最常回放片段：自信可以培养！善用这些肢体语言技巧助你成功！

那姿势呢？

What about posture?

因为这是让你看起来更高的一种方法。

Because that's kind of one way to make yourself taller.

是啊。

Yeah.

从一个人的姿势中能看出什么线索吗？

Are there any clues in someone's posture?

通过调整姿势来营造不同印象有多重要？

And how important is sort of playing with our posture to create a different impression?

是的，完全正确。

Yeah, absolutely.

不是姿势，而是领地意识。

Not posture, but territory.

所以我认为姿势就是当我们显得自信时，肩膀后展，呼吸平稳的样子。

So I look at posture as when we look confident, shoulders back, our breathing.

对我来说，姿态始于大脑，取决于我们呼吸时的平静程度。

To me posture starts with the brain how calm we are in our breathing.

我最近又在瓦伦西亚参加活动时，一位女士走过来问我

I was again in Valencia at this event and a lady came up to me and she says You're getting ready to go on the stage.

你即将上台，怎么可能不紧张呢？

How can you not be nervous?

我回答说，其实我很紧张。

And I said, Well, I am nervous.

我只是在掩饰它。

I'm just hiding it.

我表现得好像一切尽在掌控。

I'm acting like I'm in control.

但学会这样做是因为你不想看起来像个紧张的FBI探员。

But learned to do that because you don't want to look like a nervous FBI agent.

相信我。

Trust me.

你要表现得冷静、沉着、镇定。

You want to look cool, calm, and collected.

在谈判中，你不想显得需求感过强。

In negotiations, you don't want look needy.

你不想显得绝望。

You don't want to look desperate.

同时，你也不想让人觉得你漠不关心。

And at the same time, you don't want to come across as you're indifferent.

有时那种神态、姿态、手势，整体组合起来蕴含深意。

And sometimes that demeanor, that posture, those gestures, the totality of it has a lot of meaning.

现在你要记住，我遇到的很多成功商人其实都在自闭症谱系上。

Now you have to keep in mind, a lot of successful businessmen I'm running into are actually on So the autism spectrum.

所以他们不会进行太多眼神交流。

And so they don't make as much eye contact.

他们可能有些非常规的行为。

They may have behaviors that are irregular.

我接触过一位患有阿斯伯格综合症的人，他有时会突然抽搐。

I have one I deal with who has Asperger's and so he sometimes jerks.

我发现其他人很难解读他的行为，感到很不自在。

And so there's a lot of discomfort I find from others in reading him.

我倒没有任何问题。

I don't have any problem.

我只是客观看待这些行为。

I just see it.

好吧，这就是他的正常行为模式，我们适应就好。

Okay, this is his normal behaviors and we get it around.

但你能从一个人身上看出很多信息。

But you can tell a lot about a person.

当你进行投资时，在做尽职调查与人交谈时，是的，你可以整天盯着数据看。

And when you've invested in things, you're doing your diligence and you're talking to people, yeah, you can look at the numbers all day long.

但你同时也在观察非语言信号：他们是否传递出自信？

But you also are looking at the nonverbals and saying, are they communicating confidence?

或者他们是否在传达欲望、需求或任何形式的脆弱？

Or are they communicating desire or need or any kind of frailty?

我刚刚在反思最近进行的几场面试。

I I was just reflecting on a few of the interviews I've had recently.

我们一直在为一个非常非常高级的职位面试候选人。

We've been interviewing for one particular very, very senior role.

是的。

Yep.

当时有两名进入最终阶段的候选人。

And there were two final stage candidates.

正如你所说，我正在反思其中一位最终候选人表现得极为平静，靠在椅背上，而另一位则明显前倾着身子。

And I was just reflecting, as you were saying, how one of the final stage candidates was extremely calm and sat back in their chair, and the other one was very much leaning forward.

经过反思，第二位候选人显然更渴望得到这份工作。

And upon reflection, the second candidate wanted the job a lot more.

但第一位候选人可能经验更丰富、更自信，且自我价值感更高。

But the first candidate was probably more experienced, more confident, and had higher self worth.

