#1 身体形象专家：如何修复你与身体及食物的关系

我就在想，我干嘛把一整包都吃完了？

It's kind of like, why did I eat the whole thing?

我到底哪里有问题？

What's wrong with me?

我当时感觉完全失控了。

I felt so out of control.

明天我绝对不会再这样了。

I'm not gonna do this again tomorrow.

老是责怪自己，内疚，羞愧，嗯。

Beating themselves up, feeling guilty, feeling shame Uh-huh.

或者觉得，我这辈子都做不到这件事了。

Or like, I'm never gonna be able to do this.

我失败了。

I failed.

如果他们的目标是减肥，就会觉得我永远都瘦不下来。

I'm never gonna lose weight if that's their goal.

我到底怎么了？

What's wrong with me?

首先，你根本没什么问题。

So first of all, nothing's wrong with you.

这种情况太常见了。

This is so common.

你真的没问题。

Nothing is wrong with you.

第一步是要有觉察。

And the first step is awareness.

意识到这一点，比如：哎呀，这感觉真不好。

So identifying that like, wow, this doesn't feel good.

我反而还因此责怪自己。

I actually beat myself up over it.

这还影响了我第二天吃的东西。

And then it impacts what I eat the next day.

对吧？

Right?

然后又陷入恶性循环了。

And then it becomes that vicious cycle again.

可能你先节食，接着暴食，然后跳过一餐，再接着狂吃。

And then maybe you restrict, then maybe you overeat, then maybe you skip a meal, then maybe you binge.

这种情况不断持续，直到我们能停下来，好好看看眼下到底发生了什么。

It keeps going until we can find let's pause what's really happening right now.

你认为人们对情绪性进食最大的误解是什么？

What do you think the biggest misconception people have about emotional eating?

到底是什么呢？

What is it?

我觉得其中一个误解是，如果你有这种行为，就说明你有问题，但其实很多人都这样。

I think one is that something's wrong with you if you participate in it, which, again, so many people.

说实话，要是有听众说：‘我对她说的完全没概念’，我反而会很惊讶。

Like, I would be shocked if there was somebody listening that was like, I don't know anything she's talking about.

我可从来没干过这种事。

Like, I've never done that.

我确实干过。

I've done it.

我们都干过。

We've all done it.

所以我觉得最普遍的误解就是，你要是这么做，就说明你有问题。

So I think that's probably the number one is that something is wrong with you if you do this.

你根本没什么问题。

Nothing is wrong with you.

关键是你要弄清楚，如果这对你来说是个问题，如果让你感觉不好，那到底发生了什么？

It's about identifying that if this is a problem to you, if it doesn't feel good, what's going on?

为什么我会在这个时候去吃这些东西？

Like, why did I turn to this food at this time?

我常跟人说，如果你发现自己总在厨房里不停地开开关关橱柜或冰箱

So something I often tell people is if you find yourself in the kitchen opening and closing cabinets or opening and closing the refrigerator

你是说，每天晚饭后都这样？

You mean, like, every night after dinner?

对。

Yes.

这说明我们在寻找某种特定的东西。

Well, it's telling us we're searching for something specific.

所以我建议大家，停下来问问自己：现在到底怎么了？

So what I would tell people to do is pause and say, what's going on right now?

然后问一问：我刚吃过饭吗？

And then I would ask, did I just eat?

我上一次吃饭是什么时候？

When is the last time I ate?

我吃了些什么？

What did I eat?

有时候你刚吃完晚饭，但因为之前限制得太严，吃得并不满足。

Sometimes you may have just had dinner, but it wasn't satisfying enough because you were restricting.

所以你可能没在饭里加够能让你从生理上饱足、心理上也满足的实质内容。

So maybe you didn't add enough substance to your food to feel not just physiologically full, but emotionally satisfied.

然后你也可以问问自己，是不是真的没吃。

And then you can also ask if if you're like, no.

我刚吃完。

I just ate.

那顿饭挺满足的，又吃这个又吃那个。

It was satisfying this and that.

明白了。

Okay.

那现在到底是怎么回事？

What's going on?

哦，对了，今天工作特别累。

Oh, did I oh, I had a really tough day at work.

我感觉压力好大。

Oh, I'm feeling stressed.

哦，我刚打了个特别烦人的电话。

Oh, I had this stressful phone call.

我感觉很难过。

I'm sad.

我有点孤单。

I'm lonely.

然后你可以再深入一点，好好问问自己，现在到底是什么情绪在影响你。

And then to kind of dig deeper and be curious about yourself and what you're feeling right now.

我想确认一下，你刚才那三个问题都听清楚了。

I wanna make sure that you heard those three questions.

我再给你复述一遍。

So let me just repeat them back to you.

