奥兹·珀尔曼（心灵魔术师）：这个小错误让人讨厌你！他们这样做，就是在撒谎！

我花了三十年逆向解析人类思维，教你如何运用它，在初次见面时读懂他人心思，或判断对方是否在说谎。现在我们来玩个有趣的游戏：想象你面前有一副隐形扑克牌，把它们摊开，然后随机抽取一张。

I've spent three decades reverse engineering the human mind to show you how you can use it, to know what somebody's thinking when they meet you or if somebody was telling you the truth or lying. So let's do something fun. Imagine that in front of you was an invisible deck of cards. Spread them out front of you. And I want you to reach down and imagine you just grab a card at random.

现在，看着它。看着我。好的。请闭上眼睛。把手伸出来。

Now, look at it. Look at me. Okay. Close your eyes. Hold your hand out, please.

在你睁开眼睛之前，告诉我们那张牌是什么？

Now, before you open your eyes, tell us what was that card?

方块三？睁开眼睛看看吧。

Three of diamonds? Open your eyes. Take a look.

这不是魔术。我可以教你这些技巧。这些秘密、这些习惯，在生活中处处适用。相信我，你不会想错过接下来的内容。Hose Perlman离开华尔街成为世界顶尖的心理术士，解锁了我们所需的技能。

And it's not magic. I can teach you this. And these secrets, these habits, they're applicable all throughout life. Because trust me, you don't wanna miss the rest of this. Hose Perlman walked away from Wall Street to become the world's leading mentalist, unlocking the skills we need.

识人、赢取信任、识别谎言并影响他人。我的工作就是让你相信我能读心，但实话实说：那是不可能的。我通过细微之处观察人。比如，人类数千年的本能告诉我们，如果我双眼直视靠近你，会引发恐惧；而若稍微侧身用单眼接近，威胁感就会降低。

To read people, win trust, spot a liar, and influence anyone. My whole job is to make you believe that I can read minds, but here is the honest truth. That's impossible. But I read people through small minute details. For example, we're hardwired from thousands of years that if I approach you directly with two eyes, it can create fear versus if I turn ever so slightly and approach you with one eye, that one eye is less danger.

所以关键在于最微妙的细节。比如想一个人，想他的名字。我猜到了。五个字母，对吧？告诉大家他的名字是什么？

So it's all about the smallest little nuances. Like think of someone, think of their first name. I got it. Five letters, isn't it? Tell us all what is their first name?

朱尔斯。当你向老板要求加薪或邀请某人约会时，这将是巨大的战术优势。我会告诉你该怎么做，以及如何培养习惯、消除被拒绝的恐惧，还有快速建立自信的方法。但接下来是如何提升记忆力——这是成功的重要秘诀。我有个小技巧：我重新利用了洗发水瓶上的说明，而第一步就是95%的人都做错的部分。

Jules. So this is a huge tactical advantage when you ask your boss for a raise or when you ask someone out on a date, and I'll explain you what to do, as well as how you form habits, eliminating that fear of rejection, and also the fast track for confidence. But the next thing is how to improve your memory, which is a huge secret to success. And I have a tip. I've repurposed the instructions on a shampoo bottle, and the first step is what ninety five percent of us wrong.

所以

So

请给我三十秒时间。我想说两件事：首先衷心感谢大家每周持续收听我们的节目，这对我们所有人而言意义重大。能走到今天这一步，是我们过去绝对不敢想象的美梦。但其次，这也是个我们感觉才刚刚开始的美梦。

just give me thirty seconds of your time. Two things I wanted to say. The first thing is a huge thank you for listening and tuning into the show week after week. It means the world to all of us and this really is a dream that we absolutely never had and couldn't have imagined getting to this place. But secondly, it's a dream where we feel like we're only just getting started.

如果你喜欢我们的节目，请加入那24%定期收听并关注我们的听众行列。我向你承诺：我将竭尽全力让节目现在和未来都保持最佳状态。我们会邀请你希望对话的嘉宾，并持续呈现你喜爱的节目内容。谢谢。

And if you enjoy what we do here, please join the 24% of people that listen to this podcast regularly and follow us on this app. Here's a promise I'm gonna make to you. I'm gonna do everything in my power to make this show as good as I can now and into the future. We're gonna deliver the guests that you want me to speak to and we're gonna continue to keep doing all of the things you love about this show. Thank you.

奥兹·珀尔曼，你显然是个能读心的人。你刚出版的书就叫《读心术：来自世界顶级心灵术士的成功习惯》。对于不熟悉你工作的人，为什么给书起这个名字？你真能读懂我的想法吗？

Ose Perlman. You're a guy who can apparently read people's minds. In fact, the book you've just written is called Read Your Mind, Proven Habits for Success from the World's Greatest Mentalist. So for anyone that isn't familiar with your work and what you do, why did you name your book Read Your Mind? And can you read my mind?

这就是矛盾所在。我的工作是让你相信我能读心，但实话是：我不能。我多希望可以，但那是不可能的。

So therein lies the dilemma. My whole job is to make you believe that I can read minds, but here is the honest truth. I can't read minds. I wish I could read minds. That's impossible.

我解读的是人——完全不同的技能。这建立在魔术世界的根基上：误导、影响、暗示。了解人们的思维方式，就能推断出他们的想法。

I read people. Very different skill. This is built on the world of magic, what I do. Misdirection, influence, suggestion. Knowing how people think indicates to me what they think.

对吧？我花了三十年逆向解构人类心智。我教你们成功的习惯，因为我掌握的这些技能——准确识人、控场能力、影响力塑造，以及所有围绕娱乐环节的技巧——对每个人都适用。若能运用这些秘诀和习惯，它们将引领你在个人生活、职业生涯和人际关系中取得成功。这正是我的亲身实践。

Right? I've spent three decades reverse engineering the human mind. I'm teaching you habits for success because the skills that I have at reading people effectively, walking into a room, taking charge, influencing them, all of the things surrounding the entertainment portion are things that apply to everyone. If you can use these secrets, these habits, they're going to lead you to success in your personal life, in your professional life, in your relationships. And that's what I've done.

我认为即使不做读心师，用同样的方法也能在任何领域成功。这些原则终身适用。我稍停片刻，因为此刻正有人在听——我始终想着屏幕前的观众。嗯。他们为何此刻该关注我？

I think that if I had done this same playbook and not been a mentalist, I'd be successful in any field. They're applicable all throughout life. You know, I'm pausing for one second Because someone listening to this right now, I'm always thinking about the person there watching us. Mhmm. And why should they be watching me right now?

这就是我的问题。谁在乎我？他们不认识我，我也不认识他们。凭什么要看这个？

That's my question. Who cares about me? I don't know me. They don't know me. Why should they watch this?

我研究过你们。这是我的职业。我有东西要给你们。在《龙穴》节目里，我最爱看人提出报价的瞬间——那个可能改变他人人生的画面太动人了。

I've studied you. That's what I do for a living. And I have something for you. And on Dragon's Den, I love when you make an offer. I love the visual of the moment where you can change someone's life.

对吧？作为创始人，你评估他们的公司，然后给出报价。所以这也是个报价，但不是现在拆封。你必须坚持到最后。现在打开就失去意义了。

Right? A founder, you evaluate their company, you make them an offer. So this is an offer, but it's not for now. You have to stick around till the end. If you open it now, it'll be meaningless.

播客结束时，你会打开这张纸，我相信它将成为你未来多年谈论的话题。知道吗？把它放在显眼处，比如杯子底下，让我们始终能看到它，稍后再回来处理。知道这是什么吗？这是你的未来。

At the end of this podcast, you're going open this piece of paper, and I think it's going to be something you will talk about for years to come. You know what? Put it somewhere, maybe right under your mug, where it never leaves our sight, and we're gonna come back to this later. I'm gonna put Do know what this is? It's your future.

这是我的未来？千真万确。先别拆开。你还不想现在就知晓未来。

This is my future? 100%. Don't open the air. You don't wanna know your future yet.

他们为什么要留下来听呢？

And why should they stick around and listen?

噢，因为相信我，你不会想错过接下来的内容。否则你就只能看精彩片段了。把它放在我们一直能看到的地方。

Oh, because trust me, you don't wanna miss the rest of this. Otherwise, you'll have to see the highlights. Put it somewhere we see it the whole time.

好的，那我就放在这里吧。

Okay. So I'll put it I'll put it here.

或者放在你的杯子下面，任何我们不会忽视的地方。太棒了。放

Or under your mug or anywhere we never lose sight of it. Wonderful. Put

把我的杯子压在上面。为那些看不到的人说明一下——因为会有听众通过音频收听——他刚递给我一张折叠的白卡片，我把它压在我的杯子下面了。

my mug on top of it. For anyone that can't see because there will be some people listening on audio, he's just passed me a white piece of folded up card, and I've put it underneath my mug.

这可是个无法拒绝的提议。

That's an offer you can't refuse.

听着各位，我们可没有串通。因为我记得看乔·罗根那期节目时，我还怀疑过你和乔·罗根是不是串通好了——没错。因为那期节目实在太震撼了。所以我今天的目的是对我的观众完全诚实。

Listen, guys. We're not colluding. So because I remember watching I remember watching the Joe Rogan episode and wondering whether you and Joe Rogan had colluded Yep. To, like, do the because it blew my mind. So my objective today is to be completely honest with my audience.

拜托。还有，如果我看到你做了什么，你希望我指出来吗？当然。好的。你是真的想让我说出来吗？

Please. And also, if I if I see you do something, do you want me to say it? For sure. Okay. Do you actually want me to say it?

我想是吧，既然我在这里。

I mean, I guess so while I'm here.

好吧。行。可以。

Okay. Fine. Okay.

我是说，他们信任你。为什么人们会听你的？很棒的采访问题，但他们信任你。这就是你积累观众的方式。

I mean, they trust you. Why do people listen to you? Great interview questions, but they trust you. That's how you build an audience.

是啊。如果我欺骗了他们，我会感到内疚。那么你认为自己对人类处境有什么独到见解是普通人不知道的？

Yeah. I'd feel bad if I if I duped them. And what is it that you think you know that the average person doesn't know about the human condition?

我了解人们的思维方式。我认为我在某个阶段学到的是关乎人生成功的技能。让我解释给你听。对拒绝的恐惧，我认为这是区分失败与成功的首要因素。大多数人不去追求目标，是因为害怕失败后的结果，或者他们从一开始就为失败而非成功做准备。

I know how people think. So I think what I learned at a certain point were skills that are for success in life. Let me explain to you. The fear of rejection is something that I think is the number one factor between failure and success is the fear. Most people don't try to achieve their goals because they're fearful of what will happen if they fail or they set themselves up for failure instead of for success.

这话什么意思？我14岁时会主动走进餐厅。靠着从13岁就开始练习的魔术技巧，我说服餐厅给了我表演机会。通过不断尝试，我学会了如何让陌生人在初次接触时感到自在，以及什么会让他们不适。

What do I mean by that? When I was 14, I'd walk up to a restaurant. I talked my way into getting a restaurant gig because I'd been doing magic tricks since I was 13. And I started learning by iterating what makes people when I walk up to them comfortable with me. What makes them uncomfortable?

我开始研究人们的思维方式。细微到最微妙的细节。我发现如果我直接靠近你，就像动物看到两只眼睛时会害怕那样；而如果我稍微侧身，以一定角度接近你的桌子，你只能看到我一只眼睛。经过千万年躲避捕食者的进化，我们对此已形成本能反应。单只眼睛看起来威胁较小。

I started learning how people think. And it's down to the smallest little nuances. I learned that if I approach you directly, the same way that animals fear you when they see two eyes versus if I turn ever so slightly and approach your table at an angle, you only see one eye. We're hardwired from thousands and thousands of years of avoiding predators. That one eye is less danger.

动物就不会那么怕你。所以我走向你时，会设定时间限制。我很快发现，当我走近时，人们首先想到的是：天啊，他要在这里待很久吗？接着会想：他们知道这个孩子在打工吗？他擅长这个吗？

Animals aren't as fearful of you. So I walk up to you, I create time limits. I learned quickly that if I walk up, the first thing someone thinks is, oh my god, is he going to be here long? The next thing is, do they even know this kid's working here? Is he any good at this?

天啊我需要钱。我必须给他小费吗？我没带现金。所有这些闪过的念头，被称为启发式思维。这就是我们日常应对生活的方式。

Oh god, I need money. Do I have to tip him? I didn't bring cash. All of these thoughts that go through your mind, they're known as heuristics. It's how we deal with our life every day.

如果你能知道别人在想什么——不是表演读心术，而是真正了解他们初次见你、向老板加薪、或邀约异性时的想法——这种认知将带来巨大的战术优势。

And if you can know what somebody's thinking, not to perform a mentalist trick, but know what they're thinking when they meet you or when you ask your boss for a raise or when you ask a girl or a guy out on a date, You knowing that is a huge tactical advantage.

