快速变好：5个立即改善心情的方法

我的天哪。

Holy cow.

这是我喝过最好喝的蛋白粉。

It was the best protein I'd ever had.

完全不胀气。

No bloat.

特别美味。

Delicious.

没有人工香精。

No artificial flavor.

不含糖。

Sugar free.

零脂肪。

Fat free.

你确定这真有23克优质蛋白吗？

Are you sure this is 23 grams of high quality protein?

你最好相信，我确定，因为我是联合创始人。

You better believe I'm sure because I'm a co founder.

我每天早上第一件事就是喝一杯，然后去锻炼。

I have one first thing in the morning before I work out.

搞定。

Boom.

23克高质量蛋白质。

23 grams of high quality protein.

没问题。

Handled.

在PureGenius Protein使用优惠码MELL10，首单可享10%折扣。

Use code MELL10 at PureGenius Protein for 10% off your first order.

三秒钟摄入23克蛋白质，每份不到3美元。

Twenty three grams of protein in three seconds for under $3 a shot.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your friend Mel Robbins.

今天我要分享五件事，这些内容基于来过我们播客的专家们的建议，能让你立刻改变心情，快速感觉好起来。

And today I'm sharing five things based on the experts who have been on the podcast that will shift your mood instantly and help you feel better fast.

休息之前，神经科学家，博士。

Before the break, neuroscientist, Doctor.

温迪·铃木，给了你和我两个超级简单的方法来改变心情。

Wendy Suzuki, gave you and me two incredibly simple ways to shift your mood.

第一，动一动你的身体，十分钟就行。

Number one, move your body for ten minutes.

出门走走，散个步。

Get out the door, go for a walk.

你会感觉像换了个人一样。

You'll feel like a different person.

第二，洗澡的时候，哦，最后用冷水冲一下。

And number two, when you take a shower, oh, end it on cold.

那种天然的肾上腺素会在你体内涌动。

You get that natural adrenaline smoking through your body.

你会爱上这种感觉的。

You're gonna love that.

接下来我们要聊第三种感受，你和听众们反复提到过很多次，那就是——梅尔，你知道我需要什么帮助吗？

Now we're gonna move on to the third feeling that kept coming up over and over and over again from you and your fellow listeners, which is, know what I need help with, Mel?

我的脑子快炸了。

My brain is fried.

我懂这种感觉。

I know this feeling.

我总喜欢这样解释，就像吊桥合不上一样。

I always explain this like the drawbridge is not closing.

你知道吊桥吗？两边升起来，然后放下来的时候，两边会对接上。

You know how on a drawbridge both sides go up and then as it comes down, the sides connect?

当我脑子快炸的时候，不管是因为工作太多，还是把自己逼得太紧，或者正在经历一些事情，就好像吊桥怎么也合不上。

When my brain is fried, whether it's because I've worked too much or I've been pushing myself too hard, or I've been going through something, it's almost like the drawbridge can't close.

我没办法把思路串起来。

I can't connect the dots.

我刚开始说一句话。

I start a sentence.

就说不完了。

I can't finish the sentence.

我刚有个想法，转头就忘了。

I have a thought, then I forget the thought.

约好的事情。

Make the appointment.

我就忘了。

I forget the appointment.

我连我丈夫的生日都忘了。

I forget that it's my husband's birthday.

我连截止日期都错过了。

I drop the ball on a deadline.

你会开始想，我到底怎么了？

You start to go like, what is wrong with me?

是荷尔蒙的问题吗？

Is this hormones?

是生活压力吗？

Is this life?

还是我的大脑本身就这样？

Is this just my brain?

是不是我的记忆出了什么问题？

Is this, like, something going on with my memory?

其实，当你感觉脑子一团糟，那是因为你的大脑长时间接收了太多信息。

Well, it turns out that feeling mentally fried is what happens when your brain has been taking in too much for too long.

这听起来像你吗？

Does that sound like you?

你同时要处理太多事情了。

You're juggling too many things.

你脑子里开了太多标签页了。

You got too many open tabs.

太多人需要你，都在向你索取。

You've got too many people needing something from you.

刷太多手机了，这都是信息输入。

Too much scrolling, which is input.

反应过度了，这也是信息输入。

Too much reacting, which is input.

担心太多了，这还是信息输入。

Too much worrying, which is input.

拼命想跟上节奏，同样是信息输入。

Too much trying to keep up, which is input.

到某个时候，你的大脑就会说：好了，我受够了。

And at some point your brain's just like, okay, we're done here.

到此为止了。

We're done here.

然后会发生的是，你的注意力开始变得不那么集中了。

And what happens is your attention starts to get weaker.

突然之间，最简单的事情都变得困难，或者你反复读同一句话五遍。

And suddenly, the simplest things feel hard or you're rereading the same thing five times.

或者，这是我最喜欢的一个例子。

Or here's my favorite one.

你有多少次走进一个房间，然后心想：等等，我刚才想干什么？

How many times have you walked into a room and you're like, Wait, was I?

我为什么进来这里？

Why am I coming in here?

然后你走出去，又突然想起来：哦，对了。

And then you walk out and then you go, Oh, oh, that's right.

我是来拿剪刀的。

I needed to get the scissors.

然后你又走回去，走到一半又停下来，心想：等等。

And then you go back in and you get halfway across the room and you go, wait a minute.

我又在找什么来着？

What am I looking for again?

或者这是我遇到的另一件事。

Or this is another thing that happens for me.

这是梅尔·罗宾斯大脑达到最大容量的第一个信号。

This is signal number one that Mel Robbins has reached peak brain capacity.

我会为最微小的事情感到烦躁，或者对最好的人发脾气。

I get irritated over the tiniest things, or I get upset with the nicest people.

