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嘿。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
今天你和我在一起，我特别兴奋，因为我要介绍一个人，他对我的人生影响深远。
I am so excited that you're here with me today because I'm gonna introduce you to somebody who has had a profound impact on my life.
十二年前，我开始以46岁女性的身份在社交媒体上发帖，就是因为一个人。
Twelve years ago, I started posting on social media as a 46 year old woman because of one human being.
他叫加里·维纳查克。
His name, Gary Vaynerchuk.
如果没有他，我不会成为今天的我。
I would not be the person I am today.
我不会写出《五秒法则》《击掌习惯》和《让他们理论》这些书。
I would not have written the five second rule, the high five habit, the Let Them Theory.
我也不会开始这个播客。
I wouldn't have started this podcast.
而且如果不是因为加里·维纳查克，我可能也还不清那80万美元的债务。
And I probably wouldn't have gotten out of $800,000 worth of debt if it were not for Gary Vaynerchuk.
现在，如果你通常来找我是为了让自己感觉更好，为了提醒自己，是的，你有能力做出非凡的事情。
Now, if you usually turn to me in order to feel better and to be reminded that, yes, you are capable of extraordinary things.
你有能力改变自己的生活。
You are capable of changing your life.
那么，如果你是为了这个来找我，我迫不及待想让你认识加里·维纳查克，因为他就是我在需要这种鼓励时会去找的人。
Well, if you're turning to me for that, I cannot wait for you to meet Gary Vaynerchuk because he's the person I turn to for that kind of encouragement.
关于如何展现自己、重塑自我、预见未来、不在乎别人怎么想、去做你一直想做的事，他是我研究最多的人。
He's the person I've studied the most about putting yourself out there, reinvention, seeing around corners, forgetting about what everybody else thinks, doing the thing you've always wanted to do.
所以我现在就告诉你，如果你对改变生活不感兴趣，如果你对获得动力不感兴趣，如果你对追求生活中想要的东西不感兴趣，那你最好现在就别听了，因为这将是一场你会保存、我也会保存、你会一遍又一遍反复听的对话。
So I'm going to tell you right now, if you are not interested in changing your life, if you are not interested in being motivated, if you are not interested in going for the things that you want in your life, you better stop listening right now because this is going to be a conversation that you will save, that I will save, that you will listen to over and over and over and over again.
从今天以后，你不再等待合适的时机、正确的答案、合适的感觉、合适的人，你终于会去做你需要做的事。
After today, you will stop waiting for the right time, the right answer, the right feeling, the right person, and you will finally do the thing you need to do.
开个Etsy店铺。
Open the Etsy shop.
卖掉你的艺术品。
Sell your art.
换个职业。
Change careers.
创业。
Start the business.
开始你的生活。
Start your life.
嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
如果你是新听众，我想欢迎你加入梅尔·罗宾斯播客大家庭。
And if you're a new listener, I just wanna welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
如果有人把这个分享给你，我希望你听完之后，打电话给他们说声谢谢。
If somebody shared this with you, I want you, after you're done listening, to call them and say thank you.
谢谢你和我分享那一集，因为加里·维纳查克，也就是大家熟知的加里·维，在这里要告诉你，别再找借口了。
Thank you for sharing that episode with me because Gary Vaynerchuk, also known as Gary Vee, is here to tell you, stop making excuses.
他现在就要教你如何立刻改变你的人生。
He's gonna teach you how to change your life right now.
有些话你可能不爱听。
Some of the things you're not gonna like to hear.
因为Gary总是直击真相，他有点像那种先给你一拳再给你一个拥抱的人。
Because Gary goes right for the truth, he's kinda like a punch and a hug guy.
而且他远距离当我的导师已经十二年了。
And he has been my mentor from afar for twelve years.
这是我第一次坐下来主持Mel Robbins播客。
This is the first time that I am sitting down with hosting the Mel Robbins podcast.
如果不是Gary Vaynerchuk，我不会成为你今天认识的我。
I would not be the person that you know me to be today if it were not for Gary Vaynerchuk.
还有Gary Vee，天哪。
And Gary Vee, oh my gosh.
他是这一代最成功的企业家和创作者之一。
He's one of the most successful entrepreneurs and creators of this generation.
他被认为是全球在文化、商业和互联网未来趋势方面的顶尖思想家之一，是《纽约时报》六次畅销书作者，有4500万人关注他的作品。
He is considered one of the leading global minds on what's next in culture, business, and the Internet, six time New York Times bestselling author, 45,000,000 people follow his work.
他是VaynerX的董事长，VeeFriends的首席执行官，也是VaynerMedia的首席执行官，VaynerMedia是全球最大的广告公司之一。
He is the chairman of VaynerX, the CEO of VeeFriends, and the CEO of VaynerMedia, one of the largest global advertising agencies in the world.
今天，加里飞到波士顿，只为一个原因。
Today, Gary has flown to Boston for one reason.
他是为你而来的。
He's here for you.
他希望你不要再找借口。
He wants you to stop making excuses.
他希望你能掌控自己的生活。
He wants you to take control of your life.
他知道你的生活里还有更多可以付出、可以去做、可以去体验的东西。
He knows you have so much more that you can give and do and experience in your life.
而今天，他会点燃你内心的某些东西，并告诉你该怎么做。
And today, he's gonna ignite something in you and show you how.
请大家欢迎独一无二的加里·维纳查克来到梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Please help me welcome the one, the only, Gary Vaynerchuk to the Mel Robbins podcast.
梅尔，我很高兴能来到这里。
I'm so happy to be here, Mel.
谢谢你。
Thank you.
十二年来，你一直是我的灵感来源。
You have been an inspiration to me for twelve years.
没有你，我不会走到今天这一步。
I would not be where I am today without you.
所以我想从这里开始，因为我很激动，现在和我们在一起的这个人，将能吸收你的智慧、你的能量、你生活中的教训，以及你对待生活的方式。
And so where I wanna start, because I'm so thrilled that the person that's with us right now is gonna get to be infused with your wisdom, your energy, the lessons from your life, the way you think about life.
如果听众把今天我们即将讨论的一切都放在心上，他们的生活会发生怎样的改变？
How might the person who's listening's life change if they take to heart everything that we're about to talk about today?
他们会变得轻松很多。
They'll become dramatically lighter.
我们特别擅长小题大做，总是纠结于一些无关紧要的破事，直到真正的大事发生，我们才会重新调整心态。
We are incredibly capable of making mountains out of molehills, and we focus on dumb shit until real shit happens, and then we recalibrate.
我更希望现在正在听的人能在坏事发生之前就享受生活、理解生活。我非常关注这一点，这也是我的内容和生活的一大主题。
I'd prefer the person that's listening right now enjoy life or understand life before something bad happens in it, And I'm very focused on that, and that's a lot of what my content and my life is about.
好的，我们接下来会聊到你是怎么做到这一点的。
Well, we're gonna get into how you actually do that.
但在那之前，我想让正在听的人了解一下你的生活是如何塑造你的。
But before we get into that, I want the person listening to understand a little bit about how your life has shaped you.
你知道吗，有意思的是，在你来之前我就说过，我听你说了十年‘我要买下喷气机队’。
You know, what's interesting is I said before you're coming into the team, I said, I've heard you for a decade say, I'm gonna buy the Jets.
我要买下喷气机队。
I'm gonna buy the Jets.
然后我对我那将近50人的团队说：‘你们觉得他会做到吗？’
And I said to my team of almost 50 people, how many people here think he's gonna do it?
所有人都举了手。
Every hand went up.
有趣的是，我不知道你到底会不会买，但真正有力量的是，你相信自己可能做到，这种信念别人是能感受到的。
And what's interesting is that I don't know if you will or won't, but what is powerful is that your belief that you might is something that other people can catch.
更让我觉得有意思的是，从个人角度来说，追逐的过程带来的快乐，远比真正得到它要美妙得多。
What's even more interesting on a personal level is the joy of chasing it is dramatically more delicious than achieving it.
能多说说这个吗？
Say more about that.
你知道，大概在我二十出头的时候，我记得我突然意识到，哎呀。
You know, somewhere around my early twenties, I think I realized, oh, shoot.
我喜欢追逐的过程，胜过真正得到它。
I like the chase more than the getting it.
我喜欢练习的过程，胜过拿到奖杯。
I like the practice more than the trophy.
我不是为了外界的认可而活。
I don't live for outside validation.
我当时没用这个词，但我很早就意识到，哦，我跟别人不一样。
I didn't use that term but I I realized very early in my life, oh, I'm different.
到我25岁的时候，我已经经历了一个不会说英语的移民，被人误解。
By the time I was 25, I had gone through being an immigrant that couldn't speak English, misunderstood.
作为一个糟糕透顶的学生，被朋友的父母和老师误解。
Being a ridiculously bad student, being misunderstood by parents of your friends and teachers.
在我爸爸的酒类商店里创新，人们告诉我爸爸，如果我这么做会毁了他的生意。
Innovating in my dad's liquor store, things that people told my dad would ruin his business if he let me do it.
到我25岁的时候，全世界都告诉我，我错错错错错，而一切都是对对对对对，这让我过去二十五年过得很轻松，因为我很早就想明白了，我这么说不是狂妄，而是感恩。
By the time I was 25, I was told by the world that I was wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong and everything was right right right right right, and that made it very easy to live the last twenty five years because I had it figured out early, and I say that from a place of gratitude not audacity.
我讨厌“运气”这个词，因为我相信世界喜欢把它当作借口，来解释为什么他们不去做自己的事，但我并没有忘记，是机缘巧合让我离开了苏联，来到了美国，给了我那样的母亲，给了我竞争精神，也给了我心中纯粹的爱。
Like, I hate the word luck because I believe the world likes to weaponize it as an excuse to why they're not doing their thing, but it is not lost on me the serendipity that got me out of the Soviet Union, got me to The US, gave me the mother that I had, gave me competitive spirit, but also just pure love in my heart, know.
我现在50岁了，我见过很多小孩子，侄子、侄女、朋友的孩子，有些孩子天生就带着一些东西，如果他们幸运地让这些材料在合适的餐厅里被恰当地烹饪，那就会变得非常厉害。
I'm 50 now, I've watched many young children, nephews, children, nieces, friends, children, like some kids are just born with some shit and then if they're fortunate enough that those ingredients are cooked properly in the proper restaurant, well then shit gets crazy.
但让我着迷的是这个。
But here's what I'm intoxicated by.
告诉我。
Tell me.
如果现在正在看这个视频的人，并没有拥有最好的条件，比如基因。
That if the person watching right now did not have all the best ingredients, DNA.
