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嗨。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
恭喜你，刚刚点播的这段内容，正是你现在最需要听的。
Congratulations because you have just hit play on the exact thing you need to hear right now.
我不是在开玩笑。
I am not kidding.
如果你已经厌倦了光是想着自己想要什么，厌倦了光是谈论它，厌倦了看着别人过着你梦想的生活，那现在准备好行动吧。
If you are tired of thinking about what you want, if you're tired of talking about it, if you're tired of watching other people do the things you want to do in life, get ready.
因为今天这场对话，是专门为你准备的。
Because this conversation today, dedicated to you.
今天，你我之间不是聊天，而是行动。
Today, you and I are not talking, you're doing.
因为光说不练，毫无意义。
Because talk is cheap.
是时候别再找借口了，该动手做那些真正让你实现人生目标的事了。
And it's time to stop making excuses and start doing the work that you need to do to create what you want in your life.
别浪费你我的时间找借口了，这些理由我全听过，你马上要认识的那个人也听腻了。
And don't even waste your time or mine with the excuses because I heard them all and so has the person that you're about to meet.
我知道你觉得自己年纪太大了。
I know you're too old.
你太年轻了。
You're too young.
哦，我住的地方不对。
Oh, I don't live in the right place.
哦，我已经晚了。
Oh, I'm too late.
哦，我身边没有对的人。
Oh, I'm not surrounded by the right people.
别人早就开始做我想做的事了。
Oh, well, everybody else is already doing the thing that I wanna do.
哪里还有我的位置。
There's no room for me.
你难道不厌倦这些借口了吗？
Aren't you sick of these excuses?
当然厌倦了。
Of course you are.
等你听完今天这一期，你就不会再找借口了，而且你会明白，你配得上自己想要的成功。
And by the time you're done listening today, you're gonna be done making them and you're gonna also know that you deserve the success that you want.
今天的这期节目，是一份追梦的邀请。
Today's episode is an invitation to dream.
不只是做梦，而是要画出五彩斑斓的梦。
And not just dream, but dream in color.
放手去拼吧。
Really go for it.
别再说‘万一我失败了呢’。
To stop saying, what if I fail?
而是开始问，如果我成功了呢？
And start saying, what if I succeed?
我的意思是，就这么想。
I mean, that.
从今天起，你一定会成功，因为你将学到的都是来自真实经验的干货。
And after today, you will succeed because what you're gonna learn comes from real world experience.
在我们的波士顿演播室里，有一位在全世界最严酷、最竞争激烈的行业里打造了十亿美元事业的人。
In our Boston studios is someone who has built a billion dollar career in one of the toughest, most cutthroat industries on the planet.
我说的就是威尔·帕克。
I'm talking about Will Packer.
威尔是一位获奖无数的电影导演和好莱坞制片人，拥有十部票房冠军作品。
Will is an award winning filmmaker and Hollywood producer with 10 number one box office hits.
他的电影总票房已突破十亿美元，我一说出他制作的影片，你马上就能认出来，但你可能不知道的是。
His films have grossed over a billion dollars, and you are gonna know his films when I tell you what he has produced, but here's what you don't know.
威尔并不是出身富贵家庭。
Will didn't come from money.
他也没有人脉。
He didn't have connections.
但他这些年学会的，是如何培养一种不可阻挡的心态。
But what he's learned over the years is how to cultivate an unstoppable mindset.
我已经把他的《纽约时报》畅销书读了个遍。
Now I have devoured his New York Times bestselling book.
书里全是实用的建议和让人惊叹的故事，你一定会喜欢，这些故事恰恰证明了他待会要教你的每一句话都是真的。
It is packed with takeaways and the craziest stories that you're gonna love that prove the validity of everything that he is about to teach you today.
这期节目就是一堂关于如何建立坚定自信的课，尤其是当你身边没人相信你，连你自己都怀疑自己的时候。
This episode is a masterclass in building unshakable belief in yourself and your dreams, especially when no one else believes in you and even when you're not sure you believe in you.
所以坐稳了，Will 相信你一定能活出一部爆款人生，今天他会一步步带你走完他一路走来的那些关键经验。
So buckle up because Will believes you can create a blockbuster life, and today, he's gonna walk you step by step through the lessons he's learned as he's built his.
你好，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
今天这场对话，我真的特别期待。
I am so fired up for our conversation today.
很高兴你今天在这里。
I'm excited that you're here.
能和你一起度过这段时光，我感到特别荣幸。
It is always an honor to spend time and to be together.
如果你是第一次听这个播客，我想亲自欢迎你加入梅尔·罗宾斯播客的大家庭。
And if you're a new listener to the podcast, I wanted to personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
谢谢你来到这里。
Thank you for being here.
既然你今天特意抽出时间听这一期节目，那我知道一些关于你的事。
And because you made time to listen to this particular episode today, here's what I know about you.
我知道你不仅珍惜时间，更渴望拥有更多。
I know you're the kind of person who not only values your time, but that you're ready for something more.
你看到了自己更大的可能性，听完今天的对话，你会感谢现在的自己。
You see a bigger possibility for yourself and you're gonna be thanking yourself when you're done listening to the conversation today.
如果你是因为有人推荐才听到这期节目，那说明他们看到了你身上的潜力。
And if you're here right now because someone shared this episode with you, it means that they see something in you.
他们知道你有能力做得更好。
They know you're capable of more.
也许你一直缺的，就是一个对的人，带着对的建议和背景，愿意花时间帮你重新点燃内心的火焰。
And maybe all that's been missing is the right person with the right advice and the right background stepping in and taking the time to reignite that fire within you.
而今天，这一切就要发生了。
And that's exactly what's gonna happen today.
我特别激动要向你们介绍威尔·帕克。
I am so excited to introduce you to Will Packer.
威尔是一位打破纪录的好莱坞电影导演和制片人。
Will is a record breaking Hollywood filmmaker and producer.
他的电影票房总收益超过了十亿美元。
His movies, they've grossed more than $1,000,000,000 at the box office.
他有十部电影登上过票房冠军，包括《冲出康普顿》《闺蜜》《像男人一样思考》《踩踏舞》《夜校》和《一路狂奔》。
He has had 10 number one releases, including Straight Out of Compton, Girls Trip, Think Like a Man, Stomp The Yard, Night School, and Ride Along.
他还是《你不是比别人差》这本书的作者，一上市就登上了《纽约时报》畅销榜。
He also is the instant New York Times bestselling author of Who Better Than You?
健康自信与远大梦想的艺术
The Art of Healthy Arrogance and Dreaming Big.
Will 的这本书已经连续十周登上《纽约时报》畅销榜。
Now, Will's book has already been a New York Times bestseller for ten weeks.
奥普拉将它评为 2025 年最佳自助书籍之一。
Oprah named it one of the best self help books of 2025.
我觉得这是你读过最棒的思维类书籍之一。
I'm calling it one of the best mindset books you'll read.
我和团队一口气把他的书从头读到尾。
The team and I devoured his book cover to cover.
我特别喜欢这本书的一点是。
And here's what I love about it.
Will 不仅带你走进幕后，分享他作为电影人和制片人职业生涯中那些精彩的故事，还深入剖析了其中的宝贵经验。
Will not only takes you behind the scenes and tells you all these incredible stories and unpacks the lessons learned from his incredible career as a filmmaker and producer.
你会发现，凯文·哈特和 Will 合作的电影，比和任何其他制片人合作的都要多。
In fact, you're gonna learn that Kevin Hart has worked on more films with Will than any other producer.
当他深入分享职业生涯中的那些故事和心得时。
As he dives into the lessons and the stories behind his career.
你会听到一连串耳熟能详的名字，比如碧昂丝、保罗·沃克、蒂凡尼·哈迪斯、伊德里斯·艾尔巴、史蒂夫·哈维，这只是其中一部分。
You're gonna hear names like Beyonce, Paul Walker, Tiffany Haddish, Idris Elba, Steve Harvey, just to name a few.
我之所以请威尔来做这期节目，是因为他走到今天这一步所走过的路。
And the reason why I wanted to have Will on the podcast is because of the path that Will took in order to get where he is today.
威尔可不是在好莱坞长大的。
See, Will didn't grow up in Hollywood.
他家里既不富裕，也没有人脉。
He didn't have money or connections.
连纽约或洛杉矶他都没去过。
Heck, he wasn't even in New York or LA.
他这一生，所有人都低估过他，唯独他自己从没怀疑过自己。
He's been underestimated his entire life by everyone but one person, himself.
我说的是真的。
I kid you not.
你一听他说话，可能会觉得，他打出生起就对自己深信不疑？
When you start listening to him, you're gonna think, did he just come into the world believing in himself?
不是的。
No.
