E3：人际关系、创业是一种疾病与加密货币

你好。

Hello.

现在这里是凌晨两点二十五分，星期天晚上。

It's 02:25AM here, Sunday night.

我一个人待在房子的客房里，盯着日记本上那些乱七八糟的涂鸦和杂乱的字迹发呆。

I'm here in the spare room of my house and I'm sat staring at scribbles and fairly incoherent lines in my diary.

我这么说是为了让你有个画面感，我知道你现在看不到我。

Just for situational context, because I know you can't see me right now.

我用一支特别小的麦克风录这个播客，直接插在iPhone上。

I record this podcast on a small, small microphone that plugs into my iPhone.

录音的地方就是我家的客房，里面什么都没有，就一张沙发床。

I record it in a spare room of my house, which has nothing in it, just a sofa bed.

我通常就坐在沙发床上，穿着内裤。

And I sit on the sofa bed, usually in my boxes.

这次呢，我只裹了条浴巾。

This time, I'm just wearing a towel.

我就让你们自己去想象这个画面吧。

I'll leave you with that visual.

我就是对着日记里的那些要点随便聊聊。

And I just start talking around bullet points in my diary.

这一周特别私人，像往常一样，但这次更私密一些。

This week is particularly personal, as they all have been, I guess, but this one is slightly more personal.

有个话题特别让我犹豫，一想到要告诉你们，我就有点紧张。

There's one topic in particular which, you know, made me feel a little bit anxious when I when I thought about telling you guys.

我一直在纠结，要不要如实说出来。

And I was in two minds being completely honest whether I should share it or not.

但我又提醒自己，我当初答应过你们，要完全坦诚，不夸大、不简化，如实分享我的真实想法。

But again, I reminded myself of the promise that I made to you about full disclosure and about giving you my truth as it is without exaggeration or simplification at all.

第二章的听众比第一章多了三成，这进步真不错。

And 30% more of you listened to chapter two than chapter one, so that's great growth, I guess.

所以，我想谢谢你们。

So I wanted to thank you for that.

某种奇怪的方式里，你们就是我沉默的治疗师，是我倾诉的对象，是我那不说话、不回应的知心人，希望这个播客能让我们一些人一起发现、一起思考。

In some weird way, you are my silent therapist, you're my confidant, you're my mute, unresponsive, agony aunt, and hopefully this podcast is allowing some of us to discover and think together.

不过不多说了，这是第三章。

But without further ado, this is chapter three.

我是史蒂夫·巴特利特，这是首席执行官的日记。

I'm Steve Bartlett and this is the diary of a CEO.

我希望没人听，但如果你在听，请别对外说。

I hope nobody is listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

好吧。

Okay.

说实话，这周是我人生中最艰难、最有趣、也最激动人心的一周。

So this was, being completely honest, this was one of the toughest, most interesting, and most exciting weeks of my life.

这一周里，我好几次突然想通了一些事，整个星期都在不断反思。

And throughout the week, had several moments of sort of like personal epiphany and it's been a week full of reflection.

我想从这周的结尾说起。

And I wanted to start where my week ended.

我这一周是在伦敦一间董事会会议室结束的，十五层楼高，窗外是伦敦眼和那些标志性地标，坐在一栋非常显赫的大楼里，围着一张桌子的，是十个穿着西装的四十岁左右的人。

And my week ended in a boardroom in London, 15 floors up looking out above the London Eye and these iconic landmarks in a very, very prestigious building, sat around a table with ten 40 year olds in suits.

而我呢，一身黑，穿着破洞紧身牛仔裤，戴着帽子。

And there I was sat in my all black outfit, my ripped skinny jeans, and my hat.

你们要是熟悉我长什么样，就知道我从来都戴帽子，从不例外。

You guys that know what I look like will know that I always wear a hat, always.

这事儿本身就有故事。

Just that's a story in itself.

你知道吗？

Do you know what?

咱们干脆聊聊这个吧，因为老有人问我。

Let's let's go into that because I get asked this a lot.

过去三年，我每天都戴帽子，一天都没落下。

So for the last three years, I've worn a hat every single day.

对吧？

Right?

每天都戴。

Every single day.

和我一起工作的人、女朋友、朋友，都说同样的话。

People that work with me, girlfriends, mates, will all say the same thing.

说实话，我唯一在公共场合摘帽子的时候，就是过机场安检，他们要求我摘。

They know I the only time I take my hat off in public, being completely honest, is when I go through that airport security section and they make me.

即便如此，也是一瞬间的事。

And even then, it's a very, very quick exchange.

我把帽子放进篮子里。

You know, I put it in the basket.

跑过去，马上又戴回头上。

I run through it and I put my hat back on.

我被问过无数次，为什么总戴帽子。

And I've I've been asked why why I wear a hat many, many, many times.

所以现在我来告诉你们，我为什么戴帽子。

And so I'm gonna tell you why I wear a hat.

除了我头发确实不太好之外，我戴帽子是因为我的生活太复杂了。

Other than the fact that I've got shit hair, the reason why I wear a hat is because my life is very, very complicated.

我知道自己为什么戴帽子，是因为以前我根本从来不戴，直到一件事发生——那就是我创办了公司。

And the reason why I know why I wear a hat is because I never used to wear a hat until something happened, and that thing was my company.

