7天习惯重置：今日开始，下周焕然一新

所以如果我想在生活中培养运动习惯，或者你想在生活中培养运动习惯，K。

So if I wanna start an exercise habit in my life or if you wanna start an exercise habit in your life K.

我们首先必须确定，得选择一个触发点。

We gotta figure out first of all, we have to choose a cue.

好的。

Okay.

触发点通常分为五类之一。

A cue usually falls into one of five categories.

它可以是特定地点、特定人群在场、特定情绪、一天中的特定时间，或是已成为仪式的前置行为。

It's a certain place, the presence of certain other people, a particular emotion, a particular time of day, or a preceding behavior that has become ritualized.

好的。

Okay.

所以如果我想建立运动习惯，我会尽可能多地设置触发点。

So if I wanna build an exercise habit, I'm gonna build as many cues as I as I can.

我会说，好吧。

I'm gonna say, okay.

看。

Look.

当我锻炼时，我会把闹钟设在7点。

When I exercise, I'm gonna set the alarm for 07:00.

我会把跑鞋直接放在床边。

I'm gonna have my running shoes right next to my bed.

我计划与我的朋友吉姆K碰面。

I'm gonna plan on meeting my friend Jim K.

在街角。

At the corner.

是的。

Yep.

对吧？

Right?

这就是我做的安排。

So here's what I've done.

我为自己设定了三个提示。

I've created three cues for myself.

一天中的某个时间、特定的环境、一个特别的地点——因为我看到了我的鞋子。

A time of day, a certain environment, a particular place because I see my shoes.

那是个提醒。

That's a reminder.

还有某些特定人物的在场。

And then the presence of certain other people.

对吧？

Right?

因为如果我没按计划去跑步，吉姆会生气的，毕竟我们约好了一起跑步。

Because Jim Jim's gonna be pissed if I don't show up to, like after we planned to run together.

没错。

Yep.

所以现在我为我的锻炼计划设置了一些提示。

So now I've set some cues for my exercise routine.

而提示的关键在于，它就像在叮叮叮地提醒你，查尔斯。

And the cue the the important thing about the cue is it is there to kinda go ding ding ding, Charles.

完全正确。

That's exactly right.

这就是做你说过要做的事情的时候

This is the time to do this thing you said you were

该做的事。

gonna do.

久而久之，只要看到那个提示就会让你自动开始锻炼。

Over time, just seeing that cue will make you automatically start exercising.

好的。

Okay.

明白了。

Got it.

我们希望它们能保持一定的稳定性，我们就是要选择这样的提示。

We we we want them to be somewhat stable, and we're just gonna choose them.

我们只是说它可以是任何东西。

And we're just it can be anything.

我们可以进行尝试。

We can experiment with them.

然后我就会去锻炼。

Then I'm gonna go, and I'm gonna do my exercise.

我要跑三个街区。

I'm gonna run for three blocks.

好的。

Okay.

对吧？

Right?

之后，一旦完成提示和常规动作...

And afterwards, as soon as I can so we've done the cue of the routine.

第三部分就是奖励。

The third part is the reward.

之后，我会尽快给自己一个奖励。

Afterwards, I'm gonna give myself a reward as quickly as I can.

那奖励是什么呢？举个例子说说看。

And what's a what give me an example of reward.

奖励嘛，比如说你去跑步。

A reward let's say you go on a run.

奖励可以是你回家后喝一杯冰沙。

A reward could be you have a smoothie when you come home.

对吧？

Right?

奖励也可以是让自己洗个舒服的长澡。

A reward could be you'd let yourself take a nice long shower.

奖励甚至可以是准备一个小日历，每天锻炼后打个勾，看着它你会想：天啊。

A reward could even be that you have a little calendar, and you make a check every day you go for an exercise, and you look at it and you think, oh my gosh.

这个月我已经打了13个勾了。

I have 13 checks this month.

我太棒了。

I'm amazing.

任何事都可以变成奖励。

Anything can be made into a reward.

我们只需要给自己那份奖励。

We just have to give ourselves that reward.

现在把这和大多数人尝试开始锻炼的方式对比一下。

Now compare that to how most people try to start exercising.

对吧？

Right?

他们实际做的是这样的。

Here's what they do instead.

他们说，我明天要去锻炼。

They say, I'm gonna go exercising tomorrow.

然后他们七点醒来，感觉，嗯，很累。

And then they wake up at seven, and they're, like, tired.

然后他们就会想，我的鞋在哪呢？

And they're like, where are my shoes?

我的跑步装备在哪？

Where's my running stuff?

接着他们跑上三四个街区就回家了，结果反而耽误了时间。

Then they go and they run three or four blocks, and they come home, and now they're running behind.

对吧？

Right?

孩子们还要吃早餐。

And the kids need breakfast.

于是他们赶紧冲进淋浴间。

And, like so they jump in the shower.

他们用最快的速度冲了个澡。

They take the fastest shower that they can.

然后匆忙送孩子上学，因为孩子上学要迟到了。

Then they're rushing to get the kids to school because they're gonna be late for school.

然后我又匆忙赶去办公室。

Then I'm rushing to my office.

可一到办公室，我就没时间处理那些邮件了。

And as soon as I got to my office, I wasn't able to do all those emails.

这种情况下，我其实是在为晨练惩罚自己。

What I'm doing in that case, I'm actually punishing myself for exercising that morning.

太真实了。

So true.

然后第二天早晨醒来时，你就会想：我不想锻炼了，因为时间根本不够——你满脑子都是昨天失败的教训。

And then the next morning when you wake up, you're like, I don't feel like doing this because I don't have enough time because you're thinking about the fact that yesterday, it didn't work.

大脑会记住你奖励和惩罚自己的每件事。

Your brain pays attention to what you reward yourself for and what you punish yourself for.

