Enormocast 323：科尔·布劳尔——每日与海

我在那儿多待了一年，本来打算留在夏威夷，但发现一旦不再上学，根本负担不起那里的生活，而我之前靠的是夏威夷大学的奖学金。

I stayed there for an extra year, thought I was going to live in Hawaii, realized I couldn't afford to live in Hawaii when I wasn't, like, going to school, and I had a scholarship at the University of Hawaii.

所以我搬回了缅因州。

So I I moved back to Maine

我父母住那儿，不好意思。

where my parents Sorry.

那笔奖学金是给什么的？

What was the scholarship for?

就是学术方面的。

Just academics.

哦，原来如此。

Oh, okay.

挺好的。

Cool.

他们没那

They didn't That's

不错的窗户。

a good window.

总之，你你……

Anyway, you you

你可以走了。

can go.

对。

Yeah.

等那一切结束之后，突然就意识到，夏威夷的工作其实赚不了多少钱，根本不够付房租和买食物。

So when that was all done and, like, all of a sudden, you're like, oh, I I actually have to, you know like, the jobs out in Hawaii, I couldn't really make that that good of money and not enough to pay for rent and rent in Hawaii and food in Hawaii.

夏威夷什么东西都贵，毕竟风景太美了，又是旅游胜地。

Hawaii is just like a premium of everything because it's so beautiful and it's a touristy place.

我搬回了缅因州，跟父母住在一起，心想：我得赶紧离开这儿。

I moved back to Maine, moved back in with my parents, and was like, okay, I need to get out of here.

我得想办法脱身。

Like, I need to figure out a way.

于是我找了一份在当地游艇俱乐部教孩子学帆船的工作，这简直太搞笑了，因为我这辈子连Opti帆船都没坐过。

And so I I took up a job at, like, the local yacht club teaching kids how to sail, which is hilarious because I had never even been in an Opti in my life.

结果我现在居然在教孩子们开Opti，直到今天我总共也就坐过一次Opti。你们的粉丝可能不知道Opti是什么，但我还是求你们去搜一下。

And now I was teaching kids how to, like, sail an Opti, which I still to this day have only been in Opti once, which your your fans probably won't know what an Opti is, but I I I begged them to look it up.

想想那画面，真是荒唐极了。

It's ridiculous, like, looking.

这船肯定不是那种高性能的船型。

It's definitely not your high performance type of boat.

不过抱歉，我跑题了。

But sorry.

这就像是第一次穿着登山靴去攀岩一样。

It's it's the, like, top roping in your hiking boots for the first time kind of thing.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

是的

Yeah.

对

Yeah.

没错

Exactly.

靠这个几乎没法用的小玩意儿，居然还真让我上手了。

Good at this by giving you this little thing that hardly works.

扔点小线索过来。

A little bread crumb here.

是的

Yeah.

那年夏天有几场比赛，我一去就开始向别人问这问那。

It's and so there was a couple races that summer that I'd, like, come in, and they I mostly just started asking questions to people.

后来我在游艇俱乐部慢慢认识了人，也逐渐结识了缅因州当地的一些朋友。

And I started to I started to see people at, like, the yacht club, and I I started to meet people in the community in Maine.

我就一直不停地在到处说。

And and I I just put it out there constantly.

我真的需要一份工作。

Like, I I need a job.

我需要一份工作。

I need a job.

我后来认识了一位船长，他有一艘85英尺长的漂亮赛艇，特别棒的游艇。

And and I found this captain of this, like, 85 foot beautiful racer cruiser boat, like, just super nice yacht.

我当时就想，哎，真希望能去你那儿工作。

And I was like, oh, like, I would love to just come work for you.

他几乎直接回绝了我。

And he pretty much was like, no.

他明确说，绝对不行。

He was like, absolutely not.

那时候我才24岁。

I was 24.

我什么都不知道。

I didn't know anything.

他说行。

And he was like, yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

不可能。

No way.

但我找到了他的电话号码，因为我有点执着。

But I found his phone number because I'm a stalker.

我连续三周不停地给他发消息。

I I just kept texting him over and over again for, like, three weeks straight.

我说求求你，我什么都能做。

And I was like, please, like, I'll do anything.

我能挤进很小的空间。

I fit into tiny spaces.

我什么都能打扫干净。

I'll I'll clean anything.

不管多脏多糟心，我都不在乎。

I don't care about, like, how dirty it is or how miserable it is.

随时叫我，我都能马上起床。

Like, I'll wake up anytime.

最后他答应了，因为他就是需要个人来清理船底，那地方又脏又油，简直没法看。

And finally, he said yes because he just needed someone to come and, like, clean the bilges of the boat, which was, like, disgusting and oily and gross.

我就去了，开始干活。

And and so I came and I worked.

后来我就一直给他做事，接了各种不同的活儿。

Eventually, I just kept working for him and taking all these different jobs with him.

他慢慢带我入门，成了我的导师。

And he kinda took me under his wing, and he was my mentor.

我最近刚在BBIs见过他。

I actually just saw him in the BBIs recently.

说来好笑。

Hilariously.

我真的特别希望他能加入我现在所在的团队，这挺讽刺的，因为他教了我所有关于赛车、机械、电路和液压方面的知识。

I'm I really want him to come on to my now my team, which is really funny that, like, he had taught me everything that I know about the racing world and about, like, mechanics and, like, the electrical side and the hydraulic side.

现在呢，我反而想把他重新招回我的团队。

And now, like, I wanna hire him back, like, onto, like, my team.

所以我后来接了各种活儿，他给我提过特别好的建议，说尽可能多跑里程，这其实就跟出去多攀爬是一个道理。

So, yeah, I just grabbed on all these gigs, and he gave me really good advice where he was like, do as many miles as you possibly can, which is probably the same thing as, like, go out and just climb.

不管是不是比赛，有没有人看，都没关系。

It doesn't matter if it's a race or anyone's there to watch you.

真的没关系。

It doesn't matter.

只要上船，不管怎样，先开出去再说。

Just, like, get on the water and just go, like, no matter what.

