第10集 - 惊奇号战舰（第4部分）

然后她在我伤口上撒了点盐，说你本该娶索菲的。

And then she kind of dumps a bit of salt in the wound to me there where, you know, she says you really should have married Sophie.

她对很少的东西就会感到满足。

She would have been content with very little.

天哪。

Like, oh, gosh.

但值得称赞的是，她接着说，你从来不会为她感到羞耻。

But to her credit she goes on to say, and you would never have been ashamed of her.

嗯。

Yeah.

这或许是斯蒂芬情感故事中迄今为止的情感高潮，尽管未必是他的职业故事。

And this is the emotional high point all maybe not Stephen's professional story, but all of Stephen's emotional story so far.

我们花了三本书才走到这里，看着他获得向戴安娜求婚的机会，而她却让这份心意在他面前彻底落空，真的很难受。

We've taken three books to get here and it's really tough to see him get this opportunity to propose to Diana and for her to basically let this fall flat at his feet.

在他冒险一试之前，我们只看到他一个细微的情感信号——作为虔诚的天主教徒，他画了个十字。

And we get one little emotional signal from him at the outset, which is him crossing himself as a good Catholic before he takes this big chance.

当她说‘史蒂文，你不舒服吗？’时，我们从中得到了他反应的暗示。

And we get the hint from her as to what his response is when she says, Steven, are you unwell?

对。

Right.

他无法开口，可怜的家伙独自一人待在这所房子里，面对着他深爱的女人，而她却把他归为朋友，他鼓起全部勇气，赌上了自己的尊严，却一无所获。

He can't speak, poor guy is left in this house alone with a woman he loves and she's put him in the friend zone and he's put all of his courage and his status as a man out on the line and got nothing for him.

是的。

Yeah.

这在某种程度上令人无比心碎，因为我们爱史蒂文。

It's really devastating in a way because we love Steven.

我们也想说，她不是那个对的人，但我知道她就是那个对的人。

And we also wanna say, this is not the woman, but I know it is the woman.

在你心里，她就是那个对的人。

In your mind, it is the woman.

现在她会稍微照顾他一下，或许因为她不明白他为何如此崩溃。

And now she's going to kind of nurse him a little bit because perhaps she doesn't understand why he's so devastated.

也许是天气太热了。

Maybe it's the heat.

你应该穿上坎宁的一件长袍。

You should put on one of Canning's gowns.

我正在为你准备一间房间。

I'm preparing a room for you to stay in.

就在这时，坎宁走了进来，我认为史蒂文这时又重新振作了起来。

And then lo and behold, Canning walks in and Steven now I think kicks back into high gear a little bit.

他的智能助手帕克再次活跃起来，心想：天哪，他在外面待了多久了？

His intelligent agent, Park, coming alive again and going, Oh my gosh, how long has he been out there?

他听到了多少这些话？

How much of this has he heard?

出口在哪里？

Where are the exits?

没错，正是如此。

Yeah, exactly.

而且它提到，与戴安娜的朋友会直言不讳地表达想法不同，坎宁却非常谨慎，表现得十分平静。

And it says that unlike Diana's friend who will tell you exactly what she thinks in this conversation, Canning plays it very close to the vest and seems to be just fine.

但他没有问起杰克，这有点反常。

But he doesn't ask about Jack, which is a little bit of a tip-off.

他立刻讲起一个故事，说回家真好，但他很伤心，因为他们的一个朋友——确切地说，是朋友的朋友——竟然插足了别人的婚姻，甚至钻进了婚姻的床榻，这太糟糕了。

And he immediately launches into a story about, you know, sort of good to be home, but he was saddened that a friend of theirs had had a friend you know, a friend of the friends had kind of wormed his way into the marriage and the marriage bed and how awful this was.

他和史蒂文来回讨论，当你拥有真正美好的关系时，根本不会有人插足进来。

And he and Steven are going back and and forth about how, you know, when you have a really good relationship, nobody worms their way in.

但这里其实透露出不少信息。

But it's a bit telling here.

确实如此。

It is.

他们说了，但又没明说。

And they're saying, but they're not saying.

他们在暗示，但又没真正暗示。

And they're hinting, but they're not hinting.

是的，没错。

Yeah, exactly.

于是，坎宁调来一队锡克卫兵护送史蒂文回去。

So Cunning calls a troop of Sikh guards to escort Steven back.

他说：晚上不能独自穿越这座城市。

He says, can't cross the city at night.

我认为这是坎宁在耍手腕，意思是：让我和我的人来照顾你，你赶紧离开我的地盘，别再靠近我的女人。

And I think this is a little bit of a power play by Canning to say, Let me and my guys take care of you and you get the heck off my property and stay away from my woman.

对，没错。

Right, exactly.

与此同时，杰克终于意识到坎宁和黛安娜即将抵达孟买。

What's been going on meanwhile, of course, is that Jack has finally woken up to the fact that Canning and Diana are coming to Bombay.

他之前完全不知道，而且还没意识到事情已经败露了。

He had no idea and he's really not realizing that the cat is already out of the bag.

他正忙着为17号做准备，想让史蒂文重新登船，保护他免受这一切影响，但对史蒂文的伤害已经造成了。

He's trying to get the ship ready for the seventeenth so that he can get Steven back aboard and protect Steven from all this but the harm to Steven is already being done.

史蒂文将由这些锡克警卫护送回住处，途中邦登告诉他，斯金普正在等他，情况紧急，需要他立刻回船，不容拒绝。

And Steven's he's gonna go back to his lodgings escorted by these seat guards to be told that by Bondan that that Skip is waiting for you when there's a devil to pay and he needs you on board right this second and he won't take no for an answer.

史蒂文不知怎的，对邦登说他会稍后就去。

And Steven somehow manages to say, I'll come shortly to Bonden.

他完全不明白邦登是怎么想的，居然还得回去，而且还得面对现实。

Have no idea how Bonden reconciles the idea that he's gonna have to go back and Right.

他很可能会被船长扒掉一层皮。

Probably have the hide off his back from the skipper.

史蒂文收拾妥当，打算去找迪尔谈谈。

And Steven cleans up and thinks he'll go and talk with Dill.

他想起自己一直戴着挂在脖子上的钱袋，想到之前曾打算把迪尔收留在身边，然后给她找个安身之处。

He remembers, I think he clutches the purse around his neck and he remembers that he had this idea of buying Dill into his own keeping and then finding a place for her.

