乔伊·多尔蒂谈为何你不是身边五个朋友的总和

要是我当初坚持下来，一直做到现在，光靠卖艺术印刷品或者艺术NFT，我他妈早就成百万富翁了。

If I would have kept with it, it would have if I would have kept with it until now, I'd be a fucking millionaire just from selling, like, art prints or, like, NFTs for my art.

卧槽。

Holy shit.

想象一下如果我一直坚持做下去。

Imagine if I would have kept that up.

靠。

Damn.

不过没有遗憾。

But no regrets.

我现在走的这条路好多了。

I'm I'm on a much better path.

同样的，我还开过健身YouTube频道。

And the same thing, like, I started a fitness YouTube.

虽然有点起色，但我...我有自信，却缺乏那种坚持和未来规划。

It it gains it gains some traction, but I I didn't have I had the self belief, but I didn't have the, like, commitment or, like, vision of the future.

我当时没有像现在这样从个人深层理解迭代的意义。

I didn't understand iteration on a personal deep level like I do now.

就是说，如果某个方法行不通，你需要改进它，测试它，再次迭代，持续不断地推进。

Like, if something isn't working, you need to change it for the better, test it, iterate again, continue, continue, continue.

没错。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

是啊。

Yeah.

我完全同意。

I completely agree.

问题在于大多数人缺乏耐心。

And the the problem is is that most people aren't patient.

实际上这在很大程度上要归咎于社交媒体。

And a large part of that actually is because of social media.

但很多人缺乏耐心，不愿意坚持那些尚未见效的事情。

But a lot of people are not patient and they're not willing to stick with something that's not yet giving them results.

有趣的是，我前不久在Telegram频道里就这个话题录了段语音笔记，因为前几天我突然意识到，当我们开始做出积极改变或着手建设时，往往不会立刻看到成果。

So it's funny I actually recorded a voice note about that in my Telegram channel a little bit ago because it hit me the other day that when we start making positive changes or we start building something, we don't get results right away.

你几乎不可能立即获得成果。

You rarely ever get results immediately.

这需要数日时间。

It takes days.

这需要数周时间。

It takes weeks.

要建立一项事业，可能需要数月之久。

For building a business, it can take months.

我的意思是，从我上传第一个视频开始算起，我花了一年多时间才真正从所做的事情中赚到钱。

I mean, business didn't from the time that I hit upload on my first video, it took me over a year to actually make any money whatsoever from what I was doing.

但我依然坚持了下来，因为这是我所热爱并想要追求的事业。

And but I still stuck with it because it's something that I was passionate about and something I wanted to do.

同样的情况也发生在那些新年立志要减肥的人身上。

And similar thing happens with New Year's resolutioners who wanna lose weight.

他们开始做出更好的选择，但并没有立即看到预期的效果。

They start making better decisions, but they don't see the results that they expect right away.

于是他们就想，哦，这方法不适合我，或者我有什么问题之类的，然后就放弃了。

So they think, oh, well, this isn't for me or there's something wrong with me or whatever, and they give up.

就像你说的，无论你在做什么，只要坚持几个月或几年，就一定会看到成果。

And like you said, you know, no matter what you're doing, if you stick with it for months or a couple years or whatever, you're going to get results.

尤其是在推特上，只要你为人不是太差劲，建立人脉网络非常容易。要知道，只要坚持并付出努力，线上业务可以发展得非常、非常、非常迅速。

And especially here on Twitter with how easy it is to build a network if you're not a complete douchebag, you know, online business can grow very, very, very quickly if you stick with it and you put in the work.

前几天有人给我发消息。

I had somebody message me the other day.

我觉得那简直像是种拐弯抹角的恭维。

I thought it was a really like, almost a backhanded compliment.

但这个人认识我刚开始自我提升的时候，认识我刚开始经营'提升极客'的时候。

But somebody who knew when I started improve knew me when I started Improvement Geek.

我是在一个创作者聚会上认识他们的。

I met them at a creator meetup.

但他们给我发了条消息说，嘿，

But they sent me a message that was like, hey.

恭喜突破2万粉。

Congratulations on passing 20 k.

感觉你粉丝破千还是昨天的事。

It feels like yesterday that you're at one k.

是有哪条特别推文帮你做到的吗？

Was it one tweet that helped you get here?

我说不是的，

And I was like, no.

过去一年多我每天都在坚持创作。

I've been showing up every day for the past year plus.

这才是让我走到今天的原因。

That's what got me here.

确实，我有过一些爆火的推文，但真正让我走到今天的，是日复一日的坚持和投入，因为我坚信自己，也坚信正在构建的事业。

Like, I've had some tweets that have popped off, but I've been showing up every day and putting in the work because I believe in myself and I believe in what I'm building here.

到了这个阶段，我觉得自己对社交圈和社群有责任继续做现在的事。

And I have to at this point, I feel like I have a responsibility to my network and my community to do what I do.

我当时觉得——这问题真的特别奇怪。

It's like I I thought that was a really weird question.

我确定对方不是这个意思，但听起来就像是——不。

I'm sure they didn't mean it that way, but the way it came off was like, no.

一切源于，你知道的，坚持。

It came from, you know, consistency.

而很多人无论在自我提升还是商业领域，最缺乏的就是坚持。

And that's what a lot of people lack in both self improvement and in business is consistency.

这才是关键。

That's the key.

是啊。

Yeah.

总而言之，持之以恒是关键。

So all in all, consistency is key.

这算是个老生常谈的道理了。

There's a platitude for you.

我不知道你是否了解这方面的事。

And I I don't know if you know anything about this.

我自己对此也几乎一无所知。

I barely know anything about this.

但我想提及这个话题，因为希望能提高大家的认知。

But I wanna touch on this because I wanna spread awareness for it.

既然我们刚才非常、非常简略地提到了NFT。

And since we briefly very, very briefly touched on NFTs.

加密货币和去中心化金融，你有投资吗？

Crypto and decentralized finance, Are you invested?

你是比特币玩家吗？

Are you are you a Bitcoiner?

我确实是。

I am I am indeed.

不错。

Nice.

好的。

Okay.

所以各位听众请注意，对这些内容要持保留态度，因为首先，我绝不是投资者。

So what what are everyone listening to this, take all of this with a grain of salt because, one, I have not I am not an investor by any means.