你站在厨房里，打开抽屉，想找点东西，结果突然停住了。

So you're in the kitchen, you're opening up the drawers, you're looking for something, the fur you you hit the pause.

这确实不容易。

Which is hard.

这确实不容易。

Which is hard.

对。

Yes.

但你正在教我们的，正是这一点。

But this is this is what you're teaching us.

你首先问自己：我上一次吃饭是什么时候？

The first thing you ask yourself is when's the last time I ate?

没错。

Right.

然后你问自己：那顿饭吃够了吗？

And then you ask yourself, was it satisfying?

接着第三个问题：现在到底发生了什么？

And then the third thing that you ask yourself is what's going on right now?

就是这样。

Exactly.

那我到底在找什么呢？

And what am I actually looking for?

对。

Right.

这就让你想得更深一点，因为你现在的感觉和真正想要的，很可能不在冰箱、橱柜或者冷冻室里。

And that makes you go a little deeper because what is going on and what you're looking for is likely not in the fridge or the cabinets or the freezer.

没错。

Exactly.

如果你真的是身体饿了，嗯，

And if you're physiologically hungry Uh-huh.

你就不会一直打开又关上。

You wouldn't be opening and closing.

你会打开冰箱，看到那碗水果，直接吃掉。

You would open the refrigerator, see the bowl of fruit, you eat the fruit.

明白了。

Okay.

对。

Right.

所以，呃，我只是想说，不好意思打断你。

So so you I I just wanna I'm sorry to interrupt you.

不是。

No.

我很想弄明白这个。

Love to get this.

是的。

Yeah.

当你真的饿了，从生理角度来说，你只是需要能量。

When you are truly hungry, meaning physiologically, you need fuel.

你会吃到任何你看到的东西。

You're gonna eat whatever's there.

你说得对。

You're right.

我不喜欢那种打开就往嘴里塞的做法。

I don't I don't I like open, grab, in mouth.

对。

Yeah.

比如你正要冲出门，但知道自己得吃点东西。

Like, you're running out the door, but I know I need food.

我就随手拿点看到的东西，赶紧走人。

I'm just gonna grab what I see and I'm gonna go.

根本不会多想。

You don't think too much about it.

是的。

Yeah.

这就是一个关键的区别。

So that's a big way to differentiate it.

另外，生理上的饥饿感是慢慢出现的。

So, also, physiological hunger comes on more gradually.

哎呀，都快到午饭时间了。

Like, oh, it's almost lunchtime.

我可以再等十分钟再吃。

Oh, I can wait ten more minutes to eat.

情绪性饥饿是那种，我现在就饿了，必须马上吃点什么来满足自己。

Emotional hunger is like, I am hungry and I need something right now to satisfy me.

但我可能会把它误当成真正的饥饿。

But I may mistake it for actual hunger.

没错。

Exactly.

明白了。

Okay.

作为心理学家，你会发现生理饥饿和情绪性饥饿的一个重要区别是，生理饥饿是慢慢出现的。

So one of the big differences that you see as a psychologist between physical hunger and emotional hunger is that physical hunger comes on more gradually.

对。

Right.

而情绪性饥饿就是，我现在就得吃。

Whereas emotional is like, I need it now.

就是现在。

Right now.

比如说，我

Like, I

刚打完一个特别 stressful 的电话，天啊，我特别想吃点东西，通常是高脂肪、甜食这类能安慰我的食物。

just had a really stressful call and, oh my god, I'm craving something, And it's usually high fat, sweets, comfort foods.

明白了。

K.

再说了，跟‘午饭马上就来了’不一样。

Again, as opposed to, oh, lunch is soon.

没什么大不了的。

No big deal.

我等十五分钟也没问题。

I can wait fifteen minutes.

确实如此。

It's so true.

这中间有区别。

Difference.

确实如此。

It's so true.

对。

Yeah.

压力是怎么影响你吃饭的时间、方式和内容的？

How does stress affect how, when, and what you eat?

是的。

Yeah.

再回到身心联系这个话题。

So back to the mind body connection.

对。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

压力，如果我们想想压力，其实是身体对某种威胁或看似威胁的事物的自然反应。

Stress, if we think about stress, it's our body's natural way of responding to some kind of threat or something that seems threatening to us.

不过现在，我想很多人都听说过‘战斗或逃跑’反应。

So now stress though, I'm sure people have heard of the fight or flight response.

这就是身体应对压力的方式。

That is the way that our body what our body does in response to stress.

我们都应该能感同身受，比如手心出汗、思绪纷乱、心跳加速。

So we can all relate to it, you know, maybe sweaty palms, maybe our mind racing, our heart beating really fast.

还是那句话，身心相连。

Again, mind body connection.

我觉得有些事情让人有压力。

I think something is stressful.