这份信心是他一路慢慢培养出来的，而他今天来，就是想教你怎么做。
It's something he cultivated along the way and he is here to teach you how to do the same thing.
所以我才特意请他来和你好好聊聊。
That's why I wanted him to spend time with you.
他不只是讲些故事，虽然其中不少确实精彩又出人意料。
And he's not just gonna tell stories, although some of them are pretty amazing and wild.
他真正想做的是，教你一些特别重要的东西。
He's actually here to teach you some really important things.
比如，在别人还没为你鼓掌之前，怎么先相信自己的价值。
Like how to believe in your worth before the world is clapping for you.
遇到拒绝后，怎么调整方向，继续往前走。
How to pivot after rejection and keep going.
如何在无人关注的时候依然坚持出现。
How to keep showing up during those periods when no one is watching.
如何停止空谈，真正开始行动。
And how to stop talking and finally start doing.
威尔会一再告诉你，你走进的每一个房间，只因你的存在而变得更好。
Will is going to tell you over and over and over that every single room that you walk into is better because you're in it.
等你听完，你真的会相信这一点。
And by the time you're done listening, you'll actually believe it.
那么不多说了，让我们热烈欢迎非凡的威尔·帕克登上《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》。
So without further ado, please help me welcome the extraordinary Will Packer to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
威尔·帕克在现场。
Will Packer in the house.
你来得太好了，我太兴奋了。
I am so excited you're here.
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢。
Thank you.
谢谢你抽出时间来参加。
Thank you for making
你开玩笑吧？
the You kidding me?
我很高兴能来这里。
I'm excited to be here.
这太棒了。
This is awesome.
能坐在这儿和你轻松地聊一聊，真的特别棒。
This is so very cool just sitting here being able to vibe with you.
你们团队太出色了，我特别期待今天和你聊的内容，能带给听众什么启发。
Your team is amazing and just I'm looking forward to conversation, what we can share with folks.
我其实也特别想知道，听了这期节目的人，还有他们转述给身边的人，会有什么改变。威尔，我得说，我一口气读完了你的书。
Well, I also can't wait to hear what happens in the person's life who's listening and to the people who they share this with because Will, I gotta tell you, I devoured your book.
我特别期待听听这些故事和其中的教训。
I cannot wait to unpack the stories and the lessons.
我想先请你直接对正在听的听众说几句话。
And I'd like to start by having you speak directly to the person who's listening.
是的。
Yeah.
告诉他们，如果采纳了你的经验，生活可能会有什么不同。
And tell them how their life might be different.
如果他们认真吸收你即将分享的一切——这些往往是靠碰壁才学到的。
If they take everything that you're about to share with us that you have learned, oftentimes the hard way.
对。
Yep.
如果他们真的把这些话放在心上，并付诸行动，生活会发生怎样的改变？
If they really take it to heart and they apply it to their life, what could change?
你问得太好了，这正是我写这本书的原因。
I'm so glad you asked that because it's why I wrote the book.
总有人来找我，问我能不能当他们的导师。
I have so many people coming and saying, will you mentor me?
对吧？
Right?
能不能开个大师课？
Will you do a master class?
能不能去给我的学生们讲一讲？
Will you come and talk to my students?
我尽量抽时间回应，但实在没法跟每个人单独聊。
And I try to do it as much as possible, I can't talk to everybody.
于是我想，不如这样吧。
So I said, you know what?
我当初最希望得到什么样的指导？
What's the mentorship I wish I had?
现在我知道了那些关键秘诀，不可能挨个去跟每个人当面说，但写成书，就能让更多人看到。
What are the secrets that I now know that I can't go and sit with every single person, but I can go out and I can put it out in a book that I can share with as many people as possible?
我写这本书，其中一个原因就是想回馈那些一直支持我的人。
It's one of the reasons I wrote it to pour back into the community of people that have supported me.
我希望人们能感受到，自己被真正看见、被真正理解。
I wanted people to feel like they could be seen and heard in a very different way.
不只是被听见，而是被实实在在地看见。
Not just listened to, but like present.
我希望他们走进任何房间时，都不用去证明自己为什么配在那里。
I wanted them to walk into a room and not feel like they had to justify why they were in that room.
我想帮他们学会，在这个总讲求平衡的世界里，怎么更好地把自己放在第一位。
I wanted them to figure out how better to prioritize themselves in a world where it's all about balance.
现在一切都太乱了。
Everything's crazy.
你总想把所有事情都兼顾。
You're trying to balance everything.
我们都需要一点帮助，来分清哪些才是最重要的，而有时候，最重要的就是你自己。
We can all use some help prioritizing the main things, and sometimes you are the main thing.
然后问自己，还有谁比我还合适呢？
And then asking that question, who better than me?
因为事实是，这能帮你突破薪资、处境或周围那些限制你的东西。
Because the reality is that it helps to unlock you beyond your paycheck or your circumstance or the things around you that are constraining you.
当你问，除了我，还有谁能跨越这些障碍呢？
When you say, who better than me to work past this to get past this?
除了我，还有谁能实现那些看似超出当前处境的目标呢？
Who better than me to accomplish something that feels like it's beyond my current situation?
这个问题是你要每天不断问自己的，一遍又一遍，然后学会怎么正确地回答它。
That's the question you gotta constantly ask yourself over and over every day and then learn how to answer that the right way.
好的。
Okay.
我们就从这儿开始吧。
Let's just start right there.
好的。
Okay.
四个字。
Four words.
谁比我还合适？
Who better than me?
没错。
Yes.
我听你这么说的时候，就在想，谁比我还合适？
As I was listening to you say that, who better than me?
我觉得，能问出这个问题的人真是聪明。
I thought, what a genius thing to ask yourself.
因为这个问题本身，就已经默认了答案。
Because that question by design, who better than me
对。
Yes.
它其实预设了答案。
Actually presumes the answer.
对。
Yes.
也就是说，你是最有资格去做任何必要之事的人。
Which is you are the person that is in the best position to do whatever is necessary
对。
Yes.
去解决问题、抓住机会、实现改变。
To solve this problem, seize this opportunity, make this change.
对。
Yes.
这个问题本身其实是一种自我挑战。
And the question itself is a challenge.
这是在考验你自己，因为你没有去问别人：我配得上吗？
It is a challenge to yourself because you're not asking someone else, tell me do I deserve it?
我够格吗？
Tell me am I important enough?
你觉得我有让你印象深刻吗？
Tell me have I impressed you?
没有。
No.
没有。
No.
没有。
No.
没有。
No.
没有。
No.
你让最重要的人来给出这个答案。
You're asking the most important person to give that answer.
你其实是在问自己，还有谁比你更合适？
You're asking yourself, who's better than me?
你正在逼自己想出一个比你更配得上这份成就的人。
You're challenging yourself to name somebody else that deserves it more than you.
当你意识到自己配得上成功时，我见过的那些最成功的人，其实并不是因为他们特别出众。
And then once you realize that you deserve success, the most successful people I've been around, it's not that they're just so amazing.
他们拥有的天赋，你我或者正在看的人也都有。
It's not that they have some talent that you or I or the person watching us don't have.
他们真正拥有的，是一种坚信自己配得上成功的信念。
What they have is this mentality that they deserve success.
这才是关键。
That's the key.
配得上成功。
Deserve success.
这种感觉终会到来。
And that is coming.
因为很多时候——我也经历过——你会觉得，自己到目前为止还不够成功。
Because a lot of times, and I've been there, you think I haven't been successful to this point.
我不确定它会不会来。
I don't know if it's coming.
今天没来，昨天也没来，明天可能也不会来。
It didn't come today, it didn't come yesterday, it might not come tomorrow.
最成功的人总觉得它马上就要来了。
The most successful people feel like it's coming.
我不知道具体什么时候，但它一定会来。
I don't know when, but it's coming.
你不能放手。
You can't let go of it.
你必须相信它终会到来。
You gotta believe it's coming.
成功一定会来。
Success is coming.
我完全同意你的说法。
I 1000% agree with you.
我之所以喜欢这个问题，还有个原因，就是这本书的标题——《除了你，还能有谁？》，一看到这个标题，我就在想：除了你，还能有谁？
And one of the other reasons why I like this question, the title of the book, of course, is Who Better Than You, which as I see that, I'm like, Who better than you?
他这话分明就是在对我说。
He's talking to me.
然后你就会开始问自己：那除了我，还能有谁？
And then you start to ask yourself, Well, who better than me?
你常常坐着等别人来选你，等别人给你机会，等别人发现你希望别人看到的那些东西。
You also recognize that oftentimes you're sitting around waiting for somebody to pick you, waiting for somebody to make the opportunity, waiting for somebody else to see what you hope people recognize.
但你得先在自己身上看到这些。
But you gotta see it in yourself first.
对。
Yes.
事实上，你在这本书里也写到了这一点，威尔。
In fact, you write about this, Will.