我也绝不是交易员。

I'm not a trader by any means.

我相信乔伊也不是。

I'm sure Joey isn't either.

我们各自有自己不同的半专业化领域。

We each have our own separate semi specializations.

不过

But

这不是财务建议。

is not financial advice.

别起诉我们。

Don't sue.

这完全不是财务建议。

This is not financial advice at all.

那么，乔伊，你觉得这会怎样？我最近听说，比特币毫无疑问会涨到10万美元。

So, Joey, where do you think this is gonna be like, I've heard recently that, one, Bitcoin, no doubt, will hit a 100 k.

这个我信。

I I can believe that.

是啊。

Yeah.

我还听说，它最终肯定会涨到一百万美元，这听起来有点疯狂，不太确定。

I've also heard, no doubt, that it will eventually hit a million down the road, which sounds it it sounds kinda crazy, like, not really sure.

是啊。

Yeah.

我其实对投资了解不多，不敢妄下定论，但这想法让我觉得，天啊。

I I don't know too much about investing to actually say that, but it makes me think, like, holy shit.

如果这成真，我们都入场极早了。嗯。

If this first, we're all extremely early Mhmm.

包括所有这些，所有的山寨币、比特币、以太坊等等。

Still to all of this, all the altcoins, Bitcoin, Ethereum, whatever it is.

所以想想还挺疯狂的，比如我个人已经把很多积蓄和其他资产直接转成了加密货币。

So it's it's kind of insane to think, like, if we were I I've personally moved a lot of my savings and other shit just, like, straight into crypto.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但我很期待看到未来走向，因为我觉得现在投资的人不需要投入巨额资金。

But it's like, I I'm very excited to see where it's gonna go because I feel like the people that invest something right now doesn't have to be absolutely insane.

我投的金额也不算特别疯狂。

I don't have an absolutely insane amount in there.

所以问题是，十年后会是什么光景呢？

So it's like, where is it gonna be in ten years?

就像，如果我们十年后还把它放在那里，我觉得那会非常疯狂。

Like, if we just leave it there in ten years, I feel like it's gonna be pretty fucking insane.

是啊。

Yeah.

我也这么认为。

I think it will be too.

把这与一致性联系起来，你必须持续地保持投资，明白吗。

And relating that back to consistency, you gotta consistently leave it in there, you know.

比如，我知道很多人买了一点比特币，然后在个人资料里加上#比特币标签和激光眼表情什么的。

Like, I I know there are a lot of people who buy, like, a couple Satoshis and then put hashtag bitcoin in their profile and that laser eyes and everything.

他们每天都会查看Coinbase或者那些显示K线图的网站。

And they check, you know, Coinbase or whatever or that one site that shows the candles and, you know, they check that every day.

昨天价格下跌五六千美元时，很多人可能都恐慌了。

A lot of people are probably having some panic attacks yesterday when it dropped, like, five or seven k.

没错。

Yeah.

你真的要做好长期持有的准备。

You really have to be in that for the long haul.

关于这类投资，我给人们的建议是：只投入你愿意损失的资金，基本上就是这样。

One piece of advice that I would give people about that kind of thing is only invest what you're willing to lose, basically.

没有任何保证。

There are no guarantees.

如果有的话，显然我们都会去买比特币。

If there were, obviously, we'd all be buying Bitcoin.

就像如果我们早知道比特币会变成什么样，我们早就把全部积蓄投进去了。

Like, if we knew what Bitcoin was going to become, we all would've, you know, thrown our life savings into it.

但没人能预知未来。

But nobody knows.

说不定明天埃隆发条对比特币不利的推文，价格就会暴跌2万美元，这种事情真的说不准。

You know, somebody Elon could tweet something bad about Bitcoin tomorrow and then it's gonna drop 20 k because Elon thinks, you know, like, you just never really know.

但就像我说的，关键是要做好心理准备，只投入你能够承受损失的资金。

But you have to essentially, like I said, invest what you're willing to lose, but also or okay with losing.

显然，不要把你毕生的积蓄都投进去。

Don't put your entire life savings into it, obviously.

但你也必须做出最好的、经过深思熟虑的猜测或决策。

But you also have to make your best, like, educated guess or educated decision, you know.

因为在投资领域，确实有些聪明人可以提供指导。

Because that with investing, there are some smart people who can give guidance.

但归根结底，这很大程度上是靠猜测和运气。

But at the end of the day, you know, it's really a lot of guess work and it's a lot of luck.

所以，是的。

So Yeah.

你必须愿意随波逐流。

You have to be willing to go for go along with the ride.

我看到比特币社区经常讨论的一个重要观点是：你投资它不仅仅是为了快速获利。

You know, a big thing that I see the Bitcoin community talk about is, you know, you're you're not just invested in it because you want a quick paycheck.

你投资比特币是因为你相信它，相信它所代表的意义以及它将如何改变世界。

You're invested in Bitcoin because you believe in it, and you believe in what it represents and what how it will change the world.

你知道，你相信几年后它会成为一种广泛流通的货币，可以用来购买商品。

You know, you believe that in several years, it's going to be a widespread currency that you'll be able to buy stuff with.

我记得在佐治亚理工时，我们足球场的零食摊开始接受比特币支付。

I remember when I was at Georgia Tech, our football stadium concession stand started taking Bitcoin as payment.

那是在2015或2016年，想想看如果有人用比特币买过零食，现在那些钱值多少，简直不可思议。

And this was in 2015 or 2016, which is pretty wild if you think about anybody who bought concession stand food with Bitcoin, how much that would've cost.

或者说，现在那些比特币值多少钱。

Or, like, how much that'd be worth now.

就像那个花50个比特币买披萨的人。

You know, like, the guy who bought a pizza for, like, 50 Bitcoin or whatever.

现在那块披萨值上百万美元了。

Like, now that's, like, a million dollar pizza.

但你必须愿意经历市场的起伏，这与自我提升、创业等其他事情也有相似之处。

But, yeah, you have to be willing to be in something through the ups and downs, and that has a parallel as well to self improvement and building a business and all this other stuff.

你必须保持这种坚持。

Like, you have to have that consistency.

如果你不愿意长期坚持做某件事，那还不如干脆别做，因为只会白白浪费时间。

If you're not gonna if you're not willing to stick with something for a long period of time, you may as well not even do it because you're just gonna waste your time.

