如果这期节目都无法激励你，那就没什么能了

我们不需要很多法官。

We don't need a lot of judges.

我们不需要地区检察官。

We don't need a district attorney.

我们不需要这么多这样的人。

We don't need a lot of these people.

所以我后来才明白。

So I didn't understand until later on.

所以当我被判刑，要进监狱的时候，我吓得要死。

So then when I get sentenced and it's time for me to go to prison, I was scared to death.

我吓得要死。

I was scared to death.

我被判刑了。

I get sentenced.

我进了大牢。

I get up to the big house.

这是一堵高墙。

It's a big wall.

它叫‘监狱之最’。

It's called Greatest For Prison.

他们打开了那扇门。

They open that gate.

门在我们身后关上了。

The gate closed behind us.

我被戴上了手铐脚镣。

I'm shackled up.

我腰上系着一条皮带，上面连着手铐脚镣。

I got shackles running from a belt around my waist.

脚镣就在这里。

The shackles right here.

我双手被铐住，链条一直延伸到脚上，连着脚镣。

I'm cuffed, and it's going to my feet to my chains on my feet.

我进监狱时最想的是，看电视时看到这些场景，但从没想过自己也会有这一天。

The main thing that I'm thinking about when I go to prison, I'm looking at the TV and you just see all this stuff, but you never think it's gonna be you.

当人们生活在克朗的环境中时，没人会觉得自己有一天会进监狱。

Nobody think it's gonna be their turn to going to prison when they're part of the life of Crown.

每个人都觉得自己比系统更聪明。

Everybody think they smarter than the system.

对我来说，这简直太疯狂了。

So it was just crazy for me.

他们发给我们箱子，我们拿好东西，然后必须步行穿过关押普通囚犯的大院子，才能到达死囚区的牢房，因为我们是未成年人。

They give us our box, we get our stuff, we had to walk up, and we had to go through the general population where the big yard was at to get to the to the hole in death rowing where they had you locked in because we was juveniles.

当我们走过那条走廊时，我看到了这辈子见过的最魁梧的壮汉。

As we walked through that hallway, I've seen some of the biggest muscular human beings I ever seen in my life.

我简直不敢相信。

I couldn't believe it.

他们从院子里出来时，都赤着上身。

They coming out of yard, their shirts off.

我当时就想，求求你们别把我和他关在一个牢房里。

I'm like, I can please don't put me in a cell with him.

我不知道该说什么，我只是不停地求他们，求求你们了。

I don't know what I don't know this I'm like, I'm I'm just like, please.

他们最终把我们安排进了那个小号牢房，和我一起的另一个年轻小伙子，我永远都不会忘记，当我用枕头蒙住头时，因为我们俩都是未成年人，得共用一个牢房，我听见他在夜里哭，而我也在哭，想着家，想着再给我一次机会。

Oh, they wind up taking the cell hole, and the other younger guy that was with me, I'll never forget, as I covered my head with the pillow in that cell, because we shared the cell because we was both minors, I heard him cry as I was crying at night and wishing I was home and wishing I had another chance.

那一切真的很不一样，但正是从那时起，我踏上了在监狱中的道路和旅程。

And it just was it just was different, but that started my road and my journey being in prison.

从那以后，事情变得真实得多了。

And it just it got real after that.

事情继续变得越来越真实。

It kept it continued to continued to get real.

但发生的事是，我当时在牢房里。

But what happened was I was in the cell.

天气很热。

It was hot.

夏天。

Summertime.

没有空调，什么都没有。

No air conditioning, none of that.

我起身泼水洗脸。

And I got up to splash my face.

但当我起身泼水洗脸时，感觉恶魔在牢房里跳舞，因为里面热得要命。

But when I got up to splash my face, it was like the devil was dancing in the cell because it was so hot in there.

墙壁都在冒汗。

Walls were sweating.

我看着镜子，说：天啊。

And I just looked in the mirror and I said, damn.

你在这里，为了一个不是你的自己，白白浪费了这么长时间。

You in here doing all this time for being somebody you're not.

渴望融入一群根本不在乎你的人，这种力量足以毁掉你的一生。

The power the power of wanting to be down with a bunch of people that really don't care about you can destroy your life.

它可能会毁掉你的生活，即使这跟哭没有关系。

It can mess your life up, even if it's not about crying.

它可能只是因为我想和大学里那些人混在一起，因为他们被认为是主流群体；我想和这些人混，因为他们做生意，或者我只是想融入。

It could be about I just want to be down with these people in college because they supposed to be the in crowd, I just want to be down with these people because they do business, or I just want to be down.

它可能会毁了你，因为它让你远离了真实的自己。

It could mess you up because what it do is it remove you from you.

现在你必须变成另一个人，才能被那些和你一样呼吸、和你一样拥有二十四小时、喝着和你一样水的人接受。

And now you gotta be somebody else to be accepted by some other human beings that breathe like you, got twenty four hours like you, that drink the same water you drink.

你是在逗我吧。

You shitting me.

一旦我意识到这一点，那感觉简直疯狂。

So once I realized that, it was it was it was it was crazy.

我想回到你照镜子、反思自己为了成为不是自己的人而坐牢的那个时刻。

I wanna go back to that moment where you're looking in the mirror and you're reflecting on the fact that you're doing all this time in prison for being someone you're not.

我希望能听到你对正在聆听你、经历这种顿悟的人说些什么。

And I'd love to have you talk to the person that's having this epiphany as they're listening to you.

他们想着，我之所以身处此刻，是因为我一直扮演着不是自己的人。

And they're thinking, well, I am where I am because I've been being someone I'm not.

