以我非常清楚地衡量出我的直觉对一个人的看法，以及他们后来的表现。
And so what I get a very clear gauge of is what my gut thought of a person and then they how they panned out.
所以我在日记里写这个，骂自己又不相信直觉，是因为四年后我意识到，我的直觉早就知道了。
So this point in my diary, me calling myself an asshole for not trusting my gut again, comes from the realization four years in that my gut already knew.
我的直觉早就知道了。
My gut already knew.
我的直觉记得。
My gut remembers.
我的直觉记得那些让你有这种感觉的人，无论是你见面、面试的人，还是潜在的恋爱对象，他们最后都怎么样了。
My gut remembers how people who felt like this, felt like the person you're meeting or interviewing or the relationship prospect, how they all pan out.
而且你的直觉不会原谅。
And your gut doesn't forgive.
它不会像你的头脑那样，有时候会说服自己忽略直觉。
It doesn't forget in the same way that your head sometimes talks yourself out of your gut.
对吧？
Right?
所以我又在日记里生自己的气，因为不信任直觉让我付出的代价比生命中任何事都大。
So I'm pissed off once again in my diary because not trusting my gut has cost me more than anything in my life.
不信任自己的直觉。
Not trusting my gut.
还有一件事，有时候直觉会在六个月后冒出来，对你说，听着，珍妮，或者听着，史蒂夫。
And the other thing is sometimes your gut comes in, six months in and it says to you, listen, Jenny, or listen, Steve.
我六个月前就告诉过你这个人怎么样。
I told you six months ago about this person.
我告诉过你要相信自己的直觉。
I told you to trust your instincts.
对吧？
Right?
现在我再给你一次机会，让你立刻纠正。
And I'm giving you another chance now to correct it immediately.
然后你的脑子又跑出来说，再给他一次机会吧。
And then your head shows up again and says, well, just give him another chance.
也许这次会不一样呢。
Maybe it'll be different this time.
各位，相信你的直觉。
Trust your gut, ladies and gentlemen.
我向你保证。
I promise you.
相信你的直觉。
Trust your gut.
我们确实不够相信自己的直觉，而且我真的觉得，直觉这个词听起来挺糟糕的，但我觉得正是这个东西帮助我们人类生存下来的。
We don't trust our our instincts enough, and I genuinely feel that the gut, right, sounds like a horrible word, but I I feel like that is the thing that helped us to survive as human beings.
在草原上，我不知道，几万年前或者什么时候，当我们看到那头狮子，抬头看着它，我们不会走过去想，嘿，我想摸摸它。
On the savannah, I don't know, tens of thousands of years ago or whenever it was, when we saw that lion and we looked up at that lion and we didn't go over and think, hey, I wanna pet it.
因为我们内心深处知道，它会咬掉我们的手，把我们嚼碎，把我们撕成碎片，还会用牙齿把我们闷死。
Because we knew deep down that it would bite our hand off and chew us and maul us to death and, you know, suffocate us with its teeth.
那就是我们的直觉。
That was our gut instinct.
我觉得今天这种直觉依然存在于我们身上，它是一种生存本能，表现为你遇到某人时那种无法解释的偏见。
I think the same thing is still present today in us, and it's a survival thing, manifests itself in this unexplainable prejudice you get when you meet somebody.
我觉得这很重要。
I think it's important.
我觉得我们的眼睛、头脑和大脑有时候太逻辑化了，反而忽略了那个让我们作为物种存活了上百万年的东西。
I think that our eyes and our head and our brain are too logical sometimes for that thing that's caused us to survive for the last million years as a species.
所以我想说的是，你的直觉就是你的武器，只要相信它、跟着它走就行了，因为，是的。
So all I'm saying is your gut is your your weapon and just trust and follow it because I can yeah.
就像我说的，我太固执了，没有从我的错误中吸取教训，抱歉。
As I said, me being stubborn and not learning from my fucking, you know, my my mistake, my sorry.
我对这件事很生气，因为这是我希望能更常做的事情，但很可能明天我还是会跟着脑子走，试图说服自己别信直觉。
I'm I'm pissed off at this because it's one of those things that I just wish I did more often, but the chances are tomorrow I still will will go with my head and try and talk my gut out of it.
因为有时候表面上的证据太有说服力了，让你觉得必须得跟着某个人走。
Because sometimes the the apparent evidence can be too compelling that you have to, you know, you have to you feel you have to go for somebody.
该死。
Damn.
各位，相信你们的直觉。
Trust your gut, ladies and gentlemen.
有一件事我一次又一次地失败。
I have failed over and over and over again at one thing.
如果你听了这个播客，看过我的视频博客，你就会知道我在说什么。
If And you listen to this podcast, you've watched my vlogs, you will know exactly what I'm talking about.
2018年我变胖了，真的胖了。
In 2018, I got fat, really fat.
相对于我这一辈子的体型来说，算是胖了。
Fat in relation to how I've been my whole life.
2018年是我这辈子最胖的一年。
It's the the fattest year of my life, 2018.
那是怎么发生的呢？
And how did it happen?
因为我吃得太多了。
It happened because I ate a lot.
没想到吧。
Surprise.
因为我吃得多，又不运动。
It happened because I ate a lot and I didn't exercise.
而且我根本不在乎吃多少。
And also, I just didn't give a fuck about eating more.
所以我就，你猜怎么着？
So I would just and you know what?
我吃那些披萨的时候可开心了。
I had a great time eating all those pizzas.
但说到底，你知道，身体真的是你唯一真正拥有的东西。
But, ultimately, you know, your body is really your only possession.
其他一切都是租来的，只有身体是你真正拥有的。
Everything else, you're just leasing, but your body is your only real possession.
我觉得关键在于，就像我在日记里写的，这正好引出我下一个观点，这就是我写的原话：我他妈到底想成为什么样的人？
And I think the thing is, as I've written in my diary here, which leads on to my next point, and this is what exactly what I wrote, who the fuck do I want to be?
这就是我留在日记里的问题，它已经在那儿放了大概四个月了，一直盯着我。
That's the question I I left in my diary, and it's been sat there for about four months now staring at me.
我他妈到底想成为什么样的人？
Who the fuck do I want to be?
而且我确定今年和去年我都知道答案，但我失败了。
And I know for a fact this year and last year, but I failed.
