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乔·罗根播客。
Joe Rogan podcast.
去看看。
Check it out.
乔·罗根体验。
The Joe Rogan experience.
展示我的一天。
Showing my day.
乔·罗根播客。
Joe Rogan podcast.
我的夜晚。
My night.
一整天。
All day.
嘿。
Hey.
嘿。
Hey.
能来这里真好。
Good to be here.
你在得克萨斯。
You in Texas.
我知道。
I know.
我感觉不错。
I feel good.
我做了检测。
I got tested.
我感觉很棒。
I feel great.
是的。
Yes.
你很干净。
You're clean.
你一点病菌都没有。
You're clean of cooties.
我得说实话。
I've gotta be honest.
我感到很惊讶。
I'm shocked.
我以为我几周来一直在大量传播病毒。
I thought I've been super spreading for weeks.
我身体里就是有这种感觉。
I just felt like that in my body.
我觉得我一定伤害了别人。
Like, I must be hurting people.
现在纽约正经历一波疫情。
Well, there's a wave going through New York right now.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
很多喜剧演员都感染了。
A lot of comics got it.
大家都感染了，我不想点名。
Everybody's got I don't wanna say names.
我不知道现在流行的是什么，但天哪。
I don't know what's out, but holy shit.
我也不知道现在流行的是什么。
Don't know what's out either.
而且所有搞笑的演员都中招了。
And it was all it got all the funny ones too.
并不是说那些不入流的就没死。
It wasn't like the hacks didn't die.
你知道的，这就像真正的喜剧演员一样。
You know, it's just like real comics.
你知道，他们得到了帕特里斯。
You know, they get Patrice.
他们得到了米奇·赫德伯格。
They get Mitch Hedberg.
他们得到了吉拉尔多。
They get Giraldo.
冠状病毒也是同样的情况。
Same with corona.
嗯，你知道，那些还在活跃的人就是这样的。
Well, you know, the one those are ones that are hanging out.
是的。
Yeah.
说得对。
Good point.
有趣的人总是和有趣的人混在一起。
Funny people hang out with funny people.
是的。
Yeah.
当一个喜剧演员不再和别的喜剧演员来往时，结果从来都不会好。
That that is a like, when a comic stops hanging out with comics, never turns out well.
是的。
Yeah.
当他们逐渐与其它喜剧演员疏远的时候。
When they kinda alienate themselves from other comics.
你说得对？
You've Right?
说得对。
Good point.
他们会变得怪怪的。
They get weird.
而且我们并不在意那些丑闻之类的事情。
And we don't care about scandals or anything.
只要你有趣，我们还是会和你一起玩。
If you're funny, we'll still hang out with you.
是的。
Yeah.
我们完全不在乎。
We don't care at all.
根本没人在乎。
No one cares at all.
比如路易就曾经那样回来过。
Like, Louie was back like that.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
你知道的？
You know?
如果我见到布莱恩·考恩，我会给他一个拥抱。
If I see Brian Cowen, I give him a hug.
就是这样。
There you go.
这就像是你身处一个奇怪的小团体里，我觉得喜剧演员们总想觉得自己在某种程度上是独立的，不需要其他喜剧演员。
It's like it's when you're in that weird little group, you got a real like, I think comics wanna think that they're independent in some sort of way, that they don't need other comics.
你可以没有其他喜剧演员而生存下去，但那就像军用即食餐一样。
And you could survive without other comics, but those are, like, army issue MREs.
是的。
Yeah.
你可以靠吃这些勉强撑下去。
Like, you can kinda get by eating them.
对。
Right.
你能活着，但你真的算是在生活吗？
You can live, but you're not are you really living?
啊，这很好。
Ah, that's good.
是的。
Yeah.
你可以靠脱水食物生存。
You can survive on, like, dehydrated food.
对。
Right.
你可以活着，因为你
You can live because you're
会享受它。
gonna enjoy it.
但疫情真够糟的，因为你没法表演单口喜剧。
Well, the pandemic's a bitch because you can't do stand up.
但当你再次和那些家伙聚在一起时，你会想，哦，这就是我一直在想念的。
But when you get that moment when you're hanging out with the other guys again, you're like, oh, this is what I've been missing.
我快疯了。
I've been going crazy.
我觉得自己在公寓里像个怪人。
I felt like a weirdo in my apartment.
我最近和查佩尔在城里做了几场演出，大约三周前我和他一起做了一场。
Well, I've been doing these shows in town with Chappelle, and I did one of them with him, like, three weeks ago.
大约四周前，我和托尼·欣奇利夫在火山气体公司做了一场。
Well, I did one with Tony Hinchcliffe at the Vulcan Gas Company, like, four weeks ago.
嗯。
Mhmm.
罗恩·怀特才是最搞笑的。
And Ron White was the funniest ever.
因为以前他总说，哦，我基本上已经退休了。
Because before, he's like, oh, I'm basically retired.
我就要彻底退休了，拿着我所有的龙舌兰酒钱，好好放松一下。
I'm just gonna fucking retire, take all my tequila money, and just fucking chill out.
我要卖我的飞机。
I'm a sell my plane.
是的。
Yeah.
他还在说这些废话。
He's still talking all this shit.
然后他下台了。
And then he gets off stage.
他表演了一场已经八个月没演过的单口喜剧。
He did one set that he hadn't hadn't done stand up in eight months.
哇。
Wow.
他一下台就抓住我的肩膀。
The moment he gets off stage, he grabs me by my shoulders.
他说：咱们就这么干了。
He goes, we're fucking doing this.
好吧？
Okay?
我们回来了。
We're back.
他
He
说，管他呢，我们得做点什么。
goes, don't give a fuck what we have to do.
这必须继续下去。
This must continue.
他当时状态简直爆了。
Like, he was, like, at ten.
他当时状态达到了十分。
He was at at a ten.
这就在你体内。
It's in you.
这就像是你戒酒后，突然想：去他的。
It's like when you quit drinking, then you're like, fuck it.
今晚，我们喝酒。
Tonight, we're drinking.
就是那种感觉。
It's the same feeling.
你又开始猛灌了。
You just start chugging again.
你就会说：啊。
You're like, ah.