对。

Right.

史蒂文这次重返市区的步行，引出了接下来的情节。

And this walk that Steven makes back into town gets us to this.

我认为我们俩都觉得，这是整个系列中最悲伤、最感人、最动人的片段之一——斯蒂芬和迪尔之间在短短几章中建立起来的关系和联系，就这样终结了。他看到一群人围在一具尸体旁，而那具尸体正是迪尔。

I I think we both think this is one of them, the saddest, the most poignant, the most moving parts of the whole the whole canon, really, as this relationship and this connection between Stephen and Dill that's been built up in just a couple of chapters is is dead, finds a crowd of people gathered around a body, and the body is Dill.

她被人抢劫并杀害，只因她身上戴着斯蒂芬买给她的珠宝。

And she's been mugged and murdered for the jewelry that Stephen bought for her.

我想我这里没有原文引述，但书中写道，他闷哼一声跌倒在地。

And he I think I haven't got the quote here, but it says he hit the ground with a grunt.

那个沉着、世故、精明、老练的斯蒂芬，完全无法应对这样的场景。

Like there's nothing about the Obernian or worldly or together or savvy Steven that's ready for this.

他看到她已经离去，意识到自己几个小时前刚送给她的那副手镯，竟成了她的催命符。

And he sees that she's gone and he sees that the gift of bangles that he gave her just a couple hours before had been her undoing.

奥布莱恩此前为我们铺垫了斯蒂芬与迪尔之间感人至深的情感联结，生动而真挚地展现了童年的欢乐与这份单纯爱情的温暖，而这一切，却突然被无情剥夺。

And with all of the build up that O'Brien had given us with the really touching display of connection between Stephen and Dill and with his very affecting and very sincere portrayal of the joy of childhood and the joy of this uncomplicated love is taken away from us.

这是一个令人心碎的时刻，我确信，所有读过《HMS 反叛者》的人，都会记得这一幕——作为读者，它实在难以承受。

A really heartbreaking moment and I'm sure many people, most people, all people who've read HMS Surprise remember this as one of the moments that is really hard to get through as reader.

当然，这绝不是你在疫情时期、纸巾紧缺时想读的桥段。

Well, it's certainly not the kind of reading you wanna be doing during a pandemic when tissues are in short supply.

确实不是。

It's really not.

确实不是。

It's really not.

说得好。

Well said.

他确实意识到，尽管他在生前未能好好照顾迪尔，但在她死后，他仍有机会照顾她，因为周围没有同她种姓的人，而葬礼必须由同种姓的人出资并操办。

And he does see that he still has an opportunity to take care of Dil in death even though he failed to take care of her in a way in life because there's no one of her caste around because the burial has to be paid for and carried out by someone of her caste and from within her caste.

史蒂文说：我属于她的种姓。

And Steven says, I am of her cast.

有一个非常感人的时刻，他宣称自己与她有亲属关系。

And there's a really touching moment where he he claims filial connection to her.

对。

Right.

他说：我属于她的种姓。

He says, I am of her cast.

朋友，去告诉那个女人，我会买下孩子，带他下去，处理火化的事。

Friend, tell the woman I will buy the child and take it down and attend to the fire.

有趣的是，我记得在还没当父母之前读过这本书，当时觉得这非常悲惨又苦乐参半；但随着时间推移，我反复重读这一段，它却变得越来越感人。

And it's funny, I remember reading the book I guess before I had kids and it was a very tragic and bittersweet thing and I think the more time passes and the more times I circumnavigate these books and reread this part, the more touching it is.

这是一段极为丰富的文字，我认为任何为人父母者都会对它产生特殊的共鸣。

It's a really rich piece of writing and it has a special connection I think for anybody who's a parent.

当你亲历过印度，我曾几次去过印度，亲眼目睹了那里人们的生活方式，感受到那种灵性以及社会中宿命与精神的特质，这段文字的意义就更深了。

It also means something more when you've been around India and I've been to India a few times and seen how life is lived and seen the spirituality and the kind of fatalistic and spiritual nature of society.

而接下来，史蒂芬照料火葬柴堆，向迪尔告别，知道这便是她故事的终点，整个过程却依然平静而充满救赎。

And then actually the aftermath, Stephen looking after the funeral pyre, saying goodbye to Dill, knowing that that's the end of the story for her, is still quite calm and quite redemptive.

想象史蒂芬在日出时分游荡于孟买街头，这对他而言是一种宣泄，这场可怕的事件甚至为他带来了一丝释然；我认为，这比书中几章前在圣保罗岩上风暴与阳光中的那种转变，更真实、更温暖。

Have this sense of Stephen wandering Bombay as the sun rises, and that there's been a bit of catharsis for Stephen and that this terrible event is even a little cathartic for Steven and I think that's a bit more real and a bit more wholesome than the transformation in the storm and in the sunshine on St Paul's Rock a few chapters ago in the book.

是的。

Yeah.

如果我可以继续说下去

And if I can go on

哦，当然。

Oh, definitely.

我认为在他们沿印度洋航行的早期，史蒂芬缺乏视角，他一直在思考自己与戴安娜的联系，以及她对爱情和关系的前景。

I think earlier on Stephen lacked perspective as they were sailing up the Indian Ocean and Stephen was mulling over his connection to Diana and her prospects for love and the prospects for a relationship.

史蒂芬在性格和与戴安娜的关系中犯的一个错误，我认为是他对一段关系和婚姻可能意味着什么缺乏真正的理解。

One of the mistakes that Stephen was making in his character and his connection to Diana was I think he really lacked perspective about what a relationship and a marriage might mean.

故事中发生了一些事情，比如中尉尼科尔斯的坦白，以及我们看到的所有隐喻和意象，比如海蛇的形象，这些都在警示我们：与人建立联系并非一片坦途。

And there were things happening in the story like the confession of Nichols, the lieutenant, and like all the allegories and the images that we see like the image of the sea serpent, all these warnings to say it's not a bed of roses being connected to someone.

我们被明确告知，史蒂芬对关系以及他与戴安娜的关系缺乏足够的视角。

We were being told that Stephen lacked perspective on a relationship and on his relationship with Diana.

我认为，戴尔的故事在某种程度上给了史蒂芬这种视角。

And I think that the story with Dale in a way has given Steven perspective.

严格来说，他至今仍未获得完全的洞察力，因为他仍在追求戴安娜。

Arguably, he still hasn't got perfect insight himself because he's still pursuing Diana.

