#2104 - 克里斯·威廉姆森

不是她？

It's not her?

是她，所以可能是别人。

Her, so it might be someone someone else.

别人。

Else.

一共有多少个？

How many of them were there?

当时有多少位年轻知名的女演员？

How many of them young famous girl actors were there?

其中有多少人发展得不错？

How many of them came out great?

零个？

Zero?

情况参差不齐。

It's a mixed bag.

布兰妮·斯皮尔斯还在成长中。

Britney Spears is a work in progress.

我不认为孩子应该在全世界面前成长。

I do not think children should be developing in front of the world.

我觉得这是巨大的压力。

I think that's an insane amount of pressure.

我觉得在全世界面前成名是巨大的压力。

I think becoming famous in front of the world is an insane amount of pressure.

从小就在全世界面前成长，这是无法承受的。

Becoming a child and as you're growing up, you're in front of the world, that's not manageable.

就像没有人是这样设计的。

Like, that you're no one's designed like that.

你会把硬件搞崩溃的。

You're gonna blow the hardware.

我有个想法，我们总是听到童星的问题。

I had this idea about we always hear the problems of child stars.

麦考利·卡尔金、布兰妮·斯皮尔斯，太早成名了。

Macaulay Culkin, Britney Spears, too much fame, too young.

我并不反对这样的想法：天啊，这个人几乎从未体验过没有崇拜、关注、聚焦和审视的世界。

And I don't disagree that thinking about, oh my god, this person's basically never known the world without adoration and attention and focus and scrutiny and all that stuff.

对。

Right.

但有一个非常有趣的问题是，如果你是一位加拿大心理学家，一直在某所大学的尘封角落里默默工作，会怎么样

But there's a really interesting question about what happens if you're a, you know, let's say, for example, Canadian psychologist who's been working away in the dusty annals of some university for

一段时间。

a while.

很好。

Swell.

然后毫无预兆地，你被推到了聚光灯下，接着这位秃头的MMA评论员把你从默默无闻中拽了出来，现在你成了全球最受关注的人之一。

And out of nowhere, you get thrust into the limelight, and then this bald MMA commentator plucks you out of obscurity, and now you're one of the most talked about people on the planet.

是的。

Yeah.

这里有趣的是，作为孩子，没错，你并不知道世界原本是什么样子。

The interesting thing here is, as the child, yes, you didn't know what the world was like before.

我理解这可能会让人不安。

I understand that can be disquieting.

但当你已经形成自我认知之后呢？

But what about when you had a sense of self?

对。

Right.

当你以为自己了解你是谁、你在世界中的位置，以及你在地位层级中的位置，就像威尔那样时，又该如何呢？

What about when you thought you knew who you were and your place in the world and your place in the status hierarchy as Will would stay?

是的。

Yeah.

那又怎么样呢？

What about that?

然后你突然被从锚点上扯开，漂浮在太空中，国际空间站从你身边掠过，而你正

And then you just get ripped from your moorings, and you're just out in space, and the ISS is going past you, and you're

你肯定会犯一些错误。

You're certainly gonna make some mistakes.

这是不可避免的。

There's no way around it.

你以前从未管理过这些水域。

You've never managed those waters before.

如果你第一次坐上筏子，就要穿越激流，很可能就会掉进水里。

If you just get in a a raft for the first time and you're going down white waters to navigate, you're probably gonna fall in.

你可能根本不擅长这个。

Like, you're probably not good at this.

如果加速度也很快的话。

If the acceleration is quick as well.

是的。

Yeah.

如果你在皮划艇里，撞上岩石，很可能就会掉进水里。

If you you're in a kayak and, you know, you're hitting rocks, you're probably gonna fall in.

你根本不知道自己在干什么。

You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

但一旦你弄清楚了该怎么做，就能逐渐达到某种平衡状态。

But once you figure out what you're doing, then you can kinda achieve some sort of level of balance.

但对他来说，我认为很多情况都被苯二氮䓬类药物加剧了。

But for him, I think a lot of it was exacerbated by, the benzodiazepine thing.

所以他一直在服用抗焦虑药物。

So he was taking antianxiety medication.

他不清楚当时医生开这种药时，它的成瘾性有多强，以及停药后会有什么后果。

He didn't understand when it was prescribed to him how addictive it was and what the consequences were of getting off of it.

他经常提到这件事，我觉得他病了一年多。

And he talks about it a lot, and I think he was sick for over a year.

我相当确定，有不少精神科医生对开具这种药物超过几天持谨慎态度。

I'm pretty sure that you're there's a number of psychiatrists that are hesitant about prescribing that for more than a couple of days.

而乔丹却连续服用了好几个月。

And Jordan was on it for months and months and months.

即使只吃几天，你也像是在跟死亡接吻。

It seems like even for a couple of days, you're like, you're just kissing death.