对。
Yep.
没有最好的父母，像顶级大厨和副厨那样的，也没有在最好的环境里长大，比如好的社区和成长环境。我之所以热衷于这个，之所以出现在公众面前，是因为我相信，人们改变自己的能力远比他们自己意识到的要强得多，而且这其实简单得惊人，同时也是世界上最难的事情。
Did not have the greatest chef and sous chef parents, were not served in the best restaurant, the neighborhoods and environments they grew up in, What I'm intoxicated by, why I exist in public is my belief is that people are obnoxiously more capable of changing than they realize and it's actually shockingly simple and the hardest thing in the world.
简单得惊人，同时也是世界上最难的事情。
Shockingly simple and the hardest thing in the world.
你刚才说的那么多内容，我想确保你在听的时候真的听进去了。
There were so many things that you just said that I wanna make sure as you're listening you really heard it.
因为当你开始用那种节奏说“被误解、被误解、被误解、被误解”的时候，大多数感到被误解的人会开始退缩。没错。
Because when you started to do the cadence of misunderstood, misunderstood, misunderstood, misunderstood, the majority of people who feel misunderstood start to withdraw Correct.
然后开始觉得是不是自己有问题。
And start to say something's wrong.
是的。
Yes.
所以对于现在正在听的人来说，如果觉得自己在学校表现不好，刚被工作辞退，和家人很不一样，找不到愿意约会的人，或者觉得自己被误解、被误解，感觉就像拖着沉重的铅块一样。
So for the person who's listening right now that feels like I suck at school, I just got fired from a job, I'm so different from my family, I can't find somebody to date that's interested in me or that like, I misunderstood, misunderstood, and it is like dragging around a lead weight.
你怎么把那种世界不理解你的感觉，转化成推动你前进的力量呢？
How do you flip that sense that the world doesn't get you into something that propels you?
就是不要指望世界理解你。
By not wanting the world to get you.
再多说一点。
Say more.
你知道吗，我就是不明白，为什么你需要你的配偶完全理解你，为什么你需要你的母亲完全理解你，为什么你需要你那该死的同事完全理解你。
You know, I'm just confused why you need your spouse to fully understand you, why you need your mother to fully understand you, why you need your fucking coworker to fully understand you.
梅尔，你问题的答案就是，要习惯被误解。
The answer to your question, Mel, is being comfortable with being misunderstood.
要意识到，别人对你的主观看法，因为他们不是你，所以永远无法完全了解你，即使是离你最近的人也一样。
By realizing someone's subjective opinion of you who is not you can never fully know you, not even the people that are closest to you.
那么，一个在Instagram帖子评论里的陌生人，怎么可能有机会知道你到底是谁呢？
So how could a stranger in the comments of an Instagram post have a prayer of knowing who the fuck you are?
顺便说一句，梅尔，黑手党，我就是这么叫你们的。
By the way, Mel, mafia, that's what I call you guys.
我为刚才的脏话道歉。
I apologize for the cursing.
我有点新泽西男孩的作风。
I'm a little bit of a Jersey boy.
我会尽量收敛一点，因为我知道有时候这会让人听不进去我的话。
I'll try to rein it in because I know occasionally it allows someone not to hear me.
我很感谢你这么说，因为有很多人听《The Car With Littles》这个节目。
I appreciate you saying that because there are a lot of people that listen to The Car With Littles.
不过，不过，你也要承认，那就是你本来的样子。
However however, it is important that you also acknowledge that that is just who you are.
说真的，我对那些一直不看我内容或不关注我的人非常理解，因为如果他们真心觉得说脏话很糟糕、显得没文化，或者他们怎么想都行。
Comma, I'm incredibly empathetic to the people that have historically not consumed my content or not followed me because if they in their life genuinely believe that cursing is atrocious and a sign of lack of intelligence or whatever they may think it
对，没错。
is Right.
我有谦逊、同理心和同情心去理解这一点。
I have the humility and the empathy and compassion to understand that.
有意思，我居然说出来了，平时我一般不会这样。
It's funny that I called it out, tend not to.
嗯。
Mhmm.
我觉得这源于我对你和你正在建设的事业的深深敬意，而且我知道自己与众不同，你这里有非常棒的人，我也知道你就是那个注定要为某些人带来突破的人。
I think it comes out of just deep respect I have for you and what you're building and kind of like, I know I'm different and you have incredible people on here and I know just like you are the exact human that was built to break through for someone.
我知道我现在就是那个能为很多人带来突破的人，但我担心那七八九个人会因为我说脏话而止步不前，然而我正是那个即将说出能从根本上改变他们观念的一两句话的人，而生活唯一的意义就在于你怎么看待它。
I know that I'm the exact human to break through for a lot of people right now and I worry about the seven or nine that won't go much further because of the cursing, yet I'm the human on earth that is about to say the sentence or two that fundamentally changes their perspective, and the only thing life is is how you see it.
没有所谓的生活。
There is no life.
没有所谓的真实世界。
There is no real world.
只有你的感知。
There's just your perception.
重要的是你能带来什么。
There's just what you bring to the table.
你要么因为极度缺乏安全感而愤世嫉俗，要么因为极其纯粹的自信而极度乐观。
You are either cynical because you are deeply insecure or you are deeply optimistic because you're incredibly purely confident.
你有你的人生经历，你有你被告知的事情。
You have your life experiences, you have the things you were told.
梅尔，现在大多数正在听的人都很害怕。
Most people that are listening right now, Mel, are scared.
这是我们需要谈谈的事情。
This is something we need to talk about.
所以当有人听你说现在最大的问题是人们害怕，有太多的恐惧，生活中有很多理由让人害怕。
So when somebody who is listening to you say that the biggest problem right now is that people are scared, there is so much fear, and there are plenty of reasons in life to be afraid.
但让恐惧主导你接下来的行动，才是人们可以学会的技能，从“我无能为力”的愤世嫉俗，转变为“总有我能做的事”。
But allowing it to dominate what you do next is really the skill that somebody can learn to flip from cynicism, there's nothing I can do, to there's always something I can do.
好吧，乐观的理由是无限的。
Well, there's unlimited reasons to be optimistic.
那么，对那些现在很愤世嫉俗、但又想变得更乐观、更有勇气的人，你想说些什么？
So talk to the person who's cynical right now and who wants to be more optimistic, who wants to have courage.
别再听政客们的话了。
Stop listening to politicians.
谢谢大家邀请我。
Thanks for having me, everyone.
就是这样，梅尔。
Like, that's it, Mel.
真的，没有别的了。
Like, there is nothing else.
你明白你每天接触的是什么吗？
Like, do you understand who you consume?
你接触什么，你就会变成什么样的人。
What you consume is who you become?
我之所以大老远跑来这里，其中一个原因就是我想向你致敬，因为你是一个从根本上让很多人过得更好的人。
One of the reasons I schlepped here is because I wanna honor you being a human being who I know has fundamentally made it better for people.
我真的不明白为什么大家还在困惑。
Like, I do not understand how people continue to be confused.
要建城里最大的楼，只有两条路。
There are two ways to build the biggest building in town.
一条是你自己足够有才华，能建起最大的楼，而且你欣赏别人的楼，哪怕是比你更大的。
One is to just be talented enough to build the biggest building in town, and you admire everyone else's buildings, even the ones that are even bigger than yours
对。
Yeah.
逗号，
Comma,
大多数人选的那条路，就是建一座破破烂烂的小楼，然后花百分之百的时间去拆别人的楼。
the choice that most people take, which is they build a crappy little building and they spend 100% of their time trying to tear down everybody else's building.
这说起来难，其实特别简单。
This is shockingly hard and wildly easy.
算法。
Algorithms.
准备好了吗？
Ready?
是的。
Yes.
加里，你不明白。
Gary, you don't get it.
你总是谈论社交媒体。
You always talk about social media.
我对你很生气。
I'm so mad at you.
这是我的算法。
It's my algorithm.
大家看好了。
Watch this everyone.
你现在想在家做个任务吗？
You want a task at home right now?
打开你的Instagram或TikTok，当你看到一条内容，不管是政治、乱七八糟的、负面的、还是什么男性美容之类的，随便什么，你就点右上角（Instagram）或右下角（TikTok）的按钮，然后选择“不感兴趣”。
Open your Instagram or TikTok and when you get a piece of content politics, schmolitics, negativity, manscaping, whatever you know, whatever you got, literally click the buttons on the top right corner on Instagram or the bottom right corner on TikTok and say not interested.
然后坚持这样做一天，接着去搜索栏输入“joy”，点进去，然后点赞或关注五六个出现的内容，再回到搜索栏输入“happy”，找一些内容，点赞并关注一些账号，这非常重要。
And keep doing that for one day and then go to search and type in joy enter and then like five or six things that pop up and then go back to search and type in happy and get some content and like and follow a couple things and this is very important.
然后去搜索栏输入Gary Vee，关注那个账号，就这样一直做下去。
Then go to search and put in Gary Vee and follow that account and on and on.
朋友们，算法并没有改变你，算法只是暴露了你。
My friends, the algorithm did not change you, the algorithm exposed you.
哦，说得太对了。
Oh, it's so true.
哦，我知道，
Oh, I know,
Mel。
Mel.
所以对于正在听的人来说，因为我觉得你说得对，大多数人都在脑子里花大量时间要么自我否定，要么找各种理由说自己不行。
So for somebody who's listening, because I do think that you're right, and most people are in their heads spending all kinds of time either tearing themselves down and coming up with reasons why they can't.
对。
Correct.
或者看看别人，拿他们当借口，觉得自己不行。
Or looking around at other people and using it as evidence to see why they can't.
没错。
That's right.
或者花很多时间贬低别人，而不是花同样的时间来提升自己。
Or spending a lot of time tearing other people down instead of like spending the same amount of time lifting themselves up.
是的。
Yep.
如果听的人开始有那种醒悟的时刻，你会想，你知道吗，我有点厌倦现在的自己了。
How, if somebody who's listening starts to have a moment of reckoning where you're like, you know, I'm kind of sick of this version of myself.
我有点厌倦那种被困住的感觉。
I'm kind of sick of feeling like I'm stuck.
我厌倦了嫉妒所有人，我活在很多恐惧里。
I'm sick of being jealous of everyone I am living in a lot of fear.
对。
Yeah.
没人会替我做这件事，但也没人拦着我去做我能做到的事。
Nobody's gonna do this for me, but nobody's stopping me from doing what I'm capable of doing.
挡我路的只有我自己。
I'm the one in my own way.
而且我在大规模地找借口。
And I'm using excuses at scale.