我正在读你的《纽约时报》畅销书《除了你，还能有谁？》，我很喜欢你在序言里写的那段话。
I'm reading from your New York Times bestseller, Who Better Than You, and I love what you wrote in the introduction.
我们常常等着别人把打开目标之门的钥匙递给我们，还希望他们顺便教我们怎么用。
Too often, we're waiting for someone else to hand us the keys that open the doors to our goals, and we want that person to not just give us the keys, but to also show us how to use them.
只要你明白，你自己就是那把钥匙，离实现属于你的卓越就已经更近了一步。
You will already be closer to obtaining your personal level of greatness when you understand that you are the key.
你就是那个关键所在。
You are the secret sauce.
你一直在等的那个人，其实正是你自己——那个能给你关键一推、彻底改变一切的人。
You are the person you've been waiting on to give you the leg up that will make all the difference.
除了你，还能有谁？
Who better than you?
当你意识到，那份力量早已在你手中，你就已经离释放它更近了，离创造精彩人生、开启非凡事业，甚至只是鼓起勇气为自己办一场盛大的庆祝派对——庆祝的主角是谁？——更近了。
By realizing that you already have access to that power, you are closer to unlocking it, closer to producing a blockbuster life, embarking on an extraordinary career path, or maybe, maybe just having the audacity to put on your own blowout affair celebrating who else?
是你。
You.
是你。
You.
我太喜欢这个了。
I love this.
记住一点，我敢肯定的是，奥普拉不会来。
And just remember one thing, this much I know to be true, Oprah ain't coming.
这句话是在呼应一个你待会儿要讲的故事。
That's a nod to a story you're gonna tell us.
对。
Yes.
没错。
It
是的。
is.
但对于那些听着心里想着‘没错，就是这样’的人来说。
But for the person who's listening who's like, yes, Will.
对。
Yes.
但他们听到的却是要打造一部爆款人生。
But they hear produce a blockbuster life.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Yeah.
你是一位备受赞誉的制片人。
You are an acclaimed producer.
那到底什么是制片人呢？
What actually is a producer?
我说的意思你懂吧？
You know what I mean?
比如说，导演和制片人有什么区别？你具体是做什么的？
Like, I I think, like, director versus producer, like, what do you do?
因为这其实直接关系到你如何打造自己的人生。
Because it is a direct connection to producing your life.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
这很有趣，因为制作能力其实是一项可迁移的技能，无论你是否在好莱坞，人人都能用得上。
And it's interesting because producing is actually the transferable skill that most people, whether you're in Hollywood or not, can actually use.
对吧？
Right?
所以我跟别人说，当你看奥斯卡颁奖礼的时候，会看到一大堆不同的奖项。
So what I tell people is that when you watch the Academy Awards, you've got all these different categories.
对吧？
Right?
最佳男主角、最佳音效、最佳导演，各种奖项。
You got the best actor, you got best sound, you got best director.
但到了当晚最后，压轴奖是最佳影片，这个奖颁给制片人，因为他们负责把所有其他人都安排在合适的位置上。
At the very end of the night, the final award goes to best picture, and the producer wins that award because they were responsible for putting all those other people in the positions that they were in.
所以制片人就像是一个大型项目的管理者。
So the producer is a big project manager.
他们负责筹钱、聘请导演、聘请录音师、聘请演员。
They're sponsoring for getting the money and hiring the director and hiring the sound person, hiring the actors.
这就是制片人要做的事。
That's what a producer does.
所以我才说，你可以打造一个精彩的人生，而制作就是把所有能成就理想生活的要素都安排到位。
That's why I say you can produce a blockbuster life and producing is putting all the things in place that create the ultimate thing which is this life we all wanna live.
对于那些听者中觉得‘我已经太晚了’的人来说，
For somebody that's listening who's like, it's too late for me.
你知道，真的已经太晚了。
You know, it's just too late.
我搞砸了，错过了机会。
I I screwed up, I missed the window.
是的。
Yeah.
你会对这样的人说什么呢？
What would you say to that person?
我经常听到这种说法。
I hear that so often.
前几天我跟一位了不起的女士聊天，她正琢磨怎么把生意做起来，她说：‘威尔，我都不是二十多岁的人了。’
I was talking to somebody the other day, an incredible woman who is trying to figure out how to get her business off the ground and she was like, Will, I'm not in my twenties.
我连三十多岁都过了。
I ain't in my thirties.
我不会告诉你我具体多大，但反正年纪不小了。
I got I'm not gonna tell you my age, but I'm at a big age.
我就跟她说，在好莱坞有句老话：观众最后的感受，就是他们对这部电影的感受。
And I said, listen, in Hollywood, we have a saying that how they feel at the end is how they felt about the movie.
明白吗？
Okay?
这意思就是，你懂的，你也有过这种经历，对吧？
What that means is that, and you've been there, right?
你有没有看过一部电影，开头慢悠悠的，心里想着算了，还是坚持看完吧，可这剧情铺垫也太长了吧，这么多背景和情节到底干嘛的？
You ever seen a movie and it's kind of slow and it's like, okay, I'm gonna stick through it but it's taking a long time to get there and what is all this exposition and all this plot?
但到结尾突然来个神转折，你一下子明白了：哦，原来前面那些都是伏笔啊！
But then at the end, something amazing happens and you go, oh, now I see why all that other stuff happened.
然后你立马打电话给朋友，说：嘿，这电影太棒了！
And you call and tell all your friends like, yo, this movie is great.
你一定要去看，真的不错，有悬念，有亮点，我就不剧透了，你亲自去看就懂了，对吧？
You gotta see this, it's good, it's got a hook, it's got a thing, I don't wanna tell you, you gotta go see it, right?
因为电影的第三幕，通常都是按三幕结构来分的。
Because the third act, and movies are broken down by acts.
第一幕是用来抓观众注意力的，这就是你进影院的原因。
The first act is what gets everybody's attention, that's why you come.
主演是谁、讲什么故事、是爱情片、恐怖片还是喜剧片，这些都属于第一幕。
It's starring so and so, it's about this, it's a rom com, it's a horror, it's a comedy.
对吧？
Right?
这就是第一幕。
That's the first act.
第二幕是你开始真正关心角色的时候。
The second act is when you get invested in the characters.
对吧？
Right?
这时候你才慢慢了解整个故事。
That's when you get to learn the story.
而第三幕，才是把整部电影撑起来的关键。
But the third act, that's when you bring it home.
它决定了你到底喜不喜欢这部电影。
That's when you really determine whether or not you love that movie or not.
好莱坞人人都懂这个道理。
Everybody in Hollywood knows that.
关键在于你让观众带着怎样的感觉离开。
The way you leave them feeling.
我们很多人都已经进入了第二幕、第三幕，甚至更往后了。
So many of us are in our second, third, and even beyond acts.
但我们却拿第一幕的表现来评判自己。
But we're judging ourselves on what we did in act one.
那根本一点都不重要。
That doesn't even matter.
对吧？
Right?
第三幕才决定别人对你是什么感觉。
The third act, that's how you leave people feeling.
人们最终会根据这个来评价你。
That's the value that people are gonna attribute to you.
对吧？
Right?
你不能用梅尔·罗宾斯人生的第一幕来评判她。
You can't judge Mel Robbins on the first act of her life.
我知道，你对此一直很坦诚。
I know that, you're very open and honest about that.
威尔·帕克也是这样。
Same with Will Packer.
不管你处在第一幕、第二幕，甚至第三幕，都还来得及。
So whether you're in the first, second or even third act, it's not over.
你要记住，关键在于你怎么收尾。
You gotta remember it's the way you end it.
别人对你的评价，取决于你最近的成就给你留下的印象。
It is the way you leave people feeling about what your most recent accomplishments are.
所以，永远都不算晚。
So it's never too late.
我特别喜欢这一点：如果你不喜欢现在的感受，那说明
Well, what I also love about this is if you don't like how it feels, we
你还没进入第三幕。
know you're not in the third act yet.
没错。
There you go.
就是这样。
That's right.
对。
Right.
你还没到终点。
You're not at the end.
你还没到终点。
You're not at the end.
你还有更多的篇章要写。
You still got more acts to go.
你依然有机会转变人生，活出一部爆款人生。
You still got an opportunity to change and create a blockbuster life.
随时转身都不算晚。
Never too late to pivot.
转折的力量。
The power of the pivot.
我非常相信这种力量。
I'm a big believer in embracing that power.
你的电影还没结束。
Your movie's not over.
你的故事还远未讲完。
Your story is not over being told.
我特别喜欢这个说法。
I absolutely love this.
我喜欢是因为它让你能像看电影场景一样，看清自己当前的位置。
I I love it because it allows you to think about where you are as if you're in a scene.
对。
Yes.