但我认为，这种视角对史蒂芬来说将是至关重要的，甚至可能是救命的。

But I think that this perspective is gonna be vital and maybe even life saving for Steven.

我认为帕特里克·奥布莱恩想表达的是，我们都需要这种视角，去理解我们是谁，我们的生命多么短暂，以及我们如何被这些不断形成、重修又破碎的人际关系所塑造。

And I think Patrick O'Brien saying that we all need this kind of perspective on on who we are and how our lives are transitory and how we're formed by these perennially formed and renewed and broken again relationships with other people.

再次地，我认为这或许也反映了奥布莱恩本人与他家庭之间的关系。

Again, I think there's maybe some view of O'Brien himself and his connection with his family there.

是的。

Yeah.

你能想象一个史蒂芬和杰克从未成为朋友的世界吗？

Well, can you imagine a world in which Steven and Jack had not befriended one another?

而且，你知道，我现在在展望整个系列的情节，但你知道，如果他们没有像现在这样彼此介入对方的生活，他们的生活会有多么不同。

And as, you know, now I'm thinking ahead in the canon, but, you know, how different their lives would be without being in each other's lives like they are.

是的。

Yeah.

坎宁离开后，将史蒂芬托付给他的锡克士兵团，戴安娜在坎宁走后再次拦住他，说：史蒂芬，你知道，你向我提过一个请求，这让我有点意外。

As Canning has taken his leave and sending Stephen off with his pack of Sikhs, Diana catches him again after Canning leaves and says, Stephen, you know, you've made me an offer and it's taken me a bit by surprise.

我这里是在替她说话。

I'm I'm putting words in her mouth here.

是的。

Yeah.

你在送完使节返回途中，肯定还得在加尔各答停靠一次。

You surely have to dock again in Calcutta on your return from dropping the envoy.

那让我给你我的答复吧。

Let me give you my answer then.

史蒂文和戴安娜之间可能发展出一段长期关系的想法并未消失，她已经抓住了他——说她让他被吊在绳子末端或许不太公平，但我认为，一个不喜欢戴安娜的史蒂文的朋友看到这种情况会说：‘伙计，她可是把你吊在绳子末端了。’

The the the idea of a possible relationship, a long term relationship between Steven and Diana hasn't gone away and she's got him on it's not quite fair to say she's got him dangling on the end of a string, but I I I think a friend of Steven's looking at the situation with no great liking for Diana would say, she's got me on the on the end of a string, mate.

而且

And

我确实会这么想。

I I I sure would.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

当然。

Absolutely.

这有点残忍。

It is kind of cruel.

我认为作为读者，作为史蒂文的朋友，我们都很高兴他仍然保有这一丝希望，因为希望显然在推动着他。

And I think we're all glad as readers and as friends of Steven in in our role as readers, we're glad that he's still got that shred of hope because hope's clearly driving him.

但我们也忍不住想，伙计，如果史蒂文不再被这种希望和戴安娜持续的失望所折磨，对他来说会好得多。

But we're also thinking, come on fella, you know, be so much better for Steven if he wasn't perennially tortured by this hope and persistent let down from Diana.

当然。

For sure.

所以，迪尔故事的结局真的很悲伤，我们必须问自己，这对史蒂文的未来意味着什么？他接下来该如何理解自己，理解自己与他人的关系？

So this ending of the story of Dill is really sad and we have to ask ourselves what does that mean for Stephen next and where can he next go in understanding himself and understanding his connections to other people.

我曾寻找文学中人物成长与失去或夭折的孩子之间关系的联系。

I went looking for connections in literature between the evolution of character and relationships with children who are lost who die.

在陀思妥耶夫斯基的《卡拉马佐夫兄弟》结尾处，就有一个这样的例子。

And there is one at the end of The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoevsky.

我提到这一点，部分是为了炫耀我们做了一些研究，但主要是想说，这可能是奥布莱恩脑海中可能存在的联系，因为《卡拉马佐夫兄弟》结尾处伊柳沙之死与奥布莱恩故事之间存在一些惊人的相似之处。伊柳沙是一个男孩，曾与卡拉马佐夫兄弟之一的阿廖沙有过某种友谊，而阿廖沙是一名修士。

And I'll mention it partly to show off that we did some research but mainly to say well this could be a connection that O'Brien might have had in his head because there are some striking parallels with the end of The Brothers Karamazov and the death of a child Ilyusha Eliusha is a boy who has had a friendship of sorts with Alyusha, one of the Karamazov brothers who's a monk.

在结尾处有一场葬礼，我找到一篇很棒的论文，我会把这篇论文的链接放出来，它来自一个博客，论文指出，孩子的死亡对陀思妥耶夫斯基和这部小说而言至关重要，小说以孩子的死亡和一段呼吁人们不要遗忘、而应珍视这一死亡作为抵御未来罪恶的护身符的演讲作为结尾，似乎再自然不过。这位名叫伊柳沙的孩子正处于童年纯真与成年之间的边界，他的死亡激励着幸存者们走向团结与共融，而非像其他无辜者之死那样导致分裂与排斥。也许奥布莱恩也希望，斯蒂文与迪尔那令人悲伤的失去，未来能蕴含某种类似的意义。

And at the end there's a funeral and I found a great essay I'll put the link to the essay out it's a wordpress blog and the essay says that the death of the child is central to Dostoevsky and to the book it seems natural for the book to end with the death of a child and with a speech that orders that the death of this child should not be forgotten but rather be cherished as a sort of talisman against future wrongdoing and that this child Eliusha was on the border between childhood innocence and adulthood and that the child's death is an inspiration for union and communion among the people left alive rather than the splintering off and rejection that sometimes meets the death of other innocents and maybe there's some of that tone here that O'Brien's hoping that there's a meaning in the future for the story of Steven and and the sad loss of Dil.

这确实让我产生了强烈的共鸣，真是一次非常出色的调研。

Well, it certainly resonates with me in a really nice piece of research.

我的意思是，我记得在斯蒂文送走迪尔之前，当他去给她买手镯时，他心里其实并不希望迪尔跟他一起去戴安娜家，他早已厌倦了谎言、诡计和欺骗。

I mean, I remember right before Stephen sends Dill off, you know, he was thinking to himself when he went to buy her bracelets, the bangles, about how he really doesn't want Dill to go with him to Diana's house, that he's really tired of lies and subterfuge and deception.