具体来说，你会怎么做？该说些什么？

And specifically, how would you do that? What would you say?

作为一名心灵术士，我脑海中的做法是：准备至上。我会预先准备有效方案、备用方案以及所有可能的应对策略。从A计划到Z计划。在这种情境下，我很快发现每次学到新东西时，人们根本不确定我是否在餐厅工作——我可能只是个突然走近的陌生少年。

What I would say is in my mind, as a mentalist, what I do most is prepare. I prepare in advance for what will work, what won't work, and all the troubleshoot in between. Plan A, B, C, D, all the way to Z. So in that situation, every time I learned something new, I learned quickly that people didn't know if I was working at the restaurant. Am I just some kid who walked up to you?

这人是谁？所以我以斜角走向他们，暗示可能很快离开。一只脚进一只脚出。接着我会对你说：听说今晚的活动了吗？今天是你的幸运日。

Well, who is this? So I walk at an angle so they know I might be leaving soon. I'm one foot in, I'm one foot out. I would then say to you, did you hear what's going on tonight? It's your lucky day.

立刻，这就不同了。那是多巴胺的刺激。就像手机震动时的感觉一样。这就是我们上瘾的原因。谁给我发消息了？

Right away, that's a different thing. That's a dopamine hit. That's the same way when your phone buzzes. That's why we're hooked. Who texted me?

这上面写着什么？是点赞吗？还是评论？就像抽奖一样。当我向你提出一个暗示积极能量、而非简单是非的问题时，你无法打断我。

What does this say? Is this a like? Is this a comment? That's that lottery. By me saying to you a question that denotes positive energy without a yes or no, you don't have a way to stop me.

如果我说：嘿，想看魔术表演吗？不要。走开。砰。对话结束。

If I said, hey, do you want to see me do magic? No. Get out of here. Boom. We're done.

提出开放式、本质上积极的问题几乎总能得到良好回应。知道为什么吗？今晚是你的幸运夜。哦，为什么是我的幸运夜？我会说：老板特意请我来为你表演些精彩节目。

Asking people questions that are open ended, that are inherently positive almost always generates a great response. Did you hear why? It's your lucky night. Oh, why is it my lucky night? And I say, the owner brought me in as a special treat to do something amazing for you.

现在听好了。老板知道我在那里工作。老板特意邀请我。我认识老板，社交价值，社交货币，作为特别款待。这意味着你不需要付钱给我。

So now listen to this. The owner, they know I'm working there. The owner brought me in. I know the owner, social value, social currency, as a special treat. That means you don't need to pay me money.

他们已经买单了。太棒了。然后要展示些令人惊叹的东西。所以我没有给你任何拒绝的理由，几乎没有留下负面思考的余地，而这一切我都在十秒内完成了。

They've paid the bill. Amazing. And then to show you something amazing. So I've given you no point at which to say no. I've given you very few angles to think anything but positive, and I've done this all in hopefully less than ten seconds.

这就是开场白。现在你最好拿出真本事。我得准备个让他们惊叹不已、牢牢抓住注意力的魔术。

That's the intro. Now you better have your a game. I better have a trick that's going to blow them away and capture their attention.

让我们在这里暂停一下，因为我认为无论是内容创作者、销售人员，还是面试招聘人员时，我刚才听到的是你创造了一种积极的好奇心缺口。没错，这正是MrBeast在他视频开头采用的手法。

So let's just pause there for a second because I think everybody, whether you're a content creator or you're working in sales or you're interviewing people, to join your company, what I what I heard there was you you created this, like, positive curiosity gap Yes. Where immediate and that's also what mister Beast does at the start of his videos.

他瞬间抓住了观众。

He The hook instantly.

是的。他营造了一种积极的好奇心缺口，让你迫切想要填补这个缺口。你说在这种情况下他们邀请我来：‘你听说今晚会发生什么吗？’对。

Yeah. He is like a positive curiosity gap where you you need that gap closed. And you said, in that case, they brought me in. Have you heard what's happening tonight? Yep.

太棒了。你邀请我来是为了做件了不起的事。我立刻就想知道到底是什么。

It's amazing. You brought me in as a treat to do something amazing. Immediately, I need to know what this is.

这是什么？

What is this?

而我不希望你离开。然后你会用某种方式让他们惊艳。

And I don't want you to leave. And then you'd blow them away somehow.

我会让他们惊艳，但从中获得的经验教训让我受用终生。这些经验在当今时代尤为适用——什么是我们这个时代的货币？注意力。就在此刻，当有人在聆听观看时，就可能让你的业务一飞冲天。我们正处于这样一个前所未有的时代：仅凭一部手机，你就能成为全球巨星，就能创立一番事业。

I'd blow them away, but the lessons to be learned from there are things that I've used for the rest of my life. And they apply so much to today's day and age where what is the currency of our time? Attention. This very moment that someone's listening and watching is can allow you to blow up a business. We have never been in an era where your phone having a phone can allow you to become a global superstar to launch a business.

这就像一百年前，这种选择根本不存在。关键在于懂得如何在情感层面与人建立联系，并了解观众想要什么。这是我早年就领悟到的。我就是在理解人们的思维方式，并以此娱乐他们。

It's it's like a hundred years ago, this didn't exist, this option. So knowing how to connect with people on an emotional level and then knowing what does your audience want. That's what I learned early on. I'm just knowing how people think and using that to entertain them.

这其中有多少是基于我的肢体语言？又有多少取决于我的行为举止？我之所以这么说，是因为观众们都是职场专业人士，他们非常渴望通过观察来更好地理解他人。没错，无论是团队成员、客户还是其他任何人。

And how much of it is based on my body language? How much of it is based on how I behave? And I say that because the audience, you know, they're they're all professionals working in their careers, and they're very keen to better understand people through observation. Sure. Whether it's their team members or whether it's clients or whoever it might be.

所以我在想，是否有方法能让我成为生活中更优秀的观察者。

So I'm wondering if there's anything I can learn to be a better observer of the people in my life.

当然可以。就我的表演经验来说，让我们拆解一下这个问题。我是个职业 entertainer（表演者），多年来人们总问我：你是怎么做到的？

Absolutely. So for my performances, let's break this down. I I'm an entertainer. That's what I do for a living. And now after many years, people ask me, how do you do it?

'你是怎么做到的？' 其实我意识到你们并不真想知道答案。不如我们玩个有趣的——假设你手上有副牌。

How do you do it? I've realized you don't wanna know how I do it. You don't really. If I were to guess let's do something fun. You have a deck of cards.

对，让我们加点甜头。这些是你的牌对吧？我可没碰过它们。

Yeah. Let's just sweeten the deal. These are your cards. Correct? This is not I'm not touched.

这里没有任何魔术手法。

These are no magic trick involved.

这些都是卡片。是的。

These are all cards. Yes.

我想为你尝试的是这样：请把它们放在你面前。你已经洗过牌了。还想再洗一下吗？

Here's what I'd like to try for you. Put them down in front of you, please. You've mixed them up. Do wanna mix them some more?

是的，我想。

Yes. I do.

请便。想洗多久都可以。

Please. Mix them as much as you'd like.

我这么说是因为我刚看到

Just say that because I just saw

不，一个字都别说。

No. Don't say a word.

好的。更大些。

Okay. Bigger.

当我碰到那些牌时，我的大脑瞬间切换模式：这是个魔术。这就是我所知的。我熟悉这种套路。我不会碰那些牌。我对那些牌毫不在意。

The moment I touch those cards, my brain flips a switch and goes, this is a magic trick. That's what I know. I know that archetype. I'm not touching those cards. I couldn't care less about those cards.

想象一下，史蒂文，你面前是一副隐形的牌。这就是我转变思路的地方，多年前我曾花费无数小时练习手法。请拿起那副隐形牌，假装就好。就像这样。

Imagine that in front of you instead was an invisible pack of cards, Steven. This is where I changed gears, where years ago, I spent hours and hours learning sleight of hand. Pick up the invisible deck, please. Just pretend. Just like that.

现在我要你把牌摊开在面前，牌面朝下。你看不见它们。史蒂文，闭上眼，伸手去摸。

And I want you to spread them out in front of you. Face down. You can't see them. And, Steven, you close your eyes. You reach down.

关键就在这里——我们不可能串通，因为牌是隐形的，你根本不知道自己接下来要做什么，我更不可能知道。我要你伸手随机抽一张牌面朝下的牌。现在就为我这样做，然后停住，保持这个姿势。

And here's the part where we can't collude because they're invisible and you don't know what you're about to do, much less me. And I want you to reach down and imagine you just grab a card at random face down. Do it for me now, please. And stop right there. Freeze.

我有告诉过你此刻该做什么吗？我有说过什么吗？你有可能知道自己手里拿的是什么牌吗？或者我能知道吗？不，完全不可能。

Have I told you what to do at this moment? Have I said anything? Is there any way that you could know what card you just picked in your hand or I could know any of this? No. No.

这是即兴的、冲动的、当下的反应。这是我工作的最高标准。别说话，看着牌，看着我。

This is spontaneous, impulsive, and in the moment. It's the gold standard for what I do. Don't say a word. Look at it. Look at me.

想想看：牌有红色的，黑色的，有红心、方块、梅花、黑桃，还有数字牌。

Just think. The cards are red. They're black. There's the hearts, the diamonds, the clubs, and the spades. There's the number cards.

这里有那些大牌。A、2、3、4、5、6、7、9、10、J、Q、K。闭上眼睛。就这样。我要拿走你旁边的这些牌。

There's the big cards. Ace, two, three, four, five, six, seven, nine, 10, jack, queen, king. Close your eyes. That's it. I'm gonna take these cards that are next to you.

哎呀，抱歉。如果你不介意的话，请继续保持闭眼。这不是纸牌魔术，我需要你的视觉配合。伸出手来，假装手里拿着一张牌。

Oops. Sorry. And I'd like you to keep your eyes closed if you don't mind. And this is not a card trick, I want a visual for your eyes. Hold your hand out, And hold it as if you were holding one card in your hand.

保持闭眼，别睁开。我要放一张牌在你手里。合上手指，就保持这个姿势。在睁眼前，告诉我们那张牌是什么。

Keep your eyes closed. Do not open them. I'm going to place one card in your hand. Close your fingers and freeze right there. Before you open your eyes, tell us what was that card.

方块三？

The three of diamonds?

睁开眼睛看看吧。

Open your eyes. Take a look.

这真的非常、非常难理解你是怎么做到的。

It's very it is very, very difficult for me to understand how you do that.

现在问题来了。我告诉你，如果我教你，你也能做到。但这会花你不少时间，你需要学习，这其实是从众多可能性中逐步缩小到一个结果——这正是我常用的手法。我限制你的选择范围，并解读你透露的信息。

Now, here's the question. So I tell you this. If I were to teach you that, you could do it. It would take you quite some time, and you'll learn, and it was a narrowing down of a lot of options into one, which is a lot of what I do. I limit your options, and I read what you are giving off.

因为这里没有魔术戏法。整个过程没有任何手法技巧。我们达成共识了吗？这是一副隐形牌。你抽出了一张牌。

Because there's no magic trick. There's no sleight of hand involved in this. Are we in agreement? This is an invisible deck. You took out a card.

先把这些收起来。但我要说的是，关键在于学会如何在生活中更有效地解读他人，不是为了戏法，而是真正了解他们的想法。如果你正在观看并自称是商界人士，想要一个关于肢体语言的实际收获，那就问问自己：刚才有肢体语言的表现吗？你有特别做什么动作吗？比如手臂的轻微弯曲？

Let's put these away. But here's where I would say what's applicable is knowing how to read people more effectively in your life, not for the sake of a trick, but knowing what they're actually thinking. Now, if you're watching this and you said you're a business person, you want a tangible takeaway for body language, you ask yourself, was there a body language thing? Was there something that you did specifically? Was there a flex of an arm?

眉毛有抽动吗？有什么你能观察到的迹象吗？确实存在这些信号。但我想告诉人们的是，很多人最想知道一个核心问题：对方是否感兴趣？

Was there a twinge of an eyebrow? Was there something that you can see? There are definitely markers. But what I would describe to people is for a lot of people, they want to know a core thing. Is someone interested?

是或不是？以及对方是否在说谎？是或不是？如果你能掌握这两点，我认为就打开了无限可能。你人生中有多少重大时刻取决于别人是否喜欢你或对你所做的事感兴趣——无论是销售、商务还是个人关系？又有多少时刻取决于对方是在说真话还是谎言？

Yes or no? And is someone lying? Yes or no? If you can know those two things, I think that opens up a world of possibilities. How many major moments of your life had to do with if somebody liked or was interested in what you were doing, be it in sales or business or personal, or if somebody was telling you the truth or lying?

