E23：我是奴隶，我的恐惧与治疗

凌晨4点16分。

04:16AM.

周日晚上，整个早上，在曼哈顿我办公室的储物柜里，我们存放道具和客户产品的地方。

Sunday night, all morning, in the cupboard we keep props and client products in in my office here in Manhattan, New York.

我整晚没睡，一直在工作、思考、处理事情，现在头脑很清醒。

I've been up all night working, thinking, getting things done, and my mind is clear.

所以这意味着一件事，而且只有一件事。

So that means one thing and one thing only.

是时候

It's time

开始《CEO的日记》了。

for The Diary of a CEO.

这周我们有很多要聊的，所以省去冗长的开场白。

We've got a lot to talk about this week, so forget the long intro.

我直接进入正题。

I'm gonna get straight into it.

话不多说，这就是《CEO的日记》

Without further ado, this is The Diary of

CEO的日记。

a CEO.

我是史蒂文·巴特利特。

I'm Steven Bartlett.

我希望没有人在听。

I hope nobody is listening.

但如果你在听，请保密。

But if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

你是谁的奴隶？

Who are you a slave to?

让我

Let me

带你回到过去。

take you back a second.

对你们

For you

这些听过这个播客一段时间的朋友，你们会记得我25岁时遇到的那个困境。

guys that have listened to this podcast for some time, you'll remember this predicament I found myself in at the age of 25.

我回看了自己18岁时的日记，里面写着，我想要一辆路虎作为我的第一辆车。

I looked back at my diary from 18 years old, and in my diary I'd written, I wanted a Range Rover to be my first car.

我想在25岁之前赚到一百万英镑，还有那些特别肤浅、虚荣的东西，对吧？

I wanted a million quid before I was 25 and all of these kind of like very superficial like vanity things, right?

而当我真的把路虎作为第一辆车，拥有了财富带来的奢华和那些东西的时候，这个问题就出现在我脑海里了。

And in that moment when I had a Range Rover as my first car and I had the luxuries of wealth and those kinds of things, this question appeared in my mind.

这他妈的到底有什么意义？

What's the fucking point?

我觉得，某种程度上，从那时起我就一直被这个问题困扰着。

And I think, in some ways, I've been haunted by that question ever since then.

小时候，当你一无所有，18岁的你想着，你知道，钱是童年所有问题的根源，是父母互相吼叫的原因，我就执着于一个想法，觉得钱能解决所有问题。

As a kid when you have nothing and you're an 18 year old that thinks that, you know, money caused all the problems in your childhood and it was the reason why your parents screamed at each other, I was obsessed with this idea that money could solve the problems.

然后，你知道，等我真的有了钱，我意识到钱并不能带来更多的快乐，而且我做这些事也不是为了钱。

And upon, you know, getting money, I realized that money didn't scale happiness, and I wasn't really doing this for money.

所以在我二十五六岁的时候，我问自己，我他妈到底为什么要做这些？

So at the age of 25, 26, I've asked myself, why the fuck am I doing this?

而就在上周，我在日记里写的是，我到底是谁的

And in this last week, what I wrote in my diary is who the fuck am I

奴隶？

a slave to?

这是我的

Here's my kind

一些大致想法。

of general thoughts.

我把我的生活都献给了工作。

I give my life to my work.

对吧？

Right?

我现在在办公室，妈的，现在是周日晚上凌晨四点二十左右。

I'm in the office at fucking it's now 04:20 odd AM in the morning on Sunday night.

我一直没睡好。

I haven't slept properly.

我全身心投入我正在做的这件事。

I'm pouring my heart into this thing that I'm doing.

为什么？

Why?

我觉得这是最重要的问题。

I think this is the most important question.

在过去的十二个月里，我开始明白为什么了。

And in the last twelve months, I've started to understand why.

我开始明白我是个奴隶，但我是奴隶，

I've started to understand that I am a slave, but I'm a slave

是某种东西的奴隶。

to something.

而且我觉得每一个正在听这个的人，当你

And I think every single person listening to this, when you

早上九点起床，或者不管几点起来，然后上车去上班，或者去健身房，或者去任何地方，心里一定要清清楚楚地知道，你被什么东西奴役着。

get up at 9AM in the morning or whenever you get up and you get in your car and you drive to work or you drive to the gym or wherever you're going, it's so important for you to have front and center in your mind what you're a slave to.

有些人觉得我们被Instagram的点赞奴役着。

Some of us think that we're a slave to Instagram likes.

有些人觉得我们被

Some of us think we're a

赞美奴役着。

slave to compliments.

有些人觉得我们被房东奴役着。

Some of us think we're a slave to our landlord.

