你现在需要听到的7件事

所以作为你的朋友，我要清楚地告诉你。

So hear me loud and clear as your friend.

如果你今天只能拿出30%、15%、70%——无论你有多少能量，只要你全部付出，再责备自己懒惰，那就是折磨。

If you're given 30%, 15%, 70%, whatever's in the tank, you give all that, then calling yourself lazy on top of it, that's like torture.

这不公平。

That's not fair.

这甚至不准确。

It's not even accurate.

你应该称自己为超级明星，因为你已经倾尽全力。

You should be calling yourself a superstar because you gave a 100%.

而且，当你对自己苛刻、批评自己、不断说‘我做得不够’时，停下来问问自己：

Plus, when you're hard on yourself, when you criticize yourself, when you constantly say I'm not doing enough, just stop and and ask yourself this.

责备自己能让我感觉更好吗？

Does criticizing myself help me feel better?

不能。

No.

它能帮助我集中注意力吗？

Does it help me focus?

不能。

No.

它能让我感到有灵感或动力去实现目标或完成待办事项吗？

Does it help me feel inspired or motivated to achieve my goals or get through my to do list?

不能。

No.

你认为激励自己的秘诀是在你已经竭尽全力、只是想熬过一天的时候，还不断责备自己吗？

Do you think that the secret formula to motivation is beating yourself up while you're already giving 100% of what you have to give as you're just trying to get through the day?

当然不是。

Of course not.

当然不是。

Of course not.

我问你这些问题，并不是为了显得自己多聪明。

And I'm not asking you these questions to try to be a smarty pants here.

我问你这些问题，是因为我厌倦了你不断责备自己。

I'm asking you these questions because I'm tired of you beating yourself up.

我希望你能多肯定自己，因为你已经尽了全力。

I want you to give yourself more credit because you are working as hard as you can.

你正在为一份根本不可能完成的任务倾尽所有。

You are throwing in everything that you've got at a impossible list of things to do.

你怎么敢这样对自己说话，好像你根本没在努力一样？

How dare you talk to yourself like you're not doing that?

我不会允许这样。

I will not allow it.

我不会允许你这样对待自己，因为真正的好朋友会这么做。

I will not allow you to do that to yourself because that's what a good friend does.

真正的好朋友会戳穿你的自欺欺人，而当你只是在努力生存、却还在责备自己时，这完全是胡说八道——顺便说一句，你生存得相当出色。

A good friend calls you out on your bullshit, and it is bullshit when you're beating yourself up at a moment in time where you're just trying to survive and you're doing a damn fine job of surviving, I might add.

你知道吗？多给自己一些肯定吧，因为你值得。

You know, give yourself a little bit more credit because you have earned it.

我想让你好好看看你的生活。

I want you to just look at your life.

假装你只是你自己的一个朋友，看看你现在正在应对的所有事情。

Pretend that you are just one of your friends, and you take a look at all the things you're dealing with right now.

你得付的账单、需要安排的事项、还得打电话并处理的医生预约、你需要为家人和父母做的事情、你操持的家务、一直要喂养的宠物、还有你维持着的众多朋友关系——你到底是什么人？是生活中的奥运冠军吗？

The bills you have to pay, the things you need to schedule, the doctor's appointments you still have to call and sort out, the things you need to do for your family, for your parents, the stuff around the house that you take care of, the pets that continue to get fed, the number of friends that you stay holy smokes, what are you, like an Olympic athlete in life?

这简直难以置信。

This is unbelievable.

别再攻击自己了。

Stop attacking yourself.

记住这一点，你并不懒惰。

And remember this, you're not lazy.

你现在只有有限的精力，而你正把所有精力都用在生存上，这说明你很聪明，因为你清楚要做的事情多到不可能完成，你也足够聪明，知道必须把精力集中在关键事情上，才能熬过这一天。

You only have a certain amount of energy right now, and you're using all of it to survive, which makes you smart because you know that there's an impossible amount of things to do, and you're smart enough to know you gotta throw your energy at it so you can get through the day.

当你熬过这一天时，我想让你为自己腾出一点空间。

And when you get through the day, here's what I want you to make space for.

不是批评，而是同情。

Not criticism, compassion.

为你最需要的东西腾出空间。

Make space for what you need most.

你需要休息，真正的休息。

You need rest, real rest.

这个提醒告诉你，当你精疲力尽、耗尽所有精力、为了度过一天倾尽全力时，你所能做的最负责任的事，就是停止责备自己，给你的身体它所迫切需要的恢复。

This reminder tells you that the most responsible thing you can do when you're exhausted, when you're depleted, when you're given 100% to get through the day, the most responsible thing that you could do is to stop judging yourself and give your body the recovery it's begging for.

所以，休息一下吧。

So take a break.

你是否愿意重复这个有力的提醒？

And how about you repeat this powerful reminder?

一位治疗师告诉我最好的话是：你并不懒惰。

The best thing a therapist ever told me is, You're not lazy.

你现在只有有限的精力，而你正用全部精力来维持生存。

You only have a certain amount of energy right now, and you're using all of it to survive.

我是。

I am.

我不懒。

I'm not lazy.

你说得对。

You're right.

我确实只有这么多能量。

I only do have a certain amount of energy.

而且我很棒，因为我把全部精力都用在了度过这一天，并尽我所能。

And pretty cool that I'm giving all of it to getting through the day and doing the best that I can.

当我多一些慈悲，当我用清晰的眼睛和真相看待自己时，我就能进入一种力量的状态。

And then once I have a little bit more compassion, once I see with clear eyes and truth, I can move to a place of strength.

我可以给予自己应得的东西，那不是批评。

I can move into giving myself what I deserve, which isn't criticism.

而是一张舒适柔软的沙发，我可以躺下来休息。

It's a nice comfy couch where I can lay down and rest.

哦，我喜欢这个提醒。

Oh, I love that reminder.

你准备好听第三个提醒了吗？

You're ready for reminder number three?

哦，我超爱这个。

Oh, I love this one.

事实上，这不仅仅是一个提醒。

In fact, this is not just a reminder.

对我来说，这是一种生活方式。

For me, this is a way of life.

这就是我对待生活的方式。

This is how I go through life.

这是一个容易被遗忘的提醒，所以我今天想和你分享。

And it's one of those reminders that is easy to forget, and that's why I wanted to share it with you today.

因为它有一种奇妙的力量：你给予什么，就会得到什么，当我向你分享这个深刻的提醒时，你马上就能理解，那就是：

Because it has this incredible what you give is also what you get power to it that you'll understand as soon as I share this powerful reminder with you, and here it is.

你知道现在谁正经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人。

Everyone.

请善良一些。

Be kind.

