泰迪·梅伦坎普（下集）：如何在挫折中调和生命的意义、凝聚力量并坚守希望！

接下来是与泰迪·梅伦坎普共同呈现的精彩第二部分节目。

Coming up in this incredible part two episode with Teddy Mellencamp.

我能说的是，我是否做过伤害他人的事？是的。直到今天，这仍让我心痛吗？我甚至怀疑这是否是我患癌的原因？是的。

What I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes. To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes.

就像这是我的报应。

Like it was my payback.

所以我想没有什么是无需付出代价的。这件事当时铺天盖地都是新闻。你试图减轻每个人的痛苦，结果却适得其反。我大概...大概明白我们的婚姻是如何运作的。

So nothing goes without payment, I guess. It was all over the press. It was everywhere. And, you know, you're trying to you're trying to minimize everybody's pain, you end up maximizing it. I kind of I kind of know how our marriage works.

你觉得这种情况能改变吗？

And do you think it could change?

如果我愿意改变的话有可能，但我觉得我已经不想改变了。

I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.

你这话是什么意思？你说你心怀怨恨，是因为他出轨了吗？

What do you mean? When you say too that you had resentment, he had cheated?

我觉得不一定是出轨行为本身。我不是说在那之后我的婚姻里没犯过大错。但那件事彻底击垮了我。我从未真正敞开心扉谈论过。对方站出来是因为金钱纠纷。

I think it wasn't necessarily the act. It was I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes my marriage post that. But that broke me. I never really opened up about it. A financial thing was why the person was coming forward.

这更让人心碎，因为我当时想：你竟然愿意为了钱——而且不是很多钱——这样伤害我的家庭？太恶心了。我不得不苦苦哀求埃德温留下。我不得不乞求他。我觉得那时他已经不爱我了。

And that was like even more heart wrenching because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money and not even a lot of it? Disgusting. And I had to had to had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. He I don't think he was in love with me at that point.

我们婚姻中有过深爱彼此的阶段，但那时绝对不是。我从未谈论过这些。你爱她吗？如果我没乞求你，你会留下吗？如果我没接这个节目，你会留下吗？

I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. I've never talked about it at all. Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me?

如果我没开始赚钱，你还会留在我身边吗？你现在还爱我吗？还有别人吗？我与上帝灵魂之间的真实联系，我不知道...我不知道该如何达到应有的状态。这就是我诚实的回答，你明白吗？

If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me? Do you even love me now? Are there other people? My actual soul to soul relationship with God, I don't know I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know?

比如，我信仰上帝。我相信他在保护我。我相信自己会痊愈。但我也困惑，为什么有时候与上帝有关的人却做出最伤人的事。我每晚睡前都和上帝交谈，清晨也与他对话。

Like, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm gonna heal. I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things. I talk to God every night before I go to bed, and I talk to God in the morning.

我是说，我和上帝有真正的交流，我告诉祂我有多害怕，尽管我只想保持积极。我只想好好的。我相信祂也感同身受。

I mean, I have conversations with God, and I tell God how afraid I am when I just wanna keep being positive. And I just wanna be okay. And I believe that he feels that way too.

分手后你有约会过吗？或者参加过什么相亲？

Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates?

我现在在用Hinge（交友软件）。你在用Hinge。我也在用Hinge。就现在。此时此刻。

And I'm on a hinge. You're on Hinge. I'm on Hinge. Right now. Right now.

但我改了年龄范围设置。现在不确定还能不能继续用Hinge了。

But I changed my age range. And now I don't know that I can be on Hinge.

为什么？你在Hinge上用真名吗？

Why? Are you do you use your real name on Hinge?

只显示泰迪。我的Hinge账号马上要爆火了。顺便问下Raya（精英交友app），为什么不通过我的申请？

It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Raya, why didn't you let me in?

你用真实照片吗？本人照片？

Do you use your photo? Your real photo?

泰迪那个？是的。

Teddy? Yes.

在Hinge上？是的。如果埃德温约你出去，你会怎么说？你称之为‘暂停’也很有趣。

On Hinge? Yes. If Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say? It's interesting you're calling it a break too.

嗯，不知道该怎么称呼。你怎么称呼它？当你正在离婚，然后有人得了癌症，几乎去世，所以你不得不搁置它。搁置？搁置听起来比暂停更糟。

Well, don't know what to call it. What do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce and then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away, so then you have to put it on hold. Hold? Hold sounds worse than break.

是的。没有好的答案。我的意思是，我可以说丈夫，但人们会说，你结婚了？嗯，是的，但我的意思是，这不适合放在我的Hinge个人资料上。

Yeah. There's no good answer. I mean, I could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married? Well, yes, but I mean, that's not it's not gonna fit on my hinge profile.

不。今天我们不可思议的嘉宾泰迪·梅伦坎普是一位电视名人，因《比佛利山庄的真实主妇》而走红。她还是广受欢迎的播客《Two Teas in a Pod》的联合主持人，音乐家约翰·梅伦坎普的女儿，也是她心爱的孩子们Slate、Cruz和Dove的母亲。她还是Isabella的继母，我很感激能称她为朋友。随着她的影响力和粉丝群不断爆炸式增长，她此刻也正经历着难以想象的挑战，为生命而战。

No. Our incredible guest today, Teddy Mellencamp, is a television personality who rose to fame on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. She's also the cohost of the wildly popular podcast called Two Teas in a Pod, daughter of musician John Mellencamp, a mom to her beloved little ones, Slate, Cruz, and Dove. She's also the stepmother to Isabella, and I'm so grateful to call her friend. As her impact and following continues to explode, she's also going through the unimaginable and the fight of her life in this very moment right now.

泰迪最近被诊断出患有四期黑色素瘤，她分享说已经转移到大脑和肺部。今天的播客节目与以往不同。所以准备好纸巾，准备好为你现在生活中的祝福感到无比的感激和视角，这些在我们拥有时很容易被忽视。当然，我们也会有一些乐趣，并了解你最喜欢的真人秀节目幕后真正发生的事情等等。无论今天你是为自己听，还是因为你爱的人分享了这一集，我都想欢迎你加入Jamie Kern Lima播客大家庭。

Teddy was recently diagnosed with stage four melanoma, which she shared has metastasized to her brain and lungs. And today's episode of the podcast is unlike any before. So get your tissues out and get ready to feel overwhelming gratitude and perspective for the blessings in your life right now that can be so easy for us to take for granted when we have them. And of course, we have a little fun too and get the inside scoop on what really happens behind the scenes of your favorite reality TV shows and so much more. Whether today you're listening for yourself or because someone you love shared this episode with you, I want to welcome you to the Jamie Kernley Michelle podcast family.

非常感谢你在这里。你能花两秒钟点击你正在收听或观看的应用上的订阅或关注按钮吗？这对我来说意义重大。你也可以免费收到我的灵感邮件。你可以在jamiekernlima.com加入我的新闻通讯社区。

Thank you so much for being here. And can you take two seconds and hit the subscribe or follow button on the app you're listening or watching on? It truly means so much to me. You can also get inspiration into your inbox from me for free. You can join my newsletter community at jamiekernlima.com.