所以我后来不管什么活儿都接，只要能上船，我就天天开船。

And so I just started doing whatever it took to get on the water, and I sailed everything all the time.

不管是什么船，我都无所谓。

It didn't matter what kind of boat it was.

我感觉自己完全活过来了——每次跑完一个活儿，不管是搬船还是别的，我立马又赶火车、搭公交，去下一个活儿，周而复始。

And I just felt like alive, like absolutely completely alive, where I'd finish I'd finish a gig sailing, like I'd move a boat or something, and then I'd be back onto the train or bus or whatever to go to the next gig and do it all over again.

我慢慢积累了大量经验，也认识了很多人。

And I just developed all these miles and I met all these people.

后来我就在想，有没有什么别人从来没做过的事？

And eventually, I had made this idea of like, okay, what is something that no one's done before?

我一直想加入各种赛队，但没人愿意要我。

Because I kept on trying to get on all these race teams and no one would hire me.

他们不收我，就因为我个子小、年纪轻，还是个女人。

No one would bring me on the team because I was small, young, and a woman.

所以我只能自己摸索别的路子。

And so I had to figure out, like, different pathways.

一般人走的路子通常是：大学毕业，找份职业水手的工作，然后一步步上更大的船。

Where normally the pathway for most people is, like, you leave college, you get a gig working as a pro sailor, and then you get on bigger and bigger and better boats.

所以我不得不绕个大弯，才走到别人顺顺利利就能走的那条路上。

And I had kind of had to do this kind of zigzag to get to the same exact pathway.

当我终于告诉妈妈我想做什么的时候，她特别难过。

And I knew like, my mom was so upset with me when I when I finally told her, I was like, this is what I want to do.

我想环球航行，成为第一个独自驾船环游世界的美国女性。

I want to race around the planet, and I want to be the first American woman to race solo around the globe.

她问我，你为什么非得这么做？

And my mom was like, well, why do you have to do that?

你干嘛不就继续当船长呢？

Like, why can't you just keep being the boat captain?

我已经有执照了。

I had my license.

她觉得，你为什么不能就当个船长，偶尔接点小活儿就行了？

She was like, why can't you just be a boat captain and do the little gigs here and there?

可我挣的钱还不到同龄男性同行的一半，而我们干的活儿一模一样。

And I was like, I'm getting paid less than half of what the guys in the exact same position are getting paid, who are my age.

一切都没变。

Everything is exactly the same.

我的航行里程比他们大多数人都多，可他们还是拿得比我多。

I have more miles than most of them, and they will still get paid more.

我必须做点完全超出常规的事，才能在航海圈里引起一点注意，至少让别人认真对待我的名字。

I, like, have to do something totally out of this realm to even just make a blip into this sailing world just so that I can at least, like, stamp my name to be taken seriously.

这不只是为了我，我还认识很多从事这项运动的女性职业选手，她们因为太疲惫了——拼死拼活干，却拿那么少的报酬，还要经历那么多困难，最后都离开了。

And not just for me, but I had developed a lot of friends, like pro women who were in the sport, who were leaving the sport because they were so burnt out of going working so hard to be in it and then getting paid so much less and having to struggle so much more.

我们好几个人都住在房车里。

There was a bunch of us that lived in our vans.

我们看着那些男选手，戴着名牌太阳镜，大摇大摆地走过来。

And we look around at all these guys, and they're they're wearing, like, designer sunglasses, and they're walking up.

你知道，他们和我们同船，却拿的钱多得多。

And, you know, you know they're getting paid so much money to be on the same boat.

真让人无奈。

Ugh.

你就看着他们，心里琢磨：我们到底哪里做错了？

And you're just you're watching them going, like, what are we doing wrong?

所以有一阵子，因为那个计划已经搁置好多年了，差不多五年了，我一直在这行里打拼。

And so I kind of, at one point, because it'd been so many years since I'd made that plan, it'd been like five years and I was working in the industry.

我几乎都要放弃了吧。

I'd almost kind of given up a little bit.

我当时在的那艘船，桅杆断了，这简直是个噩耗。

I had like The boat I was working on had lost its mast, which was devastating.

这意味着我这一年剩下的时间都失业了。

So that meant I lost my job for the rest of the year.

那可是整整十六场比赛啊。

That's like 16 events.

这等于你一整年的收入全没了。

So that's, that's your whole year of like pay everything.

一旦失去这个机会，想再回到队伍里就很难了，因为人家提前半年就定好人了。

And once, once you lose that, you know, it's hard to get back onto teams because they plan like six months in advance.

所以我当时就想，算了，随它去吧。

And so I was like, Oh, well, that's, you know, whatever.

后来我在船上干活，有几个人从码头走过来，说：‘嘿，要不要一起吃个饭？’

And then I was like working on a boat and these guys walked down the dock and they're like, Oh, would you want to come out to dinner?

我们每天都看见你在这儿干活。

You know, we see you working here every day.

那是四月份的劳德代尔堡。

It was Fort Lauderdale in like April.

天气又热又闷。

It was really hot and muggy.

我当时就想，哦，行吧。

And I was like, oh, okay.

挺好。

Great.

白吃一顿。

Free meal.

当然想去。

Would love to.

你懂的。

You know?

我知道他们停船的地方就在那条码头上。

And I knew that they had a boat down the dock.

所以我感觉他们也不是那种特别怪异的人。

And so I knew that they weren't like totally creepy or whatever.

我当时就想，行吧，无所谓了。

I was kind of like, alright, whatever.

于是我就跟他们、他们的女友，还有几乎他们所有的朋友一起去吃晚饭。

So I got to dinner with, like, them and their girlfriends and, like, like, pretty much all their friends.

我们喝着酒，聊着天，玩得特别开心。

And we were having drinks and things is really it's like we're having a great time.

然后他们开始发龙舌兰酒的小杯。

And then they're passing out, like, tequila shots.