他们在那种环境下能如此放松，甚至在我的会议室里‘占据’椅子，这反而让我更想要他们，因为这种姿态向我传递了他们有很多选择。

And their ability to be so relaxed in that environment and kind of own the chair in in my boardroom was actually it actually made me kind of want them more because they were signaling to me that they had lots of options.

他们没有被吓倒。

They weren't intimidated.

他们不害怕。

They weren't scared.

他们对这个机会并不紧张。

They weren't nervous about this opportunity.

这是个有趣的观察，史蒂文。

That's an interesting observation, Steven.

你能注意到这种差异非常好。

And it's very good that you observe the discrepancy.

我关注的一个点是：他们将要担任什么角色？

One of the things that I look for is what is their role going to be?

我不介意有人紧张。

I don't mind that somebody is nervous.

我自己早年出身卑微，经常感到紧张。

I myself, early on, coming from a humble background, was often nervous.

我倾向于关注大多数组织没有列入计划去寻找的那些方面。

I tend to focus on the things that most organizations don't put into their plan to look for.

其中之一就是解决问题的能力。

One of them is problem solving.

给我一份你解决过的问题清单。

Give me a list of the problems you have solved.

大多数人招聘时从来不会问这个问题。

Most people when they hire they never ask that question.

他们会告诉你我会用Excel。

They tell you I can do Excel.

懂微软软件。

Know Microsoft.

那很好。

That's great.

请告诉我你在上一份工作中解决了哪些问题。

Please tell me what problems you have solved at your last job.

你解决这些问题的效率如何？

And how efficiently did you do it?

你如何判断问题是他们自己解决的还是团队中其他人解决的？

How do you know if they solved the problem or they were on a team where someone else solved the problem?

因为我关注的重点是他们能列举多少实例以及他们如何描述这些经历。

Because one of the things that I look for is how many instances they tell and how they describe it.

因为这里有件有趣的事。

Because here's what's interesting.

真正解决问题的人会深入细节并感受那种情绪，而只是转述故事的人只能传达事实却体会不到解决问题的情感。

The person who solves the problem goes into the detail and feels the emotion of the person that's telling the story only conveys it but doesn't know the emotion that is attached to solving it.

就像给小孩一个机关锁玩具，需要这样或那样操作才能打开。

So when that little child finally figures out how to you give them a trick lock where, would things have to go this way or this way and then the little thing opens?

当他们回来告诉你时，你会看到那种反重力的行为——扬起的眉毛、发亮的眼睛，骄傲地说'我解开了'。

When they come back and tell you that, you see the gravity defying behavior, the arching of the eyebrows, the bright eyes and saying, I solved it.

我解决了。

I solved it.

我搞定了。

I got in there.

对吧？

Yeah, right?

只是讲述这个故事的人并不了解其中蕴含的情感。

The person that's just telling you this story doesn't know the emotion that goes with it.

我关注的另一点是——他们可能会紧张或怎样——他们的观察力有多强？

The other thing that I look for is and they may be nervous or whatever is how good are they at observing?

这个问题确实挽救了很多公司，当我建议‘从现在开始务必询问：你的观察力如何？’

This is the one question that has actually saved a lot of companies when I say, make sure that from now on you ask, how good are you observing?

他们会问：‘观察什么？’

And they'll say, well, observing what?

所有重要的事情。

Everything that matters.

人、事、机遇。

People, events, opportunities.

对吧？

Right?

如果你来跟我说，我能编写这个代码。

If you come to me and say, well, I can code this.

好的，这很棒。

Okay, that's great.

但在你将担任的职位上，你需要管理人。

But in the position that you're going to be in, you're going to be managing people.

你观察人的能力有多强？

How good are you at observing people?

追求这一点的公司最棒的地方在于，当你去业务部门视察子公司时，你在寻找什么？

The great thing about companies that seek this is, all right, so when you go and you business, you go see your subsidiary, what are you looking for?

你在观察什么？

What are you observing?

当我查看账本时，我关注的是员工的态度？

Well, when I look at the books, about the attitude of the people?