我还一直拿我八岁时我妈搞砸了的事说事。
And I continuously go back to my mom fucked up when I was eight.
废话，莎莉。
No shit, Sally.
然后呢？
And?
你现在都长大了，都34岁了。
Like you're grown now, you're 34.
答案就是行动。
And the answer is action.
心理治疗。
Therapy.
心理治疗是个好选择。
Therapy is a good one.
与其买那些没用的东西来掩盖你的痛苦，不如把钱花在心理治疗上。
Instead of buying dumb shit to cover up your hurt, why don't you go invest it into therapy?
你知道有多少人开着宝马车，其实更需要用那笔钱去接受心理治疗吗？
Do you know how many people have BMWs that actually needed to go buy therapy sessions with that money?
请不要用物质的东西来向世界展示你过得很好，其实我们都知道你并不好。
Please do not use materialistic things to show the world you're good when we all know you're not.
对吧，梅尔？
Right Mel?
对。
Yeah.
你知道为什么消费市场这么大吗？
Do you know why there's such a big consumer world?
就是人们老爱买东西？
Like people buy stuff?
那是因为我们拿这些东西当挡箭牌，躲在物质的外表后面，不让你看到真实的情况。
It's because we use it as proxies to disguise behind the makeup of our materialistic things to not allow you to see what's actually happening.
现在大家拼命攀比，不是因为社交媒体，也不是因为看到别人有什么，而是因为过去三四十年，现代教育把责任感给漏掉了。
We have a pandemic of keeping up with the Joneses not because of social media and we see other people with stuff, but because modern parenting left accountability out of the ingredients of the last thirty, forty years.
我们来聊聊这个。
Let's talk about that.
你有两个孩子。
You have two kids.
对。
Yes.
而且你虽然这么公开，但我真的很佩服你对个人生活保持低调这一点。
And you're also for as public as you are, I really respect the fact that you're very private about your personal life.
非常注重隐私。
Outrageously.
非常注重隐私。
Outrageously.
我希望你能从责任的角度来谈谈这个话题，因为现在很多人都在责怪父母，责怪环境。
And I would love to have you talk about this in the lane of accountability because there is a lot of blaming your parents, blaming the circumstances.
确实有一些非常不公平的现实情况。
And there are very real circumstances that are very unfair.
没错。
Correct.
人们会遇到很糟糕的事情。
There's horrible things that happen to people.
每天都有。
Every day.
我不相信所有事情的发生都有原因。
I do not believe everything happens for a reason.
我相信坏事就是会发生。
I believe shit happens.
很多确实不公平，但你必须找到继续前进和成长的理由。
A lot of it's unfair, but you have to find a reason to move on and to grow.
因为其他经历过同样处境的人已经找到了出路，所以问题就变成了，这不是不可能的。
Because other people who've also been in that situation have found a way and so the question becomes it is not impossible.
对。
Yes.
这很重要。
Like that's important.
就像你说的，确实有很多可怕的事情。
Like to your point, there are a lot of atrocious things.
想想看，现在有8亿人，大约占全球人口的10%，在我们坐在这间屋子里的时候，连一杯干净的水都喝不上。
What about the fact that 800,000,000 people, roughly 10% of the world right now cannot get a glass of clean water as we sit here in this room?
外面的世界，人们的视角真是混乱。
Like perspective is confused out there.
有些人真的有酗酒的父母，被父母抛弃，住在寄养家庭，还有其他可怕的事情。
There are people that are have real alcoholic parents abandoned by parents, foster home, other scary stuff.
问题就是这样，事实就是如此。
The problem is it's like it is.
我是说，我妈妈是世界上最乐观、最快乐、最温暖的人。
I mean, my mother is the most optimistic, joyful, warm human on earth.
简单来说，我妈妈的故事是这样的。
Here's my mother's story in a nutshell.
她五岁就失去了母亲。
She lost her mother at five.
她五岁时，她妈妈去世了。
Her mother died when she was five years old.
她九岁或十岁时，她爸爸因为苏联那个地方真的很糟糕，被判了十年监禁。
Her father went to jail for ten years when she was nine ten because the Soviet Union is a really fucked up place.
我因为这些事情被请上梅尔的播客，而我外公却因为这些事进了监狱。
For the things that I get put on Mel's podcast for, my grandfather went to jail for.
这真是实打实的惨，对吧？
Like real shit, right?
我是说，这手牌也太烂了。
I mean that's a tough fucking hand.
你懂吧？
You know?
但她却有着惊人的选择乐观的能力，比我们整个大家族里那些所谓过得更好的人都要快乐和乐观。
And yet incredible capacity to choose optimism and is more joyful and optimistic than anyone in our extended families who all quote unquote had it better.
顺便说一句，虽然我妈的经历已经够惨了，但现在听着的成千上万人里，还有比她更惨的。
And by the way, as atrocious as that was for my mom, there are thousands listening now that had it even worse.
我明白。
I get that.
对。
Yep.
问题就变成了，什么时候开始这不再是父母的错了呢？
The question becomes when is it not your parents fault anymore?
咱们先从那个问题开始吧。
Let's start with that one.
梅尔，我其实是在问你。
Mel, I'm actually asking you.
咱们换个角度。
Let's flip it.
这里是Gary Vee音频体验。
This is the Gary Vee audio experience.
开始吧。
Here we go.
大概从几岁开始，你只是一个女人，你只有一个主观的看法。
At what age, roughly, you're just one woman, you just have one subjective opinion.
这个问题没有标准答案，但姐妹，就像我们在后院散步一样跟我聊聊。
There's no right or wrong answer to this, But sister talk to me like we're just walking in the backyard.
好的。
Okay.
我们正在散步呢。
We're we're on a walk.
就是随便聊聊。
Just for fun.
总的来说，是的。
I In general Yeah.
虽然每个人的生活情况都不一样，但随便说说，梅尔，你觉得到什么年龄，再继续怪父母就不再好玩或者没意思了？
Is just the world obviously incredibly circumstantial everyone's life but for fun, at what age Mel do you believe that it is no longer fun or interesting to just keep blaming your parents?
到什么年龄，你才能自己站稳脚跟，选择自己和谁在一起，真正相信什么，怎么限制自己和那些整天传播负能量的父母或其他人的接触？到什么年龄，你才算真正长大了？
At what age are you able to stand on your own two feet and choose who you surround yourself with, what you actually believe, how you limit your interactions with those parents or any other person that pushes negative propaganda twenty four seven, at what age are you a big girl now?
嗯，我觉得这不是年龄的问题。
Well, I wouldn't say it's an age.
我觉得是当你决定自己承担生活的那一刻。
I say it's the moment you decide to pay for your life.
说得对。
That's right.
有一个观点对我帮助很大，就是明白人们只能给你他们能给的。
There is a point of view that has been very helpful to me, which is understanding that people can only give you what they have to give.
而且人们给你的养育方式，很大程度上取决于他们自己是怎么被对待的。
And people can only provide you with the parenting experience largely based on what was done to them.
对。
That's right.
确实有些真正的坏人，但也有很多人做了坏事却不知道自己在做什么。
And a lot of the there's some real evil people out there, but there's also a lot of people that do bad things that don't know what they're doing.
我们得
And we've got
区分一下什么是小麻烦、小遗憾，什么是灾难性的。我的意思是，现在人们觉得父母毁了我，四十年前这就像擦破膝盖一样的小事。
to get into a place of what's an inconvenience or a darn it versus a catastrophic I mean, what people now deem as my parent fucked me up only forty years ago was like a skinned knee.
我是说，有些人因为一些难以想象的事情责怪父母。
I mean, there are people who blame their parents for things that were inconceivable.
比如，就错过了一场足球赛。
I mean, like, missing one football game.
哎呀，你错过了那场我投了三次达阵的大比赛。
Well, you missed the big game where I threw three touchdowns.
嗯，事情是这样的。
Well, here here's the thing.
就像，你的父母做了他们该做的事。
Like, your parents did the job that they did.
在某个时刻，你必须接受这个事实，然后决定接下来要怎么做。
And at some point, you have to take that as a fact and decide what are you gonna do next.
就是这样。
That's it.
百分之百。
Percent.
你是要带着评判回头看，还是带着理解和一点同情心回头看，然后像个成年人一样，要么原谅并好好谈一谈，要么就设立一些界限。
And are you gonna look back with judgment, or are you gonna look back with understanding and a bit of compassion and then be an adult and either forgive and have a conversation about it or have some boundaries around
是吗？
it?
你知道我在我的新会议VeeCon三上的开场白是什么吗？
Do you know what my opening line was to VeeCon three, my new conference?
我直接走上台，面对一万人，开场白就是：去你的祖父母。
Literally walked on stage, 10,000 people, opening line, f your grandparents.
你说“去你的祖父母”是什么意思？
What do you mean f your grandparents?
那就是我的开场白。
That was my opening line.
为什么？
Why?
因为我受够了人们总是生父母的气，却不好好看看祖父母对父母做了什么。
Because I am so tired of people being so mad at their mom and dad without taking a good look at what their grandparents did to mom and dad.
我们喜欢小奶奶，因为她给你饼干，给你五块钱，但与此同时，奶奶把妈妈搞得一团糟，以至于你一辈子都在怪妈妈。
We love little granny because she gives you cookies and give you $5, but meanwhile, Grammy screwed up your mom so good that you've spent your whole life blaming your mom.
你什么时候才能明白，这也不是他们的错呢？
Like at what point are you able to understand it's not their fault either?
现在，梅尔，我们换个话题。
And now Mel, let's transition.
好，来吧。
Let's do it.
更大的问题是。
The bigger question.
好的。
Okay.
你向身边所有人反复提起这件事，到底是想干什么？
What are you doing by verbalizing to everyone in your world that this happened?
你这是在让它一直延续下去。
You're keeping it alive.
对。
Yeah.
你到底想要什么？
What are you asking for?
你是在求同情。
You're asking for pity.
你是在求怜悯。
You're asking for compassion.
你是在求别人纵容你。
You're asking for enablement.
你在给自己搭一个理所当然的框架。
You're creating a framework of entitlement.
你拿这件事当武器，来证明自己为什么做不到。
You're using it as a weapon to justify why not.
而不是全力以赴，承认自己现在就是动力不足，然后必须想办法去解决。
Instead of going all in on, I'm just not motivated enough right now and I've gotta do this or that.
一旦你完全对自己负责，既全心全意爱自己，又有谦卑心，明白自己也是普通人，可能很多事就是做不好。
Like once you go fully accountable, when you love yourself all the way but you also have the humility to understand you're a human being and you just might suck at a lot of things.