你。

You.

我在跟你说话。

I'm talking to you.

你就在那里。

You you right there.

你。

You.

你还不累呢。

You ain't tired yet.

你在外头扮演着一个不是你的角色。

You out there being somebody that you're not.

猜怎么着？

And guess what?

你一直在失去。

You just keep losing.

你感觉不对劲。

You don't feel right.

你知道自己没有达到想要的位置，因为你感觉不对劲，但你还是选择了这条路，因为你希望被一群连自己都不接纳的人接受。

You know you're not where you wanna be because you don't feel right, but you choose to take this path because you wanted to be accepted by a bunch of people that don't even accept theyself.

因为如果他们接纳了自己，就不会给你施加压力，让你和他们一样。

Because if they accepted theyself, they wanna put pressure on you to be with them.

他们为什么需要你留在身边？

Why do they need you to be around?

他们为什么需要你改变自己？

Why do they need you to change who you are?

好好想想。

Think about it.

但想想你正在经历的这段旅程，对自己说：等等。

But think about this journey you're going on and say to yourself, hold up.

这可能不适合我。

This might not be for me.

这可能不是我的想法。

This might not be my ideas.

这可能根本不是我想做的事，但人群告诉我应该这么做。

This might not really be what I wanna do, but the crowd is telling me I should do this.

人群告诉我，这才是酷的。

The crowd is telling me this is what's cool.

人群告诉我，这才是被接受的。

The crowd is telling me this is what accepted.

你什么时候才能对人群说去他的，开始接纳自己？

When you gonna say fuck the crowd and start accepting you?

你什么时候才能按下开关，彻底无视他们的想法？

When you gonna cut the fucking button on and say fuck what they think?

你到底在怕什么？

What you scared for?

你到底在等什么？

What what you waiting for?

你觉得时间站在你这边吗？

Like, you think time is on your side?

时间并不站在你这边。

Time is not on your side.

你唯一能依靠的就是决定放手所有不支持你的东西。

The only thing you got on your side is the decision to let go of everything that's not supportive to you.

所有那些强迫你改变自我，以迎合所谓对错观念的东西。

Everything that's forcing you to change who you are in order to be a part of this idea of what's right and what's wrong.

老兄，算了吧。

Man, come on.

这全是胡扯。

It's bullshit.

放手吧。

Let go.

获得自由。

Get free.

做你自己。

Be you.

爱你自己。

Love you.

足够尊重自己，选择你自己。

Respect yourself enough to choose you.

对自己说好，对他们说不。

Say yes to you and no to them.

哦，没错。

Oh, yeah.

我的新书也要出版了。

That's the new book coming out too.

我的新书。

My new book.

顺便也买一本。

And buy it while you're at it.

是的。

Yes.

买它。

Buy it.

嗯。

Yeah.

在你服刑快结束的时候，你开始写一本叫做《生命之书》的东西。

While near the end of the time that you were serving in prison, you started writing something called the book of life.

那是什么？你当时在上面写了些什么？

What was that and what were you writing in it?

《生命之书》是我白天写的东西，我经常写。

The book of life is something I wrote in the day and I used to write.

《生命之书》非常重要，因为我相信人们从不把东西写下来。

The book of life was very important because I believe people don't write stuff down.

对吧？

Right?

那对我来说是一件大事。

And that was a that was a major thing for me.

但在我写东西的过程中，什么——

But in the process of me writing stuff down, what-

你现在写的是什么？

What were you writing now?

你说人们不写东西是什么意思？

What do mean your people don't write stuff

下来？

down?

我希望我把它带来了。

I wish I had brung it.

我把一切都写下来了。

I wrote everything down.

我想去的那些州。

The states I wanted to go to.

我写下了出狱后我想吃的各种花生酱和果酱。

I wrote down the different peanut butters and jelly I wanted when I got out.

我想去的商店。

Stores I wanted to go to.

我想看的电影。

Movies I wanted to watch.

我想收集到我的MP3播放器里的歌曲。

Songs I wanted to collect in my in my m p three play.

我写下了所有的一切。

All I wrote down everything.

我想去的地方。

Places I wanted to go.

如果我在杂志上看到什么，我就会记下来。

If I seen something in a magazine, I'll write it down.

随便吧。

Whatever.

我总会把各种各样的事情记下来。

I will always write all types of stuff down.

你知道吗，我最喜欢你的一点是，你的故事证明了你所有的借口——我没有这个，我没有那个——都不成立。

You know, one of the things that I love about you is that your story proves that all of the excuses you have, I don't have this, I don't have that.

我的天，你可是在监牢里啊。

I mean, you're in a freaking prison cell for God's sakes.

嗯。

Mhmm.

你刑期还长着呢。

You still have years on your sentence.

是的。

Yep.

在那之后，你对坐牢有了如此非凡的思考方式。

And you had this incredible way that you thought about being in jail after that moment.

你能给我们解释一下这个突破吗？

Can you explain that breakthrough to us?

我以前常对人说，我不是在坐牢，我是在耶鲁。

I used to tell people, I'm not in jail, I'm in Yale.

我不是在监狱，我是在普林斯顿。

I'm not in prison, I'm in Princeton.

我不是在州立监狱，我是在宾州州立大学。

I'm not in the state pen, I'm in Penn State.

对吧？

Right?

那是什么意思？

What does that mean?

意思是我不只是在这儿闲坐着。

That mean that I'm not just sitting around in here.

我在这儿自我教育。

I'm in here educating myself.

他们不是负责教育我的，他们的职责只是关押我。

They're it's not their job to educate them me, it's their job to house me.