今天这期不可思议的播客节目，不仅仅是为了你和我。请与你认识的每一个可能需要一些灵感或提升自信的人分享。因为你即将听到的内容可以真正影响我、你和他们的生活。

And this incredible podcast episode today, it's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know who might need some inspiration today or perhaps a boost in their self belief. Because what you're about to hear can truly impact mine, yours, and their lives too.

欢迎来到Jamie Kern Lima秀。

Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

奥普拉，你怎么样

Oprah, how have you

她的节目与我做过的任何节目都不同。

Her show is unlike any I've ever done.

一种启示。当你聆听时，感觉像被拥抱，但你的大脑、精神和心灵却在惊叹。梅琳达·弗伦奇·盖茨。当我凝视杰米的眼睛时，仿佛与她置身于另一个宇宙层面。我能看见她周身的光芒。

A revelation. When you listen, it feels like a hug, but your brain and your spirit and your heart is like, wow. Melinda French gates. When I look into Jamie's eyes, I feel like I am on some other cosmic level with her. I could see the light around her.

她整个人都浸透着光。

She's infused with light.

想象战胜自我怀疑，学会相信自己、信任自己，明白你本自具足。欢迎来到杰米·克恩·利马秀。

Imagine overcoming self doubt, learning to believe in yourself and trust yourself and know you are enough. Welcome to the Jamie Kern Lima show.

她的名字是杰米·克恩·利马。

Jamie Kern Lima is her name.

每个人生命中都需要杰米·克恩·利马。杰米·克恩·利马。杰米，你太鼓舞人心了。杰米·克恩·利马。

Everybody needs Jamie Kern Lima in their life. Jamie Kern Lima. Jamie, you're so inspiring. Jamie Kern Lima.

我和心理治疗师聊过这事。我说，如果我突然有冲动，如果有人约我出去，她就说你应该去。她说，任何你现在想做的事，只要心里觉得想做就去做。她甚至说，如果他约你而你愿意，去约会也没关系——没人给你设限。但眼下，我并不在那个状态，也不想从他那里得到那些。

I talked to my therapist about it. I'm like, if I feel the urge if I get asked on a date or if somebody wants to take me out, she's like, you should go. She's like, anything that you want to do right now and you feel in your heart that you wanna do, do it. She's like, it could even be could be a date with if he asked you on a date and you wanted to go, nobody's setting any rules for you. But, like, right now, I'm not in that play I'm not wanting that from him.

我只希望他快乐，希望孩子们快乐，希望我们能保持良好的友谊和关系。我不想做任何伤害他的事。但我觉得不需要...我大概...我大概清楚我们的婚姻运作方式。

I just want him to be happy, and I want our kids to be happy, and I want us to be able to have a good friendship and relationship. And I don't wanna do anything to hurt him. But I don't know that I need to, like I kinda I kinda know how our marriage works.

你觉得这种状态会改变吗？

And do you think it could change?

除非我愿意改变，但我想我已经不想改变了。

I think if I was willing to change, but I don't think I am anymore.

这话是什么意思？

What do you mean?

我想过去的我会不惜一切代价。是的，确保他能参加这个活动，或者我能陪他去，或者我们能一起去旅行，我会在某个时间前回家，因为这样对他和孩子们更方便，诸如此类。但现在我不再那样了。嗯。

I think I would the old me would have gone above and beyond Yeah. To do anything to make sure that he's he can go to this event or that I could attend this with him or that we could go on this trip, that I would be home by this time because that would make it more convenient for him and the kids or whatever it may be. And I don't have I'm not like that anymore. Mhmm.

你觉得他会为你改变吗？或者愿意改变吗？

Do you think he could change for you or would?

我认为他在某些方面已经改变了。通过在医院陪我，送我去医院，向医生学习，因为我觉得如果这件事发生在三年前刚确诊的时候，他可能会更温柔地对待，而不是说‘只是二期，没多少人死于二期癌症’之类的话，你知道，就是男人随口一说或朋友告诉他们然后他们重复的话。也许，我不确定，但也许我的反应会不同。但那时我已经心怀怨恨了。我不想向你解释。

I think he has changed certain things. I think by being in the hospital with me, by taking me to the hospital, by learning from doctors, because I think if this would have happened three years ago when this first was diagnosed and he would have had more of a kindness to him about it and not well, it's only stage two, not many people die from stage two of cancer, you know, like those types of things that just men say out of passing or that their friends say to them and so they repeat. Maybe, I don't know for sure, but maybe I would have responded differently. But I had already had resentment by then. I don't want to explain it to you.

上网查查吧。嗯。我不想向你解释为什么我害怕自己得了二期癌症。我不想向你解释为什么我担心自己没有健康保险，比如人寿保险。人寿保险。

Go online and look it up. Mhmm. I don't want to explain to you why I'm scared that I have stage two cancer. I don't want to explain to you why I'm afraid that I don't have health, you know, like Life insurance. Life insurance.

我不想向你解释，直到今天，无论是他还是别人，比如，我不想解释为什么现在我的甲状腺出了问题，导致我出现一些不同的健康问题。这是因为免疫疗法会攻击身体的不同部位。所以突然之间，我得了甲状腺功能减退或亢进，我记不清是哪种了。我搞不懂为什么自己抖得这么厉害，所以又得回去看医生。

I don't wanna explain to you I still to this day, whether it's him or someone else, like, I don't wanna explain to you why now it's now that my thyroid's messed up that I'm having some different medical issues. And it's because when you're on immunotherapy, it attacks different parts of your body. So now all of a sudden, I have either hypo or hyper, I can't remember which one it is, thyroidism. And I couldn't figure out why I was shaking so much. So then I had go back to that.

但问题是，一旦我告诉你诊断结果，要么打电话给我的医生，要么带着爱意和我聊聊。我只是没那个耐心了。然后我会烦躁。而且我不知道等我癌症好了之后这种情况会不会改变。嗯。

So but it's like, once I tell you what the diagnosis is, either call my doctor, talk to me a little bit, only if it's with love. Like, I just I don't have the patience for it. And then I get annoyed. And I don't know that that will change once I don't have cancer. Mhmm.

因为我知道我能做到。我知道如果别人告诉我一些他们不想多谈的事情，我可以自己去查。天啊，我每天都在播客里这么做。

Because I know I can do it. I know I can if somebody tells me something about them and it's not something they wanna talk about, I can research it. Heck, I do it every single day on the podcast.

嗯。

Mhmm.

嗯。

Mhmm.

当你提到心怀怨恨时，我知道现在这个问题浮现了，所以我要……

When you say too that you had resentment, and I know this has come out now, which is why I'm gonna

问你。是

ask you. Was

他出轨的时候吗？据媒体报道，大约十年前，就在泰迪和埃德温首次亮相《比佛利娇妻》之前，泰迪发现埃德温当时与她的一位密友有染。这对夫妇决定继续在一起，泰迪表示自那以后埃德温在婚姻中一直保持忠诚。

it when he had cheated? It's been reported in the press that nearly ten years ago, just before Teddy and Edwin made their debut on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Teddy discovered Edwin had been having an affair with one of her close friends at the time. The couple decided to stay together, and Teddy says Edwin had remained faithful in their marriage ever since.