这和扎克伯格、乔布斯为什么只穿一样的衣服，是同一个道理。

And it's the same reason why Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs all have one outfit.

作为CEO或者忙碌的人，你得尽量减少每天要做决定的次数。

And it's because as a CEO or as a busy person, you're you're you're constantly trying to limit the amount of decisions you have to make.

在创办Social Chain之前，我每天都要花大概二十五分钟打发胶、梳头发。

And when I before Social Chain, when I used to do my hair every single day, it would take me about twenty five minutes to put the the wax in my hair, to comb it.

还得等它干，用毛巾擦，一堆事儿，特别费时间。

I then had to wait for it to dry and towel it and all these things which were time consuming.

自从开始做Social Chain，各种决定扑面而来，而且都是重要的决定。

And so when I started Social Chain, decisions were everywhere and important decisions were everywhere.

所以我就不在那些无关紧要的小事上浪费心思了。

And so I stopped caring so much about decisions that didn't really matter.

所以现在我的衣橱里85%都是黑色T恤，还有一条黑色牛仔裤，我之前就跟你们说过。

So now my wardrobe is 85% black t shirts and I have one pair of black jeans as as I've said to you guys before.

这周末我刚买了条新的，所以旧的可以退役了。

I just bought a new pair this weekend actually, so my old ones will be retired.

每天早上醒来，我就去衣橱挑一件黑色T恤，穿上黑色牛仔裤，再戴上帽子。

And when I wake up in the morning, I go to my wardrobe, I pick a black t shirt, I put on my black jeans, and I put on my hat.

然后我才去上班——当然，之前还得刷牙、洗澡这些，但做完这些我就直接去工作了。

And then I go to and obviously, there's things that I do before that and brush my teeth, shower and all these things, but then I go to work.

我不想让选衣服、搭配这些事占去我的精力。

And I don't want picking an outfit, matching it, and all these other things to to factor into that.

我也不太愿意花时间剪头发之类的。

I don't really like taking the time to even like, cut my hair, etcetera.

所以我的头发经常会长长不少。

So my hair tends to, like, grow up quite a lot.

我戴帽子的原因，说到底，就是为了减少自己要做决定的事。

So the reason why I wear a hat, just to put this to bed, is because I'm trying to limit I think I'm trying to limit the decisions that I make.

穿全黑的衣服，生活确实简单多了。

And it just life is easier just wearing all black.

就是方便。

It's just easier.

我觉得穿全黑其实还挺有品位的。

And it's quite fashionable as well, I think, to wear all black.

对了，我刚才在说啥来着？

Anyway, what was I talking about?

哦，对了。

Oh, yeah.

坐在那个会议室里。

Sat in that boardroom.

我在伦敦的会议室里，周围都是些年纪很大的白发人士。

So sat in this boardroom in London, all these very old, gray people around me.

我当时稍微想了一下。

And I and I was reflecting for a second.

我突然有了一种顿悟，心里想：天啊，我怎么会走到这一步？

I had a bit of like a moment of personal epiphany where I thought, fuck, how did you get here?

我当时真的在脑子里这么想的。

And I literally thought that in my head.

我们围坐在桌旁，讨论的都是重大的战略决策。

We sat at this table talking about major strategic business moves.

这些可是上亿英镑的决定。

These are a £100,000,000 decisions.

对吧？

Right?

我环顾四周，忍不住用手机拍了个小视频，心想：这场景你肯定得记下来。

And and I looked around the table and I've got I took a little video on my phone because I was like, you probably wanna remember this moment.

可我一个非洲长大的孩子，说到底我出生在那儿，怎么就坐到了伦敦的董事会里，跟这些跟我完全不像的人，谈着几亿英镑的生意？

But how did this little kid from Africa, I guess that's where I I was born originally, how did this kid from Africa get to this boardroom in London, sat around this table having conversations about hundreds and hundreds of millions of pounds with people that don't look like me, to say the least.

我真的是这么认真地问自己的。

And I I I genuinely thought that.

我当时就想，天哪。

I thought, fucking hell.

我怎么会走到这一步？

How did I get here?

其实呢，作为CEO或者创业者，你每天忙得不可开交，一天一天地熬，一小时一小时地撑，一封邮件一封邮件地回，一个问题一个问题地解决，一个难关一个难关地过。

And it was well, because, you know, because you're so as a CEO or an entrepreneur, you're so busy taking one day at a time, one hour at a time, one email at a time, one problem at a time, one challenge at a time.

你根本没空停下来反思。

You very, very, very rarely reflect.

别人总跟我说：天啊，你一定特别为自己骄傲吧。

And people always say to me, they say, god, you must be so proud of yourself.

我一点都不觉得自己有什么好骄傲的。

And I'm not proud of myself at all.

我哪有时间坐着自我陶醉。

I don't have time to sit around being proud of myself.

我怕的不是别的，是懈怠——还有太多事等着做，根本容不下你停下来拍拍自己肩膀。

I think there's there's a fear of complacency and there's so much to do that stop you from ever sitting around and patting yourself on the back.

那真是难得的一刻，我只花了短短几秒钟反思了一下。

And so that was a very rare moment where I I reflected only for a couple of seconds.

但当我思考今天想跟你们聊的话题时，我就想回答这个问题。

But then when it came to thinking about things I wanted to touch on with you guys today, I wanted to answer that question.