确实如此。

No doubt.

既然这是现代精通播客的第一期，我要再次强调——因为这是千真万确的——所有事情都是相互关联的。

And that's since this is the very first modern mastery podcast, I'm gonna say again because that is 5000000000% true that, one, like, everything ties together.

你既然上过推特之类平台，现在应该已经体会到这点了。

You've you've experienced this by now since you've been on Twitter or anything.

我们迄今为止学到的所有自我提升知识，现在全都串联起来了。

All of the self improvement shit that we've learned up until this point, it all ties together now.

对吧？

Right?

整个情绪管理方面。

The whole emotional management.

说得太对了。

That's so true.

在网络业务、健身、心态调整中学会超脱于结果，就像你在日常生活中所做的那样，不执着于结果，能够管理自己的情绪。

Detaching yourself from the outcome in online business, fitness, mindset work, just like the things that you're doing in daily life, like, detaching from the outcome, being able to manage your emotions.

投资这些事情也是同样的道理。

It's the same thing with investing in this shit.

有点神奇的是，所有事情本质上都是相通的。

Like, it's kind of crazy how everything is just the same.

所以这算是个小广告吧。

So that's kind of a plug.

如果你正在听第一期节目，我们的三大核心支柱就是网络业务、健身健康、以及心态/精神层面，有时甚至包括人际关系。

So if you're listening to this, the very first one, it that that's our main three pillars are the online business, fitness and health, and then mindset slash spirit, maybe even sometimes relationships.

对吧？

Right?

我们将讨论所有这些理念如何交汇融合，而你——这就是生活的本质。

We're gonna be talking about everything that all of these ideas come together and meet as one in all of this shit, and you are that that's just the way of life.

对吧？

Right?

比如，你现在会用其他方式生活吗？

Like, I would you live life any other way right now?

不会。

No.

没错。

Exactly.

对吧？

Right?

这感觉太棒了。

It it's so good.

就像，我无法想象它被称为现代精通，因为现代社会和他们强加给你的东西，或者说你被条件反射去做的事情，都是平庸的。

Like, I cannot imagine it's called modern mastery because the modern world and what they push on you is or what you're conditioned to do is mediocre.

对吧？

Right?

这简直就是彻头彻尾的垃圾。

It it's just absolute shit.

比如说，现在很多婴儿潮一代出生的人并不是很好的榜样。

Like, you are born a lot of a lot of boomers right now are not very good role models.

我认为他们中的大多数都是这样，尤其是在西方。

I would say the majority of them are, especially in the West.

对吧？

Right?

比如，你去沃尔玛，就能看到情况有多糟糕。

Like, you go to a Walmart, and you can just see how bad the situation is.

是的。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

所以这就是问题所在。

So that's the thing.

你就是这样被养大的。

You're raised.

我不是在说你家父母的坏话。

I don't I'm not talking shit about your parents.

其实每个家庭和父母身上都有很多值得学习的地方。

Like, there's a lot to learn from every single family and every single parent.

但如今普通婴儿潮一代确实不是什么好榜样。

But the average boomer right now is not a very good role model.

对吧？

Right?

你会继承他们的习惯、思维模式和其他特质，除非你能及早跳出这个陷阱。

They are you're adopting their habits, their mindset, their other things unless you get it up get out of that trap early.

对吧？

Right?

当你进入理财推特或自我提升推特这类圈子，周围都是人生各方面都极其成功的人，这会激励你变得更好。

You get on something like money Twitter or self improvement Twitter, whatever you wanna call it, and you're surrounded by these people that are absolutely killing it in life in all areas, and it inspires you to do better.

对吧？

Right?

关键在于吸收优质信息，而不是Instagram上那些自我贬低的垃圾梗图。

It's the whole consuming the good information rather than the bullshit self deprecating memes that you see on Instagram.

天啊，我真是讨厌那些东西，老兄。

And, god, I I hate those, dude.

我也是

Me

一样。

too.

我他妈真的超级讨厌那些东西。

I really fucking hate those.

抑郁不是一种个性。

Depression is not a personality.

我特别讨厌之前《纽约客》那个封面，你知道的，就是那个坐在乱七八糟公寓里的女人

And I really hated that New Yorker cover from a while back, you know, the woman who is sitting in a messy ass apartment

是啊。

Yeah.

到处都是这样。

That everywhere.

就像，那根本不算个性，你懂吧。

Like, the that's not a personality, you know.

我能理解这或许让你感觉好受些，但我觉得很多Z世代把这当成了他们的全部个性标签，比如什么'悲伤男孩军团'之类的标签。

Like, I I understand if it makes you feel a little bit better, but I feel like there's a lot of Zoomers who, like, they're this is their personality, like, you know, hashtag sad boy squad or whatever.

这真的很让人恼火，因为本质上它阻碍了我们前进，明白吗。

And it's really irritating because it basically holds us back, you know.

当你把这部分当作自我认同时，其实并不利于个人成长，你——

Like, when when you make that part of your identity, you're not really it's not conducive to improving, you

懂吧。

know.

是啊。

Yeah.

而且确实。

And Yeah.

他们说你是与你相处时间最多的五个人的总和。

They they say that you're the sum of the five people that you spend the most time with.

这其实是不完整的。

It's actually incomplete.

你是...而且研究已经发现了这一点。

You're the sum of and research has found this.

确实有关于这方面的研究。

There's actual studies that have been done on this.

你不仅仅是你相处最多的五个人的总和。

You're not just the sum of the five people that you spend most time with.

你是你整个社交圈和你所消费内容的总和，包括你获取的信息，甚至你朋友的朋友。

You're the sum of your entire network and what you consume, meaning information that you consume, but also your friend's friends.

他们也会影响你。

They affect you too.

哦，哇。

Oh, wow.

我上周刚读了一篇相关文章，研究表明：当你朋友的朋友体重增加时，你增重的可能性也会提高。

A research study I was reading an article about this last week, but a a research study found it was something along the lines of that when a friend of your friend gained some weight, you're more likely to gain weight.

即便你根本不认识那个朋友的朋友，这种影响依然存在——我们就是这样相互关联的。

Even if you don't even know the friend of a friend, you're more likely because we're just interconnected that way.