到那时候我才意识到，我已经不是大学生了，毕竟我喝了好几杯龙舌兰酒。

And at this point, like, I realized that, like, oh, I'm not in college anymore because I, like, had a couple tequila shots.

然后我出去吐在灌木丛里，回来后简直不敢相信自己干了这种事。

And then I went outside and I vomited in the bushes and, like, came back in and was like, oh my god.

我可不能在这些好心请我吃饭、还带着全家朋友的男生面前丢脸。

I can't look like a wuss in front of these, you know, nice nice guys who are, you know, paying for my dinner tonight with, like, all their family and their friends.

于是我就走了。

And and then so I left.

但当时我有点醉了，跟他们说了自己的梦想。

But what I had done when I was kind of a little tipsy, I had told them what my dream was.

我说，我想成为第一个驾帆船环球航行的美国女性。

And I said, I want to be the first American woman to race soul around the globe.

我当时根本没当回事。

And I didn't think anything of it.

结果一周后他们给我打了电话，说：‘对，我们记得。’

And then they called me about a week later and they were like, oh, yeah.

我们特别喜欢你的梦想。

We love your dream.

我当时就说，好吧。

And I was like, okay.

挺好的。

Cool.

他们说，想帮你实现这个梦想。

They're like, we wanna make it happen.

我当时就说，什么？

And I was like, what?

对啊。

Yeah.

这事儿太离谱了。

It's like so weird.

真的太离谱了。

So weird.

我当时就说不行。

And I was like, no.

你根本不行。

Like, you're no.

所以我才拒绝，我觉得他们有点奇怪。

So I say no because I think they're being weird.

你懂的。

You know?

我就说对啊。

I'm like yeah.

没人会把停車場里那只流浪小猫，直接给个金门票吧。

Like, nobody gives the homeless kitten, you know, in the parking lot, like, a golden ticket.

在灌木丛里。

In the bushes.

他们根本不知道。

They didn't know.

我觉得

I don't think

他们

they

到今天为止，他们还是不明白。

said I think to this day, they still don't know.

我藏起来了。

I hid that one.

我当时想，我可不能让他们觉得我胆小。

I was like, oh, I'm not gonna show them that I'm a wuss.

他们还经营着几家酒类公司，所以我心想，他们喝酒肯定很在行。

And they they own a couple alcohol companies, so I was like, they can they can hold on to their liquor well.

没错。

Right.

我当时就在想，我真的搞不懂这到底意味着什么。

And so I was, and I was like, oh, that I don't really understand what this all means.

所以我跟他们说不行。

And so I said, no.

后来他们的代表开始给我发邮件，还是说不行。

And then, like, their representative started emailing me being like, no.

他们真的特别感兴趣，对这个提案挺上心的。

They, like, really like, they're they're into this they're they're into the pitch.

他们真的很想做。

They're into it.

我当时就想，首先，这根本不是什么提案。

And I was like, well, for one, it wasn't a pitch.

我从不因为赞助的事去向人要钱。

I don't like I don't like asking for money for any of my sponsorships.

所以那段时间，我连续好几个月一直在拒绝。

And so it was kind of the super weird situation where I just kept saying no for, like, a couple months.

最后，我勉强同意帮他们参加一场比赛。

And then eventually, I agreed to do, like, one race on this boat.

于是我出去参加了这场双人赛。

And so I I went out, and it was a double handed race.

他们说：‘哦，当然可以。’

And I said they were like, oh, yeah.

你可以带任何人一起去。

You can bring whoever you want.

于是我带了另一位女性同行。

And so I brought another woman with me.

我们出海比赛，结果赢了。

And we went out and we won.

那些男生都说：‘这太酷了。’

And the guys were like, oh, that's so cool.

他们接着问：‘要不咱们再比一场？’

Like, would you let's do another one.

于是我们又比了一场，结果又赢了。

And so we did another one, and then we won again.

还有另一场从纽波特到百慕大的比赛。

And there was another race that was gonna go from Newport to Bermuda.

我当时就想，等等。

And I was like, wait.

这可是个难得的机会。

This is, like, this is a moment.

我们绝对得试试看。

Like, we should definitely try to do this.

这场比赛分成两个赛段。

And so it's a two division race.

你得一个人先航行一段。

So you you go down solo.

我会一个人先航行六百英里，然后我和凯特——我一起参赛的那位女生——再一起返航。

So I would go alone for 600 miles, and then we would then sail back together, me and Kat, a girl I was sailing with.

所以我们真的参加了这场比赛，我赢了单人航段。

And so, yeah, we did we did that race, and I won the the solo division down.

然后我们一起返航，赢得了双人组的冠军。

And then we sailed back, and we won the double handed division back.

对。

Yes.

那感觉真的就是，特别

And it was just, like, so

简直像电影一样。

It was like a movie.

就像一部电影。

It movie.

因为当时那种氛围

It was like because

你说到你当时说‘不’的时候，我都紧张起来了。

I'm getting all tense when you were saying that you were saying no.

就算我知道结果，还是忍不住紧张。

Even though I know the outcome, I'm, like, getting all tense.

你别总说‘不’，科尔。

I'm like, stop saying no, Cole.

别说了。

Stop.

当你一直被压着、被贬低的时候，脑子里会冒出好多想法。

Well, it's like, there's so many things, like, in your mind when you've been, like, you've had your face shoved down so much.

是啊。

Yeah.

你总是觉得自己不够好。

And you you just always think you're not good enough.

是啊。

Yeah.

我在这一行待了挺久的。

Like, and I'd been in the industry for a while.

我一直在赛车圈里，但总是排第二。

I'd been in the racing world, but I'd always been, like, second.

我总是那个别人拿奖杯的时候，轮不到我的人。

I'd always been, like, the one where they're like, the other guys get the trophies.

就算我在船上，那些人还是拿走了奖杯。

Even if I was on the boat, those other guys get the trophies.

我就一直埋头做事，听别人聊天，做笔记，继续干自己的事。

Like, I I'll just keep on working, and I'll keep I'll listen to the conversations, and I'll take notes, and I'll keep doing my thing.