我想成为最好的自己，我对此深信不疑，
I want to be the best version of myself, and I believe so, so deeply in
关于健身和保持健康。
fitness and being healthy.
当我去健身房的时候，
When I go to the gym,
我更快乐，精力更充沛，因为我能睡得像个婴儿一样香。
I am happier, I have more energy because I sleep like a baby.
我的皮肤变好了，性生活也更和谐。
I my skin's better, You have a better sex life.
一切都变得更好了。
Everything is better.
而且我看起来更好，因此我的自信心也更高了。
And I look better, and therefore, my confidence is higher.
我感觉棒极了。
I feel great.
今年，我会更经常问自己，我到底想成为什么样的人？
And in this year, I'm gonna ask myself more often, who
我到底想成为什么样的人？
the fuck do I want to be?
最重要的是，我现在做的事情，比如吃披萨、躺着不动、懒懒散散，这些符合我想成为的那个人吗？
And most importantly, are my current actions, eating pizza, laying around, being lazy, in line with who I want to be?
去年，我的行为就不符合我想成为的那个人。
And last year, my actions were not in line with who I want to be.
我现在就跟你说实话。
I'm gonna be honest with you right now.
对。
Right.
我旁边有个抽屉，里面全是巧克力棒。
There's this drawer next to me, and it is full of chocolate bars.
你猜怎么着？
And guess what?
我饿了。
I am hungry.
现在是凌晨四点。
It is 4AM in the morning.
我有一块迪尔瑞牛奶巧克力棒。
I have a Diary Diary milk chocolate bar.
还有两块威士巧克力棒。
There's two Whisper chocolate bars.
还有一块焦糖巧克力棒。
There's another caramel chocolate bar.
顺便说一句，这些不是我放的。
I didn't put them there, by the way.
这是家酒店。
This is a hotel.
但我刚把门关上了，因为吃那些该死的巧克力棒的行为，跟我拼命想成为的那个人不一致。
But I've just closed the door because my actions of eating those fucking chocolate bars are not in line with who I desperately want to be.
我觉得每个人都是由他们如何过度反应来定义的。
And I think everybody is defined by how they react too hard.
现在对我来说，不吃那些巧克力棒真的很难。
It is hard for me not to eat those chocolate bars right now.
在健身房里多做一组动作对我来说很难。
It is hard for me to do an extra rep in the gym.
当我紧张的时候，上台对我来说很难。
It is hard for me to go up on stage when I'm nervous.
不是说我现在紧张，而是以前。
Not that I'm nervous these days, but back in the day.
现在凌晨四点录播客，多工作一个小时很难，因为我真的很想睡觉，而且我知道我必须在凌晨三点醒来。
It it is hard to work an extra hour recording a podcast at 4AM in the morning now when I really wanna sleep and I know that I have to be awake at 3AM.
我们都是由我们如何过度反应来定义的。
We are all defined by how we react too hard.
当那个念头闪过你脑海的时候，这很难。
When that when that thought crosses your mind, this is hard.
对吧？
Right?
你在那一刻的决定，就是定义你的决定。
Your decision in that moment is a defining one.
那就是你。
That's who you are.
而我们如何应对困难，取决于我们有多想要
And how we react to hard is based on how bad we want
困难背后的那个东西。
the thing on the other side of hard.
你明白吗？
You know?
所以我不
And so the reason I'm not
吃那些该死的巧克力棒，是因为，首先，那不是我想要成为的人。
eating those fucking chocolate bars is because, a, that's not who I want to be.
而且我知道，如果我做了决定，然后我屈服了，那我就得不到困难背后那个东西了。
And I know that if I make the decision and I and I cave in, then I won't get the thing on on the other side of hard.
对我来说，今年困难背后的东西就是去健身房，看起来很棒，而且身体健康。
And the thing on the other side of hard for me this year is going to the gym, looking great, and being healthy.
怎么说呢，其实我是去年十二月底开始去健身房的。
In the last, I would say, so I started going to the gym in in late December.
到现在我已经连续去了十七天了。
I've been going for seventeen days in a row now.
虽然几乎每年我都没能坚持这个健康和健身的计划，就把它叫做新年决心吧，但我并没有因此气馁。
And I'm not deterred by the fact that I've failed almost every year at this at this health and fitness, let's just call it a resolution, you know.
我没有被这个打击到。
I'm not deterred by that.
我还会再试一次。
I am going to try again.
你们听这个节目的人，99%按理说都不该相信我，但咱们就走着瞧吧。
And 99% of you listening to this should logically not believe me, but let's just see what happens.
我感觉特别好。
I feel great.
我瘦了大概多少来着？
I've lost about how much have I lost?
这十七天里大概瘦了六磅。
About six pounds in the last seventeen days.
而且我做事的时候特别较真。
And when I do things, I'm obsessive about them.
所以这十七天里，我一口坏碳水都没碰。
So I've not eaten a carb, a bad carb in those seventeen days.
我只吃沙拉。
I've only eaten salads.
我连薄荷糖都不看一眼，就怕万一，你懂的，我现在把这些东西都当成敌人。
I won't even look at a fucking mint just in case it's gonna it's that you know, I look at these things now as the enemy.
这抽屉里的巧克力就是敌人。
This drawer full of chocolate is the enemy.
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接着这个话题，我在日记里还记了另一点，想跟大家分享一下。
And kinda linking on to that, I've got this other point in my diary here, which I wanted to share.
我经常被人问到，是哪本书、哪个播客或者哪句话激励我成为我想成为的人。
I get asked all the time what, book or podcast or quote inspired me to become who I wanted to be.
但说实话，我并不是被播客、书或者某句话激励的。
And the truth is, I wasn't inspired by a podcast or a book or a quote.
这就是我本来的样子，有缺点也有优点。
This is just who I am, faults and all.
对吧？
Right?
我远非完美。
I'm far from perfect.
这就是我。
This is who I am.
我不是在刻意变成这样。
I'm not trying to be this.
我不是在演戏。
I'm not acting.
事实上，我成为今天的我，最疯狂的是，当我停止演戏，不再试图成为别人，而是做自己的时候。
I became who I am today, in fact, and this is the crazy thing, when I stopped acting, when I stopped trying to be somebody else, everybody else.
这就是我。
This is who I am.