我是怎么走到今天的？

How did I get here?

我想把回答这个问题时，第一时间冒出来的几个想法梳理清楚。

And I wanted to break down some the sort of the first things that popped to my mind when I answered that question.

我是怎么走到今天的？

How did I get here?

我日记里写下的第一个要点，是关于愿景的。

And the first point I wrote down in my diary is about visualization.

对。

Okay.

我很反感那本书《秘密》给这个世界带来的影响。

I hate what that book, The Secret, did to the world.

至少大部分是这样。

Much of it anyway.

坦白说，我没完整读过这本书。

Full disclosure, not fully read the book.

但当我问别人对这本书的看法，或者看那些读过《秘密》的人做的YouTube视频时，他们总强调只要说说愿望、想想目标就行，根本不用行动。

But when I ask people about that book and what it means, and when I've watched YouTube videos from people that have read read the book, The Secret about visualization, the emphasis seems to be on just saying what you want or just thinking about it instead of action.

对我来说，最重要的从来都是付诸行动。

And for me, the most important thing has always been taking action.

所以我说，那种没说出口的愿景，是我能坐进董事会的原因之一。

And so when I say unspoken visualization is one of the reasons that got me to that boardroom.

我的意思是，我这一生一直都清楚自己想过什么样的生活。

What I mean is my whole life, I've known what I want my life to look like.

从十六七岁开始，我就已经知道我想要怎样的人生了。

Since I was 16, 17, 18 years old, I knew what I wanted my life to look like.

你们如果听过第一章，应该记得我十八岁时写下的目标，比如二十五岁前成为百万富翁之类的。

And for you guys that listen to chapter one, you'll remember some of the things I wrote down that I wanted to achieve before I was 25 were when I was 18 years old, were things like being a millionaire, etcetera, etcetera.

我一直很清楚自己想要什么样的生活。

I always knew what I wanted my life to look like.

但我从来没说出口。

I never said it.

我没怎么在每天早上醒来后反复提醒自己这一点。

I never well, didn't say it, but I never like woke up in the morning and reiterated that to myself.

我只是始终专注于想成为什么样的人，想过什么样的生活。

It was just a constant focus on who I wanted to be and how I wanted my life to look.

所以那种没说出来的愿景，某种程度上正是我坐进那个会议室的原因——那个18岁的少年史蒂夫·巴特利特，早就知道自己一定会坐在那里。

So unspoken visualization, think, is part of the reason I that I've that I was in that boardroom because, you know, that 18 year old kid, Steve Bartlett, he he knew he would be sat in that boardroom.

他不知道具体该怎么做。

He didn't know how.

他从来就没想过具体该怎么做。

He never knew how.

他最初以为是靠打造一个社交网络，但他始终确信自己一定会坐在那个位置上。

He thought it would be at first by building a social network, but he he definitely knew he'd be sat there.

而这促使他朝着那个方向采取了具体的行动。

And what that then did was make him take certain actions in that direction.

我觉得，这正是想象的力量所在。

And I think that's the power of visualization really.

它能激励你，提醒你为了达成目标必须做出哪些选择。

It inspires you and reminds you of the decisions you have to take to go in the direction you want to go in.

让我给你举个例子。

So let me give try and give you an example.

如果过去五年我始终清楚自己要坐进那个董事会，那我就会做出一些小决定：不去参加某些活动，不把时间花在别的事情上，不盲目尝试五十多件事指望碰运气，也不会毫无目的地环游世界。

If I knew I wanted to be in that boardroom, for the last five years, I have made small decisions, not going to x event, not spending my time doing y, not doing 55 different things and hope that one might pay off, not traveling the world aimlessly.

过去五年，我一直专注于塑造自己，以及经营事业。

I've spent the last five years very focused on building me and in the process of business.

如果没有对人生方向的清晰想象，我根本不可能走到今天。

And without that visualization of where I wanted my life to go, then I never would have got there.

虽然我讨厌《秘密》这本书，但据我所知，里面关于想象的几个观点确实很有价值。

So although I hate the book The Secret, I think from what I've heard, there's a number of very important elements in there about visualization.

我靠想象一路走到了董事会，我从来没想过自己会这么说，因为对我来说，想象这事儿简直让人反感。

I visualized I visualized my way to the boardroom and I never thought I'd say that because visualization to me is something that's so it's so disgusting.

光靠想，不采取行动，听起来很空洞，但想象的魔力就在于，它能推动你朝着某个方向行动。

It's like there's no action involved in just thinking, but the power of visualization is it makes you take actions in a certain direction.

接下来是目标设定。

The next thing is goal setting.

我有没有设定过目标，好让自己进到董事会呢？

So like, did I did I set goals to get to that boardroom?

其实我也不太确定。

I didn't really know.

没有，我根本没设过。

No, I didn't.

我说的是实话。

Being completely honest.

很多创业者讲自己的经历时，都会说你知道吗？

And often entrepreneurs will recite their journey and they'll tell you, do know what?

我一路都规划好了每一步。

I planned every step of the way.

但在我身上，这根本不是事实。

It's just not the truth in my case.

我根本不知道该怎么走到那个董事会里。

I I didn't know how I'd get to that boardroom.