那时我对这件事着迷极了，我的大脑飞速运转，因为在宾夕法尼亚州的监狱里，你可以从狱内商店购买电视。

And at this time, was so crazy about it, my mind was clicking so much because in the state prisons of Pennsylvania, you could buy a TV off commissary.

虽然你能收到某些电视频道、有线频道之类的，但你需要付费。

Whereas though you get some certain TV channels, cable channels, whatever, you pay for it.

狱友们都经常说：你为什么总是换电视频道？

Cellies cellmates, they used to always say, why do you always turn the TV?

因为我一直在不停地换台。

Because I'm turning the TV all the time.

你是说换频道吗？

You mean flipping channels?

对。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

他就像说，有人来一下。

And he's like, someone come on.

我沉迷于广告。

I was addicted to commercials.

我沉迷于广告和营销，因为我总说：等等，伙计。

I was addicted to advertising and marketing because I always say, hold up, man.

我去麦当劳的时候，巨无霸从来不是那样的。

Big Mac never looked like that when I went at McDonald's.

它应该是乱糟糟的。

It's be sloppy.

它从来不是那样的。

It don't be like that.

有人不对劲。

Someone ain't right.

然后我意识到，哦，他们把这外包给了广告公司。

Then I realized, oh, they outsource that to advertising agencies.

我开始学习市场营销。

I start learning about marketing.

天啊。

Damn.

为什么汽车广告里，根据播放频道不同，会出现黑人、拉丁裔、亚裔演员？

Why is when they got the car commercial, they got a black person doing it, Latino person doing it, Asian person based off the channel.

哦，什么是市场营销？

Oh, what is marketing?

哦，我偶然看到一本叫《绝佳建议》的书，作者是乔治·刘易斯。

Oh, I ran into a book called damn good advice by George Lewis.

我读了所有这些关于游击营销的内容。

Oh, I'm reading all these, guerrilla market.

我开始学习市场营销。

I'm start learning about marketing.

我开始学习广告。

I start learning about advertisement.

我正在学习，哦，他们为这个花了这么多钱。

I'm learning about, oh, they paying all this money for that.

所以现在我开始更多地思考。

So now I'm start I'm thinking more.

我在想，我只是在看那个。

I'm thinking I'm just looking at that.

我在看那个。

I'm looking at that.

然后有一天，当我换台时，我遇到了这个人。

And then one day as I'm changing the channel, I come across this guy.

对吧？

Right?

我的一位导师。

One of my mentors.

对吧？

Right?

当我遇到一个瘦瘦的白人小伙子时。

When I come across a skinny guy, skinny white guy.

对吧？

Right?

我就想，这到底是怎么回事？

And I'm like, what's what's going on?

我看了看这里。

I look here.

第二天，他一直在吃东西。

The next day here, he just always eating food.

他的名字叫安东尼·波登，我的导师。

His name was Anthony Bourdain, my mentor.

所以当我看到他时，我想，等等。

So when I see him, I'm like, hold up.

安东尼·波登在他的节目中告诉我，世界就是你的游乐场。

Anthony Bourdain taught me in his cell that the world is your playground.

去玩吧。

Go play.

他教我，世界比你的街区要大得多。

He taught me that the world is bigger than your neighborhood.

他告诉我，威尔奥，他们在等你。

He taught me that, Wilo, they're waiting for you.

走出去，与你的同胞建立联系。

Go out there and connect with your people.

等待你到来的是人、地方和事物，上面还挂着牌子。

It's people, places, and things that's waiting for your arrival with a sign on it.

当我看到安东尼·波登的《未知之旅》，没有预订，延误结束时，我想，这家伙以前还吸毒。

When I see Anthony Bourdain, parts unknown, no reservations, delay over, I was like, this guy used to get high.

他把自己的生活整顿好了。

He got his life together.

他曾是纽约市的一名厨师。

He was a cook in New York City.

他是一位《纽约时报》畅销书作者。

He a New York time bestseller.

他没有让艰难的时光打倒他。

Life he didn't let hard times beat him up.

他的名字叫安东尼·波登。

And his name, Anthony Bourdain.

我虔诚地观看了每一集节目。

I watched every show religiously.

我从未停止观看他，因为安东尼·波登在我坐在牢房里时，给了我一本护照。

I never stopped watching him because Anthony Bourdain, he gave me a passport while I was sitting in the cell.

他通过电视节目跟我对话。

He used to talk to me through the TV show.

我当时想：天啊。

And I was like, damn.

因为这样的事终将发生。

Because this will happen.

当你来自我这样的地方时，如果你不愿意接触其他文化和思想，有时你会因为安东尼·博达因的肤色而错过一位导师。

When you come from where I come from, if you're not willing to be exposed to other cultures and other ideas, sometimes you'll miss out on a mentor like Anthony Bourdain based upon his color of a scanner.

我们如此努力地去寻找很多东西。

We work so hard to find so much.

当我们自身有这么多差异时，却很容易找到能将我们联系在一起的东西。

There's so many differences in ourself when it's so easy to find something that something that connect us.

他将我们联系在一起，因为他是一位老师，他能说他与我产生了共鸣，因为那时我并不知道自己在寻找他，但我感受到了他。

He connected us because he was a teacher, he was able to say he connected with me because it was like, I didn't know that I was looking for him, and I felt him.

在生活中，最伟大的时刻总是在你毫无准备、未曾期待时发生。

In life, the greatest moments is gonna happen when you're not prepared for them, when you're not looking for them.

有一只蚂蚁出现了，我以前叫他蚂蚁。

An ant came through I used to call him ant.