是我自己把它解读成有压力的。

I'm interpreting it as stressful.

我的身体会自动进入一种本能模式，帮我度过这段特别有压力的时期。

My body is gonna automatically go into this auto drive and help me get through this really stressful time.

这时候，压力激素皮质醇会和其他一些激素一起释放出来。

Now when that happens, the stress hormone cortisol, among other ones, is released.

当我们正处于极度紧张的时刻。

When we're really stressed in the moment.

很多时候，我们会没胃口。

A lot of times our appetite is suppressed.

嗯，对。

K.

但对有些人来说，情况完全相反。

For some people, it's the complete opposite.

是吧？

Right?

不过，刚一发生的时候，胃口确实会变差。

But, like, right when it happens, the appetite's suppressed.

我们就会想，哎，今天撑过去就行。

And we're like, oh, I can get through the day.

我不用吃饭。

I don't need to eat.

太忙了，都忘了吃东西。

I'm forgetting to eat because I'm so busy.

我压力太大了。

I'm stressed.

但等压力慢慢过去，身体开始恢复平静，回到正常状态时，你可能会惊呼：天哪。

But then when it kinda dies off and it starts like us returning to a homeostasis back to our baseline, it could be like, oh my god.

我饿坏了。

I'm so hungry.

对吧？

Right?

所以当人们经历特别大的压力时，你常会听到有人说：天哪。

So that's why when people go through really stressful times, you hear people either say like, oh my god.

我吃太多了。

I ate so much.

我停不下来，一有情绪就吃个不停。

I can't stop eating emotional eating.

对吧。

Right.

或者天啊，我居然忘了吃饭。

Or like, oh my god, I forgot to eat.

这很有道理。

That makes a lot

确实如此。

of sense.

两种情况都有可能。

It can go either way.

那当你的第一反应是靠吃来缓解情绪和压力时，有哪些方法可以应对呢？

So what are three ways to address emotions and stress when your default mode is to start emotionally eating.

那我们再回到暂停这一点上。

So back to the pause.

好的。

K.

对吧？

Right?

因为这场对话，希望大家都多了一些觉察。

So because of this conversation, hopefully, people are a little bit more aware.

然后我们就可以提醒自己：停一下，问问内心现在怎么样。

And then we can say pause, and let's check-in with ourself.

眼下到底发生了什么？

What is going on right now?

对。

Mhmm.

也别忘了对自己温柔一点。

Let's also not forget to be kind to ourselves.

对吧？

Right?

我们都参与其中。

Like, we all participate in this.

我们都会有压力。

We all get stressed.

生活就是这样。

Life happens.

所以咱们提醒自己，这没什么大不了的。

So let's just remind ourselves that this is okay.

那我能做点什么？

And then what can I do about it?

我特别喜欢聊聊我所说的应对工具箱。

And I always love talking about what I call your coping toolbox.

很好。

Great.

咱们从这个应对工具箱里拿点东西出来吧。

Like, let's pull from that coping toolbox.

给我一个工具。

Give me a tool.

对。

Yes.

其中一个是你自己就能做的。

One is something internal.

不需要依赖任何人。

You don't need anybody else for.

也不需要任何外物。

You don't need anything else for.

比如深呼吸练习。

That's like the breathing exercise.

也可能是其他类型的放松方法，像想象练习或者冥想之类的，至少还有另外两种。

Could also be a different type of relaxation exercise like imagery or meditation, things like that, than at least two others.

我之所以要准备多个方法，是因为如果我一压力大就想去跑步，总不能在当下紧张的时候直接冲出去跑步吧。

And the reason I want more than one is because if my go to coping tool was to go on a run, for instance, I can't just leave right here and go running in the middle of a stressful moment.

所以我们得有几个备选方案，毕竟不是所有应对方法在任何时候都能马上用上。

So we need to have a few options because not only is not all of the coping tools always readily available to us Right.

而且，也不是每个方法都适合所有压力场景。

But they may also not work for every stressful situation.

明白了。

Okay.

第一个方法就是呼吸练习。

So the first tool is we have the breathing exercise.

对。

Yes.

用鼻子吸气，通过吸管慢慢呼气，重点是腹式呼吸。

In through the nose, blow out the straw, the belly breathing.

这个我们已经有了。

We got that.

对。

Yes.

做三次。

Do three of those.

好的。

Yes.

行。

Okay.

下一个是什么？

What's the next one?

我不太会告诉你 toolbox 里该放什么。

So I don't like to tell you what should be in your toolbox.

嗯。

Okay.

因为如果你不喜欢跑步，那这个方法对你也没用。

Because if you're not a runner, that's not gonna be helpful.

我肯定不会去跑步。

Oh, I'm definitely not going for a run.

有个问题。

There's a question.

我会的。

I will.

