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嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
我刚刚和这个播客的执行制片人聊了聊。
So I was just talking to our executive producer for this podcast.
她叫特蕾西，她给我讲了个故事，我必须分享给你，因为我知道你一定会感同身受。
Her name is Tracy, and she told me this story that I just had to share with you because I know you're gonna relate.
前几天，她醒来了。
So the other day, she wakes up.
她这一天有宏伟的计划。
She has huge plans.
她对这一天充满期待。
She's excited for the day.
但接下来她做了什么？
But then what did she do?
她伸手去拿手机。
She reaches for her phone.
她之所以伸手去拿手机，其实有个很好的理由。
Now, the reason she reached for the phone, it's a really good reason.
她说她只是想跟上当前发生的各种新闻。
She said she's just trying to stay informed with all the news that's going on right now.
好吧，她确实了解了新闻，但整个人躺在床里一小时，而选择拿手机的后果却非常糟糕。
Well, she's informed all right, in bed, for an hour, but the result of that choice to reach for the phone, really bad.
你看，这个小小的举动——伸手拿手机，让她在床上浪费了一整个小时。
See, that one tiny choice to reach for the phone meant she wasted an entire hour in bed.
等她终于起床时，已经迟到了。
And by the time she got out of bed, she was running late.
因为她没时间吃早餐，感到精疲力尽，而且情绪崩溃了。
And now she's cranky because she doesn't have time to eat, she's exhausted, and she's freaking out.
她原本宏大的计划也因此被打乱了，其实她根本不需要在床上躺那么久。
And her big plans are kinda derailed because she didn't need to stay in bed that long.
停下来好好想一想，一个如此微小的选择，竟然有如此大的力量，能让你变得焦虑、迟到、暴躁、落后。
And just really stop and think about the power that one tiny choice, the power that it has to leave you stressed, late, cranky, behind.
好吧，今天我们就来聊聊这个。
Well, that's what you and I are gonna talk about today.
四个微小的选择，每天都会对你的生活产生重大影响。
Four micro choices that have a major impact on your life every day.
这四个时刻你很可能忽略了，但它们对你的情绪、状态、一整天的走向以及一切事物都有着出人意料的巨大影响。
These are four moments that you're probably missing that have a surprisingly huge impact on how you feel, on your mood, on how your day turns out, on everything.
关于这四个选择，有一件事你要知道。
And here's the thing about these four choices.
它们就摆在你面前。
They're right in front of you.
一旦你了解了关于为什么你需要重视这四个微小选择的惊人研究，你就再也不会以同样的方式对待你的一天了。
And once you hear all the amazing research about why you need to make these four micro choices and take them seriously, you will never approach your day the same way again.
嘿。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
我非常高兴你能和我在一起。
I am so excited that you're here with me.
我对这次对话感到兴奋。
I'm excited about the conversation.
能和你相聚并共度这段时光，我总是感到无比荣幸。
It's always an honor to be together and to spend this time with you.
如果你是新听众，或者因为有人分享了这一集而来到这里，我想花一点时间，亲自欢迎你加入梅·罗宾斯播客大家庭。
And if you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, well, I just wanna take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
今天，你和我要讨论四个简单的选择。
Today, you and I are gonna talk about four simple choices.
我指的是那些微小的瞬间，它们每天都会在你的生活中产生意想不到的巨大影响。
I'm talking the smallest micro moments that make a surprisingly huge difference every single day in your life.
这就是我想谈论这个话题的原因。
And here's why I wanted to talk about this topic.
我们的执行制片人是一位了不起的人，名叫特蕾西。
So our executive producer is this phenomenal human being named Tracy.
她是我认识的最聪明的人之一。
She is one of the smartest people I know.
我们已经做了九年的朋友。
We have been friends for nine years.
这就是我们共事的时间。
That's how long we've worked together.
前几天她来上班时，向我坦白说，那天她本来有很多宏伟的计划。
Now she came into work the other day, and she admitted to me that the other day she had all these big plans.
但她没有一醒来就立刻开始一天，而是穿着睡衣在床上躺了一个小时，用手机看新闻，结果毁了她的一天。
And instead of just rolling out of bed and jumping into her day, she spent an hour in bed in her pajamas reading the news on her phone, and it ruined her day.
这让我开始思考：在你的一天中，是否还有其他关键的转折点，要么让你走向成功，要么让你感觉一败涂地？
So it got me thinking, are there other critical tipping points in your day that either set you up to win or make you feel like you're losing?
在你每天的生活中，是否还有其他微小的岔路口？
Are there other tiny little forks in the road that happen in every day that you live?
这些微小的瞬间对你的影响巨大，而你却根本没意识到？
These little micro moments that have a major impact on you and you don't even realize it?
它们就在你眼前吗？
They're right in front of you?
于是我深入研究，把一天拆开分析，结果发现，是的。
So I dug in, and I pulled apart the day, and I have found, yeah.
事实上，有四个这样的时刻。
In fact, there are four of them.
有四个你我每天都会面临的微小选择。
Four of these micro choices that you and I are faced with every single day.
它们如此微妙，但影响却极其重大。
They are so subtle, yet the impact is so major.
因为一旦我带你走过这四个时刻，天啊，你会看到从今天开始让自己感觉更好是多么容易。
Because once I walk you through these four moments, holy cow, you're gonna see how easy it is to feel better in your life starting today.
我非常喜欢这些时刻，因为我觉得现在生活常常让人感觉像被一根拴在脱缰野马身上的绳子拖着跑，这太惊人了。
And I love these so much because I think right now life can kind of feel like you're being yanked around as if you're holding a rope tied to a runaway horse, and it's incredible.