如果你因锻炼而惩罚自己——即使你本意并非如此，即使只是没提前规划导致事后手忙脚乱——你的大脑就会产生抗拒：我再也不想锻炼了。

And if you punish yourself for exercising, even if you don't mean to punish yourself for exercising, even if just not thinking about it ahead of time makes what happens afterwards a punishment, your brain will be like, I don't wanna exercise anymore.

这根本不会让事情变轻松。

I'm not gonna make that easier.

哇。

Wow.

所以听起来我们每个人犯的最大错误就是没有理解这三个组成部分，也没有有意识地明确它们是什么。

So it sounds like the single biggest mistake that each and every one of us makes is not understanding these three components That's exactly and not being intentional about what they are.

因为如果你不具备这三个组成部分，你就无法锁定那些让它自动化的要素。

Because if you don't have the three components, you're not locking in the pieces that make it automatic.

完全正确。

That's exactly right.

你知道吗？

You know what?

我想举两个例子看看是否...如果你曾经训练过狗，就像我们总说那句傻话'去看小狗'。

Can give I wanna give two examples to see if So these are if you've ever trained a dog, like we have this dumb thing that we always say, let's go see the puppy.

这就像是口头提示，表示我们要出去，走到草坪上我希望训练你大小便的地方。

That's like the verbal cue to be like, we're going outside and we're walking to the part of the lawn where I hope I'm gonna train you to go number two or number one.

对。

Right.

我寻找的模式是跟我走。

The pattern I'm looking for is walk with me.

在那个提示之后，'我们去看小狗'。

After that cue, let's go see the puppy.

然后当它们去上厕所时，我们会怎么做？

And then when they go to the bathroom, what do we do?

我们给它们一块饼干，这就是奖励。

We give them a biscuit, and that's the reward.

完全正确。

That's exactly right.

因为现在你正在训练狗狗理解那个口头提示会带来饼干。

Because now you're getting the dog to be trained to understand that that verbal cue leads to the biscuit.

完全正确，让我们聊聊你大脑里会发生什么。

That's exactly and let's talk about what happens in your brain.

你的大脑，基底神经节，实际上会接收那个提示、那个例行程序和那个行为。

Your brain, the basal ganglia, actually will take that cue, that routine, the behavior.

提示、惯例、奖励。

Cue routine reward.

它会将这些连接起来，并实际上使大脑中参与该活动的神经突触部分变得更厚。

It'll connect them and actually make the neural synapses between those parts of your brain that are involved with that activity make them thicker.

因此，电脉冲更容易沿着那个突触传递，从而激活大脑的那部分区域。

So it's easier for an for an electrical impulse to run down that synapse and to actually activate that part of your brain.

你的大脑设计就像我们狗狗的大脑，就像地球上任何动物的大脑一样，你的大脑天生就会建立习惯。

Your brain is designed just like our dog's brain, just like every brain of any animal on Earth, your brain is designed to build habits.

因为如果没有习惯，你甚至不知道如何从椅子上站起来。

Because if you didn't have habits, you wouldn't know how to stand up from your chair.

如果你走在街上看到一个苹果和一块石头，你将不得不停下来思考：我该捡起哪个来吃？

If you were walking down the street and you saw an apple and a rock, you would have to stop and think, which one of those should I pick up and eat?

习惯是我们大脑使用的一种节能技术，这样我们就能思考其他事情。

Habits are an energy saving technique that our brain uses so that we can think about other things.

你知道有趣的是，当我想到训练狗狗的例子时，只要我说'我们去看小狗吧'，我就知道狗狗根本不会思考撒尿的事。

You know what's interesting is that as I think about the example of training a dog, the second I say, let's go see the puppy, I know the dog is not tree thinking about peeing.

狗狗想的是奖励零食。

The dog is thinking about a treat.

而且，你知道吗，当我回想生命中那段拥有坚如磐石——我指的是花岗岩般牢固、深厚、惊人的每日锻炼习惯的时期，那是我刚当年轻妈妈的时候，特别喜欢一家瑜伽工作室。

And, you know, if I think back to a period of my life where I had a rock solid I'm talking keystone made of granite, thick, amazing habit of exercising every day, It was when I was a young mom, and there was a particular yoga studio that I loved.

我总是去上这堂特定的课，所以我会设好闹钟，晚上把瑜伽服放在地板上，这样醒来时衣服就在眼前。

And I would always go to this particular class, so I would set my alarm, and I would put my my yoga outfit on the floor at night so that when I woke up, it was right there.

我必须看到它。

I had to see it.

通常我会在那里和朋友碰面。

I typically met a friend there.

课后，街对面有家很棒的面包店，我可以在那里买杯拿铁。

And afterwards, there was a great bakery across the street where I could get a latte.

如果带着孩子，他们看书时还能得到巧克力碎马芬。

And if I had the kids in tow and they were reading a book, they could get, a chocolate chip muffin.

对吧。

Right.

有趣的是，也许你能解释这一点，就是当闹钟响起的那一刻，在我连续几周这样做之后，我看到瑜伽服——用你的话来说，这就是一个提示。

And what's interesting, and maybe you can explain this, is that the second the alarm went off, once I had done this several weeks in a row, and I saw the yoga clothes, which in your language is a cue.

所以这就是提示。

So this the cue.

我们要去做瑜伽了。

We're going to yoga.

现在我们要开始走路了。

Now we're doing the walk now.

我们现在要去做拉伸了。

We're gonna go, you know, do our stretches now.

无论你选择哪种运动方式，你都已经有了这个提示。

Whatever your form of exercise is, you've got the cue.

好的。

Okay.

我正在做这件事。

I'm doing it.

我一看到那些衣服，你知道我想到了什么吗？

The second I saw those clothes, do you know what I thought about?

那杯拿铁。

The latte.

没错。

Yeah.

我真的能感受到那杯冰拿铁的味道。

I literally could feel the taste of this iced latte.

你大脑里发生了什么，让你不去想锻炼，而是开始想着饼干（如果你是狗）或者拿铁（如果你是Meltrubs）。

What is happening in your brain that makes you not think about the exercise, but actually makes you start to think about the biscuit if you're a dog or the latte if you're melt rubs.

