此刻值得自问的5个有力问题

嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎来到梅尔·罗宾斯播客。今天，我只想花点时间和你聊聊。没有要你必须高效的压力，也没有要追赶的大目标。

Hey. It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. Today, I just wanted to take a moment and check-in with you. No pressure to be productive. No big goals to chase.

就把它想成我们俩随便待在一起，花一分钟喘口气。你知道的，我一直在想，过去这两年半里，这个播客发展得这么快，真的令人难以置信。我和我的团队非常努力地寻找最了不起、最有影响力的嘉宾。说实话，每次做这些精彩访谈时，能和你一起学习，我特别喜欢。

Think about it like the two of us just hanging out and just taking a minute to breathe. You know, I've been thinking a lot about how this podcast has grown so fast over the last two and a half years. I mean, it's just been mind blowing. And my team and I, we work so hard to find the most incredible and impactful guests that we can. And I gotta be honest, I have loved learning side by side with you whenever we do these incredible interviews.

但事实是，我真的很怀念只有你和我的时光，就像我们刚开始做播客那样。所以今天，我想坐下来，朋友对朋友地和你聊聊。我还带来了很酷的东西：五个有力的问题，今天我要问你。这五个问题也是我一直问自己的，因为它们总能神奇地穿透噪音，帮我重新连接当下的位置，以及下一步该做什么。

But the truth is, I really miss it being just you and me, the way it was when we started the podcast. So today, I wanted to sit down with you and just connect friend to friend. And I've brought something really cool. I've brought five powerful questions that I'm gonna ask you today. Now these are the same five questions that I always ask myself because these five questions, they just magically cut through the noise and they always help me reconnect with where I am and with what I should do next.

因为很容易就被生活的仓鼠转轮卷进去，对吧？你盯着下一个目标、下一场会议、待办清单上的下一项，或者随便什么下一件事，结果忘了什么才是真正对你重要的。但这五个有力的问题能帮到你。它们帮你看清什么带给你快乐，让你明白你想念谁、什么在拖累你，而且也许最重要的是，让你知道在当下的人生里，你能做点什么让自己感觉好一点。

Because it's so easy to get caught up in the hamster wheel of life, isn't it? That you get focused on the next goal, the next meeting, the next thing on the to do list, or the next whatever it is that you forget what actually matters to you. But these five powerful questions, they help you. They help you get clear on what brings you joy. They make it clear who you miss, what's weighing you down, and perhaps most importantly, what you can do to feel a little bit better in your life as it is right now.

那我们就开始吧。嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎来到梅尔·罗宾斯播客。能和你在一起、共度时光，一直是我的荣幸。如果你是新听众，或者因为有人分享这期节目而来，首先，我想花点时间亲自欢迎你加入梅尔·罗斯播客大家庭。我很高兴你来了，尤其高兴你选了这期节目，因为今天的对话就只有你和我。

So let's get into it. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast. It's always such an honor to be together and to spend time with you. And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, well, first of all, I just wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Melrose Podcast family. I am so glad that you're here, and I'm especially glad that you chose this episode because this conversation today is just gonna be you and me.

我想让你我一起按下暂停键。暂停生活的混乱、待办清单、账单、邮件、孩子、新闻头条、买菜，所有的一切。相反，我只想和你聊聊。我想和自己聊聊。我兴奋得今天早上就醒了，因为能和你进行这场对话。

I want you and I to just hit pause. Pause on the chaos of life, the to do list, the bills, the emails, the kids, the headlines, the groceries, all of it. And instead, I just wanna check-in with you. I wanna check-in with myself. I was so excited to have this conversation with you that I woke up this morning.

我做了我平常那套快速简单的晨间例行。散步一结束，我就立刻冲上来。我还穿着运动服，头发还是运动后的样子。如果你在YouTube上看，就能看见。

I did what I always do in terms of my fast and easy morning routine. And as soon as I was done taking my walk, I raced right up here. I'm still in my exercise clothes. I'm still, like, up with my exercise hair right now. If you're watching on YouTube, you can see it.

我就是刚做完晨间例行，直接来这儿，因为我只想跟你说话。今天我会问你五个问题。这些问题能帮你我反思此刻的状态——心理、情绪、身体，甚至精神层面。我想这么做有两个原因。首先，我真的很想念跟你闲聊的时光。

I am straight from doing my morning routine because I just wanted to talk to you. There are five questions that I'm gonna ask you today. And these are questions that will help you and me reflect on where you are right now, where you are mentally, emotionally, physically, maybe even spiritually. And there's two reasons why I wanted to do this. Well, first of all, I have really missed hanging out with you.

你知道，这播客差不多两年半前刚开始时，天哪，一开始就只有你和我。我会坐在麦克风前，要么在卧室外的衣帽间，要么在佛蒙特南部车库上的这间小屋，就像两个朋友散步一样聊天。麦克风、我在佛蒙特的家、你和我。可天哪，这两年半播客成长太多，我就觉得也许我们该回到从前那种简单的对话。所以今天你我就要这么做。

You know, when this podcast started almost two and a half years ago, holy cow, it just started out as you and me. I would sit here behind the microphone either in my closet outside my bedroom or here above the garage in Southern Vermont, and we would just talk like two friends going on a walk. The microphone, my house in Vermont, you and me, but holy cow. This podcast has grown so much in the past two and a half years that I just kind of felt like maybe we should go back and do a conversation like we used to, something super simple. And so that's what you and I are gonna do today.

我们要像朋友一样互相问候。第二个我想聊、想问你这五个有力问题的原因是：我知道，当我停下来、花时间反思、问自己让我驻足并变得清晰的问题时， revelations 就会出现。放慢脚步后，你能迅速获得清晰，这很神奇。你会看到什么需要改变。毕竟，你又不傻。

We're gonna like friends, just check-in with one another. And the second reason why I wanted to have this conversation, why I wanted to ask you these five powerful questions is because I know in my life, when I take the time to pause, when I take the time to reflect, when I ask myself questions that make me stop and get clear, it's pretty amazing the revelations that you have. It's pretty awesome how quickly when you slow down, you can gain clarity. You see what needs to change. I mean, you're not an idiot.

你知道生活中哪些事情进展顺利，也知道哪些事情还可以再好一点。今天，我们就来一起看看这些。你知道什么让你快乐，什么让你精疲力竭。但人们很容易陷入忙碌之中。

You know the things that are working in your life and the things that you know could be a little bit better. And today, we're just gonna take a look at that. You know what's working. You know what brings you joy and what drains you. But it's so easy to get caught up in the busyness.

我是说，现在，无论你处在人生的哪个阶段，天啊，可能都会觉得，哇，这就要结束了吗？但生活总有这种疯狂的方式劫持你，让你远离那些带来简单快乐的事物，反而把你榨干。今天，我们也要按下暂停键，因为我真的想让你重新对齐你想要过的生活，而这五个问题将帮我和你做到这一点。那么，我们开始吧。这是第一个问题。

I mean, right now, whatever season you're in, boy, it probably feels like, wow, is it almost over already? But life has this crazy way of just hijacking you and taking you away from the simple things that bring a lot of joy in your life and instead just draining you. And today, we're gonna hit the pause button on that too because I really want you to realign with the life you want to be living, and these five questions are gonna help you and me do that. So let's begin. Here's the very first question.

你现在到底怎么样？不，说真的。你实际上怎么样？在你脱口而出那句自动回复“哦，我很好，梅尔”之前，先停住。

How are you really doing right now? No. Really. How are you actually? And before you blurt out the automated, oh, I'm fine, Mel, just stop.

闭上嘴。用鼻子吸一口气，然后就在沉默中跟这个问题待一会儿。你现在到底怎么样？我会等。再问自己一次。

Close your mouth. Take in a breath through your nose and just sit in silence with that question for a second. How are you really doing right now? I'll wait. Ask yourself again.

我发现我得把这个问题问上几遍，因为我的答案有层次。第一个答案，梅尔，你真的怎么样？还行。好的，我不错。

Like, I find that I need to really ask this question a couple times because there are layers to my answer. The first answer for me, how are you doing really, Mel? Fine. Okay. I'm good.

好的，一切真的挺好。不，不，不。

Okay. Things are really good. No. No. No.

让我们就和自己的身体、和此刻一起待一分钟，再问自己一次：你到底怎么样？你是被压得喘不过气？心满意足？焦虑？兴奋？

Let's just sit in our body and the moment for a minute together and ask yourself again, how are you really? Are you overwhelmed? Content? Anxious? Excited?

沮丧？坐立不安？平静？你在焦虑吗？你在担心什么吗？

Frustrated? Restless? Peaceful? Are you anxious? Are you worried about things?

你感觉良好？无论是什么，只要给它命名。你不必解决它，你什么都不用做，只要回答这个问题。

Are you feeling good? Whatever it is, just name it. You don't have to fix it. You don't have to do anything. Just answer the question.

承认它。对自己说实话。你现在到底怎么样？所以你可能在想，梅尔，你干嘛问我这个问题？这个问题真的很重要，它既出于常识，也有研究支持，为什么我希望今天你和我都来回答它。

Acknowledge it. Tell yourself the truth. How are you doing right now? So you might be wondering, Mel, why are you asking me this question? Well, this question's really important, and it's important both from a common sense reason and also there's some research around why I want you and I to answer this question today.

你现在怎么样？此刻的真实感受是什么？问这个问题，第一个朴素的理由是：如果你不慢下来、不和自己核对一下，你就会永远处于自动驾驶状态，永远被压力裹挟，永远与内心更深层的真相失联。这是第一点。第二点，我之所以想问你这个问题，是因为我在《纽约时报》上读到了一篇文章。

How are you doing? How are you feeling right now for real? And the common sense reason is because if you don't slow down and check-in with yourself, you will always be running on autopilot, you will always be stressed out, and you will always be disconnected from the deeper truth that is inside you. That's number one. And the second reason why I wanted to ask you this question is because I was reading this article in the New York Times.

作者是丽莎·达穆尔博士。放心，我不会跑题太远。她是一名临床心理学家，她的工作对我与成年子女的关系产生了巨大影响。

It was written by doctor Lisa D'Amour. Now doctor Lisa, I'm not gonna go on a big tangent. Don't worry. She is a clinical psychologist. Her work has had a huge impact on my relationship with my adult kids.