你把衬衫扯下来。
You rip your shirt off.
你会看起来像克赖舍尔。
You'd look like Kreischer.
你曾经戒过酒吗？
Have you ever quit drinking?
我试过大概一周。
I tried for, like, a week.
我就喜欢喝酒，而且我现在觉得自己挺擅长的。
I just I like it, and I'm I feel like I'm good at it now.
我快四十岁了。
I'm in my late thirties.
我从十三岁就开始喝酒了。
I've drank since I was 13.
我已经掌握诀窍了。
I I got it down.
我的意思是，我来自新奥尔良。
I mean, I'm from New Orleans.
你知道的。
You know?
在那儿，你喝起来就没完没了。
You you get after it out there.
是的。
Yeah.
上面是另一个世界。
It's a different world up there.
这是文化的一部分。
It's part of the culture.
但没错。
But yeah.
不。
No.
你说得对。
You're right.
喜剧，一旦你重新投入进去，你就需要它，因为我觉得我们大多数喜剧演员天生就懒。
The comedy, you need it once you get back into it because we're I think we're inherently lazy, most comics.
我们只想把脚翘起来。
We wanna put our feet up.
嗯，不是你。
Well, not you.
你可是忙着练十七种柔术，还得泡咖啡什么的。
You're doing 17 jujitsus and, you know, making coffee and stuff.
但我觉得，我们本质上是懒的，可一旦回到聚光灯下，一切就都活跃起来了。
But, like, I feel like we're inherently lazy, but you get us back in that that limelight, and it it all percolates.
是的。
Yeah.
就比如，想去做这件事。
In terms of, like, wanting to do it.
对。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
果汁值这个挤压。
Well, the the the juice is worth the squeeze.
再演一遍吧。
It's show it again.
付出总有回报。
The juice is worth the squeeze.
比如，如果你能重新找回站上舞台的状态，那种在观众面前表演的成就感，绝对值得你花精力去重新打磨段子和写作。
Like, when if you can get back into, like, stand up shape, the juice of killing in front of a crowd is so worth the effort it's gonna take to get your act back in order and write.
对。
Right.
而且真的得好好准备，必须得准备。
And and and prepare like, had to prepare.
比如，当你找到好的节奏后，上台前甚至都不用看笔记。
Like, really prepare like, when you get a good rhythm going, like, don't even really have to look at your notes before a show.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
Definitely.
如果你连续演了四晚，你就已经准备好了。
If you've been doing, like, four nights in a row, like, you're ready to go.
你已经准备好了。
You're ready to go.
作为专业人士，你可能只是快速过一遍。
You might just to be a pro, probably go over it real quick.
是的。
Yeah.
但老天，如果你六个月没演过单口喜剧，感觉就完全不同了。
But, man, when you haven't done stand up in six months, it's a different feeling.
你会反复过所有的段子。
Like, you're going over all the line.
我在周三晚上的演出前找到了一些素材。
I found shit before Wednesday night show.
我完全忘了。
I totally forgot.
是的。
Yeah.
哦，这样就更好了。
Like, oh, that makes that better.
哦，对。
Oh, yeah.
我忘了这一整件事。
I forgot this whole thing.
对。
Right.
你有没有过那种情况，会去听录音？
And you ever have that thing where you listen?
因为我回去时太紧张了，所以会听以前的段子。
Because I was so nervous going back that I would listen to old sets.
我当时就觉得，这还挺不错的。
I was like, that was pretty good.
这还不赖。
This is not bad.
这真是好内容，因为你当时完全进入状态了。
This is good stuff because you were so in the zone.
是的。
Yeah.
你当时发挥得特别好。
You were cooking.
我前几天看了我2016年的Netflix脱口秀专场。
I watched my 2016 Netflix special the other day.
我笑得不行。
I was laughing.
你在那里
There you
去吧。
go.
我都忘光了。
I forgot all sorts of it.
是的。
Yeah.
我确实不记得那些部分了，因为我故意不想去回想，就这样。
I did I don't I literally don't even remember those bits because I purposely try to just move on Sure.
明白。
Sure.
然后就把它们抛在脑后。
And abandon them.
这很有趣，因为你花了那么多小时去打磨，比如我洗澡时都会想着我的段子。
Which is so funny because you put hours and hours and so like, I'd be in the shower thinking about my act.
我觉得那段可以更好。
Like, that could be better.
这需要一个更好的标签。
That needs a better tag.
这没达到我想要的效果。
That's not hitting like I want.
然后你转向新的一个小时，所有这些就全没了。
And then you move on to a new hour, and that's just all gone.
没了。
Gone.
永远消失了。
Gone forever.
太疯狂了。
Crazy.
没了。
Gone.
而且特别快。
And real quick too.
对我来说，那是几个月之后的事了。
For me, it's like a couple months afterwards.
我已经不记得它们是怎么进行的了。
I can't remember how they go anymore.
我也是这样。
I'm the same way.
是的。
Yeah.
但你知道吗，当你上台时，那种节奏又回来了？
But what you know what you you know what you get on stage and that rhythm kinda comes back?
你会觉得，哦，我又找回节奏了。
You're like, oh, I'm in the rhythm again.
是的。
Yeah.
然后你就开始飞快地演下去了。
And then you're off and running.
嗯，我觉得有点奇怪。
Well, I felt it's weird.
我回来的第一晚感受到了节奏，但第二晚就没那么好了。
I felt the rhythm the first night I came back, but then I didn't feel it that good the second night.
第二晚一开始我有点紧张，得慢慢进入状态。
Then second night, I was a little nervous at first, and I had to get into it.
是的。
Yeah.
两场演出都进行得不错，但我的感觉不一样。
And both were both shows went well, but my feeling was different.
比如，笑声是有的，但你知道那种感觉吗？就是整个人特别顺滑？
Like, the the laughs were there, but you know that feeling where you're just greased?
对。
Yes.
对。
Yes.
润滑剂。
The lube.
是的。
Yeah.
我没觉得滑溜溜的。
I didn't feel greased.
我懂。
I get it.
表现很好，但我当时意识到了。
Working great, but I was aware okay.
然后这个，
And then this one,
然后我做了那个。
and then I did that one.
对。
Right.