我认为问题不一定是行为本身。

I think it wasn't necessarily the act.

是和你最好的朋友还是好朋友？

And was it with your best friend or a good friend?

是和我认识的一个人。是的，是我认识的一个人。我的意思是，我并不是说我自己没犯过大错。在那之后的婚姻里我也...但那件事彻底击垮了我。

It was with somebody I knew. Yeah, it was with somebody I knew. And I mean, I'm not saying that I didn't make huge mistakes. And and my marriage post that. But that broke me.

那是我人生中第一次感到：我该如何每天强颜欢笑地抚养孩子、做个完美妻子、开始一档电视节目、成为受人喜爱或被认为风趣的人？人们会问，为什么你在《娇妻》第一季的表现和现在听起来不一样？就像他们听我的播客时说的。我从未真正敞开心扉谈过，但这就是原因。那是我参加《娇妻》第一季时正在经历的。所以人们会说，哦，你看起来有点安静或被动，但那不是真实的我。

That was the first time in my life where I was like, how will I show up every day with a smile on my face and raise these kids and be this perfect wife and start a television show and become somebody that people like or they think are funny or and people will say, why do why do you seem different than what you were on your first season of Housewives? Like, when we listened to your podcast. And I never really opened up about it, but that's why. That's what I was going through season my first season on Housewives, that's what I was going through. So people say, oh, you seem kind of quiet or you're kind of passive or but that's not really who you are.

我当时想，我并没有伪装自己。我是在强撑。嗯。我在强撑，而且非常害怕有人会发现并毁掉我的家庭生活。

I was like, well, wasn't faking who I was. I was coping. Mhmm. I was coping and I was so scared that someone was gonna find out and ruin my family's life. Did

你告诉过别人吗？有人知道吗？

you tell anybody? Did anyone know?

我事发当天告诉了我最好的朋友。我...那天我去她家住了，就是我发现的那天。最终这件事被曝光是因为金钱问题，这更让人心碎，因为我想：你愿意为了钱这样伤害我的家庭？而且甚至不是一笔大数目？

My best friend that I told the day it happened. My like, I have one I went and stayed at her house the day that it happened and or the day I found out. And ultimately, it came down to a financial thing was why the person was coming forward. And that was even more heart wrenching, because I was like, you'd be willing to do this to my family for money? And not even a lot of it?

恶心。

Disgusting.

你发现是因为那个人站出来了吗？

Did you find out because that person came forward?

那个人给我打了电话。那个人打电话告诉了我。而且是在拍摄前几天。

That person called me. That person called me and told me. And it was a couple days before filming.

你的第一季？我的第一季。

Of your first season? Of my first season.

我不得不苦苦哀求埃德温愿意留在我身边。我不得不求他。我认为那时他并不爱我。我想在我们的婚姻中，我们有过深爱彼此的时刻，但那不是其中之一。有一段时间我想过也许我会离开，后来情况好转了。

And I had to had to had to beg Edwin to want to stay with me. I had to beg him. He I don't think he was in love with me at that point. I think we've gone through times in our marriage where we've been madly in love with each other, but that wasn't one of those times. And there was a while that I thought maybe I'll leave, and then it got better.

但我觉得人们常常认为，如果婚姻中发生这样的事，即使角色互换——要知道人们也对我有过各种议论——是因为你不在乎生活中的其他人。有时候你只是不够在乎自己。有时候你只是不够在乎自己去做最有益的事。这并不是想伤害别人。我不认为埃德温是想伤害我。

But I think people oftentimes think that if this happens in a marriage and, you know, even if it's reversed, which, you know, people have said a lot of different things about me too, is that you're doing it because you don't have care for other people in your life. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself. Sometimes you just don't have enough care for yourself to do what's best. And it's not trying to hurt other people. I don't think Edwin was trying to hurt me.

我不认为自己一生中犯过的任何错误是试图伤害我的家人或埃德温，当然更不会伤害孩子们。但人们很少公开谈论这些话题。因为每个人都害怕被评判

I don't think throughout any of the mistakes I've made throughout my life, I've been trying to hurt my family or Edwin or, of course, not my kids. But people don't make these conversations open very often. Because everybody's scared of being judged

是的。

Yes.

而大多数时候，很多人都深受其害。我百分之百万地承认，我做过许多希望时光倒流的事。也有些事我可以坦然说，我需要那么做才能继续前行。

When most of the time, a lot of people are affected by it. And I mean, I 1000000% have done many things in my life that I wish I could turn back time. And there's some things that I can say, I needed to do that to move on.

你能谈谈这个当时铺天盖地的新闻报道吗？是的。那个马术教练的事。

Can you talk about this was everywhere in the press. Yeah. So the horse trainer.

是的。我从未谈论过这件事，完全是为了孩子们。我也不想让任何人确定这事是否发生过。但我可以说的是，我做过伤害别人的事吗？做过。

Yeah. I've never talked about it at all just because of the kids. And I've never wanted anybody to have, you know, a guarantee whether it happened or didn't happen. But what I can say is, did I do things that hurt other people? Yes.

直到今天，这仍让我心痛吗？我在想这是否就是我患癌的原因？是的。

To this day, does it still hurt my heart? And I wonder if that's why I got cancer? Yes.

就像这是我的报应。

Like it was my payback.

所以我想没有什么是无需代价的。但确实，整个事件——无论持续了多久——被媒体铺天盖地报道时，你试图减轻每个人的痛苦，结果却适得其反。如果你觉得可以敞开心扉，因为现在受伤害的不只是你自己，还有你的伴侣、孩子，对方的伴侣和孩子——太多人在残局中受伤了。

So nothing goes without payment, I guess. But, yeah, the entire that entire however long it was that it was all over the press, that it was everywhere. And, you know, you're trying to you're trying to minimize everybody's pain, you end up maximizing it. Whereas if you feel like you could just open up, because now, not only do you have yourself, you have your significant other, your kids, the other person's significant other, their kids. I mean, so many people are hurt in the wreckage.

但根据我的认知可以说：残局不会凭空发生。这种事从未发生在我身上过。

But I can say this from knowing. The wreckage doesn't happen on its own. It never had happened to me.

你什么意思？

What do you mean?

我觉得在那段人生里，作为人类的我破碎不堪，做出了违背理智的事。

Like, I think I was so broken as a human being during that part of my life that I did things out of my better judgment.

记得你之前提过，有时做了会后悔的事，有时是出于需要。你觉得那个阶段是为了让你进入下个阶段吗？还是...

