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嘿。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
你点开这期节目，肯定是有原因的。
You press play on this episode for a reason.
因为你累了。
It's because you're tired.
你厌倦了怀疑自己，也厌倦了说服自己放弃想要的东西。
You're tired of doubting yourself and talking yourself out of the things that you want.
你厌倦了让恐惧替你拿主意。
Tired of letting fear make your decisions for you.
那你可真是选对节目了。
Well, have you picked the right episode to listen to?
因为今天我们请来的这位了不起的嘉宾，会直视你的眼睛告诉你：如果你希望一年后的生活和现在不一样，想要理想的工作、真爱、坚定的自信、更好的友谊、更多的快乐，那就记住一条规则——坚持出现。
Because our incredible guest today is gonna look you in the eye and tell you, if you want your life to look and feel different a year from now, you want the dream job, true love, unshakable confidence, better friendships, more happiness, there's one rule, keep showing up.
Benny Blanco是一位获得12次格莱美提名的词曲作者和制作人，拥有29首冠军单曲，其中19首在Spotify上的播放量都超过了十亿次。
Benny Blanco is a 12 time Grammy nominated songwriter and producer with 29 number one hits, and 19 of those songs have over a billion streams each on Spotify.
你可能没听过他的名字，但我保证你肯定听过他的歌，比如Justin Bieber的《Love Yourself》、Katy Perry的《Teenage Dream》、Maroon 5的《Moves Like Jagger》，一首接一首，全是热门。
Now you might not know his name, but I guarantee you, you know, his music songs like love yourself by Justin Bieber teenage dream by Katy Perry moves like jagger by maroon five hit after hit after hit.
但Benny并不是一开始就一切顺利，他的职业生涯也不是从一开始就规划好的。
But Benny didn't start his impressive career with everything figured out.
他会告诉你，他并不是出身名门，也没有钱。
He's gonna tell you, he didn't grow up with famous parents or money.
他没有什么特别的天赋，而且他自己也承认，他并不是你见过的最帅的人。
He doesn't really have any special talents, and he'll admit he's not the hottest guy you're ever gonna see.
但这恰恰让他成为教你如何消除自我怀疑、克服失败、开始相信自己并付诸行动的最佳人选。
But that makes him the perfect person to teach you how to erase self doubt, overcome failure, and start believing in yourself and acting like it.
Benny专程来到我们在波士顿的录音室，分享他成功背后的真实故事和一路走来学到的宝贵教训。
Benny has come all the way to our Boston studios with the real stories behind his success and the hard lessons he's learned along the way.
他会分享那些帮助他挺过无数拒绝和挫折的、改变人生的方法和策略，这些也同样能帮到你。
He's gonna share the life changing tools and strategies that have helped him push through nonstop rejection and setbacks, and they will help you do the same.
Benny想让你知道，每一次失败都在带你走向某个了不起的地方，即使你现在还看不到。
Benny wants you to know every single failure is leading you somewhere great, even if you can't see it right now.
如果他能把失败变成金曲，你也能把自己的失败变成你一直想要的生活。
And if he can turn his failures into hits, you can turn yours into the life you've been wanting to live.
嘿，我是你的朋友Mel，欢迎收听Mel Robbins播客。
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
今天这期对话让我特别兴奋。
I am fired up for the conversation today.
我很激动你能听到这些内容。
I'm so excited you're going to experience this.
能和你一起度过这段时间，真的很荣幸。
It's such an honor to be together to spend this time with you.
如果你是第一次听，天哪，你这次可赚到了。
And if you're a new listener, holy cow, are you in for a doozy?
你在这里是因为有人分享了这个给你，你可得好好谢谢他们。
You're here because somebody shared this with you, you better thank them.
但首先，我想花点时间亲自欢迎你加入梅尔·罗宾斯播客大家庭。
But first, I just want to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
今天，我们要聊的是如何消除自我怀疑、克服失败、重置心态迎接成功，嘉宾是独一无二的班尼·布兰科。
Today, we're talking about how to erase self doubt, overcome failure, and reset your mind for success with the one and only Benny Blanco.
班尼是世界上最成功、最抢手的音乐制作人和词曲作者之一，也是21世纪最具代表性的金曲制造者之一。
Benny is one of the most successful and sought after music producers and songwriters in the world, and one of the defining hit makers of the twenty first century.
他12次获得格莱美提名，拥有29首冠军单曲。
He's a 12 time Grammy nominee who has 29 number one hits.
他的19首歌每首播放量都超过10亿次。
19 of his songs have over a billion streams each.
他五次获得BMI年度词曲作者奖，作为独立艺人，他发行的两张专辑总播放量超过110亿次。
He has won five BMI Songwriter of the Year Awards, and as a solo artist, he has released two albums that have been streamed more than 11,000,000,000 times.
班尼还是《纽约时报》畅销书作者，他的烹饪书叫《张开嘴》。
Benny is also the New York Times bestselling author of the cookbook called Open Wide.
现在他又写了一本重磅新书，叫《失败，F》，这恰好就是今天他要和你分享的主题。
And now he has written a blockbuster of a book called F Failure, which happens to be exactly the message he is here to share with you today.
布兰科，欢迎来到梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
And, Blanco, welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
天哪。
Oh my gosh.
我们开始了吗？
Are we on?
开始了。
We're on.
哇哦。
Oh, wow.
好的。
Okay.
我准备好了。
I'm ready.
我也是。
So am I.
我想从这里开始说起。
Here's where I wanna start.
好的。
Okay.
如果正在听的人，把你即将分享的关于失败的重要性、以及如何处理自我怀疑的重要性，这些基于你人生经历和疯狂职业生涯的经验，全都听进去了。
If the person listening takes everything to heart that you're about to share based on your life experience and your crazy career about the importance of failure, the importance of how you handle self doubt.
如果他们真的把你今天要教的东西听进去了，我的生活到底会发生什么改变？
If they really take to heart what you're gonna teach us today, What the heck could change about my life?
我有几点想说的。
I got a few things.
第一，我来自弗吉尼亚。
One, I'm from Virginia.
我不是洛杉矶人。
I'm not from Los Angeles.
我也不是纽约人。
I am not from New York City.
我并不是在名人父母身边长大的。
I did not grow up with famous parents.
我小时候家里也不是特别有钱。
I did not grow up with a ton of money.
我小时候长得挺滑稽的，但就是靠着那股子倔劲儿，而不是靠什么过人的天赋——我真的没什么过人的天赋。
I was like a funny looking kid and somehow through sheer will and not an incredible amount of talent I really don't have an incredible amount of talent.
我绝对不是那种你见过的最帅的人，但我却娶了地球上最漂亮、最有才华的女人。
I'm not the hottest guy you've ever seen in your life, but somehow I married the most beautiful, talented woman on planet Earth.
我在事业上想做的事都做到了，而且我每天还在寻找新的、令人兴奋的机会。
I did everything I wanted to do in my career, and I'm still searching for new amazing opportunities every day.
你看。
Look.
如果你身高一米六，想进NBA，我会为你加油，但那可能是一场硬仗。
If you're five four and you wanna be in the NBA, I'm gonna root for you, but it might be an uphill battle.
我觉得世界上几乎所有事情你都能做到。
I'd say almost everything in the world you can do.
只要你努力，大部分事情都能做到。
You can do most of the things if you work hard at it.
关键就是开始行动。
It's just about getting started.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以大家总是找出一大堆借口，说自己为什么不去做，为什么做不到。
So everyone always gives 9,000,000 excuses why they're not gonna do something, why they can't.
他们会说，哦，我要写这本书，但是，哦，天哪。
They'll say, oh, I'm gonna write this book, But, oh, shit.
首先，我得先弄台打字机。
First, I got to get a typewriter.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
我可不想用打字机。
I'm not going do a typewriter.
那我用手机写。
I'll do it on my phone.
不行。
No.
不行。
No.
我得复古一点，用手写。
I got to be old school and I got to write it by hand.
到那时候，三个星期都过去了，你还在纠结用什么工具来写书。
By then, there's been three weeks and you're still figuring out what apparatus you're going to use to write your book.
关键就是现在就开始。
And it's just about starting now.
今天就开始。
Start today.
我不在乎。
I don't care.
不管你有什么想法，如果你有一个想法，而且通常是你因为尴尬、害羞等各种原因而不敢告诉别人的那个想法，那就开始做点什么，把它从这儿挪到那儿。
Whatever idea you have, if you have one idea and it's usually the idea you're too scared to tell anyone because you're embarrassed, you're shy, all of the above, start doing something to move that from here to here.
我要求你把它往前挪三英寸半。
I'm asking you to move it three and a half inches forward.