但我一直都在和别人较劲，拼得特别狠。

But I was always racing, like, fully crude with other people.

对。

Mhmm.

后来有那么一刻，我心想，我其实完全可以一个人干。

And then there was a moment where I was like, I think I could really do this alone.

我感觉自己已经有足够的信心，可以独立闯出一片天地了。

Like, I feel confident enough I could actually just branch away.

百慕大那次更是个特别重要的时刻，简直像所有压力一下子爆发，天啊，真的太震撼了。

And the Bermuda one too was such a really amazing moment because it was, like, just this crescendo of, like, holy crap.

这事儿居然真能成。

Like, this is actually possible.

我对那艘船特别熟。

And I knew the boat really well.

我在这艘船上划了五年，但都是和别人一起。

I had been sailing on that boat for, like, five years, but with other people.

现在这船由我全权负责，一切进展得特别顺利。

And so I was actually now in charge of this thing, and it was going really well.

当时很多人说，这不过是运气好。

And I was like you know, so many people were like, oh, it's a fluke.

就是运气好。

It's a fluke.

后来我们双人赛赢了那么多，差距这么大，根本不可能是运气了。

And then we won the double handed back by, like, so far, so much that it didn't all of a sudden, it wasn't a fluke.

我们去领奖的时候，大家都觉得我是个怪人。

And so we went to the awards ceremony, and I'm like the crazy one.

我去领奖典礼时穿了一件婚纱，当时我觉得这样也挺好的。

I wore a wedding dress to the awards ceremony, which is like I thought it was like, okay.

这是我的最后一场比赛。

This is my last race.

我心满意足了。

I'm good.

我把船还回去。

Like, I give the boat back.

赞助也结束了。

Sponsorship is done.

之后我就回归正常生活，继续和那些家伙一起工作，过普通日子吧。

And then I'll, you know, I'll go back to my regular life of, you know, working with these other dudes and, you know, whatever.

领奖典礼后，赞助商联系了我，说想让我再比一场。

And the sponsors contacted me after that award ceremony, and they're like, we want we want you to do one more race.

我当时就说，哦，行吧。

And I was like, oh, okay.

好吧。

Okay.

有没有那种便宜一点，但他们还是愿意支持的比赛？

What is, like, a cheaper race that they would still agree to?

我正在考虑这件事。

You know, I'm, like, thinking about it.

我的船员凯特，就是和我一起赢下这么多比赛的那个人，说十月会有一场比赛。

And Kat, my my crew who we'd won all these races with was like, there's this race that's going to happen in October.

那时候已经是七月了。

And at this point, it was July.

她说有一场比赛，是环球航行赛。

And she was like, there's a race, and it's a race around the world.

First Light 这艘船本来就已经为远洋赛做好了准备。

And, like, you know, First Light's already kind of set up, you know, for offshore.

不过要让它适合环球航行，还得再做些调整。

You know, you'd have to do a little bit more to make her for around the world worthy.

但你了解这艘船，又碰上这么一场赛事，还有人愿意赞助，

But you know that boat and you've got this race coming up and these guys want to sponsor it.

那你干嘛不干脆直接把方案推给他们呢？

Like, why don't you just jump the jump off the cliff and just offer it to, you know, these sponsors?

于是我就这么做了。

And so I did.

我把这两场赛事都提了出来。

I offered the two races.

我先提了TJV，就是横跨大西洋的那场，费用低一些；然后又提了环球航行那场。

I offered the TJV, which is a transatlantic race, which would have been cheaper, And then I offered the around the world race.

结果这两场赛事那年，2023年，居然正好同一天开始。

And both of them started the exact same day, like, that year in 2023.

我在七月就打电话跟他们沟通，把两个方案都介绍了一遍。

And I got on the phone with them that July, and I had pitched both.

我还把两场赛事的详细预算都发给了他们，尽我所能做到了全面清晰。

I had sent out both the budgets of how much everything was gonna cost and for the best of my abilities.

然后FK给我回了电话。

And FK calls me back.

他是主要的赞助方负责人。

He's like the main sponsor guy.

他说，我看你们报了这两场赛事。

He's like, so I see these two races here.

他问，你觉得哪一场你们能赢？

He's like, so which one can you win?

我说，我们船比较旧，参加TJV会很吃力，因为现在参赛的都是新船。

I was like, well, we have an older boat, so the TJV would be really hard because, like, the newer boats are going in for the TJV.

以我们船的条件，最好的情况也就是在中游组别完赛。

Like, we would probably get, like, a mid fleet, like, best case mid fleet finish in that race because of just the boat that we have.

他又问，那环球赛你们有希望赢吗？

And he was like, could you win the around the world race?

我知道，参加环球赛的船型和我们的‘First Light’是同一代的。

And I knew that the vintage of boats that were going around were the same vintage as First Light.

我当时就说，没错。

And I was like, yeah.

我觉得我们赢这场赛艇的机会大得多。

Like, I I think that we would have a much better chance of winning that race.

他当时就说，要么干大的，要么干脆别干。

And he said that moment, let's go big or go home.

经费全开。

The purse is open.

你要什么就拿什么。

Whatever you need.

我当时就说，我们准备

And I was we're like

这太棒了。

This is amazing.

我就在想，这

I'm, like, just

我在这儿笑得合不拢嘴。

grinning over here.

这也太棒了。

This is so sick.

那简直是我这辈子经历过的最疯狂的事。

It was, like, the most insane thing I'd ever been through in my whole life.

而且那会儿是七月。

And it was July.

比赛是在十月开始的。

The race started in October.

这种环球赛，人们通常要准备两到五年。

And these around the world races, people prep, like, two to five years for.

这可不是随便就能准备好的事。

Like, it's it's not an easy thing to prep for.

于是我坐在我的房车里。

And so I was sitting in my van.

我当时正在工地干活，他们问我能不能来上班。

I was at a job site and they were like, can you come work?

我就说，等一下。

And I was like, hold on.

我的整个人生马上就要变了。

My whole life is about to change.