有些人

Some of

只是被“熬到明天、勉强过下去”奴役着。

us are a slave to just getting to tomorrow and getting by.

我们有些人被这种忙碌的循环所束缚。

Some of us are a slave to the hamster wheel.

对吧？

Right?

在我看来，被这些东西束缚都是很糟糕、很痛苦的事。

And all of these things to me are terrible, miserable things to be a slave to.

确实非常糟糕。

They really, really are.

你得被正确的事情所束缚。

You've got to be a slave to the right thing.

然后我开始问自己，大概在过去几周里，我对自己说，史蒂文，你得明确你到底被什么束缚着。

And I started to ask myself, I guess, over the last, like, couple of weeks, like, define to yourself, Steven, exactly what it is you're a slave to.

你为什么要做你现在做的所有这些事情？

Why are you doing all these things that you're doing?

为什么你要逼自己前进，而你已经有了足够的东西、朋友和其他一切，完全可以舒舒服服地放松下来？

What why are you driving yourself forward when you've really got enough stuff and friends and whatever else to be completely comfortable and just chill?

然后，这就是我写下的答案。

And here's here's the answer that I wrote

写进了我的日记里。

into my diary.

我写道，我受困于自己的悼词。

I wrote, I'm a slave to my own eulogy.

听起来有点怪，

Sounds like a fucking weird

但确实如此。

thing to say.

对某些人来说，这可能等同于我的遗产，但我确实受困于自己的悼词。

And another word for this might be to some people, like, to my own legacy, but I am a slave to my own fucking eulogy.

我根本不在乎。

I don't give a fuck.

说实话。

I'm gonna be honest.

对吧？

Right?

我会想到自己的死亡。

I think about my death.

听起来真的挺怪的。

That sounds really fucking weird.

也许我该换个说法。

Maybe I should have changed that.

我会想到自己的死亡。

I think about my death.

对吧？

Right?

而且我有时候会想，这话说起来挺奇怪的，但这正是这个播客的全部意义所在。

And I think about sometimes, this is such a strange thing to say, but this is the whole point of this podcast.

我会想，在我的葬礼上，人们会说什么。

I think about what people are gonna say at my funeral.

这就是我说的，被自己的悼词所奴役。

And that's what I mean by being a slave to my own eulogy.

可能有些朋友不知道，悼词基本上就是你死后别人念的那篇演讲。

For you guys that don't know, a eulogy is basically the speech they give when you're dead.

而我，就是被那篇悼词里会写下的东西所束缚，等我死后，那篇悼词会怎么写，我就被怎么定义。

And I'm a slave to that legacy of what will be written in that eulogy when I when I die.

对吧？

Right?

我想成为什么样的人，

What do I want to be in

在那篇悼词里？

that eulogy?

我希望我的悼词能说，我是一个给予了很多的人，总是付出多于索取，让别人的生活和这个世界变得更美好、更有成效、更快乐，因为我来过。

I want my eulogy to say that I was somebody who gave to so many other people, that always gave more than he took, that made other people's lives in the world a better, more productive, overall happier place because I was here.

我希望我的悼词里，能有很多和我一样的孩子，他们也都是很棒的人。

I want my eulogy to to be full of kids that are also cut in the same cloth and are great people as well.

我希望我的悼词能提到，我让数千万人变得更快乐，更懂得关注正确的事情，而不是错误的事情，关注内在的本质，那些真正重要的东西，对吧？

I want my eulogy to to talk about how I made tens of millions of people happier and more in touch with the right things and not the wrong things, the intrinsic things, the things that really count, right?

我希望我的悼词能说，我让数千万人相信自己。

I want my eulogy to say that I made tens of millions of people believe in themselves.

我还希望我的悼词能说，我建立了一个非常非常伟大的企业、公司和组织，它震撼了世界，重新构想了世界，让世界在各方面都变得更好。

I also want my eulogy to say that I built a great, great business and company and organization that shook the world, reimagined the world, and made the world better in every way.

我想这就是为什么我如此关心社交链的文化，因为我意识到我们不仅仅是一家公司。

I think that's why I care so much about the culture of social chain, because I realized that we're more than a company.

通过建立一种尽可能关心人的文化，我们正在激励数百家甚至数千家其他公司改善他们对待员工的方式。

By setting a culture where we try and care about people as much as we possibly can, we're inspiring hundreds and in some cases thousands of other companies to improve the way they treat their people.

我认为这也是社交链在不知不觉中对世界产生非常积极影响的另一种方式。

And I think that's another way that social chain is having a very like, impositive impact on the world without really knowing it.

我还被什么

What else am I

所束缚呢？

a slave to?

我受制于我的家庭。

I'm a slave to my family.

两个家庭。

Two families.