那真的完全没关系。
And that's super duper okay.
一旦你到了那个境界，一切都会变得轻松很多。
Once you go there, it gets real light.
我觉得你刚才说的，如果让我复述一下，就是你认为很多人被卡住的原因，是他们花了太多时间和精力去回望过去、责怪别人，而不是站在当下，承认这件事发生了。
I think what you're you're saying, if I give it back to you, is that what you see in what's holding a lot of people back is so much time and energy spent looking backwards and blaming versus standing in the present moment going, this happened.
它对我产生了这样的影响。
It had this impact on me.
然后我接下来该怎么办？
And and what am I going to do next?
我要为未来承担什么责任？
What am I gonna take responsibility for moving forward?
既然我已经承认了发生的事情，我明白了，但我现在是成年人了，是时候想清楚我到底想要什么样的生活了。
Now that I've acknowledged what's happened, I get it, but I am an adult now, and it is time for me to figure out what do I want with my life.
这就是为什么我这么在意年龄，你知道，人们常拿这个取笑我。
And that's why I get so you know, people make fun of me about how I think about age.
对。
Yeah.
你看，网上的人可能老拿我开玩笑，说，Gary，我都90岁了。
As you see people probably razz me on the Internet like, Gary, I'm 90.
我就说，你还有时间。
And I'm like, you have time.
他们喜欢这种段子。
They like these skits.
让我兴奋的是，我真的相信，25到45岁之间的人，在这个年龄段，可能会达到一个点，就是他们受够了互相指责。
Like, what excites me about that is I do believe people somewhere between 25 and 45 in that kind of window can get to this place where they're exhausted of pointing fingers.
对吧？
Right?
我大概到47岁才明白。
It took me to about 47.
其实，准确说是41岁那年，我突然醒悟，没有人会来帮我收拾这个烂摊子。
So, well, actually it was 41 when I woke up and realized nobody is coming to save my ass from this mess that I'm in.
不是老公，也不是父母。
Not my husband, not my parents.
这不是别人的责任。
It is nobody else's responsibility.
我们陷在一个巨大的坑里。
We're in a gigantic hole.
既然我没看到别人带着梯子来，那我最好别再抱怨、别再自怜自艾，赶紧干活吧。
And since I don't see anybody else coming with a ladder, I better stop bitching and feeling sorry for myself and get to work.
当你从“我们”开始，我猜你把丈夫也包括进去了，对吧？
And when you go from even we, and I assume you're bringing your husband into that, right?
是的。
Yes.
然后你变成了“我”。
And you go into I.
“我”。
I.
我必须做
I have to do
比如说，“我们”挺好的，因为那只是两个人。
Like, we is good because that's only two.
那比……但当你变成“我、我”的时候。
That's better than but when you go to I I.
这不是“我们”。
It's not a we.
这是“我”。
It's a me.
但我需要所有，你知道，现在在镜头前听我说话的所有人。
But I need all, you know, all the people I'm talking to right now on the camera.
我就想，即使你的配偶是那个说“咱们做这个投资”的人，你难道要永远怪他或她吗？
I'm like, even if your spouse is the one who's like, let's make this invest like, what are you gonna blame him or her forever?
我觉得这在很多关系里都是个问题。
Well I think that's a problem in a lot of relationships.
可不是嘛。
No shit.
你觉得我为什么提这个？
Why do you think I'm bringing it up?
我再说一遍。
I'm gonna say it again.
如果你丈夫让你买了南卡罗来纳那第三套房，结果亏了，或者你妻子让你投资某只股票，结果赔了，你难道要一辈子拿这事儿数落她吗？
If your husband made you buy that third home in South Carolina and it was a flop or if your wife made you invest in a stock that what are you gonna just razz her in perpetuity?
你打算一辈子都跟约翰尼念叨这事儿吗？
What are you gonna tell Johnny for the rest of your life?
“要是你没让我们买迈阿密那破房子，我们的生活本来会更好”？
Our life would be better if you didn't make us buy that fucking house in Miami?
这不现实。
It's not real.
梅尔，这不现实。
Mel, it's not real.
那你怎么办？
So what do you do?
因为你基本上是在说，你根本不知道自己花了多少时间和精力去责怪别人，而不是面对自己现在的生活状态。
Because what you're basically saying is you have no idea how much time and energy you spend blaming other people for the state you're in in your life.
不管是那些拥有你想要的东西的人，还是那些比你更有优势、起点更好的人，或者是你的父母，因为他们没做某些事或做了某些事，又或者是你的配偶，因为他们没有以某种方式表现，而你却错过了你生活中最重要的、能改变一切的因素，那就是你自己。
Whether it's people who have what you want or people that had a lot more privilege and had a better start than you did, or it's your parents for the things that they didn't do or that they did do, or it's your spouse because they're not showing up a certain way, and you're missing the single most important factor in your life that changes everything, which is you.
而不是像
Instead of like
像嫉妒和羡慕让我快疯了。
like envy and jealousy is driving me crazy.
你为什么偏偏选择去看地球上那三个二十多岁就成了万亿富翁，或者花了一百万美元做整容手术变得惊艳的人呢？
Why have you chosen friends to look at the three people on earth that are in their 20s that are trillionaires or who've spent a million dollars on plastic surgery to look incredible.
你为什么非要拿自己跟他们比？
Why are you choosing to shape yourself up to them?
你不知道世界上还有83亿其他人可以拿来比较吗？
Don't you know there's 8,300,000,000 other people that you could shape yourself up to?
我要慢慢地说一句好话。
And I'm gonna say something nice and slow.
如果你能听梅尔·罗宾斯的播客，如果你现在有时间，不管是在跑步机上、遛狗还是开车上班，如果你是一个人，而且可能正用着一部几百美元的手机，那说明你已经比世界上大多数人强多了。
If you are capable to be listening to the Mel Robbins podcast, if you are right now capable of having the time whether you're on a treadmill walking the damn dog and driving to work, if you are a human By the way, that is maybe potentially doing it on a phone that cost several $100.
如果你能听到这些话，那你已经比世界上大多数人都过得好多了。
If you are even a human that is hearing these words, you have it much better than most of the entire world.
那你怎么看？
So how about that?
别老想着自己不是提莫西·查拉梅。
How about not I'm not Timothy Chalamet.
想想那83亿人怎么样？
Like how about 8,300,000,000 people?
想想那8亿人连干净的水都喝不上。
How about 800,000,000 people can't get clean water?
想想这世界上所有的真相吧。
How about all the truth of the world?
想想你确实比你奶奶那时候过得好多了。
How about you do have it better than your grandma had it?
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说点实在的怎么样？
How about real shit?
感恩怎么样？
How about gratitude?
别再嫉妒了。
Enough of this envy.
有太多嫉妒和羡慕了，好像别人的生活跟你有什么关系似的，而且你对他们的真实生活又了解多少呢。
There's been so much envy, so much jealousy as if anyone else's life has anything to do with you and comma, you know anything about their actual real life.
说得太对了。
So true.
我们把这些人捧得高高的，可与此同时，那个人今晚可能正喝着一瓶波本威士忌，因为他们承受不了世人评判的压力，因为他们的情感基础不够稳固。
We put all these people on a pedestal and meanwhile that person is drinking a bottle of bourbon tonight because they can't deal with the pressure of the world's judgment because their emotional foundation isn't good enough.
我们什么时候才能转向感恩呢？
When are we gonna lead into gratitude?
你觉得感恩是从责备中转变过来的方式吗？
Do you think gratitude is the way you flip from blame?
是的。
Yes.
因为我觉得很多人可能都在心里想，天哪，好吧，如果你真的算一算，我到底把多少事情归咎于我的童年，而这些事情又在拖我后腿，因为如果你还在回头看，你就一直带着它。
Because I think a lot of people are probably leaning in going, boy, okay, like if you were to just calculate, okay, what are all the things I'm blaming on my childhood that's and it's holding me back because you're dragging it with you if you're still looking backward.
责怪你的配偶，或者责怪你的老板，或者责怪你的女儿，她过着你梦想中的生活，而你觉得自己是在为她付出，却没有人为你付出过。
Blaming your spouse or blaming your boss or blaming your daughter who's living the life you wish you were living, and you feel like you're doing it for her and no one did it for you.
责怪责怪责怪责怪责怪，没完没了。
Blame blame blame blame blame blame blah blah blah blah.
感恩。
Gratitude.
还有一个重要的点。
And here's a big one.
要不要来点谦逊？
How about some humility?
我们能不能重新把谦逊找回来？
Can we get humility back into the game?
为什么人们会觉得谦逊是软弱呢？
Like Why do people think humility is weak?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我觉得人们觉得善良是软弱。
I think people think kindness is weak.
我不明白这一点。
I don't get that.
可不是嘛。
No shit.
我也不明白。
Neither do I.
就像在这一瞬间，把自己从那个框框里拿出来，我现在特别开心，因为我很高兴人们听你的。
Like, in this nanosecond, like, taking myself out of the pocket, I'm so happy right now because I'm happy people listen to you.
我很高兴人们听我的。
I'm happy people listen to me.
我很高兴，你知道大家都在关注外面那些不好的事情。
I'm happy You know people are focusing on all the bad that's out there.
现在有很多渠道可以获取正能量。
There are so many outlets to get good now.
是的。
Yes.
确实很多，这就是重点。
There's so many and this is the point.
首先，要感谢每一位在听的人。
First of all, kudos to everyone who's listening.
你选择了吸收一些积极的东西。
You chose to consume some positivity.
你选择了接受一些责任感。
You chose to consume some accountability.
你可能不知道为什么喜欢梅尔，但我知道。
You may not know why you like Mel, but I do.
他们为什么喜欢我？
Why do they like me?
因为他们正处在改变的边缘。
Because they're on the cusp of change.
他们正处于准备阶段。
They're in the pregame.
我很兴奋。
I'm excited.
真的，我不知道你能不能看到，我为他们感到激动。
Like, literally, I don't know if can see these I'm pumped for them.
他们很接近了。
They're close.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
他们之所以吸引你，是因为他们离你很近。
They're consuming you because they're close.
是的。
Yes.
而且你听他们说话，是因为你感觉到了一些我和Gary都知道是真实的事情，那就是你能做出非常了不起的事。
And they and and you listen because you sense something that Gary and I know is true, that you are capable of bananas extraordinary things.
让我说一句，真正改变你的心态。
And let me say that real shift your mindset.
关于这一点，我想说几句。
Let me say something about that.