员工们满意吗？

Are people content?

他们快乐吗？

Are they happy?

还是所有人都看起来愁眉苦脸？

Or do they all look like they're constipated?

我去过一些公司，一进门我就想：天哪

I mean, I've been into companies that the minute I walk in I go, Oh, geez.

你们这里存在管理问题

You've management problems here.

对方会说：有人告诉你了吗？

And the guy goes, Did somebody tell you?

我说：不，除非我蠢到极点才会看不出这些人都垂头丧气，避免眼神接触，在走廊擦肩而过时连招呼都不打

I said, well, know, I'd have to be clinically stupid not to recognize that all these people are walking around with their heads hung low, that they make no eye contact, nobody they pass each other in the subway and they don't talk to each other.

你们这里存在管理问题。

You got management issues here.

就像他们雇佣人是看中这项技能，但当你真正需要的是一个优秀的观察者时，这真的是你需要的吗？

And it's like they hired for this skill, but is that really what you need when you actually need somebody that is a great observer.

那自信呢？

What about confidence?

这是与生俱来的吗？

Is this something that you're born with?

还是你认为自信可以通过训练获得？

Or do you think confidence can be trained into somebody?

我认为自信绝对可以通过训练获得。

I think confidence can absolutely be trained.

我来自古巴，在那里我们失去了一切，作为难民来到这里一无所有，然后突然间，FBI邀请我加入——我并没有申请FBI。

Coming from Cuba where we lost everything, arriving as a refugee, having nothing, and then all of a sudden, FBI asked me to become I didn't apply to the FBI.

实际上是FBI主动找到我，邀请我申请的。

The FBI actually came to me and asked me to apply.

然后我突然说，你们是认真的吗？

And then all of a sudden I said, are you guys serious?

我当时才23岁。

It's like, I'm 23 years old.

我连刮胡子都还在学，毫无自信可言。

I'm barely learning how to shave with no confidence whatsoever.

而他们会教你变得自信。

And they teach you to be confident.

自信是可以培养的。

You can teach confidence.

我告诉人们，学习自信最简单的方法就是对一件事保持自信。

And what I tell people is the easiest way to learn confidence is to be confident about one thing.

哪怕是你整理文件比别人整齐这种小事也行。

I don't care if it's you stack papers better than anybody else.

哪怕是你铺床的方式，任何小事都可以。

I don't care if it's the way you make your your bed, any small thing.

向我展示你的自信。

Show me that you're confident.

向我证明你在这方面比任何人都强。

Show me that that's better than anybody else's.

一旦你能对一件事充满信心，就能对第二件事也充满信心。

And the minute you can be confident about one thing, now you can be confident about two things.

接着你就能对第三件事也充满信心。

And then you can be confident about three things.

我经常看到人们说这种废话——直接进来表现得自信点就行。

This nonsense that I often see people say, just come in and be confident.

我觉得这纯属胡扯。

I think that's nonsense.

我认为自信是需要学习的。

I think you have to learn.

你的身体机能也需要学会对某件事产生自信。

And your physiology has to learn to be confident about one thing.

对我来说，我对踢足球很有信心。

With me, I was confident in playing football.

明白吗？

Okay?

我速度很快。

I was fast.

我能做到某些事情。

I could do certain things.

我对那件事很有信心。

I was confident about that.

我知道在篮球场上，我能投进三分球。

I knew that in basketball, I could shoot a three pointer.

好的，对那件事有信心。

Okay, confident about that.

但对其他很多事情却没有信心。

But not confident about a host of other things.

我记得自己在一屋子高管面前毫无自信的时候。

To be in a room full of executives, I remember when I had no confidence.

那我该如何提升这方面呢？

So how do I work on that?

除非你是世界级演员，否则你不可能突然走进一个地方假装自信。

Cannot, unless you're a world class actor, you cannot walk into a place and all of a sudden pretend you're confident.

我告诉人们，先学会对一件事保持自信。

I tell people, learn to be confident about one thing.

有时候这种自信来源于知识储备。

And sometimes it's knowledge.