我现在拥有的家庭，我的直系亲属，不管什么原因，我真的不太

The family I have right now, my immediate family, for whatever reason, I don't really

认识我的叔叔阿姨，除了我的兄弟姐妹和父母之外，其他人我都不太熟。

know my uncles and my aunties and anybody other than my brothers and sisters and my mom and dad.

但我受制于他们。

But I'm a slave to them.

对吧？

Right?

我受制于我哥哥刚出生的宝宝亚历山德拉，因为我现在做的工作能对她的生活产生积极影响。

I'm a slave to my brother's newborn baby, Alessandra, because the work I do now can positively impact her life.

我从中获得巨大的……我想我在上一期播客里聊过这个。

I get tremendous, and I think I talked about this last podcast.

我的所有快乐，对吧，都来自于给她买点东西，或者给我哥一张500、1000英镑的亚马逊礼品卡，让他能给她买玩具、买尿布之类的。

I get all of my enjoyment, right, out of buying her something, about out of giving my brother an Amazon voucher for 500, £1,000 where he can buy toys for her and buy nappies and those kinds of things.

这笔开销对我来说，比我给自己买任何东西都更有价值。

That expense is worth more to me than anything I buy for myself.

对吧？

Right?

所以我是我家庭的奴隶，无论是现在的家庭，还是未来的家庭。

So I'm a slave to my family, my current family, but also my future family.

那些我从未见过的家人。

The family I have never ever met.

那些我会深深爱上的孩子，还有我会爱得超乎想象的老婆。

The kids that I'm going to fall in love with head over heels and my wife that I will love more than I can even imagine.

我是这些人的奴隶。

I'm a slave to these people.

每天我起床、去上班、拼命工作，都是为了那些我还没见过但深爱的未来孩子，我希望他们的人生拥有所有的自由、可能性、尽可能多的快乐，而且不用为钱发愁。

And every day that I get up and I go to work and I slog away, I'm doing it because those future kids that I love that I've never met yet, I want them to have all of the freedoms and the possibilities and as much happiness and no money worries in their lives.

我是自己自由的奴隶。

I'm a slave to my own freedom.

我努力工作，因为我要捍卫自己的自由。

I work hard because defending my own freedom.

我想建立一个让我能自由选择的生活。

I want to build a life where I'm free to choose.

我这辈子一直痴迷于自由选择这个想法，就是想去哪儿就去哪儿，想什么时候去就什么时候去，到了那儿想做什么就做什么。

My whole life I've been obsessed with this idea of freedom of choice, and that choice is to go where I want to go, when I want to go there, and do what I want to do when I'm there.

不管是自私一点，去度假看看别的地方，还是无私一点，能尽可能多地创作内容，帮助尽可能多的人，对吧？

Whether that's a selfish thing of going on holiday and seeing other places or it's a selfless thing of being able to produce as much content as I desire and help as much people as I possibly can touch, right?

所有这些都归结为一种自由和资源，我每天都在努力增加它们，而我就是那个的奴隶。

And all those things come down to a level of freedom and resource that I I fight every single day to increase, and I'm a slave to that.

最后我想说，我不知道这是不是

And I think lastly, I don't know if this is

最后一点，但我希望我是自己幸福的奴隶。

a lastly, but I hope I'm a slave to my own happiness.

而且这种

And this kind

又回到了最初的那个点。

of comes back to the original point.

在当下很难判断，你到底是在为幸福而活，还是在追逐快感，还是在追逐错误的东西。

It's hard to know in the moment whether you are a slave to your happiness or whether you're chasing pleasure or whether you're chasing the wrong things.

但我内心深处最大的希望是，今天我付出的所有这些努力，最终会带来当下的幸福，也会带来

But my overall hope deep down in my heart is that today, the all this work that I'm putting in will culminate in happiness in this moment, but happiness in

未来的幸福。

my future.

所以我想问你的问题是，你付出的所有努力、你所有的抱负、你努力想成为的一切，你是在为谁而活？

And so I guess my question to you is all the work you put in, all the ambitions you have, and everything you're striving to become, who are you a slave for?

你被什么所束缚？

What are you a slave to?

你甚至能回答这个问题吗？

Can you even answer that question?

好的。

Okay.

我们换个话题吧。

Let's go in a different direction.

我刚在日记里写了“音乐作为情绪调节器”，让我解释一下。

I've just written in my diary music as a mood setter, and let me explain.

有一句话，我记得是我14岁时的足球教练对我说的，这句话在我心里记了很久，非常简单的一句话。

There's this expression which I think my football coach when I was 14 years old said to me, and it stuck with me for some time, a very, very simple expression.

就是“一开始就要定好基调”。

It's start as you mean to go on.