是的。

Yeah.

我只是想亲吻你的死亡。

I just wanna kiss you death.

你有没有看过那个叫 mugshorties 的 Instagram 账号？

Have you seen have you seen the Instagram account mugshorties?

没有。

No.

哦。

Oh.

那是什么？

What is it?

我的天。

My god.

这是互联网上最棒的东西之一。

This is one of the greatest things on the Internet.

我简直不敢相信我能教你认识mugshorties。

I can't believe I get to teach you about mugshorties.

来吧，J Mo。

Come on, J Mo.

我们开始吧。

Let's do this.

是的

Yeah.

这是一个有趣的账号。

This is a fun account.

这是些被带去接受询问的女性的逮捕照片。

So it's images, mugshots of girls that have been taken in to for questioning.

所以顶部的描述里会写明她们被指控的罪名。

So it'll say in the top, in the in the description what they've been charged for.

看看下面的评论。

Look at the look at the the comment below.

她酒后驾车。

She's driving me while intoxicated.

法官大人，我们受她影响了。

Your honor, we're under her influence.

她的眼睛令人着迷。

Her eyes are intoxicating.

法官大人，我觉得您喝酒了。

Your honor, I think you've been drinking.

继续。

Keep going.

天哪。

Oh my god.

太棒了。

It's amazing.

它们都很有趣。

They're very funny.

那是我的情人。

There's my Valentine.

哦，原来都是搞笑的评论。

Oh, so they're all funny comments.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

太好了。

That's great.

那些家伙就是说，我他妈要

Dudes that are just like, I'll fucking

是的。

Yeah.

但他们似乎在讲一些有趣的笑话。

But they seem to be making funny jokes.

不过，这好像挺搞笑的。

It seems to be funny, though.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

那很有趣。

That's fun.

它叫什么？

What is it called?

逮捕照。

Mugshot.

肖蒂？

Shaughties?

肖蒂，s h a w t y s。

Shaughties, s h a w t y s.

肖蒂，但就是肖蒂。

Shaughties, but shaughties.

O w y，持有大麻和持有吸毒用具。

O w y, possession of marijuana and possession of paraphernalia.

那是我的大麻专员。

It was my weed officer.

还有另一个。

There's another one.

那是持有可卡因，有人回复说那是药用的。

It was like possession of cocaine, and someone replied and said, it was medicinal.

我戴着耳机时，面容识别就不认我是我了。

My face ID doesn't wanna believe that it's me with this headphone on.

这很奇怪。

It's odd.

我会觉得，你知道的，这会是个特别棒的地方来测试笑话，作为喜剧演员，是的。

I would think that, you know, that would be, like, a really good place to test jokes, you know, as a comic, like Yeah.

用通缉照。

With mugshots.

这就像一个很有趣的练习，试着去想出

It's like a really fun exercise just to try to find come up

挺有趣的。

some fun.

你为什么会有这个。

Why You've got Yeah.

他们的样子，以及关于标题的简短描述。

The way that they look, and you've got a short description about the caption.

谁最适合做这个呢？是托尼·欣奇利夫。

You know who would excel at that is Tony Hinchcliffe.

托尼·欣奇利夫最适合做这个。

Tony Hinchcliffe would excel at that.

roast先生。

Mister Roast.

他在这方面最拿手。

He's the best at that.

没人比他更强了。

There's no one better.

没有人比他更擅长从刚刚发生的可怕事情中找出幽默之处。

There's no one better at, like, finding something funny about some horrible aspect of what just happened.

吉米·卡尓也很不错。

Jimmy Carr's pretty good.

是的。

Yes.

是的。

Yes.

他在这方面非常出色。

He's very good at it.

对。

Yeah.

他们俩可以一较高下。

The two of them could duke it out.

那会非常有趣。

It'd be a lot of fun.

我觉得他们可能进行过一场吐槽对决。

I think they might have done like a roast battle.

他们确实做过。

They have.

是的，没错。

Have they that's right.

他们确实做过。

They have.

在电视上。

On TV.

哇哦。

Wow.

那就像一个不可阻挡的物体撞上了一个不可移动的力。

That would be like a unstoppable object in an immovable force.

托尼上场了，但他们实在太快了。

Tony comes up, but then they're so fast.

你简直无法相信他们不是提前写好的。

You can't believe they're not scripted.

他的大脑总是这样，哦，但他是24小时不间断地这样。

Like, his brain just oh, but it's that it's like that twenty four seven.

在休息室里，他总是对每件事都来个双关语。

Like, in the green room, he's always, like, got puns for everything.

我只是觉得他的大脑总是立刻冒出一个奇怪的笑话。

It's just I don't his mind just works in a really weird joke right away.