判断某人是否对你说谎的最佳方法，是了解他们的基准行为。让我解释一下：初次见面时很难了解一个人。单次接触无法真正评估一个人的本质。但你生活中有多少人是只见一次的？

The best way to learn if somebody's lying to you is learning their benchmarks. Let me explain to you what that means. Meeting somebody one time, it's very hard to know things about them. One time transactions, you can't really gauge who they are as a person. But how many people in your life do you meet once?

很少。大多数人你会经常见面。那么测谎仪——你曾经接受过测谎仪测试吗？

Few. Most of the people you meet, you meet often. So a lie detector machine have you ever been lie detector machined?

从来没有。

Never.

他们的工作方式是必须事先问你一些问题来设定基准。他们需要检查并观察，请诚实地回答：你的名字是史蒂文·巴特利特吗？是的。他们会观察你的指标来判断诚实时的表现。

So the way they work is they have to ask you questions beforehand to set your benchmarks. They have to check and they see, tell me an honest answer. Is your name Steven Bartlett? Yes. They look at your indicators to see what honesty looks like.

然后他们会让你说一个谎，再试图比较两者的差异。所以当我观察别人时，会先注意他们说真话时的状态。这些都可以在家尝试：当别人讲故事时，看看他们添加了多少细节？

And then they look to see, tell me a lie. And now they try to compare the two to each other. So what I do when I watch people and observe is I try to see what do they look like when they're telling me the truth. And these are fun things you could try at home. See when somebody tells you a story, how many details do they insert?

他们的说话节奏是怎样的？对吧？他们怎么表达？只要经常观察，你多半能分辨别人是否在说谎。这是可以看出来的。

What's their cadence? Right? How do they speak? You can tell when people are lying more often than not if you observe them often. You can see it.

他们会添加更多细节吗？你可以用些无伤大雅的小谎言做实验，对比他们说谎和说真话时的不同表现，然后逐渐相信自己的直觉。我觉得自己已经改掉了许多坏习惯。其实我们小时候都有很强的谎言识别能力——两三岁时就能知道兄弟姐妹是否在骗你。

Do they add more details? So you can try to find fun ways that seem to be white lies to see what do they do when they lie versus what do they do when they tell the truth, and then start to trust your instincts more. I think a lot of things that I do, I've unlearned bad habits. I think that when we were growing up, most of us had much better BS detection systems. When you're two, three, four, you know if your sibling's lying to you.

你那时能敏锐察觉别人是否说谎。这种本能就像我打乒乓球时一样——不能思考动作，要直接出手。我都不知道是怎么做到的。

You know if people are lying to you very well. You're kind of very young and there's an instinct involved that I think is akin to when I play ping pong. I can't think about my shot. I just do the shot. I don't know how I did it.

我的身体会自动反应。所以当我在表演时...总有人问我：你生活中每时每刻都这样吗？当然不，太累了。我只是高度专注地观察那些会暴露真相的细节。

My body just goes into motion. So when I'm performing, I am the way people always ask me, you doing this in every moment of your life? No. It's tiring. I'm focused, hyper focused on what you're doing and the things that I'm watching that will give away certain elements.

同时我还在影响你。这里有误导成分。我正以特定方式引导你做出我期望的选择。

And I'm influencing you. There's misdirection. And I'm guiding you in a certain position in a certain way to what I want you to select.

假设我正在试图向你推销产品。没错，我正在做演示。我是一家营销机构的老板，我想让你从我这里购买这个营销方案，而不是另一个或者什么都不买。

Let's say I was trying to sell you something. Sure. I'm I'm we're doing a presentation. I'm a marketing agency owner owner, and I would like you to buy this marketing campaign from me instead of this one or no campaign. Sure.

那么，为了让我成功说服你购买我想要的产品，你可以告诉我应该考虑或做些什么？

So what are some things you could tell me that I should be thinking about or doing if I'm selling to you to make you buy what I would like you to buy?

第一条法则。我称之为激发你内心的读心术。重点不在你，而永远在于对方。这是我成功的首要秘诀。

Number one rule. I call this channeling your inner mentalist. It's not about you. It's always about them. That's been the number one secret to my success.

本不该如此。我曾在各大电视台表演我的拿手好戏。在CNBC财经频道就上过几十次。试问有多少魔术师或读心者上过这个频道？

I shouldn't have been. I've been on all different networks doing what I do. On CNBC, I've been on there dozens of times. That's the financial network. How many other magicians or mentalists have ever been on that network?

零。这不合常理。那可是严肃的财经频道。他们为什么要邀请我？

Zero. It doesn't make sense. That's a serious network. They do finance. Why are they bringing me on?

因为我根据观众定制演示内容。我不考虑自己。纸牌魔术是关于我的表演，而我讲述股票、债券、股息和利率的内容，对观众来说才充满魅力。

Because I tailor my presentations to the viewer. I don't think about myself. A card trick is about me. Me doing something related to stocks and bonds and and dividends and interest rates. That is fascinating to the person watching.

同理，如果我面对橄榄球员，所有内容都会围绕橄榄球展开。所以我挑战你：当你做演示时，是否只考虑自己？还是能突出对方缺失的特质？他们现状的问题是什么？缺少什么？

The same way if I go into a room with football players, I make everything structured on football. So I challenge you that when you make a presentation like that, are you just thinking about you? Or where can you highlight the attributes of what is this person missing? What's wrong with what their status quo is? What are you missing?

倾听你的消费者，倾听你的客户，倾听你的观众。他们会告诉你答案，告诉你需要回馈给他们什么。

Listen to your listen to your consumer. Listen to your client. Listen to your audience. They will tell you. They will give you the answers to what you need to give back to them.

太多人在接触他人时总是这样开场：我有多厉害？我的产品有多棒？咚咚咚。全是关于我、我、我。

So many people when they approach someone else, they approach with the following. How great am I? How great is my product? Bum bum bum. It's all about me, me, me.

这需要用利益导向的语言。所有内容都应该围绕'你'展开：我想让你的生活更轻松，想让迁移到我们平台的过程无缝衔接。目前困扰你的是什么？

This needs to be benefits oriented language. All of it should be you. I want to make your life easier. I want to make this migration to our platform seamless. What's currently bothering you?

我想了解所有让你产生抗拒的时刻。是什么阻碍你说'同意'？每次你提出一个顾虑，我都会准备好回应：真有趣你提到这点，我知道你不希望有任何停机时间。

I want to know all the things that you are that are your moments of resistance. What's resisting you from saying yes? And every time you tell me one, want to be prepared to check that off. That's so funny you mentioned that. It's I know you want no downtime.

这就是我们确保零停机的方法。你要像读心术师那样预判他们的想法。不过你不是在猜扑克牌或数字，而是在揣摩阻碍他们购买产品的心理障碍。

Here's how we can ensure no downtime. Right? You want to anticipate what they're going to say the same way a mentalist does. But in this case, you're not guessing cards or numbers or names. You're guessing the thoughts of what's keeping them from buying your product.

这对你来说是种固定练习吗？比如如果我现在要向优步CEO推销我的广告公司，在会议前——你刚提到准备工作——你会写下或思考可能的反驳点吗？然后根据你判断对方带入会议室的意识形态和ego因素来调整演示内容？

And is that a practice per se to you? Like, if this was you know, if I was pitching to you and you're the CEO of Uber Yep. And I want you to work with my agency, before I go into that meeting, you know, you talked about preparation earlier on, do you write down or just think about the rebuttals or the person that you're you're contending with and then try and tailor the presentation to a set of sort of ideological ego factors that that that you believe that person's coming into the room with?

没错。我会记录所有细节。书里有一整章讲记笔记如何改变我的人生。每次演出和与人互动时我都会记录——昨晚有演出，前天晚上也有。

Right. So I write down everything. Literally, one chapter in that book is all about how taking notes has changed my life. So at every show and through every interaction that I ever have with somebody, I write down. I had a show last night, a show the night before.

我会用速记法快速记录，但我会写下我所做的一切、遇到的每个人、关于他们的记忆，并且会在节目结束后立即完成。如果有见面会和拍照环节，结束后你可能会看到我在优步车里或酒店里疯狂记录，趁记忆犹新时写下一切，因为信息就是力量。人们最关心的永远是自己、家人、朋友和事业。对吧？我们每个人都是自己人生电影的主角。

I will write down I have a shorthand to make it quicker, but I will write down everything that I did, everybody that I met, things that I remember about them, and I will do this immediately when I finish the show. If I might have a meet and greet and photos, the moment it's done, you'll sometimes see me in an Uber, in my hotel, and I'm writing furiously everything while it's still in my mind and fresh because information is power. And the number one thing that people care about is themselves, their family, their friends, their career. Right? All of us are the star of our own movie.

你是你电影的主角，我是我电影的主角。此刻这个人，这位男士，就是镜头的焦点。其他所有人都是配角。试着这样思考。

You're the star of your movie. I'm the star of my movie. Right here, person, man, the camera's star. Everybody else is supporting cast. So think of it this way.

如果你能记住关于那个人的事情——不是令人不适的那种。比如他们告诉过你什么？昨晚遇到一位女士，她有两个孩子，分别三岁和五岁。

If you can remember things about that person, not creepy. What if they told you something? Last night, met somebody. She has two children. They're three and five.

她的大儿子疯狂迷恋某个YouTube网红。我知道他们住在哪里。她向我分享了许多细节，在她看来这些可能像阅后即焚的Snapchat消息。

Her oldest son absolutely loves this one YouTube star. They live. I know where they live. Like she just shared a lot of details with me that in her mind are kind of like Snapchats. They vanished.

但对我而言这些信息并未消失。现在我已记录下来，可能一个月、一年甚至十年后再遇见她。你知道记住别人说过的事会让他们多么惊喜吗？就像中彩票一样。这就像我表演的魔术，但观众会把功劳都给你。

They didn't vanish to me. So now that I've written those down, I might see her in a month, in a year, in a decade. Do you know how great that feeling is to somebody when you remember things they told you? It's like winning the lottery. It's literally like you get to do a magic trick like I do, but people give you credit.

我会记住演出细节：是谁雇佣我来表演的？哦，他们认识这个人。现在我们有了人脉链，有了推荐关系。未来可能还会相遇。

I will remember at shows, who hired me for the show? Oh, they know this person. Now we have a chain. We have a referral link. I might see them again.

三年前我猜中了某人的ATM密码6124。如今重逢时我依然记得——而我并没有超常记忆力。书中另一部分是关于提升记忆力的方法，我认为这也是人们尚未意识到的人生成功秘诀。

I guessed their ATM pin code three years ago. It was 6124. I now know that. I bump into them there and I don't have a supernatural memory. Another part of the book is how to improve your memory, which I think is also a huge secret to success in life that people don't realize.

我们现在有手机了。我们以为手机会帮我们搞定一切。其实不然。我对他说，去吧，我真心希望你把那个6124的密码改了。他当时就惊呆了。

We have phones now. We think our phone does it for us. That's not true. And I say to him, go, I sure hope you changed that pin code from 6124. He is blown away.

史蒂文，你明白吗？这不是什么花招。我记下来了。听着，我会原原本本告诉你我是怎么做到的。我所做的只是提前花时间复习，到场后让他感受到特别对待。

Steven, do you understand? That's not a trick. I wrote it down. There's no, I'll tell you exactly how I did it. All I did was take the time to review it before I got there and made him feel special.

你知道他接下来会怎么做吗？他会把这一刻讲上好几年。我创造了一段回忆。如果你能为他人创造难忘的瞬间，他们就会记住你，并口口相传。这就是为什么——无论你从事什么行业——你为他人所做的，终将推动你走向成功。

And do you know what he's going to do? He's going to talk about that moment for years to come. I've created a memory. If you can create memorable moments for others, they will remember you and they will spread the word to others. And that's how you, whatever you do in life, what you do for others is what's going to eventually propel you to success.

我想说要不求回报地付出，但有趣的是，你付出得越多，宇宙就会以某种方式回馈你。我为别人做得越多，他们就越想回报我。

I would say give gratuitously, but the more gratuitous you give, there's this funny way in the world where the universe bounces back. And the more I do for others, they want to do the same for me.

能不能给我个具体操作方式？比如你有本速记本，每次见人都会记录？对，要记详细细节。

If you were to make that really practical for me. So you have a shorthand book which you write in every time you meet someone. Yes. Deep details.

你可以用手机记？没错，我就用手机。我日历里都有记录。说清楚点——

You could do it in your phone? Yeah. I do it in my phone. So I have calendar entries. Let's be very clear.