这句话原本是用在足球场上的，意思是比赛一开始就要强势，这样你就能震慑对手，并且保持这个节奏。

And I've taken that expression which was meant to apply to the football field as in start the game strong and therefore, you know, you'll intimidate your opponents and you'll keep at that tempo.

我在某种程度上把这句话用到了日常生活中。

And I've taken it into my daily routine in some respects.

我现在主动做的一件事，我之前也提过，就是早上用音乐来调节情绪，因为我觉得如果你早上醒来心情不好，出门后就会带着这种情绪过一整天，它会累积，引发更多问题，最后你这一周都会很糟糕，对吧？

So one of the things that I actively do now, which I've talked about before, is I mood set in the morning because I think if you wake up in a bad mood, you leave your house, you'll drag that attitude through the day, it'll compound and cause more problems and you'll end up having a shitty week, right?

所以我早上会调整心情，而音乐成了我调整心情时非常重要的工具。

So I mood set in the morning and music has become this incredibly important tool to help me mood set.

不过，我觉得事情是这样的。

However, here's what I think happens.

我们会用音乐来放大自己的情绪和感受。

We use music to amplify our emotions and how we're feeling.

比如说，如果你经历了心碎，有人伤害了你，我们就会去听阿黛尔的歌。

So for example, if you've gone through a heartbreak and someone's hurt you, we'll go to Adele.

对吧？

Right?

我们会听那些悲伤的歌，来唤起并放大那些感受。

And we'll listen to these sad songs to bring out and amplify those feelings.

所以如果我们早上醒来心情不好，我们自然不会去放那种特别欢快的音乐。

So if we wake up in a shitty mood, we don't put on really, really happy music naturally.

实际上，我们会默认选择那些让我们感觉更糟的音乐。

We actually default to music that will make us feel even shittier.

对吧？

Right?

因为音乐是情绪的放大器。

Because music is an amplifier of the emotions.

所以这就是我以前日常安排中犯的错误，而我是这样修复的。

So that's the mistake I made with my daily routine previously and here's how I fixed it.

我做的呢，就是创建了一个播放列表，让我感觉兴奋、开心、有动力，所有这些感觉，不管早上心情如何，我都会播放那个列表。

What I've done is I've created a playlist that makes me feel pumped up, happy, you know, motivated, all of these things and irrespective of how I feel in the morning, I hit that playlist.

然后在我洗澡的时候，刷牙的时候，出门之前，我会听完那个列表里的三四五首歌。

And while I'm in the shower, while I'm brushing my teeth, and before I leave the house, I finished those three or four or five songs on that playlist.

那个列表大概有70首歌，但我只听完其中的三四首。

Playlist is about 70 songs, but I finished three or four songs in that playlist.

这对我的心情影响巨大，简直难以言喻。

And it has a tremendous impact on my mood, unspeakable impact on my mood.

对我来说，音乐一直是让大脑进入正确状态、调整心情最有力的方式之一。

And music for me has been one of the most powerful ways to get my brain in the right state and to get my mood right.

我知道世界上很多顶尖的励志演说家都在提倡这个做法。

And I know a lot of the world's most sort of prolific motivational speakers are advocating this.

所以这也是我想分享给大家的一个心得。

And so it's just something I wanted to pass along.

别让你的大脑来决定听什么音乐。

Don't let your brain pick the music.

你的大脑会自动放大你当下的情绪。

Your brain will default to amplify your existing emotions.

提前把音乐设置好，早上起床直接播放，即使你不想听也照做。

Preset the music in your playlist and get up in the morning and go straight to it even if you're not feeling like it.

我怎么说都不够，早上起床时调整好心情，对我一天的影响实在太大了。

I can't I can't emphasize enough how much mood setting when I get out of bed in the morning has impacted my day.

在时间这么宝贵的日子里，用对状态度过每一天的每个小时，真的太重要了。

In a life where time is so hard to come by, it's so important that you use every hour of your day in the right state.

这正是调整心情带给我的效果，我强烈建议你也试试。

And that's exactly what mood setting has done for me, and I'd highly recommend you do it too.

哦，这一点非常重要。

Oh, this is a very important point.

其实我在这一点旁边没写任何笔记，所以我就即兴发挥一下。

I've actually written no notes next to this point, so I'm just gonna freestyle on it.

但我对这件事特别有热情，而且它太贴近当下，我只需要大声思考一下。

But I'm so passionate about this, and this is so current that I just need to think out loud.

我在日记里只写了：完美主义可能是阻碍我前进的最大因素。

All I've written in my diary is perfectionism might be the single biggest thing holding me back.

我知道你在想什么，这个概念很简单，但不是那样的。

And I know what you're thinking, very simple concept, but no.