对于非凡的事情，不是你的播客有几千万听众，也不是你同时经营33家公司，我最重要的东西并不是你想象的那些。
For extraordinary things, not tens of millions of listeners to your podcast or 33 businesses that you're juggling, the number one thing I have is not all the things you think I have.
我最重要的东西是内心的平静。
The number one thing I have is peace of mind.
你知道我希望每个人都拥有什么吗？
Do you know what I want for everyone?
我不想让他们有蓝勾认证，梅尔。
I don't want them to have a blue check mark, Mel.
我不想让他们有上百万的粉丝。
I don't want them to have a million fucking followers.
我不需要他们拥有顶级播客或大企业。
I don't need them to have a top five podcast or big businesses.
我需要他们拥有内心的平静。
I need them to have peace of mind.
你知道现在有多少听众应该少赚很多钱吗？
Do you know how many people listening right now should make a lot less money?
他们赚着微薄的收入，却不喜欢自己的工作。
They're making $2.40 but they don't like their job.
他们过着超出自己能力的生活，所以需要这份工作来维持那些并不能带来真正快乐的生活方式，你知道他们需要做什么吗？
They're living above their means so they need their job to continue to pay for their lifestyle of things that bring them no actual joy and you know what they need to do?
他们需要简化自己的生活。
They need to simplify their life.
我们必须摆脱这种攀比的物质主义。
We must get out of this materialistic keeping up with the Joneses.
听好了，我需要行动。
Now listen, I need action.
现在有很多人在听，他们根本不需要简单生活。
Like there's plenty of people listening right now that don't need simplicity.
我需要行动。
I need action.
我需要人，因为我太爱他们了，我需要这个游戏，我太有创造力了，这太有趣了，我是个城市男孩，我是个喜欢社交的人，我爱每个人，不管他们对我是什么意图，我需要这些。
I need people because I love them too much, I need the game, I'm too creative, it's like too fun, I'm a city boy, I'm a people person, I love everyone regardless of what their intent is towards me, I need it.
对吧？
Right?
但如果我不需要，地球上没有人会认识我。
But if I didn't, I would no one on earth would know me.
我会住在完全偏僻的地方，做简单的事情，因为我对真实的自己感到自在。
I would live in the middle of absolutely nowhere, and I would do simple things because I'm comfortable in being who I actually am.
这就是人生的秘诀。
That is the secret to life.
就是这样。
Period.
你对自己满意吗？
Are you comfortable with yourself?
你为自己感到骄傲吗？
Are you proud of yourself?
内心平静意味着你不会再问自己：我是谁？
Peace of mind means you're not questioning, who am I?
我今天该做什么？
What should I be doing today?
这个人怎么看我？
What does this person think of me?
而是你清楚自己是谁。
That you know who you are.
你清楚自己的意图。
You know your intention.
我觉得这一点真的非常重要，因为你追求物质的东西，是因为你觉得如果你有合适的包包、合适的车、合适的衣服，或者住在合适的社区、加入合适的俱乐部，或者指甲做得恰到好处，别人就会认为你是某种人。
And I think this is really, really important because you chase the material thing because you think that if you have the right purse or the right car or the right outfit outfit on or the right house in the right neighborhood or you belong to the right club or you have your nails done the right way, that other people are gonna think you are a certain person.
对。
Yep.
而那会给你带来自信和内心的平静。
And that is going to give you the confidence and peace of mind.
没错。
That's right.
但事实并非如此。
It doesn't.
不是的。
Nope.
这会把你的自我价值建立在别人的看法上，而别人的看法你永远无法控制，这意味着你会一直追逐别人的认可，来获得本可以自己给自己的肯定。
It anchors your self worth in someone else's opinion, which you will never control, which means you will always be chasing other people's opinions in order to get the validation that you can give to yourself.
是的。
Yes.
你知道我对2050到2060年最大的期望是什么吗？
You know what my great hope is for 2050 to 2060?
我希望科技的进步能让我们回归简单。
Is that the advancements of technology actually bring us back to simplicity?
顺便说一句，我确实相信这一点。
I believe this, by the way.
这是我对未来可能走向的一个核心观点。
This is one of my thesis of how it could go.
而且，是的，你可能没有你朋友那样的车，你朋友的丈夫可能比你的更有魅力，或者别的什么。
And yeah, you might not have the same car you're friends with, husband might be just much more attractive than yours or whatever it might be.
你可能只是公司里的总监，而不是高级副总裁，但我可以告诉你，Mel，对我来说，
You might be a director and not an SVP in your company, but I can tell you about me, Mel.
我看人百分之百是看他们的人性。
I the way I view people is 100% based on their humanity.
我看人的标准是，我喜欢这个人还是不喜欢？
The way I view, do I like someone, do I not?
或者，梅尔，你可能会对这个感兴趣。
Or like, Mel, this may interest you.
你可能不知道我这一点。
This you may not know about me.
我对人们的事业成就，包括我自己的，都极其不以为然。
I am wildly unimpressed including myself in people's business accomplishments.
这一点都不让我意外。
That does not surprise me in the least.
我想一直聊下去，但你知道规矩的。
I wanna keep going, going, going, but you know the deal.
我得暂停一下，好让我们的赞助商有机会说几句话。
I gotta I gotta hit the pause button so we can give our sponsors a chance to share a few words.
我知道你正在想生活中的那些人，因为加里说的每句话都让你觉得是真理。
And I know you're thinking of people in your life because everything Gary is saying is hitting you as the truth.
这很实用。
It is practical.
这很有策略性。
It is tactical.
所以，在听我们赞助商讲话的时候，我希望你复制粘贴，然后发到家庭群里。
And so while you listen to our sponsors, I want you to copy and paste and dump this in the family group chat.
我希望你和朋友分享这个，因为你身边有些人今天需要听到Gary说的每一句话。
I want you to share this with your friends because there are people in your life who need to hear everything that Gary is pouring into you today.
别走开，因为我们回来之后，Gary和我会深入聊聊时间、遗憾，还有那三个让你现在感觉被困住、不开心的词。
And don't go anywhere because when we come back, Gary and I are gonna unpack the topic of time, regrets, and the three words that are keeping you feeling stuck and unhappy right now.
相信我，接下来的对话会让你清醒，改变你对生活方式的看法。
Trust me, the next part of this conversation is gonna wake you up and change the way you think about how you're living your life.
别走开。
Don't go anywhere.
Gary Vaynerchuk和我马上回来。
Gary Vaynerchuk and I are gonna be right back.
很多来自世界各地的听众写信问我，嘿，梅尔，你和这个纯天才蛋白粉是什么关系？
A lot of listeners from around the world have been writing and asking me, hey, Mel, what's your relationship with this pure genius protein?
让我来告诉你。
So let me tell you.
这个播客里的医学专家和科研人员一直来告诉我们，我们需要更多的蛋白质。
The medical experts and scientific researchers on this podcast kept coming on and telling you and me, we need more protein.
我找到了这种小小的二十三克蛋白饮品，三秒钟就能喝完。
I found this tiny twenty three gram protein shot that you could drink in three seconds.
它让我的生活和健康变得更好，好到我决定参与其中，成了联合创始人。
It changed my life and health for the better, so much so, I decided to get involved and I became a co founder.
但我们还想加一样东西，就是纤维。
But there was one thing we wanted to add, fiber.
你知道吗，百分之九十五的美国人每天摄入的纤维量没有达到推荐标准。
Did you know ninety five percent of Americans are not getting the recommended amount of fiber every day?
这就是为什么我喜欢我们创造的这个产品。
And that's why I love what we have created.
一支二十克蛋白质加五克纤维的蛋白饮。
A twenty gram protein shot with five grams of fiber.
三秒钟就能喝完。
You can drink it in three seconds.
味道非常好。
It's delicious.
你不会觉得胀或者撑。
You're not gonna feel bloated or full.
在喝咖啡之前，你就能一次性获得蛋白质和纤维的所有好处。
You'll have all the benefits of protein and fiber in one shot before you even have your cup of coffee.
你一定会喜欢的。
You're gonna love this.
在puregeniusprotein.com使用优惠码MEL10，首单可享九折优惠。
Use code MEL10 at puregeniusprotein.com for 10% off your first order.
每支不到三美元，就能获得二十克蛋白质和五克纤维。
20 grams of protein and five grams of fiber for under $3 a shot.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，我和加里·维纳查克一起在这里，他正在教你如何停止找借口。
Today, you and I are here with Gary Vaynerchuk, and he's teaching you how to stop making excuses.
现在就改变你的生活。
Change your life right now.
好了，加里。
Alright, Gary.
我们直接继续吧。
Let's just jump right back in.
我真心相信，而且很高兴我们聚焦在这个点上，那就是衡量一个人的标准不是他们拥有什么。
I really truly believe, and I'm glad we're lasering in on this, that the measure of a person is not what they have.
而是他们如何对待他人。
It's how they treat other people.
我这辈子唯一真正为之而活的就是我的葬礼。
The only thing I actually live my life for is my funeral.
咱们就聊这个吧，因为，拜托了。
Let's go here because Please.
你做过或说过的所有事情里，我最喜欢的一个，是一个视频。
One of my most favorite things that I have ever seen you do or say, it is a video.
我一开口，你就知道是哪个了。
You're gonna know exactly which one it is as I start to speak.
你坐在出租车里，车窗摇下来，在红绿灯前，一个女人跑过来，说，加里，加里，天哪，加里，我太爱你了。
You are in a cab, I believe, and the window is down and you're at a stoplight and a woman runs over and is like, Gary, Gary, oh my god, Gary, I love you.
你知道，我今天需要点动力。
You know, I need some motivation today.
给我点动力吧。
Give me some motivation.
然后你看着窗外，看着她，说，你会死的。
And you look out the window and you look at her and you say, You're gonna die.
她有点被吓到了。
And she's kind of startled.
我不记得原话是什么了，但大概就是，你会死的。
And I don't remember the exact words, but it was, You're gonna die.
我们都会死的。
We're all gonna die.
真正重要的是你想怎么活？
What really matters is how do you wanna live?
你想怎么活？
How do you want to live?
趁你还在，趁你还活着，趁你爱的人还能走进这个房间，你打算怎么活？
And while you're here and while you're still on this side of the dirt and while people that you still love can still walk into the room, how are you going to live?
因为你不想到了自己的葬礼上，才后悔说，天哪，我真希望我当初做了。
Because you do not wanna get to your funeral and go, God, I wish I had.
天哪，我真希望我以前是个更好的人。
Boy, I wish I woulda's a better person.
你看，我跟你一样。
See, I am like you.
我一直在想那个时刻。
I constantly think about that moment.