You know, earlier, you mentioned sometimes you do things and you regret it. Sometimes you do things because you needed to Yeah. To to go to that next place or to and do you think that that season was because it was something you needed to then go to the next season? Or

我认为那个阶段的我病得很重。记得我说过持续数月的头痛之类吗？我在任何能找到安慰的地方寻求慰藉。我感到无比痛苦，病入膏肓。

I think I was so sick during that stage. Because remember how I told you there was, like, months of headaches and stuff like Yeah. I was looking for comfort anywhere I could get it. I felt so much pain. I felt so sick.

我没去看医生。只是感觉某种特定的状态。痛苦如此剧烈，以至于我几乎憎恨清晨醒来——我从来不是那种人。我注意到自己身上那些...完全不像我的表现。但我不打算归咎于...

I didn't go to the doctors. I didn't and I just felt some certain kind of way. And the pain was so much that I had gotten to the point of like almost hating waking up in the morning, which I had never been that kind of person. I noticed things about myself that just like, would just I wasn't myself. And I'm not gonna blame that I

当时

was

糟透了。但我确实觉得生活中有一堆事情几乎同时发生，而我却对它们毫无掌控力。就像只无头苍蝇一样到处乱撞。这样做会让我好受些吗？并不会。

sick. But I do think a bunch of things happened in my life all around the same time, and I had zero control of any of them. Like, I just was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. Will this make me feel better? No.

这个会吗，那个会吗，这个，那个，这个，那个。

Will this, will this, will this, will this, this, that.

你的信仰状况如何？这段时间以及此刻你与上帝的关系怎样？我们需要暂停一下稍作休息。在此期间，请将本期内容分享给你认识的所有可能从中获得激励的人——因为这场对话或许正是他们今天需要听到的箴言，能让他们继续前行，记住自己很重要，感觉不再孤独、更加充实、更有联结感且更有价值。生活中，你并不会翱翔到希望与梦想的高度，而是会困在自我价值的层级上。

How is your how is your faith? How's your relationship with God through this and right now? We need to pause for a super brief break. And while we do, take a moment and share this episode with every single person that you know who this could inspire because this conversation can truly be the words and inspiration that they need to hear today to keep going, to remember that they matter, and to feel less alone and more enough, more connected, and more worthy. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self worth.

当你建立起自我价值感时，整个人生都会改变。这正是我撰写新书《如何相信自己足够好并为你改变人生》的原因。如果你需要击碎自我怀疑并实现命运，《值得》就是为你而写。在书中，你将学到带来人生蜕变的有效工具与简单步骤：如何摆脱束缚你的事物，建立不可动摇的自我关爱，摒弃导致自我怀疑的谎言，拥抱唤醒价值感的真理，克服限制性信念和冒名顶替综合征。

When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for You. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness. Overcome limiting beliefs and impostor syndrome.

通过相信自己配得上它们甚至更多，来实现你的希望与梦想。准备好释放你的伟大，成为你命中注定要成为的那个人了吗？想象一个毫无自我怀疑、拥有不可动摇自我价值的人生。立即在worthybook.com或下方节目备注链接处获取《值得》及超值赠礼。试想若你完全相信自己，将会成就什么。

Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more. Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you.

是时候通过《值得》来寻找答案了。你交往的对象至关重要，因为能量会传染，自我信念亦是如此。我渴望与你更多相处——尤其当你需要额外激励时——为此我创建了免费周刊《与杰米的一对一》。这份直投你邮箱的周二晨间信件也是给你的情书。若尚未订阅，请前往jamiekernlimah.com登记，准备好相信自己吧。如果你厌倦了每日负面新闻，需要些注入收件箱的灵感、技巧、工具、快乐与爱，我正是你要找的人。

It's time to find out with Worthy. Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox each and every Tuesday morning from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlimah.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your One on One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl.

在jamiekernlema.com或节目备注链接处订阅。你是否受困于消极的自我对话？活在'我不够好'的持续心理叙事中令人精疲力竭——我深有体会，因我大半生都陷于此。你对自己所说的那些话极具力量。

Subscribe at jamiekernlema.com or in the link in the show notes. Do you struggle with negative self talk? Living with a constant mental narrative that you're not good enough is exhausting. I know because I spent most of my life in that habit. The words you say to yourself about yourself are so powerful.

当你学会掌控自我对话时，人生将彻底改变。为此我为你准备了免费资源《克服消极自我对话与建立自我关爱的五种方法》。这份指南将教你战胜消极自我对话，建立自信，培养不可动摇的自我关爱，从而敢于梦想并持续追求目标。别再让自我否定的想法阻碍你的进步。

And when you learn to take control over your self talk, it's life changing. And I wanted to give you a free resource that I created for you if this is something that could benefit your life. It's called Five Ways to Overcome Negative Self Talk and Build Self Love. And it's a free how to guide to overcome that negative self talk to build confidence and develop unshakable self love so that you can dream big and keep going in the pursuit of your goals. Don't let self sabotaging thoughts hinder your progress any longer.

是时候重写你的人生剧本了——一个充满自我关爱、韧性和坚定信念的版本。若你准备好掌控人生叙事，建立坚定自信，赋予自己追逐梦想的力量，可在jamiekernlimah.com/resources获取免费指南《停止过度思考并学会相信自己》，或点击下方节目备注链接。现在让我们继续这场精彩对话：你的信仰状况如何？这段时间以及此刻你与上帝的关系怎样？

It's time to rewrite the script of your life, one filled with self love, resilience, and unwavering belief. If you're ready to take charge of your narrative, build unwavering confidence, and empower yourself to persevere on the path to your dreams, you can grab your free guide to stop overthinking and learn to trust yourself at jamiekernlimah.com/resources or click the link in the show notes below. And now more of this incredible conversation together. How is your how is your faith? How's your relationship with God through this and right now?

要我实话实说吗？嗯...好吧。我的信仰出现了转折——不是信仰本身，而是我与上帝的关系。我们去了外地参加夫妻治疗。

Do you want me to be honest about Mhmm. Okay. My faith took a turn. My not my faith, but my relationship with God took a turn. I went to a couples therapy, where we went out of town.

那时我认为自己正为婚姻做最激烈的抗争。而感觉这耗尽了我仅存的最后一丝斗志。我不禁困惑，这怎么可能？这怎么可能？这本该是我们扭转局面的关键时刻。

And this is when I think I was fighting for my marriage the most. And I felt like it took away the last couple bits of fight that I had left in me. And I wondered, how is this possible? How is this possible? This is supposed to be that moment that we're going to be able to change things.

我已经经历过第一次癌症的打击，虽然那时还没患上脑癌。与埃德温的过往创伤早已造成，但我仍需继续前行。记得当时我坐在那里对那人说：要向前走，我必须知道真相。我需要了解故事的每个细节。而我记得他看着我说：不，你不需要知道。

I'd already had the, you know, the first cancer thing. I hadn't had the brain cancer yet, you know, the past stuff with Edwin, that damage was way done, but I still needed to move on. And I remember sitting there and talking to the person and saying, I need to in order to move on, I need to know what happened. I need to know every bit of the story. And I remember him looking at me and saying, No, you don't.