但马克·诺曼也是这样的。

But Mark Norman's the same.

对吧？

Right?

他就是停不下来。

He just can't not do it.

根本停不下来。

Cannot do it.

非常相似。

Very similar.

我的意思是，马克甚至更极端。

Very I mean, Mark's even more extreme.

是的。

Yeah.

对他来说这永不停歇。

It's unrelenting with him.

天哪。

Fucking hell.

马克一谈到奇怪的话题就会紧张。

Mark can't he, like he gets panicky if we're talking about something weird.

他会说，他们会觉得这很无聊。

Like, he'll he he goes, I think they're gonna think it's boring.

他的意图就像，太短暂了。

Like, his intentions fan is, like, it's so short.

我觉得他从来不会看纪录片。

Like, I don't think he ever watches a documentary.

我觉得他……我不知道。

I think he's I don't know.

他就总是忙个不停。

It's just he's always going.

我觉得我曾经给他发过一个数据，说美国77%的18到24岁年轻人因为超重或心理、药物问题而无法参军。

I think I'd I'd texted him a stat about seventy seven percent of eighteen to twenty four year olds in The US are ineligible to join the military because of being overweight or mental or drug problems.

他却只回复了‘海豹六队’。

And he just replied with meal team six.

他二十四小时都是这样。

That's him twenty four seven.

他的大脑就是这么运作的。

That's just how his brain works.

他在这方面太厉害了。

He's so good at it.

太擅长了。

So good at it.

这是一种非凡的人格魅力。

It's a it's a marvel of personality.

比如，当我们保护公园的时候，他就像是——你知道的，就像做一道美味的炖菜，光有肉可不行。

Like, when when we do protect our parks, he's just like a he's like the he's like a special you know, like, you have if you're gonna make a really good stew, it's not just meat.

你懂的？

You know?

你还得放胡萝卜。

You want carrots in there.

还得放土豆。

You want potatoes.

还得放香料。

You want spices.

他就像是关键的香料。

Like, he's a critical spice.

他是个大胡萝卜。

He's a big carrot.

他是让这道菜美味无比的关键成分。

He's something that's very important to that recipe being delicious.

我的天，太棒了，老兄。

Like, fucking phenomenal, dude.

他本人也是个特别好的人。

He's such a good guy too.

在《黑爵士》里，罗温·艾金森，这位著名的英国喜剧演员，曾说过，你知道你的那些桥段，对吧？

There's this idea about in Blackadder, Rowan Atkinson, this famous British comedy, he was saying, you know your bits, don't you?

其中一个演员对他这么说。

One of the actors says to him.

他说，这不一样。

And he says, this is different.

这是即兴的，叫做机智。

It's spontaneous, and it's called wit.

我始终记得，提前准备好并精心构建的内容，与能够随时应对各种情况——无论是洞见、辩论、论证还是分析——这种能力之间是有区别的。

And I just always stuck in my mind that there's a difference between having prepared and well constructed stuff in advance and then being able to no matter what it is, whether it's insights, whether it's debate, whether it's argumentation, whether it's analysis, all of those things, the ability for someone to just turn it on like that.

你指的是其中的语言交锋部分。

You've the verbal sparring aspect of it.

有些人不喜欢这种风格，也有些喜剧演员并不擅长这方面。

Some people don't like that, and then there's some comics that aren't aren't really good at that.

他们不擅长应对观众，或者类似的事情。

They're not good at, like, dealing with audience members or anything like that.

他们不擅长回答问题，但他们擅长独自沉思，深入探讨某个话题的讽刺层面，然后写出非常出色的内容。

They're not good at answering questions, But they're they're good at, like, long takes on things where they sit alone in contemplation and go over some ironic aspect of a topic, and then they write out really good material about it.

这同样非常有价值。

It's still super valid.

并没有谁比谁更好，只是不同性格的人会被吸引去构建单口喜剧表演的不同方式。

It's like there's no one that's better than the other, but it's there's different personalities that get attracted to the idea of constructing a stand up comedy routine.

对于某些性格的人来说，他们并不是那种喜欢冲突的性格，对。

And for some personalities, they're not like a conflict personality or, yeah.

嗯，你就是这样的人。

Well, you're a this.

他们不是那种男生或女生。

They're not that guy or that girl.

他们是那种对某个话题感到困扰的人，不管是气候变化，还是别的什么，他们就会一直琢磨。

They're someone who gets some subject bothersome, whatever it is, climate change, whatever it is, and they just sit on it.

然后他们会想：这是怎么回事？

And they're like, what?

接着他们会独处。

And then they'll be alone.

他们会坐在电脑前。

They'll be in front of the computer.

他们会拿出笔记本。

They'll get a notebook out.

有时候他们会一连几天反复琢磨，来回推敲，不断调整。

They just sit on it for fucking days sometimes, bounce it around back and forth, twist it around.