我知道自己最终能到那儿，但并没有设过具体目标来达成它。

I know I'd get there, but I didn't set goals to get me there.

直到最近，我才开始认真地设定目标。

It's only more recently that I've started to properly set goals.

就像我说的，18岁的时候，我确实设过要当百万富翁的目标。

As I said, when I was 18, set I goals about wanting to be a millionaire.

行吧。

Fine.

但那些根本算不上具体的目标。

But these weren't specific goals.

这只不过是钱慢慢攒起来的结果。

This was just an accumulation of money.

现在我会设定目标，而且目标非常非常明确。

Now I set goals and I've got very, very clear goals.

设定目标和可视化想象其实是相辅相成的。

And goal setting and visualization kind of play hand in hand.

如果你还没设定目标，正在听这个节目，那你早上醒来时连十个清晰的目标都列不出来，赶紧暂停这个播客，等你把十个目标写下来了再继续听。

So if you haven't got goals and you're listening to this, you haven't got 10 goals that you're 100% clear on when you wake up in the morning, pause this podcast immediately and don't resume it until you've written down your 10 goals.

过去几年里，我开始越来越多地思考目标到底应该是什么样子。

And and so and over the last couple of years, I started to think more and more about what goals should look like.

它们应该是财务方面的吗？

Should they be financials?

它们应该是这方面的吗？

Should they be this?

它们应该是那方面的吗？

Should they be that?

特别特别简单。

Very, very, very simple.

我设定目标用的方法就是这个。

The the the thing that I use to set my goals is this.

就是发自内心地特别特别想要那些东西。

It's just a very honest belief that I really, really, really want those things.

就这么简单。

That's that's it.

如果你设定的目标是为了别人，或者你觉得该设的目标，你就不会去采取必要的行动。

Because if you set goals for other people or goals that you think you should set, you won't take the actions you need to.

你不会熬到凌晨三点。

You won't stay up till 3AM.

也不会全神贯注地朝着那个方向拼命前进。

You won't drive, you know, with an immense focus in that direction.

相信我。

Trust me.

所以当你设定目标时，就像我刚才做的那样，试着找到那些你真正发自内心想要的东西。

So when you come to set your goals, do as I've done now and just try and find things that you genuinely really want.

你真正发自内心想要的。

You genuinely really want.

我有个好朋友，也是我最好的朋友之一，叫亚历克斯·亚安，今晚我刚和他聊过他的几个目标。

One of my good friends, one of my best friends, Alex Ayan, I just had a conversation with him tonight about his some of his goals.

我不会把他的目标告诉你们所有人，因为我不确定有没有得到他的许可。

And I won't share his goals with all of you because I don't know if I've got permission to do so.

但他有一个特别宏大的目标。

But he had one goal in particular, which is enormous.

这个目标让我非常钦佩。

And it's something that, you know, I admire.

这真是一个极其了不起的目标。

It's such a tremendous, tremendous goal.

他主动问我：你愿意和我一起实现这个目标吗？

And he offered me, he said to me, would you want to team up with me on this goal in achieving it?

尽管如此，这件事对我来说真的非常重要。

And even though I would you know, it's something that's very close to my heart.

如果一件事我不是100%发自内心地渴望，每天醒着的时候都在想、在想象、全身心投入去思考，那我就不愿意分享这个目标。

If it's not something that I 150% dream about and dream about whilst I'm awake and think about every day and visualize and spend all of my time thinking about, I can't share that goal.

所以我的第二点就是：设定那些你真正想要的目标。

So that's my my second point, which is just setting goals that you really fucking want.

好吧。

And okay.

第三点，我是怎么走到今天的。

Third third thing of how did I get here.

我觉得第三点是我以前没怎么提过，也很少听别人说起的，就是保护自己的底线。

I think the third thing that I don't think I've talked about before or I've really heard many people talk about before, is about protecting your standard.

是这样的。

Here's the thing.

现在正在听这个播客的每一个人，都有自己的一套标准。

Every single person listening to this podcast right now has a standard.

每个人对自己被别人如何对待，都有自己的底线。

They have a standard for the way that they'll allow people to treat them.

对自己所做的工作，也有明确的标准。

They have a standard for the work they do.

你做的每一件事、接触的每一个细节、说话的方式、你的品格——所有这些，你心里都有一套自己的准则。

Every piece of work you produce, everything you touch, every the way you talk to people, your character, everything, you have set your own standard for that.

我觉得我能走到今天，关键在于我对工作标准有非常清晰的认识，并且我会坚决守住它。

And one of the things that I believe has got me to where I am now is I have a very clear idea of what my standard is when it comes to work, and I will protect it.

即使这意味着有时候别人不喜欢我，甚至我的消息会毁了他们的一天——因为我直接告诉他们：这不符合标准。

Even if it means that sometimes I'm not liked and sometimes I ruin people's days because I message them and I let them know that this doesn't meet the standard.

我相信，从长远来看，第一，人们会更尊重你，因为你守护标准的同时，其实也在保护他们。

I believe long term, a, people will respect you more because in protecting the standard, you're also protecting them most of the time.

第二，他们会更尊重你、更感激你，因为你们多半在同一个团队里，大家目标一致，都想做到最好，去最好的地方。

And b, they'll respect you more and they'll appreciate you more because they're probably in your team and you're all in this together and you'll want to be the best and go to the best places.