一个笑话接一个笑话。
Joke to joke.
是的。
Yeah.
所有所有，就是他妈的把东西拼凑起来组装起来。
All all, like, fucking sticking it together and assembling
即兴完成。
it on the fly.
如果你一直在脑子里忙着组装，你就不可能放松又搞笑。
And you can't be loose and funny if you're assembling in your head the whole time.
当你润滑好了，你就会放松，做最真实的自己。
When you're greased, you're loose, and you're really you.
迪·查佩尔展示了我们正在做的，他有个类似闲逛的系统。
Dee Chappelle shows we're doing, he's got this, like, sort of hangout system.
他已经掌握得炉火纯青了。
He's got it down.
嗯。
Mhmm.
每个人都做了新冠检测，后台休息室播放着很棒的音乐，大家只是聚在一起，喝点东西，笑个不停。
Everybody's COVID tested, plays great music in the green room, and people are just hanging out, drinking, and laughing.
所以你真的在享受乐趣。
So you're you're having fun.
对。
Right.
对他来说，这就像他认真思考过的一种方式。
And he's it's like for for him, this is a like, he thought this through.
他说，以前上台前他会看书，然后上台表演搞笑。
He's like, I would be before a show reading a book and then go on stage and be funny.
他说，我不觉得这样感觉好。
He's like, I don't this doesn't feel good.
是的。
Yeah.
这不是正确的方法。
This isn't how to do it.
不是这样的。
Like No.
所以我们现在在后台，他在讲笑话。
So now we're in the back and he's cracking jokes.
我们在笑。
We're laughing.
我们在胡扯。
We're talking shit.
我们呢，你知道的，玩得很开心，喝了几杯，然后他直接上台，轻松自在，已经乐在其中了。
We're, you know, we're having fun, having a couple of drinks, and then boom, he goes on stage, loose as a goose, already having fun.
是的。
Yeah.
这真的很明智。
It's really wise.
这是一种明智的处理方式
It's a wise way to approach
没错。
it.
这是因为社交需要那种润滑剂。
It is what because social you need that social lube.
比如，你有没有飞过阿肯色州？下飞机后上车，直接上台，那时候你就觉得，唉。
Like, you ever fly to Arkansas, you get off the plane, you get into a car, you go right on stage, and you're like, ugh.
你们是我在这趟旅程中第一个交谈的人，已经十七个小时了。
You guys are the first people I've spoken to in Yes.
十七个小时。
Seventeen hours.
没错。
Exactly.
你必须得激活状态。
You gotta, like, kick in.
是的
Yeah.
放松、社交、和人相处得开心很好。
It's good to be loose and social and fun with people.
是的
Yeah.
这就是为什么，对我来说，我过去总是带着开场嘉宾巡演
That's why for well, for me, I used to always bring opening acts on the road
因为有
because There
你懂的。
you go.
有两个原因。
For two reasons.
第一，你想有个伴儿，有个朋友陪你一起上路。
One, you wanna hang with a guy, wanna wanna buddy come with you on road.
但第二点，你知道那个人一定会很搞笑。
But two, you know that person's gonna be funny.
是的。
Yeah.
最糟糕的是，你得坐那儿看二十分钟某人糟糕的表演，然后你心想：天哪。
Because the worst is when you have to sit there through twenty minutes of someone's terrible act, and you you're like, oh, no.
你为观众感到难过。
And you feel bad for the audience.
对。
Right.
这最糟糕了。
That's the worst.
然后我会感到很难过，觉得喜剧根本行不通。
And and then I used to feel bad, like, comedy doesn't work.
觉得喜剧不真实。
Like, comedy is not real.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
这些人讨厌极了。
These people hate it.
他们再也不会来看演出了。
They'll never come see a show again.
这根本不是喜剧。
This is not comedy.
什么才是喜剧？
This is what is comedy?
喜剧不可能是真实的。
Comedy does can't be real.
这 guy 在说话。
This guy's talking.
他什么都不会
He's nothing can
变得好笑。
be funny.
如果你仔细分析，喜剧其实相当脆弱。
Well, comedy is pretty flimsy when you really break it down.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道的？
You know?
就像一台小小的空调。
It's like one little air conditioner.
搅拌机坏了。
The blender's gone.
一切都完了。
It's all over.
是的。
Yeah.
服务员来了。
The waitress comes.
一切都结束了。
It's all over.
所以你会想，天啊。
So you're like, damn.
这就像你48岁时的勃起。
It's like a boner when you're 48.
你知道吗？
You know?
更难保持了。
It's harder to hold.
你知道吗？
You know?
语无伦次。
Stumble of words.
是的。
Yes.
那是你的手指。
That's your finger.
结束了。
It's over.
没了。
It's gone.
塞infeld说过，这就像一列火车经过时，有一节车厢不见了，你得骑着摩托车跳过去，就是那节失踪的车厢。
Seinfeld said it was like when a car train goes by, like, a car a train goes by, and one of the cars is missing and you have to jump it with a motorcycle, that one missing car.
但如果你跳得太晚，就会撞上火车。
But if you do too late, you'll hit the hit the train.
这真是个绝妙的比喻。
It's just it's such a good analogy.
是的。
Yeah.
它是个滑溜溜的小家伙。
It's a slippery little rascal.
很难抓住。
Hard to hold on to.
不过，回到放弃你整个表演这件事上，确实有点奇怪。
It is weird, though, going back to dropping your whole act.
因为说到塞infeld和八十年代的那些人，他们表演了七百年。
Because speaking of Seinfeld and eighties guys, they did their act for seven hundred years.
你知道吗？
You know?
但我们却说放弃就放弃了，而我们为此付出了那么多努力。
But, like, we just drop it, and we worked so hard on it.
这有点反社会吗？
Is that a little sociopathic?
这感觉就像那些收养狗的人，然后他们爱上了它们。
It almost feels like those people who take in dogs, and then they fall in love with them.
他们就会说，好吧。
They're like, okay.
我曾经收养过一只狗。
I've I've fostered a dog.
现在它已经准备好被一个家庭领养了。
Now it's good to go with a family.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
因为这是录下来的。
Because it's recorded.
它已经没了。
It's got it's gone.
结束了。
It's done.