当你意识到自己其实拥有选择权，当你有意识地做出更好的选择时，你会感到更加掌控生活，这真是太惊人了。
It's incredible when you notice that you do have a choice and that when you choose on purpose, when you make a better choice, that you feel more in control.
让我们开始，来深入分析第一个选择。
So let's jump in and just unpack choice number one.
第一个微小选择发生在你醒来后、甚至还没下床时，这就是那个选择。
The first micro choice happens as soon as you wake up, before you even get out of bed, and here's the choice.
你伸手去拿什么？
What do you reach for?
停下来想一想这一点。
Just stop and think about that.
你醒了，眼睛睁开了。
You wake up, your eyes open.
第一个微小选择，此时你甚至还没开始思考，这正是你没意识到这是一个选择的原因。
Micro choice number one, you're not even thinking at this point, which is why you don't realize it's a choice.
你伸手去拿什么？
What do you reach for?
你早上第一件伸手去拿的东西，要么会帮助你，要么会伤害你。
The first thing you reach for in the morning, it's either gonna help you or it's gonna hurt you.
事实上，我们不妨想象一下这个过程会怎样展开。
In fact, let's just kinda picture how this plays out.
明白吗？
Okay?
我想让你想象自己正躺在那里。
I want you to imagine that you're lying there.
你的头枕在枕头上。
Your head is on the pillow.
你的身体天啊，整个人都缠在被子里。
Your body, oh my gosh, all tangled up in the sheets.
闹钟响了。
The alarm goes off.
你的眼睛 barely 睁开。
Your eyes are barely open.
你甚至都搞不清今天是星期几。
You can't even register what day it is.
天哪。
Oh my gosh.
你眼睛里都是睡意。
You got the sleep in your eyes.
今天是星期一吗？
Is it Monday?
今天是星期二吗？
Is it Tuesday?
今天是工作日吗？
Is it a workday?
在你坐起来之前，你就伸手去拿东西。
Before you even sit up, you reach for something.
我不是预言家，
And I'm no psychic,
但我敢打赌我
but I bet I
我知道你伸手去拿什么。
know what you reach for.
你伸手去拿你的手机。
You reach for your phone.
你的手机放在床边，或者更糟的是，手机已经躺在床上了，所以那是你第一件伸手去拿的东西。
You've got the phone by your bed, or worse, the phone is already in bed with you, so that's the first thing you reach for.
你对自己说什么？
What do you tell yourself?
你对自己说的，和我以前说的一样。
You tell yourself the same thing I used to do.
好吧，我就看一分钟。
Well, I'm just gonna check this for a minute.
得去看看我的孩子。
Gotta check on my kids.
我就赶紧看一眼这个东西。
I'm just gonna check this thing real quick.
然后你打开你最爱的应用，开始刷屏，等你反应过来时，已经太晚了。
Then you open up your favorite app, and then you start scrolling, and by then it's too late.
这就像雪崩一样，一条令人震惊的新闻，接着又一条，再一条，然后是一个你根本没想看的视频，接着是满屏人互相怒骂的评论区，再然后是一个试图把悲剧变成笑料的梗，可这从来都不好笑。
It's an avalanche, a headline about something horrifying, and then another, and then another, and then a video you didn't ask to see, and then a comment section full of people screaming at one another, and then a meme that's trying to make a tragedy funny, and it's never funny.
还有别人的极端观点、愤怒帖子，以及各种阴谋论的胡言乱语。
And somebody's hot take, and somebody's rage post, and somebody's conspiracy nonsense.
在三十秒内，无论你是否意识到，这个微小的选择已经让你的神经系统彻底激活了。
And within thirty seconds, whether you know it or not, that micro choice made your nervous system just light right up.
我想先明确地说这一点。
And I wanna say this upfront.
我赞赏你希望了解世界动态的意愿。
I applaud you for wanting to be informed about the world.
这很重要。
That matters.
但你听我说。
But listen to me.
你不需要穿着睡衣获取资讯。
You do not need to be informed in your pajamas.
我对自己看新闻有个规定。
I have a rule about the news personally.
我从不穿睡衣看新闻，除非是星期天，而且我已经吃完早餐、喝完咖啡，决定好好躺在睡衣里放松，时间也过了十一点。
I never read the news in my pajamas unless it is a Sunday, and I've already made breakfast and had a cup of coffee, and I have made a decision to lounge around in my pajamas, and it's after eleven a.
M。
M.
如果我想花一个小时穿着睡衣浏览头条新闻，那没问题，梅尔。
If I wanna choose to spend an hour reading the headlines then in my pajamas, you're allowed, Mel.
但我从不在早上一醒来就穿着睡衣看新闻。
But never do I read the news in my pajamas first thing in the morning.
每天花十五分钟或一小时看新闻并不是问题。
See, reading the news for fifteen minutes or an hour every day isn't the problem.
问题在于那个微小的选择：在做任何其他事情之前，先伸手拿手机，躺在床上刷新闻，像喝咖啡或喝伏特加一样上瘾。
It's the micro choice to reach for the phone and do it in bed before you've done anything else, mainlining it, like it's your coffee or your vodka.
你最先伸手去拿的东西，那简直就是对你大脑的死刑判决，因为一旦你拿起手机，你的大脑就会立刻追求更多。
The first thing you reach for, I mean, that's a death sentence for your brain because the moment you reach for your phone, here's what your brain reaches for, more.
更多的头条新闻，更多的戏剧性，更多的恐惧，更多的愤怒。
More headlines, more drama, more fear, more outrage.
这就是为什么你很难从床上爬起来，因为你现在是在逃避那个你通过拿起手机而不断摄入的世界。
This is why it's hard for you to get out of bed because you're now hiding from the world that you're mainlining because you've reached for your phone.