那一刻我突然醒悟：如果埃德温选择向这样的人求助，我们就永远无法改变。因为他不再视我为平等的存在。这令人心碎。那天我们坐在海滩上，当其他人早早离开后，我们一起打匹克球——那是我们在那里度过的最美好的一天。

And I remember thinking in that moment, If this is the person Edwin is going to, we will never change. Because he doesn't see me as the same. And it's heartbreaking. I knew that day we've sat out on the beach that day everybody left early when we sat out on the beach and we played pickleball. That was our best day there.

我们开怀大笑，重温彼此吸引的特质，但最终我仍恳求道：请原原本本告诉我发生了什么。

We got to laugh and have fun and remember what we liked about each other, but still at the very end, I asked, please tell me exactly what happened.

关于那场婚外情。

With the affair.

他却说：你早就听过了。不必知道细节，只会让你更痛苦。这种话我已经听过太多次了。

And he said, you even heard. You don't need to know. It's only gonna hurt you. You can only hear that so many times.

这个反应对你意味着什么？是否让你意识到关系终结？

And did that what did that mean to you that made you know this is done?

因为七年来——或许更久，现在算来已有十年——我不断追问细节。我需要了解事情如何开始，虽然不需要知道具体肉体关系，但必须明白心理层面的过程：你们如何开始交谈？

Because somebody I had been asking for however many years, seven years, maybe more. I mean, I've been asking almost now it's been ten years, but I had asked so many times what the details were. I needed to understand how it started. I needed like there were certain things I don't need to know like the actual serious physical things, but I needed to know the mental side of it. How did you start talking to this person?

第一次是什么时候？你爱过她吗？如果我不哀求，你会留在我身边吗？如果我没安排那场演出，如果我没开始赚钱，你还会选择我吗？

What was the first time? Were you in love with her? If I didn't beg you, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't book the show, would you have stayed with me? If I didn't start making money, would you have stayed with me?

你现在还爱我吗？还有别人吗？

Do you even love me now? Are there other people?

我不知道。他会回答你吗？

I don't know. He would answer you?

如今他可能会回答我，但我仍不确定我们是否会谈论她。

He would probably answer me present day, but I still don't know that we would ever talk about her.

那么...是你内心有什么东西驱使你想知道吗？

And and is it something inside you that just needs to know?

我不再需要知道了。真的不需要了。这是这么多年来我第一次不再需要寻求答案。

I don't need to know anymore. I don't need to know anymore. And that's the first time in however many years I haven't needed to know.

嗯。

Mhmm.

就像我内心有个声音说，你不需要知道。我不需要知道这是真相还是谎言，什么都不需要知道。这种状态让我感到平静。

Just something in me went, you don't need to know. And I don't need to know if it's the truth. I don't need to know if it's a lie. I don't need to know anything. And that gives me peace.

这改变了你和上帝的关系吗？

Did that change your relationship with God?

我不认为这改变了我与上帝的关系，但改变了我与上帝沟通的方式。比如现在我的支持系统不再依赖教会，虽然我有很多虔诚的教会朋友会和我讨论这些并帮助我。还有一位信仰深厚的治疗师。

I don't think it changed my relationship with God. It changed my relationship to how I'm in a communication with God. Like, I don't my support system is now not through the church. I have a lot of very close friends that are very close in the church that talk to me a lot about this and help me. And I also have somebody who is very faith based that's my therapist.

但说到灵魂与上帝的直接联系...老实说，我不知道该如何达到应有的状态。我相信上帝存在，相信他在保护我，相信自己会痊愈。

But my actual soul to soul relationship with God, I don't know if I don't know how to get it to where it needs to be. And that's just an honest answer, you know? Like, I believe in God. I believe he's protecting me. I believe that I'm gonna heal.

可我也困惑：为什么有些以上帝之名行事的人反而最伤人？这让我很挣扎。像我这样的人原本对一切都有固定认知...不过我已经看开很多了，要知道我以前甚至抗拒拥抱。

I also believe how come sometimes the people involved with God do some of the most hurtful things? And it's really hard. For someone like me, Everything's a certain way. You know, like, I've definitely loosened up. I mean, I I used to not even be able to give hugs.

如今我能做到这样已是巨大进步。但我仍在努力，我认为这是个学习的过程。经历这一切时，我试图寻找快乐，寻找正确的道路，并相信凡事皆有因果。

The fact that I can even do that now is a big step up. But I'm trying. I think I'm a learning process. And I think through all of this, I'm trying to find happiness. I'm trying to find the right way and trying to believe that things happen for a reason.

你真心相信这点吗？还有在你与上帝的关系中，你是否曾怀疑过上帝的存在？

Do you do you believe that? And also in your relationship with God, have you do you doubt God exists ever?

我不怀疑上帝存在。但坦白说，我未能在与上帝的关系中投入应有的时间和精力。这不是在推卸责任——我确实没有付出应有的努力。当你认识那些极度虔诚的人时，总会产生很多...

I don't doubt God exists. I would say I don't put the time and effort I should into my relationship with God. And it's because and I'm not blaming. I haven't put my the time and the effort I need to into my relationship with God. I think there comes a lot of when you've known people that are super religious Yeah.

看到某些方面后，对我反而会产生疏离感。嗯。因为我看到他们作为凡人的一面。嗯。嗯。

And you see certain sides, then for me, it can be a pull away. Mhmm. Because then I see them being humans. Mhmm. Mhmm.

这让我感到难以理解。

And that's hard for me to decipher.

你的诊断结果，特别是四月份确诊的四期病情——你是否就此与上帝有过对话？

Has your diagnosis and in particular, the one most recently in April of stage four have you had a conversation with God about that?

噢，关于这个我和上帝谈过很多次。我每晚睡前都与上帝交谈，清晨也如此。我向祂倾诉自己的恐惧，即便我竭力保持积极，只求能够安然面对。

Oh, I've had many conversations with God about it. I mean, I talk to him. I talk to God every night before I go to bed, and I talk to God in the morning. I mean, I have conversations with God, and I tell God how afraid I am when I just wanna keep being positive. And I just wanna be okay.

我相信上帝也感同身受。这些对话虽简短，但确实...你知道的，人总要尽力而为。我希望孩子们能建立起比我更坚定的对人与上帝的信仰。说实话，我很难信任自己、他人乃至上帝。

And I believe that he feels that way too. And so they're just small conversations. But it's definitely you know, it's it's one of those things where you you do your best. I I hope that my kids build more of a a belief in people and God than I have. Like, it's very hard for me to trust myself, other people, God.

是因为你经历的那些事。

Because of what you've gone through.

我们可以追溯无数往事，但时间有限。总之经历确实太多了。是的。

So we can go back a million more years. We don't have that kind of time, but it's been a lot. Yeah.

是的。当我们遭遇那些百万年都不愿发生在任何人身上的事，那些可怕到毫无道理的事时，你是否会有那么一丝信念或信仰，觉得这一切虽难以理解、虽糟糕透顶，却是为我而发生，而我终将从中走出来？

Yeah. When things we do not wish upon anyone happen to us, things that we would never ever want in a million years, do you is there any part of you that believes or, I guess, just has faith that even though it doesn't make sense, even though it's awful, like, it's happening for me, I'm gonna come out of this?