它永远地流传出去了。
It's out there forever.
我想它是被录下来了。
I guess it is recorded.
这其实不是那回事。
It's not really it.
是的。
Yeah.
你说得有道理。
You got a point.
它并没有永远消失。
It's not gone forever.
它并没有消失。
It's not gone.
但它必须消失，这样你才能专注于你现在正在做的事情，因为我们的大脑对信息的容纳空间是有限的。
It's just but it has to be gone for you to concentrate on what you're doing now because we only have a certain amount of room for material in our head.
嗯。
Mhmm.
你知道吗？
You know?
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
没错。
That's true.
比如，当你有一小时的时间，你知道那种开始和中间的感觉，你不断调整，试图找到最好的结尾方式。
Like, when you got an hour and, know, you know how that feeling of the beginning and the middle and you're moving stuff around trying to find out what's the best way to end it.
当你已经掌握它时，它需要你全部的注意力。
When you have it down, like, it requires all of your attention.
当然。
Definitely.
你不可能一边忙着其他事情，一边还纠结于过去那些乱七八糟的东西，或者想着要把什么旧东西翻出来——你没那个时间。
You can't really be fucking around with some other subjects and other old shit and other things that you wanna thinking about bringing back or something like you don't have time for that.
没错。
Right.
没错。
Right.
是的。
Yeah.
但你难道没有那种高中时的朋友吗？我有一些高中朋友就是这样，我甚至从没再和他们说过话。
But don't you have friends for I have friends from high school who were like this, and I don't even I've never talked to them since.
我根本不会想起他们。
I don't even think about them.
他们也不会想起我。
They don't think about me.
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他们都有家庭。
They have families.
我觉得这有点像我的状态。
And I feel like that's kinda like my act.
你明白吗？
Do you get that?
比如，你有没有一些过去不联系的人？
Like, do you have people from your your past that you don't talk to?
有。
Yes.
但我确实也有一些过去一直保持联系的人。
But I do have people from my past that I do talk to.
哦，这样啊。
Oh, okay.
我有几个朋友，经常和我讨论生活方面的事，是的。
I have a few few friends that I'm pretty regularly discuss life with Yeah.
我从二十出头的时候就和他们做朋友了。
That I've been friends with since I was in my early twenties.
你们现在还合得来吗？
And you you still get along?
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
我的朋友汤米·小弟，致敬康涅狄格州的汤米·小弟。
My my friend Tommy Junior shout out to Tommy Junior in Connecticut.
我想我和他从24岁起就是好友了。
We've been buddies since I was 24, I think.
哇。
Wow.
这很不错。
That's pretty good.
真疯狂。
Crazy.
然后你们一见面就立刻接上话题。
And you just pick right up.
是的。
Oh, yeah.
对。
Yeah.
每次我们去纽约时，我都会见到他。
Well, I would see him every time we'd go to New York.
我们会一起打台球。
We'd play pool together.
他会来看UFC比赛。
He'd come to the UFC.
他会来看脱口秀表演。
He's come to comedy shows.
他来加州看过我。
He's come to visit me in California.
当我每年去参加UFC或每年去纽约时，这非常方便。
We it was very convenient when I was traveling every year to the UFC or every year to New York City, rather.
是的。
Yeah.
因为UFC每年都在纽约市举办活动。
Because the UFC was doing a gig in New York City every year.
在那之前，我至少每年都会去那里表演一次脱口秀。
And then before that, at least once a year, I'd come there to do stand up anywhere.
去Gotham，或者你知道的，Carolines之类的场所。
Do Gotham or, you know, Carolines or what have you.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
我总能见到他们。
I always see them.
真不错。
That's nice.
我真希望我能像那样有个妻子。
I I I kinda wish I had that with, like, a wife.
这就是我这么害怕婚姻的原因。
That's why I'm so scared of marriage.
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为你从高中到现在，或者大学到现在，变化太大了，然后你结婚了，到了62岁可能又会变一次。
Because you change so much from just high school to now or college to now, and then you get you get married, and then you change again maybe when you're 62.
然后你就和一位体型丰满的女士困在一起，完全不知道该怎么办，怎么脱身，而且你也没法再认识新人了，因为你都62岁了。
And then you're stuck with this plus sized lady, and you don't know what the hell to do and how to get out, and then you can't beat anybody new because you're 62.
这就是婚姻合同的问题。
That's the problem with the contract of marriage.
对吧？
Right?
问题就在于这是一份法律合同。
That's the problem is that it is a legal contract.
它进行得挺顺利的。
It it goes great.
非常过时了。
Very antiquated.
在很多方面确实如此。
It is in a lot of ways.
它很好地确保了这种关系不仅仅是口头承诺。
It's very good for ensuring that there's, like, there's a bond that's not just your word.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道的，这是具有法律效力的。
You know, it's legal.
所以如果你试图离开，女方至少能获得某种经济补偿。
So if you do try to leave, the woman at least has some sort of financial recourse.
在某些情况下，是男人。
In some case, the men.
时不时地，我们当中有人会把一个名字写上名单。
Every now and then, one of us, we've we put one on the board.
对。
Right.
汤姆·阿诺德是我们当中的明星。
Tom Arnold is our all star.
对吧？
Right?
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
就靠离婚赚钱的男人而言，他是史上最伟大的。
In terms of men who made money from divorces, he's the GOAT.
是的。
Yeah.
我觉得这就像一名黑人警察射杀了一名白人。
I think it's like when a black cop shoots a white guy.
我相信黑人社区里也是同样的情况。
I'm sure it's the same shit with the black community.
或者，当OJ获胜的时候，我住在黑人社区，我能听到外面的喊叫声，人们都疯了。
Or, like, when OJ won, I I I lived in a black neighborhood, and I could hear the the yelling, and people were going nuts.
是的。
Yeah.
偶尔会有一个男人赢了。
Every now and then a guy wins.
我们还知道谁从高调离婚中赚了钱，而女方拥有全部财产？
Who else do we know of that has made money off of, like, a high profile divorce where the woman had all the money?
最近有一个新案例，一位女演员刚和一个默默无闻的男人离婚，结果他赚得盆满钵满。
There's a new one that just came out with a a actress that just divorced a guy, and he was a nobody, and he's cleaning up.