如果你能做到，那就开始做吧。
If you can do that, just start to do it.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
你一开始做的事情可能不是最终做的事情，但你很可能会落在一个相当酷的地方。
The thing you start off doing might not be the thing you do in the end, but you'll probably land somewhere pretty fucking cool.
比如，我11岁的时候以为自己会成为世界上最伟大的歌手和说唱歌手。
Like, I thought I was gonna be the biggest singer, rapper in the world when I was 11 years old.
那没有实现，但一路上我确实做了些很酷的事。
That didn't happen for me, but I did get to do some pretty cool shit along the way.
所以，就从某个地方开始吧。
So just start somewhere.
你写在这本书的背面。
You write on the back of this book.
我写这本书是为了告诉你，为什么失败是成功的关键。
I wrote this book to show you why it's the key to success, failure.
你崇拜过的每一个英雄，失败次数都超乎你的想象。
Every hero you've ever had has failed more times than you can imagine.
除了你自己，没人会给你的人生记分。
Nobody is keeping a scorecard on your life except you.
如果有人记，那他们就是个混蛋。
And if they are, they're an a hole.
拥抱失败，别回头。
Embrace failure and never look back.
你觉得为什么人们开始做一件事这么难？
Why do you think it's so hard for people to start?
为什么我们总是想那么多？
Why do we get so up in our heads?
我们在怕什么，Benny？
What are we afraid of, Benny?
我觉得人们很难启动引擎，因为有太多“万一”了。
I think it's really hard for people to start the engine because there's so many what ifs.
万一我发了这个呢？
Well, what if I post this?
然后我小时候的朋友会嘲笑我，因为看起来我好像太装或者太说教，或者太这样太那样。
And then my friends from when I was younger make fun of me because it looks like I'm trying to be like too reachy or too preachy or too this or too that.
然后有人说，万一我发了我的音乐视频，结果零观看呢？
And then someone says, well, what if I post my music video and it gets zero views?
万一我去试篮球队，结果没选上呢？
Well, what if I try out for the basketball team and I I don't make it?
万一我去上表演课，他们说我演得不好呢？
What if I go to acting class and they tell me I'm bad?
人们害怕丢脸。
People are scared of being embarrassed.
对吧？
Okay?
这是我们被灌输的观念，但事实并非如此。
It's something that we were taught and it's not true.
我每天都在失败。
I fail every day.
对吧？
Okay?
我每一天都在失败。
I fail every single day.
我有一个朋友，他当时正经历一段艰难时期，他非常成功，但职业生涯中有一件事失败了，他一直无法释怀。
And one of my friends, he was going through a tough time, very successful, had something that failed in his career, and he like couldn't get over it.
他说，你站在台上大谈特谈你要做什么，说这会成为全世界最棒的事情。
And he said, you're standing on a soapbox talking about how you're gonna do something, and it's gonna be the biggest best thing in the world.
而90%的时候，确实如此。
And 90% of the time it is.
他说，但即使你失败了，第二天醒来，你还是会继续做下去。
He said, but even when you fail, you just wake up the next day, and you just go about it.
你就当什么都没发生过一样继续做。
You just go about it like nothing happened.
我开始思考这件事，然后我说，好吧，我想我大概是得了失败健忘症。
And I started thinking about it, and I said, well, I guess I have, like, a failure to amnesia.
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?
失败健忘症？
Failure to amnesia?
或者说是对失败的健忘。
Or amnesia to failure.
你看，我其实一直都有感觉。
See, I feel all the time.
你看。
Look.
我刚才就搞砸了。
I just fucked up just now.
好吧。
Okay.
所以这正好，这个一定要保留。
So that's a that's a perfect keep that in.
谁也别删掉。
Nobody take that out.
我不会删掉的。
I'm not taking that out.
好的。
Okay.
你别担心。
Don't you worry.
所以，你对失败有失忆症。
So I You have an amnesia to failure.
意思是，你会忘记失败？
Meaning, you forget about failure?
如果你忘了失败，我觉得其他人也会忘掉。
If you forget about the failure, I feel like everyone else is gonna forget about it.
我想确保你在听的时候，真的听懂了Benny刚才说的话。
I wanna make sure that as you're listening, you actually heard what Benny just said.
就是如果你忘了失败，其他人也会忘掉。
That if you forget about the failure, everyone else is gonna forget about it.
好的。
Okay.
你看。
Look.
这个。
This.
你怎么
What do you
哦，所以他举着一块牌子，上面写着
oh, so he's holding a board that
写着“是的”。
says Yeah.
各位听众，我现在举着一块牌子。
Anyone listening, I'm holding a board.
上面写着“失败”。
It says failure.
明白吗？
Okay?
这就是你。
This is you.
这就是我。
This is me.
我们就是这块牌子。
We are this board.
我们在一起。
We are together.
我们都有很多失败。
We both have lots of failures.
但如果我们这样擦，再那样擦，再那样擦，你就假装我很擅长擦掉，那些失败的小点点都不见了。
But if we just go like this and we go like that and we go like that and you just pretend that I'm really good at erasing and there's none of those little specks of failure there anymore.
现在我们有了一块空白的板子。
Right now we have a blank board.
明白吗？
Okay?
所以你现在看着这个。
So you're looking at this right now.
这就是我。
This is me.
你看不到失败。
You don't see failure.
你什么都看不到。
You see nothing.
确实如此。
It's so true.
但等一下。
But hold on.
你知道我看着你的时候看到了什么吗？
You know what I see when I look at you?
什么？
What?
因为这是我们刚开始交谈时的原因之一，我觉得你是一个非常强大且独特的老师。
Because this is one of the reasons when you and I first started talking, and I think you are such an incredibly powerful and unique teacher.
我真的是这么认为的。
I really do.
但我也在想，我该如何克服这样一个事实：当别人看着你，看到你的事业，看到你在公众眼中的形象，看到你所有的成就时，会有一种距离感，就像‘好吧，你知道，这是Benny Blanco’那样。
And yet I was like, okay, and how do I get over the fact and overcome the fact that when somebody looks at you and sees your career or sees you in the public eye and sees all the accomplishments, there's that distance that's sort of like, okay, well, you know, it's Benny Blanco.
我是说，他能教我什么呢？
I mean, what could he teach me about?
比如，怎么在生活中获得幸福或者找到人生的意义。
Like, how I'm gonna get, like, happiness in my life or meaning in my life.
你明白我的意思吗？
Do you see what I mean?
所以人们看你的时候，只看到你的成就，却看不到你一路走来经历的那些失败。
And so people look at you and only see the accomplishments, but they don't see the failures that got you here.
因为没人会去看那些失败。
Because nobody's looking at those failures.
你记得迈克尔·乔丹的什么？
What do you remember about Michael Jordan?
他从罚球线起跳扣篮。
He dunked from the foul line.
他得分比任何人都多。
He scored, like, the most amount of points out of anyone.
可能勒布朗现在已经打破这个纪录了。
Maybe LeBron broke that now.
我也不太清楚。
I don't even know.
但那时候，情况就是这样。
But at that time, it was that.
所以你坐在那里。
So you're sitting there.
你看着迈克尔·乔丹。
You're looking at Michael Jordan.
你会去数他投丢了多少球吗？
Are you counting all his misses?
他出手次数比任何人都多。
He took the most shots out of anybody.
而且他不会坐在那里说，我今天投了22次。
And it's like, he's not sitting there saying, like, I took 22 shots today.
我不该再投了。
I shouldn't take any more.
我只进了六个。
I only made six of them.
不。
No.
他会一直投到天昏地暗，直到达到目的。
He's gonna shoot the fucking lights out until he gets what he wants.
我觉得你、我，我们都在做同样的事。
And I feel like you, me, we're all doing the same thing.
我应该是你正在听的那个人。
I should be the exact person you're listening to.
看看我。
Look at me.
我没有什么特别的能力。
I have no special power.
我出生时也没什么特别的。
I wasn't born with anything special.
我就是个普通人，只是特别努力，能得到我想要的，因为大多数人到了那堵墙面前就停了。
I'm just a normal guy who works really hard and gets what I want because most people, when they get up to that line where it's just a brick wall.
明白吗？
Okay?
你面前就是一堵墙。
You're sitting at a brick wall.
大多数人到了墙跟前。
Most people, they get to the brick wall.
他们会说，这是一堵墙。
They go, it's a brick wall.
然后转身就走。
I'm gonna turn around.
我呢，到了墙跟前，我会把它推倒。
Me, I get to the brick wall and I like I like I like throw it to the ground.
我就冲过去。
I run.
直接穿过去。
I jump through it.
可能会摔断脖子什么的，但就算死我也要试试。
I might break my neck or something, but I'm gonna die trying to do it.
所以只要你有动力，一直往前走，别让别人告诉你因为这样那样你做不到，你就能做到。
And that's just if you have the motivation and you just keep going, you don't let anybody tell you you can't do something because of this, this, and that, you can do it.