更多你早上六点蜷缩在被窝里时根本无能为力的信息。
More information that you can't do anything with at 06:00 in the morning while you're curled up under your comforter.
更多，更多，更多，更多，更多，而且永远无法满足。
More, more, more, more, more, and it's never satisfied.
就在那一刻，一大早，你就已经失去了对一整天的掌控。
Just like that, first thing in the morning, you have lost control of your day.
这就是为什么我把这些微小的选择称为你一天中的转折点。
That's why I call these micro choices these tipping points in your day.
这就像你打开了家门，把整个世界请进了你的卧室，让它对你大喊大叫。
It's like you opened up the front door of your house and invited the world into your bedroom to shout things at you.
你十分钟前就该去洗澡了，现在却没时间洗了。
You should have gotten into the shower ten minutes ago, and now you don't have time to take one.
哦，你没时间带狗散步了，它一直耐心地趴在床脚盯着你。
Oh, you didn't have time to walk the dog who's been staring at you patiently from the foot of the bed.
如果你当时该起床的时候就起床了，本来是有时间吃早餐的。
Had you just gotten out of bed when you were supposed to get out of bed, you would have had time for breakfast.
算了，现在别提了。
Well, forget that now.
这就是一个微小选择如何带来重大后果的常识性解释。
This is the common sense explanation for how a micro choice can have major consequences.
我想让你直接听一位知名专家讲述，为什么早晨第一件事就选择去碰错误的东西，会对你的大脑产生重大而无意的影响。
I want you to hear directly from a renowned expert on how choosing this micro choice to reach for the wrong thing first thing in the morning has a major unintended impact on your brain.
他的名字是博士。
His name is Doctor.
阿洛克·基诺沙。
Alok Kenosha.
现在，数百万网友都称呼他为K博士
Now, he's known to millions of fans online as Doctor.
也就是“The Healthy Gamer”，不过K博士
K and The Healthy Gamer, But Doctor.
是一名接受过哈佛专业训练的精神病学家，他会专门教人们如何在这个本就会不断消耗精力的世界里，守护好自己的动力与专注力
K is a Harvard trained psychiatrist who teaches people exactly how to protect their motivation and focus in a world designed to steal it.
而当他做客这档播客节目时，K博士
Now, when he appeared on this podcast, Doctor.
K帮我厘清了一件非常重要的事，现在我希望你们也能明白这件事。
K helped me understand something really important that I now want you to understand.
顺带一提，他是我采访过的57位专家之一，我在《放任理论》中介绍了他的研究成果。
He was one of the 57 experts, by the way, that I interviewed, and I feature his work in the Let Them Theory.
接下来你们会听到相关内容，因为我希望你们能听他亲自讲讲，为什么早上醒来第一个选择去碰的东西，会对你的精神能量产生如此巨大的影响。
And what you're about to hear because I wanted you to hear from him about how this micro choice, what do you reach for first thing, has such a massive impact on your mental fuel.
接下来他会向你们解释，当你早上醒来时，你体内会存有一定量的精神能量，这些能量是你用来驱动自己行动所必需的。
See, he's gonna explain to you that when you wake up in the morning, you have a certain amount of mental fuel available to you that you need in order to motivate yourself.
你需要它来度过一整天。
You need it in order to get through your day.
这种能量，K医生会解释说，叫做多巴胺。
That fuel, doctor K is gonna explain, is called dopamine.
它是你身体动机与奖励系统的一部分，帮助你完成困难的事情，也让你在坚持完成时感到愉悦。
It's part of your body's motivation and reward system that helps you do hard things, and it also helps you feel good when you follow through.
这就是为什么它被称为动机与奖励系统。
That's why it's called the motivation reward system.
它让你去完成困难的事，并在你完成时让你感觉良好。
Makes you do hard things, helps you feel good when you do them.
现在，直到我坐下来与K医生交谈，我才意识到这一点。
Now, here's what I never realized until I sat down with Doctor.
是的。
K.
如果你一醒来，大脑里充满着这种宝贵的、能让你全天保持动力并完成困难任务的心理能量，却首先做出一个微小的选择——去拿手机这种无聊、简单又廉价的东西，那你就在还没下床之前，把一整天所需的能量消耗在了无意义的事情上。
If first thing in the morning, when your brain is full of all that amazing, juicy mental fuel that helps you do all the hard things and be motivated all day, if first thing you make this micro choice to reach for something dumb and easy and cheap like your phone, you are using up the fuel you need to get through the day on something stupid, and you're not even out of bed.
所以这就是我们播客对话里的片段，他在这段里把这一切都解释清楚了。
So here is the clip from our conversation on the podcast where he explains all of it.
大家来听听看。
Check this out.
很多人
What a lot
都没意识到，早上刚醒来的时候，你用来感知愉悦和强化行为的精力是有固定上限的。
of people don't realize is that you have a certain capacity for pleasure and behavioral reinforcement when you wake up in the morning.
我们大脑里的多巴胺能回路，就位于这个叫伏隔核的区域里。
So our dopaminergic circuitry in the brain, in this part called the nucleus accumbens.
简单来说，正是这个结构让我们产生愉悦感，同时还能强化我们的行为模式。
Basically, this is what gives us a sense of pleasure and also reinforces our behavior.
那多巴胺的问题就在于，我们早上醒来的时候，体内的多巴胺储备是满的。
So the problem with dopamine is we wake up in the morning and our dopaminergic stores are full.
也就是说，我们体内会留存一部分多巴胺的储备。
So what happens, we have a reserve of dopamine.