我希望回头看的时候能说，我是个称职的妈妈。
I want to reflect back and go, I was a good mom.
也是个好朋友。
Was like a good friend.
你知道吗？
You know?
去奔跑。
To run.
我付出了很多
I gave a good
我付出的比得到的多。
I gave more than I took.
我挠了挠痒。
I scratched the itches.
你知道吗，我对接下来要说的话非常激动。
You know, I'm very passionate about what I'm about to say.
我觉得我们在对待老年人这件事上迷失了方向。
I think we've lost our way with the elderly.
我觉得过去三四十年科技的进步让我们开始嘲笑祖父母，因为他们不会用Open Claw，或者即时通讯工具，或者Snapchat，而我认为我们真的误解了真正的智慧，这对我们自己是一种伤害。
I think the last thirty, forty years of technology advancements have made us make fun of grandparents because they don't know how to use Open Claw or, you know, instant messenger or Snapchat, and I think we've really done a disservice to ourselves by misunderstanding what true wisdom is.
一百年前，不尊重长辈的想法是难以想象的。
A hundred years ago, the thought of disrespecting an elder was as foreign as you can imagine.
有时候我喜欢用一些策略。
I like tactics sometimes.
我有个奇怪的问题，大家。
I got a weird one everyone.
这其实是个大问题，而且非常冷门。
This is a big one actually, it's a very left field one.
我保证，我真的从来没听别人对这件事这么上心过，所以我喜欢提它。
Promise you I've literally never heard anyone else get hot on this one, so I like bringing it up.
如果你能在你附近的养老院做五小时义工，就像直接打电话、发邮件，说，嘿，这是从Mel的播客听来的，可能你觉得挺奇怪的，但有没有办法让我去做五小时？
If you can volunteer five hours to a retirement home in your general area, like literally call them, email them, be like, hey, was this something to Mel's podcast like super weird you might think, but like is there any way for me to like give five hours?
那五个小时里会发生很多好事。
So much good will happen in that five hours.
首先，那些地方很多人其实很孤独。
First of all, a lot of people in those places are quite lonely.
不幸的是，确实，你说得对。
Unfortunately, and really, you're right.
你就像，我甚至看到自己说出这话，就像，然后你，我知道很多人刚才都……
You're like I see like even saying it like coming out of my mouth, was like and then you're and I know a lot of people just went.
对吧？
Right?
事情就是这样。
It's just the way it is.
这确实很难。
It's really tough.
所以这让我很心疼，而你会做一件真正的好事，一份真正的礼物，一件真正美好的事情，比如和一个91岁的老太太聊聊她的人生，会给她带来极大的陪伴之乐。
So that breaks my heart and you would be doing a real mitzvah, a real gift, a real nice thing like talking to a 91 year old woman about her life will bring her incredible joy of just companionship.
但这里有个小秘密，这对你的好处更大。
But here's a little secret, it's gonna do a lot more for you.
让我告诉你，作为一个曾经特意在飞机上、机场里以及生活中各种偶然时刻去陪伴那些八十多岁老人的人，所有收听这个播客的人最想避免的就是遗憾。
And let me tell you as someone who has gone out of his way to sit with people in their eighties on planes and at airports and in random moments in my life, the number one thing everyone listening to this podcast wants to avoid is regret.
如果这个播客能带来任何影响，如果一个人，如果你们中的某一位，决定明天去做点什么，比如跳伞、辞职去当遛狗师过更简朴的生活、离开一段有害的关系、摆脱遗憾，那就明天去做，明天，明天就去做点什么。
If anything comes out of this podcast, if one person, if one of you, if one of you decide to do something tomorrow, jump out of a plane skydiving, quit your job and become a dog walker and live more humbly, get out of a toxic relationship, get out of regret, do something tomorrow, tomorrow, Do something tomorrow.
这期节目可能是在秋天播出的，你可能正在秋天收听，是的。
This is probably air this you're probably consuming this right as the fall, you know Yes.
季节在变，对吧，各位？
Seasons change, right, everyone?
在你的生活和现实生活中，我们正走出夏天，现在正是行动的时候。
In your life and in real life, we're coming out of summer, like we're in the go time.
这是九月的能量。
It's September energy.
这是足球赛季。
It's football season.
明天，明天就去做那件你心里惦记了一天、一年，甚至很可能十年的事，梅尔，真的去做吧。
Tomorrow, tomorrow do something that's been sitting in your tummy for a day, a year and most likely a decade, Mel, and just do it actually.
我向你保证，你所害怕的事情，远没有三十年后你对着一个长得像加里的陌生人说出那句最糟糕的话来得可怕。梅尔，那句话只有三个字。
I promise you whatever that you're scared of is far less scary than thirty years from now telling some random stranger that looks like Gary that you the worst sentence, Mel, is three words.
我要是当初……就好了。
I wish I dot dot dot dot.
而我最开心的是，我不那样活。
And my great joy is that I don't live that way.
四百万亿分之一的机会，梅尔。
400,000,000,000,000 to one, Mel.
是的。
Yep.
四百万亿分之一。
400,000,000,000,000 to one.
朋友们，现在的科学——我不是科学家。
My friends, the current scientific I'm no scientist.
我成绩很差，所以等等。
I got f's inside so Wait.
根据我了解到的，那些比我厉害得多的现代科学家们目前认为，成为一个人的概率是四百万亿分之一。
Here we what I've been able to consume, modern scientists that are way above my pay grade currently have the likelihood of becoming a human being at 400,000,000,000,000 to one.
你能成为你。
That you are you.
你能出生。
That you are born.
如果妈妈在怀你之前多喝了一杯酒，整个局面就会完全不同，你也不会是你了。
Mom could have went for another glass of wine before it went down and the whole game would have been different and you would not be you.
说这是奇迹，简直是对生命来之不易的不尊重。
Like it is it is for Miracle is disrespectful to how impossible it is to have a life.
所以你就打算一辈子这么消沉下去吗？
So you're gonna mope around your whole life?
让我把话说清楚。
Let me get this straight.
你中了宇宙的头号大奖，真正的宇宙。
You've won the ultimate lottery of the universe, of the actual universe.
然后我们却决定为些破事儿唉声叹气、哭哭啼啼。
And we've decided we're gonna mope and cry about dumb shit.
还有最妙的是，你不喜欢这样？
And here's the best part, you don't like it?
那就去换个环境啊。
Go change the room.
对吧？
Right?
是的。
Yes.
你不喜欢吗？
You don't like it?
那就换个房间。
Change the room.
你不喜欢你的感情关系？
You don't like your relationship?
那就换个家。
Change the house.
你不喜欢你的老板？
You don't like your boss?
那就换个办公室。
Change the office.
你不喜欢
You don't
你的心态吗？
like your mindset?
那就改变它。
Change it.
像这样吃垃圾。
Consume shit like this.
对。
Yeah.
你不喜欢社交媒体上出现的内容？
You don't like what's showing up on social media?
那就改变你关注的东西。
Change what you follow.
算法暴露了你的真实面目。
The algorithm is exposing who you actually are.
太真实了。
It's so true.
而且，听好了。
And know, listen.
朋友们，阻碍你们很多人前进的头号问题就是缺乏谦逊。
Friends, the number one thing that's holding so many of you back is your lack of humility.
我跟你们说，朋友们，我求你们了。
I'm telling you, my friends, I'm begging you.
我鼻子都快贴到麦克风上了，我求你们了。
I'm like nose to Mike, I'm begging you.
去拥抱这些老派的价值观吧，谦逊、礼貌，还有善良，比如直接帮别人开门，微笑一下。
Lean into these old school values, humility, civility, like kindness towards straight like open the door for someone smile.
你知道我对多少人微笑过吗？
Do you know how many people I smile at
梅尔？
Mel?
所有人。
Everybody.
你真该看看我在机场的样子。
You should see me in an airport.
我觉得这就像个笑话一样。
I'm like it's like a joke.
我甚至不知道，你知道的，现在人们都知道我是谁了。
I don't even know like you know and now people know who I am.
所以以前好玩多了，因为你知道，没人认识你，你只是个傻乎乎、笑容满面的人。
So it was a lot more fun back in the day because, you know, like no one You're just the goofy guy with a big smile.
对。
Right.
而且顺便说一句，很多人也会回以微笑，他们需要这个。
And like and by the way, a lot of people smile back and they need it.
然后我想说，我觉得像我这样的人，像你，我认为幸福在这方面做得不好。
And then I would say this, I think people like myself, like you, I believe happiness has done a bad job.
让我解释一下。
Let me explain.
我觉得过去十年，不幸福在营销方面做得非常出色。
I think the last decade unhappiness has been amazing at marketing.
那些不快乐的人做得很好。
That the people that are unhappy are doing a great job.
他们会花时间在网上到处逛，看别人的视频，让自己被激怒，然后留下恶毒的评论。
They're taking time to go around the Internet, look at people's clips, allow themselves to get triggered, and then leave nasty comments.
他们很努力。
They're working.
留负面评论确实是一份全职工作。
It is a full time job to leave negative comments.
我觉得快乐这方面做得不好。
I believe happiness is doing a bad job.
我觉得我们这样的人还不够多。
I believe there are not enough of us.
梅尔，我现在要说一些非常有力量的话。
And Mel, I'm gonna say something right now that's really powerful.
我们有很多人，但他们都很安静。
There's a lot of us, but they're quiet.
他们之所以沉默，是因为他们还没有完全准备好，为了更大的目标去承受嘲笑和评判。
They are quiet because they're not at the full place yet where they're willing to deal with the ridicule and the judgment for the bigger purpose.
我在初中和高中时，从来没有遇到过融入集体的问题。
I didn't deal with any issues in high school or junior high around trying to fit in.
比如我特别受欢迎，因为你知道，我的性格就是这样。
Like I was incredibly well liked because of how you know, my personality is my personality.
同辈压力对我来说根本不存在。
Peer pressure was nonexistent.
在初中或高中，我从来没有违背过自己的原则，没有改变过自己。
I never compromised my morals of who I was in junior high or high school.
作为成年人，我绝对不会这么做。
I'm definitely not gonna fucking do it as an adult.
所以，对于有些人来说，他们被别人的看法所束缚。我记得我刚开始在网上发布内容时，我非常害怕朋友们会怎么想。
So for somebody though who is crippled by other people's opinions, and I remember when I first started putting myself out there online, I was absolutely terrified of what my friends were gonna think.
我觉得自己特别尴尬。
I felt cringey as hell.