但这可不是结局。
But this is not how it ends.
如果你要自己编剧人生，那结局该怎么写，由你说了算。
If you're gonna produce your life, you get to decide how it ends.
没错。
That's right.
你在书里提到一个叫‘健康的自信’的工具，但我可不想被人当成自大狂。
You know, in your book, you have this tool that you call healthy arrogance, but I don't wanna be considered arrogant.
那你到底是什么意思呢？
So what do you mean by that?
健康的自信，就是无论走到哪里，不管周围是谁，你都觉得自己有资格在那儿。
Healthy arrogance is the feeling that you belong in any room that you're in no matter who else is in that room.
明白吗？
Okay?
这跟有毒的自大不一样，那种人一进房间就觉得比谁都强。
Not to be confused with toxic arrogance which says, when I walk into a room, I'm better than everybody.
对吧？
Right?
我是赢家，你是输家。
I'm a winner, you're a loser.
我很好，你很糟。
I'm good, you're bad.
这可不是我们正在讨论的内容。
That's not what we're talking about.
对。
Yep.
真正意思是，不管房间里是谁，你都配得上在那里，因为你带来了自己的价值。
What it is is the belief that no matter who's in that room, you belong there because you have something that you're bringing.
你有一种自信，而这才是关键所在。
You have a confidence because that's really what it is.
健康的自信，就是对外界展现你独特的价值。
Healthy arrogance is an outside confidence in the uniqueness of you.
最成功的人，都是有自信的。
The most successful people are confident.
不用大声嚷嚷。
Not loud.
你不需要走进房间就到处宣告，但你心里得清楚。
You don't have to walk into a room and announce it, but you gotta know it.
你得明白，我带来的东西是这里其他人没有的。
You gotta know I'm doing something and bringing something to this room that nobody else in here has.
这里没人能像我这样做事。
Nobody else in here can do the way that I do it.
当你带着这种自信走进房间，你就会意识到，你不仅配得上坐在这里，而且因为有你，这个房间变得更好了。
And so when you walk in with that level of confidence, now you also realize that this room, not only do you deserve to be there, but the room is better because you're in it.
然后你开始想，我怎么才能帮助提升房间里其他人的水平，来证明我的价值，让这个房间因为我的存在而更出色？
And then you start thinking about how can I help to bring up the other people in this room to prove my worth and make the room better because of the thing that I do?
我喜欢你刚才说的那句话，因为它是一个可以牢牢抓住的视角。
I love something you just said because it's a framing that you can hold on to.
因为我觉得，如果真要拆解这种健康的自信，说实话，我一直在想，对于那些特别不自信、缺乏底气的人来说。
Because I do think that if I really unpack this healthy arrogance, right, because I was really thinking, okay, so for somebody who's like super insecure and doesn't have a lot of confidence.
是的
Yeah.
很多人会感到自己配不上现在的地位。
A lot of people struggle with impostor syndrome.
你走进一个房间，觉得自己一无是处。
You walk into a room, you think you have nothing to offer.
对
Yes.
我喜欢这个说法——因为有我在，这个房间变得更好了。
I love this framing, the room is better because I'm in it.
没错
Yes.
这跟聪明与否或者技能高低没关系。
That has nothing to do with intelligence or skill.
这关乎你作为一个人的存在本身，明白这一点本身就是一种价值。
It has to do with just your presence as a human being and knowing that that in and of itself is a value.
对。
Yes.
这么说公平吗？我一直在想这个‘健康的自信’的概念。
Is it fair to say because I was thinking about this concept of healthy arrogance.
如果一个人总在自我怀疑，看不到自己任何积极的一面。
If somebody struggles with self doubt and this inability to really see something positive about themselves.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Mhmm.
这种自信，是不是就是用来超越自我怀疑的那种力量？
Is the arrogance actually what it takes to be bigger than that self doubt.
健康的自信是内在的，没错。
Healthy arrogance is internal Okay.
不是外在的。
Not external.
明白了。
Got it.
不是那种一进门，大家都说：‘瞧瞧梅·罗宾斯，真够自大的。’
It is not about walking in and everybody going, oh, look at that Mel Robbins.
她觉得自己了不起得不得了。
Boy, does she think she's the shit.
我希望他们别这么说。
I hope they don't say that.
这根本不是重点。
That's not what it's about.
重点是梅·罗宾斯走进房间时，心里觉得：我很重要。
What it's about is Mel Robbins walking into that room and feeling like, I've got an importance.
我有我的价值。
I've got something.
我也有自我怀疑，因为谁都会有。
I got self doubt because everybody has it.
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没错。
Right.
我心里那个怀疑的小魔鬼一直在嘀咕，说我这也不行、那也做不到、什么都没有。
I got that little doubt devil on my shoulder telling me what I'm not, what I can't be, what I don't have.
而那种健康的自信，就是另一个声音，像天使一样。
Healthy arrogance is the other, the angel.
你形容一下，这个天使是怎么说的？
Tell me how that angel talks.
其实很多时候，这个天使的声音太小了。
There's lot a lot of that that angel's not very loud.
对，就是这个天使，说的就是这个意思。
You know, that angel that's what it is.
咱们得把这声音放大一点。
We gotta make it louder.
这个天使在说：去吧，Mel。
That angel's going, go Mel.
去吧，梅尔。
Go Mel.
去吧，威尔。
Go Will.
加油，就是干。
Go like, go.
你能行的。
You got this.
你一定能做到。
You can do it.
梅尔，我每天都在心里对自己说这话。你说 affirmation，我可是自我肯定的王者。
Mel, I literally tell myself that You talk about affirmations, I'm the king of self affirmation.
说来听听。
Let's hear it.
我每天早上对着镜子说。
I look in the mirror every morning
是的
Yep.
我还给自己搞个威尔·帕克式的动员会。
And I do a Will Packer pep rally.
我每天都会给自己开个小动员会，说你行的。
I have my own little pep rally telling myself, you got this.
你行的。
You got this.
你有这个本事。
You have the skills.
你具备所需的一切。
You have what it takes.
你已经为今天做好了准备。
You're prepared for the day.
你已经为那些你根本想不到的突发状况做好了准备。
You're prepared for whatever's gonna come that you don't even know.
你行的，Will。
You got it, Will.
你已经准备好了。
You're prepared for it.
我这么做有两个原因。
I do that for two reasons.
第一个是因为今天这可能是我最后一次听到这话了。
One is because it's the last time I'm hear it today.
对吧？
Right?
因为我们平时哪能总有人围着你夸你，除非真有个行军乐队跟着你，不停地告诉你有多棒。
Because we just don't walk around with a bunch of people, you know, unless you you got a marching band following around telling you how great you are.
我这么做的第二个原因是，我自己的声音最重要。
The second reason I do it is because my voice is the most important voice.
因为这是我最需要听到的声音，而它正来自我自己。
Because I hear it from the most important person I need to hear it from.
这就是一种培养自信的方式，即使你本身并不是那种人，因为我们没人天生就觉得‘我太棒了’。
That is one of the ways that you can build that confidence muscle even if you're not that person because none of us are born thinking, oh, I'm great.
我有本事取得成功。
I have what it takes to be successful.
我配得上成功。
I deserve success.
这些都不是与生俱来的。
That's not something we're born with.
你得自己去建立它。
You have to build it.
等等。
Wait.
但你不是因为和我在一起才这样的，威尔，你身上有种让人忍不住相信的、温暖又充满希望的气质。
So you did not because because I being around you, Will, there's this just contagious, kind, effervescent possibility.
你说的每一句话，我都信。
Like, I believe everything you're saying.
我觉得这人打出生起就带着这种基因，简直刻在骨子里了。
I'm like, this dude must have literally entered the world with this wiring because it is so woven into your DNA.
你一直都是这样吗？还是说你后来才这样的？
Is this how you've always been or did you okay.
那你从头说起吧。
Well, take me back Yeah.
从最开始讲起。
To the beginning.
我一直有个梦想，想特别成功，但我不知道那具体是什么样子。
I always had a dream of being, like, really successful, and I didn't know what that looked like.
我也说不清楚成功到底意味着什么。
I didn't know how to define it.
但我的生活背景、成长经历，都没让我觉得这种事会落到我头上。
But there was nothing about me or my life or my upbringing that said to me that, like, that was in the cards for me.
根本不可能。
It just wasn't.
对我来说，成功的可能性比失败的恐惧更重。
And for me, it was like the possibility of success outweighed the fear of failure.
我想让大家看到，失败的恐惧确实存在。
And that's where I'm trying to pull people to and get them to see that, like, the fear of failure is real.
我懂。
I get it.
我能理解。
I understand it.
我知道，抑郁和焦虑是每个人在不同阶段都会面对的问题。
I know depression and anxiety is something that all of us at different levels have to deal with.