然后我又觉得很糟糕。

And then I feel terrible.

这种感觉最难受了。

And it's the worst.

当你可怜的大脑累坏了的时候，那是最糟糕的。

It's the worst when your poor brain is fried.

它一直在努力处理所有事情，把一切都归档，让你保持条理。

It's just been trying so hard to do everything and to file it all away and to keep you organized.

天哪，你这脑子。

Oh my gosh, that brain of yours.

哇。

Wow.

它一直在超负荷运转。

It's been working on overtime.

你看，你可以一直告诉自己，集中注意力，再努力一点，振作起来。

And look, you can tell yourself all you want, focus, try harder, get it together.

但也许你不需要更努力地集中注意力。

But maybe you don't need to focus harder.

也许你需要改变你大脑关注的东西。

Maybe you need to change what your brain is looking at.

这个想法是不是挺有意思的？

Isn't that kind of an interesting thought?

我是说，让我再说一遍。

I mean, let me say that again.

你也许不需要更努力。

You may not need to try harder.

事实上，也不应该。

In fact, shouldn't.

或许你只需要稍微转移一下注意力。

Maybe you just need to change your focus for a second.

这个建议来自一位博士。

And this piece of advice comes from Doctor.

亚当·奥尔特。

Adam Alter.

博士。

Doctor.

奥尔特博士是纽约大学斯特恩商学院著名的研究员和教授。

Alter is a renowned researcher and professor at NYU's Stern School of Business.

他在普林斯顿大学获得了心理学博士学位。

He earned his PhD in psychology from Princeton.

他的研究很大一部分集中在周围环境如何影响你的思维、行为和感受。

And a major part of his research focuses on how the environment around you shapes how you think, how you behave, and how you feel.

阿尔特博士

Dr.

阿尔特博士将解释，仅仅改变你注视的对象，就能立刻改变你的感受。

Alter is going explain how simply changing what you're looking at immediately changes how you feel.

你知道，有句名言，我想是韦恩·戴尔说的：当你改变看待世界的方式，你眼中的世界也随之改变。

You know, there's that famous, I think it's a Wayne Dwyer quote, When you change the way you look at the world, the world you look at changes.

而博士

And Doctor.

亚当·阿尔特在这里要教你，有一些具体的事物值得你去关注和聚焦，它们能从根本上改变你身体的感觉，以及你大脑的运作方式。

Adam Alter is here to teach you that there's specific things to look at and focus on that fundamentally change the way you feel in your body and the way your brain is able to work.

那么，让我们听听他在梅尔·罗宾斯播客节目中的分享。

So let's take a listen to what he said when he was here on the Mel Robbins podcast.

我的很多工作都聚焦于这些不同的环境线索如何影响我们的思维、感受和行为，以及我们的福祉和幸福感。

So a lot of my work focuses on how these different cues shape how we think, feel, and behave and our welfare, our well-being.

我最近的研究重点在于，当我们尽可能远离屏幕、走进自然环境时，会发生什么。我想大家普遍都有一种感觉，那就是这对我们有益。

A lot of the focus for me recently is what happens when you go as far from screens as possible to natural environments, which we all sort of have the, I think, general sense that that's good for us.

身处自然环境确实很好。

It's good to be in a natural environment.

但在我做过的所有研究中，这种影响是最深刻的之一。哪怕只是花点时间在流动的水边待着，或者听听风吹过树叶的声音，都能对我们的身心健康产生巨大的影响，非常值得去做。

But the effects there are among the most profound I've ever seen in any research, that just spending a bit of time near a body of running water or hearing wind rustle through trees have a huge effect on your welfare and it's worth doing.

这具体会对我们的身心健康产生什么样的影响呢？

What effect does it have on your welfare?

现代生活中，我们面临的一个问题是精力不断被消耗。

So one thing about the way we live our lives today in the modern era is that we are constantly sapped.

我们的注意力也在被一点点榨干。

Our attention is sapped.

不管是在看屏幕、长时间开会讨论，还是处理工作，我们都得时刻保持高度专注。

We're asked to pay huge amounts of very focused attention all the time, whether we're looking at screens, whether we're having extended work conversations, whether we're doing work.

所以到了下班的时候，整个人基本就彻底透支了。

So by the end of the day, you're kind of depleted, depleted, depleted.

如果你戴那种能监测身体电量（body battery）的手表，你会发现它就这么一直往下掉，一直掉。

If you wear one of those watches that tracks your body battery, you see it just kinda goes down and down and down.

这很能比喻我们现在的生活方式。

And that's a good metaphor for the way we live our lives.

总结得挺到位的。

It sums it up pretty well.

关于大自然，除了真正睡觉以外，身处自然环境本身就能让人恢复精力。

The thing about nature is that apart from actually being asleep, being in a natural environment is replenishing.

它基本上就是把那个电量表倒过来，你的能量又开始回升了。

It basically turns that dial upside down and so your energy starts to climb again.

所以它能把你因为高度专注而消耗掉的东西补回来很多。

So it gives you back a lot of what is sacked by that very focused attention.

因为在自然环境里，你的注意力还是会被一些东西吸引。

Because when you're in a natural environment, your attention is still grabbed by things.

你可能会听到鸟叫，听到流水声，看到树木，或者看到大海什么的，但那种不那么专注的注意力，其实特别能让人恢复。

You might hear a bird, you might hear the running water, you might look at trees, whatever it might be looking at the ocean, but that kind of less focused attention is really restorative.

实际上，有一整套研究叫做注意力恢复疗法，专门研究这个观点，就是身处自然环境是我们拥有的最好的药物之一。

And there's actually a whole body of research called attention restoration therapy that focuses on exactly this idea that being in natural environments is one of the best forms of medicine we have.