我真的觉得，这可能是我在互联网上说过的最重要的话。
And I genuinely think, I genuinely might be the the most important thing I've ever said on the Internet ever.
我真心相信，如果你想变得伟大、快乐、成功，你只需要停止做别人，或者试图成为别人。
I genuinely believe that if you want to become great, happy, successful, all you need to do is stop being everyone else or trying to be someone else.
我觉得，在那面具、自我和所有这些东西背后，藏着一个非常了不起的人。
I think disguised behind that mask in the ego and all of those things, there is a really amazing human being.
对吧？
Right?
一个真正了不起的、世界需要的人。
A really and and a human being that the world needs.
不是马克·扎克伯格、不是别人、也不是加里那种克隆人，而是这个世界迫切需要的人。
Not a fucking clone of Mark Zuckerberg or someone else or Gary, someone the world desperately needs.
我觉得如果你能摘下面具，放下自我，专注于做那个人，不管别人怎么说，不管你妈会怎么想，不管你爸会不会跟你断绝关系，不管朋友会不会嘲笑你，那就是最好的自己。
And I think if you can take down the mask, take down your ego, and focus on being that person without care of what people might say, what your mother might do, what your dad might you know, who he might disown you, what your friends might laugh at you for, I think that's the the greatest version of yourself.
我花了大概二十六年才明白这一点，但最好的史蒂夫，就是那个什么都不在乎的史蒂夫。
And it's taken me, what, twenty six odd years to figure this out, but the best version of Steve is the Steve that just doesn't give a fuck.
就是那个做自己、努力变得更好，但也承认自己在很多方面很糟糕的史蒂夫。
It's it's the Steve that just does him and tries to be be better, but also admits that he's crap at a lot
在很多事情上，甚至几乎所有事情上。
of things and most things.
所以，对，这就是我在那篇日记里想说的全部。
So, yeah, that's all I've got to say on that diary entry.
好的。
Okay.
所以，这是我日记里一个很有意思的点。
So this is an interesting point in my diary.
我刚写了，我需要学会多说对不起。
I've just written, I need to learn to say sorry more.
这是从哪来的？
Where does this come from?
事情是这样的。
Here's the thing.
当我们
When we
搞砸了，伤害了别人，有一种强大甚至神奇的方法可以帮助修复局面。
mess up and we hurt people, there's a powerful, almost magical way to help to repair the situation.
完全免费。
It's completely free.
只需要一秒钟，任何人都能做到。
It takes one second, and anyone can do
是的。
it.
说声对不起。
Say, I'm sorry.
听起来很简单，但如果你更在乎自己的面子，而不是在乎别人、别的事，或者你造成的伤害，那几乎就不可能做到。
It sounds so simple, but it's almost impossible if you care about your ego more than you care about anybody else or anything else or the hurt you might have done or the damage you've done.
在这方面，我简直就是个罪人。
And I have been a criminal when it comes to this.
我真的很内疚，因为有时候我特别固执，你知道吗。
I have been so guilty because at times, I'm such an incredibly stubborn person at times, you know.
我不是那种喜欢承认错误的人，但有时候我确实错了。
I'm someone that doesn't always like being being wrong, and sometimes I'm wrong.
当我判断情况时，我会带着偏见，总想赢。
And when I judge the situation, I judge it from a bias perspective where I want to win.
我慢慢明白了，尤其是在过去十二个月里，多说对不起，即使你没错，也有一种解放心灵的重要价值。
And I've I've come to learn, especially over the last twelve months, the the the liberating important value of saying sorry more even when you're not wrong.
你道歉只是因为你的行为让别人感觉不好。
You're just saying sorry because of the way you've made someone feel.
而且这样做的人并不多。
And not enough people do this.
我觉得很多人一辈子都在追求赢，结果却破坏了重要的东西和关系，最后反而输了，因为他们放不下自己的自尊心，自尊心变得比什么都重要。
And I think they'll go through their lives damaging important things, relationships, you know, in the pursuit of winning, but ultimately lose because they can't detach themselves from their ego, and their ego becomes more important than anything else.
我自己也常常说对不起。
I'm a victim of I'm sorry.
我刚刚就说了。
I I do this I just said it.
我刚刚说了对不起。
I just said I'm sorry.
我比很多人都更常说对不起。
I do this more than a lot of people.
所以今年，我真的想多练习说对不起。
So I think this year, I really want to focus on making sure that I say sorry more often.
即使有时候我并没有做错什么，没什么好道歉的。
And even when I'm not I have nothing to be sorry for.
只是为让你有那样的感受而道歉。
Just being sorry for how I've made you feel.
那不是我的本意。
That wasn't my intention.
既然我们聊到了这两个词，我觉得还有另外两个词也非常重要，而且我也说得不够多。
And while I'm here and we're talking about two words, the other two words that I think are just incredibly important to say, which again, I do not say enough.
同样，完全免费，却对人际关系和身边的人产生巨大的影响。
Again, completely free can have a tremendous impact on relationships and people around you.
事实上，这两个词能让你在生活中得到更多你喜爱的东西。
In fact, these two words get you more things in your life that you will love.
这两个词就是“谢谢”。
And the words are thank you.
表达感激，尤其是当你处于管理或领导职位时，非常重要，因为它能激发周围人带来更多值得感激的事情。
An expression of gratitude, especially when you're 're in a sort of a management position or a director position, is so important because it begets more things to be thankful about from people around you.
但在生活中，如果你能对更多事情心怀感激，你的心态就会变得更加感恩。
But in life in general, if you can be thankful for more things, your perspective becomes more grateful.
所以即使你和别人经历同样的事情，如果你有更感恩的心态，就会觉得自己的生活更好，得到的更多，经历也更美好。
So even if you go through the same things as everybody else, if you have a more grateful perspective, it will feel like your life has been better, you've got more, and you've had better times.
所以感恩作为一种心态转变，我觉得从多感恩、多说谢谢开始。
So gratitude as a perspective change, I think starts with being thankful more and saying thank you more often.
这就是我的一点小感慨。
That's my little little rant.
所以这两个词，我希望每个听众都能更多地融入自己的生活。
So those two words, I hope everybody listening can do more to bring into their lives more.
对不起和谢谢。
I'm sorry and thank you.
让我换个话题，咱们聊聊生意吧。
Let me just do a do a left turn, and let's talk about business for a second.