从这个角度开始。

Start it from this way.

从后往前开始。

Start it from start it from the back.

倒回去。

Back it up.

先从结论入手，然后用一种搞笑的方式解释你的结论。

Go from the conclusion first, and then explain your conclusion in a hilarious way.

看看这样会不会更好。

See if it works better that way.

你会这么做，而这种思维方式能创造出精彩的段子。

And you you'll you'll do that, and then that type of comic, like that mindset can create great bits.

他们是出色的喜剧演员，只是不喜欢面对观众。

They're great comics, but they just don't like to do the audience thing.

但这也无所谓。

But that's okay too.

就像你不能要求别人改变性格，但托尼这个人，他可是言辞犀利的人。

It's like, you you can't ask someone to change their personality, but Tony is, like, he's a razor tongued man.

如果你跟托尼说闲话，他肯定会狠狠收拾你。

If you talk shit to Tony, he's good he's gonna he's gonna fuck you up.

与死亡共舞。

Dancing with death.

是的。

Yeah.

我的意思是，他根本一点都不魁梧，可他一旦反击起来，反而更加残酷。

I mean, he's and he's not physically imposing whatsoever, so it makes it even more brutal when he comes after you.

迈克尔·马利斯也是这样。

The same with Michael Malice.

对。

Yes.

对。

Yes.

但迈克尔曾经告诉我，他说如果我不是五英尺七英寸高，根本不可能说出我一半的话而不受惩罚。

But Michael once told me, he said I couldn't get away with half of the shit that I say if I wasn't five foot seven.

是的。

Yeah.

这有帮助。

It helps.

这确实有帮助。

It certainly helps.

这有助于你成为，嗯，

It helps to be yeah.

比如，一个你打不了的人，因为他们比你弱。

Like, someone who you can't hit because they're they're weaker than you.

是的。

Yeah.

但托尼就走在那条该死的界限上。

But Tony walks that fucking line.

哇哦。

Whoo.

惠特尼之前告诉我，去年年底我做了一次小型巡演，挺有意思的，我当时问：我该期待些什么？

Whitney was telling me before I did a little tour toward the back end of last year, which was pretty interesting, and I was saying, what should I expect?

他说：随着巡演进行，你会觉得越来越无聊。

He says, expect to get a bit more boring as it goes on.

我说：这是什么意思？

It's like, what do you mean?

她说：为了让艺术模仿生活，你得先过上真正的生活。

She said, well, in order for art to imitate life, you have to live a life.

问题是，如果你一直在路上，你只知道机场、酒店、晚餐和演出，仅此而已。

And the problem is, if you're on the road, all you know are airports and hotels and dinners and shows, and that's it.

她说她参加过一次好莱坞编剧会议。

And she was saying that she was in a Hollywood scriptwriters meeting.

他们说：现在是周六早上。

And they were saying, it's a Saturday morning.

她在哪儿？

Where is she?

有人从后面喊道，她在参加婴儿派对。

And someone shouted from the back, she's in a baby shower.

惠特尼说，谁会去参加婴儿派对？

And Whitney was like, who goes to a baby shower?

好吧。

Alright.

她正在参加品酒会。

She's doing a wine tasting.

她说，没人会去参加品酒会。

She's like, no one goes to a wine tasting.

房间里的人转过身来，显然说：不。

And the room turned and apparently said, no.

惠特尼，你不会的。

Whitney, you don't.

像其他普通人那样做。

Like, other normal people do that.

对。

Right.

所以你陷入了一个残酷的成功陷阱。

So you've got this vicious, trap of success.

音乐人肯定也会遇到这种情况。

It must happen with musicians as well.

是的。

Yes.

比如，作为一个真诚的歌手，你原本唱的是关于恋爱和分手的故事，但现在你却要面对‘我也是’这种恐惧。

Like, how are you supposed to you know, if you're some heartfelt singer talking about your makeups and breakups of relationships, and now you're dealing with the fear of me too.

这完全破坏了你所谈论内容那种美好的浪漫氛围。

That's it doesn't exactly give sort of beautiful romance around what you're talking about.

喜剧演员也是如此。

The same thing goes for comedians.

同样的事情也适用于任何事情。

Same thing goes for anything.

比如，你所做的一切的核心就是代表普通人，为普通人发声。

Like, the whole point of what you're trying to do is be representation, be representative for the normal person.

是的。

Yes.

而你的生活越变得奇特、隔绝、漂泊不定，你就越难体验到这些，而这也减少了艺术创作的灵感。

And the more that your life becomes strange and rarefied and on the road, the less of that you get to experience, which is less inspiration for the art.

对。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

关键在于，你在路上的时候到底在做什么？

It's a matter of, like, what are you doing when you're on the road?