挂完电话后，我走出去，跟他们说：这个夏天我可能没法继续和你们一起干了。

We finished that phone call and I went outside and I was like, I don't think I can work with you guys for the rest of the summer.

他们问：为什么？

They were like, why?

我就说：因为我打算十月份环游世界。

And I was like, because I think I think I'm going around the planet in October.

于是我在长岛做完那份工作后，就回了纽波特。

So I finished that job on Long Island and I I went back to Newport.

我找到了那艘船，然后给每一个前任都打了电话。

I got the boat, and I called every one of my girlfriends, every single one.

我就问他们：你们想不想找工作？

And I was like, you guys want a job?

我所有的朋友都辞职了。

They they like, all of my friends quit their jobs.

看到他们这些年一直盯着我，看我每次回家都沮丧得不行，真的让我很感动。

All of Like, was incredible to see the like, how much they had watched, like, for years and years and years of me just, like, coming home and just feeling, like, so devastated.

那段时间我靠借住朋友的沙发过日子，拼命推动一件连我自己都觉得不存在的事，结果它真的成了。

And I was living on all of their couches and pushing for this thing that felt like it didn't even exist, and now it was there.

所以，我们把整个团队凑齐了。

And, yeah, so we, I mean, we we got the whole team together.

我招的人几乎都是我的朋友。

I hired pretty much everyone was my friends.

只有一名男子是赞助我的那对兄弟想推荐的，现在他就像我的第二位父亲。

There was only one guy that the that the brothers who sponsored me wanted to have on, and now he's like my second dad.

他是个特别棒的船舶电工，还是他提议把摄像头装上船的。

Like, he he was an amazing marine electrician, and it was actually it was his idea to put the cameras on board.

他说：‘我可以在亚马逊上买到超便宜的摄像头。’

He was like, oh, I can get these super cheap cameras off of Amazon.

咱们应该把整个过程拍下来。

We should film this whole thing.

这事以前没人干过，结果成了一个巨大的突破。

It's never been done before, which ended up being a huge Brilliant.

太棒了。

Class.

没错。

Yeah.

我们真的把Starlink设备装上了船。

It was absolutely I mean, we put Starlink on board.

我们是第一艘成功环球航行并全程使用Starlink的帆船。

We're the first sailboat to ever go around the planet successfully with Starlink.

当时很多人质疑，说这技术太新了。

And I had gotten a lot of flack for like, oh, this is a new technology.

这真的挺吓人的。

That's really scary.

你居然要让一个29岁的女孩独自在大洋中间，用还没经过验证的技术航行。

You're gonna send, you know, this this 29 year old girl out in the middle of the ocean with technology that's not tested.

我当时就想，没错，但确实还没哪个美国女性环游过世界呢。

And and I was kinda like, well, yeah, but American woman has never raced around the planet.

所以那也是没试过的。

So that's kind of untested also.

我们其实是在全面尝试各种新东西。

So we're we're kind of we're trying out everything.

结果呢，就像你看到的，这段经历特别棒，但最打动人的，其实是整个团队凝聚在一起的感觉。

And it ended up being, you know, as you saw, this amazing experience, but the best part about the whole experience really was, like, the team kind of coming together.

我所有的朋友以前都习惯了当第二名，但这次，他们第一次真正体会到了站在顶尖是什么感觉。

And all of my friends had always known what it felt like to be in second place, And it was like for the first time, they kinda could feel what it felt like to be like the top.

真正的竞争者。

Contenders.

是的。

Yeah.

那我们就开始吧。

So, let's get to it.

我的理解是，你有个关键的时刻，只有三到四个月的时间来完成。

I mean, it sounds like to me there's this like moment and you have three or four months to deliver.

你肯定忙得团团转。

You're probably just scrambling.

你有考虑过心理训练这部分吗？

Are you actually thinking about the sort of mental training part of it?

你真的就带着现在脑子里的东西出海吗？

Are you just gonna leave shore with what you've got on board in terms of your head?

你明白我的意思吧？

Do you know what I mean?

对，就是这样。

Like like Yeah.

没有。

No.

明白。

Know.

你要一个人出海，我多次提到，我们日常生活中根本不会独处，要独自待上三天、甚至一周，简直难上加难。

You're gonna go out here solo and I've pointed out so many times that like most people do not spend time alone in our daily It's very difficult to spend three days alone, a week alone.

你得特意安排，才能做到这一点。

Like you have to go way out of your way to do it.

你知道吗？外展训练组织就看重这个，他们会逼着孩子们独自过一夜，对吧？

You know, Outward Bound sees this value in it and they force kids to go spend a night alone, right?

这可能是一次特别的经历，也可能是一场灾难。

And it can be this, you know, amazing thing or this devastating thing.

你当时是想着‘我一个人在外面会怎么样’，还是只是忙着赶工把船准备好，打算事后再说？

So was it a thought like what what's gonna happen to me out there or or were you just, like, racing to get the boat ready and done and then you were gonna deal with it later?

是的。

Yeah.

这是个非常好的问题。

It's a it's a great question.

我觉得在一些小众运动里，比如攀岩和航海，你得花不少时间独处，这时候你必须学会以一种完全不同的方式去爱自己，不是那种表面的爱。

And I think a lot of people, when you're in like niche sports, especially climbing and sailing, where you do spend some time alone, you have to learn how to really love yourself in a very different way than just like superficially.

你得真正去爱自己的内心，发现它独特的美，同时也要明白，黑暗的一面永远都会存在。

You have to really love your own mind and find it beautiful in its own way and understand that there's a dark side that's always gonna be there.

只要你意识到它在那儿，就能巧妙地利用它。

And if you know it's there, you can kind of use it to your advantage.

如果你试图压抑那种黑暗——我们每个人心里都有这么一个可怕的角落，这可能正是我们做这些事的原因，也是为什么有人会投身极限运动。

And if you try to push that dark, you know, demonic side that we all have, we all have this really, like, scary side of ourselves, and that's probably why we do the things that we do and why people get into adventure sports.