所以让我来解释一下。

So let me explain this.

我该从哪里开始呢？

Where shall I start?

让我从我的个人品牌说起吧，因为你们应该能理解，毕竟你们是我制作的内容（包括这个播客）的接收方。

Let me start with my personal brand because it's something that you guys will kind of understand because you're on the receiving end of the content that I make, including this podcast.

过去两年里，我意识到不断产出更多内容这一点太重要了。

Over the last two years, I've realized that getting to a point where I'm producing more and more content is so important.

不过，任何和我一起工作的人，特别是我们个人品牌团队的人，都知道我在小事上特别较真，简直像个混蛋。

However, anybody that works with me, specifically in my personal brand team, will know that I'm such a stickler and such an asshole when it comes to minor things.

我对小细节的执着，比如帖子文案、Instagram引言的排版，还有这些琐碎的事情，导致我可能只产出了我本可以产出的十分之一，也就是10%的内容。

And my obsession over the small things, the copy on a post, how an Instagram quote looks, and all these minor things have meant that I probably produce a tenth, 10% of the content that I could produce.

在个人品牌这个领域，很多人都会告诉你，关键在于数量，要产出大量内容。

And in the game of personal brand, as many people will tell you, volume and producing a lot of content is key.

我没法大量产出，因为我在这些完美主义的小细节上太较真了。

I can't produce a lot because I'm an asshole when it comes to these minor perfectionist details.

我还从更大的层面思考了这个问题，把社会变革当作一门生意来看。

And I was thinking about this on a much sort of more grand scale about social change as a business.

我对社会变革的每一个细节都追求完美，这在某些方面，我觉得对social chain是极其有益的。

I am so obsessed with how social change should be in every detail, which in some respects has been, I think hugely beneficial to social chain.

但在其他方面，我觉得这真的可能拖累公司的发展。

But in others, I think it could really risk holding the company back.

我们有很大的野心，对吧？

We have major ambitions, right?

我想让social chain进入所有我们可能进入的市场，只要合理。

I want to go to every market we possibly can with social chain that makes sense.

但我担心我会花太多时间纠结于这些细节，在英国、美国或德国这样的市场，我们永远达不到应有的规模，因为我对小事太较真了。

But I worry that I'll spend so much time obsessing over these minor details and in markets like The UK or The US or Germany or whatever, that will never reach the scale we could, because I'm such a stickler for tiny things.

我把太多精力花在小事上了。

I spend too much of my energy on tiny things.

我真正应该做的是更信任别人。

And what I really should do is trust people more.

而我一直都不擅长信任别人。

And I've never been good at trusting people.

我商科老师在我的成绩单上写评语的时候，我多大来着？

My business studies teacher wrote on my report card when I was how old was I?

大概15岁吧，写的是：Steve很棒，他在商业上真的很出色，但他从来不会委派任务。

Must have been about 15 years old that Steve is great, and he's really, really great at business, but he never ever delegates.

而社交链，业务的增长，你知道，现在差不多有300名员工了，这逼着我不得不去放权，但我觉得我还是抓得比应该放的多了一点。

And social chain, the growth of the business, you know, there's almost 300 members of staff now, forced me to delegate, but I think I'm still holding on a little bit more than I should.

而且我觉得，这算是全球独家消息吧，我应该像之前那样，从运营中再退一步，甚至退得更多，把精力放在品牌上，放在我个人品牌的项目上，放在我最擅长的那部分上，你懂的。

And I think, and this is kind of a world exclusive, that I should take a little bit of a step back from the operations as I have done, but even more and focus on the brand, focus on my personal brand initiatives and focus on the bit that I'm uniquely good at, you know.

我觉得完美主义在拖我的后腿。

I think perfectionism is holding me back.

但奇怪的是，我觉得也正是完美主义让我走到了今天。

And the weird thing is I think perfectionism is also what's got me here.

所以我卡住了，我

So I'm stuck and I

需要帮助。

need help.

我该怎么办？

What do I do?

其实这个问题我也没有答案。

I actually don't have the answer to this point.

我被困住了。

I'm trapped.

我夹在追求完美、注重细节和知道这很重要，但又明白必须放手、退一步、更信任别人之间，如果这件事要

I'm trapped between wanting to be perfect and caring so much about details and knowing that's important and knowing that I have to let go and step back and trust people more if this thing is

做大做强的话。

going to grow big.

我想总有个折中的办法，或者我猜

I guess there's a happy medium, or I guess

我永远都会卡在这里。

I'll always be stuck.

也许所有伟大的创业者都卡在这里吧。

Maybe all, you know, great entrepreneurs are stuck.