在第一季播客里，我告诉过你们我要飞去美国，把生活搬到那里，去拓展那边的业务。
So in season one of the podcast, I told you that I was flying to America, and I was moving my life to America to try and grow the business there.
事实是这样的。
Here's the truth.
对吧？
Okay?
我也不确定这话能不能说，但你知道，这就是这个播客的意义所在。
And I'm not sure if I'm allowed to say this, but, you know, this is what this podcast is all all about.
我经常因为在这个播客上说的一些话惹上麻烦，然后我就道歉。
I get in trouble so much for things I say on this podcast, and I just apologize.
我有时候得跟家人道歉，跟朋友道歉。
I've had to apologize to, you know, family at times, to friends.
我还得经常跟另一半道歉，因为我每期播客最后都会非常个人化、非常坦诚地总结一下我目前的感情状况。
I have to apologize to romantic partners all the time because all of my podcasts end in a very personal, honest recap of how my relationships are going currently.
这总是让我惹上麻烦，今天肯定也不例外，但管他呢，咱们开始吧。
That always gets me in trouble, and I'm sure it will today, but here we fucking go.
但我想聊聊生意。
But I want to talk about business.
我搬到美国是为了帮助那里的业务发展。
I moved to The US to help grow the business there.
在美国的第一年，我们失败了。
In our first year in The US, we failed.
事实就是这样，对吧？
Just the facts, right?
我们没有任何进展。
We didn't get any traction.
我们不够认真。
We weren't serious.
我们投入不够。
We didn't invest enough.
对派去那边的人支持也不够。
Didn't provide enough support to the guys that we'd sent there.
我们失败了。
We failed.
第二年有进步，但不算太好。
Year two, progress, but not great.
我觉得第二年也算失败，因为亏损挺大的，对吧？
I'd consider year two a failure as well because the losses were significant, right?
第三年，我大概三月份的时候飞过去了一趟。
Year three, we I flew out there in about March time.
那时候团队已经发展得很不错了。
The team had gotten to a point where it was really looking good.
在讲这个之前，我得先说明，所有的功劳都要归给团队。
And I have to, just before I go into this, I have to give all of the credit to the team.
我飞过去并不是今年业务做得这么好的原因。
Me flying out there really wasn't the reason why this business did so well this year.
真正的原因是团队。
It was because of the team.
我这么说并不是在谦虚，因为我不是在说“哎呀，随便啦”。
And that isn't a humble thing I'm saying because I'm saying, yeah, whatever.
这就是事实。
That is just the truth.
对吧？
Okay?
所以，这才是关键。
So that's that's the important thing.
我三月份飞过去的。
I flew out there in March.
我们真的开始大干了一场。
We really got going.
我们搬进了曼哈顿市中心一个大的新办公室，离开了共享办公和WeWork，那种地方有时候让我觉得特别压抑，然后我们搬进了全新的办公室，全力以赴。
We moved into a big new office space in the middle of Manhattan, out of coworking and WeWork, which I fucking find very claustrophobic at times, and into our brand new office space, and we went for it.
团队也扩大了，现在大概有30个人。我们2018年年初的目标是让公司收入一年增长大约十倍。
Grew the team, we're now about 30 people, And our objective when we started 2018 was to grow the business's revenues by about a thousand percent in one year.
我非常高兴，也为团队感到骄傲，可以说美国团队今年做到了。
And I'm very happy and very proud of the team to say that the US team did that this year.
他们把业务增长了大约十倍。
They grew the business by about a thousand percent.
正因为如此，那边的事情开始变得认真起来了。
And because of that, things are getting serious out there.
我简直兴奋得不得了。
And I couldn't be more excited.
一想到那边的挑战和业务的增长，我就浑身充满干劲，我太信任那些人了。
I've I am full of just energy when I think about the the challenge out there and the growth of the business, and I believe in those people so fucking much.
我信任那个团队里的每一个人。
I believe in every single member of that team.
今年，我们任命了Social Chain美国区的新董事总经理，这样我就有更多时间去做其他事情，从更全球化的角度来思考业务。
And this year, we appointed a new managing director of the Social Chain USA, which gives me more time to do other things and think about the business from a more global perspective.
一个叫Oliver Yonchev的人，他是我们
A guy called Oliver Yonchev, who was one
真正的核心成员之一，在
of our our real a players in
英国那边。
The UK.
奥利弗对我说他想要一个挑战。
Oliver turned to me and said he wants a a challenge.
他说他想去美国，申请一个领导职位。
He said he wants to to go to America and apply for a job in a leadership role.
我说我正在找一位总经理。
I said I was looking for a managing director.
他和另外几个人一起参加了面试，他表现得非常出色。
He interviewed among with a couple of others, and he he passed with flying colors.
所以奥利弗现在把生活从谢菲尔德搬到了纽约。
So Oliver now has moved his life from Sheffield to New York City.
而且，听我说。
And it's it's listen.
这听起来像是每个人的梦想成真，但确实很艰难。
It sounds like everybody's dream come true, but it is tough.
奥利弗，如果你在听的话，伙计，你会经历很多艰难的事情。
And, Oliver, don't if you're listening, mate, but you're gonna go through a lot of tough things.
我相信你心里清楚。
I'm sure you're aware.
但从个人层面来说，你会感到孤独的。
But on personal on a personal level, there'll be you know, you'll feel isolated.
大城市嘛。
Big old city.
你知道的，目前那边还没有朋友。
You know, no friends there thus far.
所以你会觉得孤立无援。
So you'll feel isolated.
你可能会很想你的女朋友。
You you might miss your girlfriend a lot.
我敢肯定。
I'm sure
你肯定会。
you will.
但是，天哪，这一切值得吗？
But, oh my god, will it be worth it?
所以这就是
So that's what that's what
我们在美国挑战中的现状，我在第一季里讲了很多。
where we are with The US challenge, which I talked a lot about in season one.
英国业务，蓬勃发展。
The UK business, boom.
太棒了。
Tremendous.
多么辉煌的一年啊。
What a brilliant, brilliant year.
团队的表现，我都不知道该怎么说了。
The team have just been I don't know.
英国业务的利润增长了大约600%，我为团队和他们所取得的成就感到无比自豪。
We the the profits of The UK business grew by something like 600%, and I I couldn't be prouder of the team and what they've done.
