第五集：与自我怀疑的斗争

大家好。

Hello.

所以这周，我跟你们说了一些其实并不属实的话。

So this week, I I said something to you guys which wasn't actually true.

在《CEO日记》第四章里，我提到这周我会邀请一位朋友，他也是一位CEO，并且在他成为今天这个自己的过程中，经历了一段充满波折的旅程。

In chapter four of The Diary Of A CEO, I said that this week I'd be joined by a a friend of mine and a guest who's also a CEO and has gone through a tumultuous journey in their own path to becoming who they are today.

当我转向那位朋友，邀请他来到这档播客节目，并告诉他节目的形式——非常非常私人化，毫无保留，摒弃自我，只讲真话——的时候，

And when I turned to that friend and asked them to come on to this podcast and told them the format of the podcast and that it was very, very personal, it was no holds bar, it was ego free, and it was just the truth.

可惜，那位朋友婉拒了。

Unfortunately, that friend declined.

我也能理解。

And I understand that.

我明白，像这样深度、高规格的分享，并不是每个人都适合的。

I understand that sharing to this depth and sharing on this level isn't gonna be for everybody.

我可能有点过于乐观了，以为让CEO们以这种开放的方式参与分享会很容易。

And I was, I guess, a little bit too optimistic in thinking that it would be quite easy to get CEOs to come on and share in such an open way.

对我来说，要把生活的每一个细节都分享出来，其实也挺有挑战性的。

Even for me, I find it a challenge to to share every detail of my life.

这主要是因为当你经营一家公司时，就拿我来说，我们团队有150多人，加上更广泛的大团队，大概有400人。

And the reason for that often is because when you run a business, and in my case, we have over a 150 people within our team and then in the wider group team, there's probably about 400 people.

如果我说了什么容易引起争议的话，很有可能就会得罪某个人。

If I say something which is at all controversial, there's a high probability that I'll offend somebody.

而且我整个人生，对吧，我的灵感来源大部分都来自于我和周围人的互动。

And my whole life, right, all of my inspiration comes from well, most of it comes from my interaction with people around me.

而且碰巧的是，有时候跟我打交道的人，或者我身边的人，也都在 Social Chain 的团队或集团里工作。

And it just so happens that sometimes those interactions or those people around me also work within the teams at social chain or within social chain groups.

所以我明白这其中的风险。

So I understand why it's risky.

我完全理解这一点。

I completely get that.

就像我在每一期节目里都跟你们说的，我从这个播客中获得的收获对我来说非常宝贵，所以我一直坚持下来，始终坚守诚实的承诺。

What I've gained from this podcast, as I tell you every single chapter, is so valuable for me that I've continued and I've persisted with my commitment to being honest.

这也是我希望永远保持的一点。

And that's something I hope will never change.

这期节目只有我一个人。

This week, it's me on my own.

不过下周，我会再试一次，邀请一位特别的朋友来和我聊聊。他创办了全球规模最大的公司之一，但经历过一段极其艰难的历程，最近还因为严重的健康问题差点出大事。

But next week, I'm gonna try again and get a particular friend to come and join me and a particular friend who's built one of the biggest companies in the world, but has gone through one of the most grueling journeys, which ended in a very, very sort of big health issue quite recently.

我会再努力邀请他来做客。

I'm gonna try again and get him to come on.

不过如果他不愿意配合，那我也完全理解，我就去找别人试试。

But if he doesn't oblige, then I guess I completely understand, then I'll try somebody else.

好了，不多说了，这是第五章。

But without further ado, this is chapter five.

我是史蒂文·巴特莱特，欢迎来到《CEO日记》。

I'm Steven Bartlett and this is The Diary Of A CEO.

我希望没人听到，但如果你听到了，请替我保密。

I hope nobody's listening, but if you are, then please keep this to yourself.

好的。

Okay.

所以这周，我日记里的第一个话题是关于耐心和急躁。

So this week, the first point in my diary is about patience and impatience.

过去我一直非常推崇急躁这种心态。

I've historically been a huge advocate of impatience.

我天生就是个急性子，我觉得我的急躁有时候让人不太舒服，尤其是共事的时候。因为我总相信，事情其实可以比大多数人认为的要快得多完成，哪怕有时候这种想法并不对。

I am naturally an impatient person and my impatience, I think, sometimes makes me quite unpleasant to be around, especially to work with because I always believe, even sometimes wrongly, that things can be done faster than many people believe.

你知道的，哪怕是跟建筑工人打交道，或者在 Office Complete 上接新活儿，建筑工人都会告诉我，建这个东西得花一个月。

When, you know, even working with things like builders and getting on new Office Complete, the builders tell me it's gonna take a month to build something.

但实际上按工时算，我觉得两天就够了。

I know really in terms of hours it'll take, I don't know, two days.

但考虑到规划流程，还有周末休息这些各种因素，最后拖下来就得一个月。

But the way that planning and, you know, weekends and all these things come into come into the picture means that it then takes a month.

所以在我身边的人眼里，我一直是个特别没耐心的人。

And so I've always been, for the people around me, that force of impatience.

直到这周发生了件事，我才开始思考耐心这件事，以及这两者在我和曾经在我生活中扮演的角色。

And it wasn't until this week that something happened that I started to think about patience as well and the role that the two play and have played in my life.

我一直都很急躁，每天都这样。

I've always been impatient every day.

所以在处理任务的时候，我特别没耐心。

So when it comes to completing tasks, I'm horribly impatient.

我就是那种总上亚马逊，非要当天拿到快递的人。

I'm the guy that always goes on Amazon and tries to get things delivered on the same day.

我会购买服务，并且愿意为节省时间的服务付更多钱。

And I I will buy services and pay more for things that save me time.

因为我在之前的章节里反复强调过，对我来说，时间是我们所有人拥有的最重要的资产。

Because as I've stressed in my previous chapters, for me time is the single most important asset that we all have.

这也是我日记里的另一个要点，我稍后会提到。

And that's another point in my diary, which I'll get to in a second.