不会。

No.

绝对不。

Definitely not.

所以，我跟你说该把跑步放进工具箱里，这对你没帮助。

So it's not gonna be helpful for me to tell you to put running in your toolbox.

确实如此。

That's true.

对吧？

Right?

所以我们得停下来想一想，好吧。

So we have to take a moment and think, okay.

当我压力大的时候，我实际会做些什么？

When I am stressed, what do I see myself actually doing?

出去散散步。

Taking a walk.

十分钟的散步，没错。

A ten minute walk Yes.

这对我真是个很好的调整方式。

Great reset for me.

我很高兴你提到这一点，因为我的跑步或散步，其实就是为了到外面呼吸新鲜空气，活动一下身体。

And I love that you said that because my running slash my walking is that it's getting outside, getting fresh air, moving my body.

你还能想到别的方法，加进你的工具箱里吗？

What's another one we could add in your toolbox?

那我是不是就别再情绪化进食了？

So I don't emotionally eat?

对。

Yeah.

把冰箱锁起来？

Put a lock on the fridge?

我不确定。

I don't know.

我该怎么做呢？

Like, how do I what what do I do?

关键是离开现场。

The key is escape.

比如，离开厨房。

Like, get out of the kitchen.

明白了。

Got it.

所以，也许可以拿本书看看。

So what's like, maybe get into a book.

对吧？

Right?

有什么好的转移注意力的方法，又不是因为真的饿了？

What is a good distraction that's not eating unless you're physiologically hungry Right.

能让你离开厨房几分钟的？

That's gonna get you out of the kitchen for a few minutes?

因为通常就十分钟左右。

Because usually, it's about ten minutes.

花十分钟做点别的事。

Do something else for ten minutes.

我跟别人说，如果你过了十分钟还是想吃，那就吃吧。

And when I tell people is if you really are still thinking about the food, go for it.

吃爆米花、冰淇淋或者巧克力都没问题，关键是你怎么吃。

There's nothing wrong with eating the popcorn or the ice cream or the chocolate, but it's how you eat it.

静下心来，慢慢享受爆米花，和压力大时一边看电视一边胡吃海塞，完全是两回事。

Taking the pause and mindfully eating your popcorn and enjoying it is very different than I'm stressed and I'm just gonna eat and watch TV.

对吧？

Right?

这差别可太大了。

It's so different.

关键在于你怎么吃。

It's about how you eat it.

如果你去散个十分钟的步

And if you take the ten minute walk

没错。

Yes.

回来之后要是还特别想吃爆米花，你多半会吃得慢一点。

Come back, and you're like, I really want my popcorn, you're probably gonna eat the popcorn slower.

我可能会倒进一个

I might pour it into a

杯子，没错。

cup Exactly.

而不是直接把手伸进袋子里抓。

Instead of just sticking my hands in the bag.

没错。

Right.

你会更享受这个过程。

You're gonna enjoy it.

但你很可能不会。

And you're probably not.

我不能保证，但你事后大概不会因此自责，因为这不是一时冲动的行为。

I can't guarantee, but you're probably not gonna beat yourself up over it afterwards because it wasn't an automatic impulsive act.

你就在那儿打断了那种自动反应。

You broke the automatic right there.

所以这就像对付情绪化饮食的十分钟法则。

So this is like a ten minute rule for emotional eating.

如果你能给自己留出十分钟的缓冲时间

If you can give yourself a ten minute buffer

从立即反应变成慢一点。

from immediate be less.

对一些比梅尔·罗宾斯意志更强的人，可能时间还能更短。

Maybe less for some for people that are a little stronger than Mel Robbins, like, could be less.

不过，我能理解这个方法为什么有效。

But, like, if I I can see how this would work, though.

对。

Yeah.

因为你之前教过我们，情绪性进食往往是下意识的反应，觉得现在就必须吃，经常是无意识的，之后还会自责，陷入循环。

Because some of the things that you've already taught us is that emotional eating, you're reacting, you need it now, it's often mindless, And then there's the cycle where you beat yourself up.

但如果我能深呼吸几次，或者出去散个步，离开十分钟再回来，那我就不再是被动反应，而是主动选择了。

But if I can either take a couple deep breaths or go out for a walk or walk away and come back in ten minutes, now I'm responding intentionally.

没错。

Right.

然后给自己一点空间。

And step yourself,

我就想要这个，这没什么不对的。

like, I want this, and that's okay.

对。

Yes.

我经常这么做。

I I do it all the time.

我的所有客户都知道，我几乎每天晚上都吃冰淇淋。

Like, all my clients know I have ice cream almost every night.

真的吗？

You do?

真的。

I do.

几乎每天晚上都吃。

Almost every night.

好吧。

Okay.

什么口味？

What flavor?