但他还是决定买手镯，因为他知道，如果迪尔不跟他走，她就无法实现三个愿望，所以他愿意满足她三个愿望。

And he's then going to buy the bracelets because he knows that if Dil doesn't go with him, she doesn't get her three wishes, so he'll grant her three wishes.

但他一直在思考诡计与谎言的问题，他说，有些人——我相信戴安娜就是其中之一——拥有属于自己的另一种真相。

But he's thinking about this idea of subterfuge and lies, he says there's some, and Diana is one, I believe, who have a separate truth of their own.

像索菲和我这样的普通人，如果没有普通的真相，就什么都不是，完全一无所有。

Ordinary people, Sophie and myself, for example, are nothing without the ordinary truth, nothing at all.

没有了纯真与坦诚，他们就会死去。

They die without it, without innocence and candor.

事实上，绝大多数人远在寿终正寝之前就自我了断了。

Indeed, the very great majority kill themselves long before their time.

像孩子一样活着，像青少年一样面色苍白，在爱情中短暂闪耀，二十多岁便死去，加入那些在大地上愤怒不安爬行的可怜人。

Live as children, grow pale as adolescents, show a flash of life in love, die in their 20s, and join the poor things that creep angry and restless about the earth.

然后，令人不安的是，故事以多尔还活着结尾。

And then ominously, it kind of ends, Dill is alive.

多尔还活着，多尔依然纯真，我们希望，借助陀思妥耶夫斯基的这段引用，真正的美好终将由此诞生，源于对这份纯真的反思。

And here's Dill is alive, Dill is innocent, and we hope, along with the reference from Dostoevsky that in fact something good will come from this, this reflection on this innocence.

是的。

Yeah.

目前，我认为善仍存在于史蒂文自身和他的品格之中。

For now, I think the good's got to be somewhere within Steven and in his character.

当他返回舰船时，尽管失去的性质并非人人都清楚，但至少杰克明白史蒂文心碎了，他写信给索菲说：我本打算给他一记当头棒喝。

And as he returns to the ship I think it's obvious although the nature of the loss isn't clear to everybody it's clear to Jack at least that Steven's devastated and he's writing home Jack is writing home to Sophie saying I was ready to give him a trouble shot at Broadside.

我本想告诉他什么是真相，因为他无视了我让他立即登船的直接命令。

I was ready to tell him what what's what because he'd ignored my direct order to board the ship immediately.

他犯下了所有这些违反海军纪律的行为。

He had committed all these breaches of naval discipline.

杰克说，当我看到他时，我的心都碎了。

And Jack says, when I saw him, my heart failed me.

你无法想象他看起来有多悲伤和虚弱。

You would not credit how unhappy and ill he looked.

他被太阳晒得像当地人一样黑，但看起来却莫名地苍白。

He's as dark as a native with the sun, but yet he looked somehow pale.

更准确地说，是灰白。

Gray is more the mark.

我担心她，黛安娜，一定极其刻薄。

I'm afraid she, Diana, must have been most bitterly unkind.

尽管我们现在已在海上航行数日，且已恢复常规航线，他的情绪仍未好转。

For although we've been at sea for some days now, and although we're back on our regular course, his spirits don't recover.

我甚至希望船上能爆发一场温和的瘟疫，好让他振作起来。

I could almost wish for some benign plague to break out in the ship to rouse him.

哦。

Oh.

也就是说，史蒂文在人生中将要扮演一个新的角色。

Like, there's gonna be some some new role for Steven to play in life.

即使这意味着船上爆发疾病，也许这正是我们所需要的。

And even if that means disease aboard ship, maybe that's what we need.

对。

Right.

没错。

That's right.

所以，西玛回到了船上，惊喜继续，她的旅程将使特使斯坦霍普前往马来西亚。

So, Seema's back aboard ship, the surprise moves on with her journey taking Envoy Stanhope in the direction of Malaysia.

那里有谁呢？

And who is there?

谁能让事情变得更好？

Who could make things better?

谁能让一切再次好起来？

Who could make it all okay again?

我觉得一定是杰克。

I think it's gotta be Jack.

当然，只能是杰克。

Of course, it's gotta be Jack.

杰克正在寻找如何找到史蒂文的方法。

Jack is searching for how can I get to Steven?

有一个特别温馨的场景，史蒂文恰好走进了船舱。

And there's this really cute scene where Steven happens to walk into the cabin.

杰克一直在考虑向索菲求婚。

Jack's been thinking about marriage to Sophie.

他微微笑着，史蒂文问他：你在想什么？

He's sort of smiling and Stephen is asking, What are you thinking about?

你为什么这么开心？

What are you happy about?

他们开始了一段小对话，杰克说：‘你想不想看看，问问斯蒂芬是否想看看他年轻时的遗物？’并向斯蒂芬保证，这一定会，你知道的，让他的心情振奋起来。

And they get into this little conversation and Jack says, Would you like to see, ask Stephen if he'd like to see a relic of his youth and promises Steven that it will, you know, quote unquote raise his heart.

所以，你知道，你应该讲讲这个故事的开头，因为他们的旅程几乎和目的地一样精彩，伊恩。

So, you know, you should tell the beginning of this story because their journey there is almost as good as the destination, Ian.

当然，他们经过了我们最喜欢的地方——恋人洞。

Well of course it takes it via our favorite place as well which is the Lovers Hole.

它还巧妙地回溯了书中 earlier 的章节，因为斯蒂芬去过桅顶、主桅顶，但还没去过前桅顶。

It also has a nice flashback to earlier chapters in this book because Stephen's been to the Mizzen Top, he's been to the main top but he hasn't been to the foretop yet.

对。

Right.

杰克要带斯蒂芬登上前桅顶，而且是在船员们都在——这是星期天吗？

And Jack's gonna take Stephen up the foretop and on a day when the crew were all is this a Sunday?

我想是星期天。

I think it is a Sunday.

绝对是星期天。

It's Sunday absolutely.

船员们都在休息，享受他们的休息时间，杰克说我要提升史蒂文的士气，带他去前桅顶。

And the crew were all so the crew were all resting and they're having their time off and Jack says I'm gonna raise Steven Spirits and I'm gonna take him to the foretop.

