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嘿。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend, Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
你有没有看过别人的生活，心想，他们怎么这么幸运？
Have you ever looked at someone else's life and thought, how do they get so lucky?
我的意思是，他们似乎总能遇到对的人，抓住对的机会，一次又一次地在对的时间出现在对的地方。
I mean, they always seem to meet the right person, land the right opportunities, always seem to be in the right place at the right time over and over again.
而与此同时，你却在这里努力工作。
And meanwhile, here you are doing the work.
你有能力。
You're capable.
你一直在坚持。
You're showing up.
你正在尝试。
You're trying.
但感觉事情从来不会向你有利的方向发展。
But it feels like things never break your way.
好像永远轮不到你。
Like it's never gonna be your turn.
好事情不会发生在像你这样的人身上。
And good things don't happen for someone like you.
但让我问你一个问题。
But let me ask you this.
如果你能扭转运气，你不想吗？
If you could turn your luck around, wouldn't you?
这听起来可能有点老套，但今天是你的幸运日，因为我们今天请到了一位来自斯坦福大学的非凡专家，她几十年来一直在研究运气的科学。
Well, this may sound cheesy, but today is your lucky day because we have an extraordinary expert from Stanford today who has spent decades studying the science of luck.
她要告诉你，大多数人并不是运气不好。
And she's here to tell you that most people aren't unlucky.
他们只是不了解运气的科学是如何运作的。
They just don't understand how the science of luck works.
你看，她一直在研究，为什么一些像你一样聪明、有动力的人会停滞不前，而另一些拥有相同资源、同样不确定的人却能不断前进。
See, she's been researching why some intelligent, motivated people just like you are staying stuck, while others with the same resources, the same uncertainty, well, they just keep moving forward.
运气不是一种性格特质。
Luck isn't a personality trait.
它不是你与生俱来的，也绝对不是你坐等它降临的东西。
It's not something you're born with, And it's definitely not something you sit around and wait for.
运气是通过你的行动和心态建立起来的。
Luck is built through your actions and your mindset.
今天你会学到所有相关内容，但我要明确一点。
You're gonna learn all about it today, but let me be clear about something.
创造自己的运气和你生活中的境遇——也就是命运——之间有着天壤之别。
There is an enormous difference between creating your own luck and the circumstances of your life, which is fortune.
你出生在哪里，你现在正在应对的任何情况，以及这个世界上那些你无法控制的不公和残酷之事。
Where you're born, whatever it is that you're dealing with right now, the unfair and cruel things that are happening in the world that you can't control.
但运气，是你在面对这些因素时，通过你的选择、你抓住的机会和你愿意承受的风险所创造出来的。
But luck, luck is what you create in spite of those things through the choices you make, the chances you take, and the risks you are willing to live through.
我非常高兴你在这里，因为在这集中，你将学会如何彻底改变你的思维模式，如何改变你的行为，如何利用所有这些科学和研究，让你成为你认识的人中最幸运的一个。
I am so excited that you're here because in this episode, you're gonna learn how to radically change your mindset, how to change your actions, how to leverage all this science and research so you can become one of the luckiest people you know.
你知道，我不但主持这个节目，也在像你一样倾听和学习。
You know, I not only host this show, I'm also listening and learning just like you are.
在听了我们节目中这些出色的专家分享后，我开始尝试多吃蛋白质，因为所有这些专家都告诉我，蛋白质是构建和维持肌肉的重要方式之一。
And after hearing from our incredible experts on this podcast, I have been trying to eat more protein because all these experts taught me that protein is one of the ways that you build and keep muscle.
肌肉是你能量、力量和长期健康的核心动力。
Muscle is the engine that powers your energy, your strength, and your long term health.
我听到很多专家建议早上摄入30克蛋白质。
And I've heard a lot of the experts recommend 30 of protein in the morning.
我可以坦诚地说，那些我达到这个目标的早晨，我感觉更好、更有活力、更专注，脾气也没那么暴躁，也不会在半小时后又想找零食吃，但真的很难做到。
Now I can tell you from experience, the mornings I hit that number, I feel better, I'm more energized, more focused, I'm less snippy, I'm not hunting for a snack thirty minutes later, but it's so hard.
无论我多么努力，似乎都无法达成我的每日目标。
It seemed like no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't meet my daily goal.
因此，我开始与我在播客中邀请的那些医学和营养专家合作，创造一种之前并不存在的东西。
That's why I started working with the same medical and nutritional experts that I feature on the podcast to create something that didn't exist.
结果呢？
The result?
纯智蛋白。
Pure Genius Protein.
每瓶3.38盎司，符合航空安检标准，含有23克优质蛋白。
It's 23 grams of high quality protein in a TSA friendly 3.38 ounce bottle.
专为忙碌的日程、旅行、长时间轮班或食欲不振的日子设计。
It's made for busy schedules, travel, long shifts, low appetite days.
它能为你的锻炼以及一切日常活动提供能量。
It'll fuel your workouts and everything in between.
我非常喜欢我们打造的这款产品，因为纯智蛋白让你在外出时也能轻松、美味地达成每日蛋白摄入目标。
I love the product that we created because Pure Genius Protein makes it easy and delicious to hit your daily protein goals, especially when you're on the go.
本周，使用代码 Mel 在 puregenusprotein.com 下单首单可享8折优惠。
This week, save 20% on your first order at puregenusprotein dot com when you use code Mel.
此外，还提供30天无理由退款保证。
Plus, there's a thirty day money back guarantee.
嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎来到《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》。
Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
我非常高兴你在这里。
I am so excited that you're here.
我期待今天我们之间的对话。
I'm excited for our conversation today.
能和你相聚，共度这段时光，我感到无比荣幸。
It's such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you.
如果你是新听众，或者有人把这期节目推荐给你，我想亲自欢迎你加入《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》大家庭。
And if you're new or somebody sent this episode to you, I just wanna personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
今天的嘉宾是我一直想邀请坐下来聊聊的人，因为她的研究完全围绕着运气的科学。
Today's guest is someone I have wanted to sit down with for a long time because her work is all about the science of luck.
没错。
That's right.
你可以学会如何成为一个更有运气的人。
You can learn how to become a luckier person.
我正在谈论的是博士。
I'm talking about Doctor.
蒂娜·西利格。
Tina Seelig.
博士。
Doctor.
西利格博士在斯坦福大学医学院获得神经科学博士学位，专注于神经可塑性，她在斯坦福大学工作了二十五年以上，担任创业学教授、斯坦福技术创业计划荣誉主任，以及斯坦福大学奈特-亨西学者项目的执行主任。
Seelig earned her PhD in neuroscience at Stanford Medical School with a specific focus on neuroplasticity and has spent over twenty five years at Stanford University, where she's a professor of entrepreneurship, the director emerita of the Stanford Technology Ventures Program, and executive director of Knight Hennessy Scholars at Stanford University.
她还撰写了18本书，包括广受欢迎的畅销书《我希望20岁时知道的事》，以及她最新出版的《我希望了解的关于运气的事》，这正是我们今天要讨论的主题。
She's also the author of 18 books, including her wildly popular bestseller, What I Wish I Knew When I Was 20, and her latest book, What I Wish I Knew About Luck, is what we're gonna be talking about today.
在书中，她提出了一个强有力的区分，我认为这将改变你对生活的看法。
In it, she makes a powerful distinction that I think is gonna change how you think about your life.
命运是你所拿到的牌。
Fortune is the hand you've been dealt.
运气是你如何打这张牌。
Luck is how you play it.
运气是一种技能，通过抓住机会、结识他人、主动争取你想要的东西，并坚持足够长的时间，直到大门敞开而培养出来的。
Luck is a skill built by taking chances, meeting people, asking for what you want, and staying in the game long enough for the doors to open.
这就是今天我们要讨论的核心。
That's what today is all about.
所以，请大家热烈欢迎博士。
So please help me welcome Doctor.
蒂娜·赛利格做客梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Tina Seelig to the Mel Robbins podcast.
我再高兴不过了。
I could not be more delighted.
非常感谢你邀请我。
Thank you so much for having me.
我对我们要讨论的主题感到非常兴奋。
I am thrilled about the topic that we're gonna talk about.
我非常喜欢你的研究，也感谢你抽出时间来分享关于运气以及如何利用它改善生活的研究成果。
I love your research and thank you for taking time out of your schedule to come and share all of this research around luck and how we can use it to improve our lives.
我想从这里开始。
And I think that's where I wanna start.
所以你能跟我以及现在和我们在一起的听众谈谈吗？如果我们真正应用你今天要教我们的所有内容，我们的生活会发生什么变化？
So could you talk to me and the person that's here with us right now and just tell what might change about our lives if we really apply everything you're about to teach us today?
我非常高兴能分享这些信息，因为当人们意识到自己在生活中拥有更多主动性时，他们会明白自己每天都有可以使用的杠杆，让自己变得更幸运。
I couldn't be more delighted to share this information because when people understand that they have more agency in their lives, they realize that they have levers they can use every single day to make themselves luckier.
当你谈到运气时，西莉格博士，你指的是什么？
When you talk about luck, doctor Seelig, what are you talking about?