那我们好好聊聊这个。

So, let's unpack that.

我记得你提到了注意力疗法？

I think you said something about attention therapy?

注意力恢复疗法。

Attention restoration therapy.

那是什么？

What is that?

对，基本上就是说你的注意力一直在被消耗。

Yeah, it's basically this idea that your attention is constantly being sapped.

一直在被夺走。

It's being taken away.

而在自然环境中的那种注意力，不费劲，反而能恢复精力。

And the kind of attention you have in a natural environment, which is not demanding, it's replenishing.

确实

It's

是真的。

true.

它能让你恢复。

It restores you.

让你重新振作。

It brings you back.

给你一些你原本没有的东西。

It gives you something that you don't have.

我觉得对我来说最深刻的例子是，有一项在医院做的研究，研究对象是手术恢复期的病人，他们被随机分配到不同的病房。

I think the single most profound example of this for me was a study that was done at a hospital on people who were recovering from surgery and they were randomly assigned to different rooms.

有些病房窗外是自然环境，有漂亮的绿草坪和树木，而有些病房因为所在位置，看不到这样的景色。

And some of the rooms looked out at a natural environment, a beautiful green lawn, some trees, and some of the rooms just where they happened to be in the building did not have that view.

他们看到的是大楼的另一部分。

They were looking at another part of the building.

他们想追踪这些接受相同手术的人，根据他们被分配到哪个房间，恢复情况有何不同。

And they wanted to track how these people recovered from identical surgeries, depending on which room they happened to be assigned to.

结果发现，他们需要的止痛药量几乎少了一半。

And they found they needed like half as much pain medication.

住院恢复时间也少了三天。

They spent three days fewer in the hospital recovering.

仅仅是看着那片自然环境，就是最好的药物。

Just looking out at that natural environment was the best form of medicine there was.

所以这是真的。

So it's true.

我每周大概跑四到五天，尽量在户外跑。

I run maybe four or five days a week and I try to do it outside when I can.

我知道在某种程度上，这感觉就是很好。

And I know on some level it just feels good.

但背后也有大量的科学依据。

But there's a huge amount of science behind that as well.

那你建议我们在生活中加入些什么呢？

So what do you recommend for us to put into our lives?

因为我们请过神经科学家、医生、睡眠专家来节目里讲早上第一时间接触自然光的重要性。

Because we've had neuroscientists, medical doctors, sleep experts come on the show and talk about the importance of getting natural light first thing in the morning.

也有人提到，如果你感到精疲力尽，或者正经历那种能量被抽干的感觉，哪怕只是看看窗外远处，也能帮你恢复精力。

We've also had someone talk about if you're kind of burnt out and you are having one of those moments where you just feel your energy draining, even looking off at the distance out the window can help you restore your energy.

有哪些要点或者有科学依据的方法，人们可以在生活中实践，来利用这些研究呢？

What are some of the takeaways or the science backed things that people can implement in their lives to tap into this research?

对，我觉得最重要的一点是，我昨天在森林里跑步，感觉太棒了。

Yeah, so I think the biggest thing is I ran yesterday in a forest and it was wonderful.

那里有流水，有各种自然元素，真的非常治愈。

And there was running water, there were all these ingredients and it was incredibly restorative.

但作为跑者，我的本能是继续跑下去，这就像我们生活的方式，对吧？

But as a runner, my instinct is to just keep going, which is how we live our lives, right?

你在做一件事，就想一直做到结束，做到完成，做到可以划掉它。

You're doing something and you wanna keep going till it ends, till you finish doing it, till you can check it off.

我逼自己停下来五分钟，坐在一块石头上，就看着水流过去。

And I had to push myself to stop for five minutes to sit on a rock and just let the water go by.

那绝对是那天最让人恢复精力、最美妙的时刻。

And that was by far the most restorative, wonderful part of the day.

我觉得这里面有道理，就是刻意让自己停下来。

And I think there's something to that, this idea of purposely stopping yourself.

所以我的建议是，不管你在大城市还是不在大城市，找一小块自然环境。

So I would say, whether you're in a big city or whether you're not in a big city, find a little patch of natural environment.

顺便说一句，如果你住在大城市的高楼公寓里，没有这个条件，那就算公寓里的小树、小植物，或者一个小喷泉的流水声，也能替代那种体验。你只需要每天花五分钟，什么都不做，就沉浸在那样的自然环境中，哪怕只是公寓里的一小片。

And by the way, if you're in an apartment in a big urban environment and you don't have that option, even little trees, little plants that you have in the apartment, the sound of a little fountain that you have with running water, that stands in for that experience too, is just spend say five minutes a day doing absolutely nothing but taking and drinking in that natural environment, even if it's a tiny one in your apartment.

如果能出门去，当然更好。

If you can get out, all the better.

但我觉得，每天坚持这样做非常重要，算是一种日常练习。

But it's very important to do that, I think, a sort of daily practice.

光是听他提到流水声，是不是就让你觉得，流水声本身就很治愈？

Even just hearing him say the sound of running water, I mean, doesn't that just make you go, the sound of running water?

我想强调一下博士刚才提到的那个术语。

I wanna underline that term that Dr.

阿特勒博士刚才说的，注意力恢复疗法。

Attler just said, attention restoration therapy.

博士。

Dr.

阿尔特博士的研究已经证明了注意力恢复疗法是如何起作用的。

Alter's research has proven how attention restoration therapy works.

花时间接触大自然，或者只是待在绿色植物周围，哦天哪，还有流水的声音，都能帮助你恢复专注力，让你的大脑从疲惫状态转向平静甚至充满活力。

Spending time in nature or simply being around greenery or, oh my gosh, the sound of running water, it can help restore your focus and shift your mind from tired to calm or even energized.