于是我在读这篇文章时，一看署名——丽莎·达穆尔博士写的。她谈到，我们很多人都被生活压得喘不过气，无论你是青少年、刚成年的年轻人、家长，还是任何一个正在过日子的人。我特别喜欢她的一句话：青少年和成年人一样，只要把担忧和困扰说出来，就能得到缓解。

And so I was reading this article. I'm like, oh, doctor Lisa D'Amour wrote this article. And she was talking about how so many of us are overwhelmed by life, whether we are a teenager, a young adult, whether we're a parent, whether we're just somebody going through life. And I love what she had to say. She said, adolescents, just like adults, find relief from simply articulating their worries and concerns.

心理学家常说，大多数问题一旦从心里倒出来，而不是闷在里面，感觉就会好很多，无论问题大小。你现在很可能就扛着不少事。所以，你我此刻一起问出的这个有力问题——“你现在到底怎么样？”——它给你腾出空间，让你把脑袋和身体里的东西倒出来，真正说出自己的状态。别担心会说出什么，因为事实上，你人生中遇到的绝大多数问题，尤其是大问题，可能根本无解。

You know, psychologists often say that most problems feel better when they're on the outside rather than on the inside, and this holds true whether the difficulties are big or small. And you're probably carrying a lot right now. And so this question that you and I are asking ourselves, this first powerful question, how are you doing right now? It creates space for you to be able to get outside of your head and your body and to truly say the truth about how you're doing. And look, it doesn't matter what comes out because the fact is most problems that you face in life, particularly the big ones, they may not be able to be solved.

但关键在这里：有问题或感到崩溃本身并不可怕，可怕的是你对这种感觉或问题感到彻底孤独。所以，我们就从这里开始——从真相开始。你现在，到底怎么样？

But here's the reason why this is important. Having a problem or feeling overwhelmed isn't nearly so bad as feeling utterly alone with the feeling or the problem that you're dealing with. And so that's why we're gonna start here. We're gonna start with the truth. How are you really doing right now?

我先来。此刻我的真实感受是：我非常满足。要知道，我现在跟你说话时正值夏季，我一直在思考这个夏天——我不知道你收听时是什么季节。

And I'm gonna go first. So the thing that I have been feeling right now is I actually feel very content. You know, I I I've been thinking a lot about this summer because I'm talking to you right now. It's the summer season here. I don't know what season you're listening in right now.

其实无所谓，因为只要你愿意，随时都能问自己这些问题。总之，我感到非常满足。这对我来说是个新词，因为我通常的状态是“忙疯了”“被压垮”“承诺太多”。

It doesn't really matter because you can ask yourself these questions anytime you feel like asking them. And I feel very content. And that's a new word for me to use because normally, I'm like crazy busy. I feel overwhelmed. I overcommit too much.

我经营着一家很大的公司，做这期播客要投入大量工作，我还经常因公务出差。但大约一年前，我决定：尽量减少因公出差。如果你翻我的日历，会发现我做得并不完美，但回顾过去一个月，我确实在努力减少出行。

I'm running a really big company. It takes a lot of work to get this podcast going, and I travel a lot from work. But about a year ago, I said, I'm gonna try to stop traveling so much for work. If you look at the calendar, I haven't been exactly that great about it. But when I reflect on the last month, I have been trying to travel less.

我更常待在家里，晚上六点或七点就能放下工作，享受整个夜晚。事实上，我给全公司放了一周假，而我选择——你猜怎么着——就待在家。太棒了。

I have been home more. I have been able to put work down at six or 07:00 at night and take the evening. And in fact, I gave my entire company a week off, and instead of traveling, you know what I did? I just stayed home. It was amazing.

我来了个“宅度假”。大概这就是我感到满足的原因：哪儿也没去，不用收拾行李，不用折腾大阵仗。我只是想：这一周假，我就这么过。

I did a staycation. That's probably why I'm content. I didn't go anywhere. I didn't have to pack up the car or I didn't have to do some big thing. I just was like, you know what I'm doing on this week off?

我什么都没做。因为我不知道你在夏天是什么感觉，但我自己觉得，夏天好像我们特别期待它的到来，可一旦它来了，就变成了一场疯狂的赛跑，拼命想在开学前、天气转凉前、夏天结束前把尽可能多的活动塞进去。对我来说，夏天就像你进电梯，门开始合上的那一瞬间——永远有那种紧迫感。但有趣的是，今年夏天我给自己立了个规矩：哪儿也不去，就尽量待在家里，因为我们刚结束“let them”巡演。

I'm not doing anything. Because I don't know how you feel in the summer, but I feel like summer, like, we look so forward to it coming, but then it becomes this huge race of trying to squeeze in as much as you can before the school year starts or before the weather turns colder, before the summer is over. It's like, you know, when you get on an elevator and the doors start to feel like they're closing, that's always how summer feels for me. But the interesting thing is is because I had made this commitment this summer that I was not going to go a lot of places. I was really gonna try to have this be a summer where I was home a lot because we had just finished the let them the tour.

之前我一直在到处飞，现在我只想回家。所以我真的很满足。于是，这个夏天到目前为止，主题就是“连接”“休息”“给工作设边界”。

I had been doing a ton of travel, and I just wanted to be home. And so I'm really content. And so this whole summer so far has just been about connection. It's been about rest. It's been about boundaries with work.

主题就是不再答应更多的事，而是真正地静下来、知足。我得说，我挺为自己骄傲。有趣的是，前几天孩子跟我说：“天哪妈，你晒得好黑！”我寻思：我一次日光浴都没躺过啊。

It's been about not saying yes to more things, but just really being still and being content. And I gotta say, I'm pretty proud of myself. It's kinda funny. My kid said to me the other day, they're like, my god, mom, you're so tan. And I thought to myself, I haven't laid out once.

我也没刻意去晒黑，就是一直在家，在院子里干活，每天遛狗，照样猛涂防晒霜。可大概就是因为在家、知足，有更多时间做日常的户外小事，不仅心情好一点，还顺带领到了一身古铜，挺酷的。

I haven't really tried to get tan. I've just been home. I've been working out in the yard. I've been taking the dogs for a walk every single day. I'm still lathering on the sunscreen, but I guess just being home and being content and having a little bit more time to be outside just doing day to day things, It's not only made me feel a little bit better, but honestly, it's also made me tan, which is pretty cool.

那你呢？你现在到底怎么样？我刚说了点相对积极的，所以如果你想说“真好啊梅尔，可我现在糟透了，我超崩溃”，千万别自责。

So how about you? How are you really doing right now? And I shared something that was relatively positive. So I don't want you to bash yourself if your answer is, well, that's great for you, Mel, but right now, things suck. I'm very overwhelmed.

你可能很沮丧、很挫败、很孤单……不管答案是什么，我只希望你诚实回答。深吸一口气——你现在到底怎么样？

I'm very frustrated about things. I I feel very isolated. Whatever your answer is, I just want you to answer the question honestly. Take a deep breath. How are you really doing right now?

因为我向你保证，仅仅把它说出来、从身体里倒出来，就是让你下一步好受一点的第一步。如果你跟我一样，答案是“我很知足、很开心、很感恩”，那太好了，这也提示你继续这样做。没有哪种答案对或错，它们都是工具，帮你凭内在的智慧去导航日常。我觉得这些问题厉害就厉害在，它们把你已有的智慧挖出来。

Because I promise you, simply saying it out loud and getting it outside of you is the first step to you doing whatever you need to do next in order to make yourself feel a little better? And if you're like me and the answer is I'm content, I'm happy, I feel grateful, great, then that's also a clue that tells you what to keep doing. None of these answers are right or wrong answers. They are all just tools that you can use to help yourself navigate your day to day life based on the wisdom that's inside of you. And that's why I think these questions are so powerful because they excavate the wisdom that's already within you.

一旦你把这份智慧摆在眼前，调整方向、做更有力量或更策略或更鼓舞的决定，就都变得容易多了。挺酷的吧。好了，你已经答完第一题：你现在到底怎么样？棒极了，我们进入第二题。

And once you have that wisdom in front of you, now it's kind of easy to course correct or to make more empowered or strategic or inspiring decisions about what to do with your time moving forward. Pretty cool, Alright. Cool. So you already answered question number one. How are you really doing right now?

第二题：最近你有没有跟谁共度时光，或者你希望自己已经跟谁见面了？我喜欢这个问题，因为生活一忙，上班、送孩子、上学、做琐事，你就忘了生命中最重要的一件事：你的人生质量，很大程度上取决于你的人际关系质量。

Great job. Let's move on to question two. Who's someone that you've spent time with lately or you wish you had? I love this question because I think you can get so busy in your life just doing the day to day and going to work or driving the kids to school or going to school yourself or doing the things that you forget one of the most important things in life. And that is that your life and the quality of the life that you live is largely driven by the quality of your relationships.

回顾五十六年，我犯过一个大错：有些阶段我把家人朋友真放在第一位，有些阶段却把工作或学业放最前。很明显，当我把亲友放首位时，我感觉更好。所以这个问题很关键——我敢打赌，最近你肯定跟谁见过，或者希望自己已经跟谁见过。回答它，会让你意识到那些被你视作理所当然的存在：兄弟姐妹、父母、大学死党、半年没见的健走团……可能因为“他们一直在”就忽略了，也可能因为“等我不忙再联系”就搁置了。

And one big mistake that I've made in my life when I look back over the fifty six years is that there are periods of my life where I truly prioritized my family and my friends, and then there are periods of my life where I truly prioritized work or school. And it is very clear that in those areas of my life where I did prioritize friends and family, I felt better. And so this is an important question because I guarantee you, there's someone that you've spent time with lately or that you wish you had, and answering this question will help bring to the surface the things that you take for granted, your siblings, your parents, your best friends from college, that walking group that you haven't seen in six months because you got busier, maybe you neglected everybody a little bit because, you know, they're they're always there. Or maybe you've been neglecting your friends and your family a little bit because, you know, they're there. And, you know, when things aren't so busy, I'll I'll reach out and I'll connect.