但我想不起来是谁。
But I can't think of who it is.
去搜一下吧，J Mo。
Give that a goog, J Mo.
我不知道该怎么查这个。
I I I don't know how you would look that up.
但是
But
是的。
Yeah.
你怎么查这个
How do you look that
呢？
up?
有个男人靠着当红女演员老婆赚得盆满钵满。
Guy killing it with hot actress wife.
是的。
Yeah.
我不知道。
I don't know.
但那就是他？
But There it is?
不。
No.
哦，凯文·弗德林。
Oh, Kevin Federline.
对。
Yes.
哦，
Oh,
这就对了。
there you go.
不过呢？
Though?
凯文胖了。
Kevin got fat.
他决定，去他的。
Like, he decided, fuck.
我也要胖了。
I'm gonna get fat.
他以前很帅。
He was hot.
他是个型男。
He was a hunk.
英俊。
Handsome.
型男一个
Hunk of
我觉得。
I think.
燃烧的爱的肌肉男。
Hunk of burning love.
他有六块腹肌，看起来很棒。
He had a six pack and looked great.
是的。
Yeah.
性感的白人黑人（贬义）。
Hot wigger.
他现在会是什么样子？
What is that would he look like now?
我不知道。
I don't know.
没想到他
Didn't know he
搞到一些了。
got some.
非常大。
Very big.
我觉得
I think
哦，他在那儿。
Oh, there he is.
右下角。
The bottom right.
是的。
Yeah.
他是个胖乎乎的人。
He's a chubster.
他变得非常胖了。
He got very big.
不过也没那么糟。
That's not so bad, though.
没那么糟。
Not too bad.
肚子有点大。
Got a little gut there.
这可是心脏病吓人的程度。
That's heart attack scare.
哦，天哪。
Oh, Jesus.
那件基督衬衫根本不可能。
That's Christ shirt never.
我的天。
Oh my god.
他有那么胖吗？
He was that big?
你有衣服。
You got the clothing.
老兄，他
Bro, he
变大了。
got big.
那确实挺大的。
That's pretty big.
你知道，他在巨大的压力下照顾着孩子们。
You know, he's taking care of the kids under lost stress.
对。
True.
对。
True.
真有趣，当情况反转时，所有这些事都会一下子烟消云散。
It's funny how all that stuff rolls rolls out the window when it's, like, when the tables flip.
你知道，这就像是，嘿。
You know, it's like, hey.
女人需要她们的钱。
Women need their money.
然后当男人说，我需要我的钱。
And then when the guy's like, need my money.
这就像是，哦，你在干什么？
It's like, oh, what are you doing?
你可能会说，嗯，这不就是你一直做的事吗。
You're like, well, that's what you've been doing.
你知道吗？
You know?
这就像是，为什么一反转，你就生气了？
It's like, how come when it flips, now you're mad?
我是个婊子。
I'm a I'm a cunt.
你明白我在说什么吗？
You see what I'm saying?
但你有没有明白你自己在说什么？
But do see what you're saying.
我们其实没必要深究这个。
Wanna we don't have to get into it.
这咖啡真不错。
This is great coffee.
你觉得我的意思是，他们只是扮演了非传统的角色吗？
Do you think that I mean, it's just they're nontraditional roles.
对吧？
Right?
当一个女人表现得非常出色并赚到钱时，大家都会理解，更多的女性曾被男人伤害过。
And when a woman is killing it and she's making that money, there's an understanding that more women have been fucked over by men.
好的。
Okay.
嗯，那大概是真的。
Well, that that probably true.
确实是。
It is.
这必须是这样的。
It's it has to be.
殴打和这种现象看起来很自然。
The beatings and the It seems natural.
对。
Right.
对。
Right.
当你仔细想想，女人赚了钱，没错。
When you think about it, like, the woman gets the money, like, yep.
是的。
Yeah.
看起来很自然。
Seems natural.
但如果
But if
你想想男人拿到钱，你会觉得：什么？
you think about the man gets the money, like, you're like, what?
他为什么想要钱？
Why does he want the money?
感觉不对劲。
It doesn't feel right.
对。
Right.
感觉
Feels
不对。
wrong.
喜剧之所以这么棒，是因为这些刻板印象已经深深印在人们心里。
Which is so cool about comedy because those things are imprinted in people.
所以当你讲错笑话时，比如讲一个胖子的笑话。
So when you make a joke the wrong way, you make a fat guy joke.
讲一个胖女人的笑话。
Make a fat lady joke.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
对。
Right.
观众会告诉你这是不对的。
And the audience will tell you that.
所以所有这些政治正确、所有推文、所有胡扯，你尽管一天到晚跟我说这些，但我这儿就有一个现成的焦点小组。
And so all the PC, all the tweets, all the bullshit, you can tell me this shit all day, but I got a focus group right here.
老兄，我
Dude, I
我保存了一个关于身体积极的梗，是有人想为有肚子的男性推广的。
saved a body positivity meme that someone tried to get out there a for men with guts.
哦，是的。
Oh, yeah.
它感觉就像一个胖男人。
It was it felt like a fat man.
你的身体很美。
Your your body's beautiful.
对。
Right.
快滚吧。
Like like, get the fuck out of here.
他们是在尝试这么做。
They were trying it.
但你
But you
知道这不会奏效。
know this is not gonna work.
这不会奏效？
It's not gonna work?
这不会奏效。
This is not gonna work.
是的。
Yeah.
它只对女性有效。
It only works on females.
确实如此。
It's true.
确实如此。
It's true.
大就是美。
Big is beautiful.
这从来就不是关于克里斯·克里斯蒂。
It's never about Chris Christie.
天啊。
Jesus.
你知道，这其实是关于莉娜·邓纳姆或者别的什么人。
You know, it's about Lena Dunham or whoever the fuck.
没错。
Exactly.
嗯，你知道，那种感觉是她们从其他女性那里获得的支持感。
Well, there's you know, it's it's and it the feeling that they're getting from this is a supportive feeling from other females.
男人，对吧。
Men Right.
男人永远不会因为你是个胖婊子而支持你。
Would never support you for being a fat fuck.
绝不可能。
Never.