你最终会得到的奖励。

The reward you're gonna get at the end of it.

我之前提到过，习惯的存在是为了帮助我们的大脑节省能量。

So I mentioned before that habits exist to help our brain save energy.

好的。

K.

而我们的大脑总是想要节省能量。

And our brains always wanna save energy.

这是大脑的重要目标之一。

That's that's one of the brain's big goals.

所以它希望尽可能减少你生活中的决策负担。

And so it wants to take as many decisions out of your life as possible.

因此大脑在做的一件事就是告诉自己：好的，

And so one of the things that your brain is doing is it's saying, okay.

如果X发生了，如果我看到X，如果这个情况出现在生活中，我要让这个能带来奖励的行为变得尽可能简单、轻松且自动化。

If x happens, if I see x, if this q emerges in my life, I wanna make this behavior that I know delivers a reward to me as simple and easy and automatic as possible.

我不想为此费神思考。

I don't wanna have to think about it.

我不想为此付出努力。

I don't wanna have to work at it.

我不需要动用意志力来实现它。

I don't have to wanna use my willpower to make it happen.

嗯。

Mhmm.

而我实现这一点的方式，实际上是让大脑降低活跃度。

And the way that I do that is I actually power down the brain.

当你被习惯支配时，基底神经节实际上会减少思考活动。

The basal ganglia, when you're in the grip of a habit, you are actually thinking less.

你其实并没有在做决策。

You're actually not making decisions.

你只是在自动地行动。

You're just acting automatically.

我们都有过这种感觉。

And we've all felt that before.

对吧？

Right?

我们都觉得这种感觉有点让人放松。

We've all felt that it feels kind of relaxing.

就像，当你开车去商店时，却走上了平时回家的路，突然发现自己到家了，然后心想，哦，我本来没想回家的。

Like, when you're when you're driving to the store and you get onto the road that usually takes you home and suddenly you find yourself home and you're like, oh, I didn't mean to come home.

我是要去商店的。

I meant to go to the store.

或者我是怎么到这里的？

Or how did I even get here?

我都不记得开车的过程了。

I don't remember driving.

没错。

Right.

这是因为你处于放松状态，因为你不需要思考它。

It's because you're relaxed, because you're not having to think about it.

所以当你早上醒来看到那些运动服，开始想象拿铁咖啡时，你的大脑在说：让梅尔轻松去做瑜伽的最佳方式，因为我知道瑜伽对她有好处——毕竟它能带来一杯拿铁。

So what's happening when you would wake up in the morning and you would see those workout clothes and you started imagining the latte, your brain was saying, the best way to make it easy for Mel to go do yoga because I know that yoga is good for her because it delivers a latte.

我也不知道。

I don't know.

我知道这对她很重要，是她想要的东西。

I know I know it's something that she wants because it's something that's important to her.

我能帮她的最佳方式就是彻底消除对意志力的需求。

The best way I can help her is I can actually take away all the need for willpower.

我要让她形成自动化的习惯。

I'm gonna make it automatic for her.

关键在于一旦形成习惯，我们几乎不用思考就能完成。

And the thing is once it's automatic, we hardly even have to think about it.

自然而然就会去做。

We just do it.

哇。

Wow.

好吧。

Alright.

那我们接着讨论第二个关键习惯吧。

Well, let's move on to keystone habit number two.

那么第一个关键习惯，如果你想产生连锁反应，那就是运动。

So the first one, if you want a ripple effect, exercise.

完全正确。

Absolutely.

什么是

What is

第二个关键习惯？

the second keystone habit?

第二个关键习惯是建立晨间惯例。

So the second keystone habit is to have a morning routine.

晨间惯例真的非常、非常强大。

And morning routines are really, really powerful.

听众朋友们可能听过那些关于整理床铺的演讲。

Folks who are listening, they might have heard about these speeches that were given about making your bed.

对吧？

Right?

在许多毕业典礼演讲中，演讲者都说过，作为大学毕业生，你能做的最重要的事就是早上整理床铺。

That that a number of commencement speeches, the speakers have said the most important thing you can do as a college graduate is make your bed in the morning.

为什么呢？

Now why?

早上整理床铺这件事有什么特别之处？

What is it about making your bed in the morning?

其实，晨间作息往往决定了我们一整天的心情。

Well, a morning routine oftentimes determines how we feel about the rest of our day.

而我们对待这一天的感受，又会影响当天所做的选择以及形成的习惯。

And how we feel about our day influences the choices that we make and the habits that come out during that day.

每个晨间作息都应包含三个要素，这很容易记住。

Now a morning routine every morning routine should have three components, and it's easy to remember.

就是ARC法则。

It's ARC.

好。

K.

晨间惯例首先应该能让你对一天充满期待。

A morning routine should, first of all, create anticipation for the day.

对吧？

Right?

这种期待感意味着，或许我会选择——或许只是想想今天让我兴奋的一件事。

And anticipation means maybe I'm choosing maybe I'm just thinking about one thing I'm excited about today.

我会花三十秒想象一下，比如你知道，我要和梅尔共进午餐。

I'm just gonna take thirty seconds, and I'm just gonna imagine like, you know, I'm going to lunch with Mel.

我真的很期待那一刻。

I'm really looking forward to that.

我对这一天充满期待。

I've got anticipation for the day.

第二件事，R代表放松。

The second thing, r, is relaxation.

什么时候放松？

When I Relaxation?

放松。

Relaxation.

这并不意味着需要大量放松时间，但我会让我的神经系统稍微平静下来。

Now that doesn't mean it has to be a lot of relaxation, but I'm gonna let my nervous system calm down a little bit.

这可能意味着我只需喝杯好茶，然后做个深呼吸。

That might mean literally I just have a nice cup of tea and, like, do the whirl.

也可能意味着我洗个澡，然后让自己在淋浴间放松个十到十五秒。

It might mean I take a shower, and then and I just let myself kind of, like, relax in the shower for ten or fifteen seconds.