给你看硬核操作。我手机里现在就有记录——昨晚的活动，演出曲目单。我记下了主持人的名字，他妻子。他们有三个孩子，其中有对双胞胎。

Let's give you brass tacks. I will write in I've if you look at my phone right now, the event last night, set list. I wrote down the name of the host, his wife. They have three children. They have twins.

关于这一切的记忆都历历在目，我会记住一天，但之后就会逐渐消散。我表演了什么把戏？那些把戏里发生了什么？有哪些即兴的搞笑瞬间？那天早些时候我遇见了谁？

Like everything about this is very fresh in my mind and I'll remember it for a day, but then it will kind of it will dissipate. Which tricks did I do? What happened in the tricks? What were funny moments that were off the cuff? Who did I meet earlier that day?

我遇到了一个人。我再次把这些都记录下来，因为信息就是力量。这些信息，你保留得越久，就像一张没有保质期的优惠券。当你把它呈现给那个人时，实际上恰恰相反。你保留得越久，它就越令人印象深刻。

I met somebody. And again, I'm writing all this stuff down because that information is power. That information, the longer you hold it, it's a coupon with no expiration date. And when you serve it up to that person, in fact, it's the reverse. The longer you hold onto it, the more impressive it is.

如果我昨天遇见你，你告诉我你最喜欢的颜色是品红色，而我明天就提起这事，那并不令人兴奋。但如果是两年后，当我们相遇看到一辆车时，我说：'史蒂文，那是你最喜欢的品红色，对吧？'这就是个把戏。就在你脑海里，多巴胺分泌。你怎么会记得这个？

If I met you yesterday and you told me your favorite color is magenta, and I say it to you tomorrow, not that exciting. But in two years, if when I meet you and we see a car, I go, Steven, that's your favorite color magenta, isn't it? And that is a trick. Just there in your mind, dopamine. How did you remember that?

你会因为我记得关于你的事而感动。对吧？这就是人们在乎的。人们啊，再想想他们的家人、朋友、信仰、事业等等。你越是能让别人发光，你自己就越会受益。

You're touched that I remember that about you. Right? That's what people care about. People, think about it again, their family, their friends, their faith, their business, all of that. The more that you can make someone else shine, the better it happens to you.

一切都在于，我的整个表演都是为了让别人看起来更出色。

Everything is about when I my whole act is geared towards making other people look good.

我思考了很多关于这个，今天早上还在领英上发帖谈'小事的悖论'。我在帖子里提到吉米·法伦，这周我上他的节目时，他提到我们在播客结束时有个与嘉宾的小传统。这是我们在节目结束时做的一件小事。他记得这件事并告诉观众，还说这让他感动落泪，这让我意识到生活中那些常被我们忽视的小事——比如记住某人的名字，或者像你说的，他们的家人或某些私密细节——其实非常有力量，因为大多数人认为这些无关紧要。

I was thinking about this, quite a lot, and I actually posted on my LinkedIn this morning about the paradox of small things. And what I said in the post, it's reflecting on Jimmy Fallon. I was on his show this week and he mentioned that we have this tradition at the end of the podcast with the guests. It's a small thing that we do at the end of the show. And the fact that he remembered it and told his audience about it and he said he brought him to tears made me realize that actually the small things in life, that we often overlook, remembering someone's name or, and as you said, their family or some sort of intricate personal detail, they're so powerful because most people don't think they matter.

就是这样。所以当生活中有人记得关于你的一个小细节，哪怕是你的名字这种对你有意义的事，都会显得如此罕见而有力，因为大多数人觉得这简直微不足道。我想这就是'小事的悖论'——它们实际上都是大事。

That's it. And so when one person in your life remembers a tiny detail about you that kinda matters to you, even your name is something that matters to you, it's so shockingly rare, and it's so shockingly powerful because most people think it's so unbelievably petty. And this is the, I think, the paradox of small things that they're actually, in fact, really big things.

想想看，生活中有多少小事，就像那些岔路口，一条路通向这里，另一条通向那里。我人生中就有这样的时刻，有人对我说了一句话，有时甚至是随口一说，他们自己都不记得，却改变了我的人生轨迹。这些微小的瞬间，比如我曾以为在华尔街工作就是全部，从没想过魔术师或读心术师也能成为职业选项，这想法简直疯狂。

Well, think about how many small things, if you were to look at your life and just have these little roads, these like fork in the road where one path led to this, and I have those moments where in my life where somebody said one thing to me, sometimes offhanded, they don't even remember it, and it changed the course of my life. And there's like little moments. I had one, so I worked on Wall Street. I didn't think that you could be a magician or mentalist. It's crazy that it never even occurred to me as an option.

但关键转折点有两个，其中一个是在美林公司为首席财务官表演时。他不知道我是公司员工。我表演了一个手法魔术：拿着五张一美元纸币，打个响指，

But at one point, I had I there's two moments, but one of the big ones is I'm doing something for the CFO of my company, Merrill Lynch. He does not know that I work for the company. And I used to do this magic trick with sleight of hand where I take five $1 bills. I hold them. I snap.

它们就变成了百元大钞，效果惊人。那位澳大利亚高管当时就说：'伙计，我们需要你在这儿工作'，

They turn to hundreds. Amazing. It's a great trick. And at that moment, he's an Australian guy. And he goes, he goes, he goes, we need you working here, mate.

大家都笑了。这种玩笑我听过千百次，于是我破例打破角色说：'先生，其实我确实在这儿工作'。他还以为我在继续表演。

And everyone laughs. And you know, it's a joke I've heard a 100 times, a thousand times. And I go, it's funny, sir, I do work here. And he thought it was a joke. I broke character a little.

我解释：'不，我真的在格林街95号全球技术服务部工作'。他反问：'那你在这儿做什么？'这个对他无足轻重的瞬间，却彻底改变了我的人生轨迹——我脑海里突然闪过：'我到底在这儿干什么？'

I go, no, no, I work at 95 Green, at your Global Technology Services Department. And he looked at me and goes, what do you do working here? And that moment to him, I assume was nothing. It was forgotten moments later. But that moment changed the course of my life because there was like a switch in my mind that was, what am I doing working here?

你知道那种能预见未来的感觉吗？这就是我要走的路吗？要这样过一辈子？还是该把握仅有一次的人生去追梦？对听众们说，不是劝你们辞职，而是该对着镜子自问：'这真是我想做的吗？'

You know, you kind of like can visualize your future. Is this my path? Is this what I'm going to do forever? Or am I going to decide that you live one life and I'm going to go for it? And I think for a lot of people who are listening to this, I'm not saying to quit your job, but you ask yourself, look in the mirror, is this what I want to be doing?

很多人可能渴望更多，无论是创业还是职场晋升。正是某个瞬间让人生转折，关键是要采取行动，制定计划，并聪明高效地执行。

And I think for a lot of people, they might want more, whether that's their own business, whether it's to climb the rung of a ladder. And it's that moment that somebody can change your life and take action and decide, I'm gonna do it, but also formulate a plan, be effective and smart in your execution.

就你而言，离开美林证券转行成为读心术师，这确实是个巨大的跨越。天大的跨越。

And in your case, you know, leaving Merrill Lynch to go and become a mentalist is quite quite a leap. A Huge leap.

所有人都觉得我疯了。丹·布朗也是。没人对我说过‘这主意太棒了’。虽然说实话，多数人都为我高兴。但私下里，他们肯定觉得这小子疯了。

Everyone thought I was crazy. Same with Dan Brown. No one said to me, oh, this is a great idea. Even though I've gotta tell you the truth, most people were very happy for me. But behind closed doors, think they thought this kid, you know, he's nuts.

某种程度上你确实疯了，因为从统计学和概率学来看，你成为成功读心术师的可能性——绝对地——微乎其微。

You kind of were nuts because statistically, probabilistically, the chance of you becoming a successful mentalist Absolutely. Is extremely low.

微乎其微。

Extremely low.

但我的意思是，能赚大钱的读心术师可能屈指可数。

But I mean, like, there's there's probably like a handful of mentalists that earn a lot of money.

我认为这数字确实很少，但关键问题在于：为什么不能是你？当然统计数据存在，但为什么不能是我？你脑海中的思维方式和那个循环的声音决定了一切。所以重点是要让自己走向成功而非失败。

I would say it's a very low number, but here's the question you should ask yourself. Why not you? That, like, the framing of that is always, of course, there's statistics, but why not me? And so I think the way you think in your mind, the voice in your head that tells you that loop determines things. So it's all about setting yourself up for success rather than failure.

读心术师的工作有多少是理解人类行为，又有多少是...

How much of being a mentalist is understanding human behavior versus

所有方面。甚至不知道该如何回答。确切地说，我是人类行为的学生，研究人们如何行事。

Everything. Don't even know how to answer it. It's literally that's that's I'm a student of the human like, how people behave.

但实践层面——因为达伦·布朗，我视他为朋友。如果我从他身上学到了什么（我确实认为他是镜头内外最不可思议的人），那就是他的大部分工作都在让你以为魔术发生在眼前。

But the the practice of it because Darren Brown is, I consider him a friend. And if I've learned anything from him, and I do think he's the most incredible person on and off camera, it's that much of his work is making you think the trick is happening here.

百分之百正确。

100%.

但实际上，魔术真正发生的地方在另一边。他通过误导让你关注我的左手，而戏法其实在右手进行。

But actually, the trick is happening happening over here. And he's misdirecting you to focus on my left hand, and the trick is taking place in my right hand.

这话再准确不过了。正是如此，而这正是对人类行为的洞察。

That's that couldn't be more true. That's exactly it, but that's that is knowing human behavior.

给我解释下原因。

Explain to me why.

我不想用'控制'这个词，听起来太狡猾——但我确实在引导你的注意力和思维。我以某种方式诱导你选择我想要的东西，或在不自觉中透露你以为没泄露的信息。要不要来个有趣的例子？当然。你立刻能想到...

I don't want to say controlling because it sounds very devious, but I'm controlling your attention and your thoughts. I'm guiding you in a certain way to either select what I'd like or to give away something that you feel you have not given away. Should we should we do a fun example? Sure. Do you know off the top of your head

你看过多少集这个节目了？我想大概有500集吧。

how many episodes you've had of this show? I think it's roughly 500.

我也这么觉得。闭上眼睛。我想把这个变成视觉游戏。你身处一个房间，里面全是你见过、看过、尊敬的不同人。明白吗？

I believe so. Close your eyes. I want make this a visual game. You're in this room of all different people that you've looked at, you've seen, that you respect. Okay?

其中一些人可能是节目嘉宾。然后有人轻拍你的肩膀。你转过身，看到这个人，百分百是你之前见过的。他们对你说了一句话。

Some of them could have been guests on the show. And then you get a tap on the shoulder. You turn around. You look at this person, and it's somebody you've met before, 100%. And they say something to you.

他们以前也对你说过这句话，让你有种似曾相识的感觉，而且这句话很有冲击力，给你留下了深刻印象。这个描述准确吗？

They've said it to you before, and you get deja vu, and it's something impactful. It left an impression on you. Is that a fair assessment?

是的。

Yeah.

本质上，就在那一刻，砰地一下，让你想到了另一个人。我不确定他们是否提到过这个人，但那个领悟、那个想法、那个顿悟或智慧的瞬间让你联想到了你生命中的另一个人。这两者是有联系的。对。下一个人，我要说的是二号人物。

And that inherently, right there, boom, that makes you think of another person. I don't know whether I don't think they mentioned this other person, but something about that takeaway or that that thought or that moment of clarity or wisdom made you think of someone else in your life. It was connected to them. Yeah. This next person, person number two, I'm calling.

他们跳过去了。睁开眼睛。你上次和那个人说话是什么时候？

They jumped over. Open your eyes. When was the last time you had spoken to that person?

第二个人。

The person number two.

是的。

Yeah.

今天。

Today.

今天。好的。让我们深入这个思路。想想他们的名字。在心里数一下字母数。

Today. Okay. Let's let's lean into this. Think of their first name. Count the letters to yourself.

别说出来？对。而且是你很熟悉的人，你今天和他们说过话。我观察了你的眼神。你往上、往上、往上、往上看。

Don't say it? Yeah. And somebody you know well, you've spoken to them today. I watched your eyes. You went up, up, up, up.

五个字母，对吧？是的。你问我怎么做到的。你说，我是不是研究过别人？你自己就暴露了。

Five letters, isn't it? Yeah. You asked me how I do it. You said, do I study people? You just gave it away yourself.

有五个字母可选。字母表有26个字母。选这个人名字里的任何一个字母。稍微打乱一下顺序。对。

There's five letters to choose from. There's 26 in the alphabet. Pick any letter in this person's first name. Mix them up a little. Yeah.