我特别喜欢。

I love it.

看那天家里有什么就吃什么。

Depends on what we have in the house that night.

但我就是喜欢。

But I love it.

我知道我会吃，也会好好享受，简直太棒了。

And I know that I'm gonna eat it, and I'm gonna enjoy it, and it's amazing.

我才不在乎呢。

And I don't care.

根本不会想到要为此责怪自己。

It is like, it the the thought doesn't come up that I'm beating myself up over it.

因为你吃是因为自己喜欢，而不是因为工作不顺就无意识地站在那儿吃。

Because you're choosing to do it because you like it versus mindlessly standing there because you had a terrible day at work.

是的。

Yes.

我还会等到孩子睡了再吃。

I also wait to have it until the kids are asleep.

这样能安安静静地享受。

I can enjoy it without chaos.

你懂的。

You know?

因为，说到底，也可能是看电视。

Because, again, it could be the TV.

也可能是别的什么事。

It could be something.

我们就会想，天哪。

We're like, oh my god.

我真吃了吗？

Did I even eat that?

我没怎么享受。

I didn't enjoy it.

我去拿点过来。

Let me go get more.

但如果我们能坐下来，慢慢吃，细细品味，这其实就是身体在那个时候需要的东西，这样没问题。

But if we can sit down and enjoy it and eat it slowly, it's like giving your body what it needs at that time and that's okay.

当你在情绪性进食方面有困扰时，我觉得很多人都误以为这是意志力的问题。

So emotional eating when you struggle with it, I think a lot of us make the mistake of thinking it's about willpower.

根本不是这么回事。

It's not at all.

那这到底是什么原因呢？

What is this about?

关键是要向内关注，真正停下来想一想。

It's about tuning inward and actually taking that pause.

我觉得情绪性进食其实可以跟孩子做个类比。

And emotional eating is I like to actually relate it to children.

孩子发脾气的时候，那是他们本能的反应。

When a child have his has a tantrum, that's their impulsive reaction.

对。

Yep.

我们大多数人可能会说，孩子闹脾气时得让他冷静一下，对吧？

They I mean, most of us might say we need a timeout, right, for a kid.

所谓的冷静，到底是为了什么？

What's a timeout really do?

就是让你停一停。

It's the pause.

就这么简单。

That's all it is.

所以我们大人也需要一个冷静期。

So we need an adult timeout.

孩子是在情绪驱动下做出反应的。

Kids are reacting out of their emotion.

我们其实也是被情绪左右，只是表现方式不太一样。

We are also reacting out of our emotion, but just in different ways.

我想稍微换个话题，再深入一点聊。

I wanna pivot a little bit and now go a layer deeper.

咱们来谈谈饮食失调的问题。

And let's talk about disordered eating.

作为心理学家，您会怎么定义饮食失调？它和单纯的情绪性进食有什么区别？

As a psychologist, how would you describe what is disordered eating, and how is it different than just emotional eating?

对。

Yeah.

所以会有饮食失调的情况

So there's disordered eating

好。

K.

饮食失调的行为，还有饮食失调的想法

Disordered eating behaviors, disordered eating thoughts

好的。

K.

然后还有进食障碍。

And then there's eating disorders.

这两者有什么区别？

What's the difference?

是两个不同的类别。

Two different categories.

是的。

Yeah.

进食障碍包括厌食症、暴食症和贪食症这些。

So eating disorders are things like anorexia, bulimia, binge eating disorder

好的。

K.

这些都被收录在《精神障碍诊断与统计手册》里，也就是我们心理学界开玩笑说的‘圣经’。

Which are disorders in the DSM, which is the diagnostic statistical manual, which is we joke, it's our bible in psychology.

好的。

K.

每种障碍都有明确的诊断标准，必须符合这些条件才能确诊。

So they have a specific set of criteria that you have to meet in order to be diagnosed with this disorder.

好的。

K.

饮食紊乱的情况要普遍得多。

Disordered eating, I think, is much more common.

我觉得大多数人多多少少都会遇到一些饮食紊乱的问题，比如想法、行为，或者对食物的态度出了问题。

And I think most people struggle with some sort of disordered eating, disordered eating thoughts, disordered eating behaviors, or their relationship with food.

好的。

K.

比如情绪性进食就属于这一类。

That could be things like emotional eating.

但它并不在《精神障碍诊断与统计手册》里被列为正式的进食障碍。

It's not in the DSM as a full diagnosed eating disorder.

嗯。

K.

也可能是不停地吃东西。

It could also be grazing.

不停吃东西就是一整天都在随便拿点吃的。

So grazing behaviors is like just picking on food all day.

这跟一天三顿饭加两次小零食完全不一样。

It's different than three meals and two little snacks.

差别可大了。

That's very different.