我内心有一种强烈的渴望，想要成功。
For me, I have this outsized desire for success.
我听从的是‘如果我成功了会怎样’，它驱动着我，声音比‘如果我失败了会怎样’大得多。
The what if I'm successful is what I listen to and what drives me, and it's louder than the what if I fail.
我很欣赏你能学会对自己说：万一成了呢？
I love that you were able to teach yourself to say, what if this works?
是的
Yeah.
如果我成功了呢？
What if I am successful?
是的
Yeah.
如果我再坚持一会儿，事情真的就发生了呢？
What if I just keep going a little bit longer and it actually freaking happens?
对
Yes.
对
Yes.
你对正在听的人有什么建议吗？
How would you recommend to the person listening Yeah.
该怎么培养这种心态？
That you cultivate this?
这就像一种肌肉。
It's a muscle.
明白了。
Okay.
它和你身体里的其他肌肉一样，需要慢慢锻炼出来。
It's a muscle like any other muscle that you have to build.
对吧？
Right?
我有个秘诀，就是主动创造势头。
One of my secrets is that I will fabricate momentum.
哦，原来如此。
Oh, okay.
创造势头。
Fabricate momentum.
对。
Yes.
说说看。
Tell me.
我来教你，威尔，是这样的。
Here's how Teach me, Will.
对。
Yes.
我们太多次对自己太苛刻了，总想着万一失败了怎么办，万一失败了怎么办，觉得自己什么都没做成。
Too many times we're so hard on ourselves in thinking what if I fail, what if I fail Because we feel like, Mel, Will, I haven't done anything.
对吧？
Right?
我想出去爬山。
I wanna go out and climb the mountain.
这才是我的目标。
That's my goal.
我想去爬那座山。
I wanna climb the mountain.
我做不到。
I can't.
我还没爬过那座山。
I haven't climbed the mountain yet.
首先，这个目标太远大了。
Well, first of all, that goal is too lofty.
对吧？
Right?
第一步根本不是去爬山。
The first thing to do is not climb the mountain.
那不是第一步。
That's not step one.
第一步是买双登山鞋。
Step one is buy mountain climbing shoes.
就这么简单。
That's it.
第二步，开车去山脚下转一圈。
Step two, go drive by the mountain.
看看它。
Look at it.
明白吧？
You know?
拍张照片。
Take a picture.
好好想想。
Think about it.
回家去。
Go home.
你知道你干了什么吗？
You know what you've done?
你已经做了两件事了。
You've done two things.
你已经完成了两个步骤。
You've completed two steps.
你得跟自己说清楚这一点。
You gotta tell yourself that.
对吧？
Right?
我做了一个。
I did one.
我做了两个。
I did two.
慢一点也是进步。
Slow progress is still progress.
我永远不会忘记。
I'll never forget.
我大学毕业后拍的第一部电影，给自己定了一个筹款目标。
The first movie I ever made after I graduated from college, I set a goal for myself for how much money we were trying to raise.
我们原本打算筹七十五万美元。
We were gonna raise $750,000.
这就是我们的目标。
That was the goal.
我怎么也筹不到这笔钱。
I couldn't raise it for the life of me.
我一个有钱人都不认识。
I didn't know anybody rich.
我自己也没钱。
I didn't have any money.
这可是电影的全部预算，可我就是筹不到。
That was the budget of the film and I could not raise it.
所以我没再设金钱目标，而是定了个时间目标。
So what I did was instead of a monetary goal, I set a date goal.
我就想，好吧，接下来三个月我能筹到多少算多少。
I said, okay, whatever I'm able to raise in the next three months.
对吧？
Right?
到六月底，不管凑到多少，那就是这部电影的预算了。
By the end of June, when that comes, that's the budget of the film.
梅尔·罗宾斯。
Mel Robbins.
到六月底，我凑到了七万五千美元，真是不少了。
By the end of June, I had raised 75,000 whopping American dollars.
是的。
Okay.
离目标还差得远，钱也不够，尤其是那时候拍电影根本不够用。
A long way away and not enough money, especially back then to make a movie.
好。
K.
但你猜怎么着？
But guess what?
什么？
What?
我拍了一部只有七万五千美元的小成本电影。
I shot a tiny a tiny little $75,000 movie.
这部片子做了两件事。
That did two things.
第一件事是，我有了实实在在的东西可以拿给人们看，证明我真能拍电影。
The first thing it did was it gave me something to show people that I could do.
我之前总说自己是电影人，但现在我能直接拿作品给他们看。
I was saying I was a filmmaker, but now I could actually show them I'm a filmmaker.
第二件事，也是最重要的一件事，是让我自己相信了：我真的能做到。
The second thing and the most important thing was that it showed me I could do it.
因为我当时就想：你知道吗？
It showed me because I was like, you know what?
我并没有按自己理想的方式拍成它。
I didn't make it the way I wanted to make it.
我没有大预算。
I didn't have the big budget.
我没有一个盛大的开端，但我还是做出了点东西。
I didn't have the big start, but I made something.
我确实做成了点事。
I did something.
我们太多时候都在设定目标，然后说：如果我做不到，或者不知道怎么做到，那就先制造一点动力。
Too many times we're setting a goal and we're saying if I don't accomplish that or I don't know how I'm gonna accomplish that, fabricate some momentum.
先动起来。
Get it going.
对吧？
Right?
赶紧开始。
Get started.
先做一件你能完成的事，然后再做一件，再做一件。
Do something you can accomplish and then another thing and then another thing.
不知不觉间，你就有了点势头。
Before you know it, you've got a little momentum.
这是另一种方式，让你的大脑悄悄告诉自己：嘿，其实……
It's another way to trick our brains into saying, you know what?
我不是在失败的循环里。
I'm not in a cycle of failure.
我是在积极的循环里。
I'm in a cycle of positivity.
你只是买了双登山鞋，或者三次路过那座山，但你已经在路上了。
All you did was buy some mountain climbing shoes or drive by that mountain three times, but you're on your way.
比起坐在家里想‘我永远爬不上那座山’，你现在离目标更近了。
You're closer than you were sitting at home going, I'll never be able to climb a mountain.
你已经更近了一点。
You're a little bit closer.
关键就在于，不管你的那座山是什么。
That's the key, whatever your mountain is.
对我来说，就是真的走出去拍了个特别小的短片，好让自己相信我真的能做成一件事。
For me, it was literally going out and making a tiny little movie so that I could prove to myself I could make something.
我喜欢你这种自我证明的方式。
I love that you're proving to yourself.
那有人看过吗？
Now, did anybody see it?
是的。
Yeah.
有几个人看了。
Couple of people.
对。
Yeah.
有几个人看了？
Couple of people?
片子出来了。
It came out.
确实如此。
It did.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
我那部电影真的取得了成功。
I actually had success with that film.
我们真的去推广了，全靠自己拼命争取。
We actually went out because we hustled it.
我还相信，你得愿意做别人不愿意做的事。
The other thing I believe is that you gotta be willing to do what others aren't.
对吧？
Right?
哦。
Oh.
想要别人得不到的东西，就得愿意做别人不做的事。
Wanna have what others won't, you gotta be willing to do what others don't.
等一下。
Wait.
再说一遍。
Say that again.
这话太棒了。
That was really good.
没错。
Yes.
这可是我们全家的座右铭。
And this is my mantra of my family.
对吧？
Right?
我跟我妻子有四个孩子，一共六口人。
It's my wife and I have got four kids, so it's six of us.
我们家就是六人组。
We're the six pack.
我们六人组的信条就是，想要别人得不到的东西，就得愿意做别人不肯做的事。
The six pack mantra is, if you wanna have what others won't, you gotta be willing to do what others don't.
于是，我们开着那部小电影，一个城市接一个城市地跑。
And so with that movie, we drove our little tiny movie city to city to city to city.
我们开车住便宜的汽车旅馆，六号、超级八号，谁收留我们都行，晚上就发传单。
We drove and stayed in little motel six, super eight motel, well, whoever would have us, and we would pass out flyers.
我们在夜总会发传单，也在教堂发传单。
We would pass out flyers at nightclubs, we'd pass out flyers in churches.
我们在南方，很多时候，夜总会的人第二天早上又出现在教堂里，对吧？
We were in the South, so a lot of times it was the same people at the nightclub that were at the church the next morning, right?
这都不重要。
It didn't matter.
我们就是拼命在干。
We were hustling.
那时候没人这么干，所以我们成功了，他们没成功。
Nobody else was doing that at that time, So that's why we had success they didn't have.
如果你做的事跟别人都一样，那你得到的成就也会跟他们一样。
If you're doing what everybody else is doing, you're gonna have the same sphere of success that they have.
所以你得愿意走出自己的舒适区，也走出别人的舒适区。
So you gotta be willing to step outside your comfort zone and step outside the comfort zone of other people.