然后你抽出一张，就决定这是我要重点关注的字母。是的。以我对你的了解，作为企业家，看过你接受采访的方式，我想我知道你会怎么做。既然你认识达伦·布朗，你明白其中的一些原理。所以你的直觉是违背直觉，因为我知道这太明显了。

And then you grab one out, and you just decide this is the letter I want to focus on. Yeah. Now knowing you, knowing you as an entrepreneur, knowing you the way you give interviews, I think I know what you would want to do. Knowing that you know Darren Brown, you know how some of this works. So your instinct was to go against your instinct because you, I know this would be obvious.

你没考虑第一个字母，对吧？不，你不想选。你觉得那样会暴露答案。是的。

You didn't think of the first letter, did you? No. You didn't want to. You thought that would give it away. Yeah.

因为一旦我知道了，剩下的就容易猜了。而且我知道名字里有元音。所以你本质上说，这限制了我的选择范围。你没选元音吧？没有。

Because once I know that, it's easier to figure out the rest. And then I know there's vowels in the name. And so inherently you said, that limits my subset. You didn't do a vowel, did you? No.

L。你在想L吗？不。我明白了。有趣的是，你说'不'的同时，等于泄露了两个信息。

L. Are you thinking of an L? No. I got it. It's funny because by you saying no, means you gave away both.

我已经写下来了。你能闭上眼睛吗？为了让视频观众看到，我要展示给他们看。对于其他戴着耳机跑步或做其他事只听音频的朋友，这不会改变我写的内容。打开吧。

I've written this down. Can you close your eyes? For the viewers who are watching this as a video, I'm going to show them. And for everybody else to know who's just listening in their headphones while running or doing something, this can't change what I wrote down. Open it up.

打开你的——你原本想选S，但从L改主意了。对吗？告诉大家。他们的名字是什么？朱尔斯。

Open up your you thought of an s, but switched from the l. Is that correct? Tell us all. What is their first name? Jules.

朱尔斯。

Jules.

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要知道，当你走进房间，人们听说你是读心术师时，他们就已经有点紧张了。你能明显看出他们的戒备状态，对吧？

You know, you walk into rooms and people hear that you're a mentalist, so they're already, like, somewhat on edge. Yeah. And you can see you can see that they're on edge. Right?

是啊，你得先缓和气氛，因为...

Yeah. You gotta sweeten it because

那你怎么应对这种情况？无论走到哪里，人们都会想'这家伙该不会能猜出我的...'——这就是他们的心理活动。他们觉得你可能猜出银行密码，所以会严防死守。你这辈子遇到的人肯定都对你紧闭心门吧？

So how do what do you do about that? Because everywhere you go, people are gonna be like, fuck this guy. He might be able to guess my you know, that's what they're thinking. They're thinking he can guess my bank pin, so I'm gonna give nothing away. So you must be meeting people that are, like, closed off your entire life.

你如何让他们从封闭状态转为敞开心扉？

How would you get them to go from closed to open up?

我认为关键在于让人喜欢你。想象一下：如果你遇到一个真能读心的人（我必须澄清我并不会读心术，整个过程都要说明这点，因为人们总问'他想教什么把戏'），重点是要让人觉得你值得信任。

I think it's being likable. So this think about it. If you met somebody who could really read your mind, and I can't read minds. Just I wanna be clear throughout the process because people say, oh, what's he trying to teach? I can't read minds.

我不是通灵者，也没有超自然能力，更不会声称自己具备这些。你也能做到这些，只是可能不如我做得好，因为我认为这其中存在天赋差异。

I'm not psychic. I am not supernatural. I don't claim to be. You could do this. Maybe not as well, because I think there's an inherent talent.

就像音乐天赋一样。我不会弹吉他，唱歌也五音不全。无论接受多少训练，我永远不可能拥有哈里·斯泰尔斯或艾德·希兰那样的嗓音。这不是我能拥有的天赋。

Just same as musical talent. I can't play a guitar. I can't sing to save my life. No matter how much training you give me, I will never have the voice of Harry Styles or Ed Sheeran. It's not in the cards for me.

但你是在诱导我认为我的眼球运动起了作用。

But you're tricking me to think that my eye movements played a role.

那么我告诉你：我确实在诱导你相信某些因素比其他更重要。你的眼球运动和肢体语言确实起作用，但究竟是10%、50%还是100%的作用——这完全真实。我的工作就是误导你，并运用多种手法。没错。

So I will tell you this. I am tricking you to believe that certain things are more important than others. Your eye movements and body language play a role, but whether it played a 10% role, a 50% role, a 100% role, that's 100% true. My job is to misdirect you and to use multiple methods. Yeah.

这样当你刚以为抓住我的把柄时，我就立刻转换方式，用另一种手法应对。

So that as soon as you go down a path and you think you got me, I jump to the next lane, I do it a different way.

还有一种可能：你刚才的把戏与我的眼睛完全无关（0%关联）。

There's also a possibility that 0% of that trick you just did was about my eyes.

但我可没说过这和你的眼睛有关，不是吗？

I didn't say it was about your eyes though, did I?

你说你查了一、二、三、四、五。

You said you looked up the one, two, three, four, five.

这完全正确。不过你自己试试看。老实说，亲自尝试一下。有人数了多少个字母？如果名字很长，处理起来就更耗时。

That is absolutely true. Try it for yourself though. Honestly, try it for yourself. How many letters somebody counts? If they have a long name, it takes longer to process.

在日常生活中，你不太可能用到名字和数字母这种技能。嗯哼。就算我演示给你看，你尝试去做，并且有75%的正确率——这个结果可能会让你自己都惊讶——之后呢？谁在乎？你们大多数人不会花几十年去学读心术。

You aren't going to be able to use a name and counting the number of letters in your day to day life. Mhmm. So if I were to show you how to do it, you were to attempt it, and you were to get it right 75% of the time, which you'd be shocked that you would, you'd then go, now what? Who cares? Most of you are not going to take and spend the next decades learning mentalism.

相反，我会尝试提取读心术中最精华的部分，展示如何运用它们。另一个关键点是自信。人们如何建立自信？我14岁刚开始做这个时，可没现在这么自信。

Rather, I'm going to try and take the most important parts of mentalism and show you how you can use them. Another huge one is just confidence. How do people build confidence? When I was 14 and I started doing this, was I this hyperconfident teenager? No.

那时我父母刚离婚，生活一片混乱。我觉得做这些是为了逃避创伤和悲伤。自信是逐渐建立的。那么有什么方法能加速这个过程呢？

My folks just got divorced. My life was pretty tumultuous. I think I did this as a way to not have to deal with all of the trauma and kind of sadness. And confidence gets built over time. So what's a better way to fast track that?

对很多人来说，当你走进会议室要做汇报时，是不是紧张得要命？我想大多数人会说是。你同意吗？

For a lot of people, you walk into a room, you have to give a presentation. Are you nervous as hell? I think most people would say yes. Would you agree to that?

嗯。

Mhmm.

明天你能做些什么让自己走进去时感觉像掌控全场？就像我面对百万观众上电视或此刻面对数百万观众一样。我认为很大程度上与我们内心的恐慌有关——我们害怕某种感受，比如我总有些害怕做的事。比方说要打电话说些我不想说的话，或者必须拒绝某人的请求。

What can you do tomorrow to get in there and feel like you own the room? The same way I go on TV for a million people or right now for millions. I think there's so much of it has to do with there's a panic that we have in us where we take and we fear a certain feeling, which is I have certain things that I dread doing. Like, let's say I have to call someone and give a call of things I don't want to say. I have to I have to turn someone down for something.

我讨厌这样。我会千方百计逃避。就像你拖延不想做的事一样。我有个心理小技巧：我会问自己，明天我对这事会有什么感觉？明天我会怎么想？

I hate that. I'm avoiding it at all lengths. The same way you procrastinate things you don't want to do. I have this little trick in my mind where what I do is I ask myself, what will I feel like tomorrow about this? What will I feel like tomorrow?

如果我能把感受快进到明天会怎样？与其悬而未决，不如现在就试试。听众朋友们，你们有什么不想做的事？不想打的电话，不想传达的坏消息，明知对方会痛骂你一顿。

What if I could fast forward my feelings to tomorrow? And instead of just, you know, up in the air, try it right now. What's something that you, the listener don't want to do? You don't want to call someone, don't want to deliver bad news. You know, this person's about to ream you out.

你不惜一切代价逃避。把日程推到明天、后天。别拖了，现在就做。我要你设个24小时后的闹钟。

You're avoiding it at all costs. You're moving it in your calendar to tomorrow, the next day. Keep doing that. Do it now. And I want you to set an alarm twenty four hours from now.

认真地说，把闹钟设成「明天」。记录下你对这件事的感受，用1到10分级。刚挂电话时你会感到恐惧。

Put it in your in your I'm not I'm for real. Put an alarm that says tomorrow. Write down how you feel about this. Scale of one to 10. Right when you finish the call, you're going to feel the dread before it.

恐惧值会达到8、9甚至10分。但第二天闹钟响起时问问自己：我现在感觉如何？多数时候你毫无感觉，只有2、3分。眼不见心不烦。

You're going to feel an eight, nine, 10 of dread. The next day when the alarm goes off, ask yourself, how do I feel? Most of the time you feel nothing. Two or three. It's out of sight, out of mind.

所以何不像我骗你们以为眼球运动有关联那样，欺骗自己的大脑呢？让大脑预演明天的感受——其实毫无感觉。何不开始这样训练自己？重塑大脑认知：一天后我就会释怀。

So what if you could trick your brain the same way I tricked you to think your eye movements have anything to do with it? Trick your own brain to see how you feel a day from now. You feel nothing. So what if you can just start doing that to yourself? Rewire your brain and say, I'm going to feel nothing in a day.

管他的，我现在就做。克服拖延症的这个技巧能极大增强自信。另一个例子是，当我走向餐桌时，人们会赶我走。他们会说：'滚开。'

Screw it. I'm going to do it now. And just that trick of getting over procrastination builds a tremendous amount of confidence. Another one is I would walk up to tables and people would kick me out. They'd be like, get out of here.

他们不会注意我。那些会伤害我感情的事。于是我在脑海中创造了两个独立人格——一个是表演者奥赛魔术师，现在是读心者奥赛；另一个才是真实的奥赛·珀尔曼。

They wouldn't pay attention to me. Things that would hurt my feelings. So what I did is I created in my mind some way where I have two separate personalities. This guy was the entertainer, Ose the magician, now Ose the mentalist. This guy was Ose Perlman.

他们不认识真实的我。那是另一个人。所以当我走向餐桌被拒绝时，我把伤痛转移到另一个人格身上，心想：'看吧，他们不喜欢的是那个表演者。'

They don't know the real me. That's a different guy. So when I walked up to a table and got turned down or rudely rejected, instead of me feeling that pain in myself, I pushed it somewhere else. And I go, you know what? They didn't like always the entertainer.

那是另一个人。那不是我。就像现在拿碗水倒入盐，就成了盐水。但如果我们用隐形塑料片隔开，把盐全倒在一边，这边就仍是淡水。

That's a different guy. That's not me. And so the same way that if you took right now a bowl of water right here and we poured salt in the water, it's salt water. But what if we could take an invisible small piece of plastic and put it right down the center, and now you pour all the salt in one side, this side is immune. This is fresh water.

如果你能这样操控自己的思维，像我运用魔术手法那样自我催眠，就能消除刺痛感。太多人因害怕失败而不敢追求目标，关键就在于责任归属——你害怕被拒绝。若能克服这点，就是获得了人生超能力。就像你问我：'怎么知道这事能成？'

If you can do that in your own mind, the same way that I use my tricks to trick your mind, trick your own mind, That will take away the sting because so many of us, we don't go after our goals because we're scared of what happens if they don't work out. It's all about accountability. You fear the rejection. And if you can get over that, it is a superpower in life. The same way you asked me, how did you know it was going to work?

因为我停止考虑失败的可能性。那些一心只想着如何成功的人，才是真正的创业者、成功者、运动员——他们极度专注，非要实现目标不可。

Because I stopped thinking about it not working. And people that have that singular focus on making something work, those are the entrepreneurs. Those are the people that you see achieve. Those are the athletes. Those are the people who have a hyper fixation and focus on a goal that they will make it happen.

他们让梦想显化。

They manifest it.

那么关于沟通方式及其重要性呢？作为表演者，你在与人交流时会考虑什么来确保观众全神贯注并保持参与感？

And what about communication, your communication style and how important that is? Like, what are you thinking about when you're communicating as an entertainer to make sure people are paying attention and they're engaged?

要时刻观察观众。观众从不说谎。你必须准确评估观众给你的反馈。我会观察人们——他们是兴致盎然？还是如坐针毡？

Be watching the audience all the time. The audience never lies. So you have to really assess what the audience is throwing at you. And I'm seeing people and I'm seeing, are they interested? Are they on the edge of their seat?