如果你真的停下来想一想，你就能体会到其中的真谛。

And if you really stop and think about it, you can embrace the truth of that.

当我想到这个，比如流水的声音，我就在想它之所以有效，是不是因为流水声让我想起那些躺在河边放松的时刻。

And as I think about that, like the sound of running water, I wonder if why it works is because the sound of running water makes me think of moments of time where I'm like laying by a river.

它会提醒你的大脑，生活并不总是这么疯狂混乱，你内心也有体验平静和安宁的时刻。

It reminds your mind that life isn't always this freaking chaotic and nutso, that there are parts of you that experience moments of calm, moments of peace.

你可以用他教你的这个技巧，在感觉精疲力竭的时候去调动那种状态。

And you can use this technique that he's taught you in order to tap into that when you're feeling like you're fried.

我知道，世界各地有很多人在听这个节目，他们住在大城市里，也许你也住在大城市。

And I know that, you know, a lot of people around the world listen to this show and they live in large cities and maybe you live in a big city.

或者你正在听节目，你在办公室工作，或者你的工作让你整天待在室内，或者整天站着照顾别人，我真的希望你能特别注意这个技巧，因为它对你特别有用。

Or maybe you're listening and you work in an office or you have the kind of job where you're inside all day or on your feet taking care of people all day, I really want you to pay attention to this particular technique because it's gonna be especially helpful to you.

因为你知道那种感觉，当你终于走到户外，深吸一天中第一口新鲜空气时，你会想，天哪。

Because you know that feeling when you finally step outside and take your first real breath of fresh air all day, and you're like, oh my gosh.

我感觉自己刚从地窖里逃出来。

I feel like I just escaped from the crypt.

哦，好吧。

Oh, okay.

我出来了。

I'm out of there.

我们自由了。

We're free people.

你知道吗，其实我昨天真的去散步了。

You know, in fact, you know, I told you I took a walk yesterday.

这是真的。

That's for real.

我出去的时候和我嫂子克里斯汀在一起，她是我们的首席运营官。

And I went outside and I was with my sister-in-law, Christine, who's our chief operating officer.

我转向她，就说，这太不可思议了。

And I turned to her and I just said, this is incredible.

我们应该把这件事定为每天必做。

We should make this mandatory every single day.

外面有人在走来走去。

There are people walking around.

我们中午还吃了个冰淇淋甜筒。

We got an ice cream cone in the middle of the day.

天空是蓝的。

There was a blue sky.

微风轻轻吹着。

The breeze was blowing.

当你注意到这些细节，内心就会有所触动。

And just noticing those things, it shifts something in you.

所以为什么要等到脑子完全累垮了才行动呢？

So why wait until your brain is completely fried?

利用这些研究，让自己每天都感觉更好。

Use the research to feel better every single day.

如果你已经累垮了，就像我最近感觉的那样，也请用这些研究让自己每天都感觉更好。

And if you are fried, like I have been feeling fried, use this research to feel better every single day.

当我散步回来，我们结合了铃木博士的十分钟散步研究，

When I step back in from that walk, and so we're combining Dr.

以及阿尔特博士的研究，

Suzuki's ten minute walk research here, along with Dr.

那就是你真的需要去留意周围的事物。

Alter's research where you really wanna notice.

别出去盯着手机看。

Don't go out there and stare at your phone.

走出去，用心观察。

Step outside and notice.

当我回到办公室时，我已经完全变了一个人。

I was a fundamentally different Mel Robbins when I came back into the office.

迷雾散去了。

The fog was lifted.

我感觉更有精力了。

I felt more energized.

我的心情不一样了，接下来的一天也都不一样了。

My mood was different, and the rest of the day was different.

这真的是一个很容易尝试的方法。

This is such an easy thing to try.

你看，生活确实不容易，但让自己感觉好一点并不一定要那么难。

See, life is hard, but making yourself feel a little better doesn't have to be hard.

或者你也可以在桌上放一盆漂亮的植物，或者在杂货店买些鲜花，插在电脑旁的小瓶子里。

Or you could just put a beautiful plant on your desk or buy some fresh flowers at the grocery store and put them in a little jar next to your computer.

这个是我个人最喜欢的。

This one's my personal favorite.

我超级超级喜欢鲜花。

I love, love, love fresh flowers.

我总是在电脑旁的窗台上放一束。

I always have one right on the windowsill by my computer.

打开窗户。

Open the window.

走路去上班时摘下耳机，听听周围的声音。

Take out your headphones when you're walking to work and listen.

我是说，真正用心去听。

And, I mean, really listen.

听鸟叫，听雨声。

Listen to the birds, to the rain.

听听风声。

Listen to the wind.

听听路过操场时孩子们的笑声。

Listen to the kids laughing as you walk past that playground.

无论周围是什么，都去听。

Whatever is around you, listen.

因为当你的大脑超负荷时，你需要给它找点别的事情来关注。

Because when your brain is overloaded, you just need to give your brain something else to focus on.

不是电话、屏幕、邮件、短信、会议，也不是别的什么。

Not the phone call, the screen, the emails, the text, the meeting, the something different.

而是新鲜的东西。

Something new.

你知道吗？

And you know what?

要不我现在就给你一点时间，让你试试这个？

How about I give you a moment to do that right now?

我们按一下暂停键怎么样？

How about we hit the pause button?

接下来我会让我们的赞助商说几句话，你可以趁机出去走走，呼吸一下新鲜空气，听听周围的声音。

And I'm gonna let our sponsors share a few words and you can take a step outside, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the sounds.