只要你下定决心，几乎什么事都能做成。
You can do whatever you want if you put your mind to it, almost.
嗯，Benny，你知道吗，我觉得特别有意思的是，至少对我个人来说，我能看到很多年都浪费在等别人选我、等别人注意到我、等别人给我许可，或者等完美的条件上。
Well, Benny, you know what I find fascinating is that a lot of at least for me personally, I can see years wasted waiting for either somebody to pick me or somebody to notice or somebody to give me permission or the perfect conditions.
而且当大家都在等别人给你信号的时候，很容易忽略的是，真正阻止你做事的只有你自己。
And as everybody's been waiting around for some other person, right, to give you the signal, what it's easy to miss is that the only person that's actually stopping you from doing something is you.
你阻止自己是因为你害怕，但你根本不需要害怕。
And you're stopping yourself because you're scared, and you don't need to be scared.
我要再看一眼镜头。
I'm gonna look at the camera again.
你不需要害怕。
You don't need to be scared.
不会发生什么坏事，顶多就是你还在原地，然后你得继续努力。
Nothing bad is going to happen except maybe you're right where you started, and you just gotta keep working harder at it.
我跟你说，我曾经到过顶峰，然后跌到谷底，再爬回来。
And I'll tell you one thing, I've been at the top and had to go all the way back to the bottom and come back up.
你有没有经历过这种事？
Has that ever happened to you?
你有没有曾经处于巅峰状态，然后跌得很惨，甚至不知道该怎么办，最后还得一步步爬回来？
Have you ever been at the top of your game and fallen down so far you don't even know where you could go and then you gotta climb all the way back up?
有，41岁，
Yes, 41,
三个不到10岁的孩子。
three kids under the age of 10.
我们当时过得挺好的。
We were doing great.
我丈夫在做餐饮生意。
My husband was in the restaurant business.
后来事情就变糟了。
Things went sideways.
我们发现自己欠了800美元的债。
We found ourselves $800 in debt.
房子被抵押了。
Liens hit the house.
我丢了工作。
I lost my job.
连买食品杂货的钱都付不起。
Couldn't pay for groceries.
是的。
Yeah.
你做了
What'd you
什么？
do?
我把自己喝得烂醉，然后躺在地上自怨自艾，还冲我丈夫发脾气，把问题都归咎于这个世界。
Of all, I drank myself into the ground and then laid around in misery and bitched at my husband and blamed the world for my problems.
但那样根本没用。
And that didn't work.
后来我终于受够了那样的处境，也受够了等着别人来救我，更厌恶自己不断沉沦，看着别人生活进步时心里那股嫉妒。我真的对自己、对停滞不前、对自我厌恶感到恶心，那一刻我就对自己说：如果你真的想改变生活，那就证明给我看。
And then I finally got so sick of where I was, and I got so sick of waiting for somebody else to rescue me, and I got so disgusted by the spiraling that I was creating and the envy that I felt watching other people progress in their lives, like I literally got just disgusted with myself and the stagnation and the self loathing that I just had this moment where I just said, if I actually wanna change my life, prove it.
你还记得当时你在哪里吗？
Do you remember where you were?
记得。
Yes.
你在哪里？
Where were you?
那是2008年2月的一个星期二早上，我躺在床上。
I was lying in bed on a Tuesday morning, February 2008.
那在你开始顺利之前，你觉得你试了多少次？
And then how many things do you think you tried before things started going your way?
你试了多少次找工作，试了多少次做这个，试了多少次去得到……
How many times did you try to get a job, try to do this, Do try to get
你知道吗？
you know?
我的意思是，那花了每一天，整天的时间。
I mean, it took every day, all day long.
那就是我的生活。
That's my life.
但是你知道吗，当你说你没有什么特殊才能的时候，你得说服我，因为我不相信。
And you know, but when you say that you don't have any special talents, convince me because I don't believe that.
好的。
Okay.
我要说的是——
Here's what I'll
因为我觉得开始做这件事本身就是一种特殊才能，但我觉得你可以教我们怎么做。
because I think it's a special talent to start, but I think you can teach us how to do it.
对。
Yes.
我知道如果我每天都出现，也许我甚至不知道自己在做什么，但只要我出现，最终可能别人都不在了，他们只需要下一个最好的人选。
I know if I show up every day, maybe I don't know even what I'm doing, but if I show up and eventually there might not be the other guy there and they just need the next best thing.
其实真的没那么复杂。
Like, it's really not that complicated.
看起来好像很复杂。
Look, it seems so complicated.
对我来说好像很难。
It seems daunting for me.
我开始了。
I started.
对吧？
Okay?
我有一个梦想。
I had a dream.
我想成为一名音乐家，一名专业的音乐家。
I wanted to be a musician, a professional musician.
好。
K.
音乐将是我的一生。
Music is gonna be my life.
而我没有任何人脉。
And I have no connections.
零人脉。
0.0 connections.
所以什么都没有。
So there's nothing.
那里什么都没有。
There's nothing there.
连个入口都没有。
There's no point of entry.
零。
Zero.
我甚至不能去某个地方露面。
I can't even go show up somewhere.
我都不知道去哪里露面。
I don't know where it is to show up.
确实
It's so
是这样。
true.
所以我会去录音室外面等着，那时候我大概才十一岁。
So I would go and I would wait outside of recording studios when I was probably at this point, like, eleven.
十岁还是十一岁？
Ten or eleven?
对。
Yeah.
我会去录音室。
I'd go to a studio.
我会让我妈带我去。
I'd have my mom take me.
我会去录音室，然后在外面等着。
I'd go to a studio, and I'd wait outside.
我会等一个人走出来，然后问他，你做音乐吗？
And I'd wait for a person to walk out, and I'd say, do you make music?
我就是这么问的，然后我会说，我能在这里做点什么吗？
And that was I would just ask, and then I'd say, can I do anything here?
我能做这个吗？
Can I do this?
我能做那个吗？
Can I do that?
我就是想待在录音室里。
And I was just trying to be in the room.
因为只要你到场，待在录音室里，就一定会发生点什么。
Because if you show up and you're in the room, something's gonna go down.
肯定会发生点事情。
Something's gonna happen.
要么你能学到东西。
You're gonna either learn.
要么你能得到机会。
You're gonna get an opportunity.
很多时候，关键就是到场，然后找到那个地方。
Like, so much of it is just showing up and then finding the room.
明白吗？
Okay?
这就是前两件事。
That's the first two things.
好的。
Okay.
还有你妈妈，你找到了录音室在哪里，所以你就出现了。
And your mom, you figured out where recording studios are, so you're showing up.
对我来说，转折点是第一种社交媒体出现的时候。
And the turning point for me is the first form of social media came out.
知道吗？
K?
我接触到的第一种社交媒体叫Myspace。
And it was called well, the first form that I got was called Myspace.
嗯。
Mhmm.
对吧？
Okay?
然后我就注册了Myspace。
And I got on Myspace.
对。
Okay.
所以，还是那句话，你得主动出现。
So, again, showing up.
是的。
Yes.
让自己进入那个圈子。
Putting yourself in the room.
这些可以是实体的场合。
These can be real rooms.
对。
Yes.
也可以是线上的平台。
They can be digital rooms.
对。
Yep.
而且那时候我们连电脑都没有。
And we didn't even have a computer at this point.
所以我就在午休时间去图书馆上网，想尽一切办法跟人联系。
So I would do it at lunchtime in the library, and I would do anything I could to get in touch with people.
我做的第一件事就是给唱片公司打陌生电话。
So first thing I started doing is I would cold call record labels.
明白吗？
Okay?
比如说我打给Interscope唱片公司。
And let's say I was calling Interscope Records.
我会打电话过去说，Jimmy Ivein在吗？
I would call up and I'd say, is Jimmy Ivein there?
Jimmy Ivein是Interscope唱片公司的老板，我会这么说。
Jimmy Ivein ran Interscope Records, I'd say.
请问吉米·艾文在吗？
Is Jimmy Ivein there?
然后我会去查史努比狗狗或图帕克·沙库尔的信息。
And then I would look up who Snoop Dogg or Tupac Shkur.
我会去查他们的律师是谁。
I'd look up who their lawyer was.
我会在网上查，然后打电话说，是的。
I'd look up online, and then I'd call and I'd say, yes.
我是代表杰斯打电话的。
I'm I'm I'm calling on behalf of Jay Z.
我是迈克尔·吉多。
This is Michael Guido.
我们需要马上和吉米通话。
We need to speak to, you know, Jimmy immediately.
你知道，一半的时候他们不会转接，但偶尔，我会被接通。
And, you know, half the time they wouldn't do it, but occasionally, I would get put through.
好的。
Okay.