我参加的每个会议，都会提前充分研读相关主题。

I always there is no meeting I go into that I am not well read on that subject.

若想获得自信，就要尽可能掌握某个领域的全部知识。

If you want to achieve confidence, know everything that you can about a particular subject.

这会给你带来巨大的信心。

And that gives you so much great confidence.

我见过刚大学毕业的年轻人。

And I've seen young people come right out of college.

他们就坐在那里。

And they're sitting there.

手肘紧贴着身体。

Their elbows are in.

看起来几乎像老鼠一样怯生生的。

They're almost mousy looking.

他们很紧张。

They're nervous.

不停地四处张望。

They're looking about constantly.

他们不知道眼睛该往哪里看。

They don't know where to look.

而我告诉他们，要精通你的专业领域。

And I tell them, know your subject.

熟悉你的专业领域。

Know your subject.

因为当他们开始谈论这个话题时，就会开始绽放和改变。

Because the minute they begin to talk about that, they begin to flower and change.

所以对某个特定领域或垂直行业的精通会建立信心，然后这种信心会逐渐渗透？

So competence in a particular area or vertical creates confidence, which then kind of permeates?

是的。

Yes.

这就是军队，你知道的，比如英国军队，他们招收17、18、19岁的年轻人，然后说‘我们要把你变成一名战士’。

And and that's what the mill in the, you know, the military, the, you know, the like the British military, that's what they they take young people, 17, 18, 19 years old, and they say, we're going to change you into a warrior.

那么，怎么做到呢？

Well, how's that?

通过跑步、让你攀爬绳索、通过各种训练，让你在完成后获得那种自信。

By running, by getting you to climb up that rope, by doing any number of things where you can come away and feel that confidence.

我在Wired看过你的一个视频，你谈到了多种展现和增强自信的方式。

You talked in a video that I watched for Wired about a variety of different ways we can exhibit and be more confident and show confidence.

其中之一是真正观察你生活中那些自信的领导者，并尝试模仿他们的一些自信行为。

One of them is really looking at the leaders in your life who are confident and trying to sort of replicate some of those confident behaviors.

对。

Right.

另一个是关于你的声音。

The other one was about your voice.

用更低沉的嗓音说话，不要在句尾上扬音调让它听起来像疑问句。

Use a deeper voice and do not rise at the end of the sentence as if it's a question.

没错。

Right.

让我来谈谈这些。

So let me talk about those.

不要试图重新发明已经被证明成功的方法。

Don't try to reinvent what's successful.

自信的人不需要语速很快，也不会用高音调说话。

A confident person doesn't have to talk fast and doesn't talk high.

对吧？

Right?

我记得我第一次执行逮捕时，我说：站住。

I remember the first arrest I made and I said, stop.

这里是FBI。

This is the FBI.

我当时的声音根本没人会停下。

My voice was nobody was gonna stop.

没人。

Nobody.

没人。

Nobody.

和我一起的同事说：乔，你得练练你的声音。

And the guys that were with me said, Joe, you gotta work on your voice.

你必须要有命令式的语气。

You have to have a command voice.

嗯，命令式的声音要低沉。

Well, a command voice is down.

比如？

Like?

比如‘站住别动’。

Like, stop right there.

我举个例子。

I'll give you an example.

你跟大多数高管谈话时会说‘不，这不可接受’。

You talk to most executives and you say, no, that's not acceptable.

这太高了。

It's too high.

说‘不’的时候声音总要下沉。

No is always said down.

不。

No.

我们要说不吗？

Are we gonna no.

这听起来像个完整的句子。

That sounds like a complete sentence.

你

You

让他们练习说不。

get them to practice saying no.

完全正确。

Absolutely.

你知道，我做了十年。

I did it at you know, for ten years.

每年二月，鼓励我写《比言语更响亮》一书的布莱恩·霍尔都会邀请我去哈佛。

Every February, Brian Hall, who encouraged me to write one of my books called Louder Than Words, invited me to go to Harvard.

我永远不会忘记，我曾教过一整堂哈佛课程。

And I'll never forget, I had a complete Harvard class.