但这周我花了很多时间思考急躁和耐心之间的关系，其实是因为公司里一位年轻人向我提出了加薪的请求。

But the reason why I spent much of this week thinking about the relationship of impatience and patience was actually inspired by a young person within my business asking me for a pay rise.

这听起来确实有点奇怪，居然会从这么个角度去思考耐心和急躁之间的关系，但直到我开始解释什么是宏观的耐心、长期的耐心，以及它有多重要，我才真正想明白了。

And and that sounds that sounds like a a strange way to arrive at the the the patients versus impatient debate in your head, but it wasn't until I started to explain macro patients, long term patients and the importance of it that this all made sense to me.

我来具体说说我的意思。

And here's what I mean.

短期内，我特别没耐心。

So in the short term, I'm incredibly impatient.

我一直都是这样，但长期来看，我却出奇地有耐心。

I've always been, But long term, I've been incredibly patient.

过去七年，我一直埋头做生意，就是为了达到现在这个位置——虽然还没完全到位，但已经越来越接近了，目标是成功、财务自由和成就这些事。

For the last seven years, I've worked in business to get to a position, which I'm getting closer to now, but still a certain position of success and financial freedom and achievement and all those things.

对一个天生就急躁的人来说，愿意为一件事投入七年时间，这简直不可思议。

I've given seven years, which is an incredible amount of time for a very naturally impatient person to give to anything.

但我明白了一点：要想成为你想成为的人，实现那些重大的目标，我们都该做好投入十年的准备。

But what I realized is when it comes to becoming who I wanna become and fulfilling the the big achievements I I want to achieve, we should all expect to commit a decade to getting there.

我实在想不出，有哪个我敬佩的人，不是花了至少十年才走到终点、达成心愿的。

I can't really think of somebody who I admire that didn't put at least a decade into getting to the end game or their desired outcome.

这可不是一夜之间就能成的。

It doesn't happen overnight.

这话听着挺俗套，但确实，真的不是一夜之间就能成的。

So cliche to say, but it really, really doesn't happen overnight.

只有坏事才会在一夜之间发生。

Good things happen overnight.

你也许能一夜之间取得大胜，或者一夜之间搞定某些事。

You can have big wins overnight and you can get things done overnight.

但长远目标，如果它们真的够宏大，你就该做好投入十年时间的准备。

But the long term goals, if they're as great as they should be, you should expect to commit a decade to them.

回想我创业的第一年，当时是在Wallpark工作。我14岁就开始做生意了，不过咱们还是跳到18岁我正式创业的那段经历吧。

And and when I reflect on my first year in business, which was with, I guess, Wallpark, I started a business when I was 14, but skipping to the more serious business I started when I was 18.

第一年，我一分钱没赚到。

In the first year, I got paid zero.

我还得去呼叫中心兼职打工。

And I walked in worked in call centers on the side.

我干过你能想到的所有类型的呼叫中心，卖的东西五花八门，从人造草坪到Facebook广告，再到照相馆的拍摄套餐，甚至车险，什么都卖。

I worked in every call center you can possibly imagine, selling everything from artificial grass to Facebook ads to studio vouchers to get your photos taken to car insurance.

我啥都卖，但我的生意却没给我发一分钱。

I sold everything and my business paid me nothing.

真的，一分没有。

Apparently nothing.

第二年，我还是在呼叫中心干活，中间也在麦当劳打过一阵子工，那时候我的公司Wallpark，据我所知，还是没给我发工资。

In year two, again, I worked in call centers, I worked in McDonald's for a little while, and my business, Wallpark, at the time apparently paid me nothing.

到了创业第三年，因为拉到了投资人的钱，公司终于给我发了1300英镑的薪水。

In year three in business, my business finally, because I'd raised money from investors, was able to pay me £1,300 apparently.

然后第四年我离职，创办了Social Chain。

And then in year four, I left and I started Social Chain.

第四、五、六年，我拿到的报酬相当可观。

In year four, five and six, obviously, I was paid quite well.

如今我步入第七个创业年，公司正处在伦敦证券交易所重大并购和IPO的边缘，回首第一到第三年，我意识到那几年我得到的报酬比金钱更有价值，因为我学会了耐心。

And when I reflect coming into my seventh year in business in a in a year where our company is on the verge of a fairly large merger and IPO on the London Stock Exchange, I reflect on years one, two and three, and I realize that I was being paid in those years something much more valuable than money because I was patient.

头两年我学到了很多关于人的知识。

I learned in those first two years about people.

我学会了怎么拉投资。

I learned how to raise investment.

我跟全球最顶尖的品牌坐在一块儿，给它们做提案。

I sat with the biggest brands in the world and pitched to them.

我学到的东西，比钱值钱多了。

I learned things that were much, much, much more valuable than money.

如果我在早期阶段对实现整体目标缺乏耐心，没有准备好花七八年走到今天这一步，我绝对不可能有现在的成就。

And had I had impatience when it came to my overall goal in those early years, had I not been prepared to wait seven or eight years to get to the point where I am today, I never ever would have got here.

在短期内，我们往往低估了经验的价值。

And in the short term, we can often underappreciate the value of experience.

对我来说，我能取得任何成就的唯一原因，就是因为我拥有这些知识。

To me, the only reason that I've personally managed to achieve anything is because of what I know.

对吧？

Right?

还有我把这些知识付诸实践的能力。

And my ability to apply that.

我在想，到底是什么让我拥有了这些知识和实践能力呢？

And I think, okay, so what gave me what I know and my ability to apply that?

肯定不是我的薪水。

It certainly wasn't my paycheck.

而是我的经验。

It was my experience.

这对年轻人来说是一段非常极端的进阶经历，但那是属于我的经验。

And it was a very, very extreme advanced experience for a young person, but it was my experience.

所以，在和年轻人交流时，我认为最有价值的一点是，我目前正在全国进行巡回演讲，这个月要去九所大学，跟年轻人面对面交流。

And so the most valuable thing I think when speaking to young kids and I'm on a tour at the moment around the country, going to nine different universities this month and speaking to young people.