然后我就被转接到公司总裁那里，我就说，哦，对不起。
So I'd be put through to the president of the company, and I'd say, oh, I'm sorry.
这不是Michael Vito。
This isn't Michael Vito.
我只是想让你知道我是Benny Blanco。
I just wanna let you know this is Benny Blanco.
我有很多音乐想给你看，等等等等。
I have all this music I wanna show you, blah blah blah.
然后我就被挂电话了。
And I get hung up on.
但后来，我开始和那些实习生、接电话的人混熟了。
And but eventually, I started becoming friendly with the interns, with the people that answered the phone.
我一直保持着这些关系，直到现在——我的意思是，我的经纪人，是我16岁时认识的，那时候我就在搞这些恶作剧，给别人打工、当实习生，二十多年过去了，我现在还和他在一起。
And I kept those relationships up till this I mean, my manager my manager of my career is a person I met when I was 16 years old doing all these same shenanigans, working for people, interning for people, and I still am with him twenty something years later.
而且很多我最初打电话联系的人，现在都成了公司的负责人，二十多年过去了，我和他们还保持着联系。
And a lot of those people I first called are now the heads of companies, and and I still have those relationships twenty something years later.
然后我就开始了。
And I started.
我当时完全不知道自己在做什么，但我还是起床，醒来，然后做同样的事情。
I had no idea what I was doing, but I got up, I woke up, and I did the same thing in you.
我下了床，每天就这样开始。
I got out of bed, and I just start every day myself.
我尽量让每一天都过得最好。
I try to make every day the best day I can for that day.
对吧？
Okay?
如果你不起床，你就不会进步。
And the only way you don't get better is if you don't get out of bed.
而起床不仅仅是指从床上起来。
And getting out of bed doesn't just mean getting out of bed.
起床意味着去迎接和挑战这一天。
Getting out of bed means going and attacking the day.
只要你开始积极面对这一天，一切都会变得更好。
And as long as you start attacking the day, it will get better.
Benny，你真是状态火热，我都不想打断你，但我得暂停一下，让我们听听赞助商的广告。
Benny, you are on a roll, and I don't even want to stop you, but I have to hit pause so we can hear a word from our sponsors.
别走开，因为稍后Benny会告诉你一个你需要列出的特定清单，用来找到合适的人，这正是他找到Selena Gomez的方法。
And don't go anywhere because a little later, Benny is going to tell you about a specific list that you need to make to find the right person, which is exactly how he found Selena Gomez.
Benny和我会在短暂休息后等你，所以请继续收听。
Benny and I will be waiting for you after this short break, so stay with us.
你在哪个方面特别挣扎？
Where's one area where you really struggle?
我能出门散步。
I can get out the door for a walk.
我能喝够水。
I can drink my water.
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我把睡眠放在第一位。
I prioritize sleep.
天哪，我在厨房这块就完全不行了。
Oh my gosh, it falls apart for me in the kitchen.
但有一件事彻底改变了我。
But here's what changed everything for me.
那就是一款叫Pure Genius Protein的蛋白质饮品。
It's a protein shot called Pure Genius Protein.
它让我的生活、健康和专注力都变得更好了，好到我决定参与进来，成了联合创始人。
It changed my life and health and focus for the better so much so, I decided to get involved and I became a co founder.
Pure Genius Protein饮品现在含有五克纤维，这很重要，因为超过95%的美国人没有摄入我们每天应该吃的推荐量。
Pure Genius Protein shots now have five grams of fiber, and that's enormous because over 95% of Americans don't get the daily recommended amount that you and I are supposed to be eating.
一瓶就有20克优质蛋白质、五克纤维，而且只有100卡路里。
One shot, 20 grams of high quality protein, five grams of fiber, only 100 calories.
在puregeniusprotein.com使用优惠码MEL10，可以享受10%的折扣。
Use code MEL10 at puregeniusprotein.com for 10% off.
蛋白质和纤维，每支不到三美元。
Protein and fiber for less than three dollars a shot.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，本尼·布兰科来到了我们在波士顿的演播室。
Today, Benny Blanco is here in our Boston studios.
他来这里只有一个原因。
He's come here for one reason.
他是为你而来的。
He's come here for you.
他在这里是为了激励你，教你如何克服恐惧、消除自我怀疑，并开始创造你应得的生活。
He is here to inspire you and to teach you how to overcome fear, erase self doubt, and get started creating the life that you deserve.
本尼，接下来我想聊的是这个。
Benny, here's where I wanna go next.
我想给你读一段，这本书肯定会成为超级畅销书。
I wanna read to you from what is going to be a blockbuster bestseller.
这本书，我特别喜欢这个颜色。
This book, I love the color.
谢谢。
Thank you.
这是第72页。
This is page 72.
好的。
Okay.
这里有个有趣的事实。
Here's a fun fact.
你永远不会觉得自己准备好了才开始。
You're never going to feel ready to start.
如果你一直等着，直到觉得自己准备好了，或者有足够的经验，或者知道一切是怎么回事，那我五年后再来看你，你还会站在原地，一步都没动。
If you wait around until you feel prepared or like you have enough experience or like you know how it all works, I will come back to check on you in five years, and you will still be standing exactly where you are right now.
成功不是担心因为不完全了解自己在做什么而必然出现的失败。
Success is not worrying about the inevitable failure that comes from not totally knowing what you're doing.
成功是带着如此坚定的信念全力以赴，让所有人都相信你，包括你自己，然后放手一搏。
It's about going all in with so much conviction that everyone believes you, including yourself, then rolling the dice.
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?
每次要做某件事之前，我都会感到害怕。
Right before I do something, I get scared.
但那种害怕不一样。
But it's a different type of scared.
我不是害怕去做这件事。
I'm not scared to do it.
事情就要发生了。
It's about to happen.
事情就要发生了。
It's about to happen.
然后有那么一刻，你会想，我想让所有人都知道这件事吗？
And there's that moment where you go, do I want everyone to know this?
我想让所有人都知道这件事吗？
Do I want everyone to know this?
管他呢。
Do I fuck it.
然后你就直接去做了。
And then you just go for it.
而且我总会去尝试，因为如果我相信它，如果我能把梦想卖给自己和身边的人，它就会开始朝你的方向倾斜。
And I'm always gonna go for it because if I believe it, if I can sell a dream to myself and to the people around me, it's just gonna start swaying in your direction.
就像重力会拉一样。
Like the gravity will pull.
如果你有能量站在你这边，并且你在向前推进，即使有些东西在把你往后推，最终你也能突破。
If you have the energy on your side and you're moving forward, even if some things are pushing you back, eventually you're gonna be able to push through.
而大多数人只是觉得迈出第一步很难。
And it's just most people find it hard to do that first push.
而且很多人都不相信自己。
And a lot of people don't believe in themselves.
那你会对那些正在听的人说什么呢，比如他们心里想，我也想要那样。
Well, what would you say to the person who's listening like, I want that.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
但我不相信自己。
And I don't believe in myself.
也许他们尝试了一段时间后被拒绝了。
Maybe they've been rejected after trying for a little bit.
时间拖得太久了。
It's taking too long.
所以那种自我怀疑真的很强烈。
And so that self doubt is really there.
你会对正在听的人说什么呢？他们可能会说，Benny，我想要那个，但我不知道该怎么开始相信自己。
What would you say to the person who's listening who's like, Benny, I want that, but I don't know how to start believing in myself.
被拒绝的伤害有多大？
How bad did the rejection hurt?
好的。
Okay.
这是我想知道的第一个问题。
That's first one I wanna know.
被拒绝有多难受？
How bad was it being rejected?
是不是很糟糕？
Is it bad?
是的。
Yeah.
小时候你约别人出去，被拒绝了，你会尴尬几个小时。
You ask someone out when you're a kid and they say no, and you're embarrassed for a few hours.
然后第二天你回到学校，根本没人关心这事儿，因为又有新的人被表白然后被拒绝了。
And then you come back to school the next day and nobody gives a shit because a new person got asked out and rejected.
所以首先你得搞清楚，被拒绝到底有多痛。
So first you gotta know how bad did it hurt to be rejected.
我敢保证，你现在坐在这儿，心里正跟自己说，其实没那么糟。
I promise you, you're sitting there, you're talking to yourself right now, and you're saying it's not that bad in your head.
你想说它更糟。
You wanna say it's worse.
你特别想说，那件事太可怕了，我十六年都起不了床。
You really wanna say, it was this terrible thing, and I couldn't get out of bed for sixteen year.
不。
No.
其实没那么糟。
It's it wasn't that bad.
真的没那么糟。
It wasn't that bad.
确实挺难受的。
It it sucked.
但也就难受那么一下子。
It sucked for a second.
其实没那么糟糕。
It wasn't that bad.