那意味着什么？
What does that mean?
首先，请叫我蒂娜。
First of all, please call me Tina.
运气的定义是表面上由偶然造成的成功或失败。
The definition of luck is success or failure apparently caused by chance.
成功或失败，表面上由偶然造成。
Successor failure apparently caused by chance.
但是但那个‘表面上’是什么意思
But but what is the apparently in
呢？
there for?
这正是重点。
That's the point.
我的意思是，这真的很重要。
I mean, this is really important.
‘表面上’这个词，看起来似乎是运气，但实际上，你做了某些事情，吸引了好运向你靠近。
The word apparently, it looks on the surface as though it's chance, but really underneath, there are things that you have done to tempt good luck your way.
哦，明白了。
Oh, okay.
所以我想确认一下我有没有理解对，也想确保和我们在一起的这位听众也听明白了。
So I wanna make sure that I am tracking, and I wanna make sure that as the person who's with us is listening, we got that.
因为我觉得那句话下面藏着一个小宝藏，那就是：我们常常把事情归因于运气，但你说，一旦我们理解了你即将教我们的所有内容，那些我们过去只归因于运气——无论是好运还是坏运——的事情，我们都可以回溯并说：实际上，是我自己推动了某些事情，而我却没有意识到这一点，正是这些行动让这个看似偶然的事件发生了。
Cause I think that there was a little treasure buried beneath that, which is oftentimes the things that we attribute to luck are you saying that once we understand everything you're about to teach us, that those things we once just attributed to luck, bad luck or good luck, we could trace back and say, actually, there was something that I set in motion that I'm not giving myself credit for that made this chance thing happen.
没错。
Exactly.
事实上，我们经常用‘运气’这个词来谦虚地说，哦，
And in fact, we often use the word luck to humbly say, oh,
这跟我没什么关系。
I didn't have anything to do with this.
但如果你仔细分析，就会发现真正促成好运发生的原因。
But if you actually unpack it, you'll see what actually happened to bring that good luck your way.
或者人们并不理解自己做了哪些事让自己变得更幸运。
Or people don't understand the things they did to make themselves luckier.
因此，我一直在剖析‘apparently’背后的种种因素，以揭示人们实际上在做哪些事情来让自己变得更幸运。
And so what I've been doing is unpacking all the things that are in that apparently to show the things that people actually are doing to make themselves luckier.
好的。
Okay.
所以你已经做了这些研究。
So you have done all this research.
你写了一本广受好评的巨著《我希望早知道的关于运气的事》。
You've written this massive bestselling book, What I Wish I Knew About Luck.
你还得出结论：成为更幸运的人是有科学依据的。
And you also have concluded that there is a science to becoming a luckier person.
推动人们获得好运的关键因素是什么？
What's the number one thing that drives the lucky breaks that people get?
首先，你得
Well, first of all, you have
意识到运气是有其规律的。
to realize that there is a physics to luck.
哦。
Oh.
整个世界都是因果关系。
All of the world is cause and effect.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
运气是你遇到的事情。
Fortune is the things that happen to you.
幸运是你能掌控的。
Luck is what you control.
区分这两者非常重要，因为人们常常混淆运气和幸运的概念，误以为一切事情都只是发生在他们身上。
And it's very, very important to distinguish between those two things because people conflate the concept of fortune and luck, and they make a mistake in thinking that everything is just happening to them.
当然，有些事情是你无法控制的。
Well, of course, there are some things that are out of your control.
你的身高、你出生的地方、你的父母是谁。
How tall you are, where you're born, who your parents are.
这些是你无法控制的事情。
Those are things that are out of your control.
这些就是你所谓的幸运或不幸。
That's you know, you're fortunate or you're unfortunate.
对。
Right.
世界在运转，事情在发生。
And the world is spinning, and things are happening.
可能会发生地震。
There might be an earthquake.
可能会有
There might be
一场战争。
a war.
你可能会遭遇系统性种族歧视。
You might have be systematic racism.
没错。
Exactly.
贫困。
Poverty.
可能还会发生各种各样的事情。
There might be all kinds of things.
没错。
Exactly.
一场大流行病。
A pandemic.
是的。
Yes.
但你对如何应对它有更大的掌控力。
But you have more control over how you respond to it.
好的。
Okay.
所以我想确认一下我的理解，因为我原本以为情况正好相反。
So I wanna make sure I understand this because I would have thought it was the opposite.
因为当我听到‘幸运’这个词时，我想的是那些偶然发生的事情、突如其来的事情，发生在某些人身上却不会发生在我身上的事情。
Because when I hear the word lucky, I think things that happen by chance, things that happen out of the blue, things that happen to certain people that don't happen to me.
但当你说到幸运和命运之间有巨大区别时，对我来说，命运听起来像是你无法控制的事情，但有一大类事情——无论是积极的幸运还是不幸——都不是你的错。
But when you say there's a big difference between fortune, which to me sounds like the things that you said you don't have control over, but there's a huge group of things that are either positive things of fortune or things that feel unfortunate that are not your fault.
你无法改变它。
You can't change it.
但你希望我们专注于创造更多好运，让事情朝着有利于我们的方向发展，而这些是我们能掌控的。
But you want us to focus on creating more luck and making things go our way, which is in our control.
完全正确。
Absolutely.
这和我原先理解的幸运完全是两种不同的概念。
That's a completely different version of luck than I thought.
这真的非常重要。
Well, it's it's really important.
区分发生在你身上的事情和你如何回应，至关重要。
It's critically important to distinguish between the things that happen to you and how you respond.
我的意思是，维克多·弗兰克尔有一句非常著名的名言，说的是世界正在对你发生，而在刺激和回应之间，你有一段宝贵的时间来决定如何回应。
I mean, there's this fabulous, you know, very famous quote by Viktor Frankl about the fact that, you know, the world is happening to you, and you have this this time between stimulus and response where you get to decide how to respond.
而这就是运气发挥作用的地方。
And that's where luck comes in.
它通过花时间思考你如何真正与世界互动而产生。
It comes in by taking the time to think about how you actually engage with the world.
我们与世界始终在进行一场持续的舞蹈，要么引领，要么跟随。
We are in a constant dance with the world where we are either leading or we're following.
有时世界是主导的一方。
And there are times in which the world is leading.
对吧？
Right?
疫情发生了，我们的世界彻底颠倒了。
The pandemic happened, and our world's all turned upside down.
但接下来，你可以决定如何应对。
But then you get to decide what you're gonna do with it.
我从未这样思考过运气。
I I I've never thought about luck this way.
我一直以来都认为运气就是某种偶然发生在你身上的事情，或者如果你倒霉，那也是发生在你身上。
I I have always thought about luck as just something that kinda happens to you or, you know, if you're unlucky, that happens to you too.
所以，真正去思考这一点很重要：是的，有很多不公平的事情会发生。
And so really thinking about the fact that, yes, there are lots of things that happen that are unfair.
是的，确实存在一些真实的问题。
And yes, there are very real problems.
这确实是事实，也很不幸。
And that is true and unfortunate.
但我们可以运用创造自己运气的科学，如果
And we can take the science of creating your own luck, if
你愿意的话，用它来以不同的方式做出回应。
you will, and use it to respond in a different way.
没错。
Exactly.
我非常期待分享人们可以采取的行动，来解锁生活中的好运。
And I am so excited to share the things that people can do to unlock luck in their lives.
好吧。
Alright.
我想为你读一段你畅销书《关于运气，我真希望早点知道的事》中的内容。
I wanna read to you from your best selling book, What I Wish I Knew About Luck.
这是第六页。
This is on page six.
运气需要抓住机会，进行有计算的风险。
Luck requires taking a chance, a calculated risk.
当你决定在不确定的情况下采取行动时，运气便开始了——无论是争取一个竞争激烈的机会、搬到一个没有明确计划的远方城市，还是仅仅向陌生人自我介绍，每一次行动都是对熟悉领域的勇敢跨越。
It begins the moment you decide to act in the face of uncertainty, whether it's throwing your hat into the ring for a competitive opportunity, moving to a distant city without a clear plan, or simply introducing yourself to someone new, each action is a leap of faith beyond the familiar.
这些时刻可能看似微小，
These moments may seem small,
但它们至关重要，能创造机会，抓住幸运的契机。
but they're pivotal, creating openings to capture lucky opportunities.
这到底意味着什么？
What does that mean?
你做的每一个决定都会打开一扇通往全新事物的大门。
Every decision you make opens the door to something brand new.
我们总是只差一个决定，就能拥有完全不同的生活。
We are always one decision away from a completely different life.
我一直在思考这个问题。
I think about this all the time.
你知道吗？我生命中一些最亲密的朋友，都是当初在我排队时站在我旁边的人，我主动和他们搭话，发现我们有共同点。
You know, some of the closest friends I have made in my life are people who were standing next to me in line, who I started a conversation with, and we found that we had something in common.
然后我们开始合作，后来成了最好的朋友。
And then we started working together, and then we became best friends.
如果我没有开启那场对话，那个世界根本就不会存在。
If I had not started that conversation, that entire world would not have existed.
好的。
Okay.