我觉得我刚刚听到了正在194个国家收听的你们每一个人的心声：真的太对了。

I feel like I just heard absolutely every single one of you who is listening right now in 194 countries go, it's so true.

天哪。

Oh my gosh.

你知道现在谁正经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人。

Everyone.

请善良一些。

Be kind.

我想让你注意，当我这么说的时候，你的身体发生了什么变化。

I want you to notice what just happened in your body when I said that.

也许你的肩膀放松了，脸部表情柔和了，下巴也松开了。

Maybe your shoulders dropped, maybe your face softened, your jaw unclenched.

之所以发生这种情况，是因为这个第三点提醒，我们常常忘记。

The reason why that happened is because this third reminder is something you and I forget too often.

你遇到的每一个人，都在背负着你无法看见的东西。

Every single person you run into is carrying something that you can't see.

在超市里排在你前面结账的那位女士，她心里正压着一些事。

The woman checking out in front of you at the grocery store, something's weighing on her.

有些事在困扰着她。

Something's on her mind.

她现在非常担心生活中某个人。

There's someone in her life that she is so worried about right now.

那个路怒症的司机，肯定有什么事在折磨着他。

The driver with road rage, something's definitely hurting them.

如果他们把情绪发泄在高速公路上的陌生人身上，那他们一定正在经历某种巨大的挣扎。

They're really struggling with something if they're taking it out on strangers on the highway.

那个安静、退缩的同事，肯定有什么事让他们夜不能寐。

The coworker who's quiet and withdrawn, absolutely there's something keeping them up at night.

甚至你家中那个冷漠、被动攻击或粗鲁的人，表面之下也藏着深深的痛苦。

Even the person in your family who's dismissive, passive aggressive, or just rude, underneath the surface, there is a lot of pain.

而你也在背负着某些东西。

And you're carrying something too.

也许你目前正面临经济上的困难。

Maybe you're struggling financially right now.

你担心自己的工作。

You're worried about your job.

你的一个成年孩子正因分手或焦虑而陷入困境。

One of your adult kids is spiraling from a breakup or anxiety.

也许你对金钱、健康、日渐年迈的父母，或是自己的未来感到恐惧。

Maybe you're scared about money or your health or your parents who are getting older or your future.

我的意思是，你也在经历很多。

I mean, you're going through a lot too.

我想让你知道一件事。

And I want you to know something.

我知道。

I know that.

我看见你了。

I see you.

这就是为什么我要提醒你。

And that's why I am giving you this reminder.

你知道现在谁正在经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人都是。

Everyone.

请善良一些。

Be kind.

这就是为什么我觉得，这种做法不仅有助于让你变得温和，而且当你对他人敞开心扉时，你也会得到一种非常强大的回报。

And here's why I feel like this has this sort of interesting effect of not only helping you soften, but it gives you something in return that's very powerful when you soften towards everyone else.

你不再觉得自己的问题如此孤单。

You stop feeling so alone in your problems.

你也不再觉得别人对待你的方式是针对你个人的。

You also stop feeling like the ways in which people treat you is somehow personal.

你不再觉得宇宙此刻专门针对你，而是意识到人们——尤其是那些难相处的人、粗鲁的人、冷漠的人，甚至那些脸上带着微笑的人——此刻都在经历着一些事情。

You stop feeling like the universe is singularly picking on you right now, and you recognize that people, especially the challenging people, especially the rude people, the people who are withdrawn, and yes, even the people that have a smile on their face, They're going through something right now.

每个人都精疲力尽。

Everyone's exhausted.

每个人都不堪重负。

Everyone's overwhelmed.

每个人都在背负着沉重的心事，尽力而为。

Everyone's doing their best with something heavy on their heart.

每个人都有问题，因为每个人都是凡人。

Everyone's got problems because everyone is human.

这才是真正有力的部分。

And here's the really powerful part.

当你在自己的挣扎中依然能保持善良时，你向自己证明了一件非凡的事。

When you can still be kind in the middle of your own struggles, you prove something extraordinary to yourself.

你证明了，是的，生活现在很艰难，但它没有夺走我的心，没有夺走我的价值观，也没有夺走我自己。

You prove that, yeah, life is hard right now, but it has not taken my heart, it has not taken my values, and it has not taken me.

我依然可以保持善良。

I can still be kind.

我依然可以拥有同情心。

I can still have compassion.

你可能觉得自己已经什么都没剩下了，但当你为提着杂货的人扶住门，或夸赞收银员的指甲，或对某人说‘我喜欢你的袜子’时，你正在向自己传递一个信号。

And you might feel like you got nothing left for yourself, but the moment you hold the door for someone with a bag of groceries, or you compliment the cashier's nails, or you tell somebody, hey, I love your socks, you're sending yourself a signal.

你正在觉醒并告诉自己：尽管有这么多问题和压在我身上的重担，我依然是我。

You're waking up and saying, despite all the problems and the things that are weighing me down, I'm still me.

我依然在乎。

I still care.

我仍然有东西可以给予。

I still have something to give.

我仍然是一个能够产生影响、传递正能量的人。

I am still a person that can make a difference and send positive waves.

你想知道这和第一个提醒是怎么关联的吗？

And you wanna know how this works with reminder number one.

记得那个提醒吗？你可以善良、心地良好，同时依然对别人说不，甚至说滚蛋，因为那是界限。

Remember that was the one that you can be kind and you can have a good heart and you can still tell people no and f off sometimes because it's boundaries.

我发现，我越是坚持同情心，越是提醒自己，现在很多人都在经历艰难，我不必害怕他们，不必替他们管理情绪，不必担心让他们失望，我可以带着同情心出现，保持善良，同时依然可以说不，因为你完全可以拥有界限，同时保有同情心。

What I have found is the more I double down on compassion, the more I remind myself other people going through a lot right now, I don't need to be scared of them, I don't need to manage their emotions, I don't need to worry about disappointing them, I can show up with compassion and be kind, and I can still say no because you can have boundaries and still have compassion.

而我越是扎根于此，设定界限就越容易，因为正是在理解到每个人现在都在经历艰难的基础上，我才为他人的情绪反应创造了空间。

And the more I anchor myself there, the easier it is to draw boundaries because it's in the understanding that everybody's going through a lot right now that I create the space for somebody to have an emotional reaction.

我为别人在我拒绝时感到失望或沮丧创造了空间，而这没关系。

I create the space for somebody to be disappointed or upset when I say no, and that's okay.

你想知道为什么吗？

You wanna know why?

第三个提醒。

Reminder number three.

你知道现在谁正经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人。

Everyone.

要善良。

Be kind.

但我没说要对所有事都答应。

Now, I didn't say say yes to everything.

我只是说要善良。

I just said be kind.