对吧。
Okay.
所以被拒绝没那么严重。
So rejection's not that bad.
那这就不是你的借口了。
So that's not your excuse.
好。
Okay.
那这件事会很难吗？
Is it gonna be hard?
对。
Yeah.
确实会很难。
It's gonna be hard.
什么？
What?
你难道想一上来就成为全世界最厉害的人吗？
You you just wanna, like, immediately be the best at something in the world?
不是。
No.
你得慢慢努力，会失败，会遇到很多障碍，会有很多次想放弃的时候，但你不能放弃，因为你知道一旦放弃了，就等于把机会让给了那些跟你做同样事情的人，让他们轻松超过你。
You're gonna have to work at it, and you're gonna fail, and you're gonna have so many barriers, and you're gonna have so many times where you wanna quit, but you're not gonna because you know that if you do quit, you're just giving space for that other person trying the same thing to just get right ahead of you.
天哪。
Oh, god.
说得真好。
That's a good one.
对。
Yeah.
就是说，你一放弃，其实就
That the second you quit, you actually just
给别人开了门。
Open the door for someone else.
我觉得你说的这个很有意思，因为很多人觉得得到自己想要的东西的路应该或者会比自己想的容易，而且确实会容易。
I think what you're talking about is really interesting because a lot of people believe that the path to getting what they want should or will be easier than it needs to be, and it will be.
但咱们来聊聊这个。
But let's talk about that.
其实
It's
会更难。
gonna be harder.
对，就是会比你想的难得多。
Yeah, like it's gonna be so much harder than you think it is.
你会比这辈子任何时候都更拼命地工作，你会想放弃的。
You're gonna work harder than you've ever worked in your life, you're gonna wanna quit.
我无时无刻不想放弃。
I wanna quit all the time.
我累坏了。
I'm exhausted.
我太累了。
I'm tired.
其实，我们都累。
Like, we're all tired.
每个人都很累。
Everyone is tired.
我看着你，你累吗？
I'm looking at the are you tired?
是的。
Yes.
你不知道，我知道你在摇头。
You don't I know you're shaking your head.
是的。
Yes.
我们都累了。
We're all tired.
每个人都很累。
Everyone is tired.
我在做一件我世上最爱的事情，但我还是累。
I'm tired doing a thing that I love more than anything in the world.
但我累是因为我投入了大量时间，我在做事，你知道，有时候你看。
But I'm tired because I'm putting in the hours and I'm doing and, you know, sometimes look.
我跟你说实话。
I'll be for real with you.
有时候我工作了一整天。
Sometimes I've been working all day.
对吧？
Okay?
然后我终于到家了。
And I finally get home.
我已经累得不行了。
I'm exhausted.
都八点了。
It's eight.
我还得做饭。
I gotta make dinner.
赛琳娜在等我。
Selena's waiting for me.
她一直等着吃饭呢。
She's been waiting to eat.
但有时候我回到家，已经累得筋疲力尽了。
And yet sometimes I come home and I'm exhausted.
我知道我得把这份精力给她，因为她没有参与我白天的事。
And I know I have to give that to her because she wasn't part of that day.
她的这一天，现在才刚开始，和我一起。
Her day is just starting now with me.
成功的表现形式有很多种。
Success comes in so many different forms.
如果我回到家，能听她讲完她的一天，我们能在更深层次上交流，那也是一种成功。
And if I get to come home and I listen to everything she's saying and she tells me about her whole day and we get to connect on a deeper level, like, that's another sign of success.
我没有失败。
I didn't fail.
我成功了。
I succeeded.
你明白吗？
You know?
嗯，你刚才说的真的让我很有感触。
Well, I really got something out of what you just said.
所以我想在这里停留一会儿。
So I wanna hover right here for a minute.
因为你说了一些我从未以那种方式想过的话，就是当你经过漫长而压力重重的一天回到家，走进门时，你的妻子塞琳娜在那里，她和你的一天才刚刚开始。
Because you said something that has never quite hit me that way, which is when you get home after a long stressful day and you are walking in and your wife Selena's there, her day with you is just starting.
而且
And
和克里斯在一起三十二年之后，我可以告诉你，那个可怜的男人通常得到的是我最糟糕的一面，尽管他是我在这个世界上最喜欢的人，理应得到最好的。
after being with Chris for thirty two years, I will tell you that poor man typically gets the worst of me, even though he is my favorite person in the world and deserves the best.
但我从未想过这样来理解：你的孩子、配偶、朋友、兄弟或妈妈，当你一天结束时走进门，他们的一天是和你一起开始的。
But I had never thought about framing it as your kids or your spouse or your friend or your brother or your mom, their day is starting with you when you walk in at the end of the day.
当然。
Of course.
当然。
Of course.
你看。
Look.
你不可能每次都赢，而且我会一直竞争到最后。
You're not gonna win every time, and I'm competitive until the thing's over.
比如说，如果我参加一场比赛，想让一首歌成为第一名，或者让书登上排行榜第一。
Like, let's say I'm in a race to get a song number one or to get number one on the book charts.
我会全力以赴，拼尽全力，做我能做的一切。
I'm gonna give it my all, and I'm gonna be competitive as shit and do everything I can.
或者如果我想得到那份工作，我也会尽我所能。
Or if I wanna get that job, I'm gonna do everything I can.
然后到最后，不管我得到没有，那就是结束了。
And then at the end, whether I get it or not, that's the end.
我已经尽了最大的努力。
I did my absolute hardest.
我投入了所有我能投入的精力，我很开心。
I put all the effort I could possibly do into it, and I'm happy.
对我来说，这就是成功。
That's success to me.
不管从技术上来说算不算失败，对我来说那依然是成功。
Whether it's technically a failure or not, that is still success to me.
这就是成功的定义。
That is the definition.
有个问题，如果你全力以赴去做某件事，但结果没成呢？
A trick, like, if you put your all into something and then it doesn't happen?
对。
Yeah.
有没有什么办法能让你从没成这件事里抽离出来？
Is there a way you unhook yourself from the fact that it didn't happen?
有。
Yeah.
我会说，你还能
I say, what else could you
做什么呢？
have done?
我只有在没尽力的时候才会生自己的气。
I only am mad at myself if I didn't do all the things.
有时候事情就是不成。
Sometimes things don't work.
有时候就是时机不对，地方不对。
Sometimes it's not the right time, not the right place.
我不会放弃那份热情，但可能得回到起点，重新想想，好吧。
I'm not gonna give up on that passion, but I might have to go back to the drawing board and say, okay.
这次为什么没成？
How did this not work?
这次我能做点什么不一样的，让它对我有用？
Like, what can I do differently this time to make this work for me?
而且有时候，成功并不意味着排行榜第一。
And sometimes working doesn't mean being number one on the chart.
比如，对我来说，知道这引起了大家的共鸣，知道这个或那个，就够了。
Like, for me to know that this resonated with people, for me to know this or that.
如果我做了所有我能做的事，那就完整了。
And if I did everything I possibly could do, it's complete.
而唯一能让它一直失败、无法翻转为成功的情况，就是我没有从失败中吸取教训。
And the only way that stays a failure and doesn't get flipped into a success is if I didn't learn from what happened during that failure.
Benny，我想和你聊的是，不去做这件事也同样很难。
What I wanted to unpack with you, Benny, is the fact that it is also hard to not do it.
坐在自我怀疑里很难。
It is hard to sit in the self doubt.
说出那些“如果”很难。
It is hard to say all the what ifs.
想着你本可以做的所有事情，看着别人都在做，然后某刻意识到，做或者不做都很难。
Is hard to think about all the things you could be doing and watching watching everybody else do it, and at some point, understanding that either one doing it
对，是的。
Oh, yeah.
或者不做也很难。
Or not doing it is hard.
天哪。
Oh my god.
两种都很难受。
They're both painful.
生活中总会有难的时候。
Everything in life is gonna be hard at some point.
事情就是这样。
That's just how it works.
世界上最好的东西。
The best things in the world.
你说你有孩子。
You say you have a kid.
你爱你的孩子。
You love your kid.
总会有特别难的时候。
Something's gonna be fucking hard.
你有段感情。
You have a relationship.
你爱着对方，我不在乎这是不是世界上最好的感情。
You love I don't care if it's the best relationship in the world.
这很难，因为两个人要磨合，而两个人有着完全不同的生活，他们必须共存并一起生活。
It's hard because two people are fitting together and two people have completely different lives and they have to coexist and live together.
比如说你为别人工作。
Let's say you're working for someone.
这肯定会很难，因为你得为上面那个人做事。
It's gonna be hard because you're gonna have to do things for that person above you.
假设你上面那个人今天心情很糟，把气撒在你身上。
Let's say that person above you is having a shitty day and they're taking it out on you.