那只蚂蚁出现时，总是抽着烟，喝着热茶，吃着最疯狂的东西。

An ant came through and he just used be, like, smoking a cigarette, drinking a hot tea, eating the craziest stuff.

但那就像在说：沃利，出去生活吧。

But it was like, Wally, go out there and live.

它在等你。

It's waiting for you.

它在等我。

It's waiting for me.

我不会放弃。

I ain't give up.

我不能在纽约市过度强调我不会放弃。

I can't overdo I ain't give up in New York City.

我不会放弃。

I ain't give up.

安妮也没有放弃。

Anne didn't give up.

我不会放弃。

I ain't give up.

他所做的一切让我明白，我会走出去，我会创造安东尼·波登所创造的东西，但我要向人们展示我来自哪里。

And what he did, he showed me that I'm gonna get out, and I'm gonna create what Anthony Bourdain created, but I'm a show people that's where I'm from.

所以当我看着安东尼时，我在读关于乔治·刘易斯的书和资料。

So as I'm looking at Anthony, I'm reading books, stuff on George Lewis.

我读了所有这类东西。

I'm reading all this type of stuff.

我沉浸在大学的状态中，那就是全部了。

And I'm in there in this university mode, And that was the whole thing.

我没有在监狱里。

I'm not in prison.

我在普林斯顿。

I'm in Princeton.

我感觉，因为我相信在这里学到的信息，能让我出去赚到和现在常春藤盟校的人一样多的钱。

I felt as though, like because I felt as though the information that I could learn here, I could go out there and make as money make as much money as somebody that's in Ivy League right now.

但唯一不同的是，我得用我的生命来支付代价。

But the only thing different, I had to pay with my life.

我不必欠他们任何钱。

I ain't gotta I ain't gonna owe them no back money.

我不会欠他们任何肺。

I ain't gonna owe them no lungs.

我不必偿还那个。

I ain't gonna have to repay that.

我只需要出来表演。

I just gotta get out here and perform.

我得出来做我的事。

I gotta get out here and do my thing.

你看，你在这世上只为你表现得如何而获得报酬。

See, you only get paid for your performance in this life.

表现就是你每天起床，把你的精力投入到某件事中。

Performance is when you get up every day and you put your energy into something.

你只为你表现得如何而获得报酬。

You only get paid for your performance.

所以当你去上班，如果你有一份朝九晚五的工作，你是在为你的表现拿报酬。

So when you go if you got a nine to five, you're getting paid for your performance.

如果你做生意，你得到的报酬取决于你投入了多少。

If you got a business, you're getting paid for what you put into there.

你必须表现出来。

You gotta perform.

你表现得越多，就会越出色。

And the more you perform, the better you get.

如果你出去后得分越来越多，也不会自动拿到更大的合同。

If you after you go out there and you score more and more points, you won't get bigger, bigger deal.

所以，人生中你只为你自己的表现获得回报。

So it's about you only get paid for your performance in life.

没人会来救你。

Nobody is coming to save you.

没人会等着你。

Nobody's waiting for you.

没人会因为你‘我认识你’这种理由，从天上掉馅饼给你。

Nobody ain't shit falling out the sky for you based off of, oh, I know you.

你是我的朋友。

You're my friend.

哦，我们上同一所大学。

Oh, we went to the same college.

哦，我们来自同一个社区。

Oh, we're from the same neighborhood.

没人在乎那个。

Nobody give a fuck about that.

每个人都在努力赢。

Everybody trying to win.

所以去表现，去赢。

So perform and win.

如果你不这么做，你就完了。

And if you don't do that, you're done.

嗯，你刚才说了好多真知灼见。

Well, you were dropping so much wisdom.

我写得来不及，而且也不想打断你。

I cannot write fast enough, and I also do not want to interrupt you.

你刚才说话的时候，我脑海里浮现出三个人，他们需要听到这些。

As you've been talking just now, I have three people in my mind who need to hear this.

我敢打赌，当你现在听着、在YouTube上观看时，你也在想着某些人。

I bet as you're listening and as you're watching right now on YouTube, you have people that are coming to mind.

所以我们花一点时间深呼吸。

So we're gonna take a quick second to breathe.

在我们听赞助商广告的几秒钟里，我希望你花点时间，把这段对话分享给你在乎的人。

And while we're gonna listen to our sponsors for a few seconds, I want you to take a moment and share this conversation with someone you care about.

别走开，我们还有很多内容要聊，沃洛和我都会在短暂休息后等你，所以请继续留下。

And stick around, we've got so much more to cover, and Wallo and I are gonna be waiting for you after this short break, so stay with me.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your buddy Mel Robbins.

我希望你和我一样充满激情，因为沃洛，我真的不想浪费时间。

I hope you're feeling as fired up as I am because Wallo, I don't even wanna waste time.

我真的觉得，此刻和我们在一起的人，直到听到你今天要分享的全部信息之前，都不知道自己有多大的潜力。

I really feel like the person who is with us right now has no idea what they are capable of until they hear all the information that you're gonna be dropping on us today.

所以让我们直接继续吧。

So let's just jump right back in.

接下来我想问你一个问题。

And here's what I wanted to ask you next.

你也说过，心理上被囚禁在自由世界的人，比监狱里的人还要多。

You have also said that there are more people mentally incarcerated in the free world than in prison.

跟我谈谈这个观点。

Talk to me about that.

因为我特别喜欢这种大学模式，但人们却用各种荒谬的借口不去提升自己、不去学习、不去掌握新技能、不去寻求其他导师。

Because I love this university mode, and people use all kinds of freaking excuses to not improve themselves, to not educate themselves, to not learn new skills, to not educate to not seek out other mentors.