对他人善良，也要对自己善良。

Be kind to them and be kind to yourself.

当有人不高兴，或情绪不成熟，或当你拒绝或没完全按他们的期望行事时，他们会做出某种反应，你知道现在谁正经历艰难时刻吗？

And when somebody is upset, or somebody's emotionally immature, or somebody reacts a certain way when you say no, or you don't do exactly what they expected you to do, you know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人。

Everyone.

要善良。

Be kind.

所以你可以这么说：我很抱歉你有这种感受，但我确实没有能力做到。

So you could say, I'm sorry that you feel that way, and I still don't have the capacity to do it.

这真的很神奇，因为同时发生了两件事。

It's really magical because there are two things happening at once.

首先，它让你意识到每个人都有他们背负的重担；其次，它把你拉回自己的力量与人性，而不是陷入苦涩、怨恨或过度付出。

First, it makes you see that everyone has this burden that they're carrying, and second, it pulls you back into your own strength and humanity instead of you dropping into bitterness and resentment and overextending yourself.

因为在所有的喧嚣、忙碌和误解之下，我们都不过是普通人。

Because underneath all the noise and the busyness and the misunderstandings, we're all just people.

我们每个人生命中都有在乎的人正在挣扎。

We all have people in our life that we care about who are struggling.

我们每个人心中都有压得我们喘不过气的事情。

We all have things that are weighing us down in our mind.

我们每个人都在这个世界上面临着真正困扰我们的问题。

We all have issues going on in the world that really trouble us.

你、我以及你将遇到的每一个人，都在尽力而为。

You and I and everyone else that you're gonna bump into, they're just trying.

你、我以及每一个人，生活中都有让我们痛苦或受伤的方面。

You and I and everyone else has areas of our life where we're in pain or we're hurting.

你、我以及每一个人，都在经历某种疗愈的旅程。

You and I and everyone else are on some journey of healing.

我们心怀希望。

We're hoping.

我们都有梦想，但你知道，我们永远找不到时间去追求它们。

We have dreams that, you know, we can never find the time to pursue.

而善良，善良是将我们凝聚在一起的粘合剂。

And kindness, kindness is the glue that can hold us together.

这就是提醒。

And this is the reminder.

你知道现在谁正在经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人。

Everyone.

请善良。

Be kind.

它提醒你和我，我们就是那粘合剂。

It reminds you and me that we're the glue.

我喜欢这个提醒。

I love this reminder.

好了，这仅仅是今天我们要讲解的七个有力提醒中的前三个。

Alrighty, That's just the first three of these seven powerful reminders that you and I are gonna cover today.

在我们进入接下来的四个之前，我想暂停一下。

I wanna hit pause right now before we jump into the next four.

你会喜欢接下来的四个，所以别走开，因为我想要提醒你。

You're gonna love the next four, so don't go anywhere because I wanna remind you.

我想提醒你，把这一集分享给你在乎的人。

I wanna remind you to share this episode with people that you care about.

今天我们讨论的所有内容，都将帮助你所爱的人创造更好的生活。

Everything we're talking about today is gonna support the people that you love in creating a better life.

这些节目是你能送给别人的礼物。

These episodes are a gift that you can give to somebody else.

所以，谢谢你，谢谢你，谢谢你把链接发给或发邮件给那些你关心的人，也请不要离开。

So thank you, thank you, thank you for texting it or emailing the link to this to people that you care about, and please don't go anywhere.

我们马上回来，带来第四个有力的提醒。

We are coming back with the fourth powerful reminder.

你绝对不想错过这个。

You do not wanna miss this.

短暂休息后，我会在这里等你，所以请继续陪着我。

I will be waiting for you after this short break, so stay with me.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

这是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your friend Mel Robbins.

我非常高兴你能和我在一起。

I am so excited that you're here with me.

今天我们已经讲了三个你需要听的重要提醒，现在我们进入第四个。

We have covered three of the powerful reminders that you need to hear today, and now we're jumping in to the fourth.

第四个重要提醒，完全关乎你的思维方式。

And the fourth powerful reminder, it's all about your mindset.

前三点我们谈的是你的感受，但现在我们要进入一个提醒，它能帮助你改变看待生活中发生事情的方式。

The first three, we're talking about your feelings, but now we're gonna jump into a reminder that helps you change the way you look at what's going on in your life.

第四个提醒是：我还没有成为我想成为的全部，但我已经成为两年前想成为的很多样子了，意识到这一点真是太棒了。

And that fourth reminder is, I'm not everything I wanna be, but I'm a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

哦，你不觉得这很棒吗？

Oh, don't you love that?

我简直太喜欢这句话了。

I freaking love that.

这个提醒会直击你的大脑。

This reminder breaks into your brain.

就像是，嘿。

It's like, hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

嘿。

Hey.

你一直做得很好，只是在努力生存、度过每一天，但我希望你再好好看看自己，因为你比你想象的要好得多，你已经走了很长一段路，宝贝。

You've been doing such a great job just surviving and getting through the day, but I want you to take another look at yourself because you're doing way better than you think, and you've come a long way, baby.

你经历了许多了不起的事情。

You have experienced so many incredible things.

你学到了很多。

You have learned so much.

你已经改变了这个强大的提醒：我还没有成为我想成为的一切，但我已经成为两年前想成为的很多样子。

You have changed this powerful reminder, I'm not everything I wanna be yet, but I am a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago.

意识到这一点是多么美好的一件事啊。

And what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

它提醒你去理解我想要你明白的信念。

It reminds you of the belief I want you to understand.

你一直都在取得进展。

You've been making progress this whole time.

你已经超越了某些人。

You've outgrown people.

这就是进步。

That's progress.

你已经超越了某些习惯。

You've outgrown habits.

这就是进步。

That's progress.

你已经超越了过去的自己。

You've outgrown versions of yourself.

这就是进步。

That's progress.

你学到了很多东西。

You've learned things.

进步？

Progress?

你挺过了各种困难。

Survive things.

进步？

Progress?

你建设了某些东西。

Build things.

你创造了某些东西。

Created things.

进步。

Progress.

你有证据。

You have the receipts.

你能证明这一点。

You can prove it.

但你总是忘记去看自己的进步，因为你希望一切都完美无缺。

But you keep forgetting to look at the progress because you want things to feel perfect.

你一直在追逐那个‘叮’的时刻，就是那种让人站起来鼓掌的瞬间。

You're chasing that ta da moment, you know, that inspires everyone to stand up and clap.

这个提醒告诉你：不，你找错地方了。

This reminder saying, mm-mm, you're looking in the wrong place.

这个提醒告诉你：也许你还没达到最终形态，但你也绝不是两年前那个完全不知所措的人了。

This reminder saying, hey, you might not be at your final form yet, but you're also not the person who had no clue what they were doing two years ago.