是的。我是说，我就是这么相信的。在我被诊断出胸腔和肺部有肿瘤之前——你知道的，那个八号或九号肿瘤——我当时的状态非常糟糕。如果不是因为这个诊断，我可能会因为婚姻和生活中的问题走向另一种崩溃。但这件事迫使我们所有人都停下来深呼吸，重新记住什么才是重要的。

Yeah. I mean, I that's that's how I believe this is happening. Like, I before I was diagnosed with the, you know, the one in my the eight in my or the nine in my chest and my lungs and all that, I was really in a poor place. And I think my spiral would have gone down in a different way because of, you know, things that were going on in my marriage and our life. And then that kind of happened and it forced all of us to take a breath and remember what's important.

没错。它逼着我们所有人意识到：嘿伙计们，你们都犯过错。喘口气吧，那些都不是现在的重点，这个才是。

Yeah. It forced all of us to go, hey, guys, you've all made mistakes. Take a breath. This is not the priority here. This is.

有没有哪些事是你决定'就这样原谅了'的？

Have there been things you've decided I'm just going to forgive?

我想有的。我这辈子确实有些事会选择原谅。但也要承认还有些事——我不确定自己是否还在生气。我觉得还有很多心结需要解开。过去我总因为别人期待我成为某种样子而活。

I think yeah. I mean, throughout my life, think there's certain things that I'm gonna forgive. Would say there's also certain things that like I don't know that I'm angry about. I think I have a lot of figuring out still to do. And I feel like so much in my life I've I've done this because people expect me to be a certain way.

现在我开始明白：我就该做真实的自己。我经常词不达意，会犯错，会说这个说那个——

And part of all this is learning like, I I gotta be just the way that I am. You know, I'm not the best spoken half the time. I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm gonna say this. I'm gonna say that.

但我也可以很有趣、充满爱意、待人友善，这才是我。现在我更坚持'要么接受真实的我，要么离开'的态度。

But I can also be really fun and loving and kind and that's kinda who I am. And I've had to be a little bit more take me or leave me.

你感觉更自由了吗？

Do you feel more free?

确实更自由了。现在我连社交媒体上别人怎么评价我都懒得看。以前每天都有新的大新闻，后来我取消了Google提醒，彻底不看那些了——说来可笑，我在医院做脑部手术时居然还在纠结该花多少时间刷社交软件，甚至犹豫要不要发动态。

I feel more free. I mean, I don't even look anymore what people say about me on social media. It's a daily occurrence. Some new massive thing and I'm like, I removed Google alerts. I stopped looking at all of those things because I mean, I I was so confused on how much time to be on social media when I was in the hospital getting brain surgery that I was like, should I post this?

结果Kyle说'绝对不行'，反问我怎么会有发帖的念头。这些平台已经变成生活的枷锁，有些事回头想想，我自己都不敢相信当时居然会考虑去做。嗯。

And Kyle was like, absolutely not. What do mean should you post this? Like, it just becomes such like a part of your life and like there were parts that I just couldn't even believe that I would even consider doing. Mhmm.

是不是因为你被训练得太习惯去喜欢

Is it because you're so trained to like

是啊。

Yeah.

你你太公开了。

You're you're so public.

没错，太公开了。总是让大家知道发生了什么，人们就不用猜测我消失去干嘛了等等。最后需要一整个团队来劝我：‘泰迪，我们会一起制定分享计划。你不需要在医院里还没完全了解情况就急着分享这些。’

Yeah. So public. And so like keeping people in the loop of what's going on and people are not gotten to wonder where I've been for blah blah blah. And then finally, it took like an entire team of people to be like, Teddy, we'll all come up with a plan to share. You don't need to be in the hospital not fully comprehensive to what's going on sharing any of this.

坐在这里好好养病。你知道，就像有人问‘那你为什么还做播客，靠谈论别人谋生？’我说我只是在复盘一档真人秀节目，别太当真。如果你当真了，希望你真心享受。

Sit here and heal. You know, like, people say, well, then why do you do a podcast where you talk about people for a living? I'm like, I'm recapping a reality television show. Don't take it so seriously. And if you do, I hope you really enjoy it.

因为这本质上就是一档真人秀节目。

Because, like, that's really what it is. It's a reality television show.

嗯哼。说到这个转变，你之前提到最近在约会某人——我知道你在说谁，因为我在Page Six上看到了报道，其他媒体也有。你说当媒体开始讨论时，你们已经分手了，对吧？是这样吗？

Mhmm. So with this whole shift, you you shared earlier you are dating someone recently, which I know what you're talking about because I saw it come out on page six, and it I think it came out in a bunch of places. And you were saying, by the time y'all and the press were talking about it, I had already broken up with that person. Right? Is that what happened?

而且当然，你做的任何事，哪怕只是呼吸或微笑，人们都会评头论足。对吧？这就是我们现在的世界。我读过你的一句话，你说‘我现在不想要任何严肃的关系’。

And and and, of course, anything that you do, if you breathe and you smile, people have an opinion on everything. Right? That's the world that we're in nowadays. And I read a quote where you had where you said, you know, I just don't want anything serious right now.

我觉得现在，我能感到状态最好的日子有限。对，而且我往往事后才知道哪天状态好。所以我没法处在需要帮别人规划人生或日常安排的关系里。

Well, I think right now, there's only so many days where I'm gonna feel my best or feel my strongest. Yeah. And I don't know them until later. So I can't be in a place where I need to be planning, helping somebody else plan out their life or their day to day activities. Yeah.

如果一切自然发展，能有个伴当然好。但我现在不想——没计划再婚或做这些事。嗯，我现在只想战胜这个病。

Like if it all just works and it's and it's company and it doesn't great. But I'm not looking to like, I don't wanna I don't have any plans like getting married again or doing these things right now. Mhmm. Like, I'm just trying to beat this thing. Yeah.

你会的。而且我觉得这是最重要的事。我对之前约会的那位没有任何恶意，可怜的家伙，我就像在说，抱歉，我试图警告过你。

And you will. And I and I think that's the the biggest thing. And I don't have any ill will towards the guy I was dating. Poor thing that I'm like, sorry. Tried to warn you.

但他真的很注重隐私，对吧？是的。他无处不在。确实。

But but he's really private. Right? Yeah. He's everywhere. Yeah.

我就觉得，对此很抱歉。但我从没对此有过任何负面情绪。更多只是像，在我感觉还好的日子里，这就是我能给的全部了。嗯。是的。

I'm like, sorry about it. But I there was never anything negative about it. It was more just like, on the days I feel good right now, that's all I got. Yeah. Yeah.

我很抱歉。

And I'm sorry.