因为这些活动能平息内心的恶魔，而我并不害怕那一面。

It's because it it quiets that demon side, and I think that I wasn't afraid of that side.

其实我从小就有过一些不太好的经历。

Like, I had already when I was a kid, I had some things that weren't so great that happened to me.

到了大学，我又开始接触酒精和毒品之类的东西。

And then when I got to college, I also had gotten into some alcohol and drugs and stuff.

这真的把那个阴暗面推到了最前面。

And, you know, that really brings in it kind of brings that that that dark side to the forefront.

所以我早就体会过与某种黑暗抗争的感觉。

And so I had already known what it felt like to be battling some form of darkness.

在整个职业生涯中，总有人告诉你不行，说你因为这样或那样做不到，甚至因为你与生俱来的某些东西，就断定你永远不可能成功。

And then as you're going through your whole professional career, you have people that are telling you no, people telling you that you can't do it because of this or that, and things that you're born with that, oh, no, you can never do this because of something you can't control.

于是你整个职业生涯都在和这种阴暗面搏斗，而当你真正置身大洋中央时，反而是唯一一个能安静下来、让那股黑暗完全掌控你的时刻。

And so you spend your whole professional career battling that dark side that when you're finally actually out in the middle of the ocean, it's the only time it's actually kind of quiet where that that dark side is very in control.

不像走在街上时，脑子里还想着：我该去哪儿？

And versus like when you're walking down the street and you're thinking about, oh, where where do I need to go?

或者：我得回这封邮件、得做那件事、得赶时间……你一整天都在跟这些念头较劲。

Or, oh, I got to write this email or I got to do this or I got to do that or I'm late to this or, you know, you're you're battling that the whole time.

可一旦出海，所有杂念都消失了，那种感觉简直太棒了。

And then you get offshore, and it's like everything just goes and it's the most amazing feeling.

所以出海对我来说有种特别的安心感，让我觉得真正安全。

And so there's kind of this comfort about going offshore that I I can feel safe.

其实，我在海上反而觉得更安全。

I'm actually feel much safer being offshore.

所以我觉得，心理上的斗争从来不是关于出海这件事。

So I think the mental battle was never about the offshore.

真正难的是在比赛前后，我能不能撑得住岸上的生活。

It was whether or not I could keep things together when I was onshore before and after the race.

做这么一件大事，最难的其实是赛前准备——人人都在问你问题，你得扛起整个团队，万一失败了，责任全在你身上。

And those are the the hardest parts of doing this this big of a monumental thing in your sport is the before, it's the prep, it's, you know, everyone's asking you questions, everyone you're the leader of this thing that could fail.

还有赛后，面对媒体和舆论，还得逼自己别总想着：‘我是不是没做到该做的事。’

And then the aftermath of that, of dealing with the publicity and things like that, and and telling trying to get yourself to stop telling yourself that you're, oh, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

真正出海这件事，我根本不需要练习。

And so the actual act, I didn't need any practice for.

我需要磨练的，是围绕它的那些外围部分。

What I needed was on the outskirts of it.

对。

Right.

那出发的时候是什么感觉？

So what was the feeling leaving?

你从哪儿出发的？

And where where did you leave from?

那场比赛你是从哪里启航的？

Where do you set sail from for that race?

我从西班牙的奥西鲁纳出发，就在西班牙西北角。

I left from Auciruna, Spain, which is on the Northwest Tip of Spain.

那是西班牙能出发的最偏远的地方了。

It's like the furthest spot you really can be on Spain to leave from.

那地方很美，但也很危险，特别狂野，因为大西洋的锋面系统过来，速度越积越快，然后跟北极系统连上，猛地拍在西班牙西北角上。

It's a beautiful spot, but it's also a super dangerous and and really kind of wild spot because the the frontal systems kind of come across the Atlantic and they build up speed and then they kind of attach themselves with the Arctic and then they and then they kinda slap onto, like, the Northwest Tip of Spain.

所以从那儿出发特别有意思，因为从 logistical 角度来说，离开和出海都挺方便的。

And so it's it's a it's a very interesting place to leave from because it's quite easy logistically to leave and get out.

你不用穿过直布罗陀海峡，那里洋流特别乱，直布罗陀就在葡萄牙和非洲之间。

You don't have to go through, like, Gibraltar, which is, like, the current's really bad and which Gibraltar is between Portugal and and Africa.

从那儿出发确实挺危险的。

And that's kind of, like, a really dangerous spot to leave from.

但如果你在那么靠北的地方，从 logistics 上讲还算能接受。

But if you're kind of that northerly, logistically, it's okay.

出发时的天气可能糟透了。

The weather leaving can be horrendous.

糟透了。

Horrendous.

我遇到的就是糟透了。

I got horrendous.

我原计划10月28号出发，结果改到29号早上才走，因为当时风速高达60节，浪有五米高，而且还是顶风出海。

It was we I was supposed to leave on the twenty eighth, October 28, and I ended up leaving the morning of the twenty ninth instead because we were we were seeing, like, 60 knot gusts and, like, five meter waves, and it would have been upwind to try to leave.

当地海岸警卫队干脆把码头给封了。

And so they like, their coast guard that's there actually shut down, like, the marina.

反正你也不让走。

You weren't allowed to leave anyway.

所以，就算我真有胆子想走，也得等天气好转、官方批准了才能出发。

So even if I had been crazy enough to want to leave, I I couldn't leave until the weather window, and the authorities had given us kind of the the go ahead.

但我其实一个月前就想着要走了。

But I wanted to leave, like, a month before then.

我已经准备好了。

I was ready.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我真的早就准备好了。

I was so ready.

那我们开始吧。

So let's get into it.

你一个人驾着船出海了。

So you go, out alone in this boat.

我们就这么办吧。

But let's just do this.

那这个怎么样？

How about this?

给我讲几个关键节点和低谷吧。

Like, give me some some strikes and gutters.

说说那几个重要的时刻吧，我总不能光听你讲吧。

Like, what were, like, a couple because I can't have you.