你上路只是为了赚钱吗？

Are you on the road just to make money?

因为那样的话，你只能把它当作一份非常幸运的工作。

Because then you just have to just treat it as a very fortunate job.

你肯定无法过上同样的生活，你不会的。

And you definitely are not gonna get the same kind of life You're not.

你就是不会。

You're just not.

你会一直旅行，住酒店。

You're gonna be traveling all the time, and you're gonna be staying in hotels.

你会去演出。

You're gonna be doing gigs.

你大部分时间都会想着如何表演你准备好的内容，如何把你的段子整理好。

Most of your time, you'll be thinking about doing the material that you prepared and getting your set together.

但如果你愿意，还是可以吸收一些东西的。

But you could still take stuff in if you choose to.

你知道的。

You know?

你可以去城市里参观博物馆。

You can go to cities and check out museums.

你可以去城市里，你知道的，逛逛小镇。

You can go to cities and, you know, go on a tour of the town.

你只需要主动一点，就可以看纪录片。

You just have to be proactive, and you could watch documentaries.

比如，我喜欢在路上看纪录片。

Like, I like to watch documentaries on the road.

我更倾向于在路上学习新知识，而不是看纯粹娱乐的东西。

I try to educate myself more on the road than watching something just just entertaining.

所以，你看，我现在在路上。

So, look, I'm on the road.

我本该去表演单口喜剧的。

I'm supposed to be doing stand up.

我醒着呢。

I'm awake.

让我看些关于尼泊尔的内容。

Let me watch something on Nepal.

你明白我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

比如，让我对某件事产生兴趣吧。

Like, let me let me let me get in interested in something.

让我用一些不同于表演和旅行的东西来刺激一下大脑。

Like, let me get my mind stimulated with something other than just performing and traveling.

但你得主动去选择。

But you have to choose to.

就像你得选择去健身房一样。

It's like you have to choose to go to the gym.

当大家都问我时差怎么样时。

Like, when I everyone's like, how's the jet lag?

我就说，你必须全力以赴。

I go, you just gotta kill it.

这就像一件你必须去做的事。

It's just like a thing you have to do.

就像跳进冷水中一样。

It's like jumping in the cold water.

嗯，一开始很难受，但只要你做了，就会感觉好很多。

Like, it sucks, but if you do it, you'll feel better.

你得直接去健身房。

You gotta go right to the gym.

比如，一落地，飞机着陆后，办理酒店入住，然后去健身房。

Like, the moment you land, plane lands, check-in your hotel, Gym.

马上就得去。

Right away.

没有任何借口。

No if ands or buts.

去他妈的健身房。

Go to the fucking gym.

或者在酒店做锻炼。

Or do a hotel workout.

你可以做一套很棒的自重训练。

You could do a great body weight workout.

你可以做一套瑜伽动作。

You could do a yoga routine.

住在有健身房的酒店是最简单的。

Staying in hotels with gyms is the easiest

这是一种很好的方法。它很舒服。

hack It's nice.

为了这个。

For that.

哦，这太棒了。

Oh, it's so nice.

如果你住酒店，他们有壶铃，天哪。

If you go to a hotel and they have kettlebells, like, oh my god.

这太棒了。

This is amazing.

游戏结束。

Game over.

是的。

Yeah.

这太棒了。

This is amazing.

于是你就能好好锻炼一下，彻底让身体动起来，出出汗，提高心率，然后就能安定下来。

And so you just get a nice workout in, really fucking exert your body, get that sweat going, get your heart rate up, and you'll settle in.

所有那些时差问题，都是胡扯。

All that jet lag shit, it's nonsense.

即使你旅行时，这些都会消失。

It all goes away even when you travel.

当我去国外时，就会想，干脆狠狠练一天。

When I go to overseas, it's like, just just fucking work out one day really hard.

然后感觉好像

And then it seems like

差不多能重新调整一切。

Pretty much resets everything.

重新调整一切。

Resets everything.

就像到了一个临界点。

It's like it's like a threshold.

你得真的出出汗，真正地发力，稍微逼自己一下。

You wanna, like, really sweat, like, really get something, like, push it a little bit.

所以你会想，好吧。

So you're like, alright.

现在我们回来了。

Now we're back.

就直接爆发一下。

Just whoop.

恢复正常。

Normality.

是的。

Yeah.

完全恢复正常。

Total normality.

而且你还得确保自己喝足水。

And then also, you gotta make sure you're hydrated.

坐飞机对身体来说简直太残酷了。

That plane travel is just a brutal thing in your body.

可能让你暴露在不健康的辐射波中。

It's probably getting radioactive waves at an unhealthy level.

就像那些空乘人员，你知道的。

Like those stewardesses, you know.