这听起来像玄学胡扯，但确实有证据表明：你允许进入生活的人会对你产生重大影响。

And it sounds like woo woo bullshit, but there's a little bit of evidence there that shows that, you know, the the people that you allow into your life really have a a large effect.

如果你选择长期与那些不愿提升自我的人为伍，那你很可能也会停滞不前。

And if you choose to spend a lot of time around people who don't care about leveling up in life, then you're probably not going to level up in life.

短期内或许无所谓，但长期会导致你充满怨气、永不满足，不断懊悔本可以拥有的可能。

And that may be fine on a short time scale, but it's gonna lead you being very bitter and unsatisfied and wondering what could have been.

这对我而言是重要驱动力——我不想带着虚度一生的感觉活着。

And that's a big driver for me is I don't want to feel like I wasted my life.

明白吗？

You know?

我做这些事，是因为想在世界上留下积极的影响。

Like, I do what I do because I wanna leave a positive legacy in the world.

我知道这听起来很老套，但我真的想留下积极的遗产和正面的影响。

I know that's cheesy as fuck, but I wanna leave a positive legacy and a positive influence.

就像，让世界比我来到时更好一点。

Like, leave it better than I came into it.

但我也希望能感受到自己发挥了潜力，过上了充实的人生。

But I also want to feel like I achieved my potential and that I've lived a satisfying life.

而且我们都应该渴望这样的生活。

And we're we should all be feeling like we want that.

但如果我们继续和错误的人为伍，继续吸收错误的信息——比如社会硬塞给我们那些垃圾内容——我们永远无法走远。

But if we continue to hang around the wrong people and we continue to consume the wrong information, such as the shit that society shoves down our face and our ears, we're not gonna go very far.

你必须非常谨慎地选择让什么进入你的生活。

You have to be very careful of what you allow into your life.

是啊。

Yeah.

百分之百同意。

100%.

我现在正在引用艺术家Rivalino兄弟在我帖子下的评论，天啊。

I'm I'm pulling up a quote right now that brother Rivalino Rivalino the artist commented under my post, and goddamn.

这句话太棒了，因为我个人对男性女性之间的动态关系或极性并没有做太多研究。

Like, it's such a great quote because the I I I've I have personally not done too much research on, like, the masculine, feminine dynamic or, like, polarity.

对吧？

Right?

但很多人说的和我所看到的都是事实，我不是女性，所以不能代表女性发言。

But what many people have said and what I have seen to be true, I'm not I'm not a woman, so I cannot speak for women here.

我现在可不是在学Zoobie那一套。

I'm not pulling a Zoobie right now.

但是

But

嘿，老兄。

Hey, man.

今年可是现代了。

It's the current year.

你可以随心所欲。

You can do what you want.

好吧。

Okay.

我现在是个女人，而且我确实认同Niche先生这句话。

I am a woman right now, and I do identify with this quote from sir Niche Niche Niche.

什么是幸福？

It is what is happiness?

就是感受到力量在增长，阻力被克服的感觉。

The feeling that power is growing, that resistance is being overcome.

对吧？

Right?

这就是全部了。

And that's really the whole thing.

说到底，我根本不在乎自己是否达到了什么潜力上限。

Like, at at the end of the day, I could give a fuck if I reach whatever my potential is.

对吧？

Right?

这对我来说无法量化。

That's not quantifiable to me.

嗯哼。

Mhmm.

但可以量化的是，每天我是否在克服那些由他人或我自己头脑抛向我的重大挑战和微小挑战。

But what is quantifiable is that right there is, on a daily basis, am I overcoming the major challenges and the minor challenges that are thrown my way either by other people or by my own mind.

对吗？

Right?

我是否在克服这些挑战，是否在日渐强大？

Am I overcoming those, and am I am I becoming more powerful day by day?

就像，我刚读完这段话，即使在健身房，当你用315磅做尽可能多的卧推后，起身时感觉自己简直是个野兽，伙计。

And, like, just after I've read this quote like, even in the gym, after you, like, bench a heavy set of three fifteen for as many reps as possible, you get up feeling like an absolute fucking beast, dude.

那种感觉棒极了，因为你又征服了一座新的高峰。

Like, you feel absolutely amazing because, one, you either you conquered that next mountain.

比如，如果你之前的极限是315磅只能做1次，结果神奇地完成了5次，老兄，你会感觉自己焕然一新。

Like, if your max before that was just three fifteen for one rep and you magically come and hit five reps, dude, you you just feel like another person.

就像站在世界之巅一样。

Like, you're riding on top of the world.

不过这个例子有点微妙，因为这种突破不可持续，你不可能每天都做到。

Now that's that's an iffy example because that's not sustainable, and you can't do that every day.

但从微观层面看，你克服的所有挑战谱系、你如何战胜它们、如何从中学习——我觉得这才是快乐的主要源泉。

But, like, from, like, a small scale, the entire spectrum of challenges that you overcome And how you overcome them and how you learn those lessons, I feel like, is the main source of happiness.

虽然我觉得'快乐'这个词其实没有准确定义。

Although I feel like happiness has there's no real definition.

对吧？

Right?

人们总是随意使用这个词。

People just use it whenever.

确实。

Right.

但就我此刻的理解而言，我确实认为这是幸福的关键。

But I do feel like in in in my interpretation right here, I do think that is the key to happiness.

我认为这个观点切中要害。

I do think that niche nailed that one.

我也相信幸福的重要组成部分是做一些与你的价值观和目标一致的事情。

I believe a big part of happiness as well is doing things that are aligned with your values and your goals.

嗯。

Mhmm.

所以我一直在深入研究自律，因为我在写这方面的内容，同时也是为了帮助我的客户。

And so I've been doing a lot of research into discipline because I'm writing something about it, but also to help out my clients.

我意识到，成为一个自律的人以及快乐的人，第一步就是做与自身一致的事情。

And I realized that the very first step to being a disciplined person as well as being a happy person is doing things that are aligned with you.

一致性是其中非常关键的部分。

Alignment's a very key part of this.

是啊。

Yeah.

所以如果你花点时间弄清楚你的目标和价值观是什么，然后开始调整你的生活以与之保持一致。

So if you take a little bit of time to figure out what your goals are, what your values are, and then start shifting your life to be in alignment with those.

你会变得更加自律。

You're going to be much more disciplined.