所以这个机制是这样的，希望你们都想想这一点。
So the way that this works is like, want you all to think about this.
假设我一早醒来，然后连续工作四小时，那么在工作四小时之后，我感受到的主观奖励是什么？
So let's say I wake up first thing in the morning, and then I work for four hours, and then what is the reward the subjective reward that I feel after four hours of work?
这感觉非常积极。
It's really positive.
是的。
Yeah.
但如果我用四小时玩科技产品，感觉就一般般。
Then if I use technology for four hours, it's kinda whatever.
但如果我在一天的前四个小时都用在科技产品上，然后再试图去工作，你就做不下去了。
But if I use technology for the first four hours of the day, and then I try to go and do work You're not going to.
你根本做不下去。
You're not going to.
即使你完成了同样多的工作，你也无法体验到同等程度的愉悦感，因为你的多巴胺已经被彻底消耗殆尽了。
And even if you finish the same amount of work, you will not experience the same level of pleasure, because your dopamine has literally been depleted.
明白了
Got
对。
it.
所以我对这种现象的描述是，想象你有一个满是果汁的柠檬。
So the way that I kinda describe this is imagine that you have a lemon that is full of juice.
是的。
Yep.
一开始，当柠檬充满果汁时，轻轻一挤就能得到很多汁液。
So at the very beginning, when it's full of juice, a small squeeze gets you a lot of juice.
但到了最后，你必须用力挤压才能得到很少的汁液。
But by the end, you have to squeeze a lot to get very little juice.
这就像我们大脑中的多巴胺一样。
This is how dopamine is in our brain.
换句话说，如果你一开始就接触科技产品，它侵入了你大脑的神经回路，那就相当于一大早就把柠檬里的大部分果汁都挤干了。
So in other words, if you tap into technology, and it invades your circuitry in your brain, It literally is like squeezing most of the juice out of the lemon first thing in the morning.
一大早
First thing in
早上。
the morning.
这意味着它还会严重影响你做事、集中注意力或感受快乐的能力，而这些事情如果先做，本会给你带来成就感和喜悦。
And then that means that it's also gonna impact your ability to do the work, or to focus, or to feel joy, and all those things that normally, if you did those things first, you'd feel a sense of reward and joy for.
是的。
Yes.
所以科技就像用力挤压。
So technology is like a hard squeeze.
如果我们一早就使用它，就会把柠檬狠狠挤压，把所有汁水都挤出来。
So if we use it first thing in the morning, we squeeze the lemon really hard, and we get all the juice out.
然后你就什么都没有了，无法再感受到快乐，因为你的多巴胺储备已经耗尽。
And then you have nothing left to feel good about because all of your dopamine stores have been depleted.
我只是太喜欢他了。
I just love him.
你不觉得基医生很棒吗？
Don't you love doctor K?
现在我在想柠檬，这其实是个好现象，因为这是一个非常生动的比喻，我希望你能从我们的对话中记住它。
And now I'm thinking about lemons, and that's a good thing because it's a great visual that I want you to take away from our conversation.
当你伸手去拿手机时，我希望你能想象并几乎感受到你正在挤压自己的大脑。
As you reach for your phone, I want you to imagine and almost feel that you're squeezing your brain.
当你把手机拉近时，我希望你能感受到柠檬被挤压、大量汁液涌出的感觉，因为你开始刷头条、刷社交媒体。
As you pull the phone close to you, I want you to feel the lemon squeeze and tons of juice coming out as you start to go headline, headline, social media.
哦，我其实不需要
Oh, I don't need
买这个，但我还是买了。
to buy that, but I'm buying it.
哦，这是
Oh, what is
这个人正在做什么？
this person doing?
我正在看评论，检查位置，现在在读工作邮件。
I'm looking at the comments, and I'm checking the locations, and now I'm reading work emails.
大脑里的汁液正在流干。
Juice draining from your brain.
这就是为什么这个微小的选择会产生如此重大的影响。
That's why this micro choice has such a major, major consequence.
我希望当你听到医生。
And I hope once you hear Doctor.
K这么讲之后，你会明白这个微小的选择——你伸手去拿什么——非常重要。
K put it that way, it will make sense to you that this micro choice, what do you reach for, matters a lot.
因为医生。
Because Doctor.
K告诉你，如果你的第一个微小选择是拿起手机，那你一早就开始了强力挤压、不停滑动、不停滑动、不断释放、不断释放多巴胺的过程。
K is telling you if your first micro choice is reaching for your phone, you just started the morning with a hard squeeze, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, dumping, dumping, dumping, dopamine.
去吧。
Go.
今天就这样结束了。
It's gone for the day.
正是这个微小的选择，导致了你一整天都感觉：无论你多么努力想榨干自己、从一天中挤出更多时间、强迫自己集中注意力，无论你喝了多少咖啡、多么尽力，就是提不起动力。
And that one micro choice is why the rest of the day feels like as much as you try, as much as you're trying to wring out of yourself and squeeze out of your day and force yourself to focus and as much caffeine as you can possibly drink and as much as you're doing your best, you just can't pull the motivation.
这就是你感到疲惫的原因。
That's why you're flat.
这就是你容易烦躁的原因。
That's why you're irritable.
就是那个该死的早晨第一选择——你伸手去拿的东西，以及它对你多巴胺的强烈刺激。
That damn micro choice first thing in the morning and what you reach for and the fact that it was a hard squeeze on your dopamine.
一旦你意识到，天啊，问题就在于早晨第一件事是伸手拿手机、刷信息，哦天哪，这正在耗尽你的多巴胺，你就不会再这么做了，因为你终于明白，这其实是一个选择，你可以做出不同的选择。
And once you realize, holy cow, that it's that first micro choice of reaching for the phone and reading, oh my god, that's draining the dopamine, you won't reach for it anymore because you'll realize it is a choice, and you can make a different choice.