第三，我在采访世界顶级摄影师兰金时发现，现在敢直接指出房间里那头大象的人实在太少了。

C, as I discovered in my interview with Rankin, one of the world's best photographers, there's not enough people out there that are just pointing at the elephant in the room.

那些敢于指出问题核心的人，才能真正突破，走得最远，成就最大。

And the people that point at the elephant in the room are the ones that cut through, they're the ones that go the furthest, and they're the ones that achieve the most.

有些人一生都在接受一切，而另一些人则始终守护着自己的标准。

There are some people who will go through life accepting anything and then there are a different group of people who will go through life protecting their standard.

过去五年，我一直坚持维护自己的标准，有时我发现别人的标准比我更高，这在某些领域其实是好事。

I've gone through the last five years of my life protecting my own standard and sometimes I found that other people's standards are higher than mine, which is fantastic in certain disciplines.

比如我们的视频总监杰森·费舍尔，他对视频的要求远超我能想象的范围，因为那是他的专业和艺术。

So, you know, Jason Fisher, our director of video, his standards for video are much higher than I could ever dream of because that's his craft and his art.

但我觉得，真正让我走到今天这个会议室的，是我对史蒂夫·巴特利特工作标准的坚守——我允许自己参与的项目，哪怕是一个拼写错误、一条推文的配色、一个框体在页面上的落点，是不是刚好贴边，线条离边缘是不是太近，我都不能妥协。

But that's the other thing I think that's got me that got me to that boardroom is really, really protecting Steve Bartlett's standards for work I'm allowed to go past me, things I'll allow myself to be associated with, even down to spelling mistakes and I remember back in the day being a stickler for spelling mistakes on tweets we used to do and the color and the way that the box will fall onto a page, will it fall off the page, is the line too close to the edge of it.

这些标准在当下看起来无关紧要，但长期坚持下去，会彻底改变你的人生轨迹。

These kinds of standards, although in the moment don't seem to matter, protecting that long term will change the trajectory of your life.

指出那个显而易见的问题。

Point to the elephant in the room.

我觉得，这是我学到的最重要的一件事。

I think that's the thing that I've learned the most.

我之所以能走到今天，第四点就是全身心投入和专注。

Point number four for how I think I got here, think is about going all in and focus.

为了坐进那个会议室，我牺牲了一切。

I have sacrificed fucking everything to be in that boardroom.

很长很长一段时间，我都一直在牺牲一切。

I've sacrificed everything for a long, long, long time.

我放弃了娱乐，放弃了晚上的聚会。

I've sacrificed fun, nights out.

刚开始的时候，我甚至放弃了吃饭。

I at very beginning, I sacrificed eating.

你们也知道，这话我都说烂了。

I sacrificed as you guys know, this is like a broken record.

但我必须强调，为了一个明确的目标全情投入，是达成目标最快、最可靠的方式——即便如此，也不能保证一定成功。

But I really have to emphasize that going all in for a particular end goal is the fastest and the most surefire way to get that and even then it's not guaranteed.

但为了能坐在那个会议室里，参与那些对话，我整整五年全神贯注，只盯着一个结果。

But I that to sit in that boardroom and have those conversations, I went all in for five years with total focus on one outcome.

所以我才坐在那个房间里。

And that's why I was in that room.

有很多人根本没在专心致志。

And there's a lot of people out there that are not focusing.

我刚创业的时候，一位投资人兼导师对我说，当我带着想法去找他时，他说：史蒂夫，你绝不能、绝不能、绝不能、绝不能、绝不能失去专注，否则你什么都做不成。

When I first started out as an entrepreneur, one of my investors and mentors said to me when I came to him with an idea, he said, Steve, you must never ever, ever, ever, ever lose your focus or you will never be anything but everything.

他这话听起来挺怪的，但越琢磨，我越明白他的意思。

And it was a weird thing for him to tell me, but the more I sort of reflected on what he meant, it was very clear.

如果你想成为某个人，就得专心成为那个人。

If you want to be somebody, you have to focus on being that person.

很容易因为那些更容易得到的表面回报，就忘了自己真正想成为什么。

It's so easy to lose sight of what you're trying to be because of apparent other rewards that are easier to attain.

有一天，Boohoo的创始人马哈茂德·卡马尼告诉我，别为了摘苹果而扔掉派。

And so you drop the pie while reaching for the apple is the founder of Boohoo, Mahmoud Kamani told me one day.

他说，绝不能为了摘苹果而扔掉派。

He said never, never ever drop the pie reaching for the apple.

我周围看到的正是这样，我妈妈也是这样。

And that's what I see around me is and that's what I saw in my mom.

我妈妈当了二十多年创业者，但她是个失败的创业者。

My mom has been an entrepreneur for twenty odd years and she's been a failed entrepreneur.

我说这话不是不尊重她，她前后开了二三十家公司，没有一家能长久或真正成功。

I'm not disrespecting her in saying that, but she started 20 to 25 to 30 businesses and none of them have really lasted or been a success.

原因就是她总在伸手去抓苹果的时候，把派丢了。

And it's because she's a victim of dropping the pie while reaching for the apple.

只要有人路过跟她说有个新机会，能赚更多钱，她立马就去干新的。

She will start a business if someone walks in off the street and tells her that there's a new opportunity which will be more lucrative.