嗯。

Mhmm.

我认为你说得对，自由世界中精神上被囚禁的人比监狱里还多。

And I think you're right that there's more people incarcerated mentally in the free world than in prison.

但这对你来说意味着什么？你如何进入大学模式？

But what does that mean to you, and how do you get yourself into university mode?

因为你知道发生了什么吗？

Because you know what's happened?

告诉我。

Tell me.

当人们刚进监狱时，刚从街头来，我经常会盘问他们。

When people used to come to prison, they fresh off the streets, I used to interrogate them.

我会盘问他们关于街头自由世界的生活是什么样的，因为我从不希望自己成为那个被困住的人。

I used to interrogate them about what life is on the streets in the free world because I had I I never wanted to be the person that was stuck.

很多人的家人入狱后，就会停留在他们被监禁的那段时光里。

A lot of people, when your family member go to prison, they're stuck in the time that they was incarcerated.

所以我不想被困在那里。

So I didn't wanna be stuck there.

所以，为了不被困在那里，每个刚进监狱的人，我都会审问他们。

So in order for me not to be stuck there, everybody that would come to prison, I would interrogate them.

有时候，我会让监区里的一名狱警帮忙，就是那个……你知道的，还不错，我让他把我的牢房当成中转室。

Sometime I would had a would had a CO on the block, the one that was, you know, alright, I had him keep my cell as a transit cell.

所以，当有人进来，只待一两周，我就换一个人，因为我喜欢熬夜，不停地问别人关于外面世界的问题。

So when somebody come and they ain't not being in there for long for, a week or two, then I get somebody else because I used to love to stay up and just ask people questions about the free world.

所以，有个孩子在院子里跟我讲了谷歌的事。

So this kid told me about Google in the yard.

于是我们走到院子里。

So we walk in the yard.

他说，他有个叫谷歌的东西，老兄。

He said, he has this thing called Google, man.

我可以查到任何人的任何信息。

I can find anything about anybody.

我说，嗯，这挺不错的。

I said, yeah, that's decent.

他说，能查到关于你的各种信息。

He said, can find stuff out about you.

我看着他，说：‘哥们，你当我傻吗？’

I looked at him and said, man, you think I'm stupid?

我虽然在坐牢，但我不笨。

I've been in jail, but I'm not dumb.

我早就离开地球了，根本不在这个世界上了。

Get I ain't been I ain't even on the planet Earth no more.

你怎么可能找到我在这儿？

How you gonna find I'm in here.

没人知道我的任何事。

Ain't nobody know nothing about me.

于是我输入了我的名字，结果一大堆信息都弹出来了。

So I typed my name in here, wireless people, and I'm like, all this stuff popped up.

我把手机掉在地上了。

I dropped the phone.

我当时想，天啊，联邦调查局盯上我了。

I'm like, Damn, the Fed's on me.

中情局，他们正在监视我。

The CIA, they watching me.

我不知道发生了什么，因为我从没见过这种事。

I didn't know what was going on because I never seen nothing like this.

我一直都在监狱里。

I've been in prison all this time.

这大概是2000年，2013年、2012年，差不多那时候。

This is 2000 like, twenty thirteen, twelve, something like that.

我也不确定。

I don't even know.

所以我想，拿到这个之后，我就开了社交媒体，267就是从这儿来的，Wallow 267。

So I'm like, once I got that, I set up the social media, and that's where the 267 come from, wallow 267.

267是我的监号，DG 267。

267 was my prison number, DG 267.

当我去注册Instagram时，有人已经用了这个名字，所以我不得不加上267。

And when I go to set up the Instagram, somebody had wild up, so I had to add the 267.

对。

Yeah.

虽然那是费城的邮政编码，但同时也是我的号码。

Even though that's the Philly ZIP code, but it also was my number.

我的意思是，那是费城的区号。

I mean, it's Philly area code.

但不管怎样，当我开始使用社交媒体并看到现实生活中的其他人时，我想：等等。

But whatever the case may be, when I went on social media and I started seeing people in life, I'm like, hold up.

每个人都被某种观念束缚着，认为自己应该成为别人眼中的样子。

Everybody was locked into an idea what they think they should be based off of somebody else.

我看到的是不同的城市。

And I was just seeing different cities.

我看到一大堆人都在做同样的事，我想：我小时候可不是这样的。

I just seen a bunch of people doing the same thing, and I'm like, it wasn't like that when I was growing up.

梅尔，如果你在波士顿上学，你根本不知道杜克大学的人在做什么。

Mel, if you going to school in Boston, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke.

如果你上的是波士顿学院，你也不知道杜克大学的人在做什么。

If you went to Boston College, you ain't know what they was doing in Duke.

你根本不知道，因为我们那时候没有社交媒体来连接这些信息。

You ain't know what because we didn't have no social media to connect it.

所以我们现在生活在一个每个人都模仿别人的世界上。

So now we living in a world where everybody emulating everybody.

每个人都留着同样的发型。

Everybody got the same hairstyle.

他们都穿同样的衣服。

They wear the same clothes.

没人会去认真思考一下。

Wear nobody like, like, gotta think about it.

那些大人物，要是在以前，他们根本不可能得到这些东西，也不可能有这种影响力，因为如果你没上过奥普拉的节目。

Some of these big people, they would have never got this stuff or they would have never had this influence back in the day because if you ain't get on Oprah.

奥普拉或者MTV，没人正确。

Oprah or MTV, nobody Correct.

知道过，所以我现在想，等等。

Knew about So now I'm like, hold up.

再也没人有独立思考了。

Don't nobody got no independent thought no more.