我记得当时有76名学生。

I think there were 76 students.

我让他们所有人都在说‘不，不，不’，声音越来越低。

And I had them all saying the word no, no, no, going dawn lower.

他当时走出教室接了个电话。

He had stepped out of the room to take a call.

等他回来时，还以为我在搞什么邪教活动。

When he came back, he thought I had a cult going.

我说，不是的，布莱恩。

I said, no, Brian.

我只是在教他们正确的方式，因为这些学生将来都会成为高管。

I just I'm teaching them the right way because these are going to be future executives.

你不能一直说‘不，不，不，不，不’。

That you don't say, no, no, no, no, no, no.

现在这听起来才像个完整的句子。

Now that sounds like a complete sentence.

不

No.

不

No.

事情不会那样发展的

That's not how it's going to work.

而且总是要更低

And it's always lower.

所以我们练习用词

So we work on the words.

更重要的是，我们练习肢体语言，练习你能占据多大空间，因为你占据的空间——如果你这样蜷缩着

More importantly, we work on gestures, how much territory you occupy because the territory that you occupy, if you're here Sort

显得畏缩紧绷

of like shriveled and tight.

你太畏缩了

You're shriveled.

你不想表现得过分夸张。

You don't want to be excessive.

你不想看起来像个小丑。

You don't want to look like a clown.

但你要占据你应得的空间。

But you want to have the space that you're entitled to.

然后我认为学会有节奏地说话非常重要。

And then I think it's very important to learn to speak in cadence.

当你用抑扬顿挫的语调说话时，就像我这样，人们会倾听。

When you speak in cadence, and I do it, is people listen.

他们有时间消化你说的话，同时也能感受到伴随的情感。

They have time to process what you're saying, but they can also attach the emotion that goes with it.

谁说话是抑扬顿挫的？

Who spoke in cadence?

丘吉尔。

Churchill.

马丁·路德·金。

Martin Luther King.

我有一个梦想，终有一天

I have a dream that one day

是的。

Yes.

这个国家将会奋起，实现其立国信条的真谛。

This nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed.

我们认为这些真理不言而喻：人人生而平等。

We hold these truths to be self evident that all men are created equal.

震撼人心。

Powerful.

想象一下如果他站在那里说‘有个梦想某天可能实现’——谁会听这种话？

Imagine if he stood up there say, have one dream that one day might it's like who would listen to that?

但他是一位牧师，懂得如何掌控听众。

But he was a preacher and he knew how to command an audience.

当丘吉尔说，我们将在空中与他们战斗。

And when Churchill said, we will fight them in the air.

我们将在海滩上与他们战斗。

We will fight them beaches.

我们将在登陆场战斗。

We shall fight on the landing grounds.

我们将在田野和街道中战斗。

We shall fight in the fields and in the streets.

我们将在山丘上战斗。

We shall fight in the hills.

我们绝不投降。

We shall never surrender.

这种节奏不仅迷人，而且充满力量。

The cadence is not just seductive, it is powerful.

许多高管并不懂得如何运用这种技巧。

And a lot of executives don't know how to use it.

我参加过一些演示会，人们就是放任自流。

They just I've been to presentations where people just let go.

他们甚至根本没在听讲什么内容。

They're not even listening to what's being said.

然而，当有人开始用抑扬顿挫的语调对他们说'这是我们的报价'时

And yet, somebody begins to talk to them in cadence and says, this is our offer.

这并非最终方案，但此刻是我们最好的报价。

It is not final, but for the moment it is our best offer.

现在你开始集中注意力了。

Now you're paying attention.

你不仅在听我说什么，更在感受话语背后的情绪。

You're paying attention not just to what I said, but the emotion behind it.

这样说要好得多：'这不是我们的最终报价，但请明白，我们...'

That's a lot better to say, well, this is not our last offer, but know, we

当你稍微放慢语速并留出停顿间隙时，就会产生一种真正的权威感。

There's a real authority when you slow things down just that little bit and provide the gaps.

这又回到了我之前说的，掌控时间的人掌控全局。

Which goes back to what I said, who controls time controls.