在那段经历里，肯定有成千上万的教训，关于人际关系，还有那些你根本想不到的事。
In that story, I'm sure there were a million lessons doing it that way and relationships and everything else that you don't think about.
直到今天，我还在用这个方法。
I still use it to this day.
我之所以能坐在这里，就是因为当年我开着那部小电影，一个城市接一个城市地跑，这才让好莱坞注意到了我。
That's why I sit where I sit because of what I went out and drove my little tiny movie, you know, city to city to city and that's how I ended up getting on Hollywood's radar.
威尔，你太了不起了。
Will, you're amazing.
谢谢你分享这段经历。
Thank you for sharing that.
我得先暂停一下，让我们可爱的赞助商说几句话。
You know, I wanna hit the pause button real quick so we can give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words.
在听广告的时候，别忘了把这期节目分享给朋友。
And while you're listening to the sponsors, take a minute and share this with a friend.
威爾现在状态爆棚，这才刚刚开始。
Will's on fire and he's just getting started.
我们每个人都需要培养一种对自我和梦想的坚定信念。
And absolutely every one of us needs to develop this unshakable belief in ourselves and our dreams.
所以别走开。
And so don't go anywhere.
广告结束后，威爾·帕克和我都会在这里等你回来。
Will Packer and I are gonna be waiting for you after this short break.
请继续关注我们。
So stay with us.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your buddy Mel Robbins.
今天，我和你一起跟这位了不起的电影人兼制片人威尔·帕克聊聊。
Today, you and I are getting to spend time with the remarkable filmmaker and producer, Will Packer.
你的《你不是别人，正是你自己》这本书里，有太多精彩的故事了。
There are so many incredible stories in your New York Times bestseller, Who Better Than You?
我特别喜欢其中一个，讲的是所谓健康的自信，就是你拍的学生电影《巧克力城》。
And one of the first ones that I loved, and it touches on this idea of healthy arrogance, is the story about your student film, Chocolate City.
是的。
Yes.
这个故事我真的特别喜欢。
I love this story Yeah.
原因有很多。
For so many reasons.
那是我拍的第一部电影，当时我还是个学生。
It's very first film I ever made, I was still a student.
我在佛罗里达农工大学读书，拍了这部很小的片子。
I was in college at Florida A and M University, and we made this tiny little movie.
我们真的是借钱拍的。
Literally, we just borrowed money.
用了仓库里没人用的胶片。
We used, you know, film that was sitting in a warehouse that nobody else was using.
我们手头根本没什么资源来拍这部小片子。
I mean, we had nothing to make this little movie.
对吧？
Right?
主角就是我们自己。
It starred us.
主角是校园里的那些学生。
It starred the kids on that campus.
我们特别大胆，这正是‘除了你还能有谁’和健康自信的体现——片子拍完后，我们人在佛罗里达的塔拉哈西。
We were so audacious, and this is where the who better than you and the healthy arrogance comes in, that after we finished this little tiny nothing of a movie, we're in Tallahassee, Florida.
我们就说：嘿，我们真拍出一部电影了。
We said, well, we made a movie.
明白吧？
Okay?
我们得办一场首映式。
We gotta have a premiere.
拍了电影不都得办首映吗？
That's what you have when you have a movie.
得搞个盛大的首映。
You have a big premiere.
我们去不了好莱坞。
We couldn't make it to Hollywood.
那会儿哪有钱去那儿。
We didn't have any money for that.
所以我们在自己校园里办了一场首映。
So we did a premiere right on our campus.
就在校园里。
Campus.
对吧？
Right?
善用你手头的资源，没错。
Use the resources available to you Yep.
就在我们校园的学生礼堂办的，还请了所有学生来。
Right on our campus at our student auditorium, and we invited all the students.
对吧？
Right?
但你还得穿正装，得打领结。
But you had to dress up, you had to wear black tie.
梅尔·罗宾斯，这些可都是囊中羞涩的大学生啊。
Mel Robbins, these are broke college students.
这要求也太苛刻了点。
The audacity was a little mean.
现在回头想想，他们还真都去参加了。
Now that I go back and think about it because they all went out and did it.
他们跑去租了燕尾服和礼服，因为我们说，要进场就得穿正装。
They went and rented tuxes and gowns because we said to get in, you gotta be wear formal wear.
这其实是在告诉他们：喂，你明白了吧？
What it did was it told them, okay, you know what?
他们真的把这事当回事了。
They're taking this very seriously.
那我们也不能掉以轻心了。
So I guess we should too.
说起来有点疯狂，但咱们还是干吧。
It's kinda crazy, but we'll do it.
对吧？
Right?
我们还做了另一件事——把整个好莱坞都请来了。
The other thing we did, we invited all of Hollywood.
我们邀请了所有主要的好莱坞制片公司。
We invited all the major Hollywood studios.
不管哪家制片厂，索尼、华纳兄弟、派拉蒙，全都请了。
You name a studio, Sony, Warner Brothers, Paramount.
我们把各大制片厂的高管都邀请了。
We invited the heads of the studio.
我妈妈，我永远忘不了，她说，宝贝，你应该邀请奥普拉·温弗瑞。
My mom, I'll never forget, my mother goes, well, baby, you should invite Oprah Winfrey.
我说，妈，我不认识奥普拉·温弗瑞。
I said, mom, I don't know Oprah Winfrey.
她说，你又不认识那些其他人。
She said, you don't know all those other people.
是你邀请他们的。
You invited them.
你还邀请了索尼影业的董事长。
You invited this chairman of Sony Pictures.
你都不认识他们吗？
You don't know them?
你邀请他们了？
You invited them?
你应该邀请奥普拉。
You should invite Oprah.
我说，好吧，妈。
Said, okay, mom.
我去邀请奥普拉。
I'll invite Oprah.
我说，但奥普拉只能带一位嘉宾。
I said, but Oprah can only get a plus one.
明白吗？
Okay?
因为座位没那么多。
Because I don't have that many seats.
所以我邀请了奥普拉。
So I invited Oprah.
我给了她一个额外的名额。
I gave her plus one.
她本可以带斯蒂德曼或盖尔来。
She could have brought Steadman or Gail.
对我来说都无所谓。
Didn't matter to me.
对吧？
Right?
我永远都忘不了，梅尔。
I'll never forget, Mel.
我站在我的第一部小成本电影《查卡城》首映的大学礼堂里，给满屋子学生做介绍。他们都穿得特别正式，因为我说过这很重要，他们得认真对待。结果前排座位全空着。
I'm standing in the student auditorium of my first little film Chaka City, and I'm introducing it to a room full of students who are all dressed to the nines, who took it serious because I said they needed to, because I said it was that important, and the entire front row is empty.
前排没人，因为我特意留着给那些好莱坞的大人物们。
Nobody's in the front row because I saved it for all those fancy Hollywood folks.
没人提前告诉我他们会来。
Mind you, nobody told me they were coming.
根本没人回应。
Nobody responded at all.
但梅尔，要是我首映当晚，有一整队私人飞机降落在塔拉哈西地区机场呢？
But Mel, what if a fleet of private jets showed up at the Tallahassee Regional Airport the night of my premiere?
我得做好准备。
I had to be prepared.
我就站在那儿。
I'm standing there.
前排空无一人，但其他所有座位都坐满了。
The front row is completely empty, but there is not another empty seat in the house.
礼堂里其他地方全是站着的人。
It is standing room only for everybody else in that auditorium.
就在那一刻，我突然明白了。
And that's when I realized, you know what?
我拍电影，根本不是为了前排那些人。
I'm not making my movies for the front row.
我拍这部电影，是给所有那些赶来参加、穿上礼服和晚礼裙、坐在这里，甚至站着，却依然热爱这部电影的人。
I'm making it for everybody else who showed up and rented those tuxes and ball gowns and sat there, some stood, and loved that movie.
他们喜欢这部学生作品，是因为他们在电影里看到了自己。
They loved that student film because they saw themselves on screen.
好莱坞压根儿就没来。
Hollywood couldn't be bothered to show up.
我这才意识到，我居然绕开了那些真正站在我这边、等着认可我的人，反而去追求那些有头衔、有背景、有钱有势的人的认可。
I realized I was stepping over the people that were actually in my corner ready to validate me, looking for the validation of people who had brands and names and money and titles.
我当时就是在寻求外界的认可。
I was looking for that external validation.
我们这种事，到底做过多少回？
How many times do we do that?
我们多少次忽视身边支持我们的人，只为了讨好那些根本不认识、却觉得他们特别重要的人，觉得他们的认可才有分量，结果却冷落了真正该被我们珍惜的人？
How many times do we ignore the people that are around us, are in our corner, that would support us because we're trying to get validation from people that we don't even know, because we think their validation matters, because we think they're so important, and we ignore the folks that we actually should be pouring into.