这是一场胜利。

That's a win.

请数一数。

Please count it.

我喜欢这一点，因为它将你的信念从‘我还不够好’转变为事实。

And what I like about it is it shifts your belief from I'm not enough yet to the truth.

你在进步，这很重要。

You're improving, and that matters.

我想让你回想两年前，想想那时我的生活发生了什么？

I want you to think back two years and just think, what was going on in my life?

如果你记不起来了，就翻出你的照片或社交媒体，回到过去，你会立刻被拉回那个时光机，然后惊呼：‘哦，天哪。’

And if you can't remember, pull out your photos or social media and go back in time, and you will immediately be jolted into that time machine and be like, oh, woah.

当我回想两年前，我们刚刚在波士顿租下了工作室。

When I think about two years ago, we had just gotten our studio space in Boston.

这个播客已经做了三年多，头一年左右。

For the first year of this podcast, we've been doing the Mel Robbins podcast for just over three years.

在最初的将近一年到十八个月里，我们是在我家和路上做的。

The first almost year to eighteen months, we did this out of my house and on the road.

我们在哪儿，就在哪儿录音。

Wherever we were was where we were recording.

大约两年前，我嫂子提出了这个想法。

And about two years ago, my sister-in-law, she is the one that planted the seed.

她说：我们必须有个办公室。

She said, We have to have office space.

我们的团队在不断壮大。

We have a growing team.

团队都在波士顿。

The team is in Boston.

我知道你住在佛蒙特，但我们需要一个让大家工作的场所。

I realize you live in Vermont, but we need a place for people to work.

所以两年前，我们刚刚开启了第一个办公室。

And so two years ago, we were just opening up our first ever office space.

现在想想，我们有55名员工，世界各地的专家都来到波士顿。

When I think now, 55 employees, we have world renowned experts coming into Boston.

过去两年里，发生了太多变化。

So much has changed in the last two years.

我不认为这归功于我，因为我现在身处现实之中。

I don't give myself any credit for that because I'm now in the reality now.

我再给你举个例子。

I'll give you another example.

两年前，我脑海中产生了一个想法，想创办一家公司。

Two years ago, I had this kind of moment in my head that I wanted to start a company.

我想开发一款产品。

I wanted to develop a product.

我不断告诉我的嫂子兼商业伙伴克里斯汀：我真的很想接受挑战，推出一款产品。

I kept telling my sister-in-law, who's also my business partner, Christine, I said to her, I'd really love to take on the challenge of launching a product.

我希望能做些对人们健康产生积极影响的事情。

I'd love to do something that has a positive impact on people's health.

我希望能创造一种简单、有科学依据、极具创新性、前所未有且真正解决问题的产品。

I'd love to create something simple that's backed by science, that's super innovative, that's never been out there before, that really solves a problem.

现在有趣的地方来了。

Now here's the thing that's interesting.

我当时并不知道那是什么。

I didn't know what it was.

完全不知道。

No idea.

我只知道自己想做点什么，我开始大声说出来，这感觉很荒谬，因为我的日程已经排得满满当当了。

I just knew I wanted to do something, and I started saying it out loud, and it felt ridiculous because my schedule was already insane.

我当时已经分身乏术了。

I I was already stretched too thin.

我完全不知道该如何推出某种消费品。

I had no idea how to launch some kind of, you know, consumer product.

我根本不知道要做什么，但这个想法在两年前一直不断敲打我的肩膀，提醒着我。

I had no idea what I was going to do, but this idea just kept on tapping me on the shoulder two years ago going, hey.

嘿。

Hey.

还记得我吗？

Remember me?

突然间，一件又一件小事开始出现。

And all of a sudden, it's like one little thing after another started to appear.

两年后的今天，几乎正好是那一天。

And here I am two years later, almost to the date.

这真的太诡异了。

This is really eerie.

两年前在播客里，就在我们谈论目标的那期节目中，我鼓起勇气说了出来。

Almost to the date, two years ago on the podcast, I told you during an episode where we were talking about goals, and I just had the courage to say it.

我还没做到，但我还是想说，我想推出某种产品。

I'm not there yet, but I'm gonna say, I think I wanna launch some kind of product.

在过去两年里，我一直专注于这件事。

Over the last two years, I have just leaned into this.

我学习了，我探索了，我研究了各种各样的东西。

I have learned, I have explored, I have looked at all kinds of things.

我成为了我想成为的那种人，并且现在我是一家全新蛋白质公司联合创始人，我们创造了世界上最酷的东西。

I've become a student of what I wanted to become, and I am now the co founder of a brand new company in the protein space, and we have created the coolest thing in the world.

我迫不及待想让你看到它。

I cannot wait for you to see it.

它叫Pure Genius。

It's called Pure Genius.

你可以访问puregeniusprotein.com，这是我想教给你的东西的实物证明。

You can go to puregeniusprotein.com, and this is physical evidence of something I'm trying to teach you.

你还没有成为你想成为的全部，但你已经成为了两年前想成为的很多样子，意识到这一点真是太棒了。

You're not everything you wanna be yet, but you're a lot of things you wanted to be two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

你没有给自己足够的肯定，没有看到你在两年里走了多远。

You're not giving yourself enough credit for how far you've come in two years.

你没有。

You're not.

你已经成为了两年前完全不是的样子。

You're a lot of things you weren't two years ago.

而这就是为什么这个提醒也同样重要。

And here's why this reminder is also important.

所以，是的，两年后的我现在是Pure Genius的联合创始人。

So, yes, I'm now two years later the cofounder of Pure Genius.

我对它感到无比兴奋。

I'm so excited about it.

我为它感到无比自豪，但我还没有达到理想的状态，因为我们还没有完善供应链。

I'm so proud of it, and I'm not where I wanna be because we don't have the supply chain nailed down yet.

我们一直处于不断发布产品、一上架就售罄的状态。

We are in a constant state of release product, boom, it's all sold out.

然后每个人都感到沮丧，因为他们得排队等候。

Then everybody's upset because then they're on a wait list.

我们为什么会陷入这种状况？

Why are we in this situation?

因为我们正在摸索解决之道。

Because we're figuring it out.

现在我意识到，当你推出一件人们真正喜欢的新事物时，就会发生这种情况。

Now I'm realizing this is what happens when you launch something new that people really like.

你需要给它时间去学习和解决各种问题。

You've gotta give it time to learn and iron out the kinks.

在生活中，很容易超出自己的能力范围，问自己：为什么我还没减掉所有体重？

It's easy in life to get out over the tips of your skis and go, why I haven't lost all the weight yet?

我还没遇到那个人。

I haven't met the person yet.