我们就停在这里吧，因为我特别喜欢这种话题。
Let's stop right here because I love this kind of thing.
好吧？
Okay?
好的。
Okay.
所以我在九四年的一个活动上站着，那其实不是酒吧。
So I was standing in a bar in nine well, it wasn't a bar.
我在1994年参加了一个联合劝募的活动。
I was standing at a United Way benefit in 1994.
那时我是纽约市一名刚入职的法律援助律师。
I was a brand new legal aid attorney in New York City.
我走到吧台，点了一杯加冰的波本威士忌外带。
And I walked up to the bar and I ordered a bourbon on the rocks to go.
我想要用塑料杯装，因为我要提前离场。
I wanted it on a plastic cup because I was gonna bounce from the party.
在我身后，我听到有人说：听起来不错，来两杯。
And behind me, I heard somebody say, that sounds great, make it two.
我转过身，发现是克里斯托弗·罗宾斯，今年我和他将庆祝我们的第三十周年结婚纪念日。
I turn around and it was Christopher Robbins who I will be celebrating my thirtieth wedding anniversary with this year.
让我们用运气与机缘的框架来剖析那一刻。
Let's unpack that moment in the framework of luck versus fortune.
你明白我的意思了吗？
Do you see what I mean?
没错。
Exactly.
我觉得这是个很好的例子。
Well, I think it's a great example.
好的。
Okay.
因为，他，你知道的，他注意到了你。
Because a, he, you know, he saw you.
他感到很好奇。
He was intrigued.
他说，我也要一样的，然后你们就开始聊天了。
He said, I'll take the same, and you started a conversation.
是的。
Yes.
那本可能是结局。
It could have been the end.
想想有多少次对话毫无进展。
Think of the number of conversations that went nowhere.
非常感谢。
Thank you very much.
我待会儿见。
I'll see you later.
我要回家了。
I'm going home.
想想那些你看到有趣的人，却没走过房间去搭话的时刻。
Think about the moments where you see somebody who's interesting, but you don't walk across the room.
没错。
Exactly.
我有太多例子了。
And I have so many examples.
让我告诉你一个。
Let me tell you one.
好的。
Okay.
事实上，这本书源于我与坐在飞机旁的一位乘客的对话。
That is, well, in fact, this book is the result of a conversation I had with someone sitting on an airplane next to me.
真的吗？
Really?
我当时正在横跨全国的航班上。
I was flying across the country.
那是很早很早的早班航班。
Early, early morning flight.
我本可以闭上眼睛睡一觉的。
Coulda just shut my eyes and gone to sleep.
坐我旁边的男人是个出版商。
The man sitting next to me was a publisher.
我开始和他聊天。
And I started chat with him.
我们聊了很长时间。
We talked for a good long time.
后来，我拿出了一个书籍提案。
And at some point, I pulled out a book proposal.
我冒了一点风险。
I took a little risk.
我说，你猜怎么着？
And I said, guess what?
我电脑里正好有个书籍提案，他很乐意帮我看看。
I've got a book proposal right here on my computer, and he was kind enough to look at it.
他说，蒂娜，这很不错，但不太适合我们。
And, you know, he said, this is very nice, Tina, but not really for us.
我就说，好的。
So said, okay.
没问题。
No problem.
但你猜怎么着？
But guess what?
下飞机前，我们交换了联系方式。
At the end of the flight, we exchanged contact information.
我下飞机时，他给我发了一条短信。
And he sent me a text as I was walking off the plane.
我们一直保持联系。
I stayed in touch.
我当时正在斯坦福大学教一门创意课，心想，诶，这个学期我正好在做一个项目。
I was teaching a class, my creativity class at Stanford, and I thought, you know, gee, I'm doing a project this quarter.
这个项目应该围绕什么主题？
What should it be on?
也许我可以做关于出版业未来的主题。
Maybe I'll do it on the future of publishing.
于是我再次给他打了电话，说：嘿。
So I called him up again, and I said, hey.
猜怎么着？
Guess what?
我这个项目是关于出版业未来的。
I'm doing a project on the future of publishing.
你愿意来课堂上吗？
Would you come to class?
他说：当然可以。
He said, sure.
所以他来了。
So he came.
他见了我的学生们。
He met my students.
我们为大家提供了一个绝佳的机会。
We had a great great opportunity for everyone.
我再次跟进，分享了一些我学生所做的项目的视频。
I followed up again with, some videos of some projects my students had worked on.
有些项目是参加全球创新大赛的一部分。
Some were as part of a global innovation tournament.
它们相当酷。
They were pretty cool.
他说，哇。
He said, wow.
这里面可以出一本关于学生的书。
There is a book in here for the students.
他想见一见参与这个项目的学生们。
And he wanted to meet the students who had worked on this project.
我说，好的。
I said, okay.
听起来挺酷的。
That sounds pretty cool.
于是我安排了一次午餐。
And I set up a lunch.
午餐结束时，他带了一位编辑来，那位编辑转向我，说：嘿。
At the end of the lunch, which he had brought one of his editors to, his editor turned to me and said, hey.
你有没有考虑过写一本书？
Would you ever consider writing a book?
我给了他和他老板同样的提案。
And I gave him the exact same proposal I had given his boss.
我不知道。
I don't know.
那是在一两年前的事了，但我一直保持着这段关系。
It was either one, two years earlier, but I kept that relationship going.
这正是重点。
That was the point.
我做了许多微小的选择，最终促成了《我希望20岁时就知道的事》这本书的出版，而这一切始于我在飞机上与邻座男子的对话。
There were all these little choices I made that ended up leading to the publication of what I wish I knew when I was 20, starting with the conversation with the man sitting next to me on the plane.
所以，你希望我们把运气看作是通过自身行动创造出来的东西吗？
So do you want us to think about luck really more as something you create through the actions you take?
没错。
Exactly.
而不是某种只发生在某些人身上、而不会发生在其他人身上的偶然事件。
Versus something that just happens to some people versus others.
没错。
Exactly.
但这里有一件重要的事，梅尔。
But here's the important thing, Mel.
好的。
Okay.
运气无处不在。
Luck is ubiquitous.
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?
机会无处不在。
Opportunities are ubiquitous.
机会就像风，但你需要一面帆才能抓住它。
Opportunities are like the wind, but you need a sail to catch it.
我热衷于教人们如何抓住运气之风。
And what I am passionate about is teaching people how to catch the winds of luck.
所以，我想请你，西利格博士，谈谈现实中一些人的处境：对某些人来说，机会并不觉得无处不在，历史上也确实如此——比如，如果你遭受歧视，或者在工作中因非自身原因遭遇性骚扰，或者面临其他严重问题，对吧？
So I would love to have you, doctor Seelig, just speak to the reality for some people that opportunities don't feel ubiquitous and they historically haven't been ubiquitous if, let's say, you're being discriminated against or you are in a situation where something through no fault of your own, you're being sexually harassed at work or you've got there's very serious problems that people are facing, right?
因此，他们可能会听到这项研究，我认为这项研究在应对真实存在的问题时非常有帮助。
And so they might hear this research, which I think could be very helpful in how you respond to things that are very real.
你希望那些一生中总觉得因为肤色或性别而屡屡碰壁的人，如何理解那些依然存在的机会呢？你明白我的意思吧？
How do you want somebody to think about the opportunities that are out there even if you've had a lifetime of feeling like the door is always closed in your face because of the color of your skin or because you're a woman and you haven't been paid what your you you know what I mean?
我是说，因为我并不
Like, I because I don't
当然。
Of course.
当然。
Of course.
而且，老实说，生活并不公平。
And, honestly, life is not fair.
我的意思是，有些人出生在极其糟糕的环境中。
I mean, people are born into very terrible circumstances.
有些人有健康问题。
There are people who have medical problems.
有些人来自功能失调的家庭。
There are people who have dysfunctional families.
但我们依然拥有选择的权利。
But we have choices we make.
过去十年里，我一直与圣昆廷州立监狱的一个名为‘最后一英里’的团体合作开展工作。
I've been doing work for the last, I don't know, ten years working with a group at San Quentin State Prison called The Last Mile.
这是一个了不起的项目，旨在向被监禁的男性和女性教授创新、创业和编程技能。
It's an amazing program where they teach innovation and entrepreneurship and coding to men and women who are incarcerated.
这些人的生活通常非常艰难，往往从极其不幸的境遇开始。
Now these are folks who have had very, very difficult lives, often starting with very unfortunate circumstances.
参加这个项目的人有机会学习这些技能，并培养出出狱后取得成功所需的心态。
And the people who are in this program are given a chance to learn these skills and to develop the mindset needed to be successful when they are released from prison.
是的。
Mhmm.
看到人们如何改变，真是令人惊叹。
And it's remarkable to see how people can change.
人们可以改变自己的态度和行为，从而开启以前从未想过的机会。
People can change their attitude and their actions to unlock possibilities that they didn't see before.
我认为理解这一点非常重要。
I think that's so important to understand.
我能从你的热情和你说话时的强烈语气中感受到，这一切都是真实的。
And I can tell based on the passion and the just intensity of what you're like, no, this is real.