他们总是问我，是该继续留在大学读书，还是应该退学。

And they continually ask me about their decision to stay in university or drop out.

我给他们唯一的建议是：在人生的早期，乃至任何阶段，最有价值的东西就是拥有强大且贴合实际的真实世界经验。

And my one answer to them has been the most valuable thing you can get in your early years and really in any year of your life is powerful, relevant experience of the real world.

这比任何薪水都值钱，也比你能拿到的任何学位或文凭都值钱。

That is worth more than any paycheck, it's worth more than any degree or diploma you can get.

这就是延迟满足的定义。

And it's the definition of believing in delayed gratification.

这就是在说，好吧，此刻我可能还不是百万富翁。

It's the definition of saying, okay, in this moment, I might not be a millionaire.

我可能还没有实现巨大的财务自由，但我正在积累一些东西，这些东西将让我在余生中能够实现财务自由。

I might not be tremendously financially free, but I'm gaining something that for the rest of my life will enable me to be so.

对我来说，正是这种长期的耐心带来了巨大的不同。

And that's where for me that long term patience makes all the difference.

这是成功的必备条件。

It's a requirement of success.

所以，如果你现在觉得事情不太顺利，或者发现自己处于某种境地，比如觉得薪水不够高，或者因为还在上大学而觉得没选对方向、不喜欢这门课，又或者课程教给你的东西不够实用。

So if if it's not working out for you at the moment and if you find yourself in a position where you think you're you're maybe not being paid enough or you're not in in the right position because you're at university and you're not enjoying it or the course isn't teaching you the relevant information.

我给所有正在听这段内容的人的建议是：让自己处于一个能学到最多知识、最能弥补自身短板，同时也能尽可能发挥自身优势的位置。

My advice to everybody listening to this now is place yourself in a position where you're learning the most information and you're improving most on your weaknesses, but also getting better at your strengths as you possibly can.

18岁那年，我投身创业，虽然既没经验也没钱，但这绝对是我这辈子做过最棒的决定，因为这是让我迅速获得40岁人才那种阅历和见识的最快途径。

And throwing myself into a startup and entrepreneurial life at the age of 18 with no experience and no money was the single greatest decision I've ever made in my life because it was the fastest way for me to attain the information of a 40 year old.

我也正是这么做的。

And that's exactly what I did.

我常跟一起上课的同学说，我退学后的那三个月里，学到的关于现实世界和实用知识的深度，真心觉得比他们在那门课上花几年时间、再掏几万英镑学费所获得的还要多，而且说实话，那些课程里很多内容其实挺对口的。

I continually say to the people that did the course with me, I learned more in the three months after dropping out of university about the real world and real applicable sort of information than I genuinely believe all of the students on that course would have learned in three years and after paying tens and tens of thousands of pounds to to get that information, which I honestly believe is a lot of it is fairly relevant.

当我回顾这一切时，这就是我的故事。

And when I look at so that's me.

和我一起创办 Social Chain 的合伙人叫 Dom。

The other person involved in Social Chain who founded the company with me was Dom.

Dom 这个人，同样具备极强的长期耐心。

And Dom is again somebody who practiced incredible patience long term.

我刚认识 Dom 的时候，就让他退学，来跟我一起创业。

When I met Dom, I asked Dom to drop out of university and join me in my startup.

我开出的月薪是 500 英镑。

I offered to pay him £500 a month.

那一年，他是我见过最拼命的人，而那孩子每个月只拿五百英镑。

And for a year, he was the hardest working person I've ever seen in my life and the kid was paid £500 a month.

对吧？

Right?

五年后，Dom开上了奔驰。

Fast forward five years, Dom has a Mercedes Benz.

他买了自己的房子。

He has his own house.

他想做什么就做什么。

He does whatever he wants to do.

他能去世界上任何地方旅行，但这一切都源于他那份长期的耐心。

He can travel wherever he wants in the world, but only because he practiced that long term patience.

如果Dom在我认识他时，十九岁那年跑来跟我说：史蒂夫，你不加薪我就不干了。

Had Dom come to me when he was 19 years old when I met him and said, Steve, I'm not gonna do this unless you give me a pay rise.

说实话，我真给不起。

Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to.

而且德姆很可能早就朝着短期多赚钱的方向走了。

And there's a high probability Dom would have moved in the direction of more money short term.

这其实就是所谓的短期急躁、长期缺乏耐心，对吧？

And that's the definition of practicing short term, long term impatience, right?

幸运的是，德姆没有那样做。

But thankfully Dom didn't.

德姆选择相信自己，置身于一个信息极度密集、常人难以企及的极端环境，七年之后，他之所以能获得丰厚的财务回报，全靠他积累的这些信息。

Dom took a bet on himself being in a very sort of high information situation, an extreme situation that most people aren't in and then fast forward seven years, Dom is now an individual who can achieve great financial sort of draw because of the information he has.

所以我想对所有人说：千万别在日常生活中丢掉你的短期急躁感，抱歉，我说的是每天都要有。

So my message to everybody is never ever ever ever lose your short term impatience, sorry, on a day to day.

我离不开这个劲儿。

I need that.

我特别珍惜它。

I cherish it.

这是保护你时间的一种方式。

It's a way to protect your time.

但长远来看，你得有耐心。

But long term, you have to be patient.

一旦你决定放弃或者在长期目标上失去耐心，那你这辈子就只会得到短期的结果。

And the minute you decide or the minute you lose your patience long term, then you'll spend your whole life with short term results.

好的。

Okay.

日记里的下一个要点是关于自我分析。这周我花了一些时间做自我剖析，想找出我觉得最能提升的几个方面。

The next point in my diary is about self analysis and this week I've spent some time self analyzing and trying to figure out the areas which I think I can improve on most.

说实话，真正花时间自我剖析的人真的不多。

You know, very, very few of us actually spend any time at all self analyzing.

不过当我反思自己的短板时，我真心觉得，这些弱点我其实一辈子都清楚，但从来没真正去解决过。

But when I came to think about where my weaknesses are, I genuinely believe I've known about them for my whole life and I've never really, really addressed them.