我还没找到理想的工作，就开始因为现状而否定自己。

I haven't landed my dream job yet, and start invalidating yourself for where you are.

然后你就忽略了这个惊人的真相：你其实一直在取得进展。

And then you lose sight of this amazing truth that you've been making progress all along.

生活的秘诀在于，你必须持续不断地前进，因为我认为生活残酷的玩笑是：你永远到达不了终点。

The secret about life, you're gonna have to continue to make progress all along because I think the cruel joke about life is you never get there, by the way.

你总是在努力到达那里，但你还没到达。

You're always trying to get there, but you're not there yet.

这个提醒，这个提醒：我还没有成为我想成为的全部，但我已经是两年前想成为的很多样子了，意识到这一点真是太棒了，这太聪明了。

And this reminder, this reminder, I'm not everything I wanna be yet, but I'm a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realize that, that's genius.

这太聪明了，因为它能帮你更加专注于进步——无论是你已经取得的进步，还是为了持续成长、学习并让你的生活和你正在做的事情变得更好而必须继续取得的进步。

It's genius because it helps you double down on progress, both the progress that you've made and the progress that you're going to have to continue to make in order to keep growing and learning and making your life and the things that you're working on better.

我和你没什么不同，这个提醒帮助我不要操之过急，不要否定自己已经走过的路，这就是你需要这个提醒的原因。

I'm no different than you, and this reminder is helping me to not get too far ahead, to not invalidate how far I've come, and that's why you need this reminder.

让我们一起大声说出来。

Let's say this out loud together.

我还没有成为我想成为的全部，但我已经是两年前想成为的很多样子了，然后让这部分真正沉淀下来。

I'm not everything I wanna be yet, but I'm a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago, and then let this part land.

意识到这一点，是多么美好的一件事啊。

And what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

你已经减掉了体重。

You have lost weight.

你正在勇敢地展现自己。

You are putting yourself out there.

你一直在写作。

You have been writing.

在过去几年里，你确实进行过冥想。

You did meditate over the last couple years.

你已经稍微涉足了人工智能。

You have leaned into AI a little bit.

你一直在更新你的简历。

You've been updating your resume.

你正在做很多事情。

You are doing a lot of things.

你现在已经处在一个与两年前不同的位置了，意识到这一点真是太好了。

You are in a different place than you were two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

好了，我们准备进入第五条。

All right, we're ready for number five.

这一条是我最喜爱的之一。

This one's one of my all time favorites.

这是你能拥有的最健康的习惯之一。

It's about one of the healthiest habits you can have.

你会喜欢这个提醒，我将在短暂的广告后告诉你。

You're gonna love this reminder, and I'm gonna tell you after this short break.

但在你聆听我们精彩的赞助商内容时，我也要提醒你，请将本集分享给你关心的人。

But I'm also gonna remind you, while you're listening to our amazing sponsors, please share this episode with people that you care about.

如果你生活中有人感到压力过大，对自己失去信心，而你只是希望看到他们成功——我知道你希望看到身边的人成功，那就发短信或发邮件给他们。

If somebody in your life is feeling overwhelmed, if they're down on themselves, if you just wanna see them winning, and I know you want to see the people in your life winning, text it to them, email it to them.

我会把这分享给我的三个成年孩子。

I am sending this to my three adult kids.

我会把这发给我在佛蒙特州的散步小组，所有我的女性朋友。

This is going to my walking group of all my girlfriends in Vermont.

我们都需要这个。

We all need this.

我们不仅需要它来帮助自己，当你与他人分享时，不仅能让他们感觉更好、做得更好，你还送给了他们一份礼物，他们可以将这份礼物传递给生活中需要这些提醒的其他人。

We need this not only for ourselves, but when you share this with somebody else, it not only helps them feel better and do better, you just gave them a gift they can give to people in their life who need these reminders too.

我只是觉得这太棒了，我们正在共同向世界传播积极向善的力量。

I just think that's so cool, the positive force for good that we're spreading around the world together.

谢谢你来到这里。

So thank you for being here.

别走开。

Do not go anywhere.

等一下，听听关于你需要培养的最强大习惯的第五个提醒。

Wait till you hear this fifth reminder about the most powerful habit you need to create.

下一个提醒马上就来，别走开。

That reminder is coming next, so stay with me.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your friend Mel Robbins.

今天，我和你聊聊七个有力的提醒。

Today, you and I are talking about seven powerful reminders.

这些就像情感跳线，啪啪一下就能让你重新找回力量。

These are emotional jumper cables, zit, zap you right back into your power.

你需要这个，我需要这个，我们都需要这个，谢谢你们分享这些。

You need this, I need this, we all need this, so thank you for sharing this.

让我们直接进入第五个提醒。

Let's just jump right into reminder number five.

我超爱这个。

I love this one.

最健康的习惯之一，就是别把别人的话当真。

One of the healthiest habits to learn, take nothing personally.

我第一次了解到这个是在全球畅销书《四个协议》中，作者是唐·米格尔·鲁伊斯。

I first learned about this in the blockbuster international book, The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

这本书最初于1997年出版。

It was first published in 1997.

《四个协议》全球销量已超过一千五百万册。

The Four Agreements has sold over 15,000,000 copies worldwide.

这本书已经连续十多年登上《纽约时报》畅销书排行榜。

It has been on the New York Times bestseller list for over a decade.

它已被翻译成52种语言。

It's been published in 52 languages.

这个提醒与他在书中提到的第二个约定非常接近，即不要把任何事都当真，你需要与自己达成这一约定，以便更贴近自我，更重要的是，停止过度关注他人的一举一动、想法、期望和意见。

And this reminder is very close to the second agreement that he writes about in this book, which is don't take anything personally, and that's an agreement you need to make with yourself so you can feel more connected to yourself, and more importantly, stop obsessing over what everyone else is doing, thinking, what their expectations are, their opinions.

够了。

Enough.

这个提醒送给所有非常非常敏感的人。

This reminder is for all of you who are very, very sensitive.

明白吗？

Okay?

这是你能养成的最健康的习惯之一。

This is one of the most healthy habits you can develop.

不要把任何事都当真。

Take nothing personally.

因为如果你敏感，第一点，我爱你们。

Because if you're sensitive, number one, I love you.

你的敏感是一种天赋。

Your sensitivity is a gift.

但第二点，你得听好了，因为这份天赋也会反弹回来，击中你的额头，明白吗？

But number two, you gotta listen up because that gift also ricochets back and hits you in the forehead, okay?