他先带史蒂文去了前桅顶，而船长在星期天爬桅杆本就罕见，更何况还带着史蒂文，他们不是从危险的脚手架索具绕行‘情人洞’，而是从水手洞直接上去，意外撞见了一群皇家海军的水手——包括法斯特杜德尔在内的最棒的前桅顶水手——杰克听到一阵噪音，他的听觉捕捉到那声音：骰子咔嗒作响，那是非法赌局中在甲板上被罚五十下鞭刑的骰子声。

He takes him to the foretop first and as well as the skipper going up the rigging on a Sunday the skipper's going up the rigging on a Sunday and with Steven in tow he goes through the lovers hole not the badass hanging over your back way around the footwork shrouds he goes up the lubbers hole taking by surprise a bunch of HMS surprises, finest four top one including faster doodle and I love the description of noise that Jack hears his semen sense hears this noise, the noise of the clicking of the dice, the deadly illegal 50 strokes at the gangway dice.

对。

Right.

这太棒了。

And this is great.

杰克这时有机会为所有人开脱：他说，‘我正带我的朋友去前桅顶，这是他第一次去，我想让他看看有趣的东西。途中我碰巧发现我的船员在赌博，但我不会告发他们。’法斯特杜德尔迅速把骰子塞进嘴里，正站在那儿发愣，而史蒂文完全没意识到发生了什么，只是问：‘那边怎么样啊？’

Jack Jack Jack gets the chance to redeem everybody here because he goes, I'm taking my friend up to this great journey to the four top he's never been there I'm gonna show him something that's really fun and on the way I encountered my crew gambling I'm not gonna darn think about this Fasterdoodle swipes the dice into his mouth and he's kind of standing there and Steven not realizing any of this says 'Okay how's it going there?

接下来说到那根大黄了吗？

Did the rhubarb answer?

你的肠胃又出问题了吗？

Are your bowels behaving again?

让我看看你的舌头。

Show me your tongue.

对！

Right!

然后杰克为他的船员开脱，说：‘不不不，医生，现在我们不需要知道这些。’

And then Jack covers for his crumbler going no no no doctor we don't need to know about that right now.

我们不会现在让他在星期天展示舌头，他显然在想：‘伙计，别让我看到那些骰子，赶紧回到甲板上去。’

We're not gonna now don't ask him to show his tongue on a sundae and he's obviously going you mate don't let me see those dice and get yourself back down on deck.

顺便说一下，前桅顶盖的存在以及上面的遗物表明，只是前桅顶而不是整个前桅在风暴中受损，因此我很高兴自己注意到了这一点。

And by the way the fact that the foremast cap exists and it has this relic suggests that it was just the foretop master not the whole foremast that was lost in the storm so I feel good about having spotted that.

观察得很仔细。

Well spotted.

那件遗物。

The relic

位于方形孔洞宽大的边缘上，所以杰克去的不是前桅顶，而是前桅顶的顶端，那里还有一个更高的平台，上面刻着清晰深刻的字母‘J A’，两侧是丰满的轮廓，可能是海牛，但更可能是美人鱼——正喝着啤酒。我很喜欢杰克问斯蒂芬：‘这难道不会让你心潮澎湃吗？’老实说，我认为斯蒂芬并没有完全理解其意义，但他意识到杰克是在鼓励他欣赏这一幕，而他似乎并未意识到这是杰克年轻时雕刻的。不过杰克后来解释了，我认为斯蒂芬确实被这种体验深深震撼了——你可以称之为‘泰坦尼克号’式的高处前部时刻，站在船首高处，欣赏这壮丽的景色。

on the broad rim of the square hole that sat on the top mast head so he's gone not to the foretop but to the head of the foretop mast now they've got another stage higher with the initials J A cut deep and clear supported on either side by blousy forms that might have been manatees although mermaids were more likely mermaids drinking beer and I love that Jack asks Stephen does this not raise your heart and to be honest I don't think Stephen gets quite what it is and quite but what the significance he realizes he's being encouraged by Jack to appreciate this and I don't think he quite appreciates that this is a carving made by Jack in his youth although Jack goes on to explain that but Stephen I think is sincerely blown away by the what you might call the cape winds Leonardo DiCaprio Titanic moment of being high and forward in the ship and getting this glorious view.

哦，他说，我真感谢你，斯蒂芬说，你带我来到这崇高而危险的巅峰，这近乎顶点，这最高点。

Oh, he says, I'm truly grateful to you, says Steven, for you've brought me to this proud, perilous eminency, this quasi apex, this apogee.

你确实从精神和肉体上都提升了我的心情。

You have indeed lifted my heart in the spirit and in the flesh.

我现在决心每天都要攀登上去。

And I'm now resolved to mount up daily.

谢谢你，杰克。

Thank you, Jack.

干得好。

Well done.

嗯。

Yeah.

这才是朋友的举动。

That was the action of a friend.

确实如此。

It it it really was.

然后你就看到这一幕了，我特别喜欢，它一再发生：杰克因为自己开了那个关于提升史蒂文心情的玩笑而得意洋洋。

And then you get this scene of, that I love, that happens time and time again, where Jack is so tickled with himself for having given this joke about raising Steven's heart.

嗯。

Yeah.

你知道，他根本控制不住自己。

That, you know, he can't help himself.

你知道，它会升到甲板以上一百英尺的高度。

You know, it raises at a 100 feet above the deck.

你知道，我对你做过这种事，所有这些。

You know, I've pulled this off on you and everything.

而杰克就是控制不住自己。

And Jack just can't help himself.

他笑得前仰后合，脸都红了。

And he's laughing and his face is red.

而史蒂文，自从迪尔去世后就再没笑过，你知道吗？他说史蒂文不自觉地嘴角上扬，横膈膜收缩，呼吸开始变成短促而沉重的喘息，对吧？

And Steven, who has not smiled since coming on board from Dill's death, you know, said Steven felt his mouth widen involuntarily, his diaphragm contract and his breath beginning to come in short, thick pants, right?

太棒了。

It's awesome.

是的，我特别喜欢这一点。

And yeah, I love that.

我喜欢看到杰克因自己的幽默而大笑的样子。

I love that to see Jack laughing at his own mirth.

就像迪伦曾经说过的，没人比他更被自己那点小乐趣逗得开心。

As Dylan used to say, no one more amused by their own small bits of mirth.

不，这正是我们会一再回到的话题。

No, and it's something we're gonna come back to over and over again.

我想我们还会一再回到奥布莱恩的另一个主题，那就是他用‘也许’来压缩时间的手法。

Another thing that we're gonna come back to over and over again I think is one of O'Brien's things that he returns to is his description of maybe as a way of telescoping time.