等我们回来的时候，有一位非常意想不到、非常有趣的人等着你，她会教你如何不再等着别人来给你打气。

And when we come back, there is somebody very unexpected and very funny who will be waiting for you to show you how to stop waiting for other people to hype you up.

她会教你如何成为自己最好的朋友，而且我敢说，还能让你玩得更开心一点。

She's gonna show you how to become your own best friend and, dare I say, have a little bit more fun.

我们回来之后要做的正是这件事。

And that's exactly what we're gonna do when we return.

所以请继续收听。

So stay with me.

我们马上回来。

We'll be right back.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your friend Mel Robbins.

今天，我要分享五件事，这些事来自一些出现在梅尔·罗宾斯播客上的杰出专家。

And today, I'm sharing five things that you can do from some of the extraordinary experts that have appeared on the Mel Robbins podcast.

这五件事能立刻改变你的心情，帮助你快速感觉好起来。

These five things shift your mood instantly and can help you feel better fast.

在休息之前，研究员亚当·奥尔特博士。

Now, before the break, researcher, Doctor.

亚当·奥尔特教你和我，当你的大脑感觉疲惫、混乱、模糊时该怎么做。

Adam Alter taught you and me what to do when your brain feels shot, fried, fog.

改变你正在看的东西。

Change what you're looking at.

走出去。

Step outside.

真正地感受周围的一切。

Really take it all in.

现在我们来说说第四件能让你快速感觉好起来的事。

Now we're gonna talk about the fourth thing that you can do to feel better fast.

这个事跟很多听众在回答“你现在需要什么帮助？”时提到的问题有关。

And this one addresses something that I saw in so many of your fellow listeners responding to that question, what do you need help with right now?

你需要的帮助是，你厌倦了总是那么严肃。

And what you need help with is you're tired of being so serious all the time.

你厌倦了为所有人负责，把一切都扛在肩上。

You're tired of being responsible for everyone and holding everything together.

最重要的是，你厌倦了对自己太苛刻。

And more than anything else, you're just sick and tired of being hard on yourself.

你照镜子时，就开始贬低自己。

You look in the mirror and you start putting yourself down.

即使你完成了某件事，你也很快把目标往后移，继续追求下一个，甚至不享受刚刚做对的事情。

And even when you accomplish something, you're so quick to move the goalpost and move on to what's next and not even savor the thing that you just did right.

拜托。

Come on.

我们到底怎么了？

What is going on with you and me?

天哪，不是所有事情都得那么较真。

Not everything has to be that deep for crying out loud.

我们什么时候都变得这么严肃了？

When do we all get so freaking serious?

难怪我们都累坏了。

No wonder we're all exhausted.

我们总是把自己往死里逼。

We're constantly beating the hell out of ourselves.

我是说，你绝不会那样跟你的孩子说话，对吧？

I mean, you'd never talk to your kids like that, right?

那你为什么要那样对自己说话呢？

So why do you talk to yourself like that?

你需要做出一个改变。

And there's a shift that you need to make.

你不能再等着别人来拉你一把了。

You need to stop waiting for somebody else to pick you back up.

你不能再等着生活里有人来给你打气加油了。

You need to stop waiting for someone in your life to come along and hype you up.

你配得上这些吗？

Do you deserve that?

当然配得上。

Of course you do.

我们都希望有人告诉我们做得不错，但你也得学会给自己当啦啦队。

We all deserve to be told that you're doing a good job, but you also need to become your own cheerleader.

你得提醒自己，不是所有事都那么严重。

You need to remind yourself that not everything is that deep.

说真的，不是所有事都值得你那么在意。

Not everything is worth your attention for crying out loud.

而且天哪，你现在做的事情已经做得很棒了。

And by gosh, you're doing a darn good job at the things you are doing.

那个看着你并对你说“有我在”的人。

That the person that looks at you and says, I got you.

你很棒。

You're amazing.

看看你已经走了多远。

Look how far you come.

那个人必须是你自己。

That person needs to be you.

你需要提醒自己。

You need to remind yourself.

你可以享受乐趣。

You're allowed to have fun.

因为如果我们不享受乐趣，当然，一切都会感觉沉重。

Because if we're not having fun, of course, everything's gonna feel heavy.

你可以醒来后想，今天我们要搞什么名堂呢？

You're allowed to wake up and think, what kind of shenanigans are we gonna get into today?

事实上，你需要提醒自己，你得去惹更多的麻烦，找更多的乐子。

In fact, you need to remind yourself that you've gotta get into some more shenanigans and trouble.

而能做到这一点，还能让你像她那样开怀大笑的人，非切尔西·汉德勒莫属。

And the one person that could probably do that in a way that makes you laugh as she does is none other than Chelsea Handler.

切尔西非常搞笑。

Chelsea is hilarious.

我是说，显然，她是有史以来最成功的喜剧演员之一。

I mean, obviously, she's one of the most successful comedians of all time.

但在所有这些幽默的背后，隐藏着一些非常强大的东西。

But underneath all that humor is something really powerful.

她学会了如何支持自己。

She has learned how to have her own back.

当我读她那本《纽约时报》畅销书《我要她所拥有的》时，有一段话让我读得忍不住哭了。

And when I read her New York Times bestselling book, I'll have what she's having, there's one passage that I couldn't help but cry reading.

因为她写的是如何为自己而活，而她一生都在为别人而活，如何成为自己最好的朋友、自己的啦啦队长、自己最好的倾听者。

Because she wrote about becoming for herself, which she had spent her entire life trying to be for everyone else, how to become her own best friend, her own cheerleader, her own best listener.