他想要更认真的关系。所以

He want it more serious. And so

他虽然没有明说，但我能感觉到。是啊。但他真是个好人，非常体贴，乐于助人，你知道，也许在我人生的另一个阶段会不同。嗯。就像这样一个好男人，如此关心人，乐于助人。

He didn't necessarily say but I could I could feel it. Yeah. But such a good person and so like, you know, maybe at a different time in my life. Mhmm. Like such a nice guy, so like caring, helpful.

有些人格类型天生就是照顾者。而他在这方面做得非常出色，但后来我开始感觉几乎有点内疚。就像我在想，我需要确保自己也在同样的...等等，我该怎么表达？我不希望发展到他比我更认真的地步。

And there's certain personality types that are caregivers. And like he was so excellent at it, but then I just started feeling like almost like bad. Like I was like, I need I need to make sure that I'm in the same Hold on. How do I phrase this? I didn't want it to get to a point where he was more serious than me.

嗯。

Mhmm.

然后我不得不以一种戏剧性的方式结束它。我的生活已经有够多戏剧性了。嗯。真的够了。嗯。

And then I had to end it in a way that was dramatic. I have enough dramatics in my life. Mhmm. I have enough. Mhmm.

如果可能的话...但那些给我发消息的人会说，你怎么敢去约会？你有这个，你有那个。我就想说，伙计们，我们都得做当下让自己开心的事。只要不伤害别人就行。总得有个快乐的中间地带。

If I can but the peep the people that send me messages and like, how dare you ever go on a date? You have you have this, you have that. I'm like, guys, we all gotta do what just makes us happy in the moment. Let's try as long as we're not hurting anyone. Like like, it's there's gotta be a happy medium.

我们不能对每个人的所作所为都如此妄加评判，因为我们并不了解他人正在经历什么。

We can't be so judgmental of everything that everybody does because we don't know what people are going through.

是的。那之后你有和谁约会过或出去约会吗？

Yes. Have you dated anyone since or gone on any dates?

没有。我是说，我在用Hinge。你也在用Hinge。我现在就在用Hinge。

No. I mean, I'm on Hinge. You're on Hinge. I'm on Hinge. Right now.

就现在。嗯。但我改了年龄范围，现在不确定还能不能用Hinge了。为什么？我调成了更年长的。

Right now. Mhmm. But I changed my age range, and now I don't know that I can be on Henge. Why? I changed it to older.

想着或许该找更年长的，因为...我也不确定。这只是个假设。结果调完之后收到一堆消息，我就觉得——不，这不是我需要的。完全不需要。

Was like, maybe I need to be with maybe I need to be with somebody older because I don't I don't know. This is just a theory. And then I put it older and then I was like, getting all these messages. And I was like, Nope, this is not what I need. Not what I need.

他们发的消息都太长。还爱用缩写。

They send too long a messages. They write 's.

我正想说，如果你不想太认真，我以为你会选更年轻的。

I was going to say I would think you'd go younger if you want like nothing super serious.

这个嘛...我是考虑到有人结过婚有孩子，因为已经两次遇到这种情况——两个交往对象起初说不想要孩子、不想结婚，结果突然改口说'我从来没说过不要啊，只是没考虑过'。

Well, that's well, I was thinking once somebody's married and had because it has happened twice to me where two people that I've dated said they didn't want kids, said they didn't wanna get married, and then all of a sudden there's a flip around. Like, I would. I never said I wouldn't. It's just not something on my radar. Well, no.

不。单身时谁都不会考虑这个。但我这么问是有原因的。

No. It's on nobody's radar when they're single. But I was asking for a reason.

你在Hinge上用真名吗？

Are you do you use your real name on Hinge?

上面只写着泰迪。我的Hinge账号快爆了。对了Raya，你刚才为什么不让我进门？

It just says Teddy. My hinge is about to blow up. By the way, Raya, why didn't you let me in?

啊好吧。你用自己照片吗？真实照片？

Ah, okay. Do you use your photo? Your real photo?

对啊。泰迪？是的。在Hinge上？没错。

Yeah. And Teddy? Yes. On Hinge? Yes.

不然我还能去哪儿认识人？难道要我发短信问你'嘿，有合适的人介绍给我吗'？认识我的人都认识埃德温。我得尊重他。

Where else am I going to go to meet somebody? Like, what am I going to text you and be like, hey, do you know anyone good for me? Like, everybody I know knows Edwin. Right. I want to be respectful to him.

总不能说'嘿埃德温，我认识了三周前和你打匹克球那哥们，挺可爱的'。不过我们常拿这事开玩笑。有天他进我房间看见花就问'有人送你花？'我说'是啊'。

I don't need to be like, hey, Edwin, met the guy you played pickle with three weeks ago. It's a cute one. Like, but we do laugh about this stuff. He's like, the other day I came in and I had flowers in my room and he's like, did somebody send you flowers? I'm like, yeah.

结果卡片上写着'神秘爱慕者'。他震惊问'什么情况？'我说'是孩子们送的，因为我问他们要红色花朵'。

Look what it says and it says the secret love your secret admirer. And he goes, what? And I go, it's from the kids because I asked them for red flowers.

所以...你说如果埃德温约会你没问题？

So, okay. So you said you'd be fine if Edwin dated?

对。让我不爽的是——你毫无感觉。倒不是真没感觉，但凭什么火力都冲我来？没人追查埃德温可能约会对象，却都盯着我。

Yes. One of my issues. You feel nothing. I also don't it's it's not even that I feel nothing, but it's like, why am I getting all the wrath? Like, where's Edwin's like, nobody's tracked down who he could potentially be dating, but they're on me.

我对谁笑一下，那就是我新男友。艾瑞卡说得妙：'因为他们根本不关心男方'。

I breathe on someone, and that's my new boyfriend. Yeah. Erica was so funny. She was like, it's because they don't care about the guys.

说实话，社会对女性确实更苛刻。任何担任过公众角色或政府职务的女性...绝对如此。

I I tell you, I think people are harder on women for sure. Yeah. Every woman who's ever, you know, had a a public role of any kind Yeah. Or a government role or anything. I definitely think people are harder on women.

那么，如果埃德温约你出去约会，你会怎么回答？

With, so if Edwin asked you on a date, what would you say?

要看我孩子在不在场还是不在场？

If my kids were there or not my kids?

两种情况都算。无论哪种。

Both. Either way.

好吧。如果是私人单独约会。比如，我们能约会吗？我会拒绝。但如果他说，想和孩子们一起吃晚餐吗？

Okay. A personal date one on one. Like, can we go on a date? I would say no. But if he said, do you wanna go to dinner with the kids?

我会答应。或者他说，想去吃晚餐吗？我也会答应。但如果明确说是约会性质

I would say yes. Or if he said, do you wanna go to dinner? I would say yes. But if you made it like it was a date

嗯。

Yeah.

我就会拒绝。我觉得我们俩，不管未来如何，现在都需要这段缓冲期。以前的我可不是这样——说实话，当年他不想和我在一起时，我根本不信分居这套。

I would say no. I think both of us, regardless of where the future holds, I think both of us need this time. And I and I was always one of those people before. Believe me, back in the day when he didn't really wanna be with me, I did not believe in breaks. Yeah.