就像，这肯定会很难。
Like, it's gonna be hard.
所有事情都会很难。
It's all gonna be hard.
所以你的观点很到位，因为如果做什么都难，那至少选个能让你在某些方面轻松点的事，而不是一直困在痛苦的坑里。
So your point's perfect because it's like, if it's all gonna be hard, at least do something that's gonna have some relief somewhere rather than just sitting in a hole that's always gonna be a hole of misery.
谢谢你这么说。
Thank you for saying that.
我还有好多问题想问你。
I have so many more things I wanna ask you.
所以接下来我们这样安排。
So here's what we're gonna do.
Benny，我们先暂停一下录音。
Benny, we're gonna hit pause on this recording.
我们让赞助商分享几句精彩的话，然后我会给你一个机会，让你把一些Benny Blanco分享给你身边的人。
We're gonna let our sponsors share a few amazing words, and I'm gonna give you a chance to share a little Benny Blanco with the people in your life.
但你千万别走开。
But don't you dare go anywhere.
Benny和我在这段短暂休息后等你回来。
Benny and I will be waiting for you after this short break.
别走开。
Stay with us.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友，梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend, Mel Robbins.
今天，我和你们一起，和获得12次格莱美提名的制作人兼词曲作者本尼·布兰科聊天。
And today, you and I are hanging out with 12 time Grammy nominated producer and songwriter, Benny Blanco.
我们在波士顿的录音室里，和你们一起聊失败、消除自我怀疑，以及开始行动的重要性。
We are talking in our Boston studios with you all about failure and erasing self doubt and the importance of starting.
本尼，我们直接继续吧。
So Benny, let's just jump right back in.
你非常坦诚地分享了过去十五年里一直有的一个恐惧。
You're very open about a fear that you've had for the last fifteen years.
你能跟我们聊聊这个吗？
Can you talk to us about it?
你克服的这个大恐惧是什么？
What is this big fear that you got over?
我不会说克服了。
I wouldn't say got over.
好吧。
Okay.
但也可以这么说。
But okay.
那是2009年，我在一架飞机上。
So I was on an airplane in 2009.
我上了飞机。
So I get on the plane.
飞机马上就飞得很糟糕。
My plane instantly is a terrible flight.
简直不能再糟了。
Like, it couldn't be worse.
就是那种连厕所都不让上的航班。
It's like one of those flights where no one's allowed to go to the bathroom.
连饮料都没有。
There's no drinks.
什么都没有。
No anything.
那就是危险的信号。
That's the sign that that things are dangerous.
当他们把推车收起来的时候。
When they go put the cart on
嗯，他们一开始把推车放上去，结果它从上面滑下来了。
the Well, they had it up at the beginning, and it flew down the thing.
所以气氛很紧张。
So it's tense.
下了飞机，又上了另一架，就这么大点的飞机。
So get off the plane, get on another plane that's like this big.
而且我还要转机。
And and I'm connecting.
就像我和三个朋友一起，我都能闻到飞行员午饭吃了什么。
It's like me and my three friends, and I can like smell what the pilot had for lunch.
然后我又坐上了一趟糟糕的航班。
And I am on another bad flight.
然后我告诉我经理，我说，我不知道我能不能飞回家。
And then I tell my manager, I say, I don't know if I can fly home.
我记得我后来坐火车回家的。
And I remember I took a train home.
所以我从佛罗里达坐火车回了纽约。
So I took a train back to New York from
佛罗里达。
Florida.
对。
Yeah.
所以我就觉得，哎呀，真是太烦了。
So and I was like, oh, it was so annoying.
但后来我回到家，又飞了几次。
But then I get home, and I fly again a few times.
我记得那时候我在伦敦有个女朋友。
I remember I had a girlfriend at the time in London.
我要去看她。
I'm going to see her.
没事。
It's okay.
就是，我没事，但我真的特别紧张。
Like, I'm okay, but I'm, like, really on edge.
就是，每次有一点颠簸，我就很紧张。
Like, every little bump is, like, making me nervous.
回家路上，那是以前的事了，我不知道现在是不是还这样，就是电视是从座位旁边的那个东西里伸出来的那种。
On the way home, this was back in the day, I don't even know if it's like this anymore, where like your TV came out of like a thing next to the rest or whatever.
我记得我在那上面，我们颠了一下，我的电视就飞出去了。
And I remember I'm on there, we hit a bump, and my TV thing just flies off.
我当时就想，我再也不坐飞机了。
And I'm like, I'm never flying again.
那时候，先是，我哥第一次开车带我横穿全国，然后我朋友们也这么做了。
At this point, first, like, my brother drives me across country for the first time, and then my friends did.
然后我坐火车，然后坐大巴，然后开始坐旅游大巴。
Then I took a train, then I took a bus, then I started taking a tour bus.
从那以后我真的几乎再也没坐过飞机。
And I really never flew again really after that.
我
I
多久？
For how long?
2009年之后我坐过几次飞机，2018年坐了一次，然后2019年坐了一次，再然后就是一两周前或者一个月前坐了一次。
I flew a handful of times after 2009, and I flew once in 2018, then I flew once in, like, 2019, and then I flew once, like, a week or two ago or, like, a month ago.
真的吗？
Really?
一两个月前我为了这本书飞了一次，因为我想，如果我要谈论失败和成功以及如何克服它们，我怎么能不坐飞机呢？
I flew a month or two ago for this book because I said, if I'm talking about failures and successes and coming over them, how could I not get on a plane?
我当时很害怕，但我没有按贪睡按钮。
And I was scared, but I didn't hit the snooze button.
我醒了。
I woke up.
我迎接新的一天，上了飞机，然后去吃了玉米饼。
I attacked the day, and I got on the plane, and then I went and I ate tacos.
但我很害怕。
But I was scared.
我很害怕，但我做到了。
I was scared, but I did it.
我一直在说服自己我会做到的。
I was convincing myself that I was gonna do it.
我不知道我是不是永远都好了。
I don't know if I'm cured forever.
我还是很害怕，但我做到了。
I was still very scared, but I did it.
然后我要告诉你一些事。
And then I'll tell you something.
我要给你讲几个故事。
I'll tell you a few stories.
有一次，我和艾德·希兰正在完成《Divide》专辑。
One time, me and Ed Sheeran were finishing the Divide album.
对吧？
Okay?
那张专辑里有《Shape of You》、《Perfect》、《Castle on the Hill》，好多大热歌曲。
And that's like his album with Shape of You, Perfect, Castle on the Hill, like so many big songs.
他说他想在老家萨福克郡完成这张专辑，那地方在英格兰的海边。
And he said, I wanna finish the album in my hometown in Suffolk, is on, you know, the coast of England.
所以我就说，艾德，我我我不坐飞机。
So I said, Ed, I I I don't fly.
他知道我不坐飞机，然后他说，别这样，兄弟。
He knew I didn't fly, and he said, come on, man.
就坐一次飞机吧。
Just fly.
我说，我真的不能坐飞机。
And I said, I can't fly.
他说，那要不我们坐船去？
And he said, well, what if we take a boat?
于是我们从纽约坐船到伦敦，花了七天半。
So we took a boat from New York City to London, and it was seven and a half days.
我们还在船上看了《泰坦尼克号》，
And we watched the Titanic on the
就当是惩罚自己了。
boat while cut off the for punishment.
而且我们其实在船上完成了专辑的大部分制作。
And we made we actually made a lot of the album on the boat.
关于整个经历，有一部纪录片已经出来了。
There's a documentary out about the whole experience.
我真是疯了。
And I'm crazy.
我想证明我能做到，因为我觉得我得言行一致。
And I wanted to prove I could do this because I like I have to practice what I preach.
但是，是的，这件事还是让我心有余悸。
But, yeah, it still haunts me.
现在依然很难。
It's still hard.
我还是做到了，但过程很艰难。
It's still I did it, but it was tough.
真的很难，而且我还得再来一次。
It was really hard, and I'm gonna have to do it again.
不过，是的，几周后我真的要再坐船去欧洲。
But, yeah, I'm literally taking a boat in a few weeks to Europe again.
又去？
Again?
又去。
Again.
知道那种恐惧在阻止你做出某些决定，你是什么感觉？
How does it feel to know that that fear is stopping you from making certain decisions?
它不会阻止我做决定，因为我工作太努力了，我必须找到办法去做。
It doesn't stop me from making decisions because I work so hard that I have to find a way to do it.
所以我总能到达我需要去的任何目的地。
So I still get to whatever destination I need to.
不过，是的，这挺蠢的。
But, yeah, it's stupid.
你是在开玩笑吗？
Are you kidding me?
这个嘛，其实不傻，因为它是真实存在的。
It's Well, it's not stupid because it's very real.
这真的很傻。
It's very stupid.