所以我想到，外面监狱里的人更多。

So I'm like, oh, there's more people out there in prison.

我心想，外面肯定很容易。

I'm a oh, it's easy it's gonna be easy out there.

被监禁的人比实际被监禁的还多，因为外面每个人脑子里都围着一个牢笼。

There's more people incarcerated than it is incarcerated because everybody out there walking around with a they walking around with a cell around their brain.

你怎么向那些没意识到自己脑子里有牢笼的人解释呢？

And how would you describe that to somebody who doesn't realize that they're in a cell in their brain?

因为他们害怕。

Because they they're afraid.

我说他们在牢笼里，是因为他们害怕走出去做自己想做的事。

The reason I say they're in a cell because they're afraid to go out there and do what they wanna do.

所以他们即使在牢笼里，也是因为担心别人的看法，担心别人怎么看待你。

So they even in a cell based off you're in a cell based off worrying about people opinions, worrying about how people think of you.

所以你现在动不了了。

So now you can't move.

你动不了了。

You can't move.

你被困在一个牢笼里，只想跟着别人做。

You're in a cell where you just, I'm just gonna follow what they doing.

我不想有自己的想法。

I don't wanna have my own thoughts.

我只是这个群体的一部分，但我甚至不知道自己为什么是这个群体的一员，但我觉得成为这个群体的一员也没问题。

I'm a part of this group that I don't even know why I'm a part of this group, but I think it's okay to be a part of this group.

我可能只是因为成长的环境、我的父母以及他们给我的影响，才成为这个群体的一部分。

And I might only be a part of this group because where I was raised, who my parents are, the influence they gave me.

我都不知道我为什么在这儿。

I don't even know why I'm here.

确实如此。

It's true.

你知道有多少人只是那样，停滞不前吗？

You know how many people that just like, hold up.

我是这个群体的一部分。

I'm a part of this.

我是这个群体的一部分。

I'm a part of this.

他们会跟你争论，为什么你认为加入某个群体是错的。

And they will argue with you about why you're so wrong about being a part of something.

你想想，你甚至都说不出自己为什么属于这个群体，却还跟别人争论，说他们错了，说他们不属于那边的那个群体。

And you like, I don't even you you can't even tell me why you're a part of what you what you arguing with somebody else and telling them that they wrong or they ain't part of this over there.

好好想想吧。

Think about that.

人们只是因为别人告诉他们要成为某一部分，或者因为他们的妈妈是某一部分、爸爸是某一部分，或者他们社区里的人是某一部分，就觉得自己属于某个群体。

People is just a part of something based because somebody told them to be a part of something or just because their mom was a part of something, their dad was a part of something, or people in their community was a part of something.

他们根本不知道为什么。

They don't even know why.

确实如此。

It's true.

然后人们在生命中的某个阶段，就会发生你所说的那种情况。

And then people get to a point in their life, and exactly what you said happens.

你开始说：我其实不喜欢我的生活。

You start to say, I don't really like my life.

我不喜欢自己的感受。

I don't like how I feel.

我为什么要这么做？

Why am I doing this?

我为什么要当会计师？

Why am I an accountant?

我怎么会进监狱的？

How did I end up in jail?

我是怎么娶了这个人呢？

Like, what is why did I marry this person?

这就是问题所在。

This is the issue.

我意识到这就是发生的事。

And I realized this is what happened.

我们没有重视每个人生命中最重要的东西。

We don't value the most important thing in every human being life.

我们把它用在了错误的地方。

We use it for the wrong things.

我们用它来追求虚荣。

We use it for manity.

你生命中最重要的东西，总会告诉你真相。

We use it for the most important thing in your life will always tell you the truth.

即使你逃避，它依然对你真实，镜子永远会向你展示你真正的样子。

Even if you duck it, will always be real for you, will always show you who you truly are is the mirror.

不是你的朋友，也不是别人的表演。

Not your friend, not somebody's show.

镜子永远不会对你撒谎。

The mirror will never lie to you.

因为当你照镜子时，你看到的是在无人相伴、无人注视时的你自己。

Because when you look in that mirror, you see who you is when nobody else is around, when nobody else is looking.

当你起床，头发凌乱，没刮胡子，口气难闻，无论是什么情况，你去洗脸之前，先去上厕所，走过镜子时看到自己，所有答案都在那里。

When you get about the bed and your hair not done, you've not got that shave, your breath's stinking or whatever it is, and you go and you go to splash water on your face, even before that, you go to use the bathroom and you walk by that mirror and you see yourself, you got all the answers there.

你只是不断逃避它。

You just keep running away from it.

你害怕做自己。

You're scared to be you.

你害怕面对镜子里那赤裸裸的真相。

You're scared to be the raw truth is there in that mirror.

这就是赤裸裸的真相。

That's the raw truth.

但你却用它来追求虚荣。

But you use it for vanity.

你知道镜子最疯狂的地方是什么吗？

And you know what's crazy about the mirror?

很多时候，当你照镜子时，你们很多人被别人对未来你的看法所操控。

A lot of times when you go to the mirror, a lot of y'all be getting pimped by people future perceptions of you.

威尔会被人操控。

Willy be getting pimped.

因为当你早上照镜子时，你知道你用它来做什么吗？

Because when you go to the mirror in the morning, you know what you use it for?

用它来做些无聊的事。

Use it for dumb stuff.

你去照镜子，尤其是家里那个大镜子，或者你穿衣打扮的地方，你站在镜子前，看着自己，然后对自己说：哦，我不喜欢这样。

You go to the mirror, especially if you got the big mirror in your living room or where you getting dressed at, you put all your stuff when you're looking at it and you say to yourself, oh, I don't like this.