我真想看到一项研究，看看飞行员和空乘人员的端粒和DNA发生了什么变化。

I'd love to see a study looking at the what's happening to their telomeres, what's happening to their DNA, you know, with pilots and stewardesses and stuff.

有类似的研究吗？

Is there anything like that?

我完全不知道。

I have no idea.

但我真的很想知道。

I'd love to know it though.

肯定有的。

There must be.

肯定有人做过关于这方面的长寿研究。

Someone must have done a longevity study on that.

你得想想，当人类刚开始这么做时，纵观整个历史，从来没有人把人送上天空飞行。

You gotta think, when they first started doing that, like, for all of human history, they didn't fly people in the air.

然后他们第一次开始这么做。

And then they first started doing that.

他们根本不知道。

They had no idea.

要是让他变得有超能力了呢？

What if it made him psychic?

要是那些辐射，就像漫画里那种情况呢？

What if, like, all those all that radiation, what if it was like a comic book type deal?

比如，不是得癌症，而是获得一些疯狂的新能力。

Like, instead of, you know, instead of, you know, you get cancer, you get some crazy new power.

在漫画里，每个人都会获得能力。

In comic books, everybody gets power.

在现实世界里，没人会获得能力。

Nobody gets power in the real world.

全都回来了，他们要么变绿了，要么隐形了，或者

All come back down, and they're green or they're invisible or they

看到东西。

see things.

是的。

Yeah.

他们能看见东西。

They can see things.

你看，天哪。

See if you oh, Jesus.

我觉得我们的政府正在尝试这个。

I think our government's trying that one.

我觉得他们基本上想做什么就能做什么。

I'd say they could do basically whatever they want.

他们能看穿墙壁。

They can see through walls.

我们可以想出一大堆他们可能获得的超能力。

We can come up with all kinds of superpowers that they would get.

但关键是，我们真的不知道辐射对你有什么影响。

But but the idea is, like, we really didn't know what radiation did for you.

你知道，那些使用洛姆的女性所遭受的可怕伤害就是这么来的。

You know, that's what those those terrible injuries that those women got that were using Loom.

是的。

Yep.

那种具有放射性的洛姆。

The radioactive Loom.

那个东西叫什么来着，杰米？

What is that shit called again, Jamie?

镭。

Radium.

镭。

Radium.

对。

Yeah.

镭。

Radium.

用来让表盘发光。

Make the watch faces Oh.

更亮了。

Lighter.

太难了。

So hard.

她们还生了孩子。

And they were having babies as well.

她们怀孕了，但孩子出了问题。

They were pregnant, and their kids had problems.

她们脸上出现了洞。

They had holes in their faces.

脸都烂掉了。

Their faces rotted off.

这太可怕了。

It was horrible.

我相当确定。

I'm pretty sure.

玛丽·居里是不是也遇到过类似的问题？

Didn't Marie Curie also have some problem like that as well?

比如，二十世纪初从事放射性物质研究的人，全都完蛋了。

Like, everybody that did research around radioactive substances early nineteen hundreds just got fully fully fucked.

你见过那些曾经测试X光机的女士们的双手吗？

Have you seen the the hands of the ladies who used to test the X-ray machines?

没有。

No.

哦，那真是严重的伤害，天哪。

Oh, it's a horrible injury, man.

因为以前人们还不知道X射线有危险，所以必须在办公室里确认X光机是否正常工作。

Because back in the day before they knew that X rays were dangerous, they had to make sure the X-ray machine worked in the office.

所以这些女士每天都会把手放进去。

So these ladies would put their hand in every day.

哦，是在病人进来之前吗？

Oh, before the patient came in?

每天一只手接受一次剂量。

Every a dose of one hand dose

每天都这样。

of every day.

而且大概，是用同一只手吗？

And presumably oh, was it all with the same hand?

看看这只手。

Look at the hand.

太恶心了，老兄。

It's fucking gross, man.

就是他们的手得了癌症。

It's just they their hands got cancer.

他们就是得了手癌。

They just got hand cancer.

他们的手全都

Their hands are all

皱缩了

shriveled up

而且烂透了。

and fucked up.

是的。

Yeah.

哦。

Oh.

这只是一个例子，但还有相关的照片。

That's an illustration of one, but there's photographs of one.

那个在最上面一排中间和顶部的。

That one up up above the top row, the middle and the top.

就是这个。

That's the one.

看看这个，老兄。

Look at that, dude.

这位女士接受了太多X光照射。

That's a lady who got too many X rays.

哦。

Oh.

把她的手烤熟了。

Just cooked her hand.

这只手展示了十九世纪末期因辐射暴露造成的损伤。

This hand showing damage from radiation exposure back in the nineteen hundreds.

你看，他们当时不知道。

See, they didn't know.

这正是我想说的。

That's what I'm saying.