对吧？

Right?

所以ARC就是：期待感、放松感。

So ARC, anticipation, relaxation.

而晨间惯例要真正有效，第三要素是建立联系——你需要在早晨至少与一个人产生联结。

And then the third thing that a morning routine ought to have to be really powerful is to have connection, that you want to connect with at least one other person sometime in the morning.

这个人可能是你的丈夫。

Now that might mean that it's your husband.

可能是你的孩子们。

It might mean it's your kids.

可能是你的狗狗。

It might mean it's your dog.

可能是你给鱼喂食。

It might mean that you feed the fish.

但这种联结感会唤醒你内心的某种东西，意味着你会在白天主动寻求人际联结，而我们与他人社交时是最快乐的。

But that sense of connection is going to wake something up in you that means you will seek out connection during the day, and we are happiest when we're socializing with other people.

所以就是这三个组成部分吗？

So those are the three components?

这就是建立晨间习惯的三个要素。

Those are the three components of building a morning routine.

哇。

Wow.

而且它们真的很简单。

And they're really simple.

这非常简单明了。

It's very straightforward.

我们就以整理床铺为例吧。

So let's take making your bed as an example.

好。

K.

对吧？

Right?

其实重要的不仅仅是整理床铺这个行为本身。

So it's not actually just the making the bed that matters.

重要的是什么？

What matters?

重要的是当我在整理床铺时，我在对自己说：你知道吗？

What matters is that when I'm making that bed, I'm saying to myself, you know what?

我要以这样的方式开始：今天会是美好的一天。

I'm gonna start by making like, today's gonna be a good day.

我已经在期待了。

I'm in I'm doing the anticipation.

今天会是美好的一天。

Today's gonna be a good day.

我已经开始了。

I started.

我起床了。

I woke up.

我的房间看起来真不错。

I'm gonna my room looks really nice.

被子铺得平平整整。

The comforter's all smooth.

今天会是美好的一天。

This is gonna be a good day.

充满期待。

Anticipation.

放松。

Relaxation.

其实当你整理床铺时，常常会发生的情况就是你会有种感觉：今早我有时间。

Actually, when you're making that bed, like, oftentimes, one of the things that happens is you kind of just, like, feel like, I have time this morning.

你必须有个能让你有时间整理床铺的日程安排。

You have to have a schedule that'll gives you the time to make your true.

你必须要有时间放松。

You have to you have to have time to relax.

对吧？

Right?

如果你最后一刻才起床，就没法整理床铺了。

If you wake up at the last minute, you can't make your bed.

所以如果你把闹钟设早一点，这样你就能整理床铺，突然间你就有时间喝那杯咖啡、看报纸、玩填字游戏了。

So if you set your alarm a little bit earlier so that you can make your bed, now suddenly you've got time to have that cup of coffee, to to read the paper, to do the Wordle.

这样你既有期待感，又有放松感和连接感。

So you've got the anticipation, you got the relaxation, the connection.

大多数时候我整理床铺时，其实也是在帮我妻子整理她的床。

Most of the time when I make that bed, it's also I'm making my wife's bed.

对吧？

Right?

我和妻子睡在同一张床上。

My wife and I, we sleep in the same bed.

所以当我整理床铺时，我是在为她做一件贴心的事。

And so when I make that bed, I'm doing something nice for her.

我正与她建立情感连接。

I'm connecting to her.

可能她已经出门了，但仅仅提醒自己'我要把床铺整理得漂漂亮亮等莉兹回家'，就能让我感受到这种联结。

Now she might have already left for the day, but simply reminding myself, I'm gonna make this bed look nice for Liz when she comes home, that gives me that connection.

像整理床铺这样简单的事，只需15到20秒，就足以建立一个能改变你一整天的晨间习惯。

So something as simple as making a bed, which takes, what, fifteen, twenty seconds, that is enough to build a morning routine that can change the rest of your day.

这就是你锁定这个关键习惯的方法：起床后整理床铺，但要花点时间专注其中，从而获得研究指出的所有益处。

So that's the way that you can start to lock in this keystone habit is when you get out of bed, make the bed, but take a little bit of time and be present as you're doing it to get all of that goodness that the research says.

然后你可以在此基础上继续添加。

And then you can add on from there.

你可以在此基础上继续添加。

You can add on from there.

你可能已经注意到，我们正在给自己一个奖励。

And the thing that is you might have noticed is that we're giving ourselves a reward.

对吧？

Right?

奖励是什么？

The reward?

提示就是当我醒来时。

Well, the cue is that I'm waking up.

我看着未整理的床铺，然后去把它整理好。

I look at the at the unmade bed, and I'm gonna go make the bed.

对吧？

Right?

好的。

Okay.

这就是提示。

There's the cue.

这是例行程序。

There's the routine.

我正在整理床铺。

I'm making the bed.

好的。

Okay.

奖励就是我会给自己一点小小的鼓励。

The reward is that I'm giving myself a little bit of, a little bit of, like, props.

对吧？

Right?

我为妻子做了件好事。

I did something nice for my wife.

我应该为自己感到相当不错。

Should feel pretty good about myself.

这很整洁。

That's a clean.

我之后就不用再做这个了。

I don't have to do this later.

我看着我的房间，它看起来棒极了。

I look at my room, and it looks amazing.

这也算是一种奖励。

That's kind of a reward.

现在还有其他早晨可以做的事情能符合ARC模式的例子吗？

Now are there other examples of things you could do in the morning that check off the ARC?

当然有。

Absolutely.

有哪些

What are

它们是什么？

they?

可以是任何事。

They can be anything.

关键不在于某些行为比其他行为更有力量。

The key isn't that there are some behaviors that are more powerful than others.

关键在于选择你想要的行为，并赋予它期待感、放松感和连接感。

The key is to take the behavior you want and to give it that anticipation, that relaxation, and that connection.

好的。

Okay.