如果你能一五一十地把整个过程讲清楚，我们今天就耗在这儿了。

We'll be here for for the rest of the day if if you go blow by blow on this thing.

但你们真得读读我的书。

But Y'all have to read my book.

挑几个亮点说说。

A couple high points.

你的

Your

书？

book?

是的

Yeah.

我的书九月就要出版了，里面全是那些疯狂的事。

My book my book's coming out in September, and it has all the craziness.

我会做一下简要介绍。

But I'll I'll I'll do it I'll do a little synopsis.

我来做个概要。

I'll do a synopsis

好的。

Okay.

对。

Yeah.

你先说几个重点，然后我们再聊那些黑暗的时刻。

Just give us a couple of high points and then we'll get into like the dark moments.

你知道吗？那种黑暗的想法突然袭来，感觉一切都不可能了，特别吓人，因为我们还没怎么谈过恐惧。

You know, it felt the dark thoughts came in or it felt impossible, it felt really scary because we haven't talked about fear at all.

在茫茫大海上，害怕是难免的。

There has to be fear in the middle of the ocean.

我觉得这本来就是常态。

It's just part of the deal, I think.

那你是想从低点开始，还是高点？

So whether you wanna go low or high to start?

我们从低点开始吧。

We'll go low.

说来有趣，你刚才提到害怕这事。

So it's funny actually that you mentioned fear.

其实我并没有那种感觉，我知道听起来可能像我是个冷血的人，但我们早就习惯了。

I actually didn't have, I know this sounds like I'm a sociopath, but We're used to

在这档节目里，这种事见多了。

those on this show.

别放在心上。

Don't worry about it.

我相信你确实是。

I'm I'm sure I'm sure you are.

顺带问一下，那个纪录片《登山者》里的人是谁？

Who who was the guy side note, who was the guy from you know, the documentary The Alpinist?

对。

Mhmm.

就是他。

Who was Yeah.

马克·安德烈·莱克莱尔。

Marc Andre Leclerc.

没错。

Yes.

那部纪录片是我最爱的纪录片之一。

It's that's one of my favorite documentaries of all time.

对。

Mhmm.

每次看这部电影，我都会像孩子一样哭出来。

I cry like a child every single time I watch it.

我让所有朋友都去看这部电影。

I make all my friends watch it.

我其实有点感同身受，因为我看过《Free Solo》。

I actually kind of feel because I watched Free Solo.

我不是说那个片子不好，它确实是一部很棒的纪录片。

And don't get me wrong, that was that's a great documentary.

但我很难和那个主角产生共鸣。

I couldn't personify with him very much.

当然。

Sure.

后来我看了《登山者》。

And then I watched The Alpinist.

我当时就惊呆了。

And I was like, oh my god.

我就是这样的人。

That's me.

百分之百，当你全身心投入自己热爱的事情时，根本不会感到害怕。

Like, 110%, you don't feel fear when you're in the middle of doing something that you love.

你只是在做它。

You're just doing it.

你只是感觉自己完全融入其中。

You're just feeling you're just part of it.

你完全沉浸在正在做的事情里，其他任何杂念都进不来。

Like, you're so absolutely present in what you're doing that there's nothing else that floods in during it.

你不会想，今天到底吃啥？

It's not like you're all, what what am I gonna eat today?

也不会想，我该干嘛——你就是全神贯注在手头的事上，而很多人却总问我：你不害怕摔下去吗？

Or, you know, what am I gonna it's just Like, you're just so unbelievably focused with what you're doing, where so many people would give me so much crap about, like, well, aren't you afraid of, like, falling off?

而像自由攀登这种事，一旦失手，就是死路一条。

And, you know, with Solo, you fall off, you die.

没人会来救你。

Like, is no No one's coming to get you.

你的船会渐渐离你而去。

Like Your boat loses about you.

对吧？

Right?

是的。

Yeah.

对。

Yeah.

你会看着它

You'll watch that

远去。

boat leave.

就这样。

The way.

这确实不一样，但我从来没觉得这有什么好担心的。

It it's a different but it's not anything that I never thought about it.

我从来没想过要小心翼翼，生怕出错。

Like, I never once was like, oh, I need to watch my step.

我总是确保，每一步站稳了，再迈下一步。

I just always you make sure that when you plant your feet, you know that that foot is planted before that next step goes.

你得一直这样，确保每一步都稳当。

Like, you you always make sure.

就算跑得再快，你也会自然地控制节奏，给自己留出足够的空间和余地。

And even when you're moving quick, you're still always kind of running your steps and you have your your set amount of, like, variables that you give yourself in one time.

所以并不会让人觉得太有压力。

So it's not overly overwhelming.

哪怕出了点状况，也只会想：没事，继续，往前走，按步骤来。

Even when something like breaks, it's like, Okay, continue and move and go and do your steps.

我刚开始参加比赛时，很多朋友和家人都特别为我担心，甚至很害怕。

And so when I first got started in the race, I think a lot of my friends and family were very nervous for me and they were very scared.

我当时其实也挺正常的，会焦虑，会想：哎，那个地方要是做得再好一点就好了。

And I kind of was more like, yeah, you get anxiety like a normal human where you're like, Oh, like, I should have done that a little bit better.

我知道自己还能做得更好。

Like, I know I can do better on that.

头两天我食物中毒，整整吐了24小时，连胆汁都吐出来了。

Where I got food poisoning on the first two days, and I threw up for twenty four hours where I was, like, throwing up bile.

吃什么吐什么，根本存不住。

I couldn't keep food down.

接着又拉了整整24小时，身体里的东西两边往外跑，根本停不下来。

And then I, like, shat myself for another twenty four hours, because whatever was in my system was going out both directions trying to get through.

你在风力四五十节的海面上迎风航行，一个人狠狠地撞着浪花。

And so you're in, like, 40 to 50 knots of breeze going upwind, like slamming through these waves alone.

身体难受成这样，可你几乎什么都做不了。

You have this horrible thing going on in your body, and there's not much you can do about it.