采取与你一致的行动会更容易。

It's gonna be easier to take actions that are aligned with you.

而且你会更快乐，因为你过的是更符合你本性的生活。

And you're going to be happier because you're living a life that is more aligned with you.

举个例子，对我来说，我在沃尔玛工作贯穿了大约半个大学时期，我讨厌那份工作。

So for example, for me, when I I worked at Walmart through, you know, about half of college, and I hated it.

我不想去，但我不得不去，因为我要养活我的猫。

And I didn't wanna go, but I kinda had to because I needed to feed my cat.

很大一部分原因就是那份工作与我不匹配。

And that's a big part of that is because that wasn't aligned to me.

你知道，如果我继续那份工作或辍学之类的，那会让我非常不满意，因为这不符合我的本性和我对生活的期望。

You know, if I had stayed at that job or dropped out of college or something like that, you know, that would have been very unsatisfying to me because it wouldn't have been aligned with who I am and what I wanted out of life.

所以我觉得幸福的另一个重要组成部分是做那些让你觉得适合你的事。

So I feel like that's another big component of happiness is doing things that you feel fit you.

这是一个主动的过程。

And that's an active process.

很多人并不这么做。

A lot of people don't.

很多人认为你需要找到自我。

A a lot of people think that you need to find yourself.

我更喜欢将其视为创造自我。

I prefer thinking of it as creating yourself.

我知道这听起来可能基本上是一回事，确实，它们确实很相似。

And I know that that probably seems like they're basically the same thing, and, yeah, they kind of are.

但如果你考虑创造自我，那更像是一个主动的过程，而不是说‘我要旅行一年去寻找自我’，然后等待它自然出现。

But if you think about creating yourself, then that's more of an active thing rather than, oh, I'm gonna travel for a year and find myself, and I'll wait for it to come to me.

如果你开始主动塑造自我并积极参与其中，你会更有纪律性、更有动力，同时也会更快乐。

You know, if you start creating yourself and take an active role in it, you're going to have more discipline, more motivation, but also more happiness as well.

好的。

Okay.

是的。

Yeah.

我之前听过这个说法，而且我深有体会，确实如此。

I've heard that before, and I attest to it because yeah.

实际上我们稍后会讨论这个，但乔伊确实指导过我。

That's actually we'll talk about this here, but, like, Joey has coached me.

他是个非常棒的教练。

He's a very good coach.

他帮我搞定了所有这些破事。

He's helped me fucking do all this shit.

现代精通之道就是从乔伊那里诞生的。

Modern mastery was born from Joey.

对吧？

Right?

乔伊和我还讨论过这件事。

And the other thing Joey and I have talked about this.

但科里·威尔克斯是另一位心理学专家，我们通电话时，科里简直太棒了。

But Corey Wilkes, he's another psychology dude, and he's when we hopped on a call, when Corey Corey's dope.

除了这个我不知道该怎么形容他。

I don't know how to explain him aside from that.

他是乔伊的竞争对手。

He's he's Joey's competitor.

对吧？

Right?

所以这事有点敏感。

That's why this is kinda touchy.

我和他通话是因为他是个很酷的人，买了我的课程，还带我了解了他根据我的课程创造的内容。

So I hopped on a call with him because he was a cool dude, bought my course, and he walked me through what he created from my course.

我们讨论的第一件事是，我主动提出帮他梳理，这基本上是一个变得更一致、更协调的实践过程。

And the first thing that we went over, like, I offered to go through it for him, it was pretty much a practice of becoming, like, more congruent, more aligned.

对吧？

Right?

这激发了我淘汰那些目前不符合目标的事物的想法。

And that kind of sparked ideas for eliminating things that I'm doing right now that aren't aligned.

说实话，我甚至都记不清自己放弃了哪些事情，因为它们对我来说根本不重要，就像你能看出来的一样。

And let me tell you, like, I I can't even remember the things that I stopped doing because they're the they're just not important to me, like, as you can tell.

而且这种情绪提升特别疯狂，尤其是之后那差不多半周时间里。

And what like, a crazy boost in mood, especially especially for, like, a few like, half a week after that.

对吧？

Right?

因为如果记忆不新鲜了，我就得重新花功夫提醒自己。

Because then, like, if it's not fresh in my mind, it I have to do the work and remind myself of it.

但那之后的四天里，我感觉自己完全走在正轨上，状态好得不得了，

But, like, those four days after is, like, I am I am very well aligned, and I feel fucking great about

确实。

it.

是的。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

我非常清楚自己的注意力、优先级和时间应该放在哪里，以及现在应该做什么。

I know exactly where my focus and priorities or time should go and, like, what I should be doing right now.

所以我完全认同这一点，但你提到的关于塑造自我的部分。

So I completely attest to that, but what you said about creating yourself.

对吧？

Right?

所以从听众的角度来看，他们可能会想：好吧。

So from from the perspective of someone listening to this and wondering, okay.

这可能是个糟糕的问题，但比如，我该如何开始塑造自我？

This is a bad question, but, like, how do I start creating myself?

因为比如说旅行常被当作寻找自我的例子。

What because let's say you the travel is always an example of finding yourself.

嗯

Mhmm.

对吧？

Right?

所以人们会考虑这个，但对一个刚上大学、18岁的年轻人来说可能不太现实。

So people think about that, but that might not be doable for an 18 year old that is just going into college or something like that.

那么在自我塑造方面，你的第一步该怎么做呢？

So in terms of creating yourself, what what is your what are your first steps?

我帮助人们自我塑造的方式是通过引导他们自问自答。

So how I help people kind of self author themselves is by asking themselves questions.

我特别推崇用纸笔记录，你只需要一支铅笔、几张纸和三十分钟，就能完成些惊人的事。

So I am a huge fan of pen and paper, and you can do some pretty incredible things with a pencil, some paper, and thirty minutes.

但首先要学会向自己提问。

But start asking yourself questions.

比如问问自己：我喜欢做什么？

So ask yourself questions such as, what do I like doing?

我不喜欢做什么？

What do I not like doing?

未来我可能想住在哪里？

Where may I want to live in the future?

我究竟想要什么？

What what do I want?

我理想的未来是什么样子？

What's my ideal future look like?

开始向自己提出这些问题，这将有助于引导你、指导你的决策和行动等等。

Start asking yourself these questions, and that will help start guiding you and guiding your decisions and your actions and things like that.