我知道自己一直力挺大家去放大自己的优势，但事实上，我们每个人都有那些拖后腿的弱点，反而限制了优势的发挥。

And you know, I'm a big advocate of people doubling down on their strengths, but we all have weaknesses that actually hinder our strengths.

对吧？

Right?

坦白说，在我看来，我的弱点或者说如果我改进了就能让表现或产出翻倍的领域，主要有两点。

So full disclosure, my weaknesses in my own opinion or the areas where I think, you know, if I fixed that, I could double my performance or I could double my output are two things.

第一点是自律。

Self discipline is the first one.

正如我在前面章节提到的，自律基本上就是能够去做你想做的事。

So self discipline, as I've said in previous chapters, is basically being able to do what you want to do.

这是我能给出的最简单的定义，也就是说，如果我想去健身房，我就能真的逼自己去。

That's like the simplest definition I can give, which means that if I want to go to the gym, then I'll actually be able to get myself to go.

对我来说，这就是自律。

That's self discipline for me.

意思是说，如果我想坐下来工作，现在就开始干活，我就能把自己从Netflix里拽出来，离开床铺，去把那活儿干了。

It means that if I want to sit and work and do a piece of work right now, I'll be able to get myself off Netflix, out of my bed, and to do that piece of work.

大家可能会想，好吧，史蒂夫，你还挺年轻的，你知道的，是个年轻小伙子，而且在你做的事情上也算挺成功的。

And I think people think, okay, Steve, you're a fairly young, you know, you're a young guy, you've you've you've fairly successful in what you've done.

那你的自律肯定百分之百完美吧。

Surely, your self discipline is 100% perfect.

不对。

Wrong.

我的自律有时候表现得很好。

My self discipline sometimes is fantastic.

但有时候也没那么理想。

My self discipline sometimes is not so fantastic.

这主要取决于具体的任务内容，以及我完成这项任务所面临的压力。

And it really depends what the task is and what the sort of pressures are for me to complete that task.

不过，我正在经历一段非常个人的旅程，来提升我的自律能力，因为我真心相信，想要掌控世界、实现任何目标，关键在于内心。

However, I'm on a very personal journey to improve my self discipline because I really, really, really believe that the key to owning the world and owning anything you want to do starts within.

这一切都从掌控自己开始。

It starts with mastering yourself.

不知为何，作为人类，我们每个人都有自律方面的问题，只是程度不同而已。

And for some reason, all of us as human beings, every single person listening to this now has self discipline issues and we have self discipline issues to varying degrees.

有些人能够轻松地在早上六点起床去健身房。

Some of you will be able to generally pick yourself up and go to the gym at 6AM in the morning.

你能把活儿干完。

You'll be able to get your work done.

你知道，你的自律程度大概在70%左右。

You know, you'll probably be performing at about a 70% self discipline.

有些人只能坚持一天，然后就放弃，回到舒适区，自律程度大概只有20%。

Some of you will only be able to get yourself to do that for one day and then you'll quit and go back to comfort And you're operating at about 20%.

我的个人目标，也是让我成为顶尖高手、真正掌控自己的关键，就是达到95%的自律水平。这也是我所有目标的核心。

My personal mission and the thing the one thing that I think will make me an elite performer and sort of master myself, which again is much of my well, all of my goal is getting to 95 self discipline.

这也是我目前的一个短板。

And and that's one of my weaknesses at the moment.

有时候我就是提不起劲去做自己想做的事。

Sometimes I'm unable to get myself to do what I wanna do.

另外，通过自我剖析，我发现对我帮助最大、提升空间最大的领域是时间管理，这一点我在上一章也提到过。

And the second thing that I sort of learned from self analyzing, the one area which I think will have the biggest upside for me is, as I touched on in the last chapter, time management.

这周我读了一本书，讲的是那些顶尖高手背后的秘密，几乎所有人都把良好的时间管理视为成功的关键。

And this week I read a book about the secret sort of source behind the world's most elite performers, and virtually all of them cited good time management as a way to be more successful.

随着我一路走来的经历，我越来越意识到时间隐藏的珍贵之处。

And I've, you know, the more and more I've gone on my journey, I've realized the hidden importance of time.

时间是你永远、永远、永远、永远都回不来的东西。

Time is something that you never ever, ever, ever get back.

这是我们唯一能用来经营自己人生的资源。

It's all we have to deploy against our own lives.

对吧？

Right?

我看时间管理就像在赌场的轮盘赌桌前下注，你是把筹码押在不同的活动上。

And I look at my time management almost like a roulette table and you're placing your chips against certain activities.

我的意思是，我会说，好吧，我要花一个小时的筹码来做这件事，再花一个小时的筹码做那件事，然后转动轮盘，看看你把时间投在这些任务上能不能获得回报。

So I'm saying, okay, I'm gonna spend an hour worth of chips on doing this task and an hour worth of chips doing this task and then you spin the wheel and you see if you if placing your time against those tasks returns an investment.

我们很多人因为时间管理不好，最后都浪费了时间。

And a lot of us, because we have poor time management, end up wasting time.

所以我们的筹码还没用完，就直接扔出桌子外了，因为我们在网上瞎逛，花时间在Netflix上，或者陷入YouTube的无底洞——就是你本来想看点东西，结果一个小时后却在刷猫视频，我们都干过这种事。

So we we we get half of our chips and just throw them just off the table somewhere because we we wander around the Internet, we spend time on Netflix, we go into the YouTube hole, which is when you start watching something and you end up an hour later watching cat videos, we all do that.

好的。

Okay.

我们每个人都是这样。

Every single one of us.

我一直在找办法改善时间管理。

And and I've been looking at ways to be better at time management.

这周我看到一个建议，说别光靠待办清单，该用日历把时间块出来，专门安排具体的事情。

And one of the suggestions that I read about this week was instead of working to to do lists, work to a calendar and block out moments and times within your calendar to do specific tasks.

我以前一直用待办清单，但这周刚开始把时间安排到日历里。

I currently use a to do list, and earlier this week I started blocking my time against the calendar.