不是你不喜欢这个。

It's not that you don't like this.

是你觉得同事不会喜欢。

You don't think the people at work is gonna like it.

是你觉得你要去的地方不会喜欢。

You don't think the place that you're going to is gonna like it.

婚礼、派对，不管什么场合。

The wedding, the party, whatever.

这已经跟你自己没关系了。

It's not even about you no more.

你看，你用镜子的方式错了。

See, you using a mirror in the wrong way.

你应该用镜子来激励自己，和自己进行真诚的对话，真正看清你是谁。

You're supposed to be using the mirror to empower yourself and have real conversations with yourself and really look at who you truly are.

但你从不用镜子来做这些。

But you don't use the mirror for that.

你用镜子来炫耀。

You use the mirror for vanity.

你用镜子来不断打击自己。

You use the mirror to keep punching yourself back.

你什么时候才会用镜子来激励自己？

When you're use the mirror to lift yourself up?

你什么时候才会用镜子来推动自己前进？

When you're gonna use the mirror to get you get forward?

你什么时候才能不再当胆小鬼？

When you're gonna stop being a scaredy cat?

你什么时候才能长大？

When you gonna grow up?

猜怎么着？

Guess what?

时间不会等你。

Time is not on your side.

总有一天你最好意识到这一点。

One day you better realize that.

好好利用这面镜子。

Take advantage of the mirror.

我该怎么做呢？

How do I do that?

我的意思是，我是认真的。

Like, I I really mean this.

我不是随口问个老生常谈的问题，因为诚实地面对自己

I don't mean this like a cliche question because being honest with yourself

嗯。

Mhmm.

是一件非常困难的事。

Can be a very difficult thing to do.

是的。

Yeah.

太多人长期处于错误的关系中，留在让他们痛苦的工作里，总是选择当下更轻松的选项，却让生活变得更艰难，比如酗酒、超支消费，或与那些根本不是真朋友、只会拖你后腿的人交往。

So many people sit in the wrong relationship for years, they stay in a job that makes them miserable, they keep making choices that are the easier choice now, but it makes your life harder, whether that's drinking too much or spending money that you don't have or spending time with people that really aren't your people and bring you down.

你如何才能达到那种诚实的时刻？

How do you have that moment of honesty?

因为对你来说，这并不是立刻发生的。

Because it didn't happen immediately for you.

你的人生中经历了那么多糟心事，承受了那么多痛苦，才终于到了一个地步，心想：我受够了这些破事。

There was so much shit that went down in your life, and so much pain that you had to experience to get to a point where you're like, I'm just done with this shit.

我之所以走到这么不快乐的地步，是因为我活成了不是自己的样子，我必须改变。

I got to this unhappy place by being someone I'm not, and I need to change.

那么，我该如何使用镜子——不是为了虚荣，而是真正引发那种你必须面对的真相时刻，从而彻底改变你的生活？

So how can I use the mirror, not for vanity, but to truly cause that kind of moment of truth that you need to have in order to change your life for the better?

梅尔，看着我。

Mel, look at me.

我正在跟你个人说话。

I'm talking to you personally.

好的。

Okay.

你知道你说的‘随他们去’是什么意思吗？

You know how you say, let them?

去他们的。

Fuck them.

好的。

Okay.

必须做你自己。

Gotta be you

必须对它采取强硬手段。

gotta be violent with it.

当我所说的内在暴力，这种暴力必须发生，但不是针对任何人。

And when I say violent in the inside, this violence gotta take place, not to anybody else.

好的。

Okay.

但你必须内心狠一点，对自己说：你知道吗？

But you gotta be ruthless within to say, you know what?

我受够了你利用我。

I'm tired of you taking advantage of me.

我受够了你出现在我的生活中。

I'm tired of you being in my life.

很多人在外面和敌人睡在一起。

A lot of people is out here sleeping with the enemy.

他们最大的敌人，就是躺在他们身边的人。

Their biggest hater is somebody that's laying next to them.

他们最大的敌人，是他们的朋友之一。

Their biggest hater is one of their friends.

他们最大的敌人，是他们的父母之一。

Their biggest hater is one of their parents.

他们最大的敌人，是他们的兄弟姐妹之一。

Their biggest hater is one of their siblings.

你必须对此坚定立场。

You got to be bound about it.

让他们去搞他们自己的吧。

Let them fuck them.

去他们的。

Fuck them.

说出来吧，梅尔。

Say it, Mel.

去他们的。

Fuck them.

大声点说出来，梅尔。

Say it louder, Mel.

去他们的。

Fuck them.

操。

Fuck.

在三秒内，一，我们要一起说，二，三。

On the count of three, One, we're gonna say it two, three.

去他们的。

Fuck them.

你得这样子。

You gotta be like that.

我们不会永远待在这儿的，梅尔。

We're not gonna be here forever, Mel.

我们得走了。

We gotta leave.

在你接受你必须离开的现实之前，你都会为了别人的利益而讨好他们。

And until you embrace the reality that you gotta leave, you're gonna keep catering to somebody else for their benefit.

梅尔，你什么都有。

Mel, you got it all.

你有钱。

You got money.

你行的。

You got this.

你有那个。

You got that.

但在你生命的某个时刻，你必须彻底切断对梅尔的依赖。

But somewhere in your life, you gotta cut that fucking button on Mel.

就连梅尔也得这么做。

Even Mel gotta do that.

梅利，梅利。

Melly Mel.

来吧，梅利，梅利。

Come on, Melly Mel.