这并不意味着你一生中不会遇到挑战。
And it doesn't mean that there won't be challenges that you face in life.
这些挑战可能很奇怪，但你有权选择是就此放弃，认为事情本就如此，还是主动面对，思考如何应对，以及如何创造自己的好运。
Those are very weird, but you have a choice in whether you just throw in the towel and say, this is just how things are, or you lean in and say, okay, How I respond to this and how I think about creating my own luck.
正如你所说，机会无处不在，但你必须扬起帆才能抓住它们。
And as you said, that there's opportunities everywhere, but you've gotta open the sail to catch them.
你能解释一下‘抓住好运之风’这个比喻吗？
Can you unpack that analogy of catching the winds of luck?
很好。
Great.
我可以给你看一张图吗？
Can I show you a graphic?
请。
Please.
好的。
Okay.
我想为在听的听众描述一下，以免你们错过任何细节。
So I wanna describe this for the person who is listening so you don't miss a thing.
塞利格博士正举着一幅画，上面有一个热气球。
Doctor Seelig is holding up a painting, and there's a hot air balloon.
有一艘帆船，一个风车，还有一座坐落在岸边的教堂，帆船在海洋上航行，热气球也在海洋上空，而岸边则是风车和教堂。
There is a sailboat, there is a windmill, and there is a church sitting on the shore, and the sailboat's sailing on the ocean and the hot air balloon's over the ocean, but on the shore is the windmill and the church.
是的。
Yeah.
对我来说，这看起来更像是屋顶上装了风向标的一栋房子。
To me, it actually looks like a house with a it's a house with a wind vane on the top.
哦，那是风向标吗？
Oh, is that what that is?
那确实是一个风向标。
That is a wind vane
在顶部
on top
在房子上。
of the house.
是的。
Yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
但从远处看，它可能确实像那样。
But it it could look like that at a distance.
关键是，幸运之风无处不在。
The idea is that the winds of luck are ubiquitous.
它们始终在吹拂。
They are always blowing.
而我们与它们互动的方式多种多样。
And there are different ways in which we engage with them.
有些人待在房子里，关上百叶窗，根本不去留意。
Some people stay inside the house, and they shut the shutters, and they don't even pay attention.
他们甚至都看不到这些风。
They don't even see them.
他们可能会打开百叶窗看到风，但你知道，他们可能根本不会采取任何行动。
They might open the shutters and see them, but they, you know, they might not even do anything.
好的。
Okay.
我 just 要转过身去。
I'm just gonna turn the other way.
现在有一些人就像风向标。
Now there are some people who are like a wind vane.
他们位于房子的顶端。
They're at the top of the house.
他们正在察觉那些机会。
They're noticing the opportunities.
他们不停地转动自己的机会，但却什么也不做。
They're swiveling on their access, but they're not doing anything with it.
他们只是看着。
They're just looking.
哦，那里、那里、那里都有机会。
Oh, there's an opportunity there and there and there.
他们什么都没做。
They're not doing anything.
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
如果你是那种一直都在思考的人，那就这样。
This is if you're the kind of person that has been thinking forever.
是的。
Yes.
无论是申请那份工作、利用社交媒体推广自己，还是考虑重返校园、注册在线约会资料，你都是那个在风中旋转却无所作为的风向标。
About applying for that job or using social media to market yourself or you're the kind of person that has been thinking about going back to school or thinking about getting an online dating profile, you are the weather vane spinning around in the wind doing nothing.
没错。
Exactly.
毫无进展。
Going nowhere.
没错。
Exactly.
或者你可能像一个热气球。
Or you could be a hot air balloon.
热气球呢，你知道，运气的风把你吹到哪儿就是哪儿。
Now hot air balloon, you know, you're the winds of luck are taking you where they may.
你其实没什么控制力。
You don't really have much control.
但你知道吗？
But you know what?
在我们人生的某些时刻，做一只热气球、一片随风飘荡的叶子是合理的，就说：好吧，我就看看兴趣带我去哪儿。
There are times in our life when it's reasonable to be a hot air balloon, to be a leaf in the wind and say, you know, I'm just gonna see where my interests take me.
是的
Yep.
所以这样做是合理的。
So that's a reasonable thing to do.
但当你开始看到一个机会，心想：哇。
But then once you start seeing an opportunity where you go, wow.
这里、那里，你可以变成一台风车。
There's something here, there, you can become a windmill.
风车的意思是，你真正地捕捉到了当地运气的风，并充分利用了所有好运。
And a windmill is where you are really capturing the winds of luck in that local area, and you are harnessing all of the luck.
那种运气。
Of that.
好的。
Okay.
你在某个地方找到了一份工作。
You get a job somewhere.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
是的。
Yes.
然后你会想，好吧。
And you go, okay.
我会在这份工作上做到最好。
I am gonna be the best I can in this job.
明白了。
Got it.
我要看看我能从这份工作中做出什么成就。
I am going to I am gonna see what I can make of this.
事实上，我常告诉我的学生：你不是得到一份工作，而是拿到了大楼的钥匙。
And I in fact, one of the things I tell my students is you don't get a job, you get the keys to the building.
你会想，好吧，我要看看这条路会带我去哪里。
You go, okay, I'm gonna see what this where this takes me.
哦，我喜欢这个说法。
Oh, I love that.
等一下。
Hold on a second.
我想确认一下你真的听懂了西利格医生的话。
I wanna make sure that you really got what Doctor.
他刚刚告诉你的内容。
Seelig just told you.
因为这件事我现在就要发给我们的三个成年孩子。
Because this is something that I am sending this to all three of our adult children right now.
你不是得到一份工作，而是得到了大楼的钥匙。
You do not get a job, you get the keys to the building.
当然了。
You bet.
即使你讨厌这份工作，你也可以通过每天准时上班，践行你即将告诉我们的一切，带着特定的能量、卓越的标准和积极的态度，去抓住围绕在办公室里、等着你拖着疲惫身躯去面对的机遇，从而创造自己的好运。
And you create your own luck in that job, even if you hate the job, by showing up to that job every day and doing the things you're about to tell us to do and bringing a certain type of energy and a certain level of excellence and a certain attitude in order to capture the opportunity that is swirling around that office that you're dragging yourself into.
没错。
Exactly.
你可以选择
You can choose the
消极的态度，或者选择一种不同的态度。
bad attitude or you can choose to have a different attitude.
但你在这里想说的是：相信我的研究。
But what you're here to say is trust my research.
如果你醒过来并意识到它，机会无处不在，等着你去把握。
There is opportunity everywhere for the taking if you wake up and recognize it.
对。
Right.
但你可以更进一步。
And you can take it further though.
好的。
Okay.
你可以变成一艘帆船。
You can become a sailboat.
我该怎么做呢？
And how do I do that?
帆船是在寻找运气。
The sailboat is looking for the luck.
它在外面寻找幸运之风。
It's out there searching for the winds of luck.
对吧？
Right?
你可以像风车一样在当地捕捉运气，也可以成为帆船，带着明确的目标，去寻找那些能带你到达目的地的风。
You can be capturing the luck like a windmill where they are locally, or you can be a sailboat where you're out there with a goal, a specific goal in mind, and you're saying how do I get to those winds to get me to that destination.
明白了。
Got it.
让我记下来，因为这一点很重要，我想和你聊聊如何成为一艘帆船。
So let me put this down because it's kind of big, and I wanna talk to you about how to become a sailboat.
好的。
Okay.
我想和你谈谈
I wanna talk to
关于这个。
you about that.
因为如果你想成为一艘帆船来捕捉幸运之风，你需要做三件事。
Because if you wanna be a sailboat to capture the winds of luck, there are three things you need to do.
首先，你需要建造那艘帆船。
First, you need to build that sailboat.
接下来，你需要招募你的船员。
The next is you need to recruit your crew.
第三，你需要升起船帆。
And third, you need to hoist the sail.
好的。
Okay.
而且这非常重要，要分清这三件事。
And this is very important to separate these three things.
好。
K.
你建造你的帆船。
You build your sailboat.
这些都是内在的工作。
That's all the internal work.
你知道，这很有趣。
You know, it's funny.
每当我告诉别人我在写一本关于运气的书，或者我在研究运气时，他们都会说，哦，是的。
There's a whenever I tell people I'm writing a book about luck or I'm doing work on luck, they go, oh, yes.
对。
Yes.
幸运眷顾有准备的头脑。
Fortune favors the prepared mind.
我很喜欢这句话。
Well, I love that quote.
你知道吗，路易·巴斯德有一句名言，说幸运眷顾有准备的头脑。
You know, Louis Pasteur, great quote about fortune favoring the prepared mind.
但什么是有准备的头脑呢？
But what is the prepared mind?
我不知道。
I don't know.
那艘帆船就是你的有准备的头脑。
That sailboat is your prepared mind.
好的。
Okay.
这就是你为最终抓住幸运之风所需要做的全部内在准备。
That is all the internal work that you need to do to be ready to ultimately catch the winds of luck.
好的。
Okay.
那我们就停在建造帆船这里吧。
So let's stop right with building the sailboat.
好吗？
Okay?