而第一个跟我实践这个方法的人，问了我一个很好的问题。

And somebody the first person that I got to do this, they asked me a very good question.

他们说：可我现在怎么可能知道所有这些答案呢？

They said, well, how am I supposed to know all this right now?

我思考了片刻，然后告诉他们：要知道，重点并不是要立刻获得所有答案。

And I thought for a second, and I told them, you know, it's not about having all of the answers right away.

嗯

Mhmm.

真正的关键在于发现那些你尚未想到的问题。

It's really about uncovering the questions that you haven't even thought of yet.

因为随着你发现更多问题，你就能向自己提出这些问题，并找到答案，或是找到能帮助你解答这些问题的人或资源。

Because as you uncover more questions, then you'll be able to ask yourself those questions and come up with the answers or, you know, find people or things that can help you answer those questions.

这样你就能为你的未来、价值观以及关于你的一切，打造出一个更加精细、详尽的愿景。

And so you'll be able to craft a much more fine grained, fine detailed vision for your future and your values and everything else about you.

但这一切都始于你尝试去做的决心。

But it all starts with you trying to do it.

就像我说的，最简单的解决方法就是坐下来，向自己提出一些问题。

And like I said, the very simple answer to that is to just sit down and ask yourself some questions.

然后从那里开始，你会得到更多问题。

And then from there, you'll get more questions.

最终，你将开始找到答案，采取正确的行动，并开始构建你真正想要的生活。

And then eventually, you'll start getting the answers, and you'll start taking the right actions, and you'll start building the life that you really wanna have.

这就是全部的意义所在，真的。

And that's what it's all about, really.

是啊。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

我深有体会。

I feel that.

这有点像那个漏水——不，不是漏水，而是像整个水龙头的比喻，你得先打开龙头让所有污垢流出来，然后清水才会出来。

It's it's kinda like it's that leaky or not the leaky, but, like, the whole faucet metaphor where, like, you turn on the faucet and all the gunk has to come out before the fresh water comes out.

写作过程也是如此。

It's the same with the writing process.

所以，妈的。

So fuck.

这又是那种普适性的理念，在很多不同场景下都说得通。

It it's another one of those, like, universal ideas where it makes sense for a lot of different use cases.

但对于这个具体的使用场景，你基本上就得直接开始行动。

But for this use case, specifically, it's like you kinda just gotta start doing it.

对吧？

Right?

你必须深入那些好奇心或兴趣点，就像我常说的，如果你受到我们这次对话的启发，那就记下真正启发你的内容，然后全力以赴地去研究它。

You gotta dive into those curiosities as or the interest, as I always say, like, let like, if you were at all inspired by us, this conversation, then make a note of what actually inspired you and then just start researching the fuck out of it.

对吧？

Right?

问问自己，今天是谁说了‘为什么不能是我’这句话？

And ask yourself, like, why who who was it today that said why not me?

有人私信我说他们采纳了‘为什么不能是我’这种心态，就是这样的。

Someone DM'd me and said that they adopt they adopted, like, the why not me mindset where it's like, yeah.

真的就是这样。

That that's really it.

凭什么你就不能做这件事？

Why can't you do this shit?

互联网充满了无限可能。

Like, you have the Internet is filled with possibility.

我们今天讨论的所有话题，可能都是通过互联网学习到的——通过研究、关注他人、与他人交流。

Like, if anything that we've talked about anything that we've talked about today, we probably learned on the Internet just by researching, following other people, talking to other people.

就是这么简单。

That's really it.

你只需要纵身跃入互联网的广阔海洋，从任意起点开始。

Like, you just have to throw yourself into the wide ocean of the Internet at a random starting point.

如果你想开网店，我理解作为新手的感受——完全摸不着头脑。

Like, if you wanna start an online business, and I know how it feels as a beginner where it's like, have no idea.

我完全不知道这到底需要做什么，毫无头绪。

Like, I have absolutely zero idea of what that even entails, like, anything at all.

就像这样：好吧，

It's just like, okay.

去谷歌或YouTube搜索'如何开网店'。

Go to Google or YouTube, search up how to start an online business.

没错。

Yep.

尽管这听起来很模糊，但你会发现那里都是些非常浅显的内容。

And as vague as that is, you'll you'll find very surface level content there, I feel.

就像你最初会找到一些肤浅的内容，就像推特上的陈词滥调。

Like, you'll find surface level content at first and just like platitudes on Twitter.

虽然都是些表面内容，但你必须愿意更深入地探索这些兴趣和好奇心。

Like, it's surface level content, but then you have to be willing to dive into those interests and curiosities more.

比如你在那个视频里听到了关于在线业务的内容，关于学习一项技能。

Like, you've you hear something in that video about online business, about, learning a skill.

这就是你的第一个线索。

There's your first one.

如果你想成为自由职业者或创办代理机构之类的，你需要学习一项或一系列技能。

Like, if you wanna be a freelancer or start an agency or anything, you need to learn a skill or a stack of skills.

所以就像你在视频里看到的那样。

So it's like, you see that in the video.

你在视频里听到了这个。

You hear that in the video.

你在YouTube上又输入了一个搜索。

You type in another search on YouTube.

2021年最值得学习的技能有哪些？

What are the best skills to learn in 2021?

嗯。

Mhmm.

我觉得你可能会接触到电子邮件营销、潜在客户开发

And I feel like you'll probably come across email marketing, lead generation

文案写作。

Copywriting.

文案写作、网页设计与开发。

Copywriting, web design and development.

然后就是，好吧。

And then it's like, okay.

其中有一个引起了我的兴趣。

One of those piques my interest.

对我来说，当时是网页设计。

For me, it was web design at the time.

于是我又上了YouTube，我记得我搜索了类似‘程序员能赚多少钱’这样的内容。

So I, again, went on YouTube and looked up I believe I looked up, like, how much do coders make.

对吧？

Right?

我当时对编程从何开始完全没有概念。

And I had zero idea what like, where to start with coding.

这让我深入探索了前端和后端的区别，了解到前端主要是HTML、CSS和JavaScript。

And then that took me down a huge rabbit hole of learning what front end and back end is, understanding that front end is mostly HTML, CSS, JavaScript.

我就想，好吧。

It's like, okay.