据我现在了解，英国业务甚至已经是第一了，或者可能是第二，但我觉得是第一。
The UK business, from what I understand now, is even the number one, or maybe it's number two, but I think it's number one.
就为了这个播客和吹牛的份上，咱们就说是第一吧。
Let's just say it's number one for the sake of this podcast and for the sake of bragging.
我觉得它现在已经是全国第一的社交营销机构了。
I think it's now the number one social marketing agency in the country.
如果有人想核实这个，尽管私信我。
Someone feel free to fact check me on that and just DM me.
但我相信从收入来看是这样的。
But I believe it is in terms of revenue.
所以我真的非常自豪。
And so I'm so immensely proud.
这就是一个年轻、与众不同的团队，颠覆了那些有几十年历史的大机构的故事。
It's the story of, you know, this young, different team that have disrupted decade old massive agencies.
而且我们都是一群辍学生。
And we're all a bunch of dropouts.
就连那些现在职位更高、经验更丰富的人，也和我们一样保持着那种颠覆性的思维，我真的无比自豪。
And even those that are now much more senior and experienced, they too are of the same disruptive mindset that we all are, and I just couldn't be prouder.
所以简单回顾一下业务进展，Social Chains 的爆发年是2018年，现在美国有了自己的总经理，英国也由自己的总经理 Katie Leeson 领导，顺便说一句，她有一个很棒的播客，叫《我不该说这个》，我最近还上过那期节目。
So just to recap on the business updates, social chains breakout year was 2018, and now that The US has its own Managing director, The UK is also led by its own managing director, Katie Leeson, who has an amazing podcast, by the way, called I Shouldn't Say This Butt, which I which I just featured on.
现在这些事都搞定了，我就有更多时间投入到我的内容、我的播客、我的视频博客，还有所有其他事情上。
Now that that's done, I now have more time to invest in my content, in my podcast, in my vlogs, in everything.
希望2019年能成为我个人品牌爆发的一年。
And hopefully, 2019 is the breakout year for the personal brand and for my personal brand.
我打算招两个新人来帮忙打理个人品牌相关的事情，确保我的所有内容都能保持一致，这样大家就不用等太久了。
Looking to bring on two new people to help with the personal brand initiatives, just to make sure that all of my content is consistent, so that all of you guys and girls don't have to wait.
也谢谢你们的耐心，因为你们给了我十二个月的时间来把美国业务建立起来，现在它已经处于最好的状态了。
And thank you for the patience because you've allowed me the the twelve months to build up our US business, and it couldn't be in a better place.
还有很多工作要做，
Lots lots of work to be
但一如既往，我只是非常感激我们做到了，你知道吗？
done as always, but I'm just very thankful that that we that we did it, you know?
我们做到了。
That we did it.
这么说有点奇怪。
Strange thing to say.
算了。
Anyway.
好的。
Okay.
我还在日记里记了一些小笔记。
So a few more little notes that I scribbled into my diary.
这些点之间没什么特别的联系，但既然写下来了，我就跟你们说说。
None of none of these points are particularly connected, but they're written here, so I'm gonna tell you.
我写的第一条是，别让那些关于生活应该如何发展的童话故事给你带来压力。
The first one I've just written, don't let the pressures from the fairy tales of how your life is meant to be going get you down.
每个人的节奏都不一样。
Everyone's timing is different.
我写这个是因为凌晨三点左右接到了一个非常让人不安和难过的电话，是一个孩子打来的，为了保护他的隐私，我就叫他约翰吧。
And the reason I wrote this is because I received a very disturbing and saddening call at about 3AM from a kid who I'm just gonna call John for for his own privacy.
这个孩子刚经历了人生的大起大落——他刚向女朋友求婚，结果被拒绝了，然后他摘下订婚戒指，扔进了湖里。
And this kid had just taken off he'd just proposed to his girlfriend, and he'd just taken off his engagement ring after she'd said no, and he'd thrown it into a lake.
他站在湖边，打电话告诉我他要自杀。
And he was stood by the lake, and he called me to tell me that he was going to kill himself.
他打算
He was going
跳进湖里。
to jump in the lake.
而这件事
And this
发生在凌晨三点。
was at 3AM in the morning.
我都记不清当时自己在世界哪个地方了。
I can't remember where I was where I was in the world.
但我立刻从床上跳起来，开始跟他聊。
But I immediately jumped up out of bed, I started chatting to him.
他跟我说的一句话，当时真的让我很触动，现在也还一直在我脑海里挥之不去，他说：我要自杀。
And one of the things he said to me, which really, really got to me at the time and still kind of plays on my mind today, is he said, I'm gonna kill myself.
我生活里没有一件事是顺利的。
Nothing in my life is going right.
我什么都没有，没什么值得骄傲的。
I don't have anything going for me.
我看着你的生活，史蒂夫，你什么都搞定了。
And I look at your life, Steve, and you have everything figured out.
我的天啊。
Oh my fucking god.
这孩子才22岁。
This guy is 22 years old.
就因为社交媒体，因为比较，我得说，是那种有毒的比较，他现在居然觉得自己不够好，想跳湖自杀。
And because of social media, because of comparison, toxic comparison, might I add, He's now considering throwing himself in a lake because he feels inadequate.
想到他看着我的生活，从外面觉得一切都完美，而这竟然也促成了他的这种想法，我真的，天哪。
And the thought that him looking at my life and thinking from the outside that it's all perfect has contributed to that was really, oh my god.
但如果这只是个别情况，我也不会说这些。
But I wouldn't be saying this if this was an isolated incident.
我的私信，特别是Instagram上的私信，我经常看，里面全是25岁以下的年轻人，他们不是在字面意义上自杀，而是在比喻意义上，因为自己还没达到那个程度，因为自己还不够有钱、不够成功，因为自己还没有所有答案，而其实没人他妈的有所有答案。
My DMs and my direct messages, specifically on Instagram, which I really check a lot, are full of young people who are literally under the age of 25, who are killing themselves, not in a literal sense, in a figurative sense, killing themselves because they aren't there yet, because they aren't super rich, super successful, because they haven't got all the answers, all the nobody has all the fucking answers.
我也没有所有答案。
I don't have all the answers.
我的生活并不完美。
My life isn't perfect.
你从外面看到我的生活，对吧，就是我有一件事还算顺利，就是我的事业，我的职业，你知道，我做的社交训练、生意，这些方面进展不错。
What you see from the outside, right, of my life is I've got one thing kind of going well, which is like my career and my my professional, you know, the professional side of what I do, social training, the business, that stuff's going well.
其他方面，你都比我强。
Everything else, you beat me on everything else.
你跟家人更亲近，这从科学角度来说可能比经营生意更重要，顺便说一句。
You're closer to your family, which is probably more important according to science than running a business, by the way.
你大概有女朋友吧。
You probably you had a girlfriend.
我是说，你求婚被拒了，但兄弟，我连一段感情都维持不了。
I mean, you proposed and she said no, but, mate, I can't even fucking hold down a relationship.
所以这方面你也赢我。
So you're beating me there as well.
你大概更会打理发型，把自己收拾得干干净净的。
You're probably better at getting your haircut and keeping yourself, like, trimmed and stuff like that.
你大概更会照顾自己。
You probably take better care of yourself.
你大概睡得比我还好。
You probably sleep better than I do.
我只有一件事拿得出手，就是我在网上炫耀的那件事。
I'm winning on one thing, and that's the thing that I dance about online.
所以别他妈焦虑，别以为我什么都搞定了，因为兄弟，没人搞得定。
So don't fucking sweat it and think I have everything figured out because, bro, no one does.
我还在拼命地摸索我生活中的大部分事情。
I'm still I'm desperately still trying to figure out most elements of my life.
对吧？
Right?
如果我让你觉得我很完美，或者其他人让你有这种感觉，那我很抱歉。
And I am sorry if I gave you the impression that I was perfect or if anybody else is doing that.
那都是扯淡。
It is bullshit.
扯淡。
Bullshit.
相信我。
Trust me.
没有人像Instagram上看起来那么成功，也没有人像滤镜里看起来那么漂亮。
Nobody is successful as Instagram makes them look, and nobody is as pretty as filters make them seem.
唯一值得比较的，唯一能让你的未来变得光明的比较，就是今天的你和昨天的你之间的比较。
The only worthwhile comparison, the only comparison that stands to make your future bright is the comparison of you today versus you yesterday.
比较是致命的，而且它带着巨大的讽刺，因为当你想要和别人比较、想要变得更好的时候，你反而会做一堆拖累自己的事情。
Comparison is deadly, and it holds such an immense irony because in the pursuit of comparing yourself to someone and therefore wanting to be better, you end up doing a bunch of shit that holds you back.
最后你会变得嫉妒。
You end up being jealous.
你会试图走捷径，但根本没有捷径。
You end up trying to take shortcuts, and there is no shortcuts.
对吧？
Right?
比较是有毒的，最终它会把你带到你不想去的地方。
Comparison is toxic, and it it ultimately ends up leading to you to the the one place you didn't want to be.
对吧？
Right?
那就是没有发挥你的全部潜力，没有成为最好的自己，诸如此类。
Which is not your full potential, not your best self, and all of those things.
请不要拿自己和别人的孩子比较，还有成年人，以及所有在听的人，拜托了。
Do not compare yourself to others' kids, please, and adults, and whoever's listening, please.
我求你了。
I beg you.
好。
Okay.
所以我在日记里写了下一条笔记，
So I've written in my diary the next note, which
就是还在琢磨
is just still trying to figure
这到底是怎么回事。
out what this is all about.
在播客的第一季里，你会感觉到我经历了一段旅程。
And in season one of the podcast, you would have felt me going on a bit of a journey.
你知道吗？
Do you know what?
我其实觉得，录制这个播客的第一季，光是逼着我在日记里写下来然后再说出来，就比我这辈子做过的任何事都让我更懂生活。
I actually think season one of recording this podcast taught me more about life just by having to write in my diary and then speak about it than anything else I've ever done.
你们和这个节目形式，还有这个播客，让我更接近理解我生命的意义和目的。
You guys and this format and this podcast helped me get closer to understanding the meaning of my life and the purpose of my life.
我基本上在这里写了，我还在努力弄清楚这一切到底是怎么回事，因为我已经接近了很多。
And I've basically written here that I'm still trying to figure out what that's all what it's all about because I've gotten a lot closer.
从前，18岁的史蒂夫，你们都知道，在日记里写道，他希望在25岁之前拥有几百万英镑和一辆路虎揽胜运动版。
Once upon a time, 18 year old Steve, as you guys all know, wrote in his diary that he wanted millions of pounds before he was 25 in a Range Rover Sport.
25岁的史蒂夫确实身价百万，也有一辆路虎揽胜运动版，对吧？
25 year old Steve had was worth millions and had a Range Rover Sport, right?
但当我达到那个目标后，我意识到，如果我一生都在追逐这些物质上的狗屁东西，我会过得非常非常悲惨。
Upon getting there, I realized that if I spent my whole life chasing this material bullshit, I would live a very, very miserable existence.
有一位叫蒂姆·凯瑟的教授做了一项非常重要、非常重要的研究，他的研究科学地证明了，而且在另外21项研究中也得到了证实，那些一生都在看重外在事物、并且为了外在原因而做事的人——基本上就是外在原因——
And there's this great, great important study done by a professor called Tim Kesser, which scientifically proves in his study, but then in 21 other studies, that people who go through life valuing extrinsic things and doing things for extrinsic reasons, which means external reasons basically.
比如为了打动女孩，为了看起来时髦，为了在Instagram上看起来好看，为了获得点赞，为了上床，所有这些事情，他们最终会更不快乐，更抑郁，还有其他一切。
So to impress a girl, to look fancy, to look good on Instagram, to get likes, to get laid, all of those things, they end up being less happy, more depressed and all and everything else.
对吧？
Right?
而那些因为内在原因做事的人，他们善良是因为他们想善良。
And people that do things for internal reasons, they are nice because they want to be nice.
他们弹钢琴是因为享受其中的乐趣，而不是为了泡妞或者赚钱。
They play piano because of the joy of it, not because they're trying to get laid or paid.
他们见家人、陪家人，是因为他们爱家人。
They see their family and spend time with their family because they love their family.
他们去散步是因为热爱大自然，而不是出于任何外在原因或外在动机。
They go for walks because they love nature, not because of any external reasons or for external motives.
科学表明，这些人最快乐，抑郁最少，焦虑最少，而且体验到更多的喜悦。
Science shows those people are the most happiest, the less depressed, the less anxious, and they experience more joy.
所以这个播客对我来说，也是一段自我探索的旅程，你听着，希望如此，或者不希望，我在弄清楚生活的意义是什么。
So this podcast doubles up for me as a journey of me figuring out alone, with you listening, hopefully, or hopefully not, what life is all about.
而我现在所处的位置，就在这里。
And where I am right now is here.
我知道金钱不是生活的全部。
I know that money isn't life.
我知道钱不会让我更快乐。
I know that money won't make me happier.
我真正知道的是，用我的钱去帮助朋友、家人和有需要的人，确实让我感到深深的快乐。
What I do know is that using my money to help friends, family, people in need does make me deeply happy.
这让我有一种深深的满足感，而且，你知道，对我来说很有成就感。
It gives me a deep sense of being fulfilled and, know, it's rewarding for me.
所以对我来说，谈到钱，我现在明白的不是要攒更多的钱，或者炫耀你有多少钱。
So for me, when it comes to money, what I now know is it's not about collecting more money or showing off how much money you have.
而是你怎么用它。
It's how you use it.
如果你用对了方式，钱真的能给你的生活带来一种很有意义的回报。
And if you use it in the right way, money really can have a really sort of rewarding impact on your life.
第二件事就是总体上做好事。
The second thing is just about doing good in general.
出于某种我还没搞明白的奇怪原因，几乎没有比帮助别人更有成就感的事了。
For some bizarre reason, which I'm yet to understand, there is very few things that are as rewarding as helping others.
这是每个人都说过的，但我一直没明白。
And this is something everyone's always said, but I've never understood.
但我在工作中、生活中最大的乐趣，其实来自于帮助别人，不管是Social Chain刚来的实习生，还是在Instagram上给我发消息的人，或者其他什么人。
But most of the fun in my role, in my job, in my life comes from helping others, whether that's an intern that just started at Social Chain, whether it's someone that messages me on Instagram, or whatever it might be.
所以我也知道，这对我的未来非常重要。
And so I also know that that's hugely important for my future.
不管我未来做什么，不管是十年后还是二十年后，都会和这件事有关。
And whatever I end up doing in the future, whether it's ten years or twenty years time, it'll be linked to that.
其实，我确实有个商业想法。
And in fact, I do have a business idea.
我是在这个播客里告诉你这个想法，还是先等等再说？
Do I tell you about this business idea on this podcast or do I just wait?
我该怎么办？
What should I do?
我先不说了。
I'm going to hold off
这个商业想法先保密一下。
a little bit on this business idea.
我打算先不告诉你这个未来的商业想法。
I'm going hold off on telling you the business idea for the future.
但它和帮助别人有关，也和我今天讲的几件事有关。
But it's to do with helping people, it's to do with a few of the things I've described today.
其实它和心理健康也有很大的关系。
It's actually quite heavily linked to mental health as well.
我觉得，凭借我过去这些年学到的所有技能，这个想法非常合理。
And I just think that, you know, with all the skills I've learned over the last couple of whatever, whatever period of time, it makes a lot of sense.
有趣的是，在我人生的每个阶段，我都准确预测了自己职业上的下一步。
And the funny thing is, at all stages in my life, I've accurately predicted what my next step is professionally.
所以当我刚开始做Wallpark的时候，我就预测我的下一个事业会是在营销领域。
And so when I first started Wallpark, I predicted that my next business would be in marketing.
就像我对Dom说的——他现在是我的商业伙伴——我说我的下一个事业会在营销领域。
As I said to Dom, who's now my business partner, said I my next business will be in marketing.
而现在我的预测是，我的下一个事业会是在心理健康领域。
And then now my prediction is that my next business will be in the mental health arena.
我就说到这儿。
That's all I'm saying.
要不要我再多说点？
Should I tell you more?
就到这里吧。
Let's leave it at that.
好的。
Okay.
所以我所有的播客都是以同样的方式结束的，就是聊我的感情生活。
So all of my podcasts end the same way, which is me talking about my relationships.
我在日记里写了，感情状况一团糟。
In my diary, I've written relationship situation is pretty fucked.
这周我几乎所有的笔记里都带着脏话。
Almost all of my notes this week have swear words in it.
如果你们不喜欢，我先道个歉。
I do apologize if that's if you don't
不喜欢我说脏话。
like me swearing.
我就是，我脑子里就是这么说话的，你懂吗？
I just, it's just how I speak in my head, you know?
这对我来说不是什么新鲜事，
Why this is not new news
但有一件事我慢慢明白了，
to me, but one of the things I've come
从某些人那里，某些，好吧。
to learn from a certain people, certain okay.
有个女孩告诉我，我有时候在情感上真的不在状态。
A certain girl telling me is that I'm really not emotionally there sometimes.
而且我真的很担心，我自己的自私，还有我那种情感上的空缺，是这么说的吗？
And I do really, really worry that my own selfishness and my own sort of, like, emotional vacancy is that a word?
我情感上是空白的。
I'm emotionally vacant.
而且我那种不停想要创业的欲望，会让我失去一段有意义的关系带来的幸福，也会失去和家人以及其他人的有意义的关系，但更多是在恋爱方面。
And my relentless desire to build a business will cost me the happiness of a meaningful relationship, and meaningful relationships with family and others as well, but more so in a romantic sense.
我非常希望，当我处于和某人在一起或者恋爱关系中的时候，我能更妥协一点，情感上更投入，因为不管什么原因，我有点像个冷酷的混蛋。
I so desperately hope that when I get into the situation where I'm with somebody or in a relationship, whatever, I can be more compromising and emotionally there because I, for whatever reason, I'm a bit of a cold bastard.
就像，我有点像个冰王。
Like, I am a bit of a bit of a bit of an ice king.
你知道，我的心就像，我很难表达感情，也很难去关心别人。
You know, my heart is made of it's it's like I struggle with affection, and I struggle to care.
我非常无情，而且太专注于我生活中的这一个方面，那就是事业和成功，以至于我在其他方面很糟糕，你知道的。
I'm very ruthless, and I'm too focused on this one element of my life, which is business and and being successful that I am crap at, you know.
我不知道。
I don't know.
这真的很难。
It's just really hard.