呃——这第二个问题太有力量了。最近你和谁一起度过时光，或者你希望和谁一起？因为它把你生命中最重要的一样东西——人际关系——摆到了台面上。我得给你讲个故事，讲起来我都有些不好意思，因为……唉，我为啥会不好意思呢？

Uh-uh. This second question is so powerful. Who is someone you've spent time with recently or you wish you had? Because it brings to the surface one of the most important things in your life, relationships. And I gotta share a story with you because I'm almost embarrassed to tell you parts of this story because I I well, why am I embarrassed to tell you this?

我不知道。我觉得自己像个坏人，因为竟然隔了这么久。我们大概四年前搬到佛蒙特，我哥从没来过我在佛蒙特的家，我在这儿住了整整四年。

I don't know. I I'm embarrassed because I feel like I'm a bad person that so much time went by. So we moved to Vermont, like, four years ago. My brother has never been to my house here in Vermont. I've lived here for four years.

然后我突然意识到：等等，Dee，你居然从没来过？开什么玩笑？他住在芝加哥。

Now, here's the thing. I started to go, wait a minute. You've never been here, Dee? What are you talking about? He lives in Chicago.

我住在佛蒙特南部，开车得十四个小时，或者转两趟飞机才能到。他工作的咨询公司很大，他一周都在出差。我也经常出差。而且，他老婆——我嫂子——是我的商业伙伴。

I live in Southern Vermont. It's like a fourteen hour drive or two different flights in order to get here. He has a job where he travels during the week as a big for a big consulting firm. I have a job where I travel a lot. And plus, his wife, my sister-in-law, is my business partner.

我每天都跟我嫂子打电话、开Zoom；我们波士顿制作周也见面；还一起出差开会。所以我总觉得“经常见到我哥”。过去四年，我嫂子每年都来我家三四次。

I'm literally on the phone and Zoom calls with my sister-in-law every single day. I also see her in our Boston production weeks. I also travel to business meetings with her. And so I had this sense that I was seeing my brother a lot. My sister-in-law has been to my house like three or four times a year for the last four years.

我哥？一次都没，因为得有人在家陪双胞胎。当然说得通。但我当时想：天啊，我想多花时间和谁在一起？我想见我哥。我们一年也见三四次，可通常是在密歇根我爸妈家，或者佛罗里达他们租的地方，又或者别的家庭聚会地点。

My brother, no, because somebody needed to be home with their twins when she was traveling. And so, of course, it makes sense. But I was like, oh my god, who do I want to spend more time with? I want to see my brother. And, of course, we see each other during the year, but we typically see each other at my parents' house in Michigan, or we'll see them at the place my parents rent in Florida, or we'll get together for sort of like a family gathering place at a different location.

所以我们一年见三四次，只是他从没来过佛蒙特。于是我们说：定个计划吧。这就是这个问题的重要之处——你想和谁共度时光，或者你希望曾和谁一起？

So we see each other three or four times a year. We've just never been here in Vermont. So we decided, let's make a plan. And this is why this question is important. Who's somebody that you spent time with or you wish you had?

因为它让你意识到：如果想实现，就得去计划。公司正好要放一周假，我们决定：那就聚聚吧，你来佛蒙特？我哥说：我有个更好的主意，我们从芝加哥一路开到佛蒙特南部。

Because it makes you realize, oh, I gotta plan this if I want it to happen. So we decided during that week off where the company was gonna take a week off, why don't we get together? Why don't you come out to Vermont? And then my brother said, I got a better idea. How about we drive from Chicago to Southern Vermont?

差不多要十五个小时。他们想开车的原因超可爱：我们有两只澳洲牧羊犬，他们也有两只。我家最小的Homie和他们家最老的Bodhi是同窝兄弟，自打八周大分别去芝加哥和佛蒙特后就再没见过。

It's gonna take us almost fifteen hours. And the reason why they wanted to drive, check this out, is because we have two Australian Shepherds, and they have two Australian Shepherds. And our youngest dog, Homie, and their oldest dog, Bodhi, were in the same litter. They're brothers, and they haven't seen each other since they were eight weeks old and left the litter, one going to Chicago and one going to Vermont. And so my brother was like, we're gonna drive out.

于是我哥说：我们开车过去，把狗带上。我嫂子当场抓狂：你疯了吗？为了狗兄弟玩四天，我们绝不连续开十五小时车！结果呢？Derek赢了。

We're gonna drive out and bring the dogs. My sister-in-law was like, are you out of your freaking mind? We are not driving fifteen hours straight in order for dogs to play together for four days. Well, you know what? Derek won.

他们挤进车里。他们连续开了十五个小时直奔这里，然后我们精心安排。好吧。我们得想办法怎么安排这两兄弟第一次见面，他们已经两年没见了，八周大时就分开了。于是他们把车开进来。

They piled into the car. They drove the fifteen hours straight to get here, and then we orchestrated. Okay. We gotta figure out how are we gonna orchestrate the first meeting of the two brothers who haven't seen each other in two years, separated at eight weeks. So they pull in.

我们都很兴奋。但最让大家兴奋的是看狗会发生什么，对吧？因为我们有四只澳大利亚牧羊犬到处跑。于是我们放出了我们的两只狗，德里克和克里斯汀把车开进车道，他们也放出了他们的两只狗。

We're all excited. But everyone's mostly excited about watching what happens with the dogs. Right? Because we got four Australian Shepherds running all over the place. So we let both of our dogs out, and Derek and Christine pull into the drive, and they let their two dogs out.

我真没开玩笑。博迪和霍米，这两兄弟，直接奔向彼此。他们互相闻了闻，然后稍微后退一步，像是……接着又靠得更近。接下来的四天，你会以为这里只有他们两只狗。

I kid you not. Bodie and Homie, the two brothers, they went straight to each other. They sort of sniffed each other. They sort of took a step back like, and then they leaned in. For the next four days, you would have thought they were the only two dogs here.

他们完全无视另外两只狗。太疯狂了。他们形影不离。就为了看到那一刻，十五小时的车程完全值了。接下来的四天，我们只做一件事：一起待着。

They completely ignored the other two dogs. It was crazy. They were joined at the hip. It made the entire fifteen hour drive worth it to just see that moment. And for the next four days, all we did was hang out.

我们打牌。我们坐在后甲板。我们一起不停地做饭。我们徒步爬上了附近滑雪山的后山。太棒了。

We played cards. We sat on the back deck. We cooked constant meals together. We hiked up the backside of the ski mountain that we lived nearby. It was amazing.

最重要的是，我们没有去什么豪华度假。我们没有花一万块在某个地方见面。我们没有坐飞机。他们只是上车开到这里。就这么简单。

And the most important thing about this is that we didn't go on some big grand vacation. We didn't spend $10,000 to meet up somewhere. We didn't get on planes. They just got in the car and drove here. Simple.

重点在于“连接”，而不是非得搞什么大阵仗。这是一个重要的启示。我最近在生活中经常这么做：我真的很想见、很想念的人，我总以为得需要一个周末、得一整晚、得一起吃顿饭。但我发现，我把连接做得越简单越好，哪怕只是我在跑腿时打个电话，哪怕只有六分钟，我们根本没计划。还有件很棒的事。

And the emphasis is on connection over having to do some big grand thing. And this is an important takeaway. It's something I've been doing a lot lately in my life is that there are people that I really want to see that I miss, and I keep thinking I need a weekend or I need, like, an entire evening together or I need to have a meal with them. And what I found is the more simple I can make the connection, whether it's just jumping on the phone while I'm running errands and connecting with somebody for six minutes even though we don't have a freaking plan. And here's another thing that's great.

一次相聚会引出下一次。因为他们一来，我和我哥在这儿一聚，我就说，兄弟，我得去威斯康星看看你们家，他们在威斯康星湖边有套房子我还没去过。于是我说，你看，我要给西北互助做个演讲，离你家挺近，我干脆把两件事合并？

One connection and hang out with somebody leads to the next. Because as soon as they were here and my brother and I were hanging out here, I'm like, dude, I gotta go see your place in Wisconsin because they have a place on the lake in Wisconsin that I haven't been to. And so I'm like, you know, I have a speech that I'm doing for Northwestern Mutual. It's kinda near where your house is. Why don't I combine the thing?

今年夏天我最大的重点就是：把时间优先留给家人和真想见的朋友。多和奥克利待一起。他几周后就要回学校了，所以只要他愿意，我就想尽可能多陪他。现在想想，大概就是因为这个我才说自己很满足——因为这个夏天我真的把“连接”放在了首位，而不是被那种“非得搞点大动静”的混乱感牵着走。不。

And this has been a huge focus for me this summer, is prioritizing time with people in my family and with friends that I really wanna see. Hanging out more with Oakley. He's leaving to go back to college in a couple weeks, and so I wanna see him as much as he'll hang out with me. And come to think of it, that's probably why I said I was content Because this summer has really had a focus on connection over all of this chaos that gets created when you're constantly feeling like you gotta do something big. No.

缩小它。这太有力量了，而且背后有研究支撑。罗伯特·瓦尔丁格博士是世界知名的精神科医生、哈佛医学院教授，也是哈佛成人发展研究的负责人，这是关于成人关系与幸福的最长程研究。这项长达84年的研究明确证明：你关系的质量，是你一生幸福与健康的最强预测指标。

Shrink it. This is so powerful, and it also is grounded in research. Doctor. Robert Waldinger, is a world renowned psychiatrist and professor at Harvard Medical School, and he also happens to be the director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which is the longest running study on adult relationships and happiness. And that eighty four year long research study has proven conclusively that the quality of your relationships is the single strongest predictor of happiness and health over your lifetime.

不是金钱，不是成功，不是地位。所以那些你和我都在追逐的东西——金钱、成功、地位——根据研究，它们并不是你一生幸福与健康的最强预测因子。真正起作用的是你的人际关系。我发现，我常常让关系处于自动驾驶状态，而这直接关联到我有多孤独、多不快乐。当我有意识地做出决定，把更多时间留给朋友，努力与我在乎的人保持联系，即使他们不在身边。

Not money, not success, not status. So all that stuff that you and I chase, the money, the success, the status, based on the research, that is not the strongest predictor of happiness and health for you over your lifetime. Your relationships are. And one of the things that I have found is that I have often allowed relationships to go on autopilot, and it has a direct connection to how lonely I feel when I do that or how unhappy that I feel. And when I make a conscious effort, when I make a decision that I'm gonna prioritize spending more time with my friends, prioritize staying connected to people that I care about even if they don't live near me.

当我把见家人放在优先位置，天啊，一切都会随之提升。所以我要再问你一次：最近你和谁共度时光？或者你想和谁多待一会儿？写下来。这很重要，因为无论你怎么做，时间都会继续流逝，而这真的很重要。

When I prioritize finding ways to see family, holy cow, it just lifts up everything. And so I'm gonna ask you again, who have you spent time with recently? Or who do you wanna spend more time with? Write it down. This is so important because time is gonna keep passing regardless of what you do with it, and this really matters.

别指望它自然发生，让它发生。在日历上找个日子，安排上。别等别人来邀请你。如果你的清单里有家人，我想特别说一句。

Don't hope that it happens. Make it happen. Find a date in the calendar and schedule it. Don't wait for other people to invite you. And this is something I want to say to you if on your list is family.

我受不了的是，家人常常坐等别人“邀请”才去看望。别这样。如果你想见谁，就拿起电话说：我想你了，我想去看你，这周末怎么样？

It drives me crazy that families tend to sit back and wait for a quote invitation from people to go visit. Forget that. Like, if you wanna go see somebody, pick up the phone and say, I miss you. I wanna come see you. How about this weekend?

别再坐着拿“他们还没邀请我”当借口。如果你想他们，如果你想见这个人，别再被动地生活，主动出击。我觉得我们都在等被邀请，而其实你内心有答案，尤其是当你问自己第二个有力的问题：最近你和谁在一起？或者你想和谁多待一会儿？如果脑子一片空白，那就这样做。

Stop sitting around and using it as an excuse that, well, they didn't invite me yet. If you miss them, if they're a person that you want to see, stop playing passive in your life and get on the offense. And I think we're all sitting around waiting to be invited when you have within you, particularly when you ask yourself this second powerful question, Who's somebody that you've spent time with recently? Or who do you wanna spend more time with? And if you kinda come up with a blank, here's what you do.

拿出手机，要么翻照片，我更建议翻通讯录。我把通讯录打印出来放在桌边，趁两个Zoom会议之间有空，我就翻一翻，然后惊呼：天，我好久没跟这人说话了，赶紧发条短信，或者发段语音，这样就能重新连上。

Get out your phone and either go through your photos, or I think even better yet, go through your contact list. I have a printout of my contact list next to my desk because when I have a spare minute between a couple Zoom calls, I'll flip through it and be like, oh my gosh, I haven't talked to that person in a while. Let me text them real quick. Let me send them a voice memo real quick. And that gets the connection going.

所以最后再问你一次：你和谁共度过时光，又想和谁多待一会儿？答案会直接指向提升你的幸福与健康，绝不骗你。好了。

So I'm gonna ask you one more time. Who have you spent time with, and who do you want to spend more time with? It'll raise to the surface a direct line to lifting up your happiness and health. I kid you not. Alright.

这是前两个问题。既然我刚问了你：今年夏天你和谁在一起，或者你希望当时和谁在一起？我想先暂停一下，让我们的优秀赞助商说几句，同时也给你机会把这一集分享给刚刚想到的那个人。把节目发给他们，说：嘿。

That's the first two questions. And since I just asked you, who's someone you've spent time with this summer or you wish you had? Here's what I wanna do. I wanna hit pause so we can give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words, but I also wanna give you a chance to share this episode with whoever came to mind. Share this episode with them and say, hey.

我刚听了这个，我觉得你会喜欢这五个有力的问题。更重要的是，第二个问题的答案让我想到了你。听听看，然后给我发短信，因为该聚聚了，我想你了。

I just listened to this. I think you're gonna love these five powerful questions. And more importantly, your name came up as the answer to question number two. Take a listen and then text me because it's time that you and I hang out. I miss you.

说到“错过”，接下来三个问题你可千万别错过。广告之后我们就讲。别走开，欢迎回来，我是你的老朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

And speaking of missing something, don't you dare miss the next three questions. That's what we're covering after this short break. So stay with me. Welcome back. It's your buddy, Mel Robbins.

今天，你和我一起回答五个有力的问题，这些问题能真正帮助你在生活中体验更多的喜悦、幸福和清晰。我们已经讲完了第一个问题：你现在过得怎么样？第二个问题：最近你和谁一起度过了时光，或者你希望和谁一起？现在，我们准备进入第三个问题：你最近做了什么让你感到快乐的事？你又该如何多做这样的事？

And today, you and I are answering five powerful questions that really help you experience more joy and happiness and clarity in your life. We've already covered question number one, how are you doing right now? Question number two, who is somebody that you've spent time with recently or that you wish you had? And now we're ready to jump in to question number three. What's something that you've done recently that has brought you joy, and how can you do more of it?

你知道吗，有时候，我不知道你是不是也有这种感觉，但我发现自己总是把注意力放在大事上。好吧。比如，我得赚更多钱。我得争取升职。我得考上梦想的学校。

You know, sometimes, I don't know if you feel this way, but I feel like I get so focused on the big stuff. Okay. Like, I gotta make more money. I gotta go for that promotion. I gotta get into my dream school.

我得想办法存钱，好翻新房子、买辆更好的车、去度假，或者别的什么目标。但我敢打赌，只要你停下来想一想，最近有没有哪件小事让你开心？我敢说有，而且很可能跟外在的东西无关，可能只是你做过的一件小事。对我来说，这样的例子太多了。

I gotta figure out how to save money so I can renovate this or buy a better car or go on that vacation or whatever it might be. And I bet if you just stop and think, what's something you did recently that brought you joy? I bet there was something small, and it probably has nothing to do with something outside of you. It probably has something to do with just a little thing that you did. Well, for me, I've got so many examples of this.

事实上，我先讲一个昨晚刚发生的例子，然后再告诉你一件让我特别快乐、我尽量融入生活的事。先说说昨晚。昨晚我心情特别好，因为我们三个成年孩子都在家。一个住在洛杉矶，一个住在纽约，还有一个大二准备返校。所以我们现在是空巢族，能把大家聚在同一屋檐下真的太棒了。

In fact, I'll tell you one first that happened last night, and then I'm gonna tell you something that brings me a lot of joy that I try to infuse however I can in my life. But let me tell you what happened last night. So last night, I'm having a great day right now because all three of our adult kids are home. We have one that lives in Los Angeles, another one that lives in New York City, another one that, you know, is in his sophomore year heading back to college. And so we're empty nesters, and it is just so amazing to have everybody under the same roof.

于是昨晚我们一起做晚饭，坐在外面吃了一顿很棒的家庭晚餐。虫子不算多。我们玩了一个叫“高低”的游戏，我超爱。每人分享今天最开心和最糟糕的瞬间，这是个很棒的小游戏。

And so we all cooked dinner last night, had a great family meal together sitting outside. The bugs weren't so bad. We play this game high low, which I absolutely love. You share the high of the day, you share the low of the day. It's a great little game.

大家轮流来，真的能帮你和别人在更深的层面连接，而不是只问“你看那条新闻了吗”“最近怎么样”。我们玩得很开心。突然，女儿说：好吧，我刚才去沃尔玛买了款游戏。

You just go around and it really helps you connect with people on something deeper than, oh, did you read this thing? What's going on? So we had a lot of fun. And then all of a sudden, daughter said, okay. So I stopped by Walmart, I bought a game.

我们家全是狂热的哈利·波特迷，她买的是哈利·波特版的大富翁。我都不知道还有这游戏。于是她拆开盒子，我们立刻为谁拿哪个小雕像、进哪个学院吵成一团。当然，我们都做过测试，知道该分进哪个学院。我很骄傲地告诉你，我是格兰芬多。

We are psycho Harry Potter fans in our house, and she had bought the Harry Potter version of Monopoly. I didn't even know this game existed. So she breaks this thing out, and we are all arguing over which kind of one of the little figurines we're gonna be and which house we wanna be in. Of course, we've all taken the quiz that tells you what house you should be in. I am very proud to tell you I am Gryffindor.

我女儿、老公和儿子都很郁闷，因为他们被分进了赫奇帕奇，另一个女儿是斯莱特林。先不跑题。说到游戏本身，我们开始玩后特别开心，然后还加码了，因为光是玩就已经很有趣了。这里给你个小贴士：无论是打牌还是桌游，游戏总是乐趣十足，你小时候肯定也玩得很开心。

My daughter and my husband and my son are annoyed because they're Hufflepuff, and our other daughter is Slitter. But I digress. So what happened with the game, because we started playing the game, is we had so much fun and then we took it up a notch because we were just playing the game. And this is a tip, games are always lot of fun, whether it's cards or it's board games. Bet you had a lot of fun as a kid when you were doing that.

所以你可以把这份乐趣找回来。我们加码的方式是：挑战彼此用最好的哈利·波特角色声音来读卡片，结果每个人模仿角色时都让大家笑到断气。最后发现我——我听起来像谁？像那个家养小精灵。叫啥来着？多比。显然我的声音就像多比。总之，我们笑到狂嚎，真的狂嚎。这让我特别开心。

So this is something you can bring back. We took it up a notch and we challenged each other to read the cards in the best Harry Potter voice that we could read them in, and then everybody was dying laughing at each one of us trying to imitate a a character. And it turns out I no. How do I sound? I sound like that guy, that house elf.

所以，这就是带给我巨大喜悦的小事。

What the heck's his name? Dobby. Dobby is what apparently my voice sounds like. But, anyway, we were just howling, absolutely howling. And so that's brought me a lot of joy.

游戏、学习游戏、玩游戏、把游戏带到别人家里。所以就是游戏、游戏、游戏。第二件让我特别开心的事是种花。所以我晒得这么黑，就是因为我一直在花园里忙活。

Games, learning games, playing games, bringing games to people's houses. And so games, games, games. The second thing for me that brings me a lot of joy, gardening. That's why I'm so tan. I've been gardening a lot.

我简直是个怪胎。我居然喜欢端一大杯冰水，在房子外面转悠，给花掐残花。如果你不是园艺爱好者，解释一下，就是把你看到的所有已经开过、现在变得难看的花头掐掉。不仅是为了好看，掐掉残花后，植物会开更多花。我觉得这特别治愈。

I actually this is how much of a freak I am. I actually enjoy having a big glass of ice water and walking around my house outside and deadheading flowers. And if you're not a gardener, that means, like, you pinch off all the dead flowers that have bloomed and then they're, like, you know, kind of, like, gross and ugly. Not just because it makes it look nicer, but when you pinch off the dead flowers, the plant flowers more. I find it so meditative.

这纯属个人爱好。我能在花园里一待就是几个小时，掐残花也能掐几个小时。哦，我们还做了另一件事：地里有很多羽扇豆，春天开过花后，我们把所有结籽的豆荚都摘下来，摘了好几百个。然后我和女儿、她男朋友一起，把种子沿着车道撒了一路。

It's just a personal thing for me. And so I could spend hours outside in my garden. I could spend hours deadheading. I could spend hours oh, another thing that we did is that we have lupin in the field, and we pulled all of the seed pods off the lupin that have already flowered because they flower in the spring, and we pulled hundreds of them off the dead flowers. And then my daughter and her boyfriend and I, we sprinkled them all along the side of the driveway.

我特别期待明年春天开车进车道时，能看到羽扇豆从靠近车道的地方长出来，而不是只在地中间有，就因为我们的这番操作。所以就是两件简单的事：游戏和园艺，都以G开头，我都没刻意安排。但这两样小事就能让我特别快乐。快乐不必靠偶然降临。

And now I can't wait because next spring, when I drive up the driveway, I'm hoping that I'm gonna see lupin that is sprouted close to the driveway instead of in the middle of the field because we did that. And so those are two simple things, games and gardening, both with G. I didn't even plan it that way. But those are two simple things that bring me a lot of joy. Joy doesn't have to happen by accident in your life.

快乐是可以主动创造的。所以问问自己：最近有没有哪件小事让你开心？怎么才能多做一点？怎么把它排进日程，让它经常发生？给你个思路。

Joy is something that can happen on purpose. So ask yourself, what is something that you did recently that brought you joy? And how can you do more of it? How can you build it into your schedule so it happens more regularly? Here's an idea.

我拿园艺举例。如果你是新听众，可能不知道我有个超简单的晨间流程：闹钟一响我就起床，叠被子，刷牙时对镜子击掌，先喝水再喝咖啡，然后出门至少走十分钟，让眼睛晒到明亮阳光、身体动起来，顺便遛狗，安静散步，沉浸在大自然里，我特别享受。走完一圈后，我会绕房子转一圈。

I'll give you an example with gardening. So if you're a new listener, you may not know that I have a very simple morning routine, but I wake up when the alarm rings, I roll out of bed, I make my bed, I then high five the mirrors and brushing my teeth, I drink water before coffee, and then I'm out the door for at least a ten minute walk so I can get the, you know, bright sunlight or the UV into my eyes and I can get my body moving and I walk the dogs and it's a quiet walk so that I'm just taken in nature. I love it. But when I'm done with the walk, you know what I do? I do a lap around the house.

看看新冒出的嫩芽，再检查有没有漏掐的残花，三分钟就能完成，把让我开心的事融进日常。方法可以很简单：Bananagrams玩家就随身带一盒；放副扑克在包里；把桌游摆餐桌旁；在茶几或台面常放拼图，让大家随时能围过来。只要提前布置，快乐就能主动发生。如果你此刻想：天哪，梅尔。

I look at the plants coming up and I look at the deadhead things that I might have missed it. And it's a way for me to incorporate something that brings me joy in three minutes flat. There are simple ways, whether it's keeping Bananagrams, if you're a Bananagrams player, or whether it is having a deck of cards with you, or it is having a board game that is by the dining room table, or having a puzzle out on a countertop or on a coffee table that is always there for people to gather around. There are simple ways that you can do this and make it easy so that it starts to happen on purpose because you made it happen on purpose. And if you're sitting there and you're like, oh my god, Mel.

我现在生活一团糟，根本不知道什么能让我开心。除了工作就是照顾别人，待办清单都清不完，我知道自己累坏了，也知道快乐缺席，我都快不像自己了。首先，我懂，我真的懂。

I am so overwhelmed in my life right now. I don't even know what brings me joy. All I do is work and take care of everybody else, and I can't even get through the to do list, and I know I'm burnt out, and I know joy is missing, and I just I don't even feel like myself. First of all, I've been there. I have so been there.

正因如此，这个问题才关键。朱迪丝·约瑟夫博士的研究表明，人在倦怠或抑郁时，主动创造的小确幸能成为救命稻草。她上过我们播客好几次，是纽约大学医学院的杰出精神科教授，正进行开创性研究，证明微小而刻意的快乐在深重抑郁中也能带来巨大力量。所以，如果你正处在这个阶段，你并不孤单，这个问题格外重要。

And that's why this question is so important. There's a lot of research around those moments in life where you're burnt out or you're feeling the weight of depression and how finding small moments of intentional joy this research comes from doctor Judith Joseph. She's been on the podcast a number of times, a remarkable psychiatrist and professor at NYU School of Medicine. Like, she's just remarkable doing all this groundbreaking research around the impact that small moments of joy can have uneven, very difficult moments of depression, that it's a lifeline. And so if you're in that space, you're not alone, and this question really matters.

最近有没有哪件小事让你开心？怎么才能多做一点？如果你说：我根本没做过任何开心的事，我都不知道什么能让我开心了。没问题，我们就从你现在拥有的开始。

What's something you did recently that brought you joy and how can you do more of it? And if you go, I haven't done anything that's brought me joy. I don't even know what brings me joy anymore. No problem. Let's work with what you got.

我想让你掏出手机，翻看相册，一边翻一边问自己。要知道，我人生中有段时间极度倦怠，肩上压着巨大的压力，以至于得往回翻好几年，才能在某张照片前停下来，感叹：哦，原来我满足又快乐时长这样。哇，原来我和闺蜜们一起跑公路赛时是这样。哇，原来我参加读书俱乐部时是这样。哇，原来我在教堂唱诗班唱歌时是这样。

I want you to take out your phone and look through your camera roll and ask yourself as you're looking through your camera roll. And, you know, there have been periods in my life where I have been so burnt out and had so much stress and pressure on my shoulders that it was years, several years of scrolling back through my photos to find a photo where I could stop and go, oh, that's what I looked like when I was content and happy. Oh, wow, when I was running road races with my girlfriends. Oh, wow, when I was in that book club. Oh, wow, when I was singing in the church choir.

哇，原来我每天都冥想时是这样。哇，原来我更多陪伴家人、更多下厨、更多做剪贴簿时是这样。你的相册里藏着提醒你“你是谁”的东西，有些甚至会让你嫉妒曾经的自己。想想看吧。

Oh, wow, when I was meditating every day. Oh, wow, You know, when I was seeing my family more, when I was cooking more, oh, when I was scrapbooking more. There are things in your camera roll that remind you of who you are. There are things that might even make you jealous of yourself. Imagine that.

你会嫉妒过去的某个自己——那个会为带来快乐的事腾出时间的自己，那个把朋友聚会置于每晚加班之上的自己，那个在做志愿、搞创作、周末去车里露营的自己。于是问题就变成了：好，我自己的人生经历就是线索，它手握证据。

You can be jealous of a former version of yourself, a version of you that made time for things that brought you joy, a version of you that prioritized time with friends instead of constantly working every night into the late hours of the night. A version of you that was volunteering or doing creative things or spending more time on the weekends car camping or whatever it is for you. And so the question becomes then, okay, great. My own life experience holds the clues. It has the evidence.

现在我只需问：怎样才能多做那些事？怎样才能多打理花园？怎样才能挤出时间多读小说？怎样才能去见那些已失联的朋友？因为显然，这些才是曾让我快乐的东西。

So now I just have to ask myself, how can I do more of those things? How can I garden more? How can I find time to read more fiction? How can I make time to see friends that I've lost touch with? Because clearly, these are the things that brought me joy.

最近我开始优先做的另一件事是：我爱去演唱会，爱看现场音乐。于是我给自己定了个小目标——一年看两场，因为它让我超开心。而且，我明白。

Another thing for me that I've started to prioritize recently is I love going to concerts. I love seeing live music. And so I've made it a point to see two concerts a year because it brings me so much joy. And look. I get it.

演唱会很贵，所以我不会连看几百场，但它们带给我的快乐巨大。如果你想去，有个妙招：确定要去的话，当天往往能买到又便宜又好的票，真的，因为票都被黄牛囤了，当天就成清仓大甩卖。所以我们干脆先不买，当天再说。

Concerts are expensive, and that's why I don't go to hundreds of them, but they bring me so much joy. And if you know you wanna go to a concert, here's a great tip. If you know you're gonna go, you can typically get great seats and really cheap tickets day of, honest to God, because all the resellers have bought them all up, and now it's a fire sale. And so we just are like, I know we don't have tickets. We're just gonna wait till day of.

我们会直接开车到场馆，然后现场买票。所以核心问题是：快乐很重要。我觉得我们对快乐有个误解：以为快乐只属于那种“全程嗨翻天”的时段。我想让你把快乐想成救生筏——它能托住你、抬起你、让你找回自己，提醒你人生有很多面，也会经历很多事。

We're gonna drive to the place, and we're gonna go. And so the main point about this question is joy matters. Here's what I think we get wrong about joy. We think joy is reserved for these, like, periods of time where that's all you're going to feel and you're going to be happy. And I want you to think about joy instead like a life raft, that there are ways to buoy yourself, to lift yourself up, to make yourself feel like yourself, to remind you that there are lots of different parts of you, and there are lots of different things you're gonna experience in life.

如果你能给自己留一点微小却真实的快乐——让你笑、让你鲜活的事——然后每周多做一点点，哪怕只是三分钟循环给植物掐枯花，那也是属于我的时间，别人理不理解无所谓，我乐在其中。当你开始这样对自己，开始为这些时刻腾出空，哪怕只是偏爱一把椅子，你知道我从中得到多少快乐吗？

And if you can create room for small moments of joy, things that make you laugh, things that just make you come alive, and if you can figure out how to do a little bit more of that every week, heck, even just the three minute loop looking for the plants and then deadheading, that's just time for me. It doesn't have to make sense to anybody else. I do it because I enjoy it. And when you start to do that for yourself and you start to find moments for that, it could just be that you have a favorite chair. You know how much joy I get?

我有把阿迪朗达克椅，放在门廊有顶棚的角落里，就是一把普通木椅，毫无花哨。但我超爱坐它。我爱它是因为扶手特别宽。

I have this Adirondack chair that is under this covered area in our porch. It's just a, you know, plain old wood Adirondack chair. Nothing fancy about it. I just love sitting in that thing. I love sitting in that thing because it's got these, like, really wide arms.

你可以把胳膊搭上去，放咖啡杯、葡萄酒杯或任何东西，都很稳。我就爱坐在那儿翻开一本书。哪怕只坐五分钟，深呼吸，像我们今日作为好友这样暂停一下，也会让我莫名觉得：我会好的。听起来最傻最疯，可这是真的。

And, know, you can put your arms on there. You can set a coffee cup or a wine glass or, you know, anything on there and it's real steady. I love sitting in that thing and cracking open a book. And even if I only sit down for five minutes and I take a deep breath and I pause like you and I are doing as two good friends today, it just makes me feel somehow like I'm gonna be okay. I know it's the craziest, dumbest sounding thing, but it's true.

我打赌你也有类似的东西。我敢肯定，有某件事能给你带来那种喜悦与平静，每当你花点时间坐在那里、站在那里、躺在那里，或在那个地方做那件事时，你就能彻底松一口气。我要你寻找的正是这个。我要你把它融入你的每一天，因为这就是你应得的。朱迪丝·约瑟夫医生说得对。

And I bet you have something like that. I bet there is something that brings you that sense of joy and peace that whenever you take a moment and you sit there or you stand there or you lie there or you do that thing in that place, you can just exhale. That's what I want you to look for. That's what I want you to incorporate into your day because that's what you deserve. And doctor Judith Joseph is right.

它有一种非凡的力量，能帮你度过人生特别艰难的时期。开心时找快乐很容易；升职了、一切顺利时找快乐也很容易，那根本不费劲儿。但无论你正在经历什么，都允许自己、并有意识地把它塞进生活，这才是真正的超能力。

It has a remarkable way of helping you through particularly the rough periods in life. Like, it's easy to find joy when you're happy. It's easy to find joy when you've been promoted and all things are going amazing. I mean, that's easy. But really allowing yourself and getting very intentional about inserting it into your life no matter what's going on, that's a superpower.

我想先停一下，让我们了不起的赞助商有机会跟你说几句话，因为那会让我开心。我也想让你把这套五个有力的问题分享给你生活中那些总能一起度过美好时光的人。你知道的，也许就是那些你想一起“哈利·波特”一下的人。现在我又换了种声音，看，我连一致性都做不到。

I wanna take a moment so we can give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words with you because that's gonna make me happy. And I also wanna give you a chance to share these five powerful questions with people in your life that you always have a great time with. You know, maybe these are the people that you want to do the Harry Potter thing. Now I've got a different voice. See, I'm not even consistent.

但别走开，因为我们还有两个更有力的问题要一起回答。如果你喜欢前三个，哇哦，我把最精彩的两个留到了最后。所以跟我一起坚持下去。欢迎回来，我是你的伙伴梅尔·罗宾斯。

But don't go anywhere because we still have two more powerful questions that you and I are gonna answer together. And if you liked the first three, holy cow, I've saved the best two for last. So stay with me. Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins.

今天，我特别高兴你在这儿，因为就我们俩，像朋友一样一起聊天，我们要向自己和彼此提出五个有力的问题。我把最精彩的两个留到了最后。让我们进入第四个问题：你一直在拖延、却在悄悄消耗你能量的一件事是什么？

And today, I am so excited that you're here because you and I, it's just us. We're hanging out as friends, and we're asking ourselves and each other five powerful questions. And I have saved, I think, the best two for last. Let's move on to question number four. What's one thing you've been putting off that is just draining your energy?

通常答案都蠢得可以、小得可以，可就因为没做，它总压在你心头，一直在待办清单上。给你举个例子：我家厨房有几个抽屉，四年来一直需要整理，它让我心里发沉。

And usually the answer to this is something so stupid and little, and yet the fact that you're not doing it, it weighs on your mind. It's the thing that's always on the to do list. I'll give you an example. There are drawers in my kitchen that for four years have needed organizing. And it weighs on me.

我知道这很傻，但它就是压着我，因为我一拉开那抽屉——不是每天用的那个，是往下数第二或第三个的那种，你懂的——我的那个里面全是餐垫，乱得一塌糊涂。

I know it's dumb, but it weighs on me because I literally open up the drawer. It's not the drawer you use every day. It's one of those drawers that's like two or three drawers down. You know the one I'm talking about. Mine has placemats in it and placemats that are all over the place.

简直像餐垫跳蚤市场，毫无秩序，完全不配套。家人有一半时间没擦就塞回去。还有什么比抽出一张还带着意面酱渣的餐垫更恶心的吗？

It's like a placemat garage sale in there. They're not organized. They're completely mismatched. Half the time my family puts them away without wiping them off. Is there anything more disgusting than pulling out a placemat that somebody has put away and there's chunks of pasta sauce on it?

这就是我的抽屉。明白吗？我不是整天想它，可每次一拉开，我就“唉，我得收拾一下”。你知道真动手要花多久吗？大概十分钟，可它就一直压着我。

That's my drawer. Okay? And I don't think about it all the time, but every time I open that drawer, I'm like, oh, I need to do this thing. Do you know how long it would take me to do that thing for real? It would probably take me ten minutes, but it weighs on me.

我得做点什么，这就在我的清单上。你一直在拖的是——哦，再给你一个例子，因为这可以是任何事：约那趟牙医、交那笔逾期账单……

I need to do something and this is something that is on my list. What is something that you've been put oh, I'll give you another one by the way. Because it could be anything. It could be setting up that dentist appointment. It could be paying an overdue bill.

可能是，哦，这里还有一个。你有没有给你孩子的儿科医生打电话，预约开学前或赛季开始前的体检？还是你会像我一样，总是把这事往后拖，然后它就一直压在你心头，突然有一天选拔训练的第一天到了，你孩子却不能去，就因为你这个笨蛋没把这事办妥。欢迎来到我的生活，梅尔·罗宾斯。是要把那张沙发放到Facebook市场上卖吗？

It could be, oh, here's another one. Have you called your kid's pediatrician to set up the appointment for the physicals before school starts or before the sports season starts? Or are you going to be like me and it's something that you always put off and then it weighs on you and then all of a sudden the first day of practice tryouts are there and your kid can't go cause you're the idiot who didn't get off the pot and get this thing done. Welcome to my life, Mel Robbins. Is it putting that couch on Facebook marketplace to sell?

是去更新汽车登记吗？就是每次你看到食品柜、那个信封或洗衣篮时，心里就一沉的那件事。还有一件事，说出来可能有点恶心。Oakley去上大学时，我们的猫，面条先生，气坏了。

Is it updating the car registration? It's that thing that every time you see the pantry or the envelope or your laundry basket, you just get this sinking feeling in your heart. Here's another thing for me. This is gonna sound really gross. When Oakley went to college, our cat, mister Noodle, was so angry.

你知道它干了什么吗？只要有机会溜进Oakley的房间，它就在地毯角落里撒尿。我知道这很恶心。然后我就进去用地毯清洁器清理。它大概这么干了有两三个月。

Do you know what he did? He would get into Oakley's room any chance he could get and pee in the corner of his carpet. I know it's disgusting. And then I would go in there and I would do the carpet cleaner. He probably did this for two or three months.

不管我点多少蜡烛、烧多少香，也不管我洗过多少次地毯，我一走进那个房间就想：天啊，我得处理一下。然后我又走出去，这事就一直压着我。到底需要做什么？我得找个铺地毯的，预约一下。

It doesn't matter how many candles, how much incense I burn in that room, how often I have shampooed that carpet. When I walk into that room, I'm like, oh, God, I need to do something about this. And then I walk out and it weighs on me. And what would it take? I got to find a carpet installer and just schedule an appointment.

然后我们就开始各种折腾。结果你知道吗？快两年了。我知道你可能在评判我，我不在乎。

And now we're off to the races. Instead, you know what it's been? Almost two years. And I know you're probably judging me. I don't care.

Oakley好像也不介意，他就在房间里猛点香。可我还是知道，他又要去上大学了。要是我现在就起身拿起电话，找个铺地毯的，就能约到九月初他走了以后来换，因为我已经叫过地毯清洁师了。那位专业清洁师拿着蓝光照了一圈，转头对我说：我可以洗，但实话告诉你。

Oakley doesn't seem to mind. He just burns a lot of incense in his room. But still, I know he's leaving for college. If I were to just get off my rump here and pick up the phone and call a carpet installer, I could book an appointment for early September when he's gone to just have him come in because I already called the carpet cleaner. I called a professional carpet cleaner to come in, and he hit that thing with the blue light, and he turned to me and he said, you know, I could clean this, but I'm gonna tell you something.

这味道根本洗不掉。要是我就干脆把这块地毯掀了，重新铺，因为实在太恶心了。当连地毯清洁师都说恶心时，你就知道真的该换了。既然说到这儿，我再告诉你一件事，显然我拖延的事还真不少。但你看这个。

It's not gonna come out. If I were you, I would just rip this thing out, and I would just start all over because this is disgusting. When a carpet cleaner tells you it's disgusting, you know it's time to replace the carpet. And I'll tell you another thing while we're on it because clearly, I've got a lot of things that are putting off. But look at this.

就刚刚发生的。好吧，我凑近点。你能看到这里有个红红的印子，你知道这是什么吗？

This just happened. Okay. So I'm gonna come close. But you can see right here, I've got this, like, bloody mark right here. You know what that is?

这是个基底细胞瘤，不是恶性的。我爸管它叫“车身锈斑”，得刮掉。但你看，上次给我做莫氏手术的那位简直把我切成了拼图。

That that is is like a basal cell. It's not cancerous. I have like, my dad calls it, it's like rust on a car that needs to be scraped off. But look at this thing. The last person that did a Mohs surgery on me butchered me.

看看这一堆疤。我知道这痂又从旧疤里冒出来，显然是同一个问题，他们还得再挖再缝。我要拖多久才会去预约？

Look at all the scars I have right here. And I know what this is because this scab is now coming through the scar. It is clearly part of the same problem. They're gonna have to dig it out and stitch me up and all that stuff. How long is it gonna take me to make an appointment?

五分钟？我已经拖了两周了。我贴了创可贴，每天涂SPF50。我不知道我身体怎么回事，我其实都不怎么出门。

Five minutes? I have been putting this off for two weeks. I put a Band Aid over it, and I wear SPF 50 every single day. I don't know what it is about my body. I'm not even outside that much.

我每天早上散步走三分钟的环线，其他时间都在工作。但天哪，我得把这事儿办了，它一直压着我。只要没贴创可贴，我就能感觉到它。

I'm doing my three minute loop and my morning walk. Otherwise, I'm working. But holy cow, like I need to get this done and it's weighing on me. It's weighing on me because I feel it. Unless I put a band aid on it, I feel it.

它蹭着我的皮肤，血都染到衬衫上了。我得做点什么。好，我提这个还有另一个原因，我想问你个问题。

It's rubbing against my skin. It's bleeding onto my shirt. I need to do something about it. Okay. Here's the other reason why I'm bringing this up, and I wanted to ask you this question.

因为我看到一个我很喜欢的TikTok账号，叫“到底要花多久？”。我深受启发，账号主是个叫Christy的年轻女孩。在这个账号里，她会说她拖了某件事多久，然后真的去做。

Because I saw this TikTok account that I love called how long does it actually take? And I was so inspired. There's this young woman named Christy. And on this account, how long does it actually take? She talks about how long she's been procrastinating on something, and then she does it.

她还会计时。你会发现，那些你拖了好几年的事，其实五分钟就能搞定。就像我，得预约莫氏手术，或者得整理放餐垫的抽屉，因为东西乱放让我抓狂。这些压着你的事，不到一小时就能清掉。所以我想让你、也让自己做件事。

And she times how long it takes her. And what you realize is that the things that you've been procrastinating on for years literally can take five minutes. And you have all these things, whether for me it's like I gotta book this Mo's appointment or I've gotta organize my drawer with the, like, placemats because nothing is where it should be, and it drives me crazy. You have all these things that you let weigh you down, and it would take you less than an hour to just get it off the list. And so here's what I want you to do and here's what I want me to do.

我们今天能不能只选一件事？我不管选什么。我知道我要干嘛：打电话预约莫氏手术，把这东西切掉。就这样。

Can we just pick one thing today? I don't care what it is. I know what I'm gonna pick. I'm gonna call and get my Mohs surgery appointment for this thing. That's it.

只要五到十分钟，我就能约到时间，我会去做。设个计时器，看看实际到底多久。

It's gonna take me five to ten minutes. I'm gonna get it scheduled. I'm gonna do it. Set a timer. Time yourself.

别多想，别找借口，直接做。我告诉你结果。

Like, see how long it actually takes you. Don't think. Don't make excuses. Just do it. And here's what I'm gonna tell you.

做完你会感觉超轻松，而且你会有证据：这件拖了数月数年甚至数周的事，其实只花了这点时间，你会很开心。不客气。好，进入最后一个问题：这周你想尝试什么新东西？

You're gonna feel so much later after you're done, and you're gonna have proof of how long something truly took you that you've been putting off for months or years or weeks or whatever, and you're gonna be happy. You're welcome. Alright. Let's move on to the final question. What's something new that you wanna try that you can do during the week?

再说一遍：这周你想尝试什么新东西？你看，你可能跟我一样，习惯把好玩的全攒到周末，等不上班再享受。结果周末被塞爆，或者像我一样，计划一堆，可一周工作下来累瘫，只想睡懒觉。

Well, say that again. What's something new that you wanna try that you can do during the week? See, you are probably like I am. You're so used to saving up all the fun for the weekends, saving it up for when you're not working. But then the weekends get totally over scheduled or like me, you plan to do a ton of stuff but then you're so exhausted from working all week that you are like, okay, I'm gonna sleep in.

然后转眼就11点了，接着你冲向农贸市场。转眼又1点了，然后你得去遛狗。接着就3点了。

And then it's like 11:00. And then you run to the farmer's market. Then it's 01:00. And then you got to walk the dogs. And then it's 03:00.

“天啊，晚饭吃什么？”于是原本应该有趣的周末就这么结束了。所以我想让你问问自己，工作日下班后或孩子上学时，你能尝试什么新鲜事？是舞蹈课？健身课？

And, oh my God, what are we having for dinner? And so the weekend that was supposed to be fun is now just over. So I want you to ask yourself, what's a new thing that you can try during the week after work or while the kids are at school? Is it a dance class? A fitness class?

烹饪课？美术课？有没有你想晚上上的网课？加分项：如果你带个朋友一起去，或者在那儿交新朋友；超级加分项：如果你觉得自己特别不擅长。比如，你一直想学画画。

A cooking class? An art class? Is there an online class that you want to take at night? And bonus points, if you bring a friend or you make a friend while you're there, and extra bonus points if it's something that you think you're really bad at. Like, let's say you've always wanted to paint.

你小时候超爱画画，总被绘画课或陶艺课吸引，但你心想：“天啊，我完全是新手，这得多尴尬。”不，不。

You used to love to paint when you were little. You've been drawn toward painting classes or pottery classes, but you're like, oh my god, I'm such a beginner. This is gonna be such a cringey thing. No. No.

“觉得自己很菜”反而加分。这会儿我一时也想不出工作日能干啥。所以我想让你现在就行动：如果你在Spotify听，或在YouTube看，直接去评论区，把你的点子写进去。如果用Apple，咱们就在评分里众筹创意：给这期打分，同时留个想法——工作日能做点什么酷事？

Bonus points if you think you're really bad at it. And it's kinda hard for me to even think of something during the And so here's what I want you to do. If you are listening right now on Spotify or you're watching on YouTube, go right to the comments, and I want you to put your ideas in there. If you're on Apple, the way that we can crowdsource things there is go to the reviews and, like, leave a review about this episode, but also please give us an idea. What's something cool you could do during the week?

我之所以爱这个点子，是因为很多生产力研究都表明：如果工作日给自己安排点事，你就有了下班的理由。你有没有发现，不管在家还是在公司，都很容易赖在桌前？要是今晚没事，你是不是总忍不住再开电脑？可一旦你报了课——要去图书馆听讲座、要去宗教场所做志愿者、要去社区参加活动——那就太棒了，你得准点走！

And one of the reasons why I love this is that there's a lot of study about productivity. If you give yourself something to do during the work week, it means you have a reason to leave work. Have you ever noticed it's just so easy to stay at your desk whether you're working at home or you're working at work? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to go back to your laptop if you've got nothing going on tonight? It's so awesome when you've got something you need to go do, the class that you signed up for, the lecture that you're going to at the local library, the volunteer day at, you know, the house of worship that you go to, the, thing that you're gonna do in your neighborhood.

另一个重要原因是：学新技能能让大脑生长，还能帮你老得更健康。牛津大学有项研究，一半人连续六周上杂耍课，另一半啥也不干。结果，学杂耍的人大脑真的变了。

And here's the other reason why this is important and why trying something new is important. Studies show that learning a new skill grows your brain and helps you age better. In fact, in one study, check this out, at Oxford University, researchers had half of the participants in this study take a juggling class for six weeks. The other half didn't do anything. The people who took the class around juggling changed their brain.

他们大脑里负责视觉和空间的部分——正是杂耍用到的区域——变厚了，因为他们在学新技能。酷吧？所以别干坐着腐朽。

They changed the visual and spatial parts of their brain. These are the parts that you use for juggling. And so in the study, they became thicker because they were learning a new school. How cool is that? So don't just sit there and rot.

别光工作，工作日找点事做。我也说说我的计划：有家新开的馆，有芭蕾把杆课、瑜伽课，我都上过，可他们还开晚上5点半的街舞课。嗯，5点半。

Don't sit there and work all the time. Find something to do during the week, and I'm gonna tell you what I'm gonna do. There's a new studio that opened up that offers, like, barre classes and yoga classes, and I've done some of those classes, but they also offer hip hop dance classes at night. Uh-huh. 05:30.

我还没报名，因为我想：“5点半？我不确定能不能赶到。”5点半，5点半……等等，Mel，别废话了。

And I have not signed up because I've been like, oh, 05:30. I don't know if I could get it there by town for 05:30. 05:30. Wait. Mel, knock it off.

只要提前半小时开始工作就行。你可以五点半到那儿。五点半你能赶上飞机。你也能去上嘻哈舞蹈课。事情是这样的。

Just start working a half an hour earlier. You can get there at 05:30. You can make a plane flight at 05:30. You can get to a hip hop dance thing. Here's the thing.

我从来没上过嘻哈舞蹈课。我有严重的阅读障碍。我学 choreography 特别差。我是那种在婚礼队形里，你知道，大家都在跳——那叫什么？就像排舞，所有人动作一致。

I have never taken a hip hop dance class. I am super dyslexic. I am terrible at choreography. I am the person in one of those lines at a wedding, you know, where everybody's doing a what what do they call it? Like a line dance where everybody's doing the same.

我就是那个转错方向的人。大家都出右脚，我出左脚。所以我确实不擅长，但我一直很想成为厉害的舞者。我一直想学 shuffle 舞步。因此这就是我要投入去做的事。

I am the person that turns in the wrong direction. I'm the person that has the left foot when everybody has the right foot. So I'm bad at this, but I've always wanted to be a great dancer. I've always wanted to learn shuffle dancing. And so that's what I'm going commit to.

在评论里或在评价里告诉我，你准备投入做什么？因为我们都需要一个停止工作的理由。我们都需要一个走出家门的理由。我们都需要一个理由、一个地点、一些机会，去学习新事物、尝试新事物。作为你的朋友，我们一起做。

Tell me in the comments or tell me in the reviews, what are you going to commit to? Because we all need a reason to stop working. We all need a reason to get out of our houses. We all need a reason and a place and opportunities to learn new things and to try new things. And so as your friend, let's do it together.

明白了吗？好。那么让我最后再问你们这五个问题。第一，你现在到底过得怎么样？

Got it? Good. Alrighty. So let me ask you those five questions one last time. Number one, how are you really doing right now?

告诉你，哪怕只是跟你聊聊，我感觉好多了。我好一点了。而且因为我们一起回答了这些问题，我也感到更清晰。我们今天的谈话一开始就在说“清晰”。

I'll tell you something. Even just talking to you, I feel better. I'm feeling a little better. And I also feel, since we've answered these questions together, I have a sense of clarity. We were talking about clarity at the very beginning of our conversation today.

我感觉更清楚了，你呢？我感到有力量。我感到兴奋。我知道有些简单的事能让我振作起来，带来更多快乐；能卸下我一直背负的负担，那些我一直拖着其实可以立刻完成的事。

I feel clearer, don't you? I feel empowered. I feel excited. I feel like I know there are some simple things that I can do that are gonna lift me up and bring me a little bit more joy. They're gonna remove the burden that I feel, things that I've been avoiding doing that I could probably just knock off the list.

我很兴奋，对这些充满期待。希望你也一样。那么，你现在到底过得怎么样？第二个问题，这个夏天你花时间陪伴了谁，或者你希望陪伴谁？

And I'm excited. I'm excited about some of this stuff. I hope you are too. So how are really doing right now? Question number two, who's somebody that you've spent time with this summer or you wish you had?

你知道，我讲了我们的“大狗重聚”和十五小时公路旅行的故事。你想和谁一起开车去看？你想念哪位朋友？你想见谁或希望多陪谁？太好了。

You know, I shared the story about our big dog reunion and the fifteen hour road trip. Who is it that you'd like to go road trip and see? Who's a friend that you miss? Who is somebody that you want to see or wish you'd spend more time with? Great.

把这期节目发给他们，并附上一句话：嘿，第二个问题，我第一时间就想到了你。等你听完，咱们就通电话，定个计划，把日期写进日历。至少花十分钟电话聊聊，因为我想你，想见你。我们说过，不再坐等偶遇，而要主动让它发生。而这就需要你行动。

Send them this episode and send it with a note like, hey, question number two, you are the person who came to mind. As soon as you're done listening to this, like, let's get on the phone and let's make a plan and set a date in the calendar. At least let's, like, just spend ten minutes on the phone catching up because I miss you and I wanna see you. And one thing that you and I have talked about, we're gonna stop sitting around hoping it happens by accident, and we're gonna make it happen on purpose. And that's where you come in.

好，第三题。你最近做了什么让你开心的事？怎样才能多做一点？我聊到了游戏，游戏对我们家来说是一大乐趣，也让我很开心。我还聊到了园艺。

Alright. Question number three. What's something you did recently that brought you joy, and how could you do more of it? I talked about games and games being a big thing for our family that brings me a lot of joy. I also talked about gardening.

它对你来说完全不需要有道理。我还跟你分享，我就喜欢坐在这张阿迪朗达克椅里，给自己五分钟，不管是喝杯咖啡、读几页书，还是单纯欣赏风景。第四题。有什么事你一直拖着，正在消耗你的能量？好。

It doesn't have to make any sense to you whatsoever. I also shared with you that I just enjoy sitting in this Adirondack chair and just having five minutes to myself, whether I'm enjoying a cup of coffee or I'm reading a couple pages in my book or I'm just taking in the view for a minute. Question four. What's something you've been putting off that's draining your energy? Alright.

我已经坦白了我那恶心到家的地毯，还有放了浓稠番茄酱的餐垫抽屉，也给你看了我胸口那个“癌变”的东西——其实不是癌，你懂我意思，不危及生命，但我得把它弄掉。这些事在消耗我。我可以一个个解决。

I've already confessed about my disgusting carpet and my placemat drawer with the chunky tomato sauce, and I've shown you the, cancerous thing on my chest. Well, it's not can you know what I mean. It's, like, not life threatening, but I need to get it off my chest. Those are things that are draining me. One by one, I can knock them off.

有什么事你一直拖着，消耗你的能量，但其实不到一小时就能搞定？就去把它做了。把这块石头放下，不就轻松多了？当然轻松。第五题。

What's something that you've been putting off that's draining your energy that's gonna take you less than an hour to get done, just get it done. Free yourself of that burden. Doesn't that feel better? Of course, it does. Question number five.

这周你有没有什么想尝试的新东西？这邀请挺有趣吧？加分项是：你明知道自己会搞砸——就像我明知道自己跳嘻哈舞会很烂，但就让别人笑去吧，我还是要跳。有时候你我都忘了，一个简单的问题有多强大。

What's something new that you've been wanting to try that you can do during the week? That's a fun invitation, isn't it? And bonus points if it's something that you know you're gonna be bad at, just like I'm gonna be horrible at this hip hop dancing class, but you know what? Let them judge me because I'm gonna let me do it anyway. You know, sometimes you and I forget how powerful a simple question can be.

不是因为它立刻给你答案，而是因为它逼你停下来，逼你自检，逼你对自己诚实。今天的对话就是关于这个：你和我，从生活的混乱里抽个空，慢下来，反思一下，然后记得——生活里有很多小事能给你巨大快乐。这五个问题不止今天用，它们是你可以反复使用的免费工具。

Not because it gives you the answer right away, but because questions force you to stop. They force you to check-in. They force you to get honest with yourself, and that's what our conversation was all about today. Just you and me, taking a moment out of the chaos of life to slow down, to reflect, and to remember, there are so many little things in your life that bring you so much joy, and those five questions, they're not just for today. These are a tool for you, a free tool that you can come back to over and over and over again.

其实，这期很适合收藏。每当你感觉状态不对、日子太难、想不起上次大笑是什么时候，或觉得孤独，就回来听一遍。它会给你暂停的许可，给你五个有力的问题，帮你重启并照亮前路。还有件重要的事：这些问题没有标准答案，绝对没有。我第一次问时，你的答案可能跟刚才我复述时不一样，我的答案也稍微变了。

In fact, this is a great episode to bookmark because whenever you feel like you're a little off or life's really hard or you can't remember the last time that you laughed or you're feeling really lonely, come back and listen to this because it will give you the permission to pause, and it will give you these five powerful questions that help you reset where you're at and illuminate the path forward. And here's one more important thing. There is no right answer to these questions, period. In fact, when I asked them the first time, your answers may be different than when I recapped them just now. Mine kinda shifted a little bit.

回答完这些问题，我感觉好了一点，也想到了更多能让我开心的事，相信你也会有同感。因为只要问出口，你就离属于自己的正确答案更近一步。怎么知道那是对的？因为那是只对你而言正确的答案，不需要对我有道理。

How I felt, I felt a little better after answering these questions. I also thought of more things that I could do that could bring me joy, and I think you're gonna find the same thing too. Because just by asking them, you get yourself closer to your right answer. And that's how you know that they are the right answers because they're the right answers for you. They don't have to make sense to me.

也不需要对任何别人有道理。这些问题揭示的是你的真相，你一听就懂。接下来只要顺势而行。如果今天没人跟你说，那作为你的朋友，我一定要说：我爱你，我相信你，我相信你有能力创造更好的生活。

They don't have to make sense to anybody else. These questions are questions that reveal the truth for you. It'll make sense to you immediately. And then all you gotta do is lean into it. And in case no one else tells you today, I wanted to be sure to tell you as your friend that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life.

一个你热爱的生活，一个带给你快乐的生活，一个你把见那些让你振奋、对你重要的人当成优先事项的生活。你要主动去做，而不是坐着等它偶然发生。你比自己想象的更有力量，而这五个有力的问题每次都会向你证明这一点。好啦。

A life that you love. A life that brings you joy. A life where you make seeing people that lift you up and that are important to you a priority, that you do these things on purpose instead of sitting back and waiting for it all to happen by accident. You're so much more powerful than you think, and these five powerful questions reveal that to you every time you ask them. Alrighty.

我会在下一集就在这里等你。你一按下播放我就会迎接你。那里见。+1，23456789101112。你看不到桌子底下，对吧？

I'll be waiting for you right here in the very next episode. I'll be waiting to welcome you in the moment you hit play. I'll see you there. +1, 23456789101112. And you can't see under the table, right?

因为我基本穿着热裤。直接从健身房过来的。是啊。没人想看那个，尤其我自己。嗯，这画面谁都不想看到。

Because I'm basically wearing booty shorts. Came straight from the gym. Yeah. Nobody wants to see that, especially me. Well, this is not a sight anybody wants to see.

稍等一下。目前一切正常吗？好的。很好。哦，好。

Hold on a second. Are we good so far? Okay. Great. Oh, okay.

我只是不知道我是不是做错了什么还是怎么回事。好吧。我们时间还够吗，trace？你知道吗，我有一种清晰感。我刚才在说清晰，当我们——等等。

I just didn't know if I was doing something wrong or what's happening. Alright. How are we on time trace? You know, I I have a sense of clarity. I was talking about clarity when we hold on.

我不知道——哦，也许在这边？我不确定我这里有那些。它们可能在我桌上。哦，等等。稍等。

I don't know oh, it's over here maybe? I don't know that I have those here. They might be in my, on my desk. Oh, wait. Hold on.

我——我把它们盖住了。抱歉。谢谢。大家干得漂亮。哦，还有一件事。

I don't I I covered them up here. Sorry. Thank you. Great job, guys. Oh, and one more thing.

不，这不是花絮。这是法律条款。你知道的，律师写的那些，我得念给你听。本播客仅用于教育和娱乐目的。

And no. This is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes.

我只是你的朋友。我不是持证治疗师，本播客不能替代医生、专业教练、心理治疗师或其他合格专业人士的建议。明白了吗？好。下一集见。

I'm just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

SiriusXM 播客。

SiriusXM Podcasts.