其实我也不知道答案。

I actually don't know the answer to this.

我想总结这些观点，但我

I like to conclude these points, but I

我在这里没有结论。

have no conclusion here.

这是我的结论。

Here's my conclusion.

接下来的几周，我打算试试。

Over the next couple of weeks, I'm going to try.

我打算

I'm going

试着让事情顺其自然一些，少参与，多信任别人，看看效果如何。

to try and let things play out a little bit more and be less involved and trust people more and see how that goes.

我们脑子里常常会有这种想法，觉得如果不参与、不放手、不信任，事情就会出问题，但其实这些想法往往只是错觉，

Often these thoughts in our head that if we aren't involved, if we let go, if we trust are actually just delusions,

而且它们不合逻辑，也不真实。

and they're illogical and they're untrue.

我觉得这次可能就是这样。

And I think this might be the case.

对。

Yeah.

这是一个我在日记里写下的超级简短的观点，我之前也说过，我知道我说过，但它真的他妈的太重要了。

This is, a super, super quick point that I've written in my diary, it is and I've said it before, I know I have, but it's so fucking important.

而且这周我体会更深了。

And I've learned it even more this week.

我会说得简短一点，因为不需要说太多。

I'm going to keep it short because it doesn't need to be longer than this.

就相信我这一点。

Just trust me on this.

作为创业者，如果你想成功，想走得远，学会说“不”是最重要的事情。

As an entrepreneur, if you want to be successful, if you want to go far, learning to say no is the most important thing.

在我职业生涯中，13位投资人都反复向我强调过这一点。

I've had this whipped into me by the 13 investors that I've had in my business career.

即使某件事看起来非常诱人，说“不”仍然是最重要的事情。

Saying no, even though something looks like it's incredibly tempting, is the single most important thing.

有一位亿万富翁，实际上就是经营boohoo.com的那位，马哈茂德·胡马尼，他教了我一个非常非常重要的道理。

And there's a certain billionaire, in fact, the billionaire that runs boohoo.com, Mahmoud Khumani, that taught me a very, very valuable lesson.

他对我说了一句很简单的话：永远不要为了摘苹果而丢掉手里的馅饼。

He said to me, very simple sentence, never drop the pie reaching for an apple.

他的意思是，在你的人生中，尤其是作为创业者、商人，或者其实对任何人来说，总会有一些看起来特别诱人的东西。

And what he means is, as you go through your life, especially as an entrepreneur, a business person, or really anybody, there will be things that look incredibly tempting.

就像树上的苹果。

Apples in the tree.

对那个苹果说不。

Say no to the apple.

无论那个苹果看起来多诱人、多汁，永远不要为了摘它而丢掉手里的馅饼。

Never drop the pie in your hands reaching for the apple, no matter how tempting the apple looks and how juicy it seems.

这周尤其如此，有太多好机会摆在我和Social Chain面前，去开拓新市场、做新事情、启动新业务。

And this week more than ever, there's been so many great opportunities thrown at me and social chain to go to new markets, to do new things, to start new business ventures.

我为自己感到骄傲，因为我18岁时，当我告诉我的投资人阿拉斯泰尔·米尔恩我想在公司内部再开一家新公司，他狠狠批评了我，那个教训在那天起了作用，我能够说出“不”了。

And I was proud of myself because the whipping that I got at 18 years old when I told one of my investors, Alastair Milne, that I wanted to start another business within our business and he slammed me, the learning showed up on that day and I was able to say no.

我觉得这真的太重要了。

And I just think this is so important.

当时可能看不出来，对吧，因为事情

It doesn't seem in the moment, right, because things

太诱人了，但真的非常重要。

are so tempting, but it's so important.

说实话，我希望她不会介意我说这个，我妈妈是偶然间教会我这个道理的。

Speaking honestly, and I hope she doesn't mind me saying this, my mom taught me this lesson accidentally.

你知道，我妈妈，

You know, my mom,

在我长大的过程中，大概创办了十到十五个不同的生意，她从一个生意跳到另一个，因为总有人告诉她某个领域有机会。

as I've grown up, has probably started ten, fifteen different businesses, and she's gone from one business to the next because people have told her that there's an opportunity in something.

正因为这样，她没能建立起什么有规模的事业。

And because of that, she's not been able to build something substantial.

所以过去几年里，我一直跟我妈说的也是同样的道理。

And so the lesson I've said to my mom over the last couple of years is the same thing.

妈，你得学会

Mom, you have to

什么时候该说不。

learn when to say no.

我爱你，但你得

I love you, but you've got

多拒绝一些。

to say no more.

我觉得她现在真的有点进步了，因为她开始学着多拒绝一些了。

I think she's I think she's really getting somewhere now because, you know, she's she's learning to say no a little bit more.