他们是否身体前倾？这是兴趣的指标。还是后仰看表？打哈欠？当然你无法兼顾所有人。

Are they leaning forward? Indicators of interest. Are they sitting back and checking their watch? Are they yawning? Obviously, you can't do this with everybody.

面对千人会场时，或许有人宿醉未醒，或许有人因婴儿哭闹整夜又搭乘红眼航班。我虽无法了解每个人，但能通过个体反应及时调整表演节奏，测试如何持续吸引注意力。如果此刻我是听众，我会关掉视频吗？

When I'm in a room with 1,000 people, maybe one guy's hungover. Maybe their baby didn't sleep last night and they had a red eye flight. I can't know everyone, but I can watch individuals and see how they're reacting to me. And I can quickly change and pivot and see how I can continue keeping their attention. And if I was listening to this right now, am I turning it off?

我会快进跳过吗？能获得实际收获吗？若能从中获取三项明日可执行的建议，就是巨大成功。因为哪怕别人只说了一个让我觉得能改变人生的诀窍，也要付诸行动。我崇尚行动力，毕竟太多时候人们缺乏执行力。

Am I fast forwarding? Am I getting tangible takeaways? If I get three things from this that I can put into action tomorrow, this is smash success. Because if I get one thing that somebody says to me, like one tidbit that they say, feel like that can change your life, then take action. I'm all about action because I think in so many instances, there's no accountability.

所谓励志鸡汤都是垃圾。我根本不在乎是否激励了你。我要的是行动。你的目标是什么？想减肥？

Inspiration motivation is garbage. I could care less if I've inspired you. I want action. What is your goal? Do you want to lose weight?

想赚特定数额的钱？明年要挣百万美元？这真能让你快乐吗？很多时候我们设定自认为重要的目标，但实现后才发现——过去十年我赚的钱远超二十年前梦想的数额。

Do you want to make a certain amount of money? Are you making a million dollars next year? Is that really going to make you happy? So a lot of the time we make goals that we think of, but then we get them. You know, I have made more money in the last ten years than if you asked me ten years about I dreamt possible.

那能让你快乐吗？它让生活更轻松，但我认为这不仅仅是纯粹的满足感。我认识很多非常非常富有的人，他们并不快乐。我身边有很多富人。这就是我的常态，我自问，他们都是亿万富翁。

Does that make you happy? It makes life easier, but I don't think it's just pure fulfillment. I know a lot of people that are very, very wealthy and they aren't happy. I'm around a lot of wealthy people. It's just a nature of my thing and I ask myself, they're billionaires.

如果这不能让你快乐，那什么能呢？我不认为金钱总是你应该追求的目标。我理解为什么我小时候没有很多钱，所以那对我来说就像是成功的晴雨表。但随着我有了孩子，看到生命短暂并感受到自己的有限，我意识到有些事情比金钱重要得多。但如果你有目标，就让这成为提示，不是激励你，而是真正采取行动。

And if this isn't making you happy, what is? I don't think that money is always the goal that you should attain. I understand why I didn't have a lot of money as a kid, so that was like a barometer of success for me. But as I have kids and as I see that life is short and feel my mortality, I realize some things are much more important than money. But if you have a goal, let this be the cue, not to inspire you, but to literally take action.

现在，你想做什么？前几天有人跟我聊天。他们说，伙计，我喜欢看你跑步。我很想跑步。停下。

Right now, what is it that you want to do? I somebody talked to me the other day. They said, man, I love watching you run. I would love to run. Stop.

开始跑步。明天，在你的日历上设个提醒。就是明天，我的第一次跑步。然后设一个30天后的提醒，确保你负责，然后决定什么能让你负责。对我来说，我不喜欢尴尬。

Start running. Tomorrow, put a reminder in your calendar. Literally tomorrow, my first run. Then put one thirty days from now to make sure you're accountable and then decide what makes you accountable. For me, I don't like to be embarrassed.

所以我要写信给我认识的10个人，告诉他们我要报名参加10公里跑。这样如果我不去做，将来谈话中就会提到，他们会说，嘿，史蒂夫，10公里跑怎么样了？现在我必须向10个不同的人低头认错，对他们说，你知道吗？我没做到。哦，哦，好吧。

So I'm going to write to 10 people that I know and tell them I'm signing up for a 10 ks. So that now if I don't go through with it, it's going to come up in a future conversation and they're going to say, hey, Steve, whatever I want the 10 ks. Now I have to eat humble pie with 10 different people and say to them, you know what? I didn't do it. Oh, oh, okay.

你没做到。我希望那成为我的动力。也许你的动力是内在的。也许是外在的，但找到激励你的东西，并用那些杠杆来产生行动。

You didn't do it. I want that to be my motivator. Maybe your motivator is internal. Maybe it's external, but find what motivates you and use those levers to generate action.

你知道，在你的职业中，很多像丹·布朗那样的情况，他会让你觉得就像我们之前说的，比如，那是我的右手，但实际上是我的左手。是的。就像，你如何应对这样一个角色，其工作就是某种程度上误导我，让我以为是右手不是左手或其他什么，但同时又要给人们提供能让他们在生活中成功的信息？

You know, in your profession, a lot of the like with Dan Brown, a lot of it is he'll make you think that like we said earlier, like, it's it's my right hand, but actually it's my left. Yep. Like, how do you contend with being someone whose job it is to sort of misdirect me to make me think it's my right hand, not my left or whatever, but then also trying to give people information that will make them successful in their lives?

没错。关于道德层面，我并不是要向你推销什么读心术或通灵能力。这是另一回事。我所掌握的各项技能，就像《人性的弱点》里教的那样——如何赢得朋友并影响他人。

Right. Well, the ethics of it. I'm not trying to sell you anything about being a mind reader or a mentalist. This is a separate pursuit. The skills surrounding everything I do, those skills, it's like how to win friends and influence people.

这本书我反复读过很多遍。我不想说它过时，但它确实属于另一个时代。让我在行业中接近巅峰的并非那些技巧，别人也能做到这些。

It's a book I've read over and over and over. It's, it's I don't wanna say it's dated, but it's of a different era. The skills that allowed me to reach near the top of my profession aren't the tricks. There's other people that can do that. There's other people that can do this.

能猜中你牌的人多的是。那么是什么让我脱颖而出？我做得比他们更好吗？这个由你来判断。

There's other people that can guess your card. So what led me to hear? Yeah. Do I do it better than them? I'll let you decide that.

我成功的秘诀，正是你可以运用到生活中的方法。关键在于我把焦点放在他人而非自己身上。我如何能上这么多电视节目？如何获得如此广泛的受众？

My secrets to success are the exact same ones you can apply to your life. That's the key. The fact that I've made it about them, not me. How have I been on all these TV shows? How have I had such a wide diversity?

这与表演无关，而在于我扭转了视角。当你意识到成功的关键是让他人成为主角，考虑他们的想法时，你就掌握了真正的通灵术——洞悉他人所思并予以回应。

Has nothing to do with performing. It has to do with me turning the mirror around. The moment you realize that you will be successful in your life when you start making other people the star, thinking about them, thinking about what's going on in their head. That's true mentalism. What are they thinking and how do I deliver on that?

如何让他们光彩照人？如何让他们更喜欢我？如何赢得他们的信任，使他们在需要推荐人选或给予机会时首先想到你？这些技巧虽非传统通灵术，却是我使用的相同工具——不是猜数字或名字，

How do I make them look good? How do I make them like me more? How do I win them over so that when the moment comes for them to recommend somebody or to give them a raise or do something, they know that you're the person that they think of first. And I think those skills, again, I wouldn't it's not really mentalism, but it's the exact same tools that I use. It's not guessing numbers or names.

而是懂得如何影响他人。若不具备这种影响力，我刚才的所有表演都会失效——你会直接拒绝配合。

It's knowing how to influence others. And if I wasn't able to influence people, none of the things I just did would work. You would just say, no. I'm not gonna do that.

关于倾听的技巧，我认为这对你所说的讨人喜欢和赢得人心非常重要，你有没有一套成为优秀倾听者的体系或框架？你在书的末尾部分略有提及，我记得你提出了五种提升积极倾听能力的方法。能详细说说吗？

On the skill of listening, which I I think is also so important to what you're saying there about being likable and peep winning people over, do you have a system or a framework for being a great listener? You talk about it a little bit in the book near the end. I think you have five ways to become a better active listener. Yes. Can you run me through those?

当然。要不要先听个有趣的故事？好，这算是开场白吧。我曾为史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格办过一场派对。

Sure. Should I give you a funny story? Sure. Kind of led this off. So I did a party for Steven Spielberg.

没错，那是他父亲的90岁寿宴，规模相当私密。我当时心里明显很紧张——不是担心表演，而是因为要见到斯皮尔伯格。他定义了我们这代人的童年，我想对全球数十亿人也是如此。

Yep. It was his father's 90 birthday. It was pretty intimate affair. I was noticeably nervous in my mind, not for the performance, but to meet Steven Spielberg. So he defined an era of my childhood, and I feel like likely for a billion or several billion other people.

演出结束后，他过来向我道谢，而我明明准备充分...结果却一个问题都没能问出口。知道为什么吗？因为他全程都在和我说话，连珠炮似地追问我的生活经历和人生动力，我反而一直想喊暂停——我可有满肚子问题要问你啊。

So at the end of the show, he comes up to thank me, and I'm I'm ready. I was able to ask Steven Spielberg zero questions. Do you know why? He talked to me the whole time. He kept asking me questions, rapid fire, this, and about my life, and about what drove me, and I just wanted to keep being like, pause, I got questions for you.

他可是史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格啊！却把话题完全聚焦在我身上。那天我领悟到：倾听才是更强大的能力，房间里最有趣的人往往是对他人最感兴趣的人。我见过那些最成功、最真实的人，他们会直视你的眼睛，全神贯注，不会东张西望，给予你百分之百的专注力，并且会提出别人从未问过你的问题。

You're Steven Spielberg. He made it all about me. All about me. And I learned it that day that that it's a greater power to listen, and that the most interesting person in a room tends to be the most interested person in the room. And that some of the people I've seen that are the most successful, the most authentic and genuine, they will look you in the eye, they will lock in, they will not be looking around at other people, and they will give you their 100% undivided attention, And they will ask you questions that other people haven't asked you before.

我建议大家——初次见面别问那些套路问题。'你是做什么工作的？'这种问题一旦出口，我们就会进入自动驾驶模式。我自己也会这样，并非在指责谁，大多数人都如此。

And I challenge you, don't just do the normal question when you meet somebody. Oh, what do you do for a living? Oh, what we, as soon as we do that, we go into autopilot. I go into autopilot and I'm not judging you. Most people do that.

对吧？50%的人注定低于平均水平，49.9%高于平均。关键在于挑战自我成为那个例外——提前构思或临场想出能让人跳出惯性思维的问题，让对方惊叹'哇，我从没想过这个'。

Right? 50% of people have to be below average. Right? And 49.9% are above average. That's inherently the challenge yourself to be the outlier and think of a question you can ask someone if you have time to think of it in advance or in the moment that throws them out of autopilot, that makes them think, wow, I haven't really thought of that before.

提出非是非题的问题也很棒。让他们通过问题探索自我，我认为这是积极倾听的重要部分。我会让听众引导我了解他们的兴趣所在。今天走进这里时，我让大家想一个类别中最喜欢的东西。

Asking questions that are not yes or no questions are also great. Ask questions that let them explore who they are. I think that's a big part of active listening. And I let the audience guide me to what's of interest to them. When we walked in here today, I said to think of a favorite of of a category.

如果我知道类别，就能猜出答案吗？不能。问题是什么？你知道吗？直接告诉我。

If I knew the category, would I be able to guess what the answer was? No. What is the question? You know what? Tell it to me.

甚至不需要写下来。我希望你直接说出来。把问题告诉我。你定义了答案的那个问题是什么？告诉我那个问题。

Don't even want don't want to write anything down. I want you to just say it out loud. Give me the question. What is the question that you have defined the answer to? Give me that question.

问我吧。我最喜欢什么？车。我最喜欢的车是什么？对。

Ask it to me. What is my favorite? Car. What is my favorite car? Yeah.

你觉得我绝对不可能知道答案？没有任何前期研究能让我知晓？

And you think there's no way I could know that? No prior research could have alerted me to it.

没有任何前期研究。没有。

No prior research. No.

你决定的方式和对待Joules时一样。我要你想着那辆车的名字，无论是品牌还是型号，然后从中选出一个字母。我猜应该是多个单词组成的名称，除非你只说'forward'。再次强调，我不想引导你。但如果是多个单词，比如两三个或四个词，就选定其中一个词。

You decide the same way that you do with Joules. I want you to think of the name of the car, whether it's the brand, whether it's the make, and I want you to pick one letter out from anywhere. From from I is I'm assuming it's more than one word unless you just said forward. I again, I don't wanna lead you. But if it is more than one word, and if it's two, three, four words, decide on one of the words.