绝不可能。
Never.
绝不可能。
Never.
他们从来不会说，是啊，兄弟。
They're never like, yeah, bro.
管他呢，老兄？
Who cares, man?
你有啤酒肚的样子真棒。
You look awesome with your fat gut.
就像，绝不可能。
Like, never.
这实际上更健康。
Which is actually healthier.
我的意思是，一开始可能更刻薄一点，但至少我们是诚实的。
I mean, it's a little meaner out of the gate, but at least we're being honest.
我们保持真实。
We're keeping it real.
是的。
Yeah.
或者说是不让他们逃避责任。
Or would not letting them get away with something.
对。
Yeah.
就是这样。
There you go.
我的意思就是我说的这个。
I mean That's what I'm saying.
你的朋友，如果他们真的爱你，就不会让你这样下去。
Your friends, if they love you, they're not gonna let you get away with that.
他们说：兄弟，你胖得离谱。
They're like, bro, you are fat as fuck.
是的。
Yeah.
而你却说：没有啊。
And you're like, no.
真的吗？
Really?
你看你这样子。
Like, look at you.
对。
Yeah.
这是一种友好的提醒。
And that's a friendly thing.
没错。
Yes.
你知道吗，如果我有个胖儿子，而新冠正在流行，我会说，伙计。
You know, like, if I had a fat son and corona was hitting, I would be like, hey, man.
我不在乎你长什么样。
Like, I don't care what you look like.
你可以做你自己的事，想吃多少巧克力都行，但我担心你会因为胖而更容易感染新冠。
You can do your thing and eat all the chocolate you want, but I'm worried you'll get hit with the COVID more because you're fat.
而且你确实会。
And you will.
而且你确实会。
And you will.
从统计学上讲。
Statistically.
然后人们会说，嘿。
And then people are like, hey.
你不能这样跟他说话。
You can't talk to him like that.
我就在担心我儿子。
That's I'm like, I'm worried about my son.
去你的。
Fuck you.
他可能会死。
He could die.
如果是女性，你就是在身材羞辱。
If it's if it's a woman, you'd be body shaming.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但当他们试图对男性进行身材羞辱时，这种说法就站不住脚了。
But when they try body shaming they try to say it's body shaming on a man, it doesn't really stick.
对。
Right.
确实如此。
It doesn't.
说不通。
It doesn't stick.
说不通。
It doesn't stick.
说不通。
Doesn't stick.
是的。
Yeah.
这里到底发生了什么？
What's going on here?
凯莉·克拉克森的前夫。
Kelly Clarkson's ex.
就是他。
That was the one.
就是他。
That was the one.
布兰登·布莱克斯托克要求每月支付六位数的款项。
Brandon Blackstock seeking 6 figure monthly payments.
砰砰。
Pow pow.
哇。
Wow.
六位数。
6 figures.
他们结婚多久了？
How long were they married?
他想要每年520万美元。
He wants 5,200,000.0 a year.
哦，天哪。
Oh, damn.
一年。
A year.
他有
He's got
一年。
A year.
他还要求克拉克森支付200万美元的律师费。
He also requested Clarkson cover $2,000,000 in attorney's fees.
天啊。
Oh my god.
哇。
Wow.
天啊。
Oh my god.
这太疯狂了。
That's insane.
他赚翻了。
He's killing it.
这太疯狂了。
That's insane.
布莱克的鸭子。
Black's duck.
但关键是。
But here's the thing.
区别在于
The difference
美国鸭子。
American duck.
有很大的区别。
There's a great difference.
七年婚姻。
Seven year marriage.
这很棒。
That's great.
一年内。
In a year.
他有在照顾孩子吗？
Here's the is he taking care of the children?
是的。
Uh-huh.
他们一起有孩子吗？
Do they have children together?
这才是关键问题。
That is the question.
4.36美元中的135美分是子女抚养费。
A 135 of the $4.36 was for child support.
他需要从她那里获得子女抚养费。
He needs child support money from her.
除了3美元1角的配偶赡养费，他可能经常在路上。
On top of the $3.00 1 and spouse Probably on the road a lot.
你知道的吧？
You know?
她是个歌手。
She's a singer.
他是不是当了她的经纪人之类的？
Was he, like, the manager or some shit?
是那种类型的协议吗？
Was it one of those deals?
因为那种协议真的会变得很复杂。
Because those deals get real tricky.
嗯。
Mhmm.
当男人成为经纪人时，女人就很难摆脱这个经纪人了。
When the the man becomes the manager, and that's very difficult for the woman to get away from the manager.
这就像是
That's like
在情侣关系中，比如歌手和女朋友，或者夫妻之间，是的。
in boyfriend girlfriend deals with girlfriends, a singer, or in husband wife when Yeah.
或者父亲。
Or the dad.
谷歌说他是美国的一名经纪人。
Google says he is an American talent manager.
哦。
Oh.
原来如此。
There you go.
你叫他贝蒂。
You called him, Betty.
那些混蛋或者韦斯利，那些数字，肯定有问题。
There was any question that some of those motherfuckers or Weasley, those numbers
是的。
Yeah.
给你看看？
Show you?
是的。
Yeah.
当然。
Definitely.
只是为了提出这个要求。
To just to request that.
天啊。
Oh my god.
你要多少？
You want how much?
我知道。
I know.
所有那些管理，乔·杰克逊是个疯子，我觉得杰西卡·辛普森的爸爸也很怪异。
All that management, Joe Jackson was a psycho, and I think Jessica Simpson's dad was a real weirdo.
他从未获得合法担任经纪人的执照，根据
He never obtained a license to legally operate as a talent agent according to
当然没有。
Of course not.
他和客户有染。
He was fucking the client.
他没必要那样做。
He didn't have to.
是的。
Yeah.
就是这样。
There you go.
对吧？
Right?
这很尴尬。
That's awkward.
你嫁给了客户。
You're married to the client.
你不需要执照。
You don't need a license.
不过，她为他的公司工作了十三年。
She was with his company for thirteen years, though.
该死。
Damn.
这太令人震惊了。
That's pretty blinding.
是他们倒霉的日子。
Time that they were unlucky number.
随便吧。
Whatever.