这个故事，我特别喜欢，原因有很多。
I love this story for so many reasons.
其中有一点我想特别强调，希望大家在听的时候能留意到：在人生中，无论你打算展示自己、推出你的作品、创业，还是利用社交媒体做点不同于只发度假和娃照的事，理解这一点都至关重要。
And one of the things I wanna hover on and make sure that as you're listening is how important it is to understand, especially in life, if you're gonna put yourself out there or you're gonna put your art out there or you're going to build a business or you're gonna use social media for a different purpose than just sharing photos of your vacation and of your kids.
我们常常把注意力放在让某个高管、某个有影响力的人，或者某个大人物看到我们的东西上。
We're often focused on getting a person in some c suite or some influence or some somebody to see it.
对。
Yes.
但你却忽略了这样一个事实：真正重要的其实是普通大众。对。
And you're missing the fact that it's just everyday people Yes.
他们才是真正欣赏你作品的人。
Who are looking for your art
对。
Yes.
你才应该去跟这些人交流。
Who you need to be talking to
没错。
Yes.
如果你能专注于那些本该找到你的人，真诚地表达自己
And if you can focus on the people that are meant to find you and the and and expressing yourself
对的。
Yes.
然后欢迎那些真正出现的人，而不是总盼着别人来，这样你才赢了。
And then welcoming in the people that come instead of wishing other people were there Yes.
你赢了。
You win.
是的。
Yes.
这是第一条。
That's number one.
但还有第二点，我想好好聊聊。
But there's a second thing that I wanna make sure that we unpack.
我相信，只要你守住那排座位
I believe that by reserving that row
对。
Mhmm.
而且你要主动发出邀请，像威尔说的那样，保持一种健康的自信——也就是，你怎么敢真的相信自己？
And actually extending the invitation and having, in your words, Will, a healthy level of arrogance, which means how dare you actually believe in yourself.
是的。
Yes.
对吧？
Right?
你怎么敢相信，也许，只是也许，会有人真的出现？
How dare you hold the space that maybe, just maybe, somebody will show up?
我相信，只要你表现得好像你已经为他们铺好了路，多年后他们才会真的坐在那里。
I believe that in acting as if you actually laid the foundation for them to be sitting there years later.
是的。
Yes.
对。
Yes.
你能稍微讲讲这个吗？
Can you talk a little bit about that, please?
是的。
Yes.
很多时候，我们都觉得前排的人不会来。
Because so many times, we say the front row people aren't coming.
他们不会支持我。
They're not gonna support me.
我拿不到这个合作。
I'm not gonna get the deal.
不会有人看我的视频。
I'm not gonna nobody's gonna watch my video.
对的人不会来看。
The right people aren't gonna watch it.
我不会去制作内容。
I'm not gonna create the content.
你把自己放得很低，是因为你觉得成功的可能性遥不可及。
You make yourself small because you think that the possibility of success feels so far away.
但如果你连这扇门都不愿意推开，那现在坐在我这里的，就是奥普拉·温弗瑞这样的朋友。
But if you don't even open the door to that, now, as I sit here, Oprah Winfrey is a friend.
她虽然没来参加我的《巧克力城》首映，但我现在有好几档节目都在她的频道播出。
She didn't come to my Chocolate City premiere, but I've got multiple shows on her network now.
我之所以能坐到今天这个位置，是因为我足够相信自己，不管她来不来，她都该来。
The reason that I sit where I sit is because I believed in myself enough to say, whether she comes or not, she should come.
因为我所做的事情，足够重要。
Because what I'm doing is important enough.
我也一直按它很重要那样去行动。
And I acted like it was important enough.
对。
Mhmm.
如果我当时只是说，我有一部小电影要上映。
Because if I had just said, I got a little movie coming.
我只办了个小小的首映式。
I got a little premiere.
穿着牛仔裤和T恤来看看吧，告诉我你感觉怎么样。
Come wear your jeans and t shirts and check it out and let me know what you think.
人们其实都会来的。
People would have come.
对吧？
Right?
但他们不会觉得这事有多重要。
But they wouldn't have felt it was important.
我们太多时候都在低估自己，也不去让别人意识到我们的梦想和努力有多重要，但这一切都得从你开始。
Too many times we're making ourselves small and not forcing others to realize how important our dreams and our endeavors are, but it starts with you.
如果你自己都不信，别人更不会信。
They're not gonna believe it if you don't.
如果你都不觉得这事重要，我凭什么相信它重要呢？
Why should I ever believe that what you're doing is important if you don't believe it?
我不是说只是相信而已。
And I don't mean just believe it.
我是说要深信不疑，发自内心，让这种信念具有感染力。
I mean believe it so clearly and wholeheartedly that it's contagious.
这还有另一点。
That's the other thing.
健康的自信是内在的，但它也会让你走路的姿态、待人接物的方式都变得不一样，人们自然想靠近成功的人。
The healthy arrogance is internal, but it also manifests itself in a way that you walk into a room differently and people want to be around successful people.
人们都愿意跟那些相信自己的人在一起，而你也可以成为这样的人，吸引别人主动靠近你。
People wanna be around people that believe in themselves and you can be one of those people that other people then gravitate to.
只要你改变心态，就会有原本你根本想不到的人主动向你靠拢。
Changing your mentality will make people gravitate to you that you're not even thinking about.
我刚听你这么一说，突然有种豁然开朗的感觉。
I just had this huge epiphany listening to you.
你准备好了吗？
You ready?
我觉得这可以转化成一个你可以问自己的问题，就像一次内心深处的自我检验。
And I think I can translate this into a question that you can ask yourself, kinda like one of these gut checks.
你刚才已经告诉我们，谁比你更合适。
You've already given us who better than me.
我再给你一个类似的。
I'm gonna give you another one.
如果这件事真的对我很重要，我会以怎样的方式去行动，而不是像现在这样？
If this were really important to me, how would I show up differently than I am right now?
我觉得在生活中，我们常常觉得某件事很重要。
See, I think in life, oftentimes, we feel that something's important.
比如你是个房产经纪人。
And it could be something like you're a real estate agent.
这个周末你有个开放日活动。
You have an open house this weekend.
如果这场开放日是你这辈子最重要的一场，你会怎么准备？
What does it look like if this open house is the most important open house you've ever done?
是的
Yep.
你明明很想做YouTube，想开一个自己的频道。
You know, you are a person who really wants to get into like YouTube and creating a YouTube channel.
好吧。
Okay.
那如果这件事对你真的很重要，你发的视频会是什么样子？语气和感觉又会怎样？
Well, what is the video you're going to post look like and sound like and feel like if it's important to you?
是的
Yep.
很多时候，我自己也这样——
And I think a lot of times what we do is we put in I can just say this for myself.
因为怕不成功，所以不敢全力以赴。
We don't go all in because we're kind of afraid it's not gonna work.
对
Yeah.
其实呢，如果你只是敷衍一下，那当然可以。
And secretly, you know, if you kinda half ass it a little Yeah.
你没全力以赴，那也说得通。
And you don't go all in Yeah.
你就可以把这当成借口。
You can kinda blame that.
借口。
Excuse.
我其实没怎么认真做。
I didn't really try.
没做成也没关系，你知道的。
It's okay that it didn't work, you know.
我根本没拼尽全力。
I didn't go all out.
但我特别喜欢你刚才说的，那种健康自信的核心理念——就是培养对自己的信念。
But what I love about what you're saying, this core principle around healthy arrogance is cultivating belief in self.
所以你可以这么做，自己问自己：如果这件事真的对我很重要，我会以怎样的方式去对待？
And so you can do that and you can call yourself out by saying, alright, if this actually were really important to me, how would I show up differently?
对。
Yes.
然后把这种态度传达给别人。
To communicate that to other people.
对。
Yes.
你提到过发传单、到处跑的事。
And you talked about passing out the flyers and going around.
你那部花了七万五千美元拍的第一部电影，显然对你来说很重要。
That film, your first film for $75,000 was clearly important to you.
是的。
Yes.
所以你用实际行动证明了它的分量——做了大多数人不会去做的事。
And so you demonstrated that it was important by doing things that most people won't do.
对。
Yes.
这是一个简单的方法，我觉得能帮你好好反思自己。
And that's a simple tool that I think can help you really check yourself.
我是不是在以一种健康的自信在行事？
Am I operating with a level of healthy arrogance here?
对。
Yes.
我有没有真的把这件事当回事？
Am I acting as if this is actually important to me?
我有没有向别人展现出这一点？
And am I demonstrating that to people?
我有没有对别人提出这样的要求？
Am I demanding that of people?
这个说法太棒了，威尔。
I love that, Will.
是的。
Yeah.