比如晚上八点到九点，我就专门用来完成演讲。

So I'd say at 8PM for that hour, that's when I finish my speech.

九点，我就去健身房。

At nine, that's when I go to the gym.

十点，我就做那件事。

At ten, that's when I do that task.

这样我就能更好地掌控自己的时间了。

And that allowed me to control my time.

我真心建议大家也试试这个方法。

I honestly recommend it to everybody.

在那之前，我总有一张长得让人望而生畏的待办清单，上面列着好多必须在近期完成的任务。

Before that, I just had a very, very long to do daunting to do list of tasks that I have to complete at some point soon.

而那样的清单很容易让人产生拖延心理。

And that allows for procrastination.

这样就能顺便挤出一个小时来看Netflix。

That allows for, oh, just slip in an hour there for Netflix.

结果就是，你整个晚上都在看Netflix，然后最后时刻才匆忙赶任务，导致做得一团糟。

And what happens is you spend all evening watching Netflix and then you scramble to complete your tasks last minute and you do a poor job on those tasks.

所以这周我学到的一个关键点，而且我会继续跟大家分享我在时间管理上的进展，因为我想再说一次，时间管理是我们所有人都必须掌握的最重要的技能，还有自律。

So the one of the key things I've learned this week, and I'll continue to keep you updated about my my battle with time management because I will say it again, time management is the single most important thing all of us can master, that and self discipline.

我觉得对时间的利用是最重要的，但自律才是管理好时间的方式。

I I think the use of your time is the most important thing, but self discipline is is is is how you manage it.

所以，这就是我对自己的分析。

So, yeah, that's my self analysis of myself.

目前我打算重点改进的就是这两点。

And those are the two key things at the moment that I will be working on.

好的。

Okay.

接下来，我日程里的下一个事项其实是个问题。

So the next point in my diary is actually a question.

这周我在一场足球赛上被人问到了这个问题。

And it's a question I got asked this week by somebody at a football game.

我去看了曼联对切尔西的比赛。

So I went to watch Manchester United play Chelsea.

我们输了，简直糟透了。

We lost, which was absolutely terrible.

我带了一个从YouTube认识的朋友一起去，跟他聊了聊我们社交群组里的进展。

And I took a friend with me from YouTube and I was telling him about the things we're doing within the social chain group and how it's progressing.

中场休息的时候，他问我一个问题，这个问题经常被问到。

And he turned to me at half time and asked me a question, which I get asked quite a lot.

我最后决定干脆公开说说，让这成为最终的答案。

And I finally wanted to just let it out there and kind of let this be the answer once and for all.

问题是，你肯定为自己感到骄傲吧。

The question was, you must be so proud of yourself.

对这个问题的诚实回答，非常诚实的回答是，我并不为自己感到骄傲。

And the honest answer to that question, honest honest honest answer to that question is I'm not proud of myself.

我来解释一下，因为这听起来有点难。

And I'll explain that because that sounds kind of tough.

对吧？

Right?

在我生活的这个世界里，节奏太快了，变化也太迅速，以至于你根本没时间为自己感到骄傲。

In the world that I live in, it's so fast paced, it's so quickly moving that you don't, a, you don't get much time to be proud of yourself.

对我来说，我害怕为自己感到骄傲，因为那会显得自满。

For me, I fear being proud of myself because it reeks of complacency.

有时候我会佩服自己的行为方式，有时候也会欣赏自己的为人，或者自己待人接物的态度。

Sometimes I admire the way I act and sometimes I admire who I am or the way that I treat people.

我欣赏自己身上具备的这些特质。

I admire those characteristics in myself.

但归根结底，我还是那个孩子，只是所处的环境变了。

But at the very, very core, I'm still the same kid, but my circumstances have changed.

所以从内心深处来说，我并没有改变。

So I was the same inside of me, I've not changed.

对吧？

Right?

我十八岁的时候就是那个样子的，自信满满、野心勃勃，是个要么成功要么放弃的年轻人。

I was the same kid at 18, the same self believing, ambitious, do or die kid at 18 years old.

其实我并没有变，只是现在能产生影响，世界也开始意识到我就是那个自信、有野心、无所畏惧的年轻人，但我本质上还是那个十八岁的少年。

All that's happened is I've been able to create an impact and the world has started to realize that I'm that ambitious kid that was self self believing and had a very sort of fearless attitude, but I've always been the same kid.

对吧？

Right?

另外一点是，在我的人生旅程中，我每一天都亲身经历着。

And the other point is that in my world, I've been there every single day in the journey.

从18岁起，我就一直在路上，每个小时、每一天，从来没有哪一刻是靠中彩票之类的运气。

I've been there since I was 18, every single hour, every single day and at no point was there really a moment where I like won the lottery or anything.

在我心里，这就像一步一步，不停地往上爬楼梯。

For me in my head it's just been one foot in front of the other continually up this staircase.

现在我站在第80级台阶上，对吧？

And right now I'm on staircase, let's say Staircase Number 80, right?

当初从第0级爬到第1级，再从1级到2级、2级到3级的时候，我根本没庆祝，因为那只是迈了一小步，我本来就在这条路上。

And when I climbed from zero to one and then one to two and two to three, didn't celebrate because that was just one step and I was there.

但当别人在第80级遇到我时，他们看到我站在那里，就会想：天啊，你一定为自己感到特别骄傲吧。

But when someone comes along and they meet me at Step 80 in my life, I see how they can look at me stood on Step 80 and think, wow, you must be so proud of yourself.

可我心里总是想：其实没有，上个月我还在第79级，现在只是到了第80级，哪值得庆祝一步之遥呢？

And I always think to myself, I'm like, no, because I'm just I was on step 79 last month and now I'm on step 80, so I'm not gonna celebrate a step.

你明白我的意思吗？

Do you know what I mean?