可你还是得操舵换舷，得搬动那些设备，得挪动上千磅的重物，换舷之后再开几个小时，接着再搬一次重物，再换舷，还得确保每一步都做到位。

And you still have to, like, tack the boat and you still have to move the stack and you now you have to move a thousand pounds worth of gear and then tack and then go for a couple hours, move the thousand pounds of gear again and then tack again and make sure that you're doing it correctly.

那绝对是最低谷的时候。

That was definitely a low point.

而且那天还是万圣节。

And it was and it was Halloween.

我还记得得拍个万圣节的帖子，当时我一身装备都没脱。

And I remember having to do a a Halloween post, and I was, like, in my gear.

我的媒体经理莉迪亚，人特别好，她说：‘咱们该给你社交媒体发个万圣节内容。’

And my media manager, Lydia, who's amazing, she was like, we should do, like, a Halloween post for your social media.

那时候我就想，这主意真不怎么样。

And at this point, I was like, I don't think that's a good idea.

简直太糟了。

Like, this sucks.

我一点也不想上社交媒体。

I don't wanna be on, like, social media at all.

我感觉自己糟透了。

I feel like absolute crap.

她却说，可你现在有粉丝了啊。

And she was like, but, like, you have fans now.

很多人都特别喜欢你这个内容。

Like, people are really into this.

你真该发一发这个。

Like, you you should do this.

我当时为此闹得特别厉害，现在回想起来都觉得好笑，因为如今我可是深度参与社交媒体了。

And I I threw such a fit about it, which is so funny to think back because now I'm, like, involved in social media so much more now.

我发了那条动态，看起来简直像是被迫发的，特别不情愿。

And I I did this post and it looked like I hated that I was doing it.

就是那种，祝你他妈的万圣节快乐。

Like, it was me being like, well, happy fucking Halloween.

这是我的装饰品，我穿着海盗服，心里却恨不得揍自己。

Like, here are my decorations, and I'm dressed like a pirate and I I hate myself.

我对这件事简直 cynical 到了极点。

And I was just, like, so horrendously cynical about it.

但那些看完那条帖子的人，真的特别喜欢。

And but the the people that kinda came together and watched that post loved it.

他们喜欢，是因为那里面一点假都没有。

They loved it because there was no fakeness.

那就是我当时真实的心情，百分之百真实。

Like, it was 100% exactly how I was feeling at that moment.

我真的受够了装样子。

It was like, I'm so tired of tacking.

我巴不得赶紧停下来。

I cannot wait to stop tacking.

这事儿太蠢了。

This is so dumb.

我累坏了。

I'm so tired.

你懂的吧。

You know?

你就是

You're just

对啊。

like Mhmm.

你生气了。

You're like mad.

熬过去之后，整个人就像突然轻松了。

And then you get through, and it's like the whole world just like lifts off.

然后你看到一幅美丽的日出。

And you have this beautiful sunrise.

天气渐渐暖和起来。

It starts to warm up.

你可以把装备脱掉了。

You can take your gear off.

风从背后吹来，你就像在空中翱翔一样。

The the wind goes behind you, and now you're just like soaring along.

然后你就想，好吧。

And you're like, okay.

就像你终于从《指环王》那种深不见底的旅程里熬出来了，现在你真的到了目的地。

Like, I'm out of, like, the depths, like, in the Lord of the Rings where you've done the journey, and now you're now you're, like, you're there.

头三天简直糟糕透顶。

And that that was, like so the first, like, three days was pretty, like, horrendous.

然后——

And then

趁早把它解决了。

I mean, get it out of the way.

对吧？

Right?

不可能比这更糟了。

Like, gonna get worse of than this.

赶紧处理掉

Get it

就这么结束了。

the way.

然后你就到了那儿。

And then you were like and then you're there.

那是你一生中最棒的经历。

And it's the most amazing it's the most amazing experience of your whole life.

每一天都美好得不得了。

Every single day is so wonderful.

当然，刚开始的时候你难免会感到孤独。

And I I just you know, of course, you go through these loneliness in the beginning.

我觉得那就像一场净化，让你慢慢放下人与人之间的牵绊。

I say that it was like purging land where you're, like, letting go of humans.

出发前，我们团队每晚都会一起吃饭。

You're letting go where like, would have dinners with my team every night before we left.

后来那些聚餐就没了，你一个人了。

And then those dinners stopped, and now you're alone.

所以头两周，也就是十四天，我特别难过。

And so probably the first, like, two weeks, so fourteen days, I was really sad.

你就会感觉像是在清理一片荒地。

Like, you you feel like you're purging land.

你会突然莫名其妙地哭起来，自己都不明白为什么哭。

Like, you'll just find yourself crying, and you don't know why you're crying.

这并不是因为害怕。

And it's not because you're afraid.

而是因为你感觉，好像全家人都离你而去了。

It's because you you feel like you've you like like like your whole family has died.

就像你失去了整个家人一样。

Like, it feels like you've you've lost your entire family.

大概十四天后，你就慢慢走出来了，心里会说：好吧。

And after about fourteen days, you come out of it and you're like, okay.

我没事了。

Like, I'm okay.

我没事了。

I'm okay.

我正在从这种我们称之为孤独的状态中恢复过来。

I'm I'm recovering from this from this this what we call loneliness.

等这种感觉过去了，你就会看得更清楚。

And then once it's gone, you start to see much more clearly.

我觉得人类往往没有给自己足够的空间，去熬过这整整十四个日子。

And I think humans, we just don't give ourselves the grace to actually last that fourteen days.

一旦你熬过了这十四个日子，你就能突破任何障碍。

And once you last those fourteen days, I think you can you can run through walls.

你什么都能做到。

You can do anything.

我总是说，如果你要走这样的路，最好在离开医生办公室之前，就先开始你的孤独之旅。

I always say that if you're going to do, like, a journey like that, you should start you should start your loneliness journey before you leave the doc.

比如，在开始一段真正漫长的独处之前，提前一周别跟任何人说话。

Like, don't talk to anyone for, like, a week before you start, like, a really big solo stint.