这里是切尔西·汉德勒在梅尔·罗宾斯播客中为你朗读她书中的那段话，然后你会听到我们探讨那到底意味着什么，以及你如何也能成为自己的好朋友。

Here is Chelsea Handler on the Mel Robbins podcast reading that passage from her book to you, and then you're gonna hear us unpack what that actually means and how you can become that best friend for yourself too.

我为自己成为了我生命中每个重要人物所期望我成为的样子，我自己的好朋友，我自己的啦啦队长，我自己的倾听者，我的母亲，我的姐妹。

I became for myself what I've tried to be for every important person in my life, my own best friend, my own cheerleader, my own listener, my mother, my sister.

我成为了我自己的女儿。

I became my own daughter.

你是怎么为自己做到这一点的？

How do you do that for yourself?

你必须爱自己。

You have to love yourself.

你必须每天醒来对自己说，我知道你每天都会对着镜子给自己击掌。

And you have to wake up every single day and say, I know you high five yourself in the mirror every day.

我每天醒来。

I wake up every single day.

我看着镜子对自己说，今天我们要搞点什么恶作剧呢？

I look in the mirror and I say, kind of shenanigans are we gonna get up to today?

你这个美丽的人。

You beautiful human being.

你真的会这么说。

You literally say that.

我会这么说。

I say that.

是的。

Yes.

我的意思是，有些早上我没说，但我还是会说。

I mean, there are mornings I don't say it, but I say it.

我今天早上就说了。

I said it this morning.

我经常对自己说，你太棒了。

I say to myself all the time, you're amazing.

如果我看到镜子，我就会说，你太棒了。

If I see a mirror, I'm like, you're amazing.

看看你做了什么。

Look what you've done.

你太了不起了。

You're incredible.

还有谁会每天告诉我们这些呢？

Like, who else is going to tell us that every day?

我们必须自己告诉自己。

We have to.

作为女性，以及所有正在听这个的女性，我们必须每天提醒自己，我们本身就有内在和天生的价值。

And we all as women, and to the woman that is listening to this, you know, we have to make sure that we remind ourselves every day of our intrinsic and innate value.

我们非常有价值。

We are so valuable.

仅仅因为我们存在，就是价值。

Just by the nature of us being here is value.

而且我们可以为很多人的生活增添巨大的价值。

And we can add so much value to so many people's lives.

而且不管你是不是名人或者公众人物，都没关系。

And it doesn't matter if you're a famous person or you're a public person.

即使你是个普通人，过着比较安静的生活，你也有能力做到这些。

You even have the ability to do that as a private person with a quieter life.

每次你在街上遇到一个新面孔，你都可以带着爱意微笑地看着他们。

Every time you see a new person on the street, you can smile at them with love in your eyes.

如果你在机场看到有人遇到困难，你可以走过去问他们是否需要帮助。

You can see somebody going through a hard time at the airport and come over and be like, do you need help?

我能帮你吗？

Can I help you?

对机场洗手间的清洁工微笑，问候他们最近怎么样。

The person that's working in the airport bathroom to smile and say, how are you doing?

你今天过得好吗？

Are you having a good day?

我总觉得，当你心情好的时候，做这些很容易。

I always think that's easy to do when you're in a good mood.

但当你心情不好的时候，还能在不想付出的时候去展现你的慷慨，那才是更高层次的境界。

But when you're in a bad mood, to extend your generosity when you don't feel like it, that's like next level.

我真的很喜欢切尔西。

I just love Chelsea.

而且你有没有注意到，她其实在教你两件事？

And there are two things, did you notice, that she was teaching you?

第一件事就是，你必须成为那个支持自己的人。

The first is, number one, you have to become the person who has your own back.

不是偶尔，也不是只在顺境的时候，而是每一天都要这样。

Every once in a while, not only when things are going well, every single day.

你必须成为那个对着镜子说“我挺你”的人。

You have to be the one who looks in the mirror and says, I got you.

我挺你。

I got you.

你做得比你想象中要好。

You're doing better than you think.

你看，你已经走了多远。

I mean, look at how far you've come.

你太棒了。

You are amazing.

我知道这感觉有点奇怪、有点尴尬，但还是要去做。

And look, I know that feels kinda weird and cringey and awkward, but do it anyway.

难道你想一辈子对自己说反话，然后指望别人突然出现，告诉你那些你值得听到的话吗？

Because do you wanna spend your whole life saying the opposite to yourself, hoping that someone else is gonna just kind of waltz in and tell you the things that you deserve to hear?

别这样。

Don't do that.

提醒自己。

Remind yourself.

告诉自己你想听的话。

Tell yourself the things you wanna hear.

第二件事，我希望你真正记住，因为它同样重要。

And the second thing that I wanna make sure that you really take away from because it's just as powerful.

当你心情不好的时候，别让整个世界都围着你的坏情绪转。

When you're stuck in a bad mood, stop making the entire world about your bad mood.

抬起头，找人帮帮忙，或者去帮帮别人，留意一下身边的人。

Look up, ask somebody for help, help someone else, Notice someone.

对别人笑一笑。

Smile at someone.

帮别人一把。

Help someone.

帮别人扶一下门。

Hold the door open for someone.

问问别人，你还好吗？

Ask someone else, are you okay?

因为最快走出自己内心困境的方法，就是把爱传递给你周围的世界。

Because the fastest way out of your own head is to put some love into the world around you.

最快摆脱自己坏情绪的方法，就是看看周围，能不能帮到别人。

The fastest way to stop marinating in your own bad mood is to look around and see if you can help someone else.

我真的希望你能试试这两个建议。

And I really want you to try both of these suggestions.

我希望你照照镜子。

I want you to look in the mirror.

我希望你对自己说，我挺你。

I want you to tell yourself, I got you.

我看见你了。

I see you.