因为如果你容易受伤，是因为你过度解读了短信的语气，或纠结于别人回复有多慢，是否出现、没出现、取消、拒绝，或他们的情绪状态、面部表情，这个提醒会在你感到全世界都在与你为敌时，带给你极大的平静。

Because if you're someone who gets hurt easily because you're reading into the tone of a text or you read into how long it takes somebody to respond or whether or not they showed up or didn't show up or canceled or said no or what is their emotional state or what is their face looking like, This is a reminder that is gonna bring you a lot of peace, especially in those moments where you start to think the world is against you.

我希望你记住这第五个提醒。

I want you to remember this fifth reminder.

最健康的习惯之一：别把任何事都当真。

One of the healthiest habits to learn, take nothing personally.

那就是我。

That was me.

那就是我。

That was me.

情绪非常丰富，感受深刻，总是揣测每个人的情绪。

Super emotional, deep feelings, reading into the moods of everybody.

如果你曾经听过我讲的‘随他们去’理论，这个理论就是教你养成‘不把一切当真’的习惯。

And if you've ever heard me talk about the let them theory, the let them theory is how you learn the habit, take nothing personally.

因为当你说到‘随他们去’时，你是在强迫自己尊重他人的情绪、想法和观点；当你说到‘随他们去’时，你是在提醒自己：好吧，随他们去。

Because when you say let them, you are forcing yourself to give people the dignity of their own emotions, their own thoughts, their own opinions, and when you say let them, you're cuing yourself saying, okay, let them.

让他们去想、去感受、去做他们想做的任何事。

Let them think, feel, and do whatever they want.

现在，让我提醒自己：我可以选择是否把这件事当真。

Now let me remind myself I get to choose whether or not I take this personally.

当你说到‘随他们去想他们想的’，‘随他们不邀请你’时。

When you say let them think what they want, let them not invite you.

随他们做他们自己。

Let them be who they are.

随他们做他们不是的人。

Let them be who they're not.

让他们情绪不好。

Let them be in a bad mood.

让他们误解你。

Let them misunderstand you.

让他们试图让你感到内疚。

Let them try to give you a guilt trip.

让他们，让他们，让他们，让他们。

Let them, let them, let them, let them.

因为你的力量不在于成为读心者或成人的父母，而在于这个习惯。

Because your power is not in becoming a mind reader or a parent to other adults, your power is in this habit.

不要把任何事都当真。

Take nothing personally.

当有人不同意你时，不要让自己开始质疑你的能力。

When someone disagrees with you, do not allow yourself to start questioning your capabilities.

让他们不同意你，让我提醒自己，他们不同意我并不意味着任何关于我的事。

Let them disagree with you, and let me remind myself their disagreeing with me doesn't mean anything about me.

你知道吗，我在处理极度敏感和过度反应这个问题时，一直困扰的是，你把一切都归结于自己。

You know, one of the things that I struggled with when it comes to being very, I'll just call myself hypersensitive and overreacting, is that you make it all about you.

你总觉得别人所做的每一件事都与你有关。

You think what everybody else is doing is somehow a reflection on you.

其实并不是这样。

It is not.

‘随他们去’理论教会了我这一点。

Here's what the Let Them Theory taught me.

它教会了我真相。

It taught me the truth.

人们会把自己的压力投射出来。

People project their own stress.

他们会把自己的不堪重负投射出来。

They project their overwhelm.

他们会把自己的不安全感投射出来。

They project their insecurities.

他们投射自己的期望。

They project their expectations.

他们试图控制你、改变你，以便让自己感觉良好，觉得自己是对的，而大多数人的行为根本与你无关。

They try to control you and change you so that they can feel how they wanna feel and so that they can be right, and most of what people are doing has nothing to do with you at all.

学会不把任何事都当成针对自己，将改变你的人生。

And learning how to take nothing personally will change your life.

别人的坏情绪并不是对你存在的评判。

Someone else's bad mood is not a report card on your existence.

他们的沉默并不意味着对你接下来一整天行为的刑事判决。

Their silence does not have to be some sort of criminal sentence to what you're supposed to do for the rest of the day.

他们的行为并不是对你价值的投票。

Their behavior is not a vote on your value.

当你真正接受这个提醒时，你会感到轻松许多。

And you're gonna feel so much freer when you let this reminder land.

最健康的习惯之一，就是不要把任何事都当成针对自己。

One of the healthiest habits to learn, take nothing personally.

停止向那些压力重重、心不在焉、不堪重负、情绪不成熟且不断向你投射的人寻求认可。

Stop auditioning for approval from people who are stressed out, distracted, overwhelmed, emotionally immature, and constantly projecting on you.

别让别人的神经系统主宰你的一天。

Stop letting somebody else's nervous system run your day.

让他们的情绪属于他们自己。

Let their mood be theirs.

你的生活属于你。

Your life is yours.

不把任何事都当真，你就能重新掌握自己的力量。

Take nothing personally, and you get your power back.

现在，我们进入第六个有力提醒，我要提醒你，这个会让你直面内心。

Now, let's move on to powerful reminder number six, and I'm going warn you, this one's a gut check.

你准备好了吗？

Are you ready?

来了。

Here it is.

成为最好的自己，意味着要告别很多东西。

Becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes.

嗯。

Mhmm.

成为最好的自己，意味着要告别很多东西。

Becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes.

因为如果你想要不同的生活，想要让生活感觉不一样，你就不能再像拖着一辆轮子卡住的破行李箱一样，拖着过去的生活不放。

Because if you want a different life, if you want life to feel different, you cannot keep dragging the old life around like some sort of busted suitcase with a wheel that's stuck.

这个提醒会给你勇气，放下那些拖累你的生活部分，无论是你的思维模式、习惯，还是你交往的人。

This reminder will give you the courage to drop the parts of your life that are weighing you down, whether that's your mindset, your habits, the people you hang out with.

创造更好的生活，意味着一次又一次地告别许多事物。

Creating a better life means saying goodbye to a lot of things, one goodbye at a time.

你必须告别那些塑造你不良习惯的东西。

You gotta say goodbye to the habits that train you.

告别那些对你不够好的人。

Goodbye to the people who don't treat you that well.

再见那些你已超越的情境，再见让你感到被轻视的工作。

Goodbye to the situations you've outgrown and the job that you feel disrespected in.

再见那些让你变得狭隘的自己。

Goodbye to the versions of yourself that kept you small.

我想在这里说得特别清楚，因为我认为大多数人听到这个时，其实都理解错了。

And I wanna be really clear about something here because I think most people when they hear this, they actually get it wrong.

因为当你听到‘成为最好的自己意味着要告别很多东西’时，大多数人会以为这意味着：好吧，我得切断与某些人的联系。

Because when you hear becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes, most people hear this quote and assume it means, okay, I guess I have to cut people off.

不。

No.

不，你不必那样做。

No, you don't.