因为我知道听众和我一样，他们就想知道具体该做什么。

So because I know that the person listening is like me, and they're like, just tell me what to do.

对。

Right.

所以你的意思是，晨间例行事项中并没有哪些特定事项比其他事项更重要。

So you're basically saying that it's not that there's particular things in the morning routine that are more important than others.

关键在于你需要养成这个核心习惯：每天早晨固定做某件事，目的就是为了培养期待感，让自己稍微放松，也就是真正放慢节奏，这样你的早晨就不会像龙卷风一样开始。

It's that you need to create this keystone habit of having your routine of something you do in the morning every morning simply for the sake of creating anticipation, relaxing a little, which means just actually slowing yourself down so your morning doesn't start like a tornado.

对。

Yeah.

还有那个C开头的连接是什么来着？

And what was the c Connection.

连接。

Connection.

对。

Yeah.

某种连接，无论是与自己的连接、与他人的连接，还是与当下时刻的连接。

Some connection either to yourself, to another person, to being present in the moment.

那么像‘冥想’这样的例子吗？

So are examples like meditation?

完全正确。

Absolutely.

冥想就是一个很好的例子。

Meditation is a great example.

对吧？

Right?

因为当你冥想时，通常你是在为接下来的日子做些心理准备。

Because when you're meditating, usually what you're doing is you're, like, anticipating a little bit the rest of the day.

对吧？

Right?

我真的很想保持冷静，因为即将有个会议，我很期待，但我不想太过兴奋。

I I really wanna get centered because I have that meeting coming up, I'm looking forward to it, but I don't wanna be too excited.

对吧？

Right?

我正在放松，因为冥想就是放松，同时也在与自我连接。

I'm relaxing because meditation is relaxation, and I'm connecting with myself.

连接并不一定要与他人建立。

Connection doesn't have to be with another person.

我可以与自己建立连接。

I can connect with myself.

或者我们以晨间日记或每日晨祷为例。

Or let's take morning journaling or saying a prayer every morning.

有很多人发现他们生活中真正强大的关键习惯——晨间例行程序，就是醒来后做祷告。

There's a number of people who find that the keystone habit in their life that's really powerful, their morning routine, is that they wake up and they say a prayer.

为什么这会如此有效？

Why would that be powerful?

首先，当我在祷告时，我经常会想到我想要帮助的人，想到今晚要见到我的儿子。

Well, it's because, first of all, as I'm saying that prayer, I'm oftentimes thinking about the people I wanna help, the people that that I'm gonna see my son tonight.

我希望他平安，但也期待见到他。

I want him to be safe, but I'm excited to see him.

这就是那种期待感。

There's that anticipation.

我正处于沉思的时刻，这让人感到放松。

I'm in a moment of contemplation, and that's relaxing.

我正在与我祈祷的对象建立联系。

And I'm connecting to whoever you're praying to.

这种联系不一定非得是与他人建立的。

The connection doesn't have to be with another person.

可以是与我们自己的连接。

It can be with ourself.

可以是与某种精神的连接。

It can be with a spirit.

但这种联系提醒我们，从与他人社交、花时间成为社区一员中能获得多大价值。

But that connection reminds us how much value we get from socializing with other people with spending time being part of a community.

你提到过运动如何产生这种连锁反应，有研究表明运动的人会戒烟。

You talked about how exercise creates this ripple effect, and there's all this research that shows that people that exercise stop smoking.

他们白天的开销会减少。

They spend less money during the day.

他们会做出其他健康的选择。

They make other healthy choices.

养成一种晨间习惯，这种习惯包含期待感、放慢节奏和放松身心、活在当下，以及与自我、自然或他人的连接，是如何影响生活的？

How does creating a habit of a morning routine that has this anticipation, this slowing down and relaxing and being in the moment, and the connection to self or connection to nature or connection to another person.

每天早晨坚持做这三件事，是如何对你的全天产生涟漪效应的？

How is it that having something you do every morning that has those three things, how does that ripple through your day?

有两个方面。

In two ways.

首先，当你建立这种晨间习惯时，实际上需要提前做好规划。

Well, one of them is when you have that morning routine, you actually have to kinda plan for it.

对吧？

Right?

如果我知道早上要开始整理床铺，我昨天就发现，当我试着整理床铺时，结果时间不够用。

If I know that I'm gonna start making my bed in the morning I I figured out yesterday that, like, I tried to make my bed, and it was just I ran out of time.

所以今天我要把闹钟提前五分钟。

So today, I'm gonna set my alarm five minutes earlier.

对吧？

Right?

这样我就有时间整理床铺了。

So I have time to make my bed.

而且，你会想我就是那种会整理床铺的人，这意味着我很有条理

And, also, you're thinking I'm just the kind of person that makes my bed, which means I'm orderly

我很有条理性。

I'm organized.

我很自律。

I'm disciplined.

我就是那种早上起床后整理好床铺，就能去做其他大事的人。

I'm the kind of person who can go do other great stuff because I woke up this morning, and I made my bed.

所以这非常重要的一点是，我正在改变自我认知。

So that's a really important part of it is I'm changing my self image.

我强迫自己稍作计划。

I'm forcing myself to plan a little bit.

但最重要的是，我真正在做的是提醒自己要保持主动性。

But most of all, what I'm really doing is I'm reminding myself to be intentional.

回想一下你人生中最有目的性的那些时刻。

Think about all the times in your life when you've been most intentional.

对吧？

Right?

当你为丈夫精心挑选礼物时，当你策划派对时，当你准备对孩子说些真正有意义的话时。

When you the the gifts you get for your husband that you really think about, the party that you plan, the thing you're gonna say to your kid that, like, really, like, is something meaningful.

我们越是有目的性，就越能实现目标，也越快乐。

The more intentional we are, the more we achieve our goals and the happier we are.

建立晨间习惯、晨间仪式，能让我们更有意识地做到这一点。

And there's something about building a morning routine, a morning ritual that allows us to be intentional about it.