你正在建立对谈判舞台的控制权。

You're establishing control over the theater of the negotiations.

他们不教这个。

They don't teach that.

还有你的手势。

Your hand gestures as well.

你的手势与你说的话配合得天衣无缝。

You've got very complementary hand gestures to what you're saying.

就在你和我说话时，你刚刚做了个动作——谁掌控时间？

Even as you're speaking to me, you just went, Who controls time?

掌控。

Controls.

掌控。

Controls.

所以我在想我该

And so I'm wondering how I

而我张开的手指正表明我们对某事的在意程度。

And my fingers are spread out establishing how much we care about something.

当我们害怕时，手指会并拢。

When we fear, our fingers come together.

当我们非常害怕时，大拇指会蜷缩起来。

When we fear a lot, our thumbs tuck in.

我见过谈判中有人突然蜷起大拇指，从而泄露了大量信息。

I've seen people in negotiations give up a lot of information because all of a sudden, they tuck their thumbs in.

我就知道，他们害怕了。

I say, Okay, they're scared.

因为狗会收起耳朵，人类则会蜷起手——无论你肤色多深，手掌总是清晰可见的。

Because dogs tuck their ears in, humans tuck their The hands, no matter how dark you are, your hands, the palm of the hands are very visible.

这是与我们共同进化的结果，因为它们富有表现力。

That evolved with us because they're expressive.

因此即使在光线昏暗时，我们也能用手势交流。

So even in low light, we can use our hands to communicate.

我们越自信，手指张开的幅度就越大。

The more confident we are, the further our fingers are.

我在乎。

I care.

想象一下，如果我说'我在乎你'和'我在乎你'时的区别。

Imagine if I said, I care about you versus I care about you.

这其中有很大不同。

There's a big difference.

在第一个例子中，你的手指是并拢的。

So in the first example, you kind of had your fingers together.

而第二个例子中，你把手指张开了。

In the second, you spread them out.

就是这样。

This.

我在乎这个。

I care about this.

因此它们能强化信息传递。

And so they potentiate the message.

人类大脑进化过程中也会关注双手，因为第一，手可以作为武器使用。

And the human brain evolved also to look for the hands because the hands, number one, can be used as a weapon.

但第二，它们也是我们情感的外在象征。

But number two, they are also emblematic of the emotions that we feel.

还有眼神交流。

And eye contact.

是的。

Yes.

关于眼神交流及其重要性已经有很多讨论了。

A lot's been said about eye contact and the importance of it.

关于眼神交流展现的自信，我应该理解什么？

What should I understand about eye contact confidence?

眼神交流在某些方面，我是说，可以花上四十分钟来讨论，因为作为一名教师我可以告诉你，你确实需要良好的眼神交流。

Eye contact in some ways is, I mean, could spend about forty minutes on it because, and as a teacher I can tell you, because you want to have good eye contact.

例如，如果你在和一位女性交谈，你不想让视线，你知道的，眼神交流应该保持在这个位置。

For instance, if you're dealing with a woman, you don't want it to go, you know, eye contact is here.

你也不希望视线下移到胸部这个位置。

You don't want it going down to here to the breasts.

好的，所以要保持看着脸部，对吧？

Okay, so you want stay looking at the face, right?

是的，你需要将视线保持在脸部。

So, you want to keep it in the face.

但除非你是有意威慑对方，否则你也不想显得太有压迫感。

But you also don't want to intimidate unless you want to intimidate.

所以你必须运用一些眼神注视的技巧。

So, you have to employ things like eye gaze behavior.

你还必须运用诸如适时移开视线这样的技巧。

You have to employ things such as looking away.

现在，当我们思考例子和其他事情时，你和我都会移开视线。

Now, you and I both look away as we're thinking about examples and different things.

你可以用眼神接触来强调重点。

You can use eye contact for emphasizing.

看看我们使用眼神交流的频率有多高

Look how often we use eye contact

或者用我们的眼睛来传达意见。

or our eyes to communicate opinions.

也许你会对你的伴侣说，你觉得

Maybe with your partner, you said, what do

怎么样？

you think?