他描述了船在蔚蓝海面上航行时的氛围与生活——天气晴朗，目标明确，船员们平静而愉快。

He just describes the tone and the life of the ship when she's sailing across blue water, sailing in fair weather, sailing with an end in mind and sailing with a composed and happy crew.

他描述了船的节奏。

And he describes the rhythm of the ship.

他说：圣石的碾磨声，黎明时甲板上拖把和水的声音，吊床被收起，早餐以及它诱人的香气。

He says, the grind of holy stones, the sound of swabs and water on the decks at first light, hammocks piped up, breakfast and its pleasant smells.

守望者不变的轮替，正午的太阳高度，晚餐，朗姆酒，老英格兰的烤牛肉在鼓声中为军官们准备，值班，撤退的鼓声，傍晚的炮声，收起顶帆，换班，这种生活以僵化的模式进行，被钟声尖锐而迫切的响声所打断。

The unvarying succession of the watchers, noon and the altitude of the sun, dinner, grog, roast beef of old England on the drums for the officers, quarters, the beating of retreat, the evening roar of guns, top sells reefs, the setting of the watch, this life with its rigid pattern punctuated by the sharp imperative sound of bells.

我认为这在奥布莱恩的写作中是一种象征，表明他认为这是一种美好的生活。

I think it's a a token in O'Brien's writing of how he thinks that this is a is a nice life.

这种宁静、重复、或许单调，但可预测、平静而稳定的生活，是让角色们感到安全并对自己状态满意的重要因素之一。

This soothing, repetitive, perhaps dull, but predictable and calm and stable life is one of the things that keeps the characters safe and feeling good about themselves.

这确实有其可取之处。

There's really something to be said for that.

也许在我们自己经历这些动荡时期时，增添一些结构、做点事情、维持日常运转，也颇有裨益。

And and and maybe as we go through these perilous times ourselves here, there's a little bit to be said for adding a little structure and doing a little something and keeping things going.

是的，一点结构，一点宁静。

Yeah, a bit of structure and a bit of stillness.

太棒了。

It's great.

是的。

Yeah.

不过，当节奏加快时，他们确实很享受，不是吗？

They do relish it when the pace hots up though, don't they?

有一场追逐，还有绝佳的航海天气，他们抛下测速绳，杰克非常兴奋，因为‘惊喜号’刚刚改装完毕，船体坚固、配重充足、适航性好，船底也干净，这意味着它正在全速前进。

There's this chase and glorious glorious sailing weather and cast the log and Jack's quite excited because surprise has been refitted, she's stiff and well ballasted and weatherly and got a clean bottom, that means she's making great time.

小个子水手和中尉们抛下测速绳，回来报告说他们正以11节航速、6寻深度航行，这速度相当快了。

The midgetman and the lieutenants cast the log, and they come back to report that they're running 11 knots and six fathoms, which is pretty brisk.

11节对于任何帆船来说都算得上是高速了。

11 knots is is is fast for any sailing vessel.

杰克把这一情况报告给了史蒂文。

And and Jack reports this to Steven.

杰克说：‘我们正以11节、6寻的速度前进。’

We're running 11 knots six, said Jack.

史蒂文说：‘哦。’

Oh, says Steven.

听到这个我真遗憾。

I'm sorry to hear it.

我非常担心。

I'm most concerned.

就没有办法了吗？

Is there no remedy?

没有。

No.

我认为我们可以猜测，这是否是史蒂文在参与调侃，试图削弱杰克的得意，给杰克那因速度而膨胀的自我一点泄气的空间。

And I I I think we're allowed to guess whether that's Steven joining in the banter and trying to undercut Jack and and and let a little bit of air out of Jack's personal balloon going so fast.

还是说他真的不确定，杰克声音中的兴奋是因为他们表现优异，还是因为他们即将撞上冰山。

Or whether he really doesn't know whether this excitement in Jack's voice is because they're doing great or they're all about to kinda crash into an iceberg.

对，对。

Right, right.

太好笑了。

It's too funny.

也许史蒂文接着说，我言下之意是纠正一下，且怀着极大的敬意，我本该料到，尽管这艘船以脆弱老旧、甚至衰朽著称，我们的进展仍是令人满意的。

And maybe Steven goes on, maybe he's joining in the banter when he says, well, I speak under correction and with great dividends, I should have supposed that our progress was satisfactory even though the vessel is notoriously weak and old, even decrepit.

这明显是杰克为这突如其来的惊喜而做出防御反应的迹象。

And this is a really obvious indication for Jack to fly to the defensive of the surprise.

是的，奥布莱恩在这次沉重打击后表现得非常好。

Yeah O'Brien's done a nice job here after this kind of devastating loss.

我们有了这些幽默和情感释放的时刻；事实上，我认为就在那之后不久，杰克以为他们追上了一艘船。

We've got these moments of humor and emotional release said, as a matter of fact, I think it's shortly after this, Jack has, they thought they had a chase.

结果发现那是一艘荷兰船。

It turned out to be a Dutch ship.

那是杰克在皇家海军时的一位老同事，现在正担任那艘船的船长。

One of Jack's old colleagues from the Royal Navy who's now captaining the ship.

他送给杰克一些羽毛，让杰克带回家给索菲，这些羽毛来自一种非常 exotic 的鸟。

And one of the things he gives Jack is these feathers to take home to Sophie from a very exotic bird.

杰克把这些羽毛给斯蒂芬看。

And Jack shows them to Stephen.

斯蒂芬看着杰克说：‘亲爱的，你有没有想过性这件事？’

And Stephen looks at Jack and says, Have you ever contemplated upon sex, my dear?

杰克从未说过。

Never said Jack.

性从未进入过我的脑海。

Sex has never entered my mind at any time.

当然，我们所有人都得说，哇，停一下，对吧？

Of course, all of us have to say, Woah, full pause there, right?

莫莉·哈特。

Molly Hart.

继续说，但史蒂文纠正了他。

Carrying on, but Steven corrects him.

你知道，他说，性的负担，我的意思是。

You know, he says, The burden of sex, I mean.

比如这只鸟，负担非常重，几乎被压垮了。

This bird, for example, is very heavily burdened, almost weighed down.

所有这些华丽的羽毛只有一个功能，就是诱使母鸟顺从他的求偶。

And all these extravagant plumes have but one function, to induce the hen to yield to his importunities.