你决定好选哪个词了吗？是的。

Have you decided on one of the words? Yeah.

好的。选一个词。

Okay. One of the words.

别再说别的了。看，你刚才说那很有趣。现在决定选一个词

Don't say another word. Now, see, you're just saying that was interesting. Decide on one of the words

对。

Yeah.

然后选其中一个字母。选你觉得有趣的。抓住那个字母，只专注于它。是的。

And pick one of the letters. Something interesting to you. Grab the one letter and just focus on that one letter. Yeah.

你选好了吗？

You have it?

是的。现在你问我了。你说这都是障眼法对吧？那些眼球转动都只是表面功夫，但你刚才已经透露了一些东西。

Yeah. Now you asked me. You said it's all misdirection. Right? The eye movements, this is all just window dressing, but you just gave something away.

你因为困惑而用疑问语气说了其中一个词。如果只是一个词的话你不知道该怎么办。如果是三个词我绝不会那么说。为什么它会是其中一个词？当然，它就是其中一个词。

You said one of the words with a question because you were confused. You didn't know what to do if it was only one word. I would never have said that if it was three words. Why would it be one of the words? Of course, it's one of the words.

所以你选了一个，然后我觉得这个词在你脑海中闪过。你读了。你想到它的最后一个字母了吗？没有。好吧。

So you did one, and then I think this one went through your head. You read. You went to the last did you think of the last letter of it? No. Okay.

那本应是我的第一猜测。但既然你没猜中，我要重新来。你在想字母y吗？不对。玛莎拉蒂、法拉利、兰博基尼，这些都不像你。

So that would have been my first guess. But now that you didn't, I'm gonna go back. Are you thinking of the letter y? No. Maserati, Ferrari, Lamborghini, it's not like you.

闭上眼睛。睁开眼。我已经写下来了。我不能改主意了。是什么车？

Close your eyes. Open your eyes. I've written it down. I can't change my mind. What car is it?

是，是我的赛博卡车。

It's, it's my Cybertruck.

这是你的赛博卡车。我就猜到会是这个。

It is your Cybertruck. That's what I thought it would be.

对。对。我刚才想的是字母t。T。我最初确实想过y。

Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of the letter t. T. I did originally think of y.

你做了？是的。然后我搬到了T。对。

You did? Yeah. And then I moved to to t. Yeah.

如果我每次都做对了，那就

If I got it right every time, it would be

成魔术表演了。所以有时候表演时，事情难免会出错。

a magic show. So sometimes when you perform, you things must go wrong sometimes.

这取决于错误的程度和规模。如果破坏性地出错，比如灾难性的错误，通常不是什么好事。

It depends, like, what level they go wrong at what scale. Yeah. If it goes dis destructively, like catastrophically wrong, it's not always good.

告诉我一次灾难性出错的情况。

Tell me a time when it went catastrophically wrong.

哦，你可以翻出十五年前的电视节目，那时我刚明白，如果你做线性的事情——比如我展示我的手并告诉你接下来会发生什么，你就掌握了主动权。什么意思呢？如果我说要猜这个却猜错了，你就知道我错了。但如果你不知道电影结局呢？那我给你看另一个结局时，你也不知道原本不该那样结束。

Oh, so you can dig up old TV appearances, from fifteen years ago where just, you know, purely I started learning that if you do something linear, which is if I show you my hand and tell you where this is going, then you have the power. What do I mean by that? If I said, I'm going to guess this and then I get it wrong, then you know I got it wrong. What if you don't know the ending of the movie? Then if I show you an alternate ending, you don't know that the movie wasn't supposed to end that way.

所以我早就学会不让你掌握主动权，由我来掌控。甚至'出错'这个概念本身就意味着你知道什么是对的。明白吗？但如果你根本不知道什么是对的，因为我同时在做许多不同的事，最终总能找到正确的方式呢？

So I learned early on that I'm not going to let you hold the cards, I hold the cards. So when you even the the the notion of get it wrong means you knew what making it getting it right was. Does that make sense? Yeah. But what if you don't know what getting it right was because I'm doing so many different things at once that I will eventually find a way to get it right?

嗯，你明白我的意思吗？

Mhmm. You see what I mean?

是的。你有没有学到在社交场合打破僵局的方法？你在书中稍微提到过这个，其中一种方式是从不同角度处理你预设对方会有的反对意见。但总的来说，在生活中遇到这些人时，当你试图消除对方戒备心时——是的，还有什么值得了解的技巧能用于日常生活吗？

Yeah. And have you learned any ways to break the ice in social situations? You talk I think you talk about you do talk about this a little bit in the book, but you you one of the ways that you talked about is object sort of handling the objection that you're assuming one has, approaching from a different angle. But just generally in life, when you meet these people and you're trying to disarm people Yes. Is there anything else that is worth knowing there that people can use for their in their everyday lives?

我喜欢把内心独白说出来。所以我喜欢抓住那些我知道大家都在想的事情

I like having an inner monologue out loud. So I like to take things that I know everyone is thinking

嗯

Mhmm.

然后敞开心扉，展现一些脆弱性。比如在一个尴尬的社交场合中，你会怎么做？你想封闭自己吗？还是想融入这里？

And open up, show some vulnerability. So a great way, you're in an uncomfortable social setting. What do you wanna do? You wanna shut down? You wanna be here?

我觉得主动走向某人很有力量，可以说'我好紧张，这里的人我都不认识，你认识谁吗？'这种敞开心扉的时刻。我不愿称之为过度分享，因为有些人会做得太过火，开始说太多私事。但展现真实的自己与脆弱面，我认为这是一种神奇的品质。

I think walking up to somebody has a real power and say, I'm so nervous. I don't know anyone here. Do you know anyone here? Like that moment of opening yourself up. And I don't want to call it oversharing because some people take that to too much of a degree and start, you know, telling you too much, but showing that you are a real person and vulnerable, I think just it's a, it's a magical quality.

我遇到过这样对我做的人——你会迅速获得一种亲密感和熟悉感，这是普通寒暄无法达到的。你见过那些拥有瞬间魅力的人吗？当他们走进房间时，所有人都会被吸引过去。你搞不清那是什么特质，是他们训练出来的吗？

And I've had people that do it to me that you gain an intimacy and a familiarity with them very quickly that you wouldn't have if we were just small talking each other. Have you ever met those people that have that instant charisma that when they walk in the room, everyone gravitates towards them? And you don't know what that is. What is that quality they have? Did they train it?

这是天生的吗？他们生来就有这种能力吗？对我来说，我没有那种天赋，所以我作弊了，开始变魔术。

Is it innate? Are they born with it? For me, I didn't have that, so I cheated and started doing magic tricks.

我记得吉米·卡尔对我说过，人们总以为喜剧演员很抑郁之类的，但他说更好的提问方式永远是：你想让谁振作起来？对吧。我在想这是否与你的情况有任何关联。

I remember Jimmy Carr saying to me that, you know, people think comedians are depressed or whatever, but he said a better question to ask is always who are you trying to cheer up? Right. And I wonder if that's relevant at all to your situation.

我想我是试图与人建立联系。是的。我觉得我当时很紧张，有点笨拙。我并不内向。主动接近陌生人对我来说没问题，但我觉得这逐渐变成了一种瘾——沉迷于观看人们惊叹和欣喜的反应。

I think I was trying to connect with people. Yeah. I think that I was nervous, a little bit awkward. I wasn't introverted. I had no problem walking up to strangers, but I think that it became this, just, this addiction to watching people being amazed and overjoyed in the reactions.

我为那些反应而活。有些变魔术的人是为自己表演。某种程度上我也带着愧疚感这么做，因为期待他人反应确实有自私的成分。但对我来说，更多的是那份快乐。直到今天，我喜欢说我的职业不是欺骗。

I live for the reactions. Some people that do magic, they do it for themselves. In a guilty way, kind of do as well because there is a selfish angle to seeing reactions. But to me, it's more the joy. And to this day, what I like to say that I do for a living is not deceive.

我的工作不是愚弄你。我的工作是创造难忘的瞬间。不是惊人的瞬间——'惊人'只是子集，'难忘'才是核心。

My job is not to fool you. My job is to create memorable moments. Not amazing moments. Amazing is a subset. Memorable.

因为如果我让你惊叹，你却转眼就忘，那我就失败了。彻底失败。就像我走进电影院看动作片，吃爆米花，散场后十分钟你问我电影讲了什么，我说不知道。

Because if I amaze you and you forget it, I have failed. I failed. It's the same as if I walk into a movie an action movie, I eat a lot of popcorn, I walk out. Ten minutes later you say to me, what was the movie about? I don't know.

记下来——'我不知道'。一个月后你问我：看过那部电影吗？我反问：我看过吗？就是这种反应，这种冷漠，对我所做的事来说是致命的。

Write that, I don't know. And a month later you ask me, have you seen that movie? And I go, did I see that movie? That, right there, that response is the death for what I do, apathy.

在书中第166页，你谈到了提升记忆力。是的，我需要了解什么？为什么提高记忆力很重要？提升记忆力在哪些方面能帮助我更好地与他人建立联系？

And in the book, in page 166, you talk about improving one's memory. Yes. What what do I need to know? Why does it matter to improve my memory? In in what way does improving my memory help me to connect with other people?

我们已经到了一个不需要记忆的时代，对吧？很多人连隔壁城市的路都不认识。如果GPS失灵，祝你好运，对吧？你记不住任何人的电话号码。你能记住几个人的电话号码？

So we've gotten to the point where we don't need our memory, right? A lot of people don't know how to drive to a place, a city next door. They literally with if GPS went out, good luck, right? You don't know anyone's phone numbers. How many people's phone numbers do you have memorized?

寥寥无几。一个。没错。明天你的iPhone消失了，没有苹果，没有云端。

Few and far between. One. Exactly. Tomorrow, your iPhone goes away. No, no, no Apple, no cloud.

你就完蛋了。完蛋了。我说得对吗？如果找不回来，你的生活就...那我们为什么还需要记忆？我认为记忆力是一种超能力，因为现在没人指望你拥有它了。

You're screwed. You're screwed. Am I right? If you can't get that back, your life is so what do we need our memory for? I think memory is a superpower because no one expects you to have it anymore.

多年前你需要它，现在不需要了。我来举个书中的好例子，这是个无法作弊的实用场景。作弊就是我有手机。我们很多人，无论父母、孩子还是青少年，或处于人生任何阶段，很快都会遇到新朋友。见面握手问好，转头就忘了对方名字。

Years ago you need it, now you don't. So I'm going give a great example, one that I have in my book, which is something applicable where you can't cheat. Cheat is I have my phone, and I feel a lot of us, whether we're parents or kids or teens or any stage of life you are, you're going to meet new people at some point soon. You meet them, you shake their hand, you say hello. You just forgot their name.

真的，他们刚说完你就忘了。这种事在你身上发生过多少次？我猜数不清。现在你无法享受对话，因为满脑子都是恐慌。你四处张望想找熟人帮忙介绍，只能祈求老天保佑。

Literally, they just said it to you and you forgot it. How many times this occurred to you? I'm guessing numerous. And now you can't enjoy that conversation because all you do is feel dread. Now you're looking for someone around that you know to introduce them and pray to God.

你会说'这是史蒂文'，然后暗示对方自报姓名。你渴望那个瞬间。所以我有个专门应对这种情况的记忆技巧，还有其他提升记忆力的方法。

You go, this is Steven. Say hello. Like, tell them your name. You know, you want that moment. So I have a trick, a tip for that specific situation as well as others for memory.

但我重新利用了洗发水瓶上的说明，让它深植你脑海。洗发水瓶背面有三个词：起泡、冲洗、重复。对吧？起泡让你的头发闻起来很香。

But I've repurposed the instructions on a shampoo bottle so it sticks in your head. Shampoo bottles have three words on the back. Lather, rinse, repeat. Right? Lather makes your hair smell good.

冲洗清洁你的头发。重复，我们得卖出更多潘婷Pro V。我们都知道这点。人人都知道起泡、冲洗、重复。我会这样描述它。

Rinse cleans your hair. Repeat, we got to sell more Pantene Pro V. So we all know that. Everyone knows lather, rinse, repeat. I will describe it as this.

倾听、重复、回应。倾听、重复、回应。如此简单。第一步听起来很傻。这很滑稽。

Listen, repeat, reply. Listen, repeat, reply. So easy. The first step sounds silly. It's comical.

我为什么要说这个？因为95%的人都做错了第一步。我们根本没有真正倾听。当你听到对方名字时，这不是记忆问题——你从一开始就没记住这个名字。

Why am I even saying this? The first step is what 95% of us do wrong. We don't actually listen. When you hear that person's name, it's not a memory issue. You never even knew the name to begin with.