当我们有意识地行动时，实际上是在给自己一份礼物——让我们能思考接下来一天、一周的安排，所有想实现的目标此刻都触手可及。

And when we are intentional, what we're doing is we're giving ourselves the gift of being able to think about the rest of our day, the rest of our week, all the things we wanna accomplish that now feel like they're within grasp.

这太有道理了。

That makes so much sense.

现在似乎是个绝佳的暂停时机，让我们优秀的赞助商有机会说几句话。

This feels like a great moment to hit the pause button, give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words.

正如你一直在聆听查尔斯的教诲，我相信，就像我一样，你正在思考生活中想要培养的各种习惯，可能也在想着身边那些需要改善习惯的人。

And as you've been listening and learning from Charles, I am sure, just like me, you are thinking about all kinds of habits that you would love to create in your life, and you're probably also thinking about people in your life who need better habits.

你知道他们需要什么吗？

You know what they need?

他们生活中需要一点查尔斯·杜伊格的智慧。

They need a little Charles Dooig in their life.

所以把这段对话分享给他们吧。

So share this conversation with them.

由他来传达比你我更有效。

Better it comes from him than you and me.

你懂我意思吧？

You know what I'm saying?

分享这段对话。

Share this conversation.

别走开。

Don't go anywhere.

查尔斯回来后还会教你更多让习惯养成更轻松的方法。

Charles has so much more to teach you about making habits easier when we return.

所以请继续关注我们。

So stay with us.

‘让他们理论’是这个节日季你能送出的最佳礼物。

The let them theory is the best gift you can give this holiday season.

这是送给不堪重负者的礼物，给讨好型人格者的礼物，给承担太多的朋友的礼物，给因处理他人情绪而精疲力竭的兄弟姐妹的礼物，给需要休息的同事的礼物。

It's the gift you give to someone who's overwhelmed, to the people pleaser, to the friend who carries way too much, to the sibling who's exhausted from dealing with everyone else's emotions, to the coworker who needs a break.

它有意义、实用、有趣且能改变人生。

It's meaningful, it's practical, it's hilarious, and it's life changing.

为你清单上的每个人都准备一份‘让他们理论’。

The Let Them Theory for everyone on your list.

可在letthem.com及各大书店购买。

Available at letthem.com and wherever books are sold.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。

It's your buddy Mel Robbins.

今天，我们要重点讨论习惯这个话题。

Today, we are talking all things habits in particular.

三个能为你生活带来积极改变的关键习惯，以及研究揭示的让养成新习惯更轻松的方法。

Three keystone habits that create positive change for your life and what the research says about what you can do to make forming new habits easier.

研究怎么说？关于拥有晨间习惯的人——这种习惯能创造期待感、放松感（意味着我们放慢节奏，而不是像龙卷风一样匆忙度过早晨），以及与自我、他人或重要事物的联结——与没有晨间习惯的人之间有何区别？

What does the research say about the difference between a person that has a habit of having a morning routine that creates anticipation, relaxation, meaning we're slowing down, we're not running through the morning like a freaking tornado, and connection to something like yourself or other people or something important to you.

这两类人之间有什么区别？即使只是整理床铺这样的小事？

What's the difference between that person, even if it's just making your bed, and somebody who doesn't have a morning routine?

研究怎么说？

What's the research say?

研究表明，当你拥有晨间习惯时，往往会做出更好的决策。

Well, what the research says is that when you have that morning routine, you tend to make much better decisions.

特别是，你更能明智地决定该专注于哪些事情。

And in particular, you tend to make better decisions on what to focus on.

对吧？

Right?

想想我们每天生活中面临的挑战，很多情况下，有些事我本想专注处理，却总是分心。

So if you think about the challenges that we all face every day in life, a lot of them are, there's some things that I want to be able to focus on, but I get distracted.

有人带着问题来找我，我就分心了。

I get distracted by someone bringing me a problem.

我得应对孩子们的需求。

I have to react to my kids.

手机让我分心。

I get distracted by my phone.

刚弹出的邮件让我分心，突然就开始担心别的事。

I get distracted by this email that just came on, and I'm suddenly worrying about something.

是啊。

Yeah.

我们想完成真正在意的事，而这些干扰正是让我们偏离目标的东西。

We want to accomplish the things that we care about, and those distractions are the things that draw us away from it.

当我们以晨间习惯开始时，正因为这种有意识的行为，我们实际上是在宣称：我是一个不被动应对的人。

And when we start with a morning routine, because of that intentionality, what we're saying is we're saying, I'm the kind of person who doesn't react.

我是一个积极主动的人，能够自主选择将注意力投向何处。

I'm the kind of person who is proactive, who makes choices about where to focus my attention.

这非常非常有力，因为当我们开始将自己定义为主动做出选择而非被动应对生活混乱的人时，突然间我们就会以这种视角看待自己。

And that's really, really powerful because as we start defining ourselves as a person who makes proactive choices rather than reacting to the chaos of life, then suddenly, we start seeing ourselves in that light.

当手机弹出通知时，你会说：无所谓。

And when that notification pops up on your phone, you say, whatever.

我可以晚点再处理它。

I'll I'll wait until later to deal with it.

我现在专注于当下想专注的事情。

I'm focused on what I wanna be focused on right now.

哇。

Wow.

考虑到听众可能和我很像，他们大概在想：好吧，但晨间习惯具体该包含哪些事项呢？

So knowing that the person listening is probably a lot like me, and they're like, okay, but what's the list of things that should be in the morning routine?

我的意思是，显然你可以锻炼身体，因为那是另一个关键习惯。

I mean, clearly you can exercise because that's another keystone habit.

所以你现在同时提升了两件事。

So now you're powering up two things.

但如果你要给某人提供一个类似菜单的选择

But if you had to give somebody like a menu

嗯。

Mhmm.

让他们在建立晨间习惯时可以参考。

Of things to choose from if they're building a morning routine.