这不仅仅关乎你要告别谁。

This isn't just about who you're saying goodbye to.

这关乎你还在继续做什么。

It's about what you keep doing.

你知道，你正在告别逆来顺受，因为你必须迎接界限。

You know, you're saying goodbye to being a doormat because you gotta say hello to boundaries.

你知道，你可以善良，同时说不。

You know you can be kind and still say no.

你必须告别自我批评，才能迎接自信。

You gotta say goodbye to the self criticism in order to say hello to self confidence.

如果你想迎来进步，并在生活中感受到动力，就必须告别对完美的执着追求和完美主义。

You gotta say goodbye to the relentless pursuit of trying to get it perfect and perfectionism if you wanna say hello to making progress and feeling a sense of momentum in your life.

让我直接告诉你，因为你需要一个朋友对你说这些。

And so let me just say this to you because you need a friend to say it to you.

你并没有做错什么。

You're not doing anything wrong.

你并没有落后。

You're not behind.

你并没有破碎。

You're not broken.

你正在蜕变。

You're evolving.

你正在成长。

You're growing.

你正在学习。

You're learning.

你正在取得进步，每一次蜕变都需要舍弃那些不再适用的东西。

You're making forward progress, and every evolution comes with needing to shed things that no longer work.

每次你告别拖累你的事物时，你都在为能提升你的新事物腾出空间。

Every time you say goodbye to what's dragging you down, you are creating space for what's gonna lift you up.

你正在为新的事物腾出空间。

You're creating space for the new.

这就是为什么你必须丢掉旧的东西。

That's why you gotta get rid of the old.

这个提醒就是为此而存在的。

That's what this reminder is.

这是一个提醒，也是一种许可，让你释放那些不再适合你的东西，从而为适合你的事物腾出空间。

It's a reminder and permission to release what no longer fits so you can create space for what does.

当你这样看待它时，这就是成长。

When you frame it this way, it's growth.

这并不意味着你冷酷无情。

It's not like you being heartless.

突然间，告别不再像是一种失去。

Suddenly the goodbye doesn't feel like a loss.

它感觉像是你必须做的事情。

It feels like something you need to do.

它感觉像是一种解脱。

It feels like relief.

它感觉像是一种清晰。

It feels like clarity.

这显而易见。

It's obvious.

我的意思是，如果你想为新事物腾出空间，就得扔掉一些旧东西。

I mean, if you want to create room for something new, gotta get rid of some old stuff.

这就像清理衣柜，只不过你清理的是习惯。

It's like clearing out the closet, only you're doing it with habits.

你清理的是自己的心态。

You're doing it with your mindset.

你清理的是自己的时间。

You're doing it with your time.

你知道，你根本不需要想，哦，我得甩掉我的朋友。

You know, you don't even have to think about like, oh, I gotta get rid of my friends.

你只需要少花点时间和他们在一起，这样就能腾出更多时间去结识那些和你现在志同道合的人。

You could just spend a little less time with them, and that creates more time to go and find people that are up to some of the things that you're up to now.

这就是为什么这个有力的提醒有效。

That's why this powerful reminder works.

它帮助你的大脑专注于你真正需要做的事情，而不是执着于那些伤害你却还称之为忠诚的熟悉事物。

It's helping your brain focus on the things that you need to do instead of clinging to the familiar things that hurt you and calling it loyalty.

这个提醒很简单。

The reminder is simple.

成为最好的自己伴随着许多告别，而你需要做的大多数告别，都是在照镜子时做出的，这是一个很好的提醒，能帮助你向前迈进，为新事物腾出空间。

Becoming the best version of yourself comes with a lot of goodbyes, and most of the goodbyes that you need to make are the ones that you make when you're looking in the mirror, and that is a great reminder that will help you move forward and create space for what's new.

接下来这个，第七条，是一句优美的句子，能让你的注意力真正聚焦在重要的事情上，以下是这句话。

And this next one, number seven, is a beautiful sentence that will really focus your attention on what matters, and here it is.

请记住，有一块你无法看见的时钟正在滴答作响。

Keep in mind, there's a clock ticking that you can't see.

所以，爱你所爱的人，享受你的生活。

So love whoever loves you and enjoy your life.

这句话每次都能深深触动我。

That one hits me every single time.

因为如果你和我一样，我认为大多数人也是如此，你会花很多时间思考未来。

Because if you're anything like me, and I think most people, you spend a lot of time thinking about later.

哦，我待会儿再给我妈打电话。

Oh, I'll call my mom later.

这个周末我会道歉。

I'll apologize this weekend.

明年我会去旅行。

I'll take that trip next year.

新年我会开始锻炼。

I'll start working out in the new year.

等我有空的时候我会写那本书。

I'll write that book when I have some time.

等感觉对了，我会说‘我爱你’。

I'll say I love you when it feels right.

明天我会做那件让我的生活变得更好的事。

I'll do the thing that would make my life better tomorrow.

但‘以后’并不是日历上的真实一天。

But later is not a real day on the calendar.

这个有力的提醒会直接把你拉回现实。

This powerful reminder snaps you, boom, right into the truth.

时间正在流逝，无论你是否利用它。

Time is passing, whether you use the time or not.

与其让这令人害怕，不如记住，有一块你无法看见的时钟在滴答作响。

And instead of making that scary, this reminder, keep in mind, there's a clock ticking that you can't see.

所以，去爱那些爱你的人，享受你的生活吧。

So love whoever loves you and enjoy your life.

它让你的生活以一种美好的方式显得更加紧迫。

It makes your life feel more urgent in a beautiful way.

它提醒你要更紧地拥抱你所爱的人，停止浪费时间为那些在大局中根本无足轻重的事情烦恼。

It reminds you to hold the people you love closer, to stop wasting time being annoyed about the things that, honestly, they don't matter in a large scheme of things.

趁还有时间，说出你一直想说的话；活在当下正在发生的生活，而不是幻想未来——等你退休了、孩子再大一点、或者这件事发生了、那件事实现了之后的生活。

To say the things you've been meaning to say while you still have the time to say them, to live the life that's happening right in front of you, not the future one that you imagine coming around when you're retired or when the kids are a little older or when this happens or when that happens.

它就像友善地轻拍你的肩膀，提醒你：别错过了你自己的人生。

It's like a friendly tap on the shoulder saying, hey, don't miss your own life.

这种提醒之所以能激励行动，背后有着令人惊叹的心理学原理。

And there's this incredible psychology behind why this reminder motivates action.

你看，我们人类有一种行为叫时间折扣。

See, we have this thing that we do as human beings called temporal discounting.