我们能搞定。

We got this.

你做得很好。

You're doing a great job.

当你发现自己心情不好的时候，不要把这整个世界都变成坏心情。

And I want you, when you catch yourself in a bad mood, do not turn the entire world into a bad mood.

别老想着自己，看看能为别人做点什么。

Get out of your head and see what you can do for somebody else.

这会立刻改变你的心情。

It'll shift your mood immediately.

这就引出了我反复看到的第五种，也是最后一种感受。

And that brings me to the fifth and final feeling I saw over and over and over again.

还有我最喜欢的一条建议，以及你将得到的工具——这是梅尔·罗宾斯播客中分享过的最棒的内容之一。

And my favorite piece of advice and the tool that you're gonna get, which is one of my favorite things that have ever been shared on the Mel Robbins podcast.

第五种感受是沉重，因为你感到害怕。

And the fifth feeling is heavy because you're feeling scared.

你感到不确定。

You feel uncertain.

你对未来感到悲伤。

You feel sad about the future.

我是说，你的听众们来信问，你会对那个失去生活重心和方向的人说什么？

I mean, of your fellow listeners wrote in, what would you tell someone who's lost their focus and their vision for their own life?

另一个人写道，我完全迷失了。

Someone else wrote, I I'm completely lost.

我不知道我这辈子该做什么，甚至不知道从哪里开始。

I don't know what I'm meant to do in my life or even where to start.

我感觉自己需要改变。

I'm feeling called to change.

但我很不开心，甚至不知道该怎么开始。

I'm so unhappy, though, and I don't even know how to begin.

我想成功，但不知道怎么做，这让我压力很大。

I want to succeed, but I don't know how, and it's stressing me out.

我怎样才能重新找到自己？

How can I find myself again?

让我印象深刻的是，你们中有多少人想要改变。

One of the things that really struck me is how many of you want change.

你们想要方向感，但不知道从哪里开始。

You want a sense of direction, but you don't know where to start.

我觉得很多时候，当你被困在人生的某个阶段，或者一直想着自己有多难受，你只是在原地打转，因为你只看到自己站在哪里。

And I think a lot of times when you get stuck in a chapter of your life, or you get stuck thinking about how bad you feel, all you're doing is spinning in place because all you see is where you're standing.

所以，你很容易就开始说服自己，觉得自己不知道从哪里开始。

And that's why it's so easy to start to convince yourself that you don't know where to start.

但也许真正的问题不是“我从哪里开始？”

But maybe the real question isn't, where do I start?

也许真正的问题是“我要去哪里？”

Maybe the real question is, where am I going?

这就引出了我想介绍给你的最后一位专家。

And that brings me to the final expert I wanna introduce you to.

因为如果没有明确的目的地，就很难迈出起跑线。

Because without a destination in mind, it's really hard to step up to the starting line.

当然，你不知道怎么开始，是因为你不知道要去哪里。

Of course, you don't know how to start because you don't know where you're going.

如果没有一个你能想象出来的最终目的地，就不可能制定出从你现在的位置到你想去的地方的路线。

And without having a final destination that you can envision, it's impossible to create a set of directions from where you are to where you wanna go next.

这就引出了梅尔·罗宾斯播客中的最后一位专家，我非常期待你们去听。

And that brings me to the final expert from the Mel Robbins podcast that I am so excited for you to listen to.

因为博士。

Because Doctor.

玛莎·贝克有一个非凡的工具，它是有科学依据的。

Martha Beck has an extraordinary tool that is backed by science.

她几十年来一直在用这个工具，帮助你此刻就能想象未来你想去的地方。

She has been using this for decades to help you right now envision where you want to go in the future.

博士。

Dr.

玛莎·贝克是世界上最受尊敬的人生导师之一。

Martha Beck is one of the most respected life coaches in the world.

她拥有哈佛大学三个学位，是《纽约时报》六次畅销书作者，并且以奥普拉的人生导师而闻名。

She holds three degrees from Harvard, is a six time New York Times bestselling author, and is famously known as Oprah's life coach.

博士。

Dr.

玛莎·贝克有一个非常强大的练习，她称之为“理想的一天”。

Martha Beck has an extraordinarily powerful exercise that she calls the ideal day.

我之所以想让你现在就亲身体验这个练习，是因为它是一项基于研究的工具，不仅能帮你跨过起跑线，还能让你更进一步。

And the reason why I wanted you to experience this exercise live right now is because it is the tool based on research that not only helps you step up to and over the starting line.

当你完成这个练习后，你会清晰地看到那个能让你真正焕发生机的未来图景。

By the time you are done with this exercise, you will have a clear picture of a future that really makes you come alive.

玛莎·贝克博士。

And Doctor.

她将带你进行这个简单的练习：只需闭上眼睛，想象一个完美理想的一天。

Martha Beck is going to walk you through this simple exercise where you just close your eyes and you picture one perfect ideal day.

现在，我想让你和我一起做个练习。

And I want you to do it with me right now.

别想太多。

Don't overthink it.

别去质疑。

Don't question.

别问自己这一切到底怎么实现。

Don't ask yourself how's it all gonna happen.

我希望你深呼吸一下，然后认真听。

I want you to just take a deep breath and listen.

让你的直觉来回答。

Let your intuition answer.

让你的感官活跃起来。

Let your senses come alive.

接下来有请博士。

Here is Doctor.

玛莎·贝克带你做这个理想一天练习。

Martha Beck walking you through the ideal day exercise.

理想的一天。

The ideal day.

对。

Yeah.

其实很简单。

It's really simple.

现在你已经扎根于自己的身体了。

And now we're you're grounded in your body.

这就是那条轨道。

This is the track.