那么，有个问题。
Well, then there's a question.
对吧？
Right?
比如，当一家管理公司和艺人结合时，艺人的成功有多少归功于管理，又有多少是因为艺人本身有才华？
Like, when a a management company and talent are together, how much of the talent success is due to the management, and how much of the talent success is due just to the person being talented?
嗯。
Mhmm.
这能量化吗？
And is it quantifiable?
现在我可以谈谈了，因为我从当脱口秀新人时就一直用同一个经纪人。
Now this is where I could speak because I have the same manager that I had when I was an open mic comedian.
哇。
Wow.
这很罕见。
That's rare.
是的。
Oh, yeah.
老兄，我见过苏斯曼，那时候我大概是24岁。
Dude, I met Sussman, and I was I think I was 24.
我当时大概是23或24岁，表现得很糟糕。
I was, like, 23 or 24, and I was terrible.
我只是个开放麦演员。
I was an open micer.
是的。
Yeah.
当时在开豪华轿车。
Was driving a limo.
我的意思是，我确实有几段不错的笑话。
I mean but I had a few good jokes.
我偶尔能炸场，你知道的，能抓住好时机，确实能踩准节奏。
I could kill, like, occasionally, you know, catch a I could catch a good wave Sure.
当我放松的时候。
When I was loose.
他随机来到波士顿，想找一些喜剧演员。
And just randomly, he was in Boston looking for comedians.
他安排了一系列会面，去看这些本地头牌演员的现场表演。
And he had set up a bunch of meetings to see all these different headliners, local headliners on stage.
我不知道他来了。
And I didn't know he was there.
我根本不知道发生了什么事。
I didn't know anything was going on.
我当时开林肯轿车，于是打电话给老板问了问。
I was driving limos, and I called the owner up and I asked him.
我说，我有个搞笑的点子。
I said, I had a funny idea.
我今晚能讲五分钟吗？
Could I do five minutes tonight?
因为他已经给我安排了一些表演时段，我还主持了一些演出。
Because he was already giving me some spots and I was emceeing some shows.
我说，我有个段子。
I go, I got this bit.
我觉得这个段子能成。
I think it I think it's gonna work.
我觉得我有点东西。
I think I got something.
于是我上去就用它开场了。
And I went up and I opened with it.
我记得当时确实逗笑了观众。
I remember it did get a laugh.
什么？
What?
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我当时想，我忘了。
I was like, I forgot.
我真希望能记得那段内容，但那确实是一段有效的段子。
I wish I could remember the bit, but it was a bit that actually worked.
我当时想，对。
I was like, yes.
这是真的。
It's real.
是的。
Yeah.
然后我变得非常放松，接着讲了一些老段子。
And then I was real loose, and then I went into some of old stuff.
我下台后，有个家伙像电影里那样递给我一张名片。
And I got off stage, and this guy handed me a business card like a fucking movie.
哇。
Wow.
八十年代，老兄。
The eighties, man.
他当时说：‘我是经纪人，我很想和你聊聊，看看你多演几场。’
It was like he goes, I'm a manager, and I'd I'd love to to talk to you and see you do more sets.
是的。
Yeah.
第二天晚上，我就在街对面的另一个地方演了一场。
And I did one next door across the street, like, the next night.
然后大概两周后，我去纽约，为他在纽约的几个场次表演了。
And then I went to New York, like, maybe two weeks later and did a bunch of sets for him in New York at
天哪。
Jeez.
Catch a Rising Star。
Catch a rising star.
然后你一眨眼，就住在纽约了。
And then next thing you know, was living in New York.
哇。
Wow.
你和他上过床吗？
Did you fuck him?
没有。
No.
好吧。
Alright.
直到今天还是这样。
Still to this day.
从来没和他上过床
Never fucked
他。
him.
这简直闻所未闻。
That's that's unheard of.
在这种情况下，那个家伙和我的另一位经理钱德拉，对我的成功至关重要。
So with that kind of a situation, like, that guy is and and Chandra, my other manager, they're responsible for a giant part of my success.
是的。
Yeah.
因为我非常了解他们，和他们相处了这么久。
Because I I know them so well, and I've been with them so much.
我信任他们，也爱他们。
And I trust them, and I love them.
我们之间不仅有工作关系，还建立了友谊。
And it's like, we have a we have a friendship as well as, like, a working relationship.
所以在这种情况下，是的，就像有些人不愿意把钱给他们的经理一样。
So in that case, yeah, they like, it's, you know, like, some people don't like giving the money to their managers.
对。
Yeah.
这太糟了。
It sucks.
这有点让他们不爽。
It kinda bugs them.
我讨厌这样。
I hate it.
给这个该死的家伙一点份额。
Give this fucking guy a piece.
尤其是当他们没为你争取到的时候。
Especially when they don't get it for you.
是的。
Yeah.
如果他们拿到了，但我在努力争取。
If they get it, here, but I have at it.
但我完全没有这种感觉。
But I don't have that feeling at all.
对我来说，这似乎是唯一有效的方式。
For me, it's like that's the only way it it works.
他们在所有艰难时刻都支持你。
And they supported you in all, like, the the tough times.
哦，那太好了。
Oh, that's great.
所有那些疯狂的事。
All the wackiness.
他们，我的意思是，没人觉得这个该死的播客能有什么出息。
And they I mean, none of them thought the fucking podcast was ever gonna be anything.
没人这么想过。
No one did.
十年前做播客简直是疯了。
Podcasting ten years ago was a Joe.
我的经纪人说，你疯了吗？
My manager, what are you crazy?
那里面没有钱。
There's there's no money in that.
去参加法隆的节目吧。
Go do Fallon.
我觉得，那才1100美元，而且没人看。
I'm like, that's $1,100, and nobody watches it.
我宁愿做这个，然后打造一些东西。
I'd rather do this and build something.
如果你已经有其他来源的钱，你就会意识到互联网内容有一种乐趣和自由。
Well, if you have money already, like, from other stuff and other sources, you recognize that there's a fun and a freedom to Internet shit.
是的。
Yeah.
你可以随便做点什么，但根本没人看。
Where you could just kinda like but no one was watching.
对。
Right.