杰克呢，你知道的，他就像说，哇，这真是个庄重的想法。

And Jack sort of, you know, it's like, wow, that is a solemn thought.

斯蒂芬谈到，如果拿走这一切，鸟类的生活会变得轻松许多。

And Stephen talks about how he could take away all this and how the bird would be able to get around life so much more.

然后他看着他，说：杰克，如果我阉割了所有的冲动，它们就会变得肥胖、平静且不具攻击性。

Then he looks at him and says, he says, Jack, were I to castrate all the surprises, they would grow fat, placid, and unaggressive.

这艘船将不再是一艘愤怒而匆忙穿梭各地的战舰。

This ship would no longer be a man of war darting angrily, hastily from place to place.

我们将环绕这个水陆交织的星球航行。

And we should circumnavigate the- The terraquious globe.

这就是我喜欢奥布莱恩的地方之一，我学到了这么多新词。

This is one of the things I love about O'Brien is I learn all these new words.

总有一天我会学会怎么念它们，对吧？

One day I'll learn how to say them, right?

如果没有一句严厉的话，也就不会因为错过利努瓦而感到失望了。

With never a harsh word, there would be none of this disappointment in missing Linois.

所以，史蒂文要阉割所有人这个想法，我们又回到了这艘实验性的船上，没错。

So I I this this idea of Steven castrating everybody, we're back to this experimental ship and Yeah.

就像杰里米说的，人类就像实验用的大鼠。

And like Jeremy said, humans as lab rats.

没错。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

正是如此。

Exactly.

正是如此。

Exactly.

我们之前说过，杰克部分希望某种疾病侵袭这艘船，这样史蒂文至少能回到他的职业，回到治愈的职责中，以此来让自己感觉好一些。

So we said earlier on that Jack partly wished for some kind of illness to beset the ship so that Steven could at least return to his profession and to healing as a way of feeling better about himself.

而他即将得到这一切。

And he's gonna get it.

他一定会得病的。

He's gonna get it.

尽管特使秘书阿特金斯与这位名叫艾哈迈德·史密斯的新副官之间发生了争执，但特使斯坦霍普本人却患上了一种奥布莱恩称之为“卡兰彻”的疾病。

While there's been some wrangling between the envoy secretary Atkins and this new melee aide, a person with the excellent name of Ahmed Smythe, envoy Stanhope himself becomes ill with something that O'Brien calls a calancher.

“卡兰彻”是一种过去被认为会侵袭热带水手的发热性谵妄症。

A calancher is apparently a feverish delirium formerly thought of as afflicting sailors in the Tropics.

所以我们并不清楚在现代医学术语中“卡兰彻”具体指什么，但可以肯定的是，特使正遭受着发烧和谵妄的折磨。

So we don't really know what in modern day medical language a calendure would be, but there's something going on with the envoy that means he's sick and he's feverish and he's delirious.

尽管一段时间内史蒂芬似乎成功帮助他度过了危机，但斯坦霍普特使仍然病得很重。

Although it does appear for a while that Stephen manages to get him through the crisis, envoy Stanhope is still pretty sick.

于是他们将他带到苏门答腊海岸附近一处锚地靠岸。

So they take him ashore as an anchorage found on the coast of Sumatra.

顺便说一句，他们在水深极深的海域抛锚，一直放尽缆绳，等待潮水转向，然后用浮标保留缆绳和最佳锚具，切断缆绳，拖船进入浅水区，靠近岸边，以便史蒂芬能进行手术。

And by the way there was a neat bit of seamanship as they anchored in very very deep water right out to the bitter end as they waited for the tide to turn and then they towed the ship in having left the cable and the best anchor buoyed they slipped that cable and towed the ship in to a shallow anchorage close into shore so that Stephen could operate.

而且我们似乎从未得知史蒂芬打算实施的具体手术程序是什么。

And I don't think we ever learned exactly what the procedure was that Stephen was gonna do.

我敢肯定，他不会进行颅骨钻孔，那是斯蒂芬以之闻名的另一种手术。

Pretty sure it wasn't gonna be trepanning his brain, which is the other procedure that Stephen's famous for.

我敢肯定，也不是耻骨上膀胱造口术，那是斯蒂芬以之闻名的膀胱手术，某种斯蒂芬认为可能对总督有帮助的外科手术。

I'm pretty sure it wasn't a suprapubic cystotomy, which is a bladder operation that Steven's famous for, for some medical procedure, surgical procedure that Steven thought might help the governor.

那是他唯一的希望。

That was his really only hope.

是的。

Yeah.

他唯一的希望。

His only hope.

而我们永远无从得知，因为根本没机会动手术——那位一直病重、被当作肝脏问题治疗、饱受严重晕船之苦的使节，整晚都被周围的声音吵醒，最终因精疲力竭而去世。

And and and we never get to find out because he never even gets to operate that the envoy who's been so sick and been treated for liver, been horribly seasick and everything else, actually is awake all night from the sounds around him and finally just succumbs from exhaustion and dies.

这不是很奇怪吗？

And it's odd, isn't it?

我想我们作为读者，对斯坦霍普并没有太多感情，尽管他是个令人同情的角色，或许有点虚荣，还被一群脾气暴躁的随行人员困扰。

I I don't think any of us as readers felt very much for stand up, although he was a sympathetic character, a little bit vain perhaps and beset with all these troubles of the cantankerous staff who traveled with him.

而在一项重要的任务面前，与迪尔的逝去相比，我们却几乎没有感到多少悲伤。

And on an important mission, compared to the loss of Dil, we don't feel very much, sadly.

船员们当然也没有为他哀悼。

And he's certainly not mourned by the crew.

我认为史蒂芬和杰克也没有为他哀悼。

I don't think he's mourned by Steven and by Jack.

也许这正是我们回到原点的时刻，重新回到本集开头引用的那句话。

And maybe this is the point where we get to come full circle and we come back to the quote that we started with at the beginning of the episode.

所以帕特里克·奥布莱恩写道：杰克望着船尾的窗户，凝视着远处逐渐消逝的陆地，如今呈现出暗淡的紫色，暴雨正倾盆而下。

So Patrick O'Brien writes, Jack looked out of the stern window at the distant receding land, dull purple now, with a rainstorm beating down on it.

他说：我们这一趟是白跑了一场。

He said, we came on a fool's errand.

而史蒂芬仿佛在回应似的，说出了这段话。

And Stephen, as though in reply, gives this quote.