我得从这里开始。

I gotta start there.

我们一起看YouTube上的HTML视频吧。

Let's watch YouTube videos on HTML.

当时我他妈完全看不懂。

Made zero fucking sense to me at the time.

是啊。

Yeah.

现在觉得简单得要命，但当时完全搞不明白。

Like, it's it's so goddamn simple now, but it made zero sense to me at the time.

所以我就想，好吧。

So it's like, okay.

那个HTML视频里说的标签到底是什么鬼？

In that HTML video, what what the fuck is a tag?

标签是什么意思？

What does a tag mean?

于是我去谷歌上查了查。

So I looked that up on Google.

对吧？

Right?

你知道吗？

What do you know?

我搞明白了标签是什么。

I figured out what a tag was.

最后我在Udemy上找到了一门课程，就是那个完整的全栈开发者训练营。

I ended up finding a course on Udemy, the the total the complete developer web developer boot camp.

我像信徒一样认真学完了它。

I've watched that religiously.

我学到了超多东西，老兄。

I learned so much, dude.

要不是那门课，我根本不可能找到网页设计的工作。

If it was not for that course, I wouldn't have gotten a job in web design at all.

一点机会都没有。

Zilch.

所以说，这充分证明了全身心投入你的兴趣、通过探索这些兴趣来塑造自我是多么强大的力量。

So that that's one testament to how this whole, like, diving into your interest, creating yourself by diving into those interests is so absolutely powerful.

对吧？

Right?

是啊。

Yeah.

我的意思是，无论是想提升自我、发展事业、经营感情或家庭，还是其他任何目标，归根结底都在于付诸行动并持之以恒。

I mean, it all boils down to whether you're trying to grow yourself or you're trying to grow a business or you're trying to grow a relationship or a family or whatever, whatever you're trying to do, it it all boils down to doing the work and being consistent about it.

如果你不知道具体该怎么做——因为我知道光说'行动起来'很容易，

And if you don't know how to do the work, because I know it's easy to say, well, just do it, man.

比如'你怎么回事？'

Like, what's wrong with you?

直接去做就是了。

Just do the work.

但我不知道方法啊。

I don't know how.

去学习。

Go learn.

你知道，就像你刚才说的，互联网上有大量免费信息，还有像Udemy这样的平台。

You know, the there's a like you just said, there's a massive amount of free information on the Internet, but there's also uni Udemy.

还有可汗学院。

There's Khan Academy.

还有其他竞争对手，比如Udemy。

There's other competitors, Udemy.

推特上有人持续发布免费内容。

There's people on Twitter who are putting out constant free content.

还有像你正在建设的这样的社区。

There's communities like the one that you're building.

有Gumroad上的产品，你知道的，这类资源应有尽有。

There's Gumroad products that you know, there's all this stuff.

还有教练指导服务。

There's coaches.

教练指导基本上就像作弊码一样。

Coaching is like a cheat code, basically.

要知道，虽然有很多选择，但你必须真正开始尝试，并且持之以恒。

You know, there there there are options, but you have to start actually trying, and then you have to be consistent with it.

你还必须从一开始就接受一个事实：这件事会很艰难。

And you also have to embrace the fact that from the very start, you have to embrace the fact that it's gonna be hard.

不，这将会是一场苦战。

Not it's it's gonna be a struggle.

就像你说的，当你刚开始接触网页设计时，你连标签是什么都不知道，但这只是你不懂的知识点，后来你学会了。

Like you said, when you're getting into web design stuff, you know, you didn't know what a tag was, and that's just something that you didn't know, so you learned.

你看，你因此进步了。

You know, you got better from it.

你必须尝试、失败，然后从失败中学习。

You have to try and fail and then learn from that failure.

再次尝试，你就会开始成功。

Try again, and you'll start succeeding.

比如，我回顾一个月前，尤其是几个月前我在事业上的状态。

Like, I I look back on where I was at in my business even a month ago, but especially months ago.

有很多事情我当时根本不知道怎么做，这让我感到非常不知所措。

There's a lot of stuff I just didn't know how to do, and it was really overwhelming to me.

但我还是咬牙坚持，向像你这样的人求助，通过谷歌、YouTube、Udemy等各种渠道摸索着取得进步。

But I struggled along, and I asked people like you for help and Googled and YouTube and Udemy and all this stuff, and, like, scratched and clawed my way into making progress.

现在回头看，我觉得自己当时真的应该...

And looking back, I'm like, man, I really should've.

那些事情其实特别简单。

Like, it was so simple.

但我还是边学边做，最终完成了。

But I learned and I did it.

我知道六个月后回头看现在的自己，肯定会觉得当时明明可以赚更多钱的。

And I know that six months from now, I'm gonna look back on myself right now and be like, man, like, could've been making so much more money.

如果我早知道这些，本可以为客户和社区创造更大影响力的。

I could've been making so much more of an impact for my clients and my community if only I had known all this stuff.

但我必须学习，然后付诸实践。

But I have to learn, and then I have to do it.

嗯。

Yep.

是啊。

Yeah.

这就是不断摸索的过程。

It's the it's the whole figuring it out.

对。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

这才是你必须掌握的核心要点。

Like, that that's all that's the main thing you have to adopt.

比如说，如果你不知道如何坚持做某事，直接他妈的谷歌搜索'如何保持坚持'。

Like, if if you don't know how to stay consistent with something, fucking Google, how do I stay consistent?

别让那种情况发生，就是别停在那里。

And do not let that, like don't stop there.

嗯。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

就像，你可以阅读相关内容，然后它会带你深入那个巨大的兔子洞。

Like, you can read that and then it'll take you down that huge rabbit hole.

我个人认为，一开始这绝对是必要的。

And I I personally believe that that's absolutely necessary at first.

然后你可以回到对话的前面部分，关于不要沉迷于整个自助的事情，而是真正将其应用到你的生活中。

And then you can go back to the previous part of this conversation about not getting addicted to the whole self help self help thing and actually implementing it in your life.

对吧？

Right?

这些东西是有层次的。

There's there's levels to this stuff.

但第一阶段是要能够自己摸索，或者直接花钱买课程、请教练，这些能让你快速进步。

But the first level is being able to figure it out on your own or just paying for a course or coaching or something that will give you that fast forward.