所以我们做这些的时候，你去看看早期的那些，根本没怎么考虑过它们有多有趣。
So when we were doing it, like, you go watch the early ones, there's very little thought process to, like, how entertaining it is.
你总得从某个地方开始。
Well, you gotta start somewhere.
是的。
Yeah.
我们只是在瞎玩。
It's we're just fucking around.
对。
Yeah.
你知道的？
You know?
就是图个自己开心。
Like, for our own fun.
对。
Right.
其中一些会很有趣，另一些则不会。
And some of it's gonna be enjoyable and some of it's not.
然后你懂的？
And then you know?
但有趣的是，你之前请来的那些人，我重新听了一些非常早期的节目。
But it's funny because the guys you had on then, I relistened to some really old ones.
我有一次开车旅行，就想，哦，放一下罗根第18期之类的吧。
I was, like, on a road trip, and I was like, oh, let's throw this on Rogan number 18 or whatever.
那些人现在都挺出名了，但当时还没什么名气，听他们那时候的样子挺有意思的。
And it's it's guys who are kinda big now but weren't then, and it's fun to hear them.
早期的时候他们特别放松，因为你一无所有。
They're way more loosey goosey in the early days because you you had nothing.
你只是更做自己，那时候你还不是个生意。
You were just more yourself, and you didn't have you weren't a business yet.
是的。
Yeah.
你知道的？
You know?
大家都担心会遭到负面反应。
That's what everybody's worried about the blowback
我知道。
I know.
只是一个喜剧演员而已。
Just being a comic.
他们担心的是，说错话或开错玩笑会引发负面回应。
They're worried about, you know, the negative response from saying the wrong thing
对。
Right.
开错玩笑。
And joking about the wrong thing.
是的。
Yep.
我只是专门讲那些不该讲的事，因为我想要找太多东西来探讨。
I just joke about all the wrong things just because I wanna have too many things to find.
如果我们不再讲那些不该讲的事，那么讲这些事的想法就会消失。
If we don't keep joking about the wrong things, then the idea of joking about the wrong things will go away.
我同意。
I agree.
如果你看昆汀·塔伦蒂诺的电影，里面一个女人的脑子被砸进壁炉架上。
If you see Quentin Quentin Tarantino as a movie where a woman gets her fucking brains bashed into a fireplace mantelpiece.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yeah.
你对这个会生气吗，还是觉得这是电影的一部分？
Do you do you get mad at that, or do you think that's part of the film?
你觉得这是在宣扬暴力吗？
Do you think that this is endorsing violence?
不。
No.
你觉得这是一种奇怪的转折
You think it's a kind of weird arc
是的。
Yeah.
这种疯狂的事情正在发生。
Where this craziness is happening.
但不知为什么，因为单口喜剧演员是独自站在舞台上，并且这些内容是他们自己写的，他们却没有得到同样的宽容。
But for whatever reason, because the stand up is on stage by themselves and they wrote this by themselves, they're not given that same sort of leeway.
是的。
Yeah.
你不能随便胡说八道一些事情，说些你其实并不真这么想、但又极端冒犯、本不该说出口的话。
Like, you can't just fuck around about something and say something you don't really mean, but it's outrageous and you're not supposed to say it.
当然。
Sure.
而这就是为什么它好笑的原因，因为你说了本不该说的东西。
And you that's the reason why it's funny is because you're saying something you're not supposed to say.
我同意，因为电影本身是有层次的。
I agree because also there's layers to a movie.
但对于喜剧演员，你就可以直接冲着他们喊。
With a comic, you can just yell at you.
我可以直接冲着马克·诺曼德喊。
I can just yell at Mark Normand.
你知道的？
You know?
他确实说了这话。
He he said this.
我有他这段视频。
I have a clip of him.
看看这个混蛋，居然说这种话，关于那些有特殊需求的唐氏综合征孩子之类的。
Look at this piece of shit saying this about, you know, special needs Downsy kids or whatever.
对。
Right.
但说到昆汀导演的时候。
But then with the with the with the Tarantino, director.
他是一个电影制作人。
It's a filmmaker.
有演员参与，而且他本身也是编剧。
There's actors involved, and he had a he was a writer.
所以有这么多不同的方面，甚至说说饶舌音乐。
So there's so many different Even rap music.
是的。
Yeah.
饶舌音乐中有很多内容在谈论暴力、枪击和抢劫，而我们却跟着唱。
Rap music there's a lot of rap music that's talking about violence and shooting people and robbing people, and we sing along.
是的。
Yeah.
我们跟着唱，就像是某人一生中最糟糕的一天。
We sing along to, like, the worst day of someone's life.
这节奏太棒了。
It's a great beat.
这影响深远。
It goes a long way.
我的意思是，想想看，把战利品给我。
I mean, think about, give me the loot.
把战利品给我。
Give me the loot.
我们跟着唱这首歌。
That's a we sing we sing along to that song.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我不听亚洲音乐。
I don't listen to Asian music.
不是这样的。
It's not.
那是个大问题。
That's a biggie.
哦，好吧。
Oh, okay.
但他们都在说一些关于女性的疯狂言论，而女性还在唱这些歌。
But but also they're saying crazy shit about women, and women are singing it.
门在打着四四拍。
Door waving the four four.
你听到的全是papa。
All you heard was papa.
别再打我了。
Don't hit me no more.
那是一首歌
That's a song
那是文化挪用。
That's cultural appropriation.
那是一首关于你用枪指着别人时殴打他们的歌。
That's a song about beating someone up when you're holding a gun to them.
是的。
Yeah.
这种事很多。
There's a lot of that.
大家都说，乔。
Everybody's like, Joe.
哦，对。
Oh, yeah.
我喜欢。
I love it.
我爱这首歌。
I love it.
我爱这首歌。
I love that song.
我也喜欢。
It too.
当我们飞在天上时，把你的视线打开。
Unmute your eye while we're in the sky.
有很多这样的东西，比如女性在俱乐部里唱这些歌，而你知道他唱的是什么意思。
There's all kinds of stuff that, like, women are, like, singing it at the club, and you're like, you know what he's saying.
对吧？
Right?
没错。
Right.
但现在的这些奇怪规矩真是这样。
But, yeah, with this weird rules today.
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