那是有计划的。

That's planned.

对。

Mhmm.

不停吃就是我起来拿一点这个吃。

Grazing is like, I'm gonna get up and have a little bit of this.

过几分钟，我又起来吃一点那个。

A few minutes later, I get up a little bit of that.

这种行为有点不正常。

That's a that's a little disordered.

这可不是我们平时该有的规律饮食方式。

It's not the way that we quote should be eating regularly throughout the day.

对吧？

Right?

还有节食行为，不一定达到厌食症的标准，但也可能是不健康的。

Also, restrictive eating, not necessarily meeting criteria for anorexia, let's say, could be disordered.

对吧？

Right?

比如有人经常跳过正餐，时间久了就容易出问题，可能反而导致之后暴饮暴食。

Like, if somebody skips meals often, then that can become problematic because it might lead to overeating or binge eating later.

明白了。

Gotcha.

好的。

Okay.

关于食物、想法和行为，有很多不健康的饮食模式，其实比我们想象的要普遍得多。

There's a lot of disordered eating around food, thoughts, behaviors that, again, I think is much more common than we think.

那有哪些关于饮食的不健康想法呢？

What, are some examples of disordered thoughts about eating?

比如，把食物分成好的和坏的。

So one of them would be labeling foods good and bad.

对。

Mhmm.

对吧？

Right?

我特别喜欢帮助人们摆脱这种想法。

I actually really like to help people get away from that.

明白。

K.

食物就是食物。

Food is food.

没错。

Yes.

有些食物营养更丰富一些。

Some have more nutrients than others.

不同的食物带来的满足感也不太一样。

More some are gonna satisfy us differently than others.

对。

Uh-huh.

但这种食物和那种食物本身并没有对错之分。

But there is nothing wrong with this food versus this food.

是的。

Yeah.

关于食物的非黑即白思维，我觉得这更像是节食者的心态。

All or nothing thinking related to food, I tend to say is that's kind of a dieter's mentality.

就好像我吃了一块饼干。

It's like I eat a cookie.

那干脆把整盒都吃了算了。

I might as well eat the whole box.

我既然吃了饼干，那就算完了。

I'm bad now because I eat the cookie.

对吧？

Right?

你吃了一块饼干，并不代表你就是错的。

You're not bad because you eat the cookie.

你想吃饼干，那就吃了呗。

You wanted the cookie, you eat the cookie.

所以我们得彻底摆脱这种非黑即白的思维模式。

So we have to actually get away from that all or nothing thinking K.

转而培养一种更灵活的思维方式。

And introduce more of a flexible thinking or flexible mindset.

我想把您提到的那些重点内容逐条拿出来聊聊。

I would love to kinda take some of the big ones that you mentioned and go kinda line by line.

对。

Yeah.

我特别感兴趣，因为我自己确实也有这种情绪性进食的模式。

And, I'm interested in this because I definitely see this as a pattern in myself in terms of the emotional eating.

我们的两个女儿都经历过这个问题，而且她们也都很坦诚地谈过。

Both of our daughters have struggled with this and are very open about it.

我觉得这种情况其实非常普遍。

And I think this is incredibly common.

那我们先从限制饮食说起吧。

So let's start with restricting.

您觉得有哪些最重要的三个警示信号，能说明人已经越界了，这点特别值得我们注意？

What are the three biggest warning signs that you're crossing a line that you think it's important that we're aware of?

第一个我觉得是总是过度纠结于吃东西、身材或者体型。

So the first one I would say is preoccupation with eating food, body shape, or size.

你这话是什么意思？

What do mean?

就是脑子里总想着吃的、身材或者体型，被这些想法占满。

Being consumed too much in terms of your thoughts and your feelings Yep.

跟食物、身材或体型有关。

Related to food, body shape, or size.

就是对这些事想得太多。

Like, preoccupation with that.

这些念头整天缠着你。

It is consuming your day.

对。

K.

对吧？

Right?

比如你一醒来，第一个想到的就是这些。

So, like, you wake up and it's the first thing you think about.

对吧？

Right?

你老是照镜子，诸如此类的事。

You're looking in the mirror a lot, things like that.

整天脑子里都被这些事占满了。

Like, very much consuming your brain in your day.

它完全占据了你的一天，K。

It's taking over your day K.

我第一反应会是：等等。

Is the first thing I would be like, wait a minute.

这到底是怎么回事？

What's going on here?

如果你一整天经过镜子，都会觉得：我长得真难看。

And so if you're somebody who all day long, you pass a mirror and you're like, I hate how I look.

我太胖了。

I'm fat.

就是这个。

This.

你老注意自己的裤子是不是紧了。

You're noticing how your pants are, like, like, tight.

你就是这样。

You're this.