因为我知道，你现在一边听一边看，心里一定在想：好吧，我懂了，塞利格博士。
Because I know as you're listening and watching right now, you're like, all right, I'm with you, Dr.
但是我要怎么建造一艘帆船呢？
Seelig, but how do I build a sailboat?
这到底是什么意思？
What does that actually mean?
我该如何进行内在的修炼，来改变这个一直以来告诉我‘像我这样的人不会遇到这种事’的大脑？
How am I doing the internal work to turn this brain of mine that's told me my entire life, oh, things like that don't happen to a person like me.
我永远也还不清这笔债务。
Well, I'll never get out of this debt.
我不会变成那样的。
I'm not gonna be this way.
我不聪明。
I'm not smart.
我不够好，因为我现在就能告诉你，这听起来不像你在打造一艘帆船。
I'm not good because I can tell you right now that doesn't sound like you're building a sailboat.
那么，为了利用第一步——你必须在自己内心建造那艘帆船——我们需要具体做些什么、知道些什么或改变些什么呢？
So what are the specific things that we need to do or know or change in order to take advantage of step one, which is you gotta build that sailboat in yourself.
没错。
Exactly.
这非常重要。
And it's very, very important.
好的。
Okay.
第一，你需要清楚自己的核心价值观。
One is you need to know what your core values are.
好的。
Okay.
如果你没有这些核心价值观——它们就像船底的龙骨，让你保持稳定——你就容易被那些让你做不道德事情的人所操控。
If you do not have those core values, which are like the keel under your boat that keeps you steady, you're gonna be manipulated by people who ask you to do things that are not ethical.
它们是非法的。
They're not legal.
我的意思是，当人们没有核心价值观时，这就是他们被抓住的原因。
I mean, this is how people get caught when they don't have their core values.
事实上，我可以告诉你一个我年轻时发生的故事，那时我还不知道怎么做这件事。
And in fact, I can tell you a story about what happened to me when I was young, and I I didn't know how to do this.
我刚从研究生院毕业就找到了第一份工作。
I had taken my first job right out of graduate school.
那是一家公司。
And it was a company.
那是一家医疗科技公司，我非常渴望。
It was a med tech company, and I was so eager.
我只是想把每件事都做对。
I was just wanted to do everything right.
公司的总裁让我去参加一个会议。
And the president of the company asked me to go to a conference.
而这场会议实际上是由一家竞争对手公司主办的，他让我去参加，不是以我们公司团队成员的身份，而是以斯坦福大学的Seelig博士的身份。
And it was a conference actually being hosted by a competing company, and he asked me to go not as a member of the team of this company, but as Dr.
塞利格博士，来自斯坦福大学。
Seelig from Stanford.
而他就是我的老板。
And he was my boss.
我为什么要去质疑他呢？
I why should I question him?
是的。
Yeah.
我从未想过这是否合乎道德。
I had never thought about whether this would be ethical or not.
所以我答应了：好的。
So I said, sure.
当然，我会去的。
Of course, I'll go.
于是我上了飞机。
So I got on a plane.
我去了芝加哥。
I went to Chicago.
我以斯坦福大学的西利格博士的身份注册了。
I registered Dr.
参加了会议。
Seelig from Stanford, went to the conference.
会议开始时，这是一个规模相对较小的会议。
And as the conference started, it was relatively small conference.
每场演讲结束时，我都举手提出各种深入的问题，因为我对这项技术非常了解，因为我当时在一家竞争对手公司工作。
At the end of every session, I raised my hand and asked all sorts of probing questions because I knew a lot about this technology because I was working at a competing company.
是的。
Yeah.
他们开始产生怀疑。
And they started getting suspicious.
他们打电话到我公司，问：‘蒂娜·塞利格在吗？’
And they called up my company and they said, is Tina Seelig there?
当然，前台说：‘在的。’
And of course, the receptionist said, yes.
不在。
No.
不在。
No.
不在。
No.
她不在这里。
She's not here.
她正在芝加哥参加一个会议。
She's at a conference in Chicago.
于是我走进电梯准备上楼回房间，有两个人跟着我进了电梯。
And so I was getting into the elevator to go up to my room and two people followed me in.
门关上了，其中一人转过身按下停止按钮。
The door shut and one of them turned and hit the stop button.
你当时以为发生了什么？
Are you what did you think was happening?
我完全不知道。
I had no idea.
我转过身，他们看着我。
I turned around and they looked at me.
他们把我逼到角落，问我：你是间谍吗？
They backed me in the corner and they said, are you a spy?
说实话，我当时都哭出来了。
I mean, I burst into tears honestly.
我当时想：天哪。
I was like, oh my gosh.
但他们说，我们打了你们公司电话。
But they, you know, they they said, we called your company.
他们还挺幽默的。
They were very funny.
他们说，我们知道你是这家公司的市场副总裁，这其实是个笑话，因为我只是一个实习生。
They said, we understand you're the VP of marketing of the company, which was sort of a joke since I was like an intern.
但他们很快就护送我离开了。
But they escorted me out very quickly.
我坐在人行道上想，到底发生了什么？
And I sat on the sidewalk thinking, what happened?
我意识到这是因为我没有花哪怕一分钟去思考我的价值观，我真的很倒霉，对吧？
And I realized it was because I hadn't even taken a minute to think about my values and to think about and I was very unlucky, wasn't I?
因为我不该对老板说，当然，我可以做那件事。
Because I should have said to my boss, of course, I can't do that.
我不能欺骗自己。
I can't misrepresent myself.
所以，你首先需要做的一件事就是认真思考你的核心价值观是什么。
And so one of the first things you need to do is really think about what your core values are.
你怎么才能弄清楚呢？
How do you figure that out?
有没有一种简单的方法，能真正思考清楚你的核心价值观是什么？
Is there, like, a simple way to really think about what your core values are?
因为我可以回想我生命中的某些时刻，比如我刚结婚、有孩子、经济拮据的那段日子，我的核心价值观是安全和保障。
Because I can think about moments in my life, for example, a period of my life where when we were struggling financially as a young married couple with kids, my core value was safety and security.
所以我答应了很多现在绝不会做的事，只是为了付账单。
And so I said yes to lots of stuff I wouldn't do right now because I wanted to pay the bills.
但那时这些选择是符合我的价值观的。
And it was aligned with my values then.
现在我的价值观已经变了，因为我依然重视安全和保障，但已经不像以前那样紧迫了。
My values now have shifted because I still value security and safety, but it's not on fire right now.
所以我现在有了不同的价值观。
And so I I I have different values.
但我认为这是一件人们很少停下来思考的事情。
But I think it's one of those things where it's it's it's not something that people stop and think about.
那么，对于正在听的这个人，你会怎么建议呢？
So how would you recommend if the person's listening right now?
因为我觉得我们都想更幸运一些，当然也想乘风而起，尽可能抓住更多机会。
Because I think we all we all wanna be luckier, and we certainly wanna open up the winds and, like, capture as much opportunity as we can.
但你怎么才能弄清楚自己真正重视的是什么？
But how do you figure out what you actually value?
有很多方法可以做到这一点。
So there are a lot of ways to do it.
好的。
Okay.
很多情况下，你需要提前花时间认真思考。
And a lot has to do with taking the time to actually think about it in advance.
好的。
Okay.
想想你的价值观是什么。
Think about what your values are.
你会扭曲自己吗？
Are you gonna misrepresent yourself?
这是一条危险的下坡路。
There's a slippery slope.
你知道，一旦你做出了一个不道德的决定，接下来再做第二个决定就会容易得多。
You know, once you make one decision to do something that's not ethical, it's much easier to do make the second decision.
对吧？
Right?
一旦你做了第一件事，那扇门就打开了。
Once you've done the first one, that that door is open.
你必须思考你想成为怎样的人。
And you have to think about who you wanna be in the world.
你还可以组建一个个人顾问团。
You also can put together a personal board of advisers.
这是一个非常有用的工具。
This is a really helpful tool.
当你被要求做某事，内心突然警铃大作，觉得不对劲时，你会去找谁？
Who are you going to go to when you're asked to do something where you have a kind of a spider sense where you go, you know what?
这感觉不对劲。
This doesn't smell right.
我该找谁来寻求一些反馈？
Who do I go to to get some feedback?
而且，能够随时抽身离开也非常重要；当你经济上极度脆弱时，就会陷入困境，比如：我不知道该怎么办。
And it's also really helpful to have the ability to walk away, to have now it's really difficult when you're in a situation where you're feeling financially really vulnerable and you go like, I don't know what to do.
但很多时候，我们过去常跟学生讲一个案例：有个人背负了大量债务，买了一栋昂贵的房子，搬到了新城市，做了许多开销巨大的事情。
But oftentimes, there's a case we used to use with our students many years ago about, somebody who had taken on a lot of financial debt, you know, bought an expensive house, moved to a new city, did all sorts of things that were expensive.
后来，他所在的公司开始做违法的事，他却无法离职，因为他承担不起失去这份工作的代价。
And then when the company he was working for started doing things that were illegal, he couldn't leave because he couldn't afford to give up a job.