根据研究，你会希望人们考虑的前五项内容是什么？

Based on the research, what are kind of the top five things that you would want somebody to think about?

当然，我们还得把ARC框架融入其中。

And obviously, we gotta bring the, ARC framework to it.

是的。

Yeah.

对吧？

Right?

我们实际上正在将我们的行动融入其中。

Where we're actually infusing what we're doing with it.

但根据研究，具体要做哪些事情才是最重要的呢？

But what are like the actual things to do that based on the research are kind of the big ones?

我们了解到有几件事，当人们在早晨做时，总能产生强大的效果。

So there's a couple of things that we know consistently have a powerful effect on people when they do them in the morning.

好的。

K.

除了整理床铺外，如果做一些带有整理性质的事情，会让你感到安定。

In addition to making your bed, if you do something that has an organizational element, it makes you feel settled.

它能带来那种放松感。

It brings that relaxation.

通常在你整理的过程中，它还会给你机会去思考这一天。

It'll usually gives you a chance as you're organizing to think about the day.

而且很多时候，当我们整理时，其实是在为他人做事。

And oftentimes when we're organizing, we're doing it for other people.

比如什么？

Like what?

举个例子。

Give me an example.

我每天早上醒来后，会在房子里转一圈，收拾孩子们到处乱放的杯子。

I wake up every morning, and I go through the house, and I pick up all the stuff that my kids have left on they leave cups everywhere.

每个台面上都有杯子。

There's cups on every single surface.

我把所有杯子收起来，拿到水槽边放好，这是我早晨的仪式之一。

I pick up all the cups, and I bring them to the sink, and I put them in the That's one of my morning rituals.

另一个仪式是吃早餐。

Another one is eating breakfast.

对吧？

Right?

当我们与家人共进早餐，甚至独自吃早餐时，这个晨间仪式我们深知其影响深远。

When we sit down and we eat breakfast with our family or even if we eat breakfast by ourselves, that is a morning ritual that we know has huge impacts.

事实上，国家体重减轻登记处——地球上最大的减肥成功者数据库指出，决定你是否能减肥的两大因素之一就是吃早餐。

In fact, the National Weight Loss Registry, the largest database of people who have lost weight on earth, say that there are two major things that determine if you lose weight, and one of them is eating breakfast.

真的吗？

Really?

那为什么吃早餐对帮助我减肥如此有效呢？

Now why is eating breakfast so powerful in helping me lose weight?

因为我在吃东西啊。

Because I'm eating.

嗯，主要有两个原因。

Well, for two things.

第一，我白天晚些时候不会感到饥饿。

Number one, I'm not hungry later in the day.

它帮助我规律饮食。

It helps me regulate my meals.

我感到一种自律感。

I feel a sense of discipline.

但第二点，如果我有一个早餐习惯，这意味着我在生活中为早餐留出了空间。

But number two, if I have a breakfast routine, it means that I have created space in my life for having breakfast.

我敢打赌，我会说，看吧，我每天早上都必须吃早餐。

I'll bet you, I'm like, look, I have to have breakfast every single morning.

吃那碗麦片只需要十分钟。

It's gonna take ten minutes to eat that bowl of cereal.

我需要把闹钟提前十分钟。

I need to set my alarm ten minutes earlier.

突然间，我就变得有规划了。

Now suddenly, I'm being intentional.

突然间，我开始规划我的一天要怎么过。

Now suddenly, I'm planning what my day is gonna be like.

所以如果你能做一些有组织性的事情，那将会非常有效。

So if you can do something that has an organizational element, that's gonna be powerful.

如果你吃早餐，那会很有力量。

If you eat breakfast, that's gonna be powerful.

第三点是如果你有机会与他人共度时光。

Number three is if you get a chance to spend time with other people.

这可能意味着在早餐桌上与孩子们共处。

Now that might mean spending time with your kids at the breakfast table.

也可能意味着你与朋友一起步行上班，你们约好一起走过去。

It might mean that you walk to work with your friend, and you guys meet up, and you walk over together.

还可能是你带狗狗散步或给它一个拥抱。

It might mean that you're taking your dog for a walk or you're giving him a cuddle.

对吧？

Right?

当我发现一个带有社交性质的日常习惯时，那将成为一个强有力的晨间惯例。

When I find a habit that has some sociability to it, that's gonna be a powerful morning routine.

然后在此基础上，它几乎可以成为你想要的任何形式。

And then from there, it can be almost anything you want it to be.

只要你决定这是我每天早上想作为晨间例行事项的行为，我每天早上都会写日记。

As long as you decide this is a behavior I wanna do every morning as part of my morning routine, I'm gonna journal every morning.

我每天早上都会祈祷。

I'm going to say a prayer every morning.

我每天早上都会冥想。

I'm going to meditate every morning.

无论是什么。

Whatever it is.

我会给朋友打个电话。

I'm going to call up a friend.

我会听我喜欢的喜剧演员的节目。

I'm going to listen to this comedian that I like.

无论是什么，只要你围绕它做计划，你就会对这个活动有所期待。

Whatever it is, as long as you're planning around it, you have a sense of anticipation for the event.

它会为这一天创造期待感。

It creates anticipation for the day.

你感到放松是因为这是你喜欢的事情，让你与某事物产生了连接。

You're relaxing because it's something you enjoy, and you feel connected to something.

那么它就会变得很有力量。

Then it's gonna be powerful.

我太喜欢这个了。

I love that.

我绝对爱死这个了。

I absolutely love that.

你看到人们在培养这种晨间习惯时，常犯哪些无法坚持的错误吗？

Is there any mistake that you see people making in terms of not being able to lock in Yeah.

就是包含这些要素的晨间习惯？

The habit of a morning routine that has these elements?

我们有时犯的错误是不让自己享受奖励。

The mistake that we sometimes make is that we don't allow ourselves to enjoy the reward.

对吧？

Right?

奖励是什么？

What is the reward?

好吧。

Well, okay.

我们来谈谈锻炼这个话题。

Let's talk about exercise for a minute.