发完东西然后去看有多少人点赞，再质疑自己发的内容，然后往下翻，看到几个赞，再看看谁没点赞，这是人的天性。
And it is human nature to post, then to check how many people, then to question what you post, then to go down and you've got a couple likes and then see who's not liking it.
然后还会盯着那个奇怪的表情符号评论看。
And then look at the one comment that is the weird emoji.
然后你会想他们发那个奇怪表情时到底在想什么，然后就把注意力全放在负面的东西上，而不是关注正面的。
And then you wonder what they were actually thinking when they put the weird emoji and then laser focus on the thing that's negative instead of focusing on the thing that's positive.
我觉得这种习惯和本能，总是盯着不好的地方，让很多人不敢大胆尝试，因为你说了，加里，生活的大小取决于你愿意冒险和尝试新事物的程度。
And I think that habit and instinct to go to what's wrong keeps so many people from leaning in and experimenting because you say, Gary, life shrinks and expands in proportion to your willingness to take risks and try new things.
对大多数人来说，把自己展现出来，不管是网上发帖、换工作、开始锻炼，还是开个Etsy小店，都超级吓人。
And for most people, putting yourself out there, whether it's posting online or changing your career or starting to exercise or starting that Etsy shop is freaking terrifying.
对。
Yes.
因为他们看待生活的整个框架都建立在别人的看法上，除了他们自己，所有人都能影响他们。
Because their entire framework of how they see life is predicated on other people's opinions, everybody but them own selves.
那怎么才能不在乎别人怎么想呢？
So how do you stop caring about what other people think?
练习。
Practice.
怎么练习？
How do I practice?
去做就行了。
By doing it.
你面前这个人，小时候怕游泳、怕骑自行车，怕得要死。
You're looking at a boy who literally was scared shitless to swim and ride a bike.
我有很多害怕的事情，但我觉得在十五六岁到十七八岁那会儿，全都克服了。
Like there was a lot of things I was scared of that I think I just got it all out of the system by the time I was 15, 16, 17, 18, somewhere in that range.
好的。
Okay.
那对于57岁、27岁或者37岁的人，
So for the 57 year old or the 27 year old or the 37
37岁的人？
year old?
让我给你说个大的。
Let me give you the big one.
各位家长，如果你的孩子成绩不好，我要说点奇怪的话，我自己都不知道对不对，但我告诉你，这里面真的有价值。
Parents, if you have a child that gets bad grades, I'm gonna say something weird that I'm I don't even know if I'm right, wrong, left, right, but I'm telling you, there's some real value.
我看到现在很多人，很多人很害怕，就是因为他们以前是好学生。
I see so many people, so many people now, that are scared right now, were too good of students.
他们太循规蹈矩了。
They drew too much in the line.
他们从外界获得认可。
They get validation from outside.
每九十天从老师那里得到A+、B+、A-。
Every ninety days from a teacher, A plus, B plus, A minus.
我觉得这里面有很多东西。
I think there's a lot there.
所以回答你的问题，就是练习。
And so to answer your question, practice.
你得习惯这一点。
You've got to get used to.
被嘲笑得够多了。
Get ridiculed so much.
被评判得够多了。
Get judged so much.
被推回来太多次，以至于你再也听不进去了。
Get pushed back so much that you can't hear it anymore.
有趣的是，如果你真的想想跨出那一步，我觉得你和我的人生哲学可以用耐克的标语来解释：只管去做。
What's interesting is that if you really think about the stepping up to the line, like, I feel like you and I, our philosophy in life could be explained by the Nike tagline, just do it.
而大多数人并不理解这三个字中最有力量的那个字。
And the most people don't understand the most powerful word of those three words.
就是“只管”。
It's just.
因为如果他们的标语是“去做”，那就不那么鼓舞人心了。
Because if their, tagline had been do it, that's not that inspiring.
这个“就”字特别有力量，因为它尊重了那种非常人性化、普遍存在的犹豫时刻。
The just is so powerful because it honors this very human and universal moment of hesitation.
你说现在正在听的人正处在临界点上。
You said that the person that's listening right now is on the cusp
是的。
Yes.
我，我相信这一点。
I I believe that.
某种事情的临界点。
Of something.
你已经从看台上站起来了。
You have gotten up out of the stands.
你一直在看比赛。
You've been watching a game.
现在你正站在临时篮球场的边线上。
You're now standing there on the sideline of the pickup basketball court.
对。
Mhmm.
而你正在犹豫。
And you are hesitating.
那个“就是”承认了犹豫是正常的。
That just is an acknowledgment that the hesitation is normal.
犹豫是你即将……之前的感觉。
The hesitation is what you feel right before
完全正确。
100%.
你突破过去。
You push through.
我能用这个比喻吗？
Can can I use that analogy?
请吧。
Please.
大家注意了，这非常重要。
This is very important everyone.
我觉得我发现了什么，所以大家要集中注意力。
I I feel like I'm on to one here, so so lock in.
如果我现在去篮球场，是的。
If I went on a basketball court right now Yep.
我球打得还不错，但假设这是一场水平很高的比赛，我表现很差，其他九个人都故意让我难堪。
And I'm a decent little player, but let's say this was just a really high level game, and I sucked, and the other nine people really went there of trying to make me feel bad about it.
我心里会反问他们一个很简单的问题，就是，你们说得对。
There's something in me that asks them in return a very simple question which is like, you are correct.
你们九个篮球打得比我好。
You nine are better at basketball than I am.
但我现在有个问题要问你们。
But now I have a question for you.
你们比我更善良吗？
Are you a nicer boy than I am?
你赚钱有我厉害吗？
Are you as good at making money as I am?
你做社交媒体内容有我好吗？
Do you know how to make social media content as well as I do?
你懂什么是直播带货吗？你知道那能给你们九个人的生活带来多大的改变吗？就在今天？
Do you understand what live shopping is and how much that can change your nine person's lives today today?
为什么我们非要纠结于那一两件你不如别人的事情，让它们占据你所有的注意力呢？
Why have we gotten into a place where one or two or three things that you're not as good at are eating up all the oxygen?
朋友们，你们每个人都有自己的闪光点。
My friends, every one of you is great at something.
这是真的。
It's true.
我有一个好朋友叫内特，他给我做了很长时间的助理，也是我Empathy Wines的联合创始人，现在在高尔夫行业工作。
I have a great friend, Nate, who was my admin for a long time, my cofounder in Empathy Wines, now works in the golfing industry.
我儿子出生那会儿，他是我的助理，我们打了好多次网球，因为我休了几周的假。
He was my admin when I had my son, and we got to play tennis a bunch because I had a couple weeks off.
你会打网球？
You're a tennis player?
是的。
Yeah.
我打得不太好。
I hack a little.
我有点想象你穿白色网球服的样子。
I kinda see you in whites.
好吧。
Okay.
所以我们通常只打一盘，因为我想赶紧回家看孩子，还有其他事情要忙。
So we would play one set because I'd wanna go home back to this to the boy and like da da da.
那个夏天有两次，他打到五比一领先，结果我赢了。
And twice in that summer, he was up five one, and I won.
我逆转赢了，比分是七比五和七比六。
Came back and won seven five and seven six.
有几件事。
Couple things.
第一，因为当我以五比一落后时，我开始改变场上的气氛。
One, it's because when I was down five one, I started to change the energy of the court.
我开始对他和自己说话。
I started to verbalize towards him and to myself.
你说了什么？
What did you say?
第一次
The first
我只是开始说，内特，我有种感觉我会翻盘。
time I just started talking of like, Nate, have a feeling I'm gonna come back.
说出来真的很有用，太神奇了。
Like it's crazy what verbalization does.
是的。
Yes.
而且体育真的很疯狂。
And then sports is wild.
生活就像体育，讲究的是势头。
Life is sports, it's momentum.
现在，有个39岁的女人正在听这个，她最近一直不顺，但真的，一个点，也就是她明天采取的一个行动，就能改变整个比赛的格局，她接下来的五十年会非常精彩。
Right now people, there's a 39 year old woman right now listening to this and it's just not been going well and literally one point aka one action she takes tomorrow changes the whole calculus of the game and her next fifty years are epic.
你知道这对我来说有多让人着迷吗？
Do you know how intoxicating that is to me?
哦，我也超爱这个。
Oh, I love this too.
而且我喜欢你离一个决定、一个行动那么近。
And I love that you're one decision away, one action
离一个完全不同的结果那么近。总之，我赢了他。
away from a completely So different anyway, I beat him.
好的。
Okay.
然后第二次我就想，Nate，你知道这又要发生了，结果真的又发生了。
And then the second time I'm just like, Nate, you know this is about to happen again and it did.
多年来，我们在一起的时候，我总会提起这两次逆转来逗逗他，在商务场合或者别的场合开开玩笑，他每次都吃这一套。
For years, when we would be together, I would bring up these two comebacks to razz them a little bit and like boy talk in business settings and different things and he would always eat it.
最后我转向他说，Nate，在用这招逗了他九次之后。
And finally I turned to him and said, Nate, like after nine times using this on him.
我看着他说，Nate，下次我再他妈说那句话，你就直直地盯着我的脸，问我差点是多少，因为他是个很厉害的高尔夫球手。
I looked at him and said, Nate, the next time I fucking say that, you look me dead in the face and ask me what my handicap is because he's a remarkable golfer.
差点为零。
Scratch.
而我这辈子只打过九次高尔夫。
And I've played nine times in my life.
每个人都有自己的长处。
Everybody's good at something.
而那个长处可能就是，你是个好人。
And that something might be, you're just a nice person.
而且我觉得，在加里·维纳查克的人生尺度上，做个好人比拥有一千万粉丝和一千万现金要重要得多。
And I would argue in Gary Vaynerchuk's scale of life, being a good human is way ahead of 10,000,000 followers and $10,000,000 in cash.
你可能不信我，因为你不了解我，但那只是因为你还不认识我。
And you may not believe me because you don't know me, but that's because you just don't know me.
加里，如果我们不现在停下来，我们俩能聊五个小时，所以我得先休息一下，让我们的赞助商说几句话。
Gary, you and I are gonna talk for five hours if I don't stop us right now so I can take a break and let our sponsors share a few words.
别走开。
Do not go anywhere.
我知道你们很喜欢这段对话，但请继续听下去，因为回来后，加里会给你们一些职业建议，特别是现在如果你正在找工作的话。
I know you're loving the conversation, but hang with us because when we return, Gary is gonna give some career advice, especially right now if you're looking for a job.
他还会告诉你们一个永远不要再说的词。
He's also gonna tell you one word to never say again.
如果你觉得自己想创业，他也有建议给你。
He also has advice for you if you think you want to start a business.