所以，请思考如何避免让自己陷入如此被动的境地——一旦被要求做不道德的事，却因牵绊太多而无法抽身。
So think about not putting yourself in a position where you're so tied to an organization or to some situation where you can't walk away if you're asked to do something that you find is unethical.
嗯，我可以
Well, I can
再举个例子。
give another example.
而且，是的。
And Yeah.
我们来看看这个例子是否成立，Seelig博士，根据您所做的研究。
And let's see if this one checks out, Dr.
塞利格，根据您所做的研究。
Seelig, with the with the research you've done.
上周末我跟一个朋友聊天，他正在一段关系中，而这个人很清楚自己并不想和向他求婚的人订婚。
Was talking to a friend over the weekend who's in a relationship, and this person knows that they don't wanna be engaged to the person that asked them to be married.
她一直在滔滔不绝地说这件事，因为这是一个非常艰难的决定。
And she was going on and on and on about it because it's a very difficult decision.
她说，问题是，你知道的，我本质上就是一个和事佬。
And she said, well, the problem is, you know, I just really am a peacekeeper.
我说，等一下。
And I said, hold on a second.
这正是你第一段婚姻中的状态，所以你才感到痛苦。
That's what you were in your first marriage, which is why you were miserable.
你为了维持和平，却从未说出真相。
You kept the peace and you never told the truth.
在这一章中，你已经非常清楚地表明，你最重视的是做一个说真话的人。
You, in this chapter, have made it very clear that what you value more than anything is being a truth teller.
我想象一下，如果你不理解自己在一段浪漫关系中最核心的价值是什么——比如，我想和一个能让我做真实自己的人在一起，而不是为了取悦别人而不断压抑自己的感受和需求——那么你永远无法建立起内心的帆船，命运的风会把你吹向各种各样的关系，因为你根本没有意识到，你真正看重的是真相，而不仅仅是陪伴。
And I would imagine that if you don't understand what your core value is in terms of why you wanna be even in like a romantic relationship, I wanna be with somebody where I can be fully myself versus constantly suppressing what I feel and what I need in order to make somebody else happy, you will never ever ever build this internal sailboat and the winds of chance are gonna steer you to all kinds of relationships because you don't realize you actually value that rather than just companionship.
这说得通吗？
Does that make sense?
没错。
Exactly.
没错。
Exactly.
而核心价值观只是这个拼图中的一块。
And that's just one piece of the puzzle is your core values.
你需要明白，这与你刚才说的紧密相关，那就是你对自己在这个世界中身份的叙述。
You need to know, which is sort of tied in to what you just said, the story you tell about who you are in the world.
对吧？
Right?
我们每个人都有一个关于自己是谁的故事，而这个故事会随着我们所处的人际环境、对自己的感受以及是否能坦然接纳这个故事而不断变化。
We each have a story of who we are, and that story is always shifting depending upon, who we're with and how we feel about ourselves and the ability to own that story.
西利格博士，
Dr.
我必须暂停一下，因为此刻人们不只是在听，他们正在认出自己。
Seelig, I I just have to pause for a second because this is one of those moments where people aren't just listening, they're recognizing themselves.
你并不是在抽象地谈论运气。
You're not talking about luck in some abstract way.
你描述的是那些习惯、等待，以及我们许多人生活其中却从未意识到的隐形规则。
You're describing the habits, the waiting, the invisible rules that so many of us are living under without even realizing it.
我知道现在正在发生什么。
And I know what's happening right now.
你坐在那里想，等等，这就是我感到停滞的原因吗？
You're sitting there thinking, wait a minute, is this why I feel stuck?
这就是为什么我明明有能力，却总觉得一事无成的原因吗？
Is this why nothing seems to move even though I'm capable?
如果你是这样，我希望你好好体会德鲁现在教给我们的东西。
If that's you, I want you to really just sit with what Dr.
塞利格博士正在教我们的内容。
Seelig is teaching us right now.
说实话，如果你所爱的人总说自己运气不好、落后了、僵住了，或者在你听这些内容时不断浮现在你脑海中，那么这一集你一定要发给他们。
And honestly, if someone that you love keeps saying they just feel unlucky or they're behind or they're frozen or they just keep coming up in your mind as you're listening to all this, this is one of those episodes that you just sent.
不用解释。
No explanation.
标题本身就已经说明一切。
The title speaks for itself.
我向你保证，我向你保证，如果你一直无法让他们明白，我敢肯定，德鲁博士。
And I promise you, I promise you, if you have not been able to get through to them, I guarantee you Doctor.
Seelig会的。
Seelig will.
别走开，我们马上做一个短暂的广告插播，让我们的精彩赞助商亮相，回来后，Seelig博士将为您展示如何停止等待，开始改变人生的几率。
And don't go anywhere because we're gonna take a quick break, let our incredible sponsor shine, when we come back, Doctor.
Seelig博士将为您展示如何停止等待，开始改变人生的几率。
Seelig is gonna show you how to stop waiting and start changing your odds in life.
别走开。
Don't go anywhere.
继续跟我在一起。
Stay with me.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，您和我将向斯坦福大学教授、神经科学家和创新专家Seelig博士学习。
Today, you and I are getting to learn from Stanford professor, neuroscientist, and innovation expert, Doctor.
蒂娜·塞利格。
Tina Seelig.
今天我们来聊聊科学视角下的如何变得幸运。
We're talking all about how to get lucky according to science.
好的，教授。
All right, Doctor.
塞利格，我们继续。
Seelig, let's keep going.
我下一个问题是：
The next question I have is this.
如果你的故事真的很糟糕——我不聪明，我不够好，我做什么都不顺利，你该怎么开始建造这艘帆船呢？
If your story is really awful, I'm not smart, I'm not good enough, nothing ever works out for me, how do you start building this sailboat?
很好。
Great.
你需要明白，每天都可以做一些小实验。
So you need to understand that you can do little experiments every day.
好的。
Okay.
你需要愿意承担一些风险，走出舒适区，尝试一些不同的事情。
You need to be willing to take some risks to get out of your comfort zone and to try something different.
好的。
Okay.
现在让我问你一个问题。
Now let me ask you now.
是的。
Yes.
请叫我蒂娜。
And please call me Tina.
好的，蒂娜。
Okay, Tina.
抱歉。
Sorry.
我老是叫你医生。
I keep calling you Doctor.
塞利格。
Seelig.
抱歉。
Sorry.
没关系。
It's okay.
你是个喜欢冒险的人吗？
Are you a risk taker?
绝对是的。
Absolutely.
好的。
Okay.
大多数人回答是或不是，但冒险要复杂得多。
Most people answer yes or no, but risk is much more nuanced.
它们都是不同类型的风险。
They're all different types of risk.
这要看情况。
It depends.
我知道。
I know.
但你说过你是
But get but you said you're
这么聪明。
so smart.
好吧。
Okay.
看情况。
Depends.
我就觉得，是的。
I'm like, yes.
我承担风险。
I take a risk.
但要知道我总是
But know that how I always
我承担的是有把握的风险。
take a calculated risk.
没错。
Exactly.
但想想不同的
But think about the different
风险。
risk.
气球就这样不顾一切地飞走了。
Balloon just going throwing caution to the wind.
没错。
Exactly.
但想想不同类型的風險。
But think about the different types of risk.
让我给你看个东西。
Let me show you something.
好的。
Okay.
这是我们课堂上使用的风险评估仪，学生可以用它来绘制自己的风险画像。
This is the riskometer that we use in our classes where students map their risk profile.
好的。
Okay.
现在我想为正在听的这位朋友解释一下，因为接下来我们会带你一步步了解这个工具。
Now I wanna just explain for the person who's listening right now because this, we're gonna walk you through this.
当蒂娜为我们逐一讲解人生中会遇到的六种不同风险时，我希望你思考自己对每种风险的承受程度是高还是低——你们的评分范围是0到10，而她面前只有一个圆圈，上面有六个点，她现在就要带我们逐一分析。
And as Tina walks us through each of the six different types of risk that you're gonna be faced with in life, I want you to think whether you have a high or low tolerance because you're ranking at zero to 10 and all she has is a circle and there are six different points on it and she's gonna walk us through it right now.
当蒂娜逐一讲解这六种风险时，我希望你为自己回答这个问题，因为我觉得这是一种深入了解个人价值观的绝佳方式。
And as Tina walks through each of the six types of risks, I want you to be answering this for yourself because I think this is a really interesting way to get into values.
没错。
Exactly.
没错。
Exactly.
弄清楚你愿意承担哪些类型的风险，以及你希望在哪些方面突破。
And to figure out what type of risks you're comfortable taking and where you wanna stretch.
好的。
Okay.
很好。
Great.
那我们来逐一分析。
So let's go through each one.
对。
Right.
这叫做蜘蛛图。
So this is called a spider chart.
它看起来像一张蜘蛛网
It looks like a spider web
是的
Yes.
确实如此
It does.
中心是零，外圈是十
Where the center is zero and the outside is 10.
好的
K.
所以你要把自己在这上面标出来
So you map you map yourself on it.
那我们来试试吧
So let's try this.
一起
Together.
好的。
Okay.
所以我觉得你和我其实挺相似的。
So I think you and I are actually pretty similar.
是吗？
Are we?