他们真的不知道会发生什么。

Like, they really didn't know what was gonna happen.

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

他们会拿那个混蛋做测试。

They would test that motherfucker.

看看那个家伙的手。

Look at that dude's hand.

烤焦了。

Cooked.

另一边还是亮的。

Still light on the other side.

是的。

Yeah.

所以他只是测试了一下手。

So he just test the hand.

再见。

See you.

所以这是十九世纪，杰米？

So this is the nineteen hundreds, Jamie?

哇。

Wow.

不是。

No.

1865年到1904年是他在托马斯·爱迪生手下工作的时候。

1865 to nineteen o four is when Worked with Thomas Edison lived.

一个玻璃吹制工。

A glassblower.

哇。

Wow.

哦，那是个家伙。

Oh, that's a dude.

克拉伦斯。

Clarence.

他会用自己制作的X光管做实验，结果因患上侵袭性癌症而去世。

Oh, he would test X-ray tubes he made on his own hands and died after developing aggressive cancer.

侵袭性癌症。

Aggressive cancer.

他的双臂都被截肢了，但未能成功挽救

Both of his arms amputated in an unsuccessful attempt to save

他的生命。

his life.

天啊。

My god.

他去世后不久，托马斯·爱迪生就放弃了对X射线的研究。

Shortly after his death, Thomas Edison abandoned his research on X rays shortly after.

老兄，我得给你讲讲这个。

Dude, I gotta teach you about this.

另一个家伙。

The other guy.

另一个家伙也完蛋了。

The other guy's fucked too.

有两个。

There's two.

那里有两个家伙。

There's two guys there.

所有人都完蛋了。

Everyone's wrecked.

是的。

Yeah.

那个家伙怎么了？

What happened to that guy?

天哪。

Jesus Christ.

他靠胡子得救了。

He was saved by the beard.

我有了一个新的偶像，得给你介绍一下。

I've got a new man crush that I need to teach you about.

哎呀。

Uh-oh.

他已经去世六十年了，所以没关系。

And he died sixty years ago, so it's it's okay.

对不起。

I'm sorry.

所以，杰米，你觉得这位可能拥有历史上最棒的维基百科首段描述吗？

So, Jamie, can I think this guy might have the best top paragraph Wikipedia description in history?

你只要搜索一下‘不死士兵’，就会看到维基百科条目排在最上面。

Can you just Google the unkillable soldier, and you'll see a Wikipedia entry at the top.

这是个真实的人吗？

Is this a real human?

一个真实的人。

A real human.

他什么时候生活的？

When when did he live?

1880年到大约1960年左右。

1880 until about 1960 or so.

所以他经历了

So he went through

哦，他是西苏吗？

Oh, is he he's Sisu.

不是？

No?

阿德里安·卡特爵士，阿德里安·卡特爵士，不是。

Sir Adrian Carter sir Adrian No.

电影开头，那就是他们的传说。

In the beginning of the movie, that's what they that's that's the legend.

是的。

Yeah.

也许他并不是真实存在的人。

Maybe it's not a real guy.

嗯，《Sisu》是一部斯堪的纳维亚电影，对吧？

Well, Sisu's a Scandinavian movie, isn't it?

不对。

No.

什么什么

What what

他是英国人。

He's a British guy.

他是位优秀的英国人。

He's a good British

是瑞典的吗？

Is it Swedish?

阿德里安·保罗·吉斯兰·卡龙·杜阿尔特少将是一名英国陆军军官，父母分别为比利时人和爱尔兰人。

Lieutenant General Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton Duarte was a British Army soldier officer, born of Belgian and Irish parents.

他荣获了维多利亚十字勋章，这是英联邦国家中授予在敌人面前表现出英勇行为的最高军事荣誉。

He was awarded the Victoria Cross, the highest military decoration awarded for valor in the face of the enemy in various Commonwealth countries.

他曾参加过布尔战争、第一次世界大战和第二次世界大战。

He served in the Boer War, First World War, and Second World War.

他面部、头部、腹部、脚踝、腿部、臀部和耳朵均中弹，左眼失明，经历过两次飞机坠毁，从战俘营挖地道逃出，并在医生拒绝截肢时自行撕下了自己的手指。

He was shot in the face, head, stomach, ankle, leg, hip, and ear, was blinded in his left eye, survived two plane crashes, tunneled out to a prisoner of war camp, and tore off his own fingers when a doctor declined to amputate them.

在描述第一次世界大战的经历时，他坦率地写道：‘说实话，我享受战争的’

Describing his experiences in the First World War, he wrote, frankly, I had enjoyed the

战争。

war.

外面真有这种人。

There's dudes like that out there.

你只需要知道，外面真的有这种人。

You just have to know there's guys like that out there.

这个人的故事。

This guy's story.