你一路追逐，始终有野兽在前，你的战争一无所获，你的爱人皆为虚情假意。

All of the peace throughout, thy chase had a beast in view, thy wars brought nothing about, thy lovers are all untrue.

所以这是我的另一项研究，迈克。

So this is my other bit of research, Mike.

这段文字出自德莱顿的戏剧诗《世俗面具》。

This is taken from Dryden's dramatic poem The Secular Mask.

这首诗中的这三行诗句实际上是针对剧中三位角色而写的。

These lines, three of the lines in this poem, are actually addressed to individual characters in the play.

因此，'整个过程中都一致'指的是这三位角色在他们的努力中同样徒劳无功。

So all of a piece throughout refers to the fact that these three characters all were equally fruitless in their endeavours.

'你的追逐始终盯着一头野兽'这句是写给狩猎女神戴安娜的，如果你愿意，她也是 flirtation（调情）的女神。

Thy chase had a beast in view is a line addressed to the goddess Diana, the goddess of hunting and of flirtation, if you like.

她同时也是贞洁的女神。

Also the goddess of chastity.

对。

Right.

此外，一些评论家也认为，这首诗中的这段话暗指王室，即伊丽莎白一世女王或詹姆斯一世国王。

And also sometimes taken by critics to refer in this piece to royalty, to Queen Elizabeth I or King James I.

所以合唱队对黛安娜说：‘你的追捕中曾有猎物在目’，意思是，在你以为是一场单纯的狩猎背后，还有别的事情在发生。

So the chorus voice says to Diana, Thy chase had a beast in view, meaning that there was something else going on behind what you thought was a straightforward hunt.

对战神马尔斯，合唱队说：‘你的战争一无所获’，你奋力战斗、摧毁杀戮，但最终却毫无结果。

To Mars, the chorus says 'Thy wars brought nothing about, like you strained and fought and destroyed and slew, but it came to nothing.

而对于爱与情欲之神维纳斯，合唱队说：‘你的情人皆不忠贞’，因此你所追求的关系与欢愉都是虚幻的。

And to Venus, the goddess of love and eroticism, thy lovers were all untrue, so the relationships and the pleasure that you pursued were baseless.

我特别喜欢这一点，首先，我们提到了黛安娜。

What I really like about this is that first of all, we get a reference to Diana.

而奥布莱恩没有引用这首诗的最后两句。

And the final two lines of the poem O'Brien doesn't quote.

德莱顿的这首诗并非悲剧，尽管这段话听起来很悲观，但这四行诗只是整首诗结尾的一部分。

The Dryden poem wasn't a tragedy and this, although it sounds downbeat, this little collection of four lines is just part of the ending of the poem.

这首诗本身，或者说这部戏剧，是对十七世纪衰落的讽刺。

The poem itself, the play if you like, was a satire on the passing of the seventeenth century.

它是为了1700年的千禧年而创作的。

It was written for the millennium of 1700.

最后两行是乐观的。

The final two lines are optimistic.

所以我要念最后四行，以及奥布莱恩没有使用的那句结尾对句。

So I'm gonna do the last four lines and then the final closing couplet that O'Brien doesn't use.

整首诗中，你的追猎另有目标，你的战争徒劳无功，你的爱人皆不忠贞。

All of the piece throughout, thy chase had a beast in view, thy wars brought nothing about, thy lovers were all untrue.

旧年已尽，是时候重新开始了。

'Tis well an old age is out, and time to begin with anew.

我找到了这段话，微笑了。

So I found that and I smiled.

是时候以新的事物开始了。

Time to begin with something new.

我认为德莱顿整体，尤其是这首诗的基调，是典型的启蒙时代风格。

And I think the whole tone of Dryden in general, and this piece in particular, is classic Enlightenment Stephen.

我认为他想说，贞洁被高估了，战争毫无意义，爱情只是分心，人类唯一正确的追求，就是回到我们的行为实验室实验，即以理性和反思来观察事件与人。

I think he's saying, chastity is overrated, wars are pointless, love is a distraction, and the only right pursuit for mankind to go go back to our behavioral laboratory experiment, the only right pursuit for mankind is the observation of events and of people and illuminated by reason and reflection.

所以，我认为我们要为杰克喝彩，他救赎了所有人，把斯蒂芬带回了快乐的境地，提升了他的心灵；也要为德莱顿和启蒙时代喝彩，他们说：你知道吗？

So, I think we've got hooray for Jack for redeeming everybody and bringing Stephen back to a happy place and raising his heart, And hooray for Dryden and the enlightenment saying, do you know what?

我们可以通过理性和反思度过这一切。

We can get through all of this with reason and reflection.

而现在我们不禁想知道，我们还能靠理性和反思度过这一切吗？

And now we wonder, will we get through all of this with reason and reflection?

我们的使命完成了。

Our mission is done.

我们接下来去哪里？

Where do we head?

我们回家。

We head for home.

你知道，杰克一直想着有卷心菜和蔬菜的木屋，还有索菲，他想尽快朝那个方向去。

You know, Jack's been having this thought of cabins with cabbages and veggies and sofie, and he wants to head that way quickly.

斯蒂芬可能在想：没错，回家吧，但我们得先在加尔各答停一下。

Stephen's probably thinking, Yep, head for home, but we've got to stop in Calcutta first.

嗯。

Yeah.

你看到戴安娜了吗？

You see Diana?

她对他的求婚有什么回应？

What's her response to his proposal?

当我们最初创办《企业号》时，我们向读者承诺内容更精炼、动作更密集，能更快进入高潮，但现在的动作又如何呢？

And when we first opened HMS Enterprise, we promised our readers it was a bit shorter, there was a bit more action, we got to the action quicker, but what of action now?

他们在返回加尔各答和回家的途中会发生什么？

And what will happen on their journey back to Calcutta and back home?

这个惊喜会在这里得到回报吗？

Will this surprise pay off here?

《企业号》的余下部分还有什么安排？

What's in store for the rest of HMS surprise?

所以，我问你，伊恩，下次我们多读一点帕特里克·奥布莱恩的作品，你觉得怎么样？

So I ask you, Ian, what do you say to a bit more Patrick O'Brien next time?

迈克，我发自内心地这么说。

Mike, with all my heart.

这需要好几张纸巾，但真的很棒。

It is a multiple Kleenex job, but it's good.

今天早上我再读一部分时，像孩子一样哭了出来。

I cried like a baby this morning when I read over some of it again.