好的。
Okay.
是的。
Yes.
所以是身体上的风险。
So physical risk.
你觉得自己在1到10的尺度上处于哪个位置？
You are where would you be on a scale of one to 10?
天哪。
Oh, gosh.
我大概是个六分吧。
I'm probably, like, a six.
真的吗？
Oh, really?
好的。
Okay.
太好了。
Great.
至于我个人，
And, personally, I
我希望你，在听或看的时候，也能这样想。
want you to and I want you to be thinking as you're listening or watching.
好的。
Okay.
我在哪儿？
Where am I?
从0到10分，你在身体方面是个喜欢冒险的人吗？
Zero to 10 on physical are you a big risk taker?
比如我丈夫和我儿子。
Like, my husband and my son.
你知道，我只是想，我们能不能把
You know, I'm just like, can we please bring
从九分降到五分？
it down from, a nine to a five?
没错。
Exactly.
没错。
Exactly.
我儿子以前是个很有竞争力的自行车手，每次他骑车出去，我都会屏住呼吸，直到他
My son, was a very competitive cyclist, and every time he would go out on his bike, I would just hold my breath till he
也有了个骑车的。
got a cyclist too.
我就想，你骑车时以每小时40英里的速度在马路上飞驰，怎么能听音乐呢？
I'm like, can you not listen to music as you're, like, cycling down the road at 40 miles an hour?
至少你得戴个头盔。
At least you wear as a helmet.
好的。
Okay.
那我们来谈谈情感上的风险吧。
So let's talk about emotional risk.
好的。
Okay.
向别人表达你的感受。
Telling someone how you feel.
哦，给我打十分。
Oh, give
给我十分。
me 10.
我愿意接受任何方式，因为对我来说，表达我的感受并不觉得有风险。
I'll take any because it doesn't feel risky to me to to share how I'm feeling.
很好。
Great.
那你怎么说呢？
How about
你呢？
you?
我情绪非常高涨。
I'm very high.
我的意思是，我很乐意告诉你我爱你。
I mean, I'm happy to tell you that I love you.
我也爱你。
Oh, I love you too.
而且我爱你，当你在听我说话的时候；但对于那些情感风险较低的人来说，你生活中会害怕什么呢？
And I love you as you're listening and For somebody though that is, like, lower on the emotional risk, what what what might that feel like in your life that you would be scared of?
向别人表达你的感受会让人感到脆弱。
It feels vulnerable to tell someone how you feel.
你知道，也许你感到焦虑，或者害怕，或者你真的很喜欢某个人，却不敢告诉他们。
You know, that maybe you feel anxious or maybe you feel scared or maybe you feel, you know, maybe you really like someone and you're afraid to tell them.
明白了。
Got it.
对吧？
Right?
好的。
Okay.
是的。
Yeah.
那些风险承受能力更高的人，会直接说：我要告诉你。
Someone who is more has a high risk profile there, it's like, I'm gonna tell you.
是的。
Yeah.
我总是觉得，当你告诉别人一些事情时，你会获得一些反馈。
I always feel that you tell people things and you get data.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
你会得到一些回传的信息。
You get some data back.
社交风险。
Social risk.
现在跟我谈谈社交风险。
Now talk to me about social risk.
哪些情况属于社交风险？
What falls in the category of social risk?
愿意站起来为婚礼敬酒，或者上台发言。
Being willing to get up and give a toast to a wedding, giving a talk.
在工作会议上发言。
Talking in a meeting at work.
没错。
Exactly.
站在公众面前，置身于世界之中。
Being out be and being out in front of the world.
就是走出去，你知道的，站在台前，这并不是情绪问题，但你确实会。
Being, you know, being out there and it's not emotional, but you're you're Yes.
你会走出去去做一些非常
You're gonna get out there and do I'll something very
告诉你。
tell you.
所以像我敬酒、在会议上发言，或者因为我已经培养出了在大型场合演讲的技能，我对这些完全不害怕。
So the sort of things where I am giving a toast or I'm talking in a meeting or certainly because I've developed the skill of giving speeches in arenas, I have zero fear about it.
所以我给自己打10分。
So I would put myself at a 10.
然而，当这部剧获得金球奖提名时，我从未走过红毯。
However, when this show was nominated for a Golden Globe, I had never walked a red carpet.
我完全不习惯穿着漂亮的礼服、展示自己，我觉得我当时大概只有两分。
I am not at all comfortable putting myself out there in terms of a beautiful dress and look at me, and I would say I was about a two.
这难道不有趣吗？
So isn't that interesting?
我觉得这很有趣，梅尔。
I think this is fascinating, Mel.
好吧。
Okay.
因为你以前从未做过。
Because you had never done it before.
没有。
No.
但如果你做过两三次、四次，就会觉得自然了。
But if you had done it two, three, four times, it would have been natural.
是的。
Yes.
那会很容易。
It would have been easy.
因为你经常做，所以你愿意承担社交风险。
You're happy to make social risk because you've been doing it so much.
这非常重要。
That's this is super important.
对吧？
Right?
如果你一开始就说，天啊，这让我很不舒服，你还是可以慢慢突破的。
If you start out saying, oh my gosh, this is uncomfortable for me, you can stretch.
你一开始是二分，但下次你做时，就会变成四分，然后你就会
You started as a two, but the next time you do it, you'll be a four, and then you'll
变成六分，我不确定，但到时候你会买下那条裙子。
be a six, I don't and then you're you'll a buy the dress.
下次我会借一件。
I'm gonna borrow it next time.
结果发现很多人会向设计师借衣服，
It turns out a lot of people borrow from designers,
是的。
Yes.
但我是个傻瓜，直接买了一件。
But I was the idiot who bought Okay.
为了下次准备。
For the next time.
你会做好准备的。
You'll be ready.
下次还会有机会。
There is next time.
那么，好吧，我们来谈谈财务风险。
So, okay, let's talk about financial risk.
好的。
Okay.
所以这个情况下，我会选择零风险。
So this is one where I would be a zero.
我不想在财务上承担任何风险，因为在我人生的前四十年里，我承担了各种各样的风险。
Don't wanna take any risk financially because earlier in my life, the first forty years, I I took all kinds of risks.
我以前在钱的事情上很蠢。
I was stupid with my money.
刷爆信用卡，把房屋净值贷款用到极限，活在某种幻想中。
Racking up the credit cards, maxing out the home equity line, living in some sort of fantasy.
觉得 somehow，我总会走运的。
Like somehow, I'm just gonna get lucky.
尽管我做了这么多愚蠢的决定，但既然我已经亲身经历了自我折磨的痛苦，
And even though I'm making all these dumbass decisions, this is gonna somehow like, now that I've experienced the pain of driving myself.
不过，你有没有觉得这一点也很有意思？
Now, you know what's interesting about this too?
我可以回望过去，看到我的决定是如何造就了我非常不走运的局面。
I can look backwards and see how my decisions created a situation where I was very unlucky.
是的。
Yes.
但那是你的行为，是你做出的选择。
But it was your behavior, was the choices you made.
并不是所有事情都如此。
There were it's like not everything.
有些事情确实不幸地发生了，但我的决定无疑让我濒临重大灾难的边缘，而事实也正是如此。
There are some things that swing that unfortunate, but my decisions certainly put me within striking distance of having a major catastrophe, and that's what happened.
没错。
Exactly.
所以，我得说，我得假设你还是承担了一些财务风险，因为你的生意，你必须得
So I I have to say, I have to assume you take some financial risk because your business, you have to be
我们就像这样，我、我、我不想、我永远不想陷入一种情况：把生意扩张得太快，然后不得不裁员。
We're we're like, we are I'm I I I don't want to I don't ever wanna be in a situation where I have scaled a business too quickly that I then have to lay people off.
有五十个人以及他们的家庭，都依赖于我和我的合伙人所做的决策。
Like there are 50 people that and their families that depend on the decisions that my business partner and I make.
因此，我认为我们在考虑答应或拒绝某事的后果时，都非常非常规避风险。
And so I think we're both very, very like, risk adverse when we think about the implications of what we say yes and no to.
没错。
Right.
好的。
Okay.
这很有趣，因为人们可能会认为像风险投资家这样的人风险承受能力很强，但他们总在试图消除所有风险。
That is well, this is now it's interesting because you might think that some people like venture capitalists have a really high financial risk profile, But they're always trying to squeeze all the risk out.
对吧？
Right?
就像跳伞的人一样，他们会确保降落伞被正确地打包。
Just like the person who's jumping out of the airplane, they're gonna make sure the parachute is is packed properly.
是的。
Yes.
所以你知道，当你准备得越充分，事情就不会感觉像有那么大的风险。
So, you know, it's really it's it's very interesting that the more prepared you are, it doesn't feel like a big risk.
对吧？
Right?
你有一家公司，里面有50个人依赖着你。
You have this company with 50 people who depend on you.
你觉得这财务风险很低。
You feel like it's a low financial risk.
外人可能会说，哇。
Someone on the outside will go, wow.
这太冒险了。
That's risky.
但你已经把所有风险都消除了。
But you've squeezed all the risk out.
是的。
Yes.