回过头看，确实有那么几个瞬间，我在切尔西的时候，就在你问完我那个问题之后，我心里想，天哪，我真怀疑自己有没有真正、真正、真正地意识到自己会走到今天这一步。

Upon reflection, there are moments though when and I had one at Chelsea just after you asked me that question where I was like, Christ, I wonder if you ever really, really, really, really knew you'd be here.

你一直相信自己能做到，但你是真的、真的深信不疑吗？

You always believed you would, but did you really, really believe?

是的。

Yeah.

而且往往就是在那样的时刻。

And it's always in those those moments.

我在第一章和第二章里跟你聊过关于拒绝这件事。

I I talked to you in chapter two chapter one and chapter two about no.

第二章讲的是我坐在伦敦那间会议室里，周围全是投行人士和律师，心里想着：天哪，我怎么会混到这一步？

Was chapter two about being sat in that boardroom with investment bankers and lawyers in London and thinking, fuck, like, you know, how did I get here?

我确实会有这种奇怪的瞬间，但说实话，也就持续三秒钟，然后我就回过神来。

But I have those weird moments, but those honestly, they last three seconds and then I click out of it.

最后一点，我开头其实也提过，那就是害怕自满。

And the last point on this is, again, I kind of touched on it at the start, but it's a fear of complacency.

你知道的，事情越大，摔得越惨。

I'm I'm you know, the bigger something is, the harder it falls.

对吧？

Right?

这话虽然老套，但确实太真实了。

That's a cliche, but it's so fucking true.

我一直都很警惕，说实话，我害怕自己变得安逸和自满，因为我觉得一旦舒服了、松懈了，就会失去专注力。

And I am always fearful, and I can be honest about this, I'm fearful about getting comfortable and complacent because I think when you get comfortable and complacent, you lose your focus.

一旦你失去了专注，你就有可能失去一切。

And when you lose your focus, you're at risk of losing everything.

所以我觉得我和Dom，还有那些从最开始就一直在的人，我们现在的重点就是做好今天的工作，把今天过好。

And so I think myself and Dom and some of the other sort of people that have been there since the very, very start, we're also focused on just doing a good job today and advancing today.

我们不想把任何时间或精力浪费在回顾过去、自我表扬上，我就是这么形容的。

And we don't wanna commit any time, any mental energy in the cup of looking back and reflecting and patting ourselves on the back, and this is kind of how I described it.

关于这一点，这就是最后一个补充说明。

This is the last point on this on this particular note.

你可以想象面前有两个杯子，手里有100颗彩虹糖。对吧？这些糖代表你的注意力或专注力。对我来说，我有100颗这样的糖，我可以选择把它们放进写着‘回顾过去’的杯子里，也可以放进写着‘关注今天和未来’的杯子里。

If you imagine there's two cups in front of you and you have a 100 Skittles, right, and your Skittles represent attention or focus, For me, I get a 100 of those Skittles and I can either put them in the cup that says looking back on my past or I can put them in the cup that says looking at today and the future.

对我来说，我会选择把所有的注意力，每一颗糖都放进‘今天和未来’这个杯子里，因为这是对我时间、精力和专注力最好的利用。

For me, I make the choice to put all of my attention, every single Skittle in the cup of today and the future because that's the that's the best use of my time, energy, and focus.

我基本上就是这么看的。

And that's basically how I see it.

所以当有人问我，你一定很为自己感到骄傲吧。

So when people ask me, you must be so proud of yourself.

不是。

No.

我没时间沾沾自喜，我每天都全力以赴。

I've not had time to be proud of myself and I've been there every single day.

我日记里记的下一点是：人人都是骗子，以及和内心自我怀疑的斗争。

The next point in my diary, I've just written down everybody is a fraud and the battle with self doubt.

那我为什么写人人都是骗子呢？

So why did I write everyone is a fraud?

这周早些时候有两个孩子来找我。

I had two kids come and see me earlier in the week.

他们是初创企业的创业者，他们告诉我学校请他们去分享经验，但他们觉得自己有点名不副实。

They are startup entrepreneurs and they told me that their school had asked them to come and speak and they felt a little they felt a little fraudulent.

那一刻我突然意识到，每个人都会觉得自己有点像个冒牌货。

And I it dawned on me in that moment that everybody feels a little bit like a fraud.

我有一个朋友，可以说是他所在行业里全球最成功的创业者之一，我们私下聊过自我怀疑和他的感受，他告诉我他也觉得自己像个冒牌货。

I've got a friend who is one of the most successful entrepreneurs, I would say, in his industry in the world, and I've had private conversations with him about self doubt and how he feels, and he's told me that he feels like a fraud.

这个人创造的东西现在价值数百亿英镑，还建立了一家伟大的公司，颠覆了整个行业，但他却觉得自己是个冒牌货。

This is a guy that produced something that is now worth billions and billions and billions of pounds and built a great company which disrupted a whole industry and he feels like a fraud.

我们在某种程度上都会觉得自己像个冒牌货。

We all feel like a fraud to some degree.

这并不代表我们不相信自己。

It doesn't mean we don't believe in ourselves.

这仅仅意味着，当你发现自己身处从未经历过的境地时，感到自己能力不足，或者觉得自己在边做边摸索，这是非常非常自然的事情。

It just means that it's very, very natural whenever you find yourself in a position that you've not been in before to feel slightly unqualified or that you're kind of making it up as you go along.

当我回想起自己的经历时，18岁那年，我走进了全球最大的品牌公司，跟他们说我要在自己的网站上为他们做推广，那时候我确实觉得自己像个骗子，因为我从来没干过这事儿。

And, you know, when I reflect on my personal journey, of course, 18 years old when I walked in and met the biggest brand in the world and told them about how I was gonna market them on my website, I felt a bit like a fraud because I'd never done that before.

所以我当时说的那些话，其实都是在猜该说什么。

So what I was saying was guessing at what I should be saying.

对吧？

Right?

所以我想对所有听这段话的人说：每个人都会觉得自己像个骗子。

So my message to everybody listening to this is everybody feels like a fraud.

如果你也有这种感觉，那恰恰说明你正在突破自己的舒适区。

And if you do feel like a fraud, it's a great sign that you're working just outside your comfort zone.