你看到别人都比你瘦，说的就是这个吧？

You see how everybody else is smaller than you, and that's what you're talking about?

没错。

Exactly.

明白了。

Okay.

所以这是第一个预警信号。

So that's warning sign number one.

对饮食有严格的规矩。

Rigid rules around food.

比如，我只能在那个时间吃饭。

Like, I can only eat at this time.

我经常听到这种说法。

You know, I often hear this.

现在还没到早上十点呢。

Like, well, it's not 10:00 in the morning.

我得等到十点才能吃。

I can't eat until 10:00.

或者我必须这么吃，只能吃有机的、无麸质的，诸如此类的要求。

Or, you know, I have to eat this way, or I can only eat organic or gluten free, things like that.

就是特别死板的规矩。

Like, very rigid rules.

我们又在陷入非黑即白的思维了，现在又开始这样想了。

Again, getting away from that all or nothing thinking, we're we're now thinking more all or nothing.

对。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

我就得这么吃。

Like, I have to eat this way.

我没法出去吃饭。

I can't go out to eat.

对吧？

Right?

诸如此类的事情。

Things like that.

这就引出了第三点：它开始影响你的日常生活。

Which brings me to the third one is it starts impacting your daily functioning.

它让你感到痛苦，也许你已经开始回避社交了。

It's causing you distress, and maybe you're now isolating.

也许你因为这个上班迟到了。

Maybe you're late to work because of it.

也许你会避开那些有食物的会议，诸如此类的事情。

Maybe you're skipping meetings that have food involved, things like that.

我觉得这三点是最值得留意的。

I would say those are the three things I would first be on the lookout for.

如果在听的你正经历这些，我想让你知道，这并不代表你有什么问题，但也许是时候寻求专业帮助，或者找个人聊聊了。

And if anybody listening is struggling with any of that, I think just let this be a sign that there's nothing wrong with you, but maybe it's time to seek professional help or speak to somebody.

很多人是不是因为害怕发胖才不敢寻求帮助？

Aren't a lot of people scared to seek help because you don't wanna gain weight?

没错。

Right.

或者觉得自己无法掌控，还特别羞愧。

Or you feel like you can't get control of this and there's a lot of shame

而且我要说的是，基于我接触过的成千上万的来访者，很多人不敢求助，就是怕长胖。

in And and I'm saying this from hearing the thousands of clients that I've worked with, that people are afraid to seek help because they are afraid of gaining weight.

这到底意味着什么？

And what does that mean?

但很多人没意识到，一天规律地吃饭，并不意味着你会发胖。

And what people often miss is that eating regularly throughout the day doesn't mean you're gonna gain weight.

你可能会获得更多能量。

You might gain energy.

你可能会获得更好的营养。

You might gain nourishment.

你可能会变得更清醒。

You might gain clarity.

但关键在于信任——相信你的身体知道它需要什么，并重新给予它这份信任。

And it comes down to trust though and trusting that your body knows what it needs and to give back that trust.

因为饮食文化一直告诉我们别相信自己的身体，说这个时候不能吃，那种食物不能碰。

Because I think the diet world, diets, have told us not to trust our bodies, have told us that you can't eat at this time or you can't eat this.

现在很多人都失去了对自身身体的信任。

And a lot of people have now lost trust in their own bodies.

所以我们得退一步，对自己温柔一点，告诉自己：好吧。

And we have to take that step back and be kind to ourselves and be like, okay.

也许这正是我需要的。

Maybe this is what I need.

对吧？

Right?

我们的身体一直在向我们传递信息。

Our bodies are always communicating to us.

还是回到身心连接这个话题。

Again, back to the mind body connection.

身体一直在给我们发信号，但我们生活在一个不停运转的世界里，往往就忽略了这些信号。

Our bodies are always sending us signals, But we live in a go, go, go world that we just ignore them or we miss them.

对于那些减肥困难的人来说，第一反应通常是：得找个教练。

So for somebody that's struggling to lose weight, I think the the knee jerk assumption is, okay, gotta get a trainer.

得找个营养师。

I gotta get a nutritionist.

作为心理学家，你觉得在重新调整健康状态、找回掌控感这件事上，最被忽视的是哪一点？

As a psychologist, what's the piece that's missing that you may not have considered in terms of resetting your health and feeling more in control?

请教练或营养师当然很好。

So getting a trainer or a nutritionist are great.

但很多人默认觉得，只要少吃就行。

And I think a big part of it is people just assume they have to eat less.

但这并不是关键。

And that's not the answer.

对吧？

Right?

不对。

No.

经常呢，越节食越容易导致之后暴饮暴食。

Oftentimes, eating less restricting, for instance, then leads to overeating later.

哦。

Oh.