想想有多少人会这样说：'我今天早上去跑步了，然后奖励自己喝了一杯超级健康的羽衣甘蓝奶昔'。

Think about how many people will say, like, you know, I went for a run this morning, and then I let myself have a really good kale smoothie.

这根本不算奖励。

That is not a reward.

没人喜欢喝羽衣甘蓝奶昔。

Nobody likes a kale smoothie.

对吧？

Right?

我们喝它只是因为觉得这样显得自己很自律。

We drink them because it feels virtuous to us.

但那些会坚持锻炼的人会说，我喝了一杯咖啡，然后添加了一些水果，还加了一点糖。

But the people who are gonna continue exercising are the ones who say, I had a kale smoothie, and then I added some fruit to it, and I put a little bit of sugar in it.

或者我喝了一杯草莓奶昔，虽然比羽衣甘蓝奶昔稍微不那么健康，但你知道吗？

Or I had a strawberry smoothie, which is a little bit less healthy than a kale smoothie, but you know what?

我真的很喜欢它。

I really like it.

很多时候，尤其是在美国，因为我们都是斯多葛主义者。

Oftentimes, particularly in America, because we we are stoics.

对吧？

Right?

我们不喜欢奖励自己。

We don't like to reward ourselves.

对你们自己来说，不过好吧。

For yourselves, but okay.

继续说吧。

Go ahead.

很多时候，我们做了正确的事却试图惩罚自己。

Oftentimes, we try and punish ourselves for doing the right thing.

对吧？

Right?

我刚跑完长跑，现在不是懒洋洋地看电视，而是要去举重。

I just went on that long run, and now instead of just, like, lazing in front of the TV, now I'm gonna go lift some weights.

所以我们在建立晨间仪式或其他习惯时犯的最大错误，就是既不给自己奖励，也不让自己享受奖励。

So the biggest mistake that we make when it comes to morning rituals or when it comes to any other habit that we're building is not giving ourself a reward and then not letting ourselves enjoy the reward.

嗯，我不知道晨间例行公事的奖励是什么。

Well, I don't know what the reward is in the morning routine.

好的。

Okay.

那我们具体在讨论哪个例行事项？

So which which routine are we talking about?

假设我正在冥想。好的。

Let's just say I'm I'm meditating Okay.

这还不是我的习惯

Which I don't have as a habit.

所以我不知道为什么选这个例子

So I don't know why I'm picking that one.

不过就是...这样

But that's that's So

那你冥想后通常感觉如何？

what's when you do meditate, how do you usually feel afterwards?

嗯，过去当我冥想时，我感到很有成就感。

Well, when I have meditated in the past, I feel accomplished.

我感觉更加专注当下。

I feel more present.

我感到自豪，因为我做到了，我是那种会冥想的人，因为我嫁给了这样一个会冥想的人。

I feel, proud of myself that I did it, that I'm the kind of person that meditates because I'm married to somebody who is that kind of person.

所以这些其实都是奖励的初始形态。

And so so those are all the beginnings of rewards.

问题是，我们如何将它们转化为一种奖励？

The question is, how do we make them into a reward?

因为如果你感到有所成就，如果你为自己感到骄傲，那就是一种奖励。

Because if you feel accomplished, if you feel proud of yourself, that's a reward.

是的。

Yes.

这是你给予自己的奖励。

It's a reward you're giving yourself.

那么我们如何将其转化为具体的东西呢？

So how do we make it into something tangible?

我不知道

I don't

知道。

know.

我们转身把它写下来。

We turn and we write it down.

我们准备一个日历，在上面记录'我今天冥想过了'

We keep a calendar where we say, oh, I meditated today.

我就要勾掉这一项

I'm gonna check off that thing.

那杯子的事呢？

And what about the cups?

关于杯子那个例子，我很喜欢，你能详细说说吗？

So how does the cups like, you picking up because I love that example.

对

Yeah.

我能想象那个场景，因为我们家孩子刚来玩过

I can visualize it because I have people that our kids just visited.

东西到处都是

There's stuff everywhere.

你知道奖励是什么吗？

You know what you know what the reward is?

不。

No.

有两个。

There's two of them.

首先，当我收集完所有杯子后，我会把它们放进水槽。

First of all, when once I'm done collecting all the cups, I put them in the sink.

我在房子里走一圈，环顾四周，让自己享受干净整洁的环境。

I walk through the house, and I just look and go, I let myself enjoy a clean house.

我认为这非常重要，因为从这件事中我领悟到——我们马上会讲到第三个关键习惯——如果你真的接受这点，那就是提示信号告诉我们该做这件事了。

I think this is super important because what I'm gathering from this, and we'll get to the third keystone habit in just a second, is that if you really do just embrace, it's the cue which signals that we're about to do this thing.

对。

Right.

对我来说，我确实每天早上都整理床铺，其中一个提示信号就是那些装饰靠枕。

And for me, I do make my bed every morning, and one of the cues is that I've got all these throw pillows.

我对枕头特别执着。

I'm psycho about pillows.

当我起床时，触发我的不是没整理的床铺

When I get up, it's not the unmade bed.

而是枕头掉在地上的事实

It's the fact that the pillows are on the floor

我太喜欢这个了

I love it.

这确实会触发我立刻转身去整理

That actually trigger me to turn around and do it immediately.

然后我还会做一件事，就是像空手道那样劈一下枕头，让它看起来有种室内设计的感觉。

And then I also do this thing where I, like, karate chop the pillow to give it that nice, like, interior design, like, looking thing.

这样做有种说不出的满足感。

There's something so satisfying about that.

但我意识到，一旦做完我就会匆匆离开，很少花时间去品味刚刚完成的事情。

But what I realize is that I rush past it once it's done, and I don't often take that moment to savor what I just did.

现在在这个练习的例子中，我肯定会想——哦，这杯拿铁太好喝了。

Now I in the exercise example, I definitely oh, this latte tastes so good.