但我确实认为你应该先自己尝试并犯些错误。

But I do think you should have a little bit of trial and error on your own at first.

就像，你不能随便花钱买一个自己不感兴趣的课程，仅仅因为它承诺能让你赚大钱——因为你根本不会认真学完。

Like, it like, you can't just pay someone like, buy a course that you're not interested in that is promised to make you a lot of money because you're never gonna read through it.

即便你真的学完了，可能坚持做两三周就会放弃。

And if you do read through it, you might be doing something for three like, two weeks, and then you quit.

我认为这就是很多人放弃的主要原因。

And I I think that's a big reason why a lot of people quit.

对吧？

Right?

我自己就经历过——买了门Facebook广告课程。

Like, I did that myself where I went through a Facebook ads course.

还学过SEO课程。

I went through an SEO course.

我上过网页设计课程。

I went through the web design course.

我尝试过所有这些不同的东西，但没有一个真正让我坚持下去，因为我从未真正对它们感兴趣过。

I went through all of this different stuff, but none of them really stuck with me because I was never really interested in them.

我从未真正对它们产生过好奇心。

I was never really I was curious about them.

我...好吧。

I okay.

我对它们感兴趣过。

I was interested in them.

我对它们感兴趣过，但我没有从长远角度考虑。

I was interested in them, but I didn't think long term about it.

比如，这是否真的是我会享受做的事情。

Like, if it was something that I would actually enjoy doing.

现在我说的不是热情，因为我知道这最近成了个半热门话题，人们会说'不要把热情变现，否则它只会变成另一份工作'。

And now I'm not talking about passion here because I know that this has been a semi hot hot topic recently where, like, people say, like, oh, don't monetize your passion because it'll just become another job for you.

比如，它就不再是你的热情所在了，这一点我...我不太认同？

Like, it won't be your passion anymore, which I I can I don't believe that?

只要你有其他领域，以及背后的意义，我相信这是可持续的。

As long as you have other areas and, like, the meaning behind it, I do believe that that is sustainable.

但总的来说，它必须是你喜欢的事情。

But in general, like, it has to be something that you enjoy.

就像，如果你...我他妈的根本不在乎一份工作。

Like, if you're I I could give a fuck about a job.

比如，如果你必须做一份不喜欢的工作才能得到你喜欢的工作，或者你可以建立一个你喜欢的在线业务，那就去做你必须做的。

Like, if you have to get a job that you don't enjoy so you can get another job that you enjoy or you see you can build an online business that you enjoy, then, yeah, do what you have to do.

但你不会仅仅为了钱而开始一个在线业务。

But you're not starting an online business just for the money.

这是不可持续的。

That's not sustainable.

我们都知道这一点。

We all know that.

我自己就亲身经历过。

Like, I've experienced it myself.

我开始做Facebook广告是因为它看起来是快速赚钱的捷径。

I started Facebook ads because it seemed like a very quick way to make money.

相比网页设计这类工作，它似乎更容易获得客户，而我当时纯粹是为了钱。

It seemed like an easier way to land clients compared to something like web design, and it I I was in it for the money.

我当时想的是三个月内要达到月入一万，但始终没实现——因为我他妈的根本不喜欢这行。

It's like, within three months, I wanna be able I wanna be at 10 k a month, but I never got there because I didn't I didn't fucking like it.

我不喜欢客户开发的过程。

I didn't like the outreach process.

我也不喜欢真正帮别人投放广告。

I didn't like actually running the ads for people.

总之就是全方位地无聊。

Like, it was just boring all around.

所以我缺乏那种让它真正运转起来的内在驱动力。

And so I didn't have that intrinsic drive to actually make it work.

就像做其他事情一样，我可以轻松搞定。

Like, I with other things, I could make it work pretty easily.

对吧？

Right?

这就是我对这件事的看法。

So that's my 2¢ on all of that.

刚才有点激动了。

Kinda got a little heated there.

是啊。

Yeah.

我是说，我完全同意这点。

I mean, I I completely agree with that.

这正好和我刚才说的'契合度'问题相关。

And that that right there relates to what I was talking about a little bit ago about alignment.

你知道，就是...嗯。

You know, it with Mhmm.

你提到的那个例子，你其实没仔细想过，比如这真的是我想做的事吗？

The example that you're talking about, you hadn't really thought about, like, is this something I really wanna do?

更多是觉得，嗯，这听起来是个热门技能能赚钱，所以我要学会它。

It was more so, well, this sounds like it it's a hot skill and it'll make me money, so I'm gonna learn how to do it.

懂我意思吗？

You know?

这主要是因为我的主要辅导对象是企业家和创业者，而企业规模可以迅速扩张。

And that's that's because I mainly coach entrepreneurs, people who own businesses, and businesses can scale really quickly.

就像，好吧。

It's like, okay.

不错。

Cool.

你开始赚钱了。

You're making money.

然后呢？

Now what?

然后，你知道，前几天有人问我。

And then, you know, I had some guy ask me the other day.

他就问，你...或者我说，接下来呢？

He's like, what do you or or I was like, what's next?

他反问，什么叫接下来呢？

And he's like, what do you mean what's next?

我就说，那这样做的意义是什么？

And I was like, well, what's the point?

你做这些是为了什么？

Like, what are you doing this for?

你懂我意思吗？你有想过这个问题吗？

You know, like, have you thought about that?

然后我就滔滔不绝地讲了我个人的例子，比如我未来两年的大致人生计划。

And I ranted about my my personal example, like, my loose plan for the next two years of my life.

你知道的，我有个模糊的大致计划。

You know, I have some vague a vague plan together.

显然，虽然不涉及具体日期之类的细节，但我确实有个想法。

Obviously, not specific dates or anything, but I have an idea.

这对人们来说是个新视角，因为他们会说，'你看，我已经或正在实现目标'，而我只是回应，'好吧。'

And I that's that's a new perspective for people because they're like, well, you know, I made it or I'm making it to where I wanna be, but I was like, okay.

好吧。

Okay.

那么，接下来呢？

Well, what's what's next?

你知道的，比如之后你想做什么？

You know, like, what do you wanna do after this?

比如说，你想永远做网页设计这行吗？

Do you wanna stay in web design, for example, forever?

你想十年二十年都干这个吗？

Like, do you wanna be doing this for ten or twenty years?

我不打算这样。

I'm not.