她常常因为看不到眼前努力的回报，就跑去追别的事，然后循环往复。

My mum would often lose sight of what she's doing and what she's building because the rewards weren't there yet and go after that other thing and the cycle continues.

所以我相信，专注一件事、全力以赴，才是关键。

And so that focus and going all in on one thing, I believe has made the difference.

这也正是我妈妈无意中给我上过最深刻的一课。

And it's also one of the greatest lessons my mum ever taught me without meaning to.

我18岁刚到曼彻斯特的时候，就把这个道理讲给了所有朋友听。

And when I came to Manchester 18 years old, it's a lesson that I would go and tell all my friends about.

我有个最好的朋友叫洛根，那时候他同时经营着三到五个生意，我们经常深聊，我会拿我妈举例，说她明明很有天赋，却什么都没做成，就是因为总想什么都抓。

I had one of my best friends Logan, he was running three to five businesses at the time and we had deep conversations in which I referenced my mum and the reason why she never became anything which she could have because she's talented enough to be was because she tried to be everything.

所以，哪怕还没看到成果，专注依然至关重要。

And so that focus, despite the presence of results, is is vitally important.

第五点，跟我是怎么走到今天的有点不一样。

Point five is slightly different for how did I get here.

我就是想活出最精彩的人生，这对我来说是最重要的事。

It's, I guess a desire to live my most awesome life and that being the most important thing to me.

我记得14岁那年，坐在家乡普利茅斯的一堵墙上，那地方在德文郡和康沃尔郡交界处。我好像以前讲过这个故事——我望着街上的房子、车子，还有从那些房子里走出来的人，突然一架小型包机从我头顶飞过。

I remember when I was, god, 14 years old, sat on a wall in my hometown Plymouth in Devon and Cornwall and I remember looking down the street and I think I've told this story before and I remember looking at the houses on the street where I grew up and the cars and the people coming out of those houses and as I was doing that, I saw a plane go above me and it was a fairly small chartered plane.

那架飞机从我头上飞过去了。

It went above my head.

就在那一刻，我忽然感受到一种强烈的对比：眼前的一切都那么普通，真的再普通不过了。

And it for me in that moment, it created this almost this kind of like juxtaposition, this contrast of what I was seeing in front of me, which is very average, right, very average.

我当时想象那个人是去世界的某个遥远地方，这还没说到正题呢，完全是种天真的想法。

And this person I imagined that was going to some exotic place in the world, and this is before we, you know, we get into it, this is a very naive mindset.

我根本不知道我街坊邻居们过得开不开心。

I do not know the happiness of the people in my street.

我这是在做一种非常天真的假设，也是一种我对眼前景象的隐喻。

I am making a very naive presumption and a sort of a metaphor for what I'm seeing.

我环顾这条街，有个男人开着一辆破旧的老车，车门还用木板钉着；有个女人刚从街角的小店回来，那小店又小又破，东西便宜得离谱。

And I looked around the street and there was a guy who's got a beaten up old car with boarded up side panels and there was a lady, she was coming back from the corner shop which is a very, very sort of run down corner shop where you can get things very, very, very cheap.

我那时候才十四岁，心里问自己：那个开破车的男人，还有刚从街角小店买了一袋子廉价食物的女人，他们在我这个年纪的时候，有没有梦想过过上这样的生活？

And I asked myself as a 14 year old kid, did these people with this guy with this battered car and this woman who had just come from the the gambling shop in the local sort of corner shop with a bag full of cheap food.

他们在我这个年纪时，有没有想过能过上这样的日子？

Did these people dream of having this life when they were my age?

你该怎么成为飞机上的人，而不是那个开破车的人？

And how do you be the person in the plane, not the person with the battered car?

我就那样坐着，这件事我一辈子都忘不了。

And I've and I I sat and I'll never forget it.

这并不是我为了制造效果而编出来的故事。

This isn't some creation that I've made for impact.

这事儿真发生在我身上，我坐在那儿想了好久，奇怪的是，我到现在都忘不了。

This happened to me and I sat there and thought about it and it's funny that I've never forgotten.

就在那一刻，我下定决心，我要成为那样的人。

And I and I in that moment made the decision that I wanted to be that person.

对我来说，飞机代表的是自由。

The plane to me represented freedom.

它代表的是过上最好的生活。

It represented living your best life.

我记得当时想，如果有人能环游世界，看遍风景，体验任何想体验的东西，那为什么不能是我呢？

And I remember saying at the time, if somebody gets to go travel around the world and see things and experience whatever they want to experience, then why can't it be me?

为什么不能是我呢？

Why can't it be me?

那个开破车的人，他十四岁的时候，也想要一辆破车吗？

Did the person with the battered car want a battered car when they were my age?

我不这么认为。

I don't think so.

就在那一刻，我明白了——其实从小到大，我一直都知道，我做的每一个选择，都能让我登上那架飞机。

And in that moment, I realized and I I guess I've realized it for much of my childhood that I, the decisions that I make could put me in that plane.

于是我决定，我要过上我所说的那种最精彩的人生。

And so I decided that I wanted to live my most awesome life as I referred to it.

我想去看看这个世界。

I wanted to see the world.