我们得沿着轨道走。

We have to follow the track.

这就是你向前追踪的方式。

This is how you track forward.

你想在未来走多远？

How far would you like to go in the future?

我们要做一次时间旅行。

We're gonna do time travel.

所以你不要做假设。

So you don't do hypotheticals.

我想知道你会……

I wanna know what you're you're I gonna

我第一反应就是十年，整整十年。

I immediately thought a decade, ten years.

好的。

Okay.

你想想就行，不用说出来。

Think about you don't have to say it.

想象一下你那时候的年龄，还有你丈夫、孩子的年龄，就像翻日历一样，把思绪往前推。

Think about the age you'll be and the age your husband, your children will be, sort of move your mind forward like a calendar.

现在，听好接下来的指示。

Now, here are the instructions.

你的人生完全就是它本该有的样子。

Your life is absolutely what it was meant to be.

每一个瞬间都充满了你最大的快乐和最大的满足。

Every expression of your greatest joy and your greatest fulfillment.

你会在一个普通的日子里醒来，那是一个完美人生、理想人生中的普通一天。

You're gonna wake up on a day that is an ordinary day in a perfect life, in an ideal life.

所以我要做的是，我会给你一些提示，我希望你让你的感官来回答这些问题，而不是你的大脑。

So what I'm gonna do is I'll prompt you with a few things and I want you to let your senses answer these questions, not your mind.

你的大脑不能穿越时间。

So your mind can't time travel.

它会告诉你它可以，但它不能。

It will tell you it can, but it can't.

只有身体才能穿越时间。

Only the body can time travel.

事情是这样的。

And this is how it goes.

你在这个早晨醒来，甚至不睁开眼睛，你只是听。

You wake up on this morning and you don't even open your eyes, you listen.

在2034年，你完美生活中一个普通的日子里，你听到了什么？

What do you hear on this day, an ordinary day in your perfect life in 2034?

你听到了什么？

What do you hear?

我听到海浪声。

I hear waves.

嗯。

Mhmm.

还听到小孩子在笑。

And I hear little kids laughing.

好。

Okay.

那闻闻空气。

So smell the air.

别睁开眼睛。

Don't open your eyes.

你闻到什么了？

What what do you smell?

咸味。

Salt.

咖啡。

Coffee.

我看出点门道来了。

I'm seeing a theme here.

好了。

All right.

睁开眼睛。

Open your eyes.

看看床单。

Look at the sheets.

它们是什么颜色的？

What color are they?

白色。

White.

看看地板。

Look at the floor.

看起来怎么样？

What does it look like?

木头还是木头？

Wood or wood?

是宽木地板，有点，怎么说呢，不太亮。

It's a wide planked wood floor that's sort of, it's kind of, it's not shiny.

像是用旧了的那种。

It's like worn.

不错。

Cool.

看看你对面，

Look over across from you in

床上。

the bed.

那里有谁，如果有人的话？

Who's there, if anyone?

克里斯。

Chris.

这个问题不好回答。

Loaded question.

好的，太好了。

Okay, great.

看看这个房间。

Look at the room.

你看到了什么？

What do you see?

整个房间。

The whole room.

非常现代、简洁、漂亮。墙上挂照片了吗？

It's very, like, like just kind of modern and unfussy and beautiful and Are there photographs on the walls?

没有。

No.

那里有一幅画或者一张照片。

There was a there was like a painting or a photograph.

好的。

Okay.

它看起来是什么样的？

What does it look like?

那是一幅很大的海滩场景。

It's, it was like a a big beach scene.

啊，这个主题很强烈。

Ah, this theme is strong.

确实很强烈。

It's very strong.

好的。

Alright.

房间里有窗户吗？

Are there windows in the room?

有一个。

There's one.

好的。

Okay.

站起来，走到窗边，往外看。

Get up and go to the window and look out.

你看到了什么？

What do you see?

你的生活很完美。

Your life is perfect.

你看到了什么？

What do you see?

大海。

The ocean.

好的。

Okay.

也可能是阿尔卑斯山和撒哈拉沙漠那样的。

It could also be like the Alps and the Sahara.

就是说，你什么都能看到。

Like, you can see anything.

没有规则

There are no rules

在这里。

here.

好的。

Okay.

就是想象而已。

It's just imagination.

对。

Yeah.

但你看到的是海洋。

But you see the ocean.

对。

Mhmm.

是那种热带海洋，还是北方的？

Is it like a tropical ocean or is it northern?

不是。

No.

算是北方的。

It's sort of northern.

是的。

Yeah.

是岩石海岸，还是沙滩？

Rocky or just sandy?

别想了，就是

Don't think It's

一片大海。

just the ocean.

不错。

Cool.

好的。

All right.

那么，你走进你的浴室。

So, you go into your bathroom.

嗯哼。

Uh-huh.

这是一个完美的浴室。

It's the perfect bathroom.

看看浴室里所有东西的设计。

Look at the design of the everything in the bathroom.

然后看看镜子里的自己。

And then look at yourself in the mirror.

你是最健康、最容光焕发、身体最健美的自己。

And you are your healthiest, most radiant, physically fit self.

好好感受一下。

Take that in.

你看起来棒极了。

You are looking fabulous.

是的。

Yes.

然后你开始做早上的事情，洗个澡什么的。

And so you do your morning stuff, take a shower or whatever.

接着你走到衣柜前，打开门。

Then you go to your closet and open the door.

这一步非常重要。

This is very important.

衣柜里的衣服反映了你完美生活中的一切，因为你得穿不同的衣服。

The clothes in your closet reflect everything you do in your perfect life because you have to wear different things.

比如我经常问别人，看看那些鞋子。

Like so I always ask people, look at the shoes.