接下来我要讲的，就像我这里写的，是关于自我怀疑。

And the next point is is as I've written here is about self doubt.

当人产生自我怀疑时，往往会觉得自己不够格。

And I think, you know, people feel unworthy when they feel self doubt.

他们以为那些成功的创业者从来都没有过自我怀疑。

They think that all great entrepreneurs felt no self doubt at any point ever.

那都是瞎扯。

That is bullshit.

每个人在某个阶段都会产生自我怀疑。

Everybody at some point feels self doubt.

这跟刚才说的冒充者综合征有点关联。

And it's kinda like linked to the point about being a fraud.

当我们去做以前没做过的事情时，就会感到怀疑。

We feel doubtful when we do things we've not done before.

听这档播客的朋友，在穿鞋这件事上可不会有什么自我怀疑。

Nobody listening to this podcast feels any self doubt when it comes to putting on your shoes.

对吧？

Right?

打开冰箱拿东西的时候，也没人会自我怀疑。

Nobody feels self doubt when it comes to opening the fridge.

对我来说，自我怀疑通常出现在你准备做某件事，却没有任何成功案例可以参考的时候。

Self doubt for me comes when you have you don't have a case study for an action you're prop you're about to partake in.

比如创业，或者做任何超出你平常范围的事情。

So like starting a business or straying anywhere outside of your normal functions.

所以，自我怀疑完全是正常的。

So self doubt again is completely normal.

我日记里下一点讲的是如何建立自信。

The next point in my diary is about how to build self confidence.

我记下这个，是因为这周在伯恩茅斯大学演讲时，有个年轻人过来找我，他看起来特别不自信。

I've written this down because a kid came up to me when I was speaking in Bournemouth University this week and he asked me, he said, was a very unconfident young chap.

他说：我想创业。

And he said, listen, I wanna start a business.

我有很多想法，但就是缺乏自信。

I've got all these ideas, but I just I just struggle with self confidence.

这和觉得自己是个骗子、有自我怀疑的感觉紧密相关。

And this is very closely linked to the point of feeling like a fraud and self doubt.

这让我开始思考。

And it got me thinking.

所以，对于那些缺乏自信的人，我的结论是这样的。

And my conclusion for everybody that has a struggle with a lack of confidence is is this.

我们在面对让自己感到不舒服的事情时，都会缺乏自信。

We all feel unconfident at things which make us feel uncomfortable.

对吧？

Right?

比如，如果你以前没在夜店里搭讪过女生，这可能会让你感到没自信。

So like walking up to a girl in a nightclub, if you've not done that before, can make you feel unconfident.

说到走上舞台面对一千人演讲，如果你以前没做过，感到极度缺乏自信是很正常的。

When it comes to walking up on stage and speaking in front of a thousand people, if you've not done that before, you can understandably feel incredibly unconfident.

我第一次上台面对五十个人的时候，胃里直翻腾，觉得自己特别没自信。

And when I when I first walked up on stage and I felt that feeling in my stomach in front of 50 people, I felt very, very uncom unconfident.

结果我说话磕磕巴巴，表现糟透了。

And I stumbled across my words and I I performed pathetically.

我第一次尝试跟心仪的女生搭话时，也觉得自己特别没自信，表现同样很糟糕。

The first time I tried to speak to an attractive girl, I felt incredibly unconfident and I my performance was again terrible.

她估计是走掉了。

She probably walked away.

我记不清第一个女孩的具体情况了，但我猜我当时肯定挺丢人的。

I can't really remember the first girl, but I imagine I was pathetic.

说到跟女孩接吻，我记得那天，因为我表现得简直糟透了。

When it came to kissing a girl, I remember that day because I was fucking atrocious.

我差点把她的脸都啃下来了，之后整整一年，朋友们都拿我当个笑话，说我这个家伙连吻个嘴都像在啃脸。

I nearly ate her face off and I and I was rebuked with my friends for the next year for being a guy that eats girls faces off.

我真不敢相信我会跟你们说这些。

I can't believe I'm telling you this.

但对我来说，建立自信的关键就是多待在让自己不舒服的环境里，因为第一次上台时，我特别没自信。

But the key for me to build confidence is to spend more time in uncomfortable situations because I was uncon unconfident the first time I walked up on stage.

但坚持了三年后，现在我能面对成千上万的人演讲，有一次在一个会议上，台下有一千五百人，我的自信心大大增强了，这完全是因为我享受那种不适感。

But after doing that for three years, now speaking in front of thousands and thousands of people, at one conference I spoke at 1,500 people, My confidence has grown, and it's only because I enjoyed the uncomfortableness of it.

所以我给那个孩子的建议是，你知道，你现在在做什么呢？

And so my advice to this kid was, you know, what are you doing right now?

他跟我说，他平时跟儿子们一起看奈飞。

And he told me he, you know, he plays Netflix with his boys.

周末的时候，他就看足球比赛。

On the weekend, he watches the football.

他就干这个。

That's all he does.

所以让他去演讲、创业，他当然会没信心。

So when it comes to speaking and starting a business, of course, he's gonna feel unconfident.

他从来没做过这些事。

He's never done it before.

全是未知领域，而且他觉得失败或者出丑的风险特别高。

It's a total unknown and there's a high perceived risk of failing or making yourself look stupid.

所以我给他的建议是两方面的。

So my advice was was kind of twofold.

他得主动多往不舒服的环境里扎。

He needs to throw himself in more uncomfortable situations.

这就是建立自信的方法。

That's how you build confidence.

这也是我建立自信的唯一途径。

That's the only way I've built my confidence.

我之所以能建立起对着镜头拍摄的自信，全靠每天坚持拍摄，并且硬着头皮熬过那种恐惧和不适感。

The only way I built my confidence to film myself every single day and talk directly down the camera was by doing it and by persevering past the point of that dread and feeling of uncomfortableness.

所以，我想给那些在个人自信方面有困扰的人一个建议：主动把自己扔进不舒服的环境里。

So one thing I want to recommend for anybody who struggles with personal confidence issues is to throw yourself in uncomfortable situations.