因为当你走向他们时，就像电脑同时读写一样——对我们大脑来说很难同时进行——你在想别的事。大多数情况下你都在想怎么回应。所以那一刻最关键的就是真正倾听。静下心来。如此简单，但我们却搞砸了。

Because right when you walked up to them, just like a computer, read, write, very hard to read and write at the same time for our brains, you were thinking of something else. You were thinking of what you were going to say back to them in most instances. So at that moment, the number one thing to do is actually listen. Quiet your mind. So simple, so easy, but that's we screw up.

当我刚见到你时，我确保自己听清了你的名字，因为我立刻重复了两遍。Steven？是Steve还是Steven？我想确认清楚。这样我已经说了三遍你的名字。

Right when I woke up to you, I make sure that I've heard your name because I instantly repeat it twice. Steven? Is it Steve or Steven? I want to make sure. I've just said your name three times.

至此，你忘记它的几率已大幅下降。最后一步是回应，可以采用以下三种策略之一：第一，你可以学习拼写。如果名字能拼写，我就会问是带V的Steven还是带PH的？

Already, your chance of forgetting it have gone down dramatically. The last one is reply, which is use one of the three following tactics. One, you could learn how to spell it. You have a name that can be spelled. So I go, is it Steven with a V or a P H?

说到带V的名字，我觉得Steven拼成V更好，这才是正确的拼法，对吧？现在我就把Steven和V联系在一起了。如果不是这类名字，比如Jacob，你不会那样拼写，我可能会对你说些别的。

And you with a V, I go, I like Steven with a V better. That's the right way. Am I right? So now I've associated it, Steven, with a V. If it's not a name like that, if it's, you know, Jacob, you're not going to spell that, I'm going to say to you, I might comment.

我会说，Jacob，我很喜欢你这件衬衫，哪里买的？V领的？Jacob，真的很精神。这样我就创造了一个视觉记忆点。

I go, Jacob, I love that shirt. Where'd you get that from? The v necks? Jacob, really sharp. So now I've created a visual hook.

你就是穿V领衬衫的Jacob，现在我记住你了。第三点是，如果你想的话，可以把名字和你认识的人联系起来。比如我认识一个Steven，特别巧，我姐姐正在和一个叫Steven的人约会。

You're Jacob with the v neck shirt. Now I remember you. Third one is is if you want, you can do something that's a connector to someone else you know. So if I know a Steven, it's so funny. You know, my sister's dating a guy named Steven.

世界真小。这样你就能快速建立联系，我刚才说的这些只需要五秒钟。人人都喜欢被赞美，人人都需要记忆锚点。

Small world. So you've really quickly connected it. That happens in five seconds, what I just said. Everyone likes a compliment. Everyone likes a hook.

在接下来的聚会上，你绝对不会忘记那个人的名字。我向你保证。这个方法对所有年龄段的人都有效。这不是记忆力问题——如果你能记住最好朋友的名字，通过练习并按照我说的做，你也能在五秒内记住派对上新认识的人名。

You will not forget that person's name for the rest of the party. I promise you. And this works on people of all ages. It's not a memory issue. If you can remember your best friend's name, you can remember the name of somebody you met at a party after five seconds if you practice and do exactly what I just said.

作为经常接触人群的人，我认为关键在于会面时的态度。大多数人觉得细节不重要，不觉得记住名字有多关键。他们满脑子都是百万美元的项目提案，想着营销方案，盘算着如何设计报价策略。

And I think a huge part of it as someone that does meet a lot of people is you go into the the meetings with people. And because you don't really think the small stuff matters, you don't think most people don't think someone's name matters that much. They think they're walking into the presentation. They're pitching for a million dollars. They're thinking about the campaign, they're thinking about, you know, how they're gonna structure the offer.

他们根本没意识到名字的重要性。于是你走进会议室，握手说'嗨Deborah，很高兴认识你'，落座后满脑子还是方案、方案、方案。不出三分钟，你就忘了对方名字。读你的书时我深有感触——这确实会造成巨大影响。

They're not thinking about the name being pertinent. So you walk in, you shake hands, hi, Deborah, nice to meet you, Deborah. You walk to your chair, you're still thinking about the campaign, the campaign, the campaign. And within three minutes, you've lost their name. And I do think it really has a huge impact when I when I was reading your book, was thinking like, do you know what?

我在这方面做得不好。我经常遇到很多人，走过去自我介绍，他们告诉我他们的名字。对我来说，那并不是重要的信息。

I don't do a good job of that. I meet loads of people all the time. I walk up, I say my name, they say theirs. For me, that's not important information.

没错。

Right.

然后我想，你知道的

And and I thought, you know

直到你记错名字。那一刻就会成为他们对你的记忆。我会告诉人们，如果你不记得某人的名字，我们总觉得再问一次很尴尬。虽然可以避免这种情况，但我仍然认为这表明你在乎对方。有几个小技巧，比如可以说'请原谅，但我真的很想知道。不知道为什么刚才没记住'。

Until you get it wrong. Then then that's the memory they carry of you. I would say to people, if you don't know someone's name, we think that it's a dreadful thing to ask them again. It's an avoidable thing with this, but I would still say that you're still showing interest and there's a few tactics around it, but say, forgive me, but I really would like to know. I don't know why it slipped my mind.

请再告诉我一次你的名字。我认为这种方式更好，因为人非圣贤，大家都会犯错。我不觉得这有什么问题。所以我愿意让人看到人性化的一面。有时如果能想起来，我会自己回忆。

Tell me your name again, please. I think even that is a much better way to play it because again, you're human, they're human, everyone's vulnerable. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. So I'm okay with letting people know that there's a human side and humanize it. And sometimes if I can figure it out, I will.

但我会说'给我点提示'，让对方帮忙。比如当对方说'天啊'的时候，我有时会通过记忆线索想起来，'哦，我是通过史蒂文认识你的'。

But I'll say, give me a clue and I go help me out. Tell me where it's like, oh my God. And sometimes I have a memory hook and I'll remember who introduced us. I'll go, oh, I met you through Steven.

很多创始人都问我：为什么我在这个平台投放的广告没有效果？可能是文案不够好，创意不够强，但通常问题是他们找错了对话对象——广告根本没触达对的人。在B2B营销中，这至关重要。而领英广告正是帮你解决这个问题，它的定位精准到令人发指。

I've had so many founders speak to me and say, why didn't this particular ad that I ran on this platform work for me? Maybe the copy wasn't good, the creative wasn't strong, but usually the problem is they're not having the right conversation because that ad never reached the right person. And if you're in b two b marketing, that is much of the game. And this is where LinkedIn ads solves that problem for you. Their targeting is ridiculously specific.

你可以按职位、资历、公司规模、行业甚至技能组合定向投放广告。LinkedIn拥有超过10亿专业人士网络，其中约1.3亿是决策者。因此使用LinkedIn广告能让品牌精准触达目标人群。根据我的经验，LinkedIn广告在所有平台中能带来最高的B2B广告投资回报率。如果想尝试，请访问linkedin.com/diary。

You can target by job title, seniority, company size, industry, and even someone's skill set. And their network includes over a billion professionals, about 130,000,000 of them are decision makers. So when you use LinkedIn ads, you're putting your brand in front of the right people. And LinkedIn ads also drive the highest B2B return on ad spend across all ad networks in my experience. If you wanna give them a try, head over to linkedin.com/diary.

当你在首次LinkedIn广告活动中消费250美元，我将额外赠送250美元信用额度用于下次投放。详情见linkedin.com/diary（条款适用）。给我15秒说明如何在线建立可行业务——我见过的成功人士都没有完美计划。

And when you spend $250 on your first LinkedIn ads campaign, you'll get an extra $250 credit from me for the next one. That's linkedin.com/diary. Terms and conditions apply. Just give me fifteen seconds to explain how you can build a viable business online. The people I see winning in life don't have a perfect plan.

他们只是迈出第一步，接着第二步，然后持续前进。他们保持专注与坚持。StandStor（我联合创办的赞助平台）是将知识变现的最佳起点。只需几分钟就能零技术门槛启动业务，在线销售数字产品、教练服务、会员订阅或社群。数千创业者用Stan掌控未来，因为它专为愿意拼搏的创业者打造。

They just take the first step and then the next, and then they keep going. They stay obsessed and they stay consistent. And StandStor, a platform I co own and one of our sponsors, is the best first step to help turn your knowledge into income. It only takes a couple of minutes to launch your business and start selling digital products, coaching, memberships, or communities online without any tech headaches or endless setup. Thousands of entrepreneurs, creators, and risk takers use Stan to take control of their future because Stan is for entrepreneurs, for those willing to put in the work and bet on themselves.

如果你准备开始创业，欢迎加入我们。立即通过stephenbartlett.stan.store开启14天免费试用。对了...观众还应该了解什么？你总是以观众为中心，还有什么能直接改善他们生活的建议？

If you're ready to start building, join us. Launch your business today with a free fourteen day trial at stephenbartlett.stan.store. And what else what else should should we should my audience know about? You're someone that focuses on the audience. What else should they know about that you think can directly improve their life?

我已经分享了很多我认为的成功核心要素：克服被拒恐惧、善用笔记技巧、以他人为中心。另外用故事包装观点非常重要——为什么是故事？因为故事会被记住，它已编织进我们的基因。

I mean, I've given you a lot of, like, the core tenants that I think have made me successful, which is eliminating that fear of rejection, utilizing notes, making it about other people. I think I think wrapping things up in a story is a huge one that we touched upon lightly. But that Why why a story? Because stories are remembered. Stories are interwoven into our DNA.

每个人都有故事可讲。关键是要明确什么让你令人难忘。你留给别人的印象越深刻，人们就越会谈论你，这对任何事业都有益。每次见面时都要意识到：你正在编织对方对你的记忆和评价。

Each of us have a story to tell. I think such a big one is deciding what makes you memorable. The more that you can become memorable to others, the more people talk about you, it benefits you no matter what you do in life. When you meet somebody, know that you're going to weave the narrative of what they leave, what they think of you. Right?

人的记忆是可塑的。我青少年时常玩一个纸牌魔术：让对方选牌签名后放回牌堆...

You have to kind of their memory is malleable. There's a trick I used to do when I was a teenager where I would have somebody pick a card. It was a card trick. They would put the card back in. They would sign it.

我会把牌扔向天花板。整副牌会掉下来，但他们签名的牌却粘在天花板上。但当他们向别人描述这个过程时，总会漏掉我扔牌的部分。为什么他们会忘记这么重要的细节？我始终无法理解。

I would throw it on the ceiling. The deck would fall down, but their signed card stayed stuck on the ceiling. But when they described the procedure back to someone else, they would leave out the part with me throwing the deck. Why did they forget such an important detail? And I couldn't understand why.

不是他们的记忆出了问题，而是发生了某种认知偏差。我终于明白了——我的注意力焦点就是他们的注意力焦点。就像生活中所有事情一样，如果你专注于负面，就会开始感到消极。当我扔牌时，有时自己也不会抬头看。

It's not that their memory was faulty, something happened. I realized what it was. What I put my attention on, they put their attention on. Like everything in life, if you're focused on the negative, you start to feel negative. I, when I threw the deck up, sometimes wouldn't look up with it.

我把牌抛向空中，自己不看，然后接住它。如此微小的细节。但正是这个动作让我接住了牌，没人知道发生了什么，我让他们自己抬头发现那张牌。不知为何，他们大脑自动删除了我扔牌的细节。于是奇迹就这样诞生了。

I would throw the deck up, I wouldn't look, and then I'd catch it. Such a small minute detail. But me doing that meant I caught the deck, no one knew what happened, and I let them look up and discover the card themselves rather than me do it. Somehow in their brain, they deleted that one detail of me throwing the deck. And now I had a miracle.

这从此改变了我的思维方式，我告诉自己：重要的不是我做了什么，而是人们记住了什么以及他们向他人讲述的故事。

And that changed my way of thinking from there on out, which I said to myself, it doesn't matter what I do, it matters what people remember and what's the story they tell others.

我从中学到的是：你的注意力焦点会引导他人的注意力。所以在生活中，我必须确保自己的注意力集中在正确的地方——我想让你关注的地方。作为播客主持人时我特别注意到这点，因为要管理整个对话，面前有笔记、钢笔、书籍、道具，还有装着照片和其他零碎物品的小网兜。

The thing I really learned from that is that your focus is driving someone else's focus. So when I'm, you know, when I'm going through my life, I need to make sure my focus is in the right place, the place that I want you to it to be. And I noticed that sometimes as a podcaster because obviously so I'm trying to manage this conversation and I've got these notes written in front of me. I've got pens, books, props. I've got a little net under front of me that has photos in it and other bits and pieces and all this stuff.