但它确实很真实。
It doesn't But it's very real.
傻和真实并不冲突，但它就是傻。
Stupid and real don't don't mean like, it's it's stupid.
而且有时候，听我说，我不是说你必须完美。
And sometimes look, I'm not saying you have to be perfect.
我是最不完美的那个。
I am the furthest version from perfect that there is.
我经常犯错。
I mess up constantly.
我还是那个会走进去说些话的人。
I'm the same guy who will go in, and I'll say something.
我会说，哦，我为什么那么说？
I'll say, oh, why did I say that?
那太蠢了。
That was so stupid.
我不该那么说的。
I shouldn't say that.
我仍然有冒名顶替综合症。
I still have impostor syndrome.
你？
You?
是的。
I do.
男人？
Men?
我仍然有。
I still do.
比如说，把你放到你上次有冒名顶替综合征的那个场景里。
Like, put me at the scene when the last time you had impostor syndrome.
就是我今天走进这里的时候。
When I walked in here today.
真的吗？
Really?
我是说，当我走进来，看到这里有一大群人，我第一反应就是，哦，为什么这些人都是为我来的？
I'm saying when I walked in and there was a bunch of people in here, the first thing that I said, I said, oh, why are all these people here for me?
这就像，他们不应该去做自己的事情吗？
This is like, shouldn't they just do their stuff?
然后我就开始觉得尴尬了。
And I started getting embarrassed.
有时候我会想，每次我做这种事情的时候，我都会想，为什么有人会想听我说的话呢？
And sometimes I'll be like, always when I'm doing one of these things, I'm like, well, why does a person wanna listen to what I have to say?
我觉得这也是帮助我走到今天这一步的一部分原因。
And I think that's also part of what helped me get to where I am today.
我只是想让大家真正明白，我和Mel坐在这里说‘你要做这个，你要做那个’很容易。
I just want people to really know, like, it's very easy for me and Mel to sit here and say like, you're gonna do this and you're gonna do that.
但我知道，我们自己也会有自我怀疑的时候。
But like I know for us, there's forms of self doubt.
有时候我们就是不想做。
There's times when we don't feel like doing it.
有时候我醒来会说，妈的，我今天干不了。
There's times when I wake up and I say, fuck, I can't do it today.
我想说的是，我觉得有时候人们开始做一件事，然后遇到挫折，就会觉得，哦，已经完了。
The point I'm trying to make is I feel like sometimes people will start what they're doing, and then they'll regress, and they'll have that moment, and they'll say, oh, it's already gone.
我停了。
I stopped.
我做不到。
I can't do it.
但事实并非如此。
And it's not true.
这不是真的。
It's not true.
你只需要站起来，明天加倍努力。
You're just gonna get up, and you're gonna work twice as hard tomorrow.
事情不会总是一帆风顺，这没关系。
It's not always perfect, and that's okay.
失败是可以的，为失败感到沮丧也是可以的。
And it's okay to fail, and it's okay to be bummed about failing too.
但在你心里，你仍然要明白，今天我没能做到。
But in the back of your head, you still gotta be like, today, I couldn't do it.
我没能坚持下去。
I couldn't fight.
我想坚持的。
I wanted to.
但我没能做到。
I couldn't do it.
明天我要拼命努力三倍。
And tomorrow, I'm gonna work fucking three times as hard.
我想确保你在听的时候，真的听到了Benny刚才解释的一个非常重要的点，那就是关于成功、创造你想要的生活，或者追求你真正觉得有使命感的那些目标，关键技能不是说你只要开始并且坚持下去，然后突然就变得容易了。
I wanna make sure as you're listening, you really heard something really important that Benny just explained, which is when it comes to success and creating the life that you want, or going after goals that you really feel called to go after, the skill is not that you just start and you keep going, and then suddenly it gets easier.
真正能创造你想要的东西的技能，是几十年如一日地醒来，即使感觉不想做，即使事情一直很难，即使你一直怀疑自己在做什么，而技能就在于无论如何都要出现。
The actual skill that creates the things that you want is continuing to wake up for decades and not feel like it, continuing to have it be really hard, continuing to question what you're doing, and the skill becomes showing up anyway.
我大概听出你的意思了。
That's what I kinda hear you saying.
就是说，不是只要你持续出现，持续做音乐，或者持续发视频，或者持续努力减肥，事情就会变得更容易，因为我觉得不会。
That it's not about that if you just keep showing up, and you just keep producing the music, or you just keep posting the videos, or you just keep trying to lose the weight, that it's gonna get any easier, because I don't think it does.
对。
No.
这是人们最大的误解。
That's people's biggest misconception.
来，我给你讲个故事。
Look, I'll tell you a story.
给我讲个故事吧。
Tell me a story.
大概是2015年吧。
The year is maybe 2015.
我也不太记得了。
I don't even know.
我对年份特别不敏感。
I'm so bad with years.
我当时是个很成功的制作人和词曲作者，而且我能——
I was a really successful producer and songwriter, and I Can
你能先停一下再讲故事吗？
can you stop before you tell the story?
你能先跟听众解释一下，那意味着什么吗？
Can you just tell the person who's listening, like, what does that mean?
比如，你签第一份唱片合约的时候多大？
Like, how old were you when you signed your first record deal?
我签第一份唱片合约的时候是18岁。
Well, I signed my first record deal when I was seven 18.
七岁？
Seven?
18岁。
18.
好的。
Okay.
18岁。
18.
我的第一份真正的合约。
My first like real real one.
基本上，我开始为别人写歌。
Basically, I started writing songs for other people.
明白吗？
Okay?
我想我在这方面挺有天赋的。
I had a knack for it, I guess.
而且我差不多创作了某个时代孩子们童年的大部分背景音乐。
And I was able to create most of, like, the soundtrack for, like, kid's childhood from a certain era.
我讨厌谈论自己。
I hate talking about myself.
但说白了，很多年里我写的歌大部分都霸占着排行榜榜首。
But for all intents and purposes, I was at the top of the charts for many, many years for writing most of the popular songs at any given
给人家一点提示吧，因为可能有人不知道你在说什么。
give the person a couple like, because somebody might not know what you're talking about.
等等。
Hold on.
你说的不会是儿童合唱团那种吧？
I'm You're gonna not talking about kids bop.
不是。
No.
各位，这太尴尬了，因为我总是忘。
I'm gonna I'm guys, this this is so embarrassing just because I always forget.
我干脆直接查一下维基百科上关于我的词条。
I'm gonna I'm gonna literally Wikipedia myself.
我念几条。
I'll read a few.
凯蒂·佩里的《我吻了一个女孩》。
Katy Perry, I kissed a girl.
凯蒂·佩里的《忽冷忽热》。
Katy Perry, hot and cold.
布兰妮·斯皮尔斯的《马戏团》。
Britney Spears, Circus.
凯莎的《TikTok》。
Kesha's TikTok.
凯莎的《废话连篇》。
Kesha's blah blah blah.
Kesha的《你的爱是我的药》。
Kesha's, your love is my drug.
Katy Perry的《加州女孩》。
Katy Perry's California girls.
Katy Perry的《少年梦》。
Katy Perry's teenage dream.
Rihanna的《钻石》，Maroon 5的《像贾格尔一样舞动》，Maroon 5的《付费电话》，Maroon 5的《地图》，Maroon 5的《动物》，Ed Sheeran的《别》，Ed Sheeran的整张《÷》专辑。
Rihanna, diamonds, maroon five, moves like jagger, maroon five, payphone, maroon five maps, maroon five animals, Ed Sheeran's don't, Ed Sheeran's entire divide album.
Justin Bieber的《爱自己》。
Justin Bieber's love yourself.
Major Lazer的《冷水》。
Major Lazer's cold water.
Shawn Mendes和Camila Cabello的《小姐》。
Senorita by Shawn Mendes and Camilla Cabello.
就这样，我，我，我说完了。
There I mean, I I don't I'm done.
太好了。
Great.
不。
No.
不。
No.
这个，嗯，提供了很好的背景。
That that, like, gives good context.
那我们现在回到故事上来。
So let's go back to the story now.
让我了解一下背景。
Let me get the context.
你说那是2015年左右。
You said it was, like, 2015.
就是这样。
Here's it.
那我们得再往前说了。
We're going even earlier then.
好的。
Okay.
太好了。
Great.
好。
Okay.
所以当时我的处境其实很好。
So I was really in a good position.
对吧？
Okay?
我取得了这么多成功，拿了这么多第一名，但想找理想的工作却很难。
I had all this success, all these number ones, and I was finding it hard to get the work I wanted.
我当时就想，这怎么这么难呢？
And I was like, why is this so difficult?
而且我还是遇到了同样的问题。
And I was, like, still running into the same problems.