你知道吗，在家的时候，我对伸手拿什么这件事特别有意识。
You know, when I'm at home, I'm really good about what am I reaching for.
但几周前，我住在别的地方，手机就放在床边，因为充电器在那里，而浴室在走廊尽头，我不想把手机放在浴室里，又怕它响起来吵醒睡在同一条走廊上的孩子。
But if a couple weeks ago, I was staying somewhere else and I had my phone right next to the bed because that's where the charger was, and the bathroom was down the hall, and I didn't wanna put the phone in the bathroom and then have it go off and wake up the kids that were sleeping on the same hallway.
所以你猜发生了什么？
So guess what happened?
我还是伸手去拿了手机。
I reached for it.
然后你猜我做了什么？
And then guess what I did?
我开始刷Instagram。
I started scrolling on Instagram.
我几乎不好意思告诉你，但你想知道我接下来做了什么吗？
And I'm almost embarrassed to tell you this, but you wanna know what I did next?
你能猜到吗？
Can you guess?
我买了一套根本不需要的运动服。
I bought a sweatsuit that I did not need.
我的意思是，模特穿起来确实挺好看的。
I mean, it was really cute on the model.
就是那种普通的灰色运动服颜色，短款连帽衫，长裤，还有口袋。
It was, like, just plain kind of that gray sweatsuit color, cropped hoodie, long pants, pockets.
好吧。
Okay.
点击。
Click.
一站式购物。
One stop shopping.
来吧。
Here we go.
我连床都还没起呢。
I'm not even out of bed yet.
你有没有注意到，你在床上买的东西，从来都不需要？
Have you ever noticed that the things that you buy in bed, you never ever need?
那个号称能改变你补水状况和整个人生的神奇水瓶？
That miracle water bottle that's somehow gonna change your hydration and your whole life?
那个只能做迷你华夫饼的台面小工具？
The countertop gadget that only makes mini waffles?
你根本都不吃华夫饼。
You don't even eat waffles.
那个让你看起来像折叠椅的姿势矫正器。
The posture corrector that makes you look like a folding chair.
你知道为什么这些都重要吗？
And you know why all this matters?
因为你在伸手去拿的东西，不仅仅偷走了你的多巴胺、注意力、时间、精力或内心的平静。
Because what you reach for doesn't just steal your dopamine or your focus or your time or your energy or your peace of mind.
它还偷走了你的钱。
It steals your money.
如果你不选择去拿手机，那你还能拿什么？
And if you don't choose to reach for your phone, what could you reach for?
我的意思是，停下来想一想吧。
I mean, just stop and think about that.
你面临的是一个微小的选择，却会产生重大而深远的积极或消极影响。
You've got this micro choice that has a major, major impact, positive or negative.
如果你不伸手去拿手机，那你还能伸手去拿什么？
If you don't reach for your phone, what could you reach for?
天哪。
Oh my god.
这 possibilities 是无限的。
It's limitless.
你可以伸手去拥抱伴侣，享受片刻的联结。
You can reach for your partner for a moment of connection.
简单一句：早上好。
Simple, good morning.
你可以伸手去摸你的宠物。
You can reach for your pet.
我的意思是，它们一直站在床边等你呢。
I mean, they've been standing there at the bed waiting for you.
你可以起床拉开窗帘，让阳光照进来。
You could get up and reach for the curtains and let the light in.
你可以拿起外套，即使穿着睡衣也走出去。
You could reach for your coat and step outside even if you're in your pajamas.
你可以倒一杯水。
You could reach for a glass of water.
你可以拿起你的健身包、网球鞋。
You could reach for your gym bag, your tennis shoes.
你知道我今天早上拿了什么吗？
You know what I reached for this morning?
我的滑雪杖。
My ski poles.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我的滑雪杖。
My ski poles.
事实上，早上6:30的时候，我正在做这件事。
In fact, at 06:30 in the morning, this is what I was doing.
那就是我穿着滑雪板的样子，你得在下面贴上一种叫雪地皮的东西，本质上就像魔术贴。
That's me with my skis on, and you put these things called skins underneath them that are basically like Velcro.
然后我和我丈夫背着滑雪板徒步上山，爬了一个小时的本地滑雪山，接着把底部的魔术贴雪地皮撕掉，重新踩进滑雪板，然后嗖的一下就滑下去了，而且还能赶在缆车开放之前完成。
And then my husband and I hiked up the mountain, the local ski mountain, got an hour hike in with our skis, and then you peel the Velcro skins off the bottoms, you stomp back into your skis, and then boom, you ski down, and you get to do it before the lifts even open.
我们请了好几位专家来谈论多巴胺，他们说，如果你能去追求一些有点困难的事情，对你来说可能是冥想，可能是散步，可能是像我这样爬山，也可能只是去健身房。
We've had a bunch of other experts come on and talk about dopamine, and they say, If you can reach for something that is kinda difficult, maybe for you that's meditation, maybe that's taking a walk, maybe it's climbing a mountain like I did, maybe it's just getting to the gym.
我的意思是，锻炼最难的部分其实是去健身房。
I mean, that's the hardest part of the workout is actually getting to the gym.
当你用最初的那股劲头去做一件有点难的事时，令人惊讶的是，你会用这份多巴胺来激励自己一早就做困难的事。
When you use that first squeeze to do something that's kinda hard, what's amazing is the fact that you use that dopamine to motivate you to do something hard first thing in the morning.
这实际上会让你一整天都感觉更好。
That actually makes you feel better all day long.