让我跟你讲讲吧，老兄。

Let me tell you about it, man.

他于1880年出生在比利时的贵族家庭，你可能会以为他会走典型的贵族道路。

So he gets born in 1880 to aristocracy in Belgium, and you think he's gonna go through the typical aristocratic route.

他去了牛津大学贝利奥尔学院。

He goes to Balliol College in Oxford.

他父亲希望他去学法律，你可能会觉得，好吧，故事到此为止了。

His father wants him to go and study law, And you think, right, that's that's the end of the story there.

19岁时，他决定要去亲历战争，瞒着父亲偷偷溜走，直接主动向布尔人或英国人投效。

At 19, he decides that he wants to go and see war, sneaks away without telling his father, and literally offers himself to either the Boers or the British.

英国人收下了他。

The British take him.

天哪。

So Holy shit.

他就是想上战场。

He was like, I just want to be in war.

他的

His

天哪。

Holy shit.

他父亲根本不知道。

His father doesn't know.

所以他上了战场。

So he's away in war.

他父亲说：你不是应该在大学读书吗？

His father says, what you were supposed to be in university.

你现在中弹了。

You've now been shot.

他没事。

He's okay.

好吧，我祝福你这次新的军事行动。

Well, I'll bless this new military campaign you want to go on.

他说，我想被重新部署。

He says, I wanna be redeployed.

他再次被部署到南非。

Gets redeployed again to South Africa.

他当时率领骆驼部队，那是一群骑着骆驼上战场的人。

He was at the head of the camel corps, which was literally a group of people who rode into battle on camelback.

所以他再次中弹。

So he gets shot.

他先被击中耳朵，然后击中眼睛，接着子弹反弹，又击中了同一只眼睛，而当时他正带领着这些人冲锋。

He gets shot in the ear and then in the eye, and then a bullet ricochets and hits him in the same eye again while he's leading these guys into battle.

他被送回家了。

He gets sent back home.

英国军方说他想参加第一次世界大战。

The British military say he wants to go out on the First World War.

他现在想去前线参加第一次世界大战。

Wants to go to the front line to the First World War now.

但他们说，我们不能派一个只有一只眼睛的人上战场，那样会显得我们军队士兵很弱。

But they said we can't send a guy with one eye out there because it's gonna look like we've got really weak soldiers.

于是他们给他配了一只玻璃眼，并说，只有戴上这只玻璃眼，你才能重返战场。

So they give him a glass eye and say the only way that you can go back out is if you wear this glass eye.

他说，好吧。

And he says, oh, okay.

在离开医院的出租车上，他把玻璃眼取出来，从窗户扔了出去，改戴眼罩。

In the taxi, leaving the hospital, takes it out, throws it out of a window, and starts wearing an eye patch.

他重新加入军队参加第一次世界大战的首场战斗中，一块弹片炸伤了他的手，只剩下两根手指还连着掌心的皮肤，他的手表也嵌进了手臂里。

The first battle that he's in when he rejoins when he rejoins the army in World War one, a piece of shrapnel explodes his hand, and all that's left are two fingers hanging on by the skin of the palm of his hand, and his watch actually embeds itself in his arm too.

所以这是他再次遭遇的第一件事，他去了野战医院。

So that this is the first thing that he's encountered again, Goes to the field hospital.

医生拒绝截除他的手指。

The doctor declines to amputate the fingers.

于是他因疼痛难忍，当着医生的面直接把手指扯了下来。

So he just rips them off in front of him because he's in so much pain.

随后，他的手臂也被截肢了。

The arm then has to be amputated.

于是他又对那些人说：我想被重新部署。

So he says to the guys again, I wanna be redeployed.

他们说：你现在是个独眼又断臂的人了。

They're like, you are now a one eyed amputee.

我还是想被部署。

I wanna be deployed.

接下来他参加的是索姆河战役。

Battle of the Somme, his next battle that he goes into.

有其他士兵报告称，卡顿·杜阿尔特冲进战场，用牙齿拔出手榴弹的引信，向敌人投掷，并用一只手重新装填左轮手枪。

There's reports from other soldiers seeing Carton Duarte running into battle, pulling the pins out of grenades with his teeth, throwing them at the enemy, and reloading a revolver with one hand.

所以这家伙是个独臂杀手。

So this guy is a single armed killer.

在此期间，他被击中，子弹从后脑穿入。

During that, he gets shot in the he gets shot through the back of the head.

从头部穿入。

Through the head.

但他没死。

Doesn't die.

在随后的战斗中，他被晋升了24小时，之后因威胁要殴打上级又被降职。

In subsequent battles oh, he he got promoted for twenty four hours before he threatened to punch his superior and then got demoted again.

所以他简直就是个完全疯狂的家伙。

So he's just like this totally wild dude.