通过不断测试和进行大量实验
By testing and doing lots and lots of experiments
是的。
Yes.
并且非常缓慢地扩展，这样就不会觉得有财务风险。
And scaling really slowly so that it doesn't feel like it's a financial risk.
很好。
Great.
下一个则是智力上的。
And the next one's intellectual.
智力上的。
Intellectual.
比如，哦，对啊。
Like, oh, yeah.
你要去尝试新事物，突破自我，思考以前从未想过的问题，解决那些看似无解的难题。
That you're gonna go try something new, stretch, think about things you haven't thought about before, solve a problem that's intractable.
我甚至都不觉得自己有多求知欲。
I'm I I don't even consider I'm so intellectually curious.
这是个10分。
It's a 10.
让我问问你关于智力风险的事。
Let me ask you about intellectual risk.
在你的生活中，智力风险有哪些日常的例子？
What are some everyday examples of what intellectual risk looks like in your life?
通常是解决问题。
It's usually problem solving.
你知道，就是你面前有个问题，你愿意去面对它。
You know, it's, you know, it's you've got a problem that is in front of you and you're willing to tackle.
就像是，好吧。
It's like, okay.
我能解决这个问题。
I can figure this out.
我坚信每一个问题都是一个机会。
I'm a huge believer that every problem is an opportunity.
问题越大，机会就越大，这是一种真正的创业心态。
The bigger the problem, the bigger the opportunity, And that's a real entrepreneurial mindset.
是的。
Yes.
你可以培养这种心态。
And you can foster that.
你真的可以发展出承担更多智力风险的能力。
You can really develop, the ability to take on more intellectual risks.
所以，承担风险意味着，不再觉得生活压得你喘不过气，或者没有机会，事情永远不会好转，而是敢于理性地想：也许我在这里能做点什么。
So taking a risk means instead of feeling like life is running you over or there are no opportunities or nothing's gonna ever work out, it would be an intellectual risk to say, well, maybe there's something I can do here.
让我给你讲个故事。
Well, let me give you a story.
有人邀请我去斯坦福新成立的设计学院讲一周的创业课。
I was asked to teach one week about entrepreneurship in the new design school at Stanford.
我当时就想，我怎么能在一个星期内做点什么呢？
And I was like, what can I do in one week?
所以我有14个团队，每个团队发了一个装着5美元的信封。
So I had 14 teams, and I gave them each an envelope with $5 in it.
我说，你们可以无限时间头脑风暴，但一旦打开这个信封，你们只有两小时时间，尽可能多地赚钱。
And I said, you can brainstorm as long as you want, but as soon as you open this envelope, you have two hours to make as much money as possible.
你们会怎么做？
What are you gonna do?
我实际上等于什么都没给他们。
And this was I basically gave them essentially nothing.
对吧？
Right?
就几美元。
A few dollars.
是的。
Uh-huh.
他们需要思考能创造什么价值。
And they needed to figure out what value they could create.
好的。
Okay.
当然有一些团队，我知道他们能做点什么。
Now there were the people I knew you could do something.
我可以开个柠檬水摊、洗车，或者做点小生意。
I could have a lemonade stand or a car wash or do something small.
确实有一些团队就这么做了。
And there were the groups that did that.
然后还有一些团队说，嘿。
Then there were the groups who said, hey.
你知道吗？
You know what?
这五美元其实是个烟幕弹。
That five dollars is a red herring.
我不需要那五美元。
I don't need the $5.
我有很多技能。
I've got all sorts of skills.
他们在校园中央设了个给自行车打气的摊位，赚了200美元，你知道吗？中途他们说，嘿，咱们别收钱了。
And they set up a stand to pump bike tires in the middle of campus, and they made $200, you know, because and halfway through, they said, hey, let's not charge people.
我们只接受捐赠，结果人们给得更多了。
Let's just ask for donations, and people paid them more.
或者他们在帕洛阿尔托的餐厅订位，你知道的，那些排队很长的餐厅。
Or they made reservations at restaurants in Palo Alto and as the you know, with long lines.
当轮到他们的预订时，他们就把预订权卖掉了。
And as the reservation came up, they sold the reservations.
哦，卖给排队的人。
Oh, to people waiting
在队伍里的人。
in line.
等着的人，是的。
Waiting in people in Yeah.
但后来有些人说，你知道吗？
So, but then there were the people who said, you know what?
那五美元和两小时只是一个烟幕弹。
The $5, the two hours was a red herring.
那五美元只是一个烟幕弹。
The $5 was a red herring.
也许我的三分钟演讲课才是价值所在。
Maybe my three minute presentation class is where the value is.
他们以650美元卖掉了它，你什么意思？
And they sold it for $650 What do you mean?
卖给了一家想招募这门课学生的公司。
To a company who wanted to recruit the students in the class.
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
所以他们占用了原本要展示研究成果的名额。
So they took their slot where they were gonna present their findings.
然后他们联系了一家公司，问：你们想来推广斯坦福的设计课吗？
And they called a company and said, do you wanna come and pitch a Stanford design class?
没错。
Exactly.
我之所以称这为一种智力上的冒险，是因为他们必须发挥创造力。
And the reason I call this an intellectual risk is they had to, like, be creative.
对吧？
Right?
他们必须想出有创意的解决方案。
They had to come up with creative solutions.
当我一无所有时，我该怎么办？
What do I do when I have nothing?
这也与运气有关，因为猜猜怎么着？
And this is also tied to luck because guess what?
机会无处不在。
Opportunities are everywhere.
大多数人会想，哦，我没钱。
Most people think, oh, I don't have any money.
但这些学生在一无所有的情况下创造了如此多的价值。
But these students created all this value with nothing.
他们环顾四周，发现身边的问题，并思考如何提出解决方案。
Looking around and seeing the problems that were around them and figuring out how they could come up with solutions.
这太酷了。
That's so cool.
我还有更多问题，但我想先休息一下。
I have so many more questions, but I wanna take a quick break.
首先，我想给我们赞助商一个展示的机会。
First of all, because I wanna give our sponsors a chance to shine.
其次，我想给你一个机会，把这一集发给生活中需要这个框架的人。
But secondly, I wanna give you a chance to text this episode or email this episode to the people in your life who need this framework.
他们需要知道如何创造自己的好运。
They need to know how to create their own luck.
我学到了很多东西。
I'm learning so much.
我有很多人要分享这个内容，我也希望你能这么做。
I have so many people I'm gonna share this with and I want you to do that too.
所以花点时间分享一下，别走开，因为回来后，我们还要和西莉格博士深入探讨更多内容。
So take a moment to share and don't go anywhere because when we return, there's so much more we're gonna dig into with Doctor.
蒂娜·赛利格。
Tina Seelig.
请继续关注我们。
Stay with us.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
这里是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，你和我要学习如何根据科学变得更有运气，创造属于自己的好运，嘉宾是斯坦福大学的蒂娜·塞利格博士。
And today, you and I are learning how to become luckier in life and create our own luck according to science with Stanford's Doctor.
蒂娜·塞利格。
Tina Seelig.
所以，博士。
So Doctor.
塞利格，我想接下来聊的是这个。
Seelig, the next thing I wanted to talk about was this.
为什么承担风险——无论是小小的财务风险、社交风险，还是
Why does taking risks, whether it's a small financial risk or it's a small social risk or it's
小小的体力风险、智力风险，去主动展现自己，
a small physical risk, small intellectual risk to put yourself out there.
能带来好运呢？
Why does that create luck?
通常是因为你走出了自己的舒适区。
Oftentimes, it's because you get yourself out of your comfort zone.
有很多很好的例子。
There are such great examples.
让我给你讲一个故事，这个故事很好地体现了这些原则。
Let me tell you a story that sort of encapsulates a number of these principles.
几个月前，有一个年轻人联系了我。
There was a young man who reached out to me a few months ago.
也许，实际上，可能是一年前。
Maybe, actually, maybe it's about a year ago.
这个年轻人叫奥利弗，他在观看了我关于运气的TED演讲后联系了我。
This young man, his name is Oliver, And he reached out to me after he watched my TED Talk on luck.
他说，你知道吗？
And he said, you know what?
我非常认同这些观点，我想成为一名运气教练。
I really resonate with all of this, and I wanna become a luck coach.
好的。
K.
我说，幸运教练？
I said, a luck coach?
这听起来是个很棒的主意。
That sounds like a great idea.
他说，我能占用你五分钟时间吗？
And he said, could I just have five minutes of your time?
我只是想和你聊聊。
I just wanna talk to you.
我说，我很乐意。
And I said, I would be delighted.
于是我安排了个时间和他交谈，我们聊得很愉快。
So I set up a time to talk to him, and we had a really nice chat.
顺便说一句，你可能会盯着那一刻说，他真幸运，你答应了。
By the way, you could either look at that one moment and say, well, he was really lucky that you said yes.
真幸运遇到的是你，而不是某个脾气古怪的教授，但我想你的观点是，如果他没有冒险提出见面请求，这件事根本不会发生。
Was really lucky that it was you and not some curmudgeon professor, but I think your point is if he hadn't taken the risk to ask for the meeting, it never would've happened.
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