这个科学原理太棒了。
The science is incredible.
所以第一个选择，你选择做什么？
So choice number one, what do you reach for?
如果你什么都不改，请至少改变这个选择，因为这一个微小的决定、这一个瞬间，能带来惊人的巨大改变。
If you change nothing else, please change that choice because that one micro choice, that one tiny moment makes a surprisingly huge difference.
它能为你铺就一个美好的一天，一个你配得上的日子。
It sets you up to have a good day, a day you deserve to have.
接下来是第二个微小选择，我会在短暂的广告后告诉你它是什么——因为我选择为我们的优秀赞助商发声，正是他们让你能免费收听梅尔·罗宾斯的播客，所以请认真听听。
And that brings me to micro choice number two, and I'm gonna tell you what that is after this short break because I am choosing to shine a little light on our amazing sponsors because they bring you the Mel Robbins podcast for free, so take a listen.
我还想提醒你一件事，这四个微小选择存在于每个人的生活中。
And one other thing I wanna remind you, these four micro choices are in everybody's life.
所以，在你听广告的时候，请花点时间把这一集分享到你的家庭群聊里。
So take a moment while you listen to our sponsors and share this episode in your family group chat.
把它分享给你的朋友、成年子女，分享给你的伴侣。
Share this with your friends, with your adult kids, share this with your partner.
因为当我逐一讲解这四个选择时，你会震惊地发现，掌控生活、夺回一天主动权的能力，其实一直就在你我眼前。
Because as I go through each of these four choices, you are going to be blown away that the ability to take control of your life, to regain power in your day has been right in front of you and me all along.
别走开，因为我们回来后马上进入第二个微选择。
And don't go anywhere because when we come back, we're jumping right into micro choice number two.
请继续听下去。
Stay with me.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
很高兴你在这里。
I'm so thrilled that you're here.
谢谢你来到这里。
Thank you for being here.
谢谢你把这期节目分享给你关心的人。
Thank you for sharing this episode with people that you care about.
我非常兴奋，马上进入第二个选择。
I'm so excited to jump right into choice number two.
我们正在讨论四个看似微小却具有惊人巨大影响的选择。
We are talking about four micro choices that have a surprisingly huge impact.
它们能极大改变你的一天，当你意识到这些选择时，就会获得力量去做出更好的决定。
They make a major difference in your day, and when you see them, it empowers you to start making better choices.
当然，我们已经讲过了第一个选择：你伸手去拿什么？
And, of course, we've already done choice number one, what do you reach for?
而第二个微选择是：今天是好日子还是坏日子？
And micro choice number two, good day or bad day.
你打算选哪一个？
What are you gonna have?
你是要过好日子，还是要过坏日子？
Are you gonna have a good day or you gonna have a bad day?
其实就这么简单，因为如果你没有主动选择前者，那你就是在选择后者。
It's really that simple because if you're not choosing one, you're choosing the other.
你对自己讲述的故事，就会成为你真实度过的一天。我想先谈谈选择过坏日子意味着什么，因为我觉得这常常在不知不觉中就发生了。
The story you tell yourself becomes the day you have, and I wanna start with what it means to make this micro choice to have a bad day because I think it happens without even thinking about it.
意思是，没人早上醒来会想：‘哦，我知道我今天要干嘛了？’
Mean, nobody wakes up and is like, oh, you know what I'm gonna do today?
我要过个糟糕的一天。
I'm gonna have a terrible day.
我觉得我要把我的生活搞砸了。
I think I'm gonna screw up my life.
一切都会出问题。
Everything's gonna go wrong.
我们并不会有意识地这么做，但潜意识里，你已经选择相信今天会很糟，为糟糕的一天做好准备，而你甚至没意识到自己正在这么做。
We don't consciously do that, but subconsciously, you're making a choice to believe it's gonna be a bad day, to brace for a bad day, and you don't even realize that you're doing it.
这就是为什么你可能会陷入生活的泥潭，接连经历糟糕的日子、几周甚至几个月，却根本不知道原因。
And that's why you can get into a rut in your life where you just have a string of bad days or weeks or months, and you don't even understand why.
所以，我们来聊聊这是怎么发生的。
So let's talk about how this happens.
好吗？
Okay?
我将剖析一下典型的早晨，以及这种选择相信今天会很糟糕的微小决定是如何不断恶化的。
And I'm gonna unpack the typical morning and how this micro choice of choosing to believe that it's gonna be a bad day snowballs.
当我从常识的角度解释清楚这一点后，我会引入一些来自斯坦福神经科学家的惊人研究，他们研究了心态对你的生理、生物学乃至你生活的方方面面产生的影响，这绝对会让你大吃一惊。
And once I explain this from a common sense standpoint, I'm gonna bring in some incredible research from a Stanford neuroscientist who studies the impact of mindset on your biology, your physiology, on basically every aspect of your life is gonna blow your mind.
不过，我们先从典型的早晨说起。
So let's start, though, with just the typical morning.
你并没有意识到自己正在选择过糟糕的一天，因为你知道，你只是醒来了。
Like, you don't realize you're making a choice to have a bad day because, you know, you just wake up.
你伸手去拿手机，但直到此刻，你才明白这个微小的选择正在制造严重的问题，而你确实这么做了。
You've reached for your phone because until this moment, you didn't understand that that was a micro choice that is creating major problems, but you did it.
没关系。
It's okay.
但现在你已经感受到了，因为你刷了新闻，或者在床上刷了一百个短视频。
But now you're feeling it because you've mainlined the news or you've looked at a 100 reels in bed.
你一边刷手机一边虚度光阴，直到最后抬起头，天啊。
You're scrolling your life away on the phone, and then you finally look up and, oh my god.