这事儿挺微妙的，但特别重要。
It's such a nuanced thing, but it is so important.
你这么说太到位了，你真得全力以赴，为自己站出来。
The way you said it is so good because you have to go all out and show up for yourself.
这确实是关键。
That's really the key there.
不管做什么事，你都值得拼尽全力。
You deserve to give a 110% to whatever the thing is.
你的梦想配得上这份付出。
Your dream deserves it.
这份事业配得上这份付出。
The endeavor deserves it.
你配得上。
You deserve it.
那听众该怎么把这些道理用到自己的生活里呢？
How does somebody listening start to apply this to their life?
比如你一边上班，一边还房贷，还要照顾孩子，但心里依然有远大的梦想。
Like, you know, you're working your job, you're paying your bills, you're taking care of kids, you still have big dreams.
也许你想写本书，也许你想搞清楚怎么赚一百万，实现财务自由，或者想重新回学校读书。
Maybe you wanna write a book, maybe you wanna figure out how to make a million dollars and be financially in a maybe you wanna go back to school.
是的。
Yeah.
你已经提到那么多实用的方法了。
You've already talked about so many different tools that you use.
对。
Mhmm.
这显然就是你对待生活的方式。
And this is clearly the way you move through life.
对。
Mhmm.
人该怎么从现状开始呢，是的。
How can somebody begin where they are Yeah.
怎样才能这样生活呢？
To start to live this way?
是的。
Yeah.
首先要考虑生活的平衡，因为生活太嘈杂了。
The first thing is the balance of life because life is so loud.
对吧？
Right?
所以你得先学会筛选。
So the first thing you have to do is you have to start to parse.
得把那些妨碍你的杂音剔除掉。
You have to start to weed out some of the noise that's stopping you.
对吧？
Right?
因为很多人其实看得见那个梦想，但梦想很模糊，因为工作挡着路，家庭挡着路，孩子、经济压力，一堆事情拦着。
Because there's so many people that can kinda see the dream, but it's fuzzy because the job is in the way, the family's in the way, the kids, money problems, there's stuff in the way.
我知道梦想就在那儿，但我得先处理好身边这些烦心事。
So I I know the dream is down there, but I I gotta deal with this stuff around me first.
对吧？
Right?
我懂这种感觉，因为作为电影制片人，你总得同时应付好几个项目，事情总是出岔子。
And I understand that because as a movie producer, you're always balancing multiple projects and everything's always going wrong.
这就是电影制片人的日常。
This is the life of a movie producer.
我从来不会接到电话说：嘿，就是想告诉你，片场一切顺利。
I never get a call with people calling and saying, hey, just wanted you to know everything's going great on set.
一切按计划进行。
We're on time.
所有演员都准时到场了。
We're on all the actors showed up.
一切都挺好的。
Everything's great.
我只是想打个电话告诉你一声。
I just wanna call and let you know.
我拍电影已经三十年了。
I never I've been producing movies for thirty years.
从来没接过这样的电话。
I've never gotten that call.
一次都没有。
Not once.
每次来电都是火上浇油，一团糟。
Every call is some five alarm fire that's burning, that is a disaster.
对吧？
Right?
所以我一直在处理这些烂摊子。
So I'm dealing with all these disasters.
人生就是这样，大家都这么觉得。
That's how people feel in life.
我的生活就是一个接一个的灾难，灾难，灾难，灾难。
My life is just a disaster, disaster, disaster, disaster.
对吧？
Right?
关键是这样。
So here's the thing.
你得把最重要的事当成最重要的事。
I believe you gotta make the main thing the main thing.
一定要让最重要的事始终是最重要的一件事。
You gotta keep the main thing the main thing.
明白吗？
Okay?
也就是说，当我接到一堆关于项目出问题的电话时，我会优先处理最需要我关注的那件事。
And what that means is that when I am getting all these calls about things going wrong with various projects, I focus on the thing that needs my attention the most.
我没法同时应付三起火情。
I can't put out three fires at once.
我真的做不到。
I just can't.
所以我只能先处理最紧急、火势最猛的那一个。
So I have to focus on the one that's burning the brightest or that is the most timely.
在我忙着处理这个的时候，我知道其他人肯定会打电话来，说：你怎么没过来？
And while I'm putting out that fire, I already know they're gonna be calling going, you're not over here.
我们需要你。
We need you.
我们需要你。
We need you.
我真去不了。
I can't do that.
我得专心处理这个。
I gotta focus on this.
等我处理完这个，就能转去应对别的事了。
Then once I do that, then I can switch and deal with something else.
你得把事情分开来处理。
You have to compartmentalize that.
生活中你也得这么干。
You have to do that in your life.
但关键在这儿，梅尔。
But here's the key, Mel.
说说看。
Tell me.
有时候，最重要的事其实是你自己。
Sometimes the main thing is you.
有时候，烧得最旺的那场火，就是你自己。
Sometimes the fire that's burning the brightest is you.
这是什么意思？
What does that mean?
如果你自己状态不好，就没办法帮别人。
If you're not okay, you can't help other people.
所以，要想把那些杂音慢慢过滤掉，就得时刻盯住当下最重要的事。
And so one of the ways that you can kinda start to weed out all the noise is to keep the main thing at that moment, the thing that you're focused on the most.
我们必须保护好自己的能量圈。
So we have to protect our energy circle.
然后你就可以对自己说，你知道吗？
Then you can start to say, you know what?
到了某个阶段，我的梦想、我长期的目标，才是今天最该投入精力的事。
At a certain point, my dream, my long term endeavor, that's the main thing that I gotta pour into today.
你得明白，孩子、家、工作，它们都会在心里问：那我呢？
And you gotta know, the kids, the house, the job, they're gonna be going, what about me?
那我呢？
What about me?
那我呢？
What about me?
不是的。
Uh-uh.
因为今天，我最关注的就是我的梦想，我正在投入的事情。
Because today, my main thing is my dream, is what I'm focused on.
我的追求，我的新阶段，我的第三幕。
My endeavor, my next level, my third act.
今天我专注的就是这个。
That's what I'm focused on today.
你知道吗？在你的书《除了你，还能有谁》里，让我印象最深的就是能量这个概念。
You know, one of the things that was a huge takeaway for me in your book, Who Better Than You, is this notion of energy.
你一直都在讲这个。
It's a big thing that you talk about.
把你的能量牢牢锁定在你的愿景上。
Keeping your energy locked on your vision.
你怎么才能把自己的能量始终集中在愿景和你想要的东西上？
How do you keep your energy locked on your vision and what you want?
因为你在这方面简直太在行了。
Because you seem to be a master at it.
是的。
Yeah.
说起来挺有意思的。
You know, it's interesting.
你提到负面能量。
You talk about negative energy.
我们都有一种想法，就是要证明给他们看。
We all have this, I'm gonna prove them wrong.
对吧？
Right?
我要让他们看到。
I am gonna show them.
我要让那些怀疑我、讨厌我、曾经不帮我的人看看。
I'm gonna show the doubters and the haters and the people that didn't help me.
我要让他们看看。
I'm gonna show them.
对吧？
Right?
没错。
Right.
那只是表面功夫。
That's superficial.
这种东西撑不了多久。
That only lasts so long.
对吧？
Right?
真正值得成就的事，肯定特别难。
Accomplishing anything worth accomplishing is gonna be really hard.
这事儿本来就不容易。
It's gonna be hard.
生活本来就不容易。
Life is hard.
这意味着你得有股持久的劲头，不能只靠‘我要让你看看’这种心态。
It means that you have to have a drive that's sustainable beyond just, I'm gonna show you.
对吧？
Right?
没错。
Yes.
光靠‘我要让你看看’，这股劲撑不了多久。
Because I'm gonna show you, it ain't lasting.
能持久的是，这件事深深打动了我，是我真正想要的，我值得拥有，我绝不会放弃，我一定会得到它。
What will last though is this is something that speaks to me that I want and I deserve and I'm not gonna stop until I get it, and I'm going to get it.
这才是能长久的。
That's sustainable.
这不是我和他们之间的对抗。
That's not me versus them.
那就是你在为自己加油打气，朝着目标前进。
That is you pushing and cheering your own self on towards that goal.
所以这就是我的做法。
So that's how I do it.
不是为了证明那些黑我的人错了。
It's not about, let me prove all my haters wrong.
不是为了让他们看看。
Let me show them.
根本不是这么回事。
That's not it.
而是我威尔·帕克配得上我正在追求的这一切，我不会停下，直到得到它，而且我也坚信它一定会实现。
It is Will Packer deserves to have this thing that I'm going after, and I'm not gonna stop until I get it, but I also am confident it's gonna happen.
我从不让自己觉得这事会失败。
I never let myself say it ain't gonna happen.
这确实有点了不起。
It is kind of remarkable.
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