而这些建议将来自这个星球上最成功、最受尊敬的企业家之一。
And this is going be coming from one of the most successful and respected entrepreneurs on the planet.
接下来的内容你肯定不想错过。
You don't want to miss what's coming next.
我和Gary马上回来。
Gary and I are going to be right back.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友Mel Robbins。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，你和我一起请到了Gary Vaynerchuk，他正在教你如何停止找借口。
Today, you and I are here with Gary Vaynerchuk, and he's teaching you how to stop making excuses.
现在就改变你的生活。
Change your life right now.
好了，Gary，我们直接继续吧。
All right, Gary, let's just jump right back in.
我想回到之前的话题，因为你讲那个故事是有原因的。
I wanna circle back because you told that story for a reason.
你讲那个故事的原因，是因为你刚刚给出了一个能让你不再袖手旁观的工具和方法。
And the reason why you told that story is because you just gave the tool and the tactic that gets you off the sideline.
没错，
That's
对。
right.
因为当你站在那里的时候，不管你的旁观是什么——比如我在考房地产执照。
Because as you're standing there, whether the sideline for you is, I'm taking the real estate exam.
我要辞掉这份工作。
I'm quitting this job.
我要离开这段关系。
I'm leaving this relationship.
我要学习怎么在网上赚钱，做直播带货。
I am going to learn how to make money online and do live shopping.
是的，我就是要这么做。
Yes, I am.
当你站在那条线上，心里既想行动又犹豫不决的时候，唯一批评你的人就是你自己。
When you're standing on that line and the just do it and the hesitation is building, the only one criticizing you is you.
当你开始对自己说狠话的时候，我就要干成这件事。
And when you start to smack talk yourself, I'm doing the damn thing.
我知道我害怕。
I know I'm scared.
我知道这感觉很奇怪。
I know it feels weird.
看我怎么逆袭。
Watch me make a comeback.
看我怎么改变人生。
Watch me change my life.
这会改变你的人生轨迹，因为现在你不再和自己较劲了，而正是这种自我较劲造成了犹豫。顺便说一句，你生活中没有人会对你说，你敢做那件事试试。
It changes the trajectory of your life because now instead of arguing against yourself, which is what's creating the hesitation, by the way, Nobody else in your life is going, don't you dare do that thing.
当然。
Of course.
就是你自己。
It's you.
这很让人心碎。
It's heartbreaking.
你不觉得
Don't you
这很让人心碎吗？
think it's heartbreaking?
是的。
Yes.
如果你允许的话，我再给你描绘另一个画面。
And let me paint another picture if you allow me.
直播
Live
购物。
shopping.
直播，我知道你懂的，那你说说什么是直播购物。
Live I know you're so explain what live shopping is.
是不是就是社交媒体上的QVC？
Is it it's QVC on on social.
媒体。
Media.
对。
Yes.
对吧？
Right?
对。
Yes.
不复杂。
Not complicated.
对。
Yes.
就是现在打开TikTok，随便刷一会儿。
It is go on TikTok right now and scroll for a while.
你刷不了几下，头十五次滑动里，肯定有人不是在发内容，而是在直播卖货，通常卖的都是些你根本不需要的小玩意儿。
Inevitably, within your first 15 scrolls, somebody is literally instead of a piece of content, there's somebody who's actually live selling normally some tchotchkas that you don't need.
对吧？
Okay?
但这正是社交媒体当初的样子，Mel。
But it is but Mel, exactly where social media was.
你知道，你说你十四年前偶然发现了我。
You know, you you said you stumbled on me fourteen years ago.
嗯嗯。
Uh-huh.
所以那会儿是2012年。
So we're talking '12.
2012年？
2012?
是的，2012年。
Yes, 2012.
那时候我已经连续五年每天都在做关于社交媒体的内容了。
I had already been making content about social for five full years every day.
真的假的。
No kidding.
社交媒体，社交媒体，社交媒体。
Social, social, social.
Wine Library
Wine Library
电视台。
TV.
对。
Yes.
是的。
Yeah.
Wine Library TV 在零六年，零七年的时候，我就开始做那种内容，告诉大家你可以在社交媒体上改变人生，每个人都能做到，YouTube、Twitter、Facebook，然后一年后我写了这本书，再过一年出版，就是零九年，那本书真的让我出名了。
Wine Library TV was 'six, by 'seven I'm making content of like you can change your life on social, everyone can do this, YouTube, Twitter, Facebook, then a year later I write this book, it comes out a year later, o '9, that really puts me on.
现在的直播购物，正好就是2014年社交媒体所处的那个阶段。
Where live shopping is right this second is exactly where social was in 2014.
好的。
Okay.
人们知道它，我们已经接受了它的存在。
People know it, We've accepted that it's out there.
对。
Yep.
你听说过它。
You've heard of it.
人们知道TikTok Shop是什么。
People know what TikTok shop is.
人们可能听说过Whatnot。
People maybe have heard of whatnot.
大家都看到过那些头条新闻。
People have seen the headlines.
对。
Mhmm.
并不是每个听众都会问，那是什么？
It's not like everyone who's listening is like, what is that?
可能有人会问，那是什么？
Like, they might be like, what is that?
但也有很多听众现在会说，哦，我知道那是什么。
But also a lot of people listening right now like, oh, I know what that is.
我知道那是什么。
I know what that is.
就是那个“现在购买”按钮。
It's the shop now button.
就是那个按钮。
It's the this button.
很多人觉得自己已经错过了。
A lot of people think they've already missed it.
就像，哎呀，真可惜。
Like, oh, darn.
或者，我不懂。
Or like, I don't get it.
好的。
Okay.
这是一个大主题。
This is a big theme.
现在你正在听Gary说话，注意听，因为他可能正在讲直播购物。
Now as you're listening to Gary right now, want you to pay attention because he may be talking about live shopping.
这就是为你准备的。
This is what's meant for you.
这种“我错过了”的想法。
This notion of I missed it.
我太晚了。
I'm too late.
我错过了那个时机。
I I missed the window.
别人已经在做了。
Somebody else is doing it.
现在我没法做了。
Now I can't do it.
人太多了
There's too many
已经有人在直播带货了。
people selling person's already on shop shopping.
我没办法。
I can't.
太疯狂了。
Crazy.
因为外面的情况，你内心的对话就会变成‘不是我’这种想法。
Because of out there, your internal dialogue goes not me.
很多时候，这种想法听起来就像‘我太老了’、‘我太晚了’、‘别人太多了’，而你正要反驳说‘你错了’。
And a lot of times this sounds like I'm too old, I'm too late, there's too many other people, and you're about to say you're wrong.
你不仅错了，我们就是活生生的例子。
Not only you're wrong, we represent it.
我从2007年就开始做播客了。
I I've been podcasting since 2007.
从2000年，那时候新冠疫情是什么时候？
From 2000 when was COVID nineteen?
从2014年到19年，我有一个排名前100的播客。
From 2014 to '19, I had a top 100 podcast.
我的播客不一样。
Mine was different.
它是从我们做的事情里提取音频。
It was ripping audio out of things that I were doing.
而且就两秒钟，因为你做得更好，领先多少年都不重要。
And in two seconds, because you did it better, it didn't matter how many years of a head start.
不过加里，你想听个疯狂的事吗？
Do wanna know something crazy though, Gary?
2018年的时候
In 2018
是的。
Yes.
我记得看过你的播客。
I remember seeing your podcast.
我也记得看过别人的播客。
I remember seeing other people's podcasts.
我当时想做播客，是因为我在媒体行业起步时，在波士顿这边主持了一个周六早间的本地电台节目。
I wanted to do a podcast because I had gotten my start in the media business by hosting a local radio show Saturday mornings here in Boston.
你知道我当时怎么跟自己说的吗？
You know what I told myself?
我站在场边看着你做播客，心里却一直在犹豫要不要去做。
As I'm standing on the sideline watching your ass do your podcast, and I'm feeling the just do it hesitation.
天哪。
Oh my God.
我心想，加里已经做过了。
I said, well, Gary's already done it.
所以那种动力，还有我想做的那种事，已经有人做了。
So the motivation and the, you know, that kind of thing that I wanna do, it's already taken.
又过了六年，我才不再说服自己放弃，真正去做了。
It would be another six years before I stopped talking myself out of it and actually did it.
那这个怎么样？
How about this?
那在这个播客里，我明确说过，有一万个听众也是好人，也希望别人好，他们其实也能做到。
How about in this podcast, I said very clearly there are 10,000 listeners that are nice people too and want good for others that actually can do it.
当然。
Of course.
但你知道这有多疯狂吗？
But you know how crazy that is?
就这个听众群体。
Just this listener group.
有一万个人现在就可以开始。
There's 10,000 people that can start right now.
他们完全是从零开始。
They're in dead zero.
我们，我，嗯，
We I'm Well,
每个人都是从零开始的。
everybody starts at dead zero.
废话，这还用你说。
No shit, Sherlock.
但一年后，他们可能过上完全不同的生活。
But and in a year, they could have a totally different life.
真正想对听众说的是，你正处在某件事的边缘。
The actual message to the person listening is there is something that you are on the cusp of.
你有一件特别擅长的事。
There is something you are amazing at.
你越是坐在那儿看着别人做，自己却不动手，你内心就会越难受，因为你什么都没做。
And the more you sit around and watch everybody else do it, the more you are gonna rot inside because you're not doing anything.
你越是用两根食指堵住耳朵，听不见别人的声音，去冒险、去做事，你的生活就越有可能充满快乐。
The more you get your two index fingers and put them in your ears and you can't hear others and you take these risks and do things, the more likely your life will be joyful.
说真的，我现在就想到一个女人，我都能看见她，你不会去做这件事，因为当你在TikTok上卖东西时，你担心送初中的女儿上学时，其他妈妈看你的眼光，因为你莫名其妙地在意她们会不会觉得你是因为缺钱才这么做，或者所有这些。
You are literally, I'm thinking about this woman right now, I could just see her, you're not gonna do this because when you go on TikTok and you sell something, you're concerned about the looks of the fellow moms when you drop off your junior high daughter because you for some reason value if they think that you're doing it because you don't have enough money or all these
或者你想当网红。
Or you're trying to be an influencer.
你被困在六年级了，我的意思是，当你们那个小团体的头头，因为你不是，走过来跟你说，嘿，梅尔，看到你那个TikTok小视频了，怎么回事？
You're stuck in sixth grade and my thing is when the alpha of your group, because you're not, comes up to you and says, hey Mel, saw your little TikTok thing like what's going on?
是不是约翰赚的钱不够拿回家？
Is John not bringing enough money home?
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