哦，等等。
Oh, wait.
已经八点了？
It's already 08:00?
微小的选择。
Micro choice.
巨大的后果。
Major consequence.
现在，这一天开始脱轨了。
Now here's where the day goes off the reels.
不是因为你迟到了，而是因为你选择开始对自己说什么。
Not because you're late, but because of what you choose to start telling yourself.
天哪。
Oh my god.
事情会很糟，因为我迟到了。
Things are gonna be terrible because I'm late.
你从床上跳起来，第一个念头是：我迟到了。
You jump out of bed, the first thought is I'm behind.
我浪费了这么多时间。
I wasted so much time.
天哪。
Oh my god.
这太糟了。
That's so bad.
然后你开始责备自己。
And then you start beating yourself up.
现在你不仅仅是迟到了。
Now you're not just late.
你还对自己很生气。
You're pissed off at yourself.
然后你看到狗只是坐在那里等着你关注，一股愧疚感袭来，心里想：天哪。
Then you see the dog just sitting there waiting for some attention, and you get hit with that stab of guilt, and the thought is, oh my god.
我是世界上最差劲的狗主人。
I am the worst dog owner in the world.
这只狗值得拥有比我们更好的对待。
This dog deserves so much better than us.
现在每个想法都是坏的，坏的，坏的，坏的。
And now every thought is bad, bad, bad, bad.
就这样，你成功说服了你的大脑。
And just like that, you have convinced your brain.
你今天会过得很糟。
You're gonna have a bad day.
现在你的大脑呢？
And now your brain?
哦，它就像说，好吧。
Oh, it's like, okay.
我们今天要过得很糟。
We're having a bad day.
好吧。
Alright.
我知道该怎么做。
I know what to do.
让我找找今天会是糟糕一天的迹象。
Let me look for signs that things are gonna be a bad day.
上班路上，你遇到了堵车。
On the way to work, you hit traffic.
于是你心想，当然了。
And the thought is, oh, of course.
当然会堵车，现在你紧握方向盘，仿佛在搏斗。
Of course, there's traffic, and now you're gripping the wheel like you're in a fight.
然后办公室里有人说，嘿。
Then someone in the office says, hey.
你有空吗？
Do you have a second?
身体紧绷。
Body tightens.
你的大脑在想：不。
Your brain goes, no.
不。
No.
不。
No.
我没时间。
I do not have a second.
我快淹没了。
I'm drowning.
我做不到。
I can't do this.
天啊。
Oh my god.
现在你生我的气了。
Now now you're mad at me.
你终于说，好吧。
And you finally say, sure.
但内心深处，你快要崩溃了。
But inside, you're dying.
这就是这个微小选择的特别之处。
That's the thing about this micro choice.
糟糕。
Bad.
今天会是糟糕的一天。
It's gonna be a bad day.
我没能振作起来，真是糟糕。
I'm bad for not getting it together.
这个微小选择不仅仅是一个念头。
This micro choice isn't just one thought.
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它会变成另一个、另一个、另一个，最终形成一种过滤机制。
It becomes another, another, another, and creates a filter.
一种你看待一切事物的滤镜，让一切都变得更为艰难。
A filter through which you see everything and everything feels harder.
你掉了一样东西，哦，这就是证据，今天真是糟糕的一天。
You drop something, oh, there's proof, it's a bad day.
你没完成那件事，哦，这就是证据，你是个糟糕的员工。
You didn't get that thing done, oh, there's proof, you're a bad employee.
有人用异样的眼光看你，或者在会议上没回应你的话，哦，这就是证据。
Someone looks at you wrong or, like, doesn't respond to something that you said in a meeting, oh, there's proof.
你很糟糕。
You're bad.
你很愚蠢。
You're stupid.
你为什么要这么说？
Why'd you say that?
你孩子上学需要的东西，你忘了买。
Your kid needs something for school that you forgot to buy.
这就是证据。
There's proof.
不合格的父母。
Bad parent.
我是那个什么都搞不定的家长。
I'm the one parent who can't get it together.
你的大脑现在正在积累证据。
And your brain is now stacking evidence.
每一件微不足道的小事，都是更多证据。
Every tiny, small thing, more evidence.
看吧，我就知道。
See, I knew it.
我赢不了。
I can't win.
我永远也搞不懂这件事。
I'm never gonna figure this out.
天哪。
Oh my god.
这么多，对吧？
That's a lot, isn't it?
这会变成你大脑中的一个设定。
It becomes a setting in your brain.
但好消息是，我马上要引入一些惊人的科学发现。
But here's the good news, because I'm about to bring in some incredible science.
如果这是你大脑中的一个设定，毕竟，心态不过是大脑中的各种设定。
If it's a setting in your minds, because after all, mindset is just settings in your mind.
如果你能设定你的大脑，让它认为今天会很糟糕，而且你意识到微小选择的力量，那么难道不是可以推断，你也能通过另一个微小选择来改变大脑中的设定吗？
If you can set your mind to it's gonna be a bad day, and you're aware of the power of a micro choice, then doesn't it stand to reason that you could change the settings in your mind with a different micro choice?
一个积极的微小选择，会像雪球一样产生正面效应，积累出你有能力、能度过这一天、充满正能量和良好意图的证据。
A good micro choice that snowballs in a positive way, that builds evidence that you're capable, that you're gonna make it through the day, that you got good energy, you got good intentions.
所以我想向你们介绍一位非凡的人物。
And so I wanna introduce you to somebody extraordinary.
她的名字是博士。
Her name is Doctor.
阿里亚·克鲁姆。
Aliyah Crum.