当你吃得太少，低于身体实际需求时，身体反而会拼命囤脂肪。

And when you end up eating under what your body needs, it ends up holding on to its fat cells.

这就像是身体进入了求生模式。

It's like in survival mode back to now.

这一切都是有关联的。

It's all related.

跟压力反应直接相关。

Back to the stress response.

你的身体会拼命留住每一分能量，因为你给得太少了。

Your body is gonna hold on to whatever it has because you're starving it.

所以体重根本降不下来。

So it's not gonna lose weight.

它根本就是在求生模式里。

It's actually in survival mode.

所以作为心理学家，你是不是遇到过一些患者，他们想减重却减不下来，体重超标，情绪也很低落，而压力和节食反而让他们更难瘦下来？

So are you saying as a psychologist that you've had patients come in who are struggling with losing weight and they are overweight and they are very unhappy and that the stress and the restricting of calories is actually keeping them overweight?

有可能。

It could be.

好的。

Okay.

我的意思是，身体本身就有这种机制。

I mean, there's the biome It's part

确实是其中一部分。

of the it's part of Absolutely.

对。

Yes.

很多人说，我不明白为什么就是减不下来。

Oftentimes, people say, I don't understand why I can't lose weight.

我都没怎么吃，或者根本没吃。

I don't eat or I don't eat it.

我吃得很少很少。

You know, I barely eat.

但恰恰就是这个，构成了问题的一部分。

But that's actually the problem or part of the problem.

为什么这也是问题的一部分呢？

And why is that part of the problem?

因为如果你不吃东西，对。

Because if you're not eating Yep.

这可能会导致后来你饿得不行，看到什么就吃什么，情绪化进食，冲动反应，对。

It could be leading to later, you're so hungry that you eat the first thing you see, of emotional eating impulsive reactive Yep.

或者你吃太多，对。

Or you overeat Yep.

还有压力反应，皮质醇会让你一直处在生存模式里，因为你觉得必须得活下去。

Or and then the stress response and the cortisol is then keeping you in this survival mode because I have to survive.

当你看到生活中某个人有那些限制性行为，或者那些混乱、充满评判的想法时，你会怎么做？

What do you do when you are concerned about somebody in your life because you are seeing the restrictive behavior or you are seeing the thoughts that are disordered and very judgmental?

如果这个人是你非常在乎的人，你会怎么处理这种情况？

What do you do if this is somebody you deeply care about?

对。

Yeah.

我觉得这取决于你们之间的关系。

So I think it depends on the relationship you have with them.

但你可以先试着和他们聊聊，不过别直接挑明这件事。

But the first thing you could do is talk to them about it, but not not about it.

那该怎么说呢？

How do you do that?

比如先问问：最近你怎么样？

Like, ask, like, how have you been lately?

我注意到你可能精力没以前好，或者老是错过会议、取消约好的事情。

I've noticed you're maybe they have lower energy or maybe they're missing meetings or missing appointments or canceling on you.

找这样的细节入手，用‘我’开头来表达，别指责。

Like, find something like that and make it like, use I statements, though.

比如说：

Like,

我有点担心你。

I'm concerned about you.

我注意到了。

I noticed.

所以，放下评判，抛开假设。

So taking that judgment away, taking the assumptions away.

我注意到你最近老是错过会议，或者取消我们的聚餐，反正就是这类事。

I noticed you've been missing meetings or you've been canceling on our dinner parties, whatever it is.

我是真的有点担心你。

Like, I'm concerned.

你还好吗？

Is everything okay?

多用开放性问题，多说自己的感受。

Open ended questions and I statements.

明白了。

K.

但如果你问了问题，就得准备好认真听。

But if you're gonna ask a question, be prepared to listen.

大多数人只是在听，但并没有真正听进去。

Most people listen but don't really hear.

对吧？

Right?

所以，要真诚地倾听对方说什么，并且保持开放的心态。

So, like, really genuinely listen to what they have to say and be open minded.

那要是对方什么都不说呢？

What if you get just like nothing?

所以你可以先放一放，暂时不提这件事。

So you could then let it go for now.

对。

Uh-huh.

你可以换个时间再试，不过这也得看具体情况。

And you could try again at another time, but it also depends on the circumstance.

比如，你肯定不想在人多的地方，或者你自己或对方情绪激动的时候，去提这种敏感的话题。

So, like, you don't wanna bring up a sensitive topic like this when you're in a crowded place, when you or the other person are already emotional.

好的

K.

对吧

Right?

你需要一个中性的环境

Like, you want a neutral place.

我觉得最好边走边谈

Ideally, I would actually say it, like, on a walk.

好的

K.

对吧

Right?

一边走动一边聊，确实更容易

Like, as you're moving your bodies Yep.

身体在移动的时候，更容易说出心里话

It's easier to come up and, like, share emotional things.