我想去尝试各种事，体验最极致的感受。

I wanted to do things and experience things at their most extreme.

悲伤、快乐、趣味、激动、那种热血沸腾的感觉。

The sadness, the happiness, the fun, the excitement, the exhilaration.

我都想亲身体验。

I wanted to experience.

我想好好活着。

I wanted to live.

我觉得，正是这种心态，让我最终走进了那个会议室。

And that mindset, I think is also one of the things that took me to that boardroom.

最后，我想简单说一点，我是怎么走到这一步的，其实特别简单。

Lastly, I'll I'll say the last point on this, how I got there is very, very simple.

这话听起来老生常谈，我天天说，但我觉得它最重要。

And it's cliche and I say it all the time, but I think it's the most important.

说白了，就一个词：自信。

Very, very simple point, self belief.

真心相信自己做得到。

Genuinely believing I can.

如果你只能从这个播客里记住一件事，那就是：相信自己能行，这种信念的力量，几乎占了真正做成一件事的99.9%。

That is the if you can take one thing away from this podcast, it's that the power of just believing you can do something is like 99.9 of actually being able to.

我18岁的时候，根本没资格去经营一家营销公司。

Because I was not qualified at 18 to run a marketing business.

我21岁的时候，也没资格去经营我现在在做的这些公司。

I was not qualified at 21 to run a marketing business, all the businesses that I run now.

我只是相信自己能做到。

I just believed that I could.

正因为相信自己能做到，我才去尝试。

And in believing that I could, I tried.

在尝试的过程中，我不断学习、失败，再学习、再失败，反复如此。

And in trying to do so, I learnt and I failed and I learnt and I failed and I learnt and I failed.

那些愿意学习、敢于失败的人，最终都能成功。

And those that learn and fail, eventually they can.

但这一切，都始于信念。

And so but it all starts with belief.

所以我最钟爱的一句话是：认为自己能行的人和认为自己不行的人，通常都是对的。

And that's why my favorite quote is those who think they can and those who think they can't are both usually right.

这是我最爱的一句话，因为它最贴合我的真实体验。

That's my single most favorite quote because it's the one that rings truest to me.

如果你相信自己能行，哪怕现在还做不到，奇怪的是，你最终真的能做到。

If you believe you can, even though you can't right now, the crazy thing is you'll be able to.

正是这份自信，带我走进了那个董事会会议室。

And it's that self belief that's taken me to to that boardroom.

说实话，我并不具备资格。

Obviously, I'm not qualified.

我从来没上过什么商业或营销的课，现在懂的这些，全不是学校教的。

Obviously, I didn't go to school to learn about business or marketing or anything that I know now.

我只是因为相信自己能做到，才去尝试的。

I just tried because I believed that I could and I believed in myself.

这才是最重要的。

And that is the most important thing.

接下来，我在日记里写了‘内在控制点’。

Next, in my diary, I've written internal locus of control.

我想这跟刚才说的那些点是相通的。

And I guess this kind of attaches to the points I've just been making.

我这一生一直都拥有内在控制点，这跟自信其实关系非常紧密。

My whole life I've had an internal locus of control and this is very sort of closely linked to self belief, I guess.

我一直相信，我经历的一切和我的人生走向，都是我自己行动的结果。

I've believed that what happens to me and my destination is a direct result of my actions.

这听起来好像挺理所当然的，但我认为大多数人其实并没有这种内在的掌控感。

And that seems like a fairly obvious thing to make, but I think most people don't actually have an internal locus of control.

我不想再提我妈妈了，但这次我还是得说。

I don't want bring my mum into it again, but I'm going to.

我妈妈特别虔诚，金融危机刚过，她那七家生意和房产被苏格兰皇家银行收回时，她却怪上帝。

My mum is incredibly religious and when she got her seven businesses and properties repossessed by NatWest just after the financial crisis, she blamed God.

她怪别人害了她。

She blamed other people doing her wrong.

她怪这怪那。

She blamed X, Y, Z.

她一直都是这样。

And she's always done that.

她总是把生意失败归咎于别人。

And she's always blamed other people for her failed businesses.

所以下次她又失败了，还是怪别人。

So what happens next time is she fails again and blames someone else again.

她又一次失败，又一次怪别人。

And she fails again and blames someone else again.

这种事我到处都能看到。

And I see this everywhere.

我走到哪儿都能看到这种现象。

I see this everywhere I look.

凯西·内斯塔特虽然是个成功的创业者，但这周他违背了我关于内在控制力的原则——他拍了个视频，抱怨YouTube减少了他从平台获得的收入。

Casey Neistat, although he's a successful entrepreneur, he's kind of violated my rules of internal locus of control this week because he made a YouTube video complaining about YouTube reducing the amount of money he's making from the platform.

说实话，这话可能有点争议，但我看了那个视频，就只想说：那你换个事儿做不就行了。

And honestly, and this is quite a contentious thing to say, but I I watched that video and I just think, well, then go do something else.

你没必要非得做YouTube。

You don't have to do YouTube.

我不喜欢那种把失败归咎于外部因素、抱怨环境阻碍自己成功的做法。

And I don't I I don't like the complaining about external factors hindering your ability to succeed.

如果你不喜欢YouTube的规则，就去别的地方赚钱吧。

If you don't like the rules of YouTube, go and make your money some other place.