但现在...我真的不知道。我什么都不确定了。这段经历只教会我一件事：我其实一无所知。只能一天天慢慢往前走。

But now, you know, I don't know. I don't know anything. All I've learned from all of this is I don't know anything. Yeah. I know I gotta just one foot in front of the other day by day.

有意思的是你也用'缓冲期'这个说法。

Well, it's interesting you're you're calling it a break too.

不然该怎么称呼？离婚过程中突然有人患癌病危，不得不暂停程序——这算什么呢？

Well, I don't don't know what to call what do you call it? What do you call it when you're on a divorce? Yeah. And then somebody gets cancer, almost passes away. So then you have to put it on hold.

保留？保留听起来比分手更糟。是啊，这问题没有完美答案。说丈夫吧，别人又会追问‘你结婚了？’

Hold? Hold sounds worse than break. Yeah. There's no good answer. I mean, could just say husband, but then people are like, you're married?

是结婚了，但总不能把这事写进交友软件简介吧。不行。

Well, yes, but I mean, that's not gonna fit on my hinge profile. No.

太有意思了。和Teddy Mellencamp的这段对话充满力量、脆弱与启迪。我们将其分成三部分——接下来要轻松些，Teddy将揭秘你最爱的真人秀幕后真相，以及其中有多少是真实的。

That's so funny. This conversation with Teddy Mellencamp is so powerful and vulnerable and inspiring. We made it into three parts. Coming up, we're lightening things up around here. Teddy is sharing what really happens behind the scenes on your favorite reality TV shows and how much of it is really real.

她还会分享应对网络批评的实用技巧，以及如何帮助亲友度过人生困境的宝贵经验。在《Jamie Kern Lima秀》下期节目中，Teddy将在最终章第三部分前所未有地敞开心扉。请记住这期节目不仅为你我而做，请分享给每个你认识的人，因为它可能成为改变他们人生的契机。若你喜欢本期内容，请点击订阅按钮。

Plus her best tools and tips on how to navigate online criticism and her hard earned wisdom on how you can best help your friends and loved ones navigate hard things in their lives and so much more. Teddy is opening up like never before in this final part three of this conversation coming up in the next episode of The Jamie Kern Lima Show. Remember, this episode's not just for you and me. Please share this with every single person that you know because it can be the impact and change that they need in their life too. And if you love today's episode, click on the follow or subscribe button for the show on the app that you're listening to it on or watching it on.

若节目为你带来价值，请给予评分或评论，我将不胜感激。再次强调，请分享给所有你关心的人——也许某个正经历困境的朋友需要这些话语和工具。你永远不知道今天分享的这期节目会改变谁的命运。

And if it added value to your life, if you could please give it a rating or review, I'd be so grateful. And again, share it with everyone that you believe in. Share it with another person in your life who could benefit from it. Maybe someone you know is going through a struggle or a hard time too, and they're just trying to keep the faith. Please share it with others online or in your community who just might need the words and tools and lessons in this episode today.

临别前，请记住这句真理：此刻真实的你，本就足够且完全值得。你值得拥有最宏大的希望、最狂野的梦想，以及世上全部无条件的爱。

You never know whose life you are meant to change today by sharing this episode. And thank you so much for joining me today. Before you go, I wanna share some words with you that couldn't be more true. You, right now, exactly as you are, are enough and fully worthy. You're worthy of your greatest hopes, your wildest dreams, and all the unconditional love in the world.

很荣幸邀请你收听《Jamie Kern Lima秀》每期节目。在这里，你可以真实做自己，疗愈所需，绽放所愿，追寻使命，停留随心——因为你属于这里。你值得被爱。

And it's an honor to welcome you to each and every episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. Here, I hope you'll come as you are. Heal where you need, blossom what you choose, journey toward your calling, and stay as long as you'd like because you belong here. You are worthy. You are loved.

你就是爱本身。我爱你。期待下期节目再会。人生中，你无法飞跃到希望的高度，只会困在自我价值的层级。

You are love. And I love you. And I cannot wait to join you on the next episode of the Jamie Kern Lima show. In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams. You stay stuck at the level of your self worth.

当你建立自我价值，就重塑了整个生命。这正是我为你撰写新书《如何相信你本自具足并改变人生》的原因。若你亟待破除自我怀疑、实现命运，这本书就是为你准备的。书中将教你突破限制、建立不可动摇的自我认同、摒弃导致怀疑的谎言、拥抱唤醒价值感的真理、克服限制性信念和冒名顶替综合征——通过相信你本就值得，来实现梦想。

When you build your self worth, you change your entire life. And that's exactly why I wrote my new book, How to Believe You Are Enough and Transform Your Life for you. If you have some self doubt to destroy and a destiny to fulfill, Worthy is for you. In Worthy, you'll learn proven tools and simple steps that bring life changing results, like how to get unstuck from the things holding you back, build unshakable self love, unlearn the lies that lead to self doubt, and embrace the truths that wake up worthiness, Overcome limiting beliefs and impostor syndrome. Achieve your hopes and dreams by believing you are worthy of them and so much more.

准备好释放伟大潜能，成为命中注定的自己了吗？想象零怀疑、不可动摇的自我价值人生。立即在worthybook.com获取《Worthy》及超值赠礼。若你全然相信自己会如何生活？是时候通过《Worthy》找到答案了。

Are you ready to unleash your greatness and step into the person you were born to be? Imagine a life with zero self doubt and unshakable self worth. Get your copy of Worthy plus some amazing thank you bonus gifts for you at worthybook.com or the link in the show notes below. Imagine what you'd do if you fully believed in you. It's time to find out with Worthy.

你与谁为伴至关重要，因为能量会相互感染，自信亦是如此。我渴望与你共度更多时光，尤其当你需要额外灵感补给时——这正是我创建免费每周简报的初衷，它也是我直接寄送至你邮箱的一封情书。若你尚未订阅以确保每周接收，请访问jamiekernlimah.com加入名单，你将收到《与杰米的一对一》周报，准备好重新相信自己吧。若你厌倦了每日负面新闻，渴望灵感、实用建议、工具、快乐与爱意涌入收件箱，我就是你的不二之选。立即在jamiekernlimah.com或节目备注链接处订阅。

Who you spend time around is so important as energy is contagious and so is self belief. And I'd love to hang out with you even more, especially if you could use an extra dose of inspiration, which is exactly why I've created my free weekly newsletter that's also a love letter to you delivered straight to your inbox from me. If you haven't signed up to make sure that you get it each week, just go to jamiekernlimah.com to make sure you're on the list and you'll get your One on One with Jamie weekly newsletter and get ready to believe in you. If you're tired of hearing the bad news every single day and need some inspiration, some tips, tools, joy, and love hitting your inbox, I'm your girl. Subscribe at jamiekernlimah.com or in the link in the show notes.

请注意，我并非持证治疗师，本播客内容不可替代医生、专业教练、心理治疗师或其他合格专业人士的建议。

And please note, I'm not a licensed therapist and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional.