每天早晨对自己说的六个字

哇哦。

Wow.

我还正好赶上这个季节性的鼻窦问题。

And I also happened to get this kind of seasonal sinus thing.

你现在都能听出我嗓音不太对劲。

You can kind of hear it in my voice right now.

我累坏了。

I was so tired.

整个人又丑又肿，状态差到爆，但我记得你的方法。

I felt so ugly and puffy and yucky, and I knew your method.

我就对自己说：好吧，梅尔，你这会儿糟透了，但你希望感觉怎么样？

And I said, all right, Mel, you feel like shit, but how do you want to feel?

你希望——

How do you want

想感觉怎样，又需要感觉怎样？

to feel and how do you need to feel?

因为你可是梅尔·罗宾斯啊，你得带着整个团队在四天内完成九期节目。

Because like you're Mel Robbins, like you need to lead this team through nine episodes in four days.

没错。

Yes.

你这时候要是病倒了，怎么撑得下去？

How are you gonna be I that can't afford to get sick right

现在可不行。

now.

对啊。

Yeah.

你根本做不到。

You're not gonna do it.

我确实做不到。

I'm not gonna do it.

所以我对自己说，我必须感觉无所不能。

And so I said, I need to feel invincible.

我得觉得自己所向披靡。

I need to feel unstoppable.

对。

Yeah.

我还得特别有底气。

And I need to feel confident.

我喜欢这些词。

I love these words.

这简直就是三把火。

That is like a fire trio.

没错。

Correct.

特别有力量。

Very strong.

火一般的能量。

Fire force energy.

是啊，我完全可以穿上我那套老行头。

Yeah, I could put on my same uniform.

就是嘛，我那件黑T恤都穿了十年了。

Like I, you know, have worn the same black shirt for ten years.

那条黑裤子的款式，我也差不多穿了十年。

I've worn the same black pants style for almost ten years.

但我刚翻出了你让我在金球奖活动上穿的那双靴子。

But then I pulled out these boots that you had me wear for one of the events at the Golden Globe.

我老开玩笑说，得使劲儿穿，好把每穿一次的成本摊薄。

I always joke I'm trying to wear them as much as possible to get the per price per wear down.

可当我穿上这双靴子——现在正穿着呢——它们居然到膝盖以上。

But when I pulled on the boots, and I'm wearing them right now, they go up to the knee.

简直帅到没朋友。

They're crazy amazing.

好了，现在穿上这双靴子，我感觉自己无敌了。

I like, all right now, I am invincible in these boots.

就像神奇双子的超能力启动一样。

It's like Wonder Twins Power Activate.

那几天我硬是撑过来了，说真的，是因为我清楚知道自己必须完成一件事。

And I powered through those days, and I kid you not, it was the intentional nature of I have something I need to do.

周五回到家，第二天早上我一醒过来，感觉糟透了。

Now, when I got home Friday, that next morning, I woke up and I felt horrible.

我就问自己：今天我想感觉怎么样？

And I said, How do I wanna feel today?

我说：安全。

And I said, Safe.

我想被保护着。

I wanna feel protected.

我就想软乎乎的、放松一下。

And I just wanna feel soft.

于是我翻出了最舒服的一条运动裤。

And I grabbed the coziest pair of sweatpants.

这裤子丑死了，老掉牙了，但就是绝了，还有这件格子法兰绒的。

They're hideous, they're old, they're amazing, and just this flannel,

这不就是那种典型的老爸风嘛。

That's like, kind of dad

运动裤，格子的，对。

sweatpants, plaid yeah.

我一连睡了三天。

And I slept for three days straight.

穿着这身窝在沙发上，我给自己开了绿灯，就允许自己慢慢放松。

But laying on the couch in those clothes, I gave myself intentional permission to just ease in.

我知道听起来有点怪，但我真没骗你。

And I know it sounds kind of weird, but I kid you not.

明天早上你起来，也试试这么干，停一停，问自己：我今天想怎么感觉？

When you go tomorrow morning and you use this and you pause and you say, How do I wanna feel?

然后你就会发现，心里头有什么东西突然就变了，就像绝地武士开挂一样。

Something crazy shifts inside It's like Jedi shift.

是的。

Yes.

这机制真是奇妙。

It's wild how this works.

埃琳，我还有好多问题想问。

Erin, I have so many more questions.

咱们先插个广告，让赞助商跟听众们说几句话。

I need to take a quick moment so that we can give our sponsors a chance to share a few words with our listeners.

但我也想请你帮忙分享这一期节目。

But I wanna give you a chance to share this episode.

这期节目可能会彻底改变你朋友、姐妹、女儿、妈妈或奶奶对自己的看法。

This is one of those episodes that could fundamentally change the way one of your friends or your sister or your daughters or your mom or your grandma sees herself.

这番对话能提供实实在在的方法，帮人开启人生的新篇章。

This is a conversation that will provide specific tools that will help somebody step into this next chapter in their life.

如果你有朋友总抱怨身材、抱怨衣橱，还老是乱买衣服，这期节目就是为她准备的。

If you have a friend that's been complaining about their body, complaining about their wardrobe, who spends way too much money on clothes, this episode is for them.

花一分钟，发个消息、发个邮件，不管用啥办法，一定要转给他们，别走开，因为埃琳·沃尔什这才刚要开始呢。

So take a minute, text it to them, email it to them, get it to them however you can, but don't go anywhere because Erin Walsh is just getting started.

而且我们团队还有三位成员要来分享，他们都试过埃琳的有意识穿搭法。

Plus we have three members of our team who are gonna be joining us who have tried Erin's intentional dressing method.

你一定得听听他们怎么说，这方法到底有多管用。

You gotta hear what they say about how this works.

别走，继续听。

So stay with me.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你们的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your friend Mel Robbins.

今天，咱们要跟着埃琳·沃尔什学怎么用一个问题来有意识地穿搭——你希望穿出什么感觉？

Today, you and I are learning how to dress intentionally using this one question, how do I wanna feel?

来自非凡的埃琳·沃尔什。

From the extraordinary Erin Walsh.

这个我们正在学的转变，不仅会改变你对每一天的体验，还会改变你对自我、对生活以及对可能性的认知。

This one shift that we're learning about will not only change how you experience your day, it's gonna change how you experience yourself, your life, and what's possible.

好了，Erin，咱们直接接着聊这个。

All right, Erin, let's just jump right back into this.

现在我要再深入一层。

I'm now gonna go a layer deeper.

当

When

我看到一个人打扮得特别有条理，就会觉得她真的很照顾自己。

I see somebody that looks really pulled together, I see a woman that really takes care of herself.

如果我想让自己更有条理，想觉得自己尊重自己，想觉得自己值得，那就该穿能让我感受到‘我对自己很好’的衣服。

And if I wanna feel more pulled together, if I wanna feel like I respect myself, if I wanna feel worthy, I should put on clothing that makes me feel like I've done that for myself.

没错，这正是关键行动部分。

Totally, and that's the action part of it.

你总是提到行动、生活里那些微小的步骤和养成的习惯。

You talk about actions and the small steps you can take and the habits you make in your life all the time.

这已经成了一种习惯。

That's a habit.

你选择尊重自己。

You choose to honor yourself.

你选择认真对待生活。

You choose to get intentional.

这就是在一点一点地改变你的人生。

That's changing your life bit by bit.

每一件事你都得认真对待，比如——连内衣都要讲究。

You gotta get intentional about every single thing, like, whether it's your underwear.

我不是说你非得买特别贵的内衣，但如果你把第一件穿在身上的东西，当作对自己的一种用心投入呢？

The first thing you put on your body not to say that you have to, you know, buy super expensive underwear, but what if you, like, invested in the first thing on your body being intentional to you?

你只会在抽屉里留那些让你感觉被包裹、被支持的衣服，用你自己的话来说，就是能让你安心的东西。

And and you'll only put in your drawer things that made you not necessarily sexy, but made you feel held and supported, whatever the words are that you want that to do for you.

我觉得这会是

Well, I think it would be

如果我们打开抽屉，发现里面不是一堆发黄变形的旧内裤，而是整齐干净的，对大多数人来说都是个进步。

an improvement for most of us if we opened up the drawer and it wasn't just stained and stretched out underwear that you're, like, putting on is the first thing.

没错。

Totally.

嗯，我会的。

Well, I I will

我今年57岁了。

tell I'm 57 years old.

好吧，我得坦白点说几件事。

Okay, I'm just about to confess some things here.

我这才穿了差不多一年的配套内衣和文胸。

I've only worn matching bras and underwear for about a year.

真的吗？

I okay.

首先，谢谢你这么坦诚。

First of all, thank you for being honest.

我就在想，我到底为啥纠结于买配套的内衣？为啥还死抱着那些又脏又松垮、快成牙线的旧货？我到底在坚持什么？

And I thought, what is my hang up about buying myself matching bras and underwear, and why am I holding on to this, like, awful stained, stretched out thing that turns into dental floss, rides Why the wrong am I holding onto this?

我为啥不能花十块钱好好对自己一次，买点新的？

Why can't I spend $10 on myself and get a

对啊，这正是关键——从换一套新的开始。

new That's pair of part of it.

其实就是这些小小的举动。

It's it's these small, small actions.

你得先定个基础线。

So, like, you start with a baseline.

就该从这儿开始。

That should, like, start there.

先从内衣换起。

Start with your underwear.

只要是新的，就买。

Buy anything new.

还得有支撑型的内衣，不然你穿着裙子，要是里面不舒服、不好看，整个人都没自信。

Also have the supportive pieces because you can't the supportive pieces, you can't be wearing a dress if you don't like how your body looks underneath the fabric.

对。

Yes.

我觉得这点特别重要，但很多人都忽略了。

I think that's that's relevant, and people forget about that.

当你缺乏这些基本装备时，那种恶性循环就很容易发生。

That's where they also the spiral happens when you don't have the tools in your arsenal.

明白了。

Okay.

所以第一件事，我很喜欢我们这种想法——穿搭不是要当最时髦的人，而是用衣服来表达你今天想呈现的状态。

So the first tools, and I love that we're thinking about fashion not as you gotta be the most stylish person, but it's a tool to embody how you wanna feel today.

没错。

Yeah.

其实最时髦的人啊，嗯……

And the most stylish people, Oh.

比如，当然会有这样的衣服，看起来特别美，但真正让人记住的，不是衣服本身，而是穿它的人——他们是谁，而他们的状态又源于内心的感受。

Like, there of course, there's gonna be the element of, like, that's a beautiful dress, but the people you remember because of what they wear, it's about how they are, and how they are is informed by how they feel.

所以人们会被那种看起来毫不费力的人吸引，对。

So drawn to people that look effortlessly Yeah.

自信的人，对。

Confident Yeah.

我觉得还有开心的人。

And I think happy.

快乐就在这里，当你内外一致的时候，内心的感受和外在的装扮对上了，快乐就来了。

That's where the joy is because the joy comes when you are in alignment, when your insides align with your outsides.

这其实是幸福和可能性的关键。

That's like the key to happiness and possibility.

这也就是为什么这件事这么重要，它能帮你成为你想成为的人——你穿上那套西装没问题，但如果你不把它和真实的自己、你想感受的情绪、你本来的样子连起来，它就只是空壳。

I I it's it's what it's another reason why this is so important and so, like, the key to becoming the person you want to be because you can put on that suit, but until you connect it with an element of yourself and how you want to feel and who you inherently are, it's not gonna make sense.

它根本无法向世界讲述真正的你。

It's certainly not gonna tell the story of you to the world.

我刚意识到，用这种有意识穿搭的方式，我以前完全做反了。

Well, I just realized in this method of dressing intentionally, I've been doing this completely the opposite.

要么我就只顺着现在的真实感受来穿——累垮了、精疲力尽、只想熬过这一天，天哪。

So either I only anchor down on how I actually feel right now and then dressing like aligned with tired, exhausted, I gotta get through the day, oh my God.

要么就是为讨好别人穿，但我从来没问过自己：我到底想感觉怎么样？

Or you're dressing to impress somebody else, but I haven't actually asked myself how I want to feel.

对啊。

Yeah.

比如你要去参加一个社交活动，或者开家长会。

Like if you're going to a networking meeting or you're going to a parent teacher conference.

没错。

Sure.

想象一下，要是你去开家长会前特别紧张，孩子有IEP计划，你希望学校能提供支持，或者想跟老师处好关系，那时候你会怎么穿？

Like, imagine how you would change how you dressed if before this parent teacher conference where you're really nervous, you got a kid with an IEP, you want them to get services at the school, or you wanna have a good relationship with with the the teacher teacher, Yeah.

在那种会面里，你希望自己是什么感觉？

How how do do you you wanna wanna feel in that meeting?

其实大家通常都是这么做的。

Well, here's what people do.

他们一上来就想着该穿什么、想给别人留下什么印象，结果反而觉得自己不像自己了。

They jump to the thing that that they should wear and how they want to be seen, and when they do that, then they don't feel like themselves.

连说话做事都变得不自然。

They don't act like themselves.

说话吞吞吐吐，整个人都不自在。

They they step on their their words, and they don't feel comfortable.

根本感觉不到状态最好时的自己。

They don't feel their best.

但如果你先想清楚自己想成为什么样的人、想有什么感觉，你的穿搭就会帮你自然地进入那种状态。

When you start from a place of how you want to feel, then your choices allow you to feel like that person.

这才是关键。

That's the game changer.

所以我们不该为了角色去穿衣服。

So we shouldn't dress for the part we want.

你该先为自己穿衣，穿上那个你想成为的人该穿的样子，因为你先尊重了自己想成为的样子，才能把这份真实带给世界。

You should dress to embody the person you want to be first for yourself, because by honoring who you want to be for yourself, then you offer that to the world.

如果你一上来就想着别人怎么看，那就丢了跟自己的连接，怎么都会觉得别扭。

When you jump to how you want to be seen by others, that's missing the connection of yourself, and you always feel uncomfortable.

你知道吗

You know what

我觉得特别棒的是，我们请过这么多专家来聊怎么改变心态、改变习惯、改善健康，所有研究最后都指向一个很简单——不是容易，但很简单——的建议：你今天怎么行动，决定了六个月后的你会是谁。

I love about this is that we've had so many experts come on and talk about how you change your mindset or how you change your habits or how you change your health, and all of the research comes back to a very simple recommendation, not an easy one, but a simple one, that how you act today is a determination of who you're gonna be six months from now.

没错。

Absolutely.

你今天的习惯，就是在预测你的未来。

And your habits today predict the future.

如果你希望六个月后的自己更健康、更平静、更自信，那你今天就得像那个已经做到的人那样去行动。

And if you want the future you to be in better shape or to be calmer or to be more confident, you have to act today like a person who does those things.

现在你明白了，穿衣也是工具箱里的一件工具，帮你在今天就活出六个月后你想成为的那个人。

And now you're layering clothes as a tool in the toolbox that we have to be able to act today like the person you want to be six months from now.

但我真想聊聊为自己穿衣这件事——你怎么想让自己感觉更好，怎么通过穿着去体现你想成为的那个人，想在当下向世界传递的样子。衣服就像晨间习惯、心态一样，都是工具。我就在想，我有多少天是穿着运动服出门的。

But I wanna unpack dressing for yourself and how you wanna feel and embodying in how you wanna feel the person you'd like to become and you'd like to project in the world today, and how clothing is a tool, just like a morning routine is, just like mindsets are a tool that you can I'm just thinking about the number of days that I get dressed in my exercise clothes.

是的。

Yeah.

你喜欢那些衣服吗？

Do you like them?

它们配得上吗？

Do they match?

不配。

No.

确实该换了。我现在的运动服都旧得不行了，

We gotta work out Now, my exercise clothes are old and

对，那确实不行。

Yeah, they that's don't not good.

确实不行。

That's not good.

我可不想穿着这身去超市买东西。

And I probably shouldn't go to the grocery store in them.

现在这裤子都勒出骆驼趾了，屁股也松垮垮的。

Now, we're camel toe, like saggy butt.

我不是说克里斯托弗·罗宾斯那种风格，我是说……

Like, I'm just saying, is not poor Christopher Robbins, like the way.

但我想说的是，因为我以前不懂得有意识地穿衣，整天就穿着运动裤瘫在办公桌前，那些日子我根本懒得打扮，就那样混着过。

But what I'll say is that there's so many days that because I had not learned the art of intentional dressing, where I will sit in a pair of leggings all day at my desk just be and doing my the days that I bother, it's

简直像中了邪。

a spell.

你想想，为啥你总觉得自己不够好？

And then you wonder why you don't feel worthy.

只有当我愿意洗个澡、好好收拾自己的时候。

The days that I bother to take a shower and pull myself together.

没错。

Yep.

你感觉怎么样？

How'd you feel?

我觉得不一样了。

Well, I feel different.

是的。

Yeah.

甚至都没问自己想怎么感觉。

Even without asking myself how do I wanna feel.

对。

Mhmm.

这六个字的步骤真的能带来巨大转变。

This step of these six words is so transformational.

这让一切变得有意义。

It makes it matter.

没错。

Yes.

为了他。

For him.

然后你就觉得自己很重要。

And then you feel like you matter.

是的。

Yeah.

你不再让别人替你做主了。

And you're not letting other people decide for you.

对。

Yes.

这就是讲述你自己的故事的关键。

That's the part of telling your story.

你可以选择走进房间时，穿着打扮成你希望别人看到的样子；也可以先明确自己是谁、为什么重要，然后再去影响别人。

Could either enter a room and dress for how you want to be seen, or you decide who you are and why you matter, and then you decide for them.

而这，就是你想要讲述的故事

And that's the story you tell to

这个世界。

the world.

我太喜欢这句话了。

Oh, I love that.

是的。

Yeah.

这就解释了为什么我们走进每个房间时，都感觉那么孤单——因为我们根本没穿出让自己真正感觉自在的样子。

It's it's like Maybe this is why so many of us feel alone in the rooms we're walking into because we haven't even dressed in a way that makes us feel truly how we wanna feel.

如果你连自己都不是，根本没法和别人真正连接。

You can't connect with somebody unless you feel like yourself.

你做不到的。

You're not going to.

所以啊，你感觉孤单太正常了。

So like, of course you feel alone.

明白了。

Alright.

所以我们聊了一些具体的方法。

So we've talked some tactics.

你说了，咱们都知道那六个词。

You've said, we know the six words.

该怎么选呢？咱们知道要停下来想想。

How do I wanna we know we pause.

对。

Yeah.

我们知道要问自己：我想要什么样的感觉？

We know we ask ourselves, how do I wanna feel?

六个词。

Six words.

对。

Yeah.

挑三个词出来。

Pick three words.

你还提到，一个很好的起点是：看看你衣橱里现在有没有三件衣服，就从这儿开始。

You also said a great place to start is, are there three things in your closet right now Start there.

那些能让你真正感受到那三种感觉的衣服？

That just embody?

你可以把这些衣服当制服，一整个星期都穿，看看它们怎么让你感觉不一样，让你更真实地活出那三种状态。

Like, you can wear this sucker like a uniform all week and just see how differently you feel embodied in these clothes that make you feel these three things.

不过接下来咱们聊聊更深层的。

Now let's talk though about the next layer.

更深层的？

The next layer?

就是说，我们大多数人的衣橱，其实都是过去版本的墓地。

The next layer being that most of our closets are like a graveyard of the old versions

是的。

of Yes.

每个人都会这样。

So everybody does this.

原因可太多了。

There's so many reasons.

你可能买过特别贵的东西，结果心里老觉得亏得慌。

You might buy something that's very expensive, and you have, like, guilt about it.

好多人衣柜里还挂着价签呢。

A lot of people have clothes with price tags in their closet.

很多人都这样。

A lot of people do this.

对。

Yes.

我也是。

I have.

结果呢，既不送人也不卖，就因为觉得‘说不定哪天我又能穿了’——可这根本不是你真正想成为的样子。

And then they won't even give it away or sell it just because they're like, well, maybe and the thing with holding onto something because you might be that person, it still doesn't relate to who you want to be.

你只是在拿它试身而已。

It's like you're trying on that thing for size.

你其实早就知道，这衣服跟你没共鸣。

You already know it doesn't resonate with you.

我建议你为了这个原因，把衣柜里的每一件衣服都试一遍。

I recommend trying everything in your closet on for this reason.

通过感受每一件衣服穿在身上的感觉，你才能真正了解它带给你的体验。

Like, in the exercise of knowing how every sing every single piece makes you feel, you have to know how it feels on your body.

来，跟我走一遍，这一步特别关键。

So walk me It's crucial.

所以你走进衣柜，做有意识的穿搭时，先停一下，问自己：今天我想感觉怎么样？

So so you walk into the closet, The Art of Intentional Dressing, you pause, you say, how do I wanna feel today?

然后你心里要找三个词。

And you're looking for three words.

如果你盯着那些代表你已经不再是这样的人、或者让你觉得自己穿不上、配不上它们的衣服，

If you're staring at things that represent who you no longer are or who make you feel or that make you feel bad about yourself because you can't fit in it.

对。

Yeah.

或者那是那个甩了你的人买给你的。

Or maybe that dude that dumped you, bought it for you.

完全对。

Totally.

人们总是舍不得那些有回忆的衣物。

People hold on to the nostalgic items.

我觉得，像你妈妈或者奶奶，或者你深爱的人留下的毛衣，这种有感情的物件，我可不是说要你扔掉。

I think, like, with nostalgic pieces, if there are some of course, like, if there's a sweater of your mom's or, like, you know, your grandma's or someone you loved, I'm not saying get rid of that.

这种留着没问题。

That's fine.

如果你有条件，甚至可以专门腾个地方放这些有纪念意义的东西。

Like, you can even have a separate place for that if if you want, if if you have the luxury to do so.

但关键是，你得清醒过来——从现在开始，你要清楚自己想感受什么，想成为什么样的人，想在每个空间里怎么生活。你拥有的每一件东西，从衣橱开始，往后延伸到整个人生，甚至包括你允许谁走进你的生活，都得跟这个目标一致。

But I I think, like, you have to the clarity, it all starts now and having clarity on how you want to feel, who you want to be, how you're gonna operate in every single room, every single thing that you own starting in your closet, but then later in your whole life should even including the people you let into your life should reflect that.

所以我们努力

And So we try

每一件事上，

in everything,

我们就会看看，

and we look

它。

at it.

我们会问：这件东西让你感觉怎么样？

We say, how does this make you feel?

每一件东西都这样，这正是最棒的地方。

Every single piece, and that's that's the great part about it.

你会慢慢变得更有意识。

You you start getting intentional.

当你没做到的时候，你其实能感觉到。

You can feel when you're not.

然后你就会意识到：哎，我好像没在做真实的自己。

And then you start feeling like, oh, I'm I'm not being true to myself.

就算那天你特别懒、觉得自己胖乎乎的，觉得状态糟透了，你还是有机会重新找回她。

And even on the day when you're feeling so lazy and so fat and, like, oh, not good, on that day, you get a chance to do that again, and you can find her again.

到了晚上，你累得不行，明明生病了，一整天都快被压垮了，还要强撑着做最好的自己，这时候你完全可以对自己温柔一点，穿上那件让你感觉柔软又舒服的衣服。

And then at the end of the day, when you're really tired and being your best self was really exhausting because you're sick and, like, it's just been a little bit overwhelming, you can you can, like, have a little compassion for yourself and put on the thing that makes you feel soft and cozy.

这其实就是一整天的各个片段。

Like, it's all these chapters of the day.

比如我——

Like, I

而且我很高兴你提到，除了把脏内衣扔了、存点钱买新的，你根本没说非得花钱不可。

have And I love that you're not you're telling us other than getting rid of the stained underwear and, like, putting up some money so that you get some new ones, you're not saying you have to buy anything.

这根本不是关于买东西。

It's not about buying.

我鼓励大家在衣橱里搞个实验场。

I encourage people to make a laboratory in their closets.

就是说，你要把它变得有趣一点。

So, like, so you wanna make it fun.

我觉得每季度都得做一次整理，把衣柜里的每一件衣服都翻出来看看。

I I think quarterly, you gotta do this exercise of going through every piece in your closet.

它让你感觉怎么样？

How does it make me feel?

穿上试试看。

Try it on.

给自己拍几张照片，存到手机里做个穿搭相册。如果你更进一步，就把那些让你感觉特别棒的搭配组合起来，试着玩出新花样，搞清楚它们为啥好穿、好搭——这样早上一睁眼抓瞎时，‘我到底该穿啥？’，你就有个现成的‘经典款合集’，特别管用。

Take pictures of yourself in the pieces so you can create a photo album on your phone so you and then even if if you're, like, next level, you put together the pieces that make you feel great and you experiment with outfits and you learn how they work and why so that if you're feeling lost in the morning and what the F do I wear, you have like a go to, like, greatest hits section that's quite helpful.

你得花点时间去尝试、去摸索。

You have to take some time to experiment.

就像我们昨天做的，哪怕是最普通的白衬衫，你反着穿，整个人的气质都不一样了。

And most people, like we did this yesterday, I love, like, with with, like, even your basic white shirt, you put it on backwards, and that's telling a different story of you.

可能听起来有点怪，别吓着啊。

And that might sound very weird to some of you, so don't get scared.

但我跟你说，当你换种方式穿衣服，或者随便用别针一别，突然就发现：嘿，其实这样也不错。

But I'm telling you, when you just try on things differently or you pin it up differently and and you decide, you know what?

那条牛仔裤我穿了两年，我觉得露出脚踝的样子更显气质，特别有女人味，穿起来整个人都不一样了。

Those jeans I wear for two years, I think they look cuter when they show my ankle because that's really feminine, and that makes me move a different way.

我们每个人其实都有那么一两件穿了特别有感觉、至少不讨厌的衣服，你可以从这些开始。

And all of us have something that we feel great about or at least okay with, and you can start there.

这就是你的基础，然后——

That's your baseline and then

再慢慢往上加。

you go up from there.

那要是现在穿啥都觉得不是自己，我该怎么办？

So what do I do if nothing feels like me anymore?

啊。

Oh.

我也说不清为啥，就是觉得现在穿衣像穿制服，运动鞋一蹬，啥都不想折腾。

I don't know why I feel this way, but I just feel like part of the uniform and the sneakers and just like no fuss in terms of how I dress.

要么在佛蒙特州穿人字拖、搭配女款工装裤或者衬衫、T恤，要么就直接套上我的‘标准装备’。

Because I'm either up here in Vermont in Birkenstocks and a pair of like dovetail women's and workwear a jean shirt or a t shirt, or I'm in my uniform.

但你知道吗？

But you know what?

我看到很多女性对时尚或者自己的美感到疏离，其实是因为我们身为女性，尤其是职场女性，身上扛着太多事，整天忙着做事，反而忘了怎么去‘存在’。

I see, like, a lot of women who feel disconnected from fashion or even their own beauty, it's because as women, and as working women, and as women with lots of balls in the air, we get in the business of doing, and we lose our understanding of being.

当你真正放松下来，允许自己慢下来，那种宁静的状态里，你才能感受到美，感受到自己的女性能量。

And in the being energy and, like like, letting ourselves relax, that's when you can feel beautiful and, like, your feminine energy.

如果你从没习惯这样，突然让你停下来，反而会觉得不自在，甚至觉得陌生。

And when you're not used to that or you're not in the habit of it, you forget about it, and it feels uncomfortable, and it feels foreign.

我们穿衣服，可不只是为了应付日常琐事。

We're not meant to just be putting on our clothes and doing all the things.

我们还该用穿着带来的那种能量，去感受自己更多的可能性，包括那份柔软。

We're also meant to, like, use the energy of what we wear to feel into our possibility, and that includes the softness.

我觉得你邀请我们做的这件事，内涵太深了。

I think there's so much depth to what you're inviting us to do.

对。

Mhmm.

这里面有好多层意思。

A lot of layers.

你刚才说到，我觉得男人可能也有这种感觉，但女人尤其明显——总在照顾别人，自己却没时间慢下来，永远把自己排在最后。

Because when you said the piece about, you like, know, I think men feel this too, but women in particular, like taking care of everybody else and no time to slow down and I'm always last on my list.

而当你真正开始这么做时，最好的方式就是每天早上一睁眼，先把自己放在第一位。

And this is really when you lean into this, a way to put yourself first, first thing in the morning.

是的。

Yeah.

还要去觉察并命名你今天想带着怎样的情绪和能量去生活。

And to name the emotions and the energy of how you want to move through the day.

与其只写个清单，比如‘我想感觉轻松、有力量、优雅、 fabulous、棒极了’——这些都挺好，但别把自己框住。

It's like instead of just making writing down a list of like, these are all the things I wanna feel, easy, empowered, elegant, fabulous, wonderful, Those are all great, but don't limit yourself.

真正的目标，是让自己变得无限可能。

The idea is to become limitless.

所以每挑一件衣服时，问问自己：它让我感觉如何？你的答案，可能会让你自己都惊讶。

So when you, with every piece, ask how does this make you feel, it might surprise you, your answer.

我们大多数人是不是老穿那八件衣服来回换？

Is it true that most of us wear the same eight things over and over again?

是啊。

Yes.

我觉得大家总爱穿那些自己觉得靠谱的衣服。

I think people tend to wear what they know works.

这就容易让人卡住，不再成长，就像有些人也不愿意拓展朋友圈、不跟新的人交流一样。

So that's also how you get, like, stuck, and you stop expanding, and you stop learning how like, it's the same way people stop expanding who they hang out with or who they talk to.

你就是老挑安全的、觉得舒服的，但其实安全反而是个坑。

Like, you stick with what feels safe, and safe is in bad.

我也是这样。

I've

我一直在这么做。

been doing that

我们都这样。

for We all are.

那些能让你觉得安心的单品确实得有，但它们同时也得能发挥别的作用。

And you should have the pieces that make you feel safe, but they should also do other things for you.

要是哪天它们没法满足你的需求了，你就得跟着慢慢更新自己的穿搭。

And when they don't anymore, you should keep just, like, evolving.

那有没有什么办法能让我们看上去气色更好，甚至说——不用减肥就能看起来瘦一点？

So what's the best way to look better, and dare I say, a little thinner, without having to lose weight?

就是说，怎么才能穿出我们本来的

Like, how do we look like our

最好的状态

best selves

当我们状态还没调整到最好的时候？

when we're not at our best place?

那第一条建议就是，衣服要合身剪裁

So number one, tailoring.

很多人穿的衣服都和自己的身形比例对不上

Like, most people wear clothes that don't fit their proportions correctly.

所以就算肩部设计很夸张，你也得尊重你身体本身的线条。

So even with, like, a bold shoulder, you still wanted to honor the, like, the lines of your body.

第一，剪裁。

Tailoring, number one.

我觉得关键就在于懂得到底怎么让衣服的结构和比例贴合你的身材，穿起来才舒服又有型。

I I think, like, that that does it and and and understanding proportionally what feels good and structured on your body.

结构永远能帮到你——那什么是结构？

Structure will always offer you What is structure?

我的意思是，其实啊——

I mean, there's

这指的是内衣，但不是说用内衣来遮盖什么 cellulite 之类的。

that means from your undergarments, and that's not about, like, undergarments hiding, like, cellulite or whatever.

而是帮你撑出身体该有的轮廓和线条。

That's about supporting the shape and the structure of your body.

明白了。

K.

所以我跟所有人都说，你没必要非得穿得像好莱坞明星那样量身定制。

So I tell everyone, you don't need to have, you know, the Hollywood tailored to the stars.

你的干洗店就是个超棒的帮手，记得把裤子的裤脚熨平，好好打理一下。

Your dry cleaner is an excellent tool for this, and make sure your pant hem's matte, like, that you take care of that.

外套别穿得像把你吞了，如果你偏爱宽松的西装外套，那就要注意整体比例协调。

Make sure with your jackets, they're not swallowing you, or if you want, like, an oversized blazer, make sure proportionally you're you're matching.

那我该关注身体的哪些部位呢？

So what parts of my body am I looking at?

是看肩膀到腰线吗？

Am I looking at my shoulders to my waist?

还是到臀部？

To hips.

明白了。

Okay.

我觉得大多数女生都需要一条能配高跟鞋穿的裤子，就像你之前说的，那条能搭运动鞋的裤子。

I would look at I I think most women need a pants that they can wear with a heel, and as you were telling me, like, your pant that you can wear with the sneakers or whatever.

是的。

Yeah.

我有一条最钟爱的牛仔裤，虽然现在没那么喜欢了，但当时还挺合适的。

Have my favorite pair of jeans, although they're not my favorite anymore, but there's they were they were acceptable.

穿起来挺好看的。

They look good.

对。

Yeah.

我买了两条。

I bought them I bought two pairs.

对。

Yeah.

没错。

Yeah.

一条配高跟鞋穿，另一条配平底鞋。

One that I wear with a heel and one I can wear with a flat.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得女性得投资一些叠穿单品，比如——

I think women need to invest in, like, layering pieces to, like

这话什么意思？

What does that mean?

就是说，如果你有自己最爱的那套搭配，比如我超爱的高领毛衣，还有那件让我感觉特别有型的外套，再配上能收腰的牛仔裤，搭上我那双超酷的靴子——你得有那么几件真心喜欢的东西，比如随便往肩上搭件毛衣，或者就那么一披，真的能让整体比例更好看，让你——

So, like, if you have your shape outfit that you like, like, that's my favorite turtleneck, and that's my jacket that, like, just, like, I feel a little bit polished in that, and those are my jeans that cinch my waist, and I can wear my cool boots, and I feel like I gotta you need to have, like love I love, like, tossing a sweater over the shoulders or even just, like, just because that offers more proportion to, like You're

你可是个宽肩党。

a big shoulder pad person.

我确实是，这其实关乎一种敢于占空间的底气。

I I am, and I it's, about being unafraid to take up space.

我特别喜欢的一点是，随便往牛仔裤、白T和西装外套上一搭件毛衣，立马就有了质感、柔软感、层次感，还带点保暖效果。

Well, what I also like about even just thinking about throwing a sweater on to your jeans, your white t shirt, and your blazer is you're adding texture and softness and layers and protection in some level.

没错。

Exactly.

没错。

Exactly.

你身上穿的每一件东西，其实都在讲故事。

I and everything that you put on your body is telling the story.

连配饰也别忽视，全都要考虑进去。

So even, like, don't do your jewelry, all of it.

我觉得每个人都该有那么几件有趣的小单品，比如放在门口的那副酷炫墨镜，或者一双搞笑的厚底鞋、木屐啥的——就算你赶着去办事，或者送孩子上学，哪怕穿着运动服、搭件白衬衫，只要配上这么一件，整个人立马就有型了，气场直接拉满。

I think that there's, like people should have the fun pieces that even, like, by your by your door, have, like, that great pair of sunglasses, that funny, you know, chunky shoe or clog or whatever, just so, like, if if you have errands even or you're going to drop off the kids, there should be one element of your outfit, even if you're in your workout clothes with, like, a white man shirt that makes you feel cool and great and, like, just a little bit turn up the volume.

就算时间再紧，也总能做点什么。

It's like, even when you don't have that much time, like, there's always something you

对，确实能。

could do.

咱们聊聊那些不合身的衣服吧。

So let's talk about clothes that don't fit.

是啊。

Yeah.

我该留着吗？

Should I keep them?

别留。

No.

等等，你说啥？

But you what?

行吧。

Okay.

为啥你不留不合身的衣服？

Why do you not keep clothes that don't fit?

我可太懂这个了。

I'm guilty of this.

我就是会想，哎，说不定哪天能穿得上呢。

I like, you can give them Don't I

我可不想打开衣橱，满眼都是穿不进去的衣服，觉得自己好失败。

wanna walk into my closet and feel like crap about myself because I'm surrounded by things that I can't squeeze into?

那个陵墓。

The mausoleum.

是啊，我昨晚为了给你看，试过那条裤子。

Yeah, I had a pair of pants on that I tried on for you last night.

我留着这条裤子都六年了。

I have held onto these suckers for six years.

不。

No.

更年期的身材，真的撑不起来了。

My menopause body does not work.

我明明能拉上拉链，可你一看就说：这根本不适合你。

I was able to zip them up and you're just like, those do not fit you.

不。

No.

是时候跟它们说再见了。

It's time to say goodbye,

梅尔。

Mel.

时候到了，这难道不让人兴奋吗？

It's time, and how exciting is that?

这有什么好兴奋的？我可是花了不少钱买它们，结果都没怎么穿就淘汰了。

You're It's not exciting because I feel like I spent a lot of money on them and I didn't get did, the wear out of it.

其实有办法让你不觉得亏得慌。

And there's things you can do so that you don't have to feel bad about that.

那该怎么做？

What do you do?

你可以把衣服卖了。

You can sell your clothes.

我还特别喜欢和亲朋好友轮流交换衣服，就是那种共享圈子。

I also love the idea of sharing, like like, share circles with friends and family that you love.

哎，这衣服我穿不了了。

Like, oh, this isn't working for me.

你可以办个派对来搞这个。

You could have a party with it.

就是把那些衣服拿过来，特别有意思。

Like, bring what I that's really fun to do.

这样特别棒，因为你不是在劝大家非得买新衣服。

That's really fun because then you like, you're not telling everybody just to buy new clothes.

而是让大家互相换着穿。

You're sort of mixing it around.

说真的，你到底需要多少件衣服？

Like, how many clothes do you actually need?

你知道吗，

You know what

我的意思是，

I mean?

其实根本不需要太多。

Like You don't need a lot.

你得有几首代表作。

You need to have your greatest hits.

我觉得这张专辑里，你算算一周、一个月的使用频率就明白了。

I think in this album, like, look look at look at the math of a week and a month, right?

嗯，明白了。

Okay.

你得清楚自己到底在干嘛。

You have to know, like, what you're doing.

那你到底需要几套上班穿的衣服？

So how many work outfits do need?

你是上班族吗？

Are you a working woman?

你到底想打造什么样的形象？

Like, who what what's the story of you telling?

首先，你是不是在上班？

Like, number one, are you working?

你周末的时候，也需要换不同的衣服吗？

Like, oh, do you do you need different outfits, like, in your weekend time?

你平时经常出差吗？

Like, do you have other do you do a lot of travel?

你得经常旅行吗？

Like, do you need traveling?

你得看看自己人生的路线图，这样才能明白真正需要什么。

Like, you need to look at the road map of your life and that's gonna identify what you need.

这条裤子能撑得住我工作、出差、吃饭、开会各种场合吗？

Are these pants that serve me, like, when I'm in my work mode and then in my travel mode or, like, in my dinner mode or in a meeting mode?

我特别喜欢一点，就是当你认真挑选衣服时，每一件都能呼应你身上的不同身份。

One of the things I love about the possibility of clothes and getting intentional about it is that all your clothes honor all the roles you wear.

我认识的所有女性，都不是只有一种样子。

All the women I know, they're not just one person.

一天之内，她们可能要切换八九种角色，衣服能跟着你一起转变，支持你、认可你，这特别重要，而我们常常忘了这一点——这不仅是让你穿上想成为的那个自己，更是个关键原因。

They're probably eight to nine in the course of a day, and energetically, having your clothes be able to shift with you and honor you and support you in all these roles is essential, and it's something that we forget, and it also makes it another reason why it's so important besides the idea of embodying the person you want to be.

这是在尊重你内心的每一个自己

It's honoring all the people that you have

整天都能以最好的状态应对各种场合，真的很棒

to serve all day long with, like, being able to be your best self.

这太妙了，你其实是在捕捉那种有意识的能量

This is brilliant because you're also tapping into intention Yeah.

还有意图背后的能量

And the energy of intention.

我以前看衣橱，总是慌得不行：这身能凑合穿吗？

And forever, I've looked at my closet like, oh my god, what's gonna look okay?

对

Yeah.

我从来没认真想过：我今天想怎么过？想感觉怎么样？怎么用这些衣服帮我达成那种状态？

I've never put myself first in terms of intentionally saying, how do I actually wanna move through the day and feel, and how am I gonna use the stuff that's hanging here to make me do that?

好了，埃琳，咱们就这么办

Okay, Erin, here's what we're gonna do.

我超爱你的这种方法。

I love your method.

我早就开始用这个方法了。

I've been using the method.

我真没想到它这么有力量，能带来这么大的改变，但我还是想亲自试试。

I am shocked by how powerful and transformational it is, but I wanted to test it.

所以我找了我们团队里三位处于不同人生阶段的女性。

So, I asked three different women on our team who are in different stages of life.

一位是新手妈妈，一位是更年期后的，还有一位是刚战胜乳腺癌、刚做完膝盖置换手术的奶奶。

One of the women is a new mom, another one is post menopausal, and another woman is a grandmother who recently survived breast cancer and had a knee replacement.

我让她们今天早上就用你刚教我们的这个简单方法来搭配衣服。

And I asked them to use everything that you just taught us, this simple method, to get dressed this morning.

接下来，我们请她们上来分享一下。

And what we're gonna do is we're gonna bring them on.

来，别坐着了，赶紧起来。

So let's get you out of that chair.

咱们搬个沙发进来，别走开啊。

Let's get a couch in here and don't go anywhere.

广告结束后，我们马上回来，继续听非凡的埃琳·沃尔什分享。

After we hear a word from our sponsors, we are gonna be right back with more from the extraordinary Erin Walsh.

别走，继续听。

So stay with me.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔。

It's your friend, Mel.

真高兴你来了！

I'm so excited that you're here.

谢谢你今天过来。

Thank you for being here.

也谢谢你把这一切分享给你身边的每一位女性。

Thank you for sharing this with all of the women in your life.

我和埃琳·沃尔什的这场对话太棒了。

I'm loving this conversation with Erin Walsh.

我们在聊有意识地穿搭的艺术，她教我们六个神奇的词，从今以后每天早上打开衣橱时，你只要问自己一句：我今天想感觉怎么样？

We're talking about the art of intentional dressing, and she's teaching us the magic of these six words that you're gonna ask yourself every morning from now on when you open your closet, you're just gonna ask yourself, how do I wanna feel?

这六个词就是在设定意图，帮你把衣服当成工具，让心情跟着走，一整天的能量都能被调动起来。

And those six words are setting an intention and helping you use your clothing as a tool to make you feel a certain way and to harness your energy as you move through your day.

我真的超爱这个理念。

I'm loving this.

所以，我想做个尝试。

And so, here's what I wanted to do.

我的意思是，埃琳，你确实了不起，但我真想亲自试试看。

I mean, Erin, you're extraordinary, but I really wanted to put this to the test.

我太喜欢了。

I love it.

我其实特别想说，你知道的，

I'm so Well, because, you know,

听说你跟赛琳娜·戈麦斯、安妮·奥这些名人合作过，好吧。

you hear that you work with people like Selena Gomez and Anne Oh, okay.

你经手的都是红毯时刻、杂志大片，那我们普通人呢？

And all of these red carpet moments and these editorial photo shoots, but what about the rest of us?

我们普通人怎么办？

What about the rest of us?

对啊。

Yes.

我呢，

I

所以我特意找了三位我特别欣赏的女性，她们正处于人生的不同阶段。

love so, I asked three women that I love who are in all different stages of life.

一位刚生完孩子，一位更年期后，还有一位是癌症康复后又做了膝关节置换的奶奶。

One is postpartum, another one is postmenopausal, and another one is a grandmother who is post cancer and post knee replacement.

她们仨都熟悉你的方法。

All three of them know your method.

他们今天早上被要求问自己这六个字：我今天想感觉怎么样？

They were instructed to ask themselves this morning, those six words, how do I wanna feel?

接下来，我们来听听他们每个人怎么说。

And now we're gonna talk to each one.

第一个是杰西。

And the first is Jessie.

我得跟正在听或看的你们说，杰西是我们团队里超棒的视频剪辑师。

And I just have to say to you listening or watching, Jessie is one of our extraordinary video editors.

她几乎剪辑了这个播客的每一集。

She has edited almost every episode of this podcast.

杰西，你不到一年前刚生了孩子。

So, Jesse, you had a baby less than a year ago.

自从有了你可爱的女儿艾娃，每天穿衣服这件事有什么变化吗？

And how has getting dressed every morning changed since having your beautiful daughter, Ava?

我觉得最难熬的心理关，就是产后要重新学着穿衣——身体完全变了，尺码也全不一样了，以前从没买过这种尺寸的衣服，也没穿过这种风格。

It has been the hardest mental hurdle, I think, that I was not prepared for to dress postpartum with a completely new body, new sizes that you've never had to shop for, look for, wear.

你穿的都是别人给的旧衣服，因为你心想，

You're getting hand me downs because you're like,

这只会是暂时的，

this is gonna

这阶段总会过去的。

be a phase.

身材会恢复的。

It's gonna fall off.

没错。

Totally.

等我断奶了，或者就算继续喂奶，也总会有点变化的。

As soon as I'm done breastfeeding or as soon as or if I stay breastfeeding, something's gonna happen.

对啊。

Mhmm.

但其实并没有。

It doesn't.

产后本身就够难的了，更别说怎么穿衣服了。

And it's just been a just a postpartum itself is hard, let alone how to dress yourself.

你很容易就陷入亚当·桑德勒那种风格——全身松松垮垮的，过去一年我衣柜里基本都是这类衣服。

Because you can easily fall into the the slump of the Adam Sandler vibe of just baggy everything, which has been a lot of my wardrobe the last year.

说得对。

Call for that.

是的。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

全都是图舒服。

It's all comfort.

但总得有个人收拾得体面点吧，孩子是一回事。

And there has to be an elevated person who shows up because the baby's one thing.

我跟老公还真说过这话。

But I actually told my husband this.

我们做到了。

We did it.

我们挺过了第一年。

We did the first year.

马上就要满一年了。

We're about to hit the one year mark.

这太了不起了。

This is huge.

这一年真不容易，但接下来这一年，我们得调整一下方向。

What an amazing year it's been, but this next year, we need to pivot it back.

我现在正琢磨着该怎么去应对。

And that's what I'm trying to figure out of how to navigate.

得从衣服开始，找回那种感觉和自信，毕竟体重不可能明天就掉下来。

It just starts with your clothes and how you feel and your confidence back because it's not like the weight's gonna fall off tomorrow.

所以

So

恭喜你。

Congratulations.

谢谢。

Thank you.

谢谢你。

Thank you.

当妈妈真美。

Beautiful becoming a mom.

所以，杰西，在你学会那六个字之前，咱们回退几天说说。

So, Jesse, until you learned the six words, let's go back like a couple days.

对。

Yeah.

每天早上走进衣帽间的时候，你是什么感觉？

When you would walk into your closet in the morning, how did you feel?

全都……

Everything

现在都偏大，但我觉得穿着刚好，挺舒服的。

is right now oversized, which to me, I'm like, it fits, it's comfortable.

得方便活动，毕竟带着小家伙，她一会儿站一会儿走，现在又开始爬了。

It has to be easy to maneuver with a little one with just the ups and downs of her standing and walking and now she's crawling.

我从来都没觉得杰西穿哪套衣服是真正让我喜欢的。

And so I never have felt good that Jesse that was like, I love this outfit.

看起来是挺好看的，但……

It's it looks beautiful.

说实话，我现在都不认识镜子里的自己了，毕竟新年新气象，衣柜全换了，可这消耗比我想象的要大得多。

I mean, that I don't know that person right now because it is a new year, and it is a whole new wardrobe, and but I it takes a toll that I was not expecting.

是啊。

Yeah.

这对你有什么影响？

How did it impact you?

挺难的，我记得产后第四个月，我还把所有衣服都翻了一遍，明明想着体重会掉下去的。

It's hard because I I think it was maybe like month four postpartum, I actually went through all my clothes even though I was like, I'm gonna lose the weight.

但我没扔，因为我超爱这些牛仔裤。

And I didn't because I love all these jeans.

我在这上面可花了不少钱。

I spent a lot of money on these clothes.

说实话，不合身就别留着，该丢就丢。

And it was like, just be honest, if it doesn't fit, get rid of it.

等你回到理想身材了，再买新的也不迟。

You can always go buy something new when you do get to a size you wanna be.

清理完之后，感觉特别轻松。

And that felt really good to go through and weed it out.

你把这些都处理掉了。

And you got rid of them.

是啊，我扔了。

Oh, yeah.

我也把它们全清了。

I got rid of them.

但这样做的副作用是我反过来买了大好几个码的衣服。

But the bad side of that is I went the opposite to sizes.

我挑的都是特别宽松的。

I went stuff that was too big.

对啊。

Right.

因为我想把身材全都藏起来。

Because I want everything hidden.

没错。

Right.

我把怀孕前穿的衣服全清掉了。

I got rid of the stuff that was a pre baby

是啊。

Yeah.

杰西。

Jesse.

然后我就走到了另一个极端，我觉得这其实不对。

And then I just went the other extreme, which is not right, I don't think.

从比实际该穿的大两号开始，

To go from like two sizes above what I should be wearing actually,

你懂的？

you know?

说起来有意思的是，就像你自己说的，这确实不对。

Well, what's interesting is you just, like you said, it's not right.

但我觉得今天我们得弄明白的，其实不是对错，也不是‘嗯’。

But I think like what we'll have to uncover today is that it's not about right or wrong or Mhmm.

不该穿什么，或者以前穿什么。

What it should be or what it was.

而是你现在在哪，什么适合你，以及你希望感觉怎么样。

It's about where you are now and what serves you and how you want to feel.

对。

Right.