这种事我到处都能看到。

And I see this everywhere.

每次政权更替，不管是工党上台还是保守党执政，总有一大堆人觉得自己的人生完蛋了，这种情形我见得太多了。

I see the same thing happen every time there's a political transfer of power and the Labour Party come in or the Conservatives come in and everyone starts feeling as if that now means their life is over.

从1975年到现在，我觉得大约有七成的人会认为，外部因素才是决定他们命运的关键，就像我妈妈那样。

I see that from '75, I'd say about 75% of people who will believe that external factors are the biggest influence over where they end up, like my mom did.

我对所有人、也对我自己一直说的是，你身处什么样的境遇根本不重要。

And my message to to everybody and my message to to myself has always been, it doesn't matter what situation you're put in.

信不信上帝，信不信宗教，都不重要。

It doesn't matter if the if about God or religions.

政府怎么样，也不重要。

It doesn't matter about the government.

就算明天Facebook改了规则，那也不重要——真正最有力量的，是你自己，是你能采取的行动，是你对自己能克服一切的信念。

It doesn't matter if Facebook changes tomorrow because the single most powerful thing, something that's more powerful than all of these things is me and my actions and the steps that I can take and the belief I have in myself overcoming.

所以根本无所谓。

So it doesn't fucking matter.

真的无所谓。

Doesn't matter.

明天就把所有社交媒体都删了。

Get rid of all social networks tomorrow.

我照样没事。

I'll be fine.

我的团队也照样没事。

My team will be fine.

我们都会没事。

We'll be fine.

因为力量在我们自己身上。

Because the power is inside us.

那股力量不是由某个幕后操盘手来掌控我的人生的。

The power isn't, you know, controlled by a puppet master that's dictating my life.

所以，培养这种内在的掌控感，说起来容易，做起来难。

So adopting that internal locus of control, those, you know, easier said than done.

我觉得这非常重要。

I think it's very, very important.

好的。

Okay.

下一个要点。

Next point.

这一点争议挺大的。

This is a fairly contentious one.

谈的是人际关系。

It's about relationships.

我觉得在上一章，也就是第一章里，我对人际关系说得挺消极的。

I think in the the last chapter, in the first chapter, I've been very negative about relationships.

主要是我自己的感情经历，还有我维持一段健康关系的能力之类的。

My own experiences with relationships, my ability to hold a decent relationship, etcetera etcetera.

这周我不得不聊点有点难开口的事，我跟一个认识的女生聊天，她说想结束这段关系，一个人过。

And this week I god, this is kind of tough to talk about but I was having a conversation with a girl that I know and she's talking about wanting to leave her relationship and be single.

这让我想到，我们总是特别容易觉得，别人的日子一定过得更好。

And it got me thinking about how we're very, very, very easy to always think the grass is greener on the other side.

当我还在恋爱的时候——这话可能对一些人来说像炸弹一样炸开，但我说了。

And when I was in a relationship, this is gonna hit some of you like a bombshell, okay?

我谈恋爱的时候，特别想一个人过。

When I was in a relationship, I really wanted to be single.

可现在我单身了，奇怪的是，我又想谈恋爱了，连我自己都不明白。

And when I was now I'm single, weirdly, I want to be in a relationship and I don't even understand.

我搞不懂，为什么我又想回到一段关系里。

I don't understand why why I want to be in a relationship again.

我有个朋友正急着想分手，我就跟她说：你得明白，别人都的草总是看起来更绿。

And so I've got this friend who's like desperate to leave their relationship and I'm telling them, listen, the grass always seems to be greener on the other side.

这话老掉牙了，但老掉牙就是因为很多人认同。可现在，我居然也想重新谈恋爱了。

It's a cliche but a cliche just means that a lot of people agree with the expression and suddenly I want to be back in a relationship again.

你能相信吗？

Can you believe it?

我根本想不通为什么。

I don't even know why.

更奇怪的是，这事儿可真够麻烦的。

And even weirder than that, this is gonna be god, this is gonna cause all kinds of problems.

我觉得我是在想我的前女友。

I think I'm missing my ex.

最疯狂的是，她以前就说过我会这样。

And the crazy thing is she told me I would.

这个前女友，我和她在一起超过一年了。

And this is the ex that I was with for for over a year.

是啊，真够怪的。

Yeah, it's weird.

我也说不清楚是咋回事。

I don't know what it is.

我真的说不清楚这是怎么回事。

I don't know what it is.

我早就知道，到了这一步，我根本不知道该说什么。

And I went into this point knowing that I would not know what to say.

但我就是想弄明白，你懂吗？

But I just and and do you know what I'm trying to figure out?

我在想，我是不是在自欺欺人。

I'm trying to figure out if I'm deluding myself.

我特别擅长这个。

Know I'm so good at that.

我们每个人都特别擅长这个。

We're all so good at that.

我们总是很容易说服自己，想要某样东西，其实几个小时前我们根本没多在意，可一旦失去了，反而更想要。

We're so good at convincing ourselves that we want something that, you know, an hour ago we didn't actually value that much but until we don't have it, we want it more.

所以我得提醒自己，别只是因为失去了前女友就想要她回来，你明白我的意思吗？

And so I'm conscious of not just wanting like my ex girlfriend back because I don't have it anymore do you know what I mean?