这意味着我们自然地认为自己以后会有更多的时间、更多的精力和更强的动力，因此我们推迟了真正重要的事情。

It means we just naturally assume we're gonna have more time, more energy, and more motivation later, and so we delay the things that really matter.

我从一位医生那里学到了这一点。

I learned that from Doctor.

卡尔·皮勒默。

Carl Pillemer.

他是康奈尔大学的教授，也是康奈尔遗赠项目的创建者和主任，该项目收集了有史以来最庞大的美国老年人生活智慧档案。

He is a professor at Cornell University and the creator and director of the Cornell Legacy Project, the largest archive of life wisdom ever collected from older Americans.

他还是位享誉全国的心理学家，发表了150多篇科学论文，被引用超过26,000次，并著有将真实研究与智慧转化为实用生活建议的畅销书。

He's also a nationally recognized psychologist with over 150 scientific publications, more than 26,000 citations, and is a best selling author of books that translate this real research and wisdom into practical life advice.

我之所以喜欢皮勒默教授的研究，原因之一是他采访了成千上万位八九十岁乃至百岁老人，了解他们人生中最大的遗憾，而他的研究一再表明同样的结论。

And one of the reasons why I love professor Pillimer's research is he's taken these interviews with thousands of people in their eighties, nineties, and one hundreds talking about their biggest regrets in life, and his research shows the same thing over and over again.

当人们躺在病榻上时，他们并不希望自己当初买了一栋更大的房子。

When people are on their deathbed, they don't wish they bought a bigger house.

他们后悔没有请求原谅。

They regret not asking for forgiveness.

他们后悔没有多说一句'我爱你'。

They regret not saying, I love you more.

他们后悔让关系破裂。

They regret letting their relationships fall apart.

所以当你意识到有个看不见的时钟在滴答作响时，这个选择就出现了。

So when you remember there's a clock ticking that you can't see, this choice appears.

你可以浪费接下来的10个假期试图改造你的家人，或者学会接纳他们的本来面目，把精力用来爱那些爱你的人。

You can waste the next 10 holidays trying to fix your family, or you can learn to let them be who they are and who they're not, and use your energy to love whoever loves you.

我不是说这很容易，但学会去爱一个人——无论他们自身如何、无论他们是谁——这是一种选择。

I'm not saying it's easy, but it is a choice to learn how to love people in spite of themselves and in spite of who they are.

他研究中最有力的观点之一是：当你没有五十年可活时，生命中真正重要的一切都会变得清晰，而这个提醒正是为此服务。

And one of the most powerful ideas in his work is this, when you don't have fifty years left to live, everything that really matters about life comes into focus, and that's what this reminder does for you.

请记住，有一个你看不见的时钟在滴答作响，所以去爱那些爱你的人，享受你的人生吧。

Keep in mind there's a clock ticking that you can't see, so love whoever loves you and enjoy your life.

当你真正思考这一真相时，就会有一台你无法看见的时钟在滴答作响。

As you really contemplate the truth of that, there is a clock that's ticking that you can't see.

我的意思是，你永远不知道自己的时间何时会到头。

I mean, you never know when your time's up.

你永远不知道父母何时会离你而去。

You never know when your parents are gonna be gone.

你不知道朋友何时会不再在这里。

You don't know when your friends are no longer gonna be here.

你的优先级会瞬间改变，更深层次上，你的大脑会激活心理学家所说的‘意义动机’。

Your priorities instantly shift, and at an even deeper level, your brain activates what psychologists call meaning motivation.

这是一种专注于重要事物的驱动力。

It's this drive to focus on what's important.

因此，关于时间的提醒会让你拿起电话，更紧地拥抱孩子，放下无谓的争执，或开始那个项目，珍惜当下。

That's why reminders about time make you pick up the phone or hug your kids a little tighter or let go of petty arguments or start that project, savor the moment.

别再找借口推迟你想做的事了。

Stop talking yourself out of the things that you wanna do.

允许自己以你想要的方式生活，趁你还有时间。

Allow yourself to live your life in a way that you wanna live your life while you still have time.

一遍又一遍地说‘我爱你’，而不是仅仅假设他们知道你爱他们。

Say I love you over and over instead of just assuming they know that you love them.

这个提醒唤醒了你大脑中的这部分。

This reminder wakes up that part of your brain.

它促使你从‘想当然’转向‘有意识’，从‘改天’转向‘今天’。

It pushes you from just assuming into intention, from someday to today.

它让我想起那位医生的一句精彩名言。

It reminds me of that incredible quote from Doctor.

马丁·路德·金博士。

Martin Luther King, Jr.

如果你不能飞，那就跑。

If you can't fly, then run.

如果你不能跑，那就走。

If you can't run, then walk.

如果你不能走，那就爬。

If you can't walk, then crawl.

但无论你做什么，都必须继续向前。

But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.

这个提醒真正要传达的就是这个。

That's what this reminder is really about.

带着你所爱的人，在你仅有的一生中继续向前。

Keep moving forward with the people you love in the one life that you've got.

这七个提醒不仅仅是话语。

These seven reminders aren't just words.

它们是对抗畏缩不前的武器。

They're weapons against playing small.

我希望你能随时掌握这七个提醒。

And I want you to have all of these seven reminders right at your fingertips.

我希望它们深深烙印在你的脑海中。

I want them encoded into your brain.

我希望你们把它们写下来，贴在冰箱上，或者贴在书桌上，因为它们是真相，它们有效，它们就像情感上的搭火线，能让你从‘唉，我真倒霉’、拖延推诿、等着明天的糟糕状态中惊醒过来。

I want you to write them out, stick them on your fridge, or stick them on your desk, because they are the truth, and they work and they are these emotional jumper cables that'll snap you out of that bad day, woe is me, kicking the can down the field, waiting for tomorrow.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

你不是在那样做。

That's not what you're doing.

你需要这些提醒，所以它们就在这里。

You need these reminders, so here they are.

你完全可以是个善良、心地好的人，但在必要时依然能对别人说‘滚蛋’。

You can be a kind person with a good heart and still tell people to fuck off when needed.

这叫做界限。

It's called boundaries.

治疗师告诉我最好的一句话是：你并不懒惰。

The best thing a therapist ever told me is, you're not lazy.

你现在只有有限的能量，而你正用全部能量来生存。

You only have a certain amount of energy right now, and you're using it all to survive.

你知道现在谁正在经历艰难时刻吗？

You know who's going through a tough time right now?

每个人都是。

Everyone.

请善良一些。

Be kind.

我还没有成为我想成为的全部，但我已经成为两年前想成为的很多样子，意识到这一点真好。

I'm not everything I wanna be yet, but I'm a lot of things I wanted to be two years ago, and what a wonderful thing it is to realize that.

最健康的习惯之一是什么？

One of the healthiest habits to learn?