作为创业者，我们总想对所有事情都说好。

And as entrepreneurs, we want to say yes to everything.

我们很有野心。

We're ambitious.

我们觉得自己什么都能做。

We think we can do everything.

但真正的艺术，一种你只能相信我的艺术，一种我无法在这个播客里向你证明的艺术，就是如果你学会说“不”，如果你能成为一个专注的人，我向你保证，我向你保证，我想不出还有多少事情能让你走得更远。

But the real art and an art that you just have to believe me in, an art that I can't prove to you on this podcast, is that if you learn to say no and if you can be someone that focuses, I promise you, I promise you, I can't think of many more things that will take you further.

学会说“不”和专注将定义你。

Saying no and focusing will define you.

好的。

Okay.

我在日记里写过，我需要摒弃什么？

I've written in my diary, what have I got to unlearn?

让我带你回到这个想法一会儿。

Let me take you back on this thought a second.

我早年以为，只要我能弄清楚我需要学什么，我就会成为一个成功的人，一个成功的商人，一个伟大的企业家。

I spent my early life believing that I would become a successful person, a successful business person, a great entrepreneur, if I could only just figure out what I needed to learn.

我列了清单，写下了我认为需要学习的东西。

And I made lists of things that I thought I needed to learn.

我列了清单，写下了我需要读的书。

I made lists of books that I needed to read.

我读了那些书，听了那些励志的人的话，学了技能，上了网课，什么都做了，还看了YouTube视频，但我还是一遍又一遍地犯同样的错误。

And I read those books, I listened to these, you know, motivational people, I learned skills, I did courses online, I did everything, watched YouTube videos, but I still made some mistakes over and over and over again.

我说的不只是生意上的事。

And I'm not just talking about business.

我说的是我的感情关系，对吧？

I'm talking about in my relationships, right?

我说的是朋友之间的关系。

I'm talking about with friendships.

我说的是生意。

I'm talking about business.

我说的是所有的事情。

I'm talking about everything.

我反复犯了一些错误。

I made some mistakes repeatedly.

不管我读了多少书，学了多少东西，我还是会一次又一次地犯同样的错误。

No matter what I read, no matter how much I learned, I made the same mistakes again and again and again.

所以有一天，在受到一点启发并了解了心理学和认知行为疗法之后，我意识到还有一份不同的清单需要列出来。

And so one day, after a little bit of inspiration and understanding psychology and cognitive behavior therapy, I realized that there was a different list I

而且每一个收听这个播客的人都需要列这份清单。

needed to make and that every single person listening to this podcast needs to make.

这份

And this

清单叫做《我需要

list is called Things I Need

忘掉的事情》。

to Unlearn.

你的童年、你经历过的失恋、有毒的想法、别人对你说过的刻薄话，

Your childhood, heartbreaks you've experienced, toxic thoughts, toxic comments people have made to

这些都会让你产生有毒的想法，还有那些多年未改的坏习惯，也教会了你很多东西。

you which have created toxic thoughts, bad habits that went unchecked for years have taught you a bunch of stuff as well.

我们不只是从好事和学识渊博的人那里学到东西，我们也从坏事中学习。

We don't only learn through good things and through knowledgeable people, we learn through bad things.

而且有些

And some

东西是需要被抛弃的。

of those things need to be unlearned.

有些

Some of

东西我在播客里讲过，你知道，我小时候看着父母互相吼叫，这让我学到了一个教训，就是感情关系真的很糟糕，很毒，就像监狱一样，一有人提到感情你就应该赶紧跑。

those things I've I've talked about in this podcast, you know, watching my parents scream at each other while I was growing up taught me the lesson that relationships are really, really bad news and that they're toxic and that it's prison and that you should always run the minute someone mentions relationships.

对吧？

Right?

这是我必须主动去抛弃的一个想法。

That is something that I've had to actively unlearn.

我每次进入一段感情都搞砸了，因为我一直没意识到我得抛弃一些乱七八糟的想法。

And I went into every relationship and failed miserably because I refused to realize that I had to unlearn some shit.

同样，你小时候可能也有人对你说过一些话。

In the same way, people might have said things to you when you were younger.

他们可能告诉过你，你不行。

They might have told you that you're incapable.

他们让你觉得自己做不到。

They've made you feel like you can't.

对吧？

Right?

这些都是错误的、不切实际的想法，如果你不赶紧忘掉它们，它们会毁了你。

These are delusional incorrect ideas that are destructive if you do not unlearn them immediately.

它们拖你后腿的力度，比你能学到的任何东西推你前进的力度都要大。

They will hold you back more than lessons you can learn will take you forward.