我朋友都这么叫我，而且

That's what my friends call me, and

我正在学这份工作。

I'm school that work.

你必须能够面对你自己。

You gotta be able to even you.

是的。

Yes.

你真的必须能够做到，你越经常这么说，就会变得越成功、越自由，因为你意识到自己一直被他人的看法所束缚。

You gotta be able actually, the more you actually say it, the more successful and free you become because you realize you have been a prisoner to other people's opinions.

你一直被束缚于为他人提供便利。

You've been a prisoner to making things easier for everybody else.

你一直被束缚于选择容易的决定，因为你不想做出艰难的选择。

You've been a prisoner to the easy decisions because you didn't wanna make the hard one.

当你能够真正选择更艰难的道路时，这种自由才会到来。

And that freedom comes when you are able to truly choose the harder path.

首先，要对自己诚实。

Be honest with yourself first.

那招儿不管用。

That shit's not working.

真正不起作用的主要事情是你自己以及你所做的决定。

And the main thing that's not working is you and the decisions that you're making.

别再责怪别人了。

And stop blaming everybody else.

还有另一件事。

Like, that's the other thing.

关键是，你必须真正去做那件大事，然后说：去他们的。

The bottom line is you got to really do the big thing, and you gotta say, fuck them.

你必须像那样，因为如果你一直这样，事情就是如此。

You gotta like like, because it can't be if you keep because this what it is.

嗯。

Yeah.

你一直在和自己谈判、反复 renegotiate，其实你两年前就该和他们断绝关系了。

You keep negotiating with yourself and renegotiating with yourself, you're supposed to cut them off two years ago.

他们早就告诉过你，他们不想再和你来往了。

They've been told you that they do not deal with you.

他们并不支持你。

They do not support you.

他们并不重视

They do not value

你知道什么更有趣吗？

You know what's even more interesting?

你知道关于燕子这件事为什么如此重要吗？

You know what's even more interesting about the swallow and why this is so important?

事实上，十次中有九次，你必须说的‘去他们的’其实更多是关于你自己的抗拒，以及你脑海中编造的、关于你做这件事时别人会怎么想的胡言乱语。

Is that nine times out of 10, the fuck them that you have to say is really more about your own resistance and bullshit that you're making up in your mind about what you think other people are going to think if you do the thing.

就像，甚至在那之前，如果有人对你不好，这很明显，你一眼就能看出来。

Like, it's even like before, it's one thing if somebody treats you poorly, that's pretty obvious when it's happening.

但你对自己却如此苛刻，比如说，你想开设一个YouTube频道，或者想进入房地产行业，或者想重返护理学校。

But you treat yourself so poorly because let's say you wanna start a YouTube channel or you wanna go into real estate or you wanna go back to nursing school.

大多数人限制自己，并不是因为别人实际说了什么，而是因为你对自己说的话。

Most people hold themselves back not because of what other people are actually saying, but because of what you're saying to yourself.

我不能进入房地产行业，因为我的朋友会觉得我在模仿他们。

Well, I can't go into real estate because my friend will think I copy them.

让我告诉你一件事。

Let me tell you something.

事实上，根本没人关心你在做什么。

The reality is don't nobody give a fuck about what you're doing.

根本没人会在意，没人关心。

Don't nobody really like, nobody gives a fuck.

大家都以为自己很重要，觉得每个人都在关注你，但其实根本没人关心你在做什么。

Like, don't know like, everybody keep thinking that they're so important that every man, nobody gives a fuck about what you're doing.

他们其实没你想象的那么在意。

Like, don't care as much as you think they care.

很多事情都是心理游戏。

Like, lot of stuff is a mind game.

很多这种烂事都是我自己搞出来的。

A lot of this shit be mine.

我们会在心里斗争，然后说：等等。

And we'd be battling in our mind and we'd be like, hold up.

或者我得走这条路，因为他们会这么说。

Or they I gotta go this way because they gonna say this.

我得这么做，因为他们会这么说。

I gotta do this because they gonna say this.

我得穿这个，因为他们会这么说。

Gotta wear this because they gonna say this.

老兄，别管他们怎么想。

I man, fuck what they think.

总之，你得愿意让人对你生气，但正因如此，你才必须对自己说好，对他们说不。

At the end of the day, you gotta be willing to have people mad at you, but that's why you gotta say yes to you and no to them.

对。

Yes.

说不的自律，以及随之而来的自由。

The discipline of saying no and the freedom that follows.

去把那本书拿来。

Get that book.

但听好了，归根结底，没错。

But listen, at the end of the day yeah.

你必须买我的书。

You gotta get my book.

马上就来。

It's coming.

听好了。

Listen.

归根结底，这就是我创作《对自己说yes》的原因，因为现在人人都在说，我们生活在一个只要你点头就是英雄的世界。

At the end of the day, that's why I created yes to you because it's like everybody's saying, like, we live in this world where as though if you say yes, you're the hero.

如果你说不，你就是受害者。

If you say no, you create a victim.

我们生活在一个充满操控的世界里。

Like, we live in this manipulative world today.

每个人都在说，我知道自己是个受害者。

Everybody is using words, I know I'm a victim.

这不对劲。

This ain't go right.

这不对劲。

This ain't go right.

听好了，我们每个人都在其中扮演角色。

Listen, we all play a part.

如果你今天坑了我，梅尔，而我允许你坑我，那我就喜欢被坑。

If you fuck me over today, Mel, and I allow you to fuck me over, I like being fucked over.

就是这样。

That's it.

这就是双重责任，对吧？

That's dual accountability, right?

我得说，我们都得负责，对吧？

I gotta be like, we both accountable, right?