我年轻的时候写这些歌时总想着，等我有了那么多热门歌曲，所有人都会来找我，但我还是遇到了同样的问题。
I always thought when I was younger and I was making these songs, oh, well, once I have all the hits, everyone's just gonna come to I was still running into the same problem.
说实话，情况甚至更糟，因为人们会觉得，你做的任何一首歌都必须是全世界最火的歌，因为他们期待的是那种超凡脱俗的作品。
And honestly, it was even worse because people were like, oh, well, you made any song you played them has to be the biggest song in the world because they're expecting something that's so larger than life.
我当时在和艾德·希兰一起巡演。
And I was on tour with Ed Sheeran.
对吧？
Okay?
《反叛者》刚上映，那是关于德瑞博士和吉米·艾欧文的纪录片。
And the defiant ones had just come out by doc it's a documentary with doctor Dre and Jimmy Iovine.
我记得和艾德·希兰一起坐在吉列体育场的后台，那是他第一次在体育场开演唱会。
And I remember sitting backstage at Gillette Stadium with Ed Sheeran, and it was his first time ever playing a stadium show.
我们当时在看《反叛者》，刚看完。
And we were watching Defiant Ones, and it just finished.
他站起来说，天哪，他们这辈子做了这么多事。
And he stood up, and he said, man, they did so much in their life.
我们他妈的在干什么？
What the fuck are we doing with our lives?
就在他说我们他妈的在干什么的时候，
And literally as he said, what the fuck are we doing with our lives?
有个人走到后台说，好了，艾德，
A man comes backstage and says, alright, Ed.
该你上场了。
You're on.
然后艾德就在七万五千人面前表演了。
And Ed went and played in front of 75,000 people.
我记得那之后我立刻给我经纪人打了电话。
And I remember right after that, I called my manager.
他就在外面，我十五岁就认识他了，我说，我们得做点不一样的事。
He's right outside, the guy I've known since I was 15, and I said, we gotta do something different.
没人拿走过我的音乐。
No one's taken my music.
艺术家们都在变。
The artists are changing.
这个想法不是说我自己发歌就行了。
That idea isn't I need to put out the music myself.
我得自己当唱片公司、当艺人、当发行方，什么都得自己来。
I need to be the record label, the artist, the publisher, everything.
就在两天前，我和艾德一起做了一首小样，那首小样就是《Eastside》这首歌的雏形。
And two days before, me and Ed had made a demo together, and the demo was the beginnings of a song called Eastside.
对吧？
Okay?
然后我告诉他，我说，嘿。
And I told him, I said, hey.
我觉得我真的很想把《Eastside》用在我的个人项目上。
I think I really wanna use East Side for my artist project.
我想成为一名艺人。
I wanna become an artist.
我以为Ed会说，哥们，你在说什么鬼话？
And I thought Ed was gonna say, dude, what the fuck are you talking about?
给我们写歌就行了。
Just make songs for us.
就这样。
That's it.
他看着我说，我真不敢相信你花了这么久才做这个决定。
And he looked at me and said, I can't believe it's taking you so long to do this.
你完全应该当艺人。
You should totally become an artist.
Ed让我去做。
Ed tells me to do it.
这首歌太棒了。
The song's amazing.
我太喜欢了。
I love it.
然后我说，等等。
Then I say, wait.
我觉得这首歌应该做成对唱。
I think this song should be a duet.
对吧？
Okay?
有一天我在家，正在录Halsey的歌。
And I'm at my house one day, and I'm recording Halsey.
我跟她说，我有一首和Ed一起做的歌，我想把它用在我的个人音乐项目里。
And I said, I got this song that I did with Ed, and I want it I'm making my own artist thing.
她听了就说，你要做个人音乐项目？
And she was like, you're making an artist project?
我以为她会说你在干什么呢。
And I thought it was like gonna be what are you doing?
她说，那太棒了。
She was like, that's awesome.
当然，我会做的。
Of course, I'll do it.
所以大概二十分钟内，她就录好了她的部分。
So within like twenty minutes, she does her verse on the song.
所以现在这首歌有一位歌手了。
So now I have one artist on the song.
我不知怎么联系上了Khalid，那时候他正火得不行。
I somehow get put in touch with Khalid at the time, and this is like he was really top of the charts at this point.
我跟他说，我有这首歌。
And I said, I have this song.
我想让你来唱。
I want you to be on it.
他说，那就来吧。
And he says, let's do it.
所以他就录了这首歌。
So he records the song.
好的。
Okay.
然后到了歌曲快要发布的时候，我把歌发回给Khalid。
Then we get to the point where the song's about to come out, and I send Khalid the song back.
他说，我讨厌我的声音。
And he said, I hate my vocals.
我必须重录，不然这首歌就不能发。
I have to redo it or the song can't come out.
我说，我们只剩一天了。
And I said, we got one more day.
这首歌必须送去母带处理。
The song has to be sent to master.
尽管困难重重，我们还是完成了。
With all odds stacked up against us, we get that done.
对吧？
Okay?
所以歌录好了。
So song is recorded.
完成了。
It's finished.
我说我们稳了。
I say we're home free.
一切都好。
Everything's good.
所有那些有权有势的人，唱片公司老板、经纪人，结果全搞砸了。
All the powers that be, all the label owners, the managers, it gets all fucked up.
歌不发了。
Song's not coming out anymore.
好。
K.
歌出不来了。
Song's not coming out.
我们又等了几个月。
We wait more months.
现在已经过了十个月了，你知道，本来事情应该要发生的。
Now we're ten months after, you know, things were gonna happen.
中间停了太多次，我终于快要放弃了。
So many start and stops, and I finally get to the point where I'm about to give up.
然后我接了一个电话。
And I have a call.
谈判中有人不肯让步，要么按他们的来，要么就算了，而且那个条件根本没法接受，我记得大家都说，我们已经尽力了。
Someone in the deal is not budging, and it's either this way or the highway, and it was something that was unworkable, and I remember everyone was like, we gave it our best shot.
我说，我再打一次电话试试。
I said, I'm gonna call one more time.
然后我就把这事给谈妥了。
And I smoothed the deal out.
我马上给所有相关人员打了电话。
Immediately called all my people.
大家都行动起来了。
Everyone did it.
我们终于把这首歌发出来了。
We finally get the song out.
对吧？
Okay?
歌一出来，我就觉得，走起。
Song comes out, and I'm like, let's go.
但好像没什么动静。
Doesn't really do anything.
就是有点起色，但也就那样，我就想，好吧。
Like, it's like going, but it's like, and I'm like, okay.
然后就开始慢慢涨起来了。
And then starts picking up a little bit.
好的。
Okay.
然后稍微多一点。
Then a little more.
再稍微多一点。
Then a little more.
这是电台历史上登顶耗时最长的歌曲。
And it was the longest climb to number one in radio history.
从垫底爬到榜首，花了前所未有的时间。
The longest it's ever taken for a song to get from the bottom to the top.
好的。
Okay.
现在我作为歌手有了第一首热门歌曲。
Now I have my first hit song as an artist.
我刚才讲的这个长故事，只是制作专辑过程中的一个故事而已。
Now that long story I took there, that was just one story in the process of making an album.
对你来说，你看到这首歌发布，然后取得了巨大的成功。
And to you, you saw this song come out, be incredibly successful.
你可能都没意识到它花了那么长时间才达到那个位置。
You probably didn't even realize that it took that long to get there.
你肯定不知道我为了促成这首歌，熬夜进行了多少谈话。
You definitely didn't realize all the conversations I had staying up, trying to get this song to happen.
我内心充满了自我怀疑。
I had so much self doubt.
我一直在质疑一切。
I was questioning it all the time.
我每时每刻都在质疑。
I was questioning every second of the way.
然后我终于做到了，我们成功了。
And then I got there, and we did it.
我本可以放弃，本可以按下贪睡按钮，本可以在我扔来扔去的那块板上看到失败写满的时候放弃。
And I could have given up, and I could have hit the snooze button, and I could have looked when failure was written all over that board that I threw around.
但我还是站了起来，继续做下去。
But I just got up and I kept doing it.
我也不知道自己为什么一直坚持。
And I don't know why I kept doing it.
哪怕不知道为什么要这么做，我还是坚持一步步往前走。
I kept putting my foot in front of the other even if I didn't know why I was doing it.
后来我们终于做到了，而且是一次又一次地实现。
And then we got there, and we did it, and we did it.
而那个在演出后台只是小小梦想的东西，成了我余生的全部。
And a thing that was just a little dream backstage at a show became the rest
我的人生。
of my life.
我太喜欢这个故事了。
I love the story so much.
其中一个原因是，随着这个看似持续了两年的项目一步步推进。
And one of the reasons why is because as you go along the trajectory of what sounded like almost a two year long project.
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