你知道吗？
You know?
人生就是不能什么都拥有。
You just can't have it all in life.
你不可能在每件事上都做到最好。
You can't be you can't be the best at everything.
你不可能同时是最优秀的年轻创业者、最会做婚纱的人、最会做播客的人、最会经营感情的人、最顾家的人。
You can't be the best at being a young entrepreneur, the best at making, I don't know, making wedding dresses, the best at podcasting, the best at relationships, the best at family, all at the same time.
所以我觉得确实需要有所牺牲，但我读过的所有科学和研究都告诉我，人际关系和友谊是幸福的重要组成部分，而这一切都是为了幸福。
So I do feel that there's an element of sacrifice, but I just don't all of the science and everything worth, you know, worth reading tells me that relationships and friendships are such an integral part of being happy, And all of this is about happiness.
别搞错了。
Let's not get it fucking twisted.
这是一段追求幸福的旅程。
This is the journey of happiness.
我觉得这就是为什么我最喜欢的电影是《当幸福来敲门》，因为这就是生活的全部意义。
I think that's why my favorite film is The Pursuit of Happiness because that's what life is all about.
这就是对幸福的追求。
It's the pursuit of happiness.
而且我们每个人对幸福如何到来都有不同的看法。
And we all have different opinions about how happiness arrives.
有些人觉得是买宾利和兰博基尼。
Some of us think it's by buying Bentleys and Lamborghinis.
有些人觉得是帮助动物。
Some of us think it's by helping animals.
有些人觉得是，你知道的，事实上我们的幸福以不同的方式到来，但有一些基本的人类需求会让我们感到幸福。
Some of us think it's you know, and the truth is our happiness comes in different ways, but there are fundamental human things that will make us happy.
其中一条，毫无疑问，就是其他人。
And one of those, unarguably, undoubtedly, is other human beings.
是恋爱关系。
It's romantic relationships.
是家人的爱。
It's the love of family.
所以如果这一切都是为了追求幸福，如果这就是我在这里做的事情，那么毫无疑问，我必须把恋爱关系、家庭和所有这些事情放在首位。
And so if this is all about the pursuit of happiness, if this is what I'm doing here, then surely, surely, I have to prioritize romantic relationships, family, and all those things.
这是我长期以来一直纠结的事情。
It's just something that I've struggled with for the longest time.
如果你们听过播客的第一季，你们会感受到我在这方面的挣扎。
And if you guys have listened to the season one of the podcast, you will feel my struggles with this.
我现在是单身。
I'm single right now.
我猜，算是和某个人断断续续地聊着。
I am, I guess, like, loosely speaking to somebody on and off.
我现在经常被说
I'm getting getting told off
被说有点
a lot at the moment for being a bit of
混蛋，因为不够体贴，不理解他们的感受，也不怎么说话。
a jackass when it comes to being considerate and understanding how how they feel and just talking enough.
不过除此之外，我还是单身，而且我也不太想一直单身。
But other than that, I'm I'm single, and I don't necessarily want to be single either.
我确实觉得，当你在一段感情里，和对方很亲近，住得也近，每天都能见面，生活是很好的。
I do think life is great when you're in a relationship and you're close to somebody and all these things, and they live close, and you see them every day and all these things.
只是现在的条件不允许这样。
It's just circumstance doesn't allow that at the moment.
算了。
Anyway.
之前，你知道现在几点了吗？
Before, you know, what time is it now?
现在是凌晨四点半，我大概已经录了快一个小时了，再过两个半小时我就得起床了。
It's 04:29, so I must have been recording this for about an hour, and I've got to be up in about two and a half hours.
所以我还是去睡觉吧。
So let me get to bed.
不过，听我说，非常感谢你们收听这个播客。
But listen, thank you so much for listening to the podcast.
这对我来说真的意义重大。
It does mean the world to me.
和往常一样，这就像一种疗愈。
As always, this is therapy.
录完这一集之后，我真不明白自己为什么不更频繁地做这件事。
And now that I've recorded this episode, I just can't understand why I don't do this more often.
这对我太好了。
It's so good for me.
帮我个大忙，拜托拜托，真的拜托了。
Do me a massive favor, pretty please, pretty please.
你能在播客商店或iTunes商店里给这个播客打个五星好评吗？或者在你听播客的任何地方也行。
Can you review the podcast in the podcast store, the iTunes store, five stars, please, or wherever else you listen to it?
如果你这么做了，请在评论里留下你的Instagram名字或账号。
And if you do, please just leave your Instagram name or handle in the review.
当我浏览的时候，我会给那些已经做了并给了五星好评的人发消息。
And when I go through, I will message a bunch of you that have done it, that have reviewed it five stars.
私下给我发消息聊聊这个播客，或者在推特上告诉我你的想法，也请分享出去。
Message me privately about the podcast, tweet me your thoughts, please share it online.
每一个给我发消息谈论这期节目或这个播客的人，我都会回复，我保证。
Every single person that messages me about this episode, about the podcast in general, I will reply to, I promise you.
我非常高兴能有这样的形式和媒介来和你交流。
And I'm so deeply happy to have this this format, this medium of communicating with you back.
我迫不及待想让你听到这个系列。
And I can't wait for you to hear this series.
我们有一些很棒的嘉宾和一些很精彩的时刻，这些都是我在世界各地录制的。
We have some amazing guests and some amazing moments that I've that I've recorded all around the world.
我会继续做单人播客。
I'll continue to do the solo podcast.
我打算的形式是，自己录一期，然后和嘉宾录一期，再自己录一期，再和嘉宾录一期。
The format I'm thinking is of doing one on my own and then doing one with a guest, then one of my own, then one with a guest.
你觉得这样怎么样？告诉我你的想法。
Let me know what you think of that.
私下给我发消息吧。
Message me privately.
不过再次感谢你的收听。
But thanks again for tuning in.
我们很快回来，确切地说，下周，带来第二集，这一集已经录制好了，嘉宾非常棒，我迫不及待想和你分享。
We'll be back soon next week next week, to be precise, with episode two, which has already been recorded with an amazing guest, and I can't wait to share that with you.
所以再次感谢。
So thanks again.
请给个好评吧。
Please review it.
谢谢。
Thanks.
分享出去吧。
Share it.
爱你们。
Love you.
拜拜。
Bye bye.
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