他们立刻就会看向——可能是你的伴侣，不特指你，而是和你一起生活的人。

And immediately, they'll look he or she may look at your partner, not yours specifically, but somebody you live with.

然后他们会说，不行。

And they go, no.

所以通过我们的眼睛，我们经常表达自己的观点。

So with our eyes, with our eyes, we often give our opinions.

因此在谈判中，这是一个重要的领域。

So in negotiations, it's an important area.

我经常思考的一个问题是关于如何非常快速地建立融洽关系。

One of the things I think a lot about is about rapport building very, very quickly.

作为一个经常做播客的人，我有时会想得太多，特别是遇到像你这样的人时，因为我会想：天啊，这家伙会看透我的一切等等。是的。

Someone that does this podcast a lot, I sometimes overthink it a little bit, especially when I'm meeting people like you because I'm like, oh my god, this guy's gonna be reading everything about me and da da da da Yes.

所以有时候我觉得遇到像你这样的肢体语言专家、擅长行为科学的人时，我会想得太多。

So sometimes I think I overthink it when I meet someone like your body language expert, someone who's good at behavioral science.

我想谈谈关于建立融洽关系。

And I wanna talk about rapport building.

事实上我们今天录下了我们的互动。

We actually videoed our interaction today.

当我走进来的时候。是的。

So when when I walked in Yep.

视频就在这里。

And I've got the video here.

让我看看这个，如果有观众的话就把它放到屏幕上。

Let me have a look at this, see if there's put it on the screen for anyone that's watching.

但我想请你分析一下我们初次见面时的互动，告诉我哪些地方可以改进。

But I just want you to analyze my interaction with you when I met you and tell me how it could have been better.

好的。

Alright.

你好，乔。

Hello, Joe.

首先，你双手叉腰等着我，这种姿态传递出'我是主导者'的信号。

Nice First to of all, you were waiting for me with arms akimbo, which is I'm in charge.

你摆出'我是大佬'的姿态，手臂就这样放着。

I'm the big guy, and so your arms were here.

对。

Yeah.

我明白了。

I got it.

好的。

Okay.

我确实记得那件事。

I actually do remember that.

我记得当时在想：把你他妈的手从腰上拿开。

I remember thinking, get your hands off your fucking hips.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不过没关系。

But it's fine.

这是你的地盘。

This is your domain.

在你的地盘上，我期待你这样做。

I expect this from you in your domain.

但你立刻做的一件事就是绕过桌子，主动过来和我握手。

But one of the things you immediately did was you immediately went around the table and you went forward to shake my hand.

所以我常说，我们对人的重视程度取决于我们行动的速度。

So one of the things that I say is how much people matter to us is determined by how fast we act.

好的。

Okay.

事实上你立刻从那边走到这边，这个举动就表明你在乎。

So the fact that you actually went from there to here and you did it immediately, it demonstrates that you care.

早在11个月大时，婴儿就能通过移动速度识别出关心他们的个体甚至无生命物体。

As early as 11, a baby will recognize individuals or even inanimate objects that care just based on how quickly they move.

是朝他们移动还是

Towards them or

向他们伸出援手

Towards them to do something for them.

这被称为亲社会行为

It's called a pro social act.

就连11个月大的婴儿都能识别这种行为

And babies as young as 11 recognize that.

所以这并不让我意外，因为你一直很成功

So this is something that it doesn't surprise me because you've been successful.

要知道，对我来说成功的标准就是看人们与他人相处得如何

You know, the the success is for me is measured on how well people get along with others.

感谢您的耐心等待

Thank you for the wait.

非常感谢

Appreciate it.

谢谢

Thank you.

没问题。

No problem.

你非常非常聪明。

You're very, very smart.

你看起来像是在FBI工作过的人。

You look like someone who who worked in the FBI.

这是FBI的制服。

I it's the FBI uniform.

这是

This is the

我需要戴麦克风吗？还是就用这个？

Will will I be mic'd or it's just this?

就用那个就行。

Just that one.

就用那个，完美。

Just just that Perfect.