这周我想让你发一个关于特定主题的 Facebook 直播视频，并且记得在视频里@我。

I want you to do a Facebook Live video this week on a particular topic and tag me in it.

我觉得 Facebook 直播是建立自信特别好的方式。

I think Facebook Live is a fantastic way of building confidence.

只要你坚持做10个 Facebook 直播视频，我向你保证，你的自信心一定会提升。

If you do 10 Facebook Live videos, I promise you, I promise you your confidence will build.

但很有可能，这也是缺乏自信的人常做的事，他们一旦开始 Facebook 直播，或者尝试去做那些让他们感到不适的事情时，就会感到抵触。

But the chances are, and this is what unconfident people do, they'll go on Facebook live or they'll go in the direction of that uncomfortable act and they'll feel that resistance.

他们会感到胸口发闷，觉得自己蠢透了，从此再也不敢尝试，一辈子都活在舒适区里，缺乏自信。

They'll feel that thing in their chest, they'll feel that they look stupid and they'll never ever do it again and they'll live their life feeling unconfident and within their comfort zone.

我再重复一遍，建立自信的关键，就是多让自己待在不舒服的环境里。

Just to repeat, the key to build confidence is to spend more time in uncomfortable situations.

这和我之前播客里提到的一个观点紧密相关——故意让自己挣扎。就像肌肉纤维一样，我深信，成长就是靠突破极限。

And that links quite closely to one of the points I said in one of my earlier podcasts about struggling on purpose because just like muscle fiber, I I'm a great great believer that the way you grow is by breaking.

对吧？

Right?

你得主动打破那些焦虑感，去开Facebook直播，站上舞台，做产品推介，去销售，去尝试。

And you've got to break down those those feelings of anxiety by throwing yourself into Facebook Live or by standing up on stage or by pitching or by selling or by trying.

我觉得自信就跟肌肉纤维一样。

And I think confidence is much like muscle fiber.

必须先打破，才能重建。

You have to break it in order to build it.

而很多时候，这意味着要在某些场合里让自己出丑。

And and often that often means making a tit yourself in certain situations.

当我提到刻意去经历挣扎时，这很大程度上关乎自信，但也关乎人生整体的进步。

And when I talk about struggling on purpose, much of that is is to do with confidence, but it's also to do with general progression in life.

回想起来，那些让我最艰难、最挣扎的时刻，比如第一次不得不辞退员工，第一次向投资人推销，或者十八岁那年因为信用太差，所有银行都拒绝给我开户，我急得直掉眼泪的那一刻。

And the way that when I look back, the moments where I struggled, the moments I found toughest, whether that was the first time I had to let somebody go from the business or the first time I had to pitch to an investor or the moment I cried when all of the bank accounts when I was 18 years old said they wouldn't give me a bank account because my credit was so bad.

还有那次我们被黑客攻击，所有客户都收到了骚扰信息，几乎导致我们失去全部业务的那一刻。

The moment we got hacked and all of our clients were contacted and we lost virtually all of our business.

正是这些挣扎的时刻塑造了今天的我。

Those are the moments of struggle that defined me.

那些艰难的时刻，带给我的收获比人生任何其他阶段都要多。

The moments of struggle gave me more than any other moment in my life.

那些顺风顺水的日子，不过是生活对你已有认知的确认罢了。

The moments where things are easy, that's just life validating what you already know.

这就像生活告诉你：没错，你之前认为正确的，确实是对的。

That's life telling you, okay, what you thought was true is true.

但当我经历痛苦、挣扎和各种磨难时，某些东西破碎了、撕裂了，而这反而让我变得更强大。

But when I went through pain and struggle and all hardship, something broke, something tore and that made me stronger.

所以当你感受到抗拒时，我恳请你明白，这正是你成长的时刻。

And so I implore you when you feel that resistance, understand that this is your growth moment.

这是一个会让你变得更好、更有能力的时刻。

This is a moment which is gonna make you better and more capable for the future.

这或许是人生中最珍贵的时刻。

And that's the most valuable moment in all of our lives.

最后一点，和往常一样，我想聊聊我的前女友。

And last point, as always, I wanted to end on a little bit about my girlfriend.

准确说，是我的前女友。

Well, my ex girlfriend.

我们现在已经不是情侣了。

She's not my girlfriend anymore.

我每期播客都会谈到感情关系，这次也一样，再聊一次吧。

I've talked about relationships in every single podcast I've done, so I'm gonna end on relationships once again.

在上两期播客里，我谈到了对前女友的思念。

In my last two podcasts, I talked about missing my ex girlfriend.

我们分手了。

We broke up.

她搬到了地球的另一端，事情就这样了。

She moved to the other side of the world and that's that.

她曾经是我的私人助理，我们关系非常非常非常亲密。她对我生活的方方面面都了如指掌，深入到了我内心的深处，我觉得以前没人能做到这一点，这让我能够做真实的自己。

And she was once my PA and we got very, very, very close and she knew everything about my life and she got to a depth within me that I don't think anyone's really got to before, which allowed me to be myself.

这种情况很罕见，因为我的性格使然，加上我对感情一直持消极态度，所以我从未真正让任何人走进得这么深。

And that's rare because it's it's it's because of the way that I'm I'm built and because of my negative perception of relationships, I've never really let anybody get that far.

所以我觉得我之所以这么想她，很大程度上是因为我怀念那种被她深深理解的感觉。

And so I think much of the reason why I've missed her is because I miss somebody understanding me to the level that she understood me.

而且，很难再有人能达到那种理解我的程度，因为我特别不擅长维持任何浪漫关系，通常超过三到六个月我就搞不定了。

And when someone it's gonna be quite hard for someone to get to that level with me because I'm so I'm so bad at sustaining a relationship or any sort of, you know, any sort of romantic relationship with somebody for more than three to six months.

对吧？

Right?

我倾向于逃避，因为我父母向我展示的关系模式都是负面的。

I tend to, like, run away from it because of the way that my parents showed me this model of relationships being a negative thing.