你有什么需要忘掉的？

What have you got to unlearn?

好。

Okay.

我日记里的下一个点，因果报应。

Next point in my diary, karma.

事情是这样的。

Here's the thing.

这周我发过相关内容，所以让我聊聊因果报应。

I posted about this this week, so let me talk about karma.

几年前，我

A couple of years ago, I

大概是八年前，我在脸书上联系了一个人。

think it was about eight years ago, I reached out to a guy on Facebook.

我就叫他约翰吧，因为我不想提他的名字。

I'm just going to call this guy John, because I don't want to mention his name.

约翰在我18岁、身无分文、一无所有、什么都给不了他的时候帮过我。

And John helped me when I was 18 years old and I was broke and I was absolutely nobody and I could offer him nothing.

他帮了我很多。

He helped me so much.

他给了我建议。

He gave me advice.

他甚至亲自来到我在曼彻斯特的学生宿舍，坐在厨房里跟我聊了很多事情。

He even came over to my halls of residence in Manchester, where I was living as a student and sat in the kitchen with me and talked to me through a bunch of stuff.

而约翰从来没有要求过任何回报。

And John never ever asked me for anything in return.

从来没有，一次都没有。

Never not once.

一次都没有。

Not once.

随着我在职业上不断攀升，事业和生意也越来越大，约翰在一家餐厅酒吧做管理岗位。

And as I climbed in my profession and my career and my businesses grew, John works in a restaurant bar in a managerial role.

他经常看到我，只是挥手说‘干得好’，他非常非常友善、温柔。

And he sees me all the time and he just waves and says, well done, and he's super, super nice and super sweet and kind.

他在我一无所有、什么都给不了他的时候帮助了我。

He helped me when I was absolutely nothing and could give him nothing.

然后一件特别有趣的事情发生在一周前，

And something really funny happened a week and

半年前。

a half ago.

其中一个

One of

我朋友经营着餐饮业最大的品牌之一，他打电话给我说，史蒂夫，我们刚有个人来应聘，我看到你在好几个平台都和他有联系，你们是共同的朋友，等等等等。

my friends that runs one of the biggest brands in the food restaurant industry called me and they said, Steve, we've just had this guy apply for a job and I can see you're connected to him on a number of different platforms, your mutual friend, etcetera, etcetera.

你觉得他怎么样？

What do you think of him?

那个人就是约翰。

And that guy was John.

八年前，这个人帮过我，当时他

Eight years ago, this guy helped me when he

没有理由帮我。

had no reason to.

现在有人来问我的意见，要不要给他一份非常好的工作，这对约翰的职业生涯来说是一个很大的提升。

And now someone is asking my opinion on whether they should give him a very, very good job, which would be a very big step up for John in his career.

真是奇妙的巧合。

Weird serendipity.

所以我就告诉了我那位朋友，约翰八年前无私地帮了我什么。

And so I told this person, my friend, what John did for me eight years ago selflessly.

他当时

He had

没有理由这么做。

no reason to.

约翰就是那种人。

That's the kind of guy John is.

我完全支持约翰担任这个职位。

And I would fully endorse John for this role.

我愿意拿我的名声担保，结果约翰真的得到了那份工作。

I'd put my reputation on it, and John got offered the job.

这个故事告诉我们什么道理呢？

What's the moral of this story?

很明显，这就是因果报应。

Quite clearly, it's karma.

而且，你知道，有时候当我……

And, you know, sometimes when I had

有人跟我解释过因果报应，说它是一种超自然的力量，我们就像木偶一样，有个操控者，会报复人、奖赏人，诸如此类。

a karma explained to me, it was this supernatural force where we're all kind of like puppets and there's this puppet master that's, you know, seeking revenge and rewarding people and all these kinds of things.

这完全是乱七八糟的胡扯。

It's higgledy piggledy nonsense.

对吧？

Right?

我根本不在乎那些乱七八糟的东西。

I didn't give a fuck about all that crap.

因果报应其实是非常真实、符合逻辑的。

Karma is a very real logical thing.

你可以这样想：我们每个人每天都在种下种子。

And think about it this way, every single day, all of us are planting seeds.

我们在与人的互动中种下种子，这些种子可以是善意和无私，也可以是恶意和消极。

We're planting seeds in the people we interact with, and those seeds can be kindness and selflessness, or those seeds can be nastiness and negativity.

而在某个时刻，

And at some point,

这些种子会生根发芽。

these seeds are gonna grow.

它们一定会长大。

They're gonna grow.

有些种子

Some of them

可能不会发芽。

might not grow.

有些你永远看不到。

Some of them you'll never see.

但很可能，其中一些种子会成长起来。

But the chances are some of these seeds are gonna grow.