她是斯坦福大学的教授，负责斯坦福身心实验室。
She's a professor at Stanford University, and she runs the Stanford Mind and Body Lab.
他们的实验室通过科学证据证实了：你可以学会运用心灵的力量，来获得成功、更健康、拥有更好的态度、不同的情绪、更多的乐观与韧性。
This is what they've established in her lab with scientific proof that you can learn how to use the power of your mind to be successful, to be healthier, to have a better attitude, to be in a different mood, to have, more optimism and resilience.
当她做客我们的播客时，我问她：克鲁姆博士，心态真的重要吗？
And when she appeared on our podcast, you know, I asked her, doctor Crump, do mindsets really matter?
在你们即将听到的这段音频中，她将挑战你们。
And in this clip that you're about to hear, she's gonna challenge you.
你们会听到她向你们提出一些问题。
You're gonna hear her ask you some questions.
你对工作的看法会影响你对工作的感受吗？
Does how you think about your job change how you feel about your job?
你对健康的看法会影响你的健康吗？
Does how you think about your health change your health?
你如何真正运用思维的力量，帮助自己创造更好的生活，或改变一天的心情？
How can you really use the power of your mind to help you create a better life or to change the way your day feels?
所以，我想让你听一听克鲁姆博士的说法。
So I want you to take a listen to doctor Crum.
这是她做客《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》时的节选。
This is an excerpt from her appearance here on the Mel Robbins podcast.
我们在实验室所做的工作，是研究与健康相关的思维模式。
The work that we
哦。
do in our lab is looking at mindsets about things related to our health.
嗯。
Oh.
以压力为例。
So take stress.
嗯。
Uh-huh.
你相信压力会夺走你的生命，还是会让你变得更强大？
Do you believe that stress is going to kill you, or is it going to make you stronger?
你对健康饮食有什么看法？
What's your belief about healthy food?
你认为健康食品是难吃又令人压抑的选择，还是认为健康食品其实是一种享受且美味的选择？
Do you believe healthy foods are the disgusting and depriving option, or do you believe healthy foods are actually indulgent and delicious?
那癌症呢？
What about cancer?
你认为癌症是彻头彻尾的灾难，还是认为癌症是可以控制的？
Do you believe that cancer is a unmitigated catastrophe, or might cancer be manageable?
它甚至可能成为让你生活发生积极改变的机会吗？
Might it even be an opportunity to make positive changes in your lives?
所以这些心态，梅尔，它们不是对或错的。
So these these mindsets, Mel, they're not true or false.
它们也不是正确或错误的。
They're not right or wrong.
它们是对这些事物本质的过度简化且极具评价性的判断。
They're oversimplified, highly evaluative judgments about the nature of these things.
但它们在塑造我们的生活中至关重要。
But they matter in shaping our lives.
事实上，它们通过设计而非某种魔法，创造了我们的现实。
In fact, they create our realities, and they create our realities not through some kind of magic, but by design.
所以我们的心态改变了我们关注的内容。
So our mindsets change what we pay attention to.
如果你相信世界是危险的，你会在世界上看到更多的危险。
If you believe the world is dangerous, you're gonna see more danger in the world.
我们的心态改变了我们感受和预期感受情绪的方式。
Our mindsets change how we feel and expect to feel emotionally.
我们的心态会改变我们做事的动机，以及我们在现实世界中实际参与和行为的方式。
Our mindsets change what we're motivated to do and how we actually engage and behave in the world.
我们的研究表明，心态也会改变我们的身体。
And what our work has shown is that our mindsets also change our bodies.
它们会影响我们的身体在生理上如何为不同事物做准备和做出反应。
They change how our bodies physiologically prepare and respond to different things.
我
I
我觉得克鲁姆医生的研究非常迷人。
just find doctor Crum's work to be so fascinating.
我手边就有这段文字记录，我想确保准确复述，因为我想把她刚才说的话和我们正在讨论的第二个微选择联系起来。
And I have the transcript right in front of me, and I wanna make sure that I repeat this accurately because I wanna pull in what she just said to what we're talking about with this second micro choice.
你相信今天会是美好的一天，还是认为会是糟糕的一天？
Do you believe it's gonna be a good day or do you believe it's gonna be a bad day?
基于我们刚才讨论的第二个微选择，今天会是美好的一天，还是会是糟糕的一天？
And due to what we're talking about with micro choice number two, is it gonna be a good day or is it gonna be a bad day?
你对今天会是好日子还是坏日子的心态和信念，真的有影响吗？
And does your mindset and belief about what kind of day it's gonna be, does it actually matter?
而克鲁姆医生的
And what Doctor.
研究证明，她刚刚告诉我们，我们的心态会改变我们感受和预期情绪的方式。
Crum's work proves, she just said it to us, is that our mindsets change how we feel and expect to feel emotionally.
我们的心态会改变我们想要做什么，以及我们如何实际参与和行为处事。
Our mindsets change what we are motivated to do and how we actually engage and behave in the world.
而这一点变得非常有趣。
And this is where it gets really interesting.
选择过好一天，还是选择说今天会是坏日子，这种微小的选择会从根本上改变你的身体如何为一天的其余时间做生理准备和反应。
The micro choice of having a good day versus the micro choice of saying it's gonna be a bad day changes how your body physiologically prepares and responds to the rest of the day by design.
那这意味着什么？
So what does that mean?
这意味着这些不仅仅是话语。
It means these aren't just words.
这些是设定，能带来巨大差异的设定。
These are settings, settings that make a huge difference.
当你即使在潜意识中开始接受并想‘今天会是糟糕的一天’时，仅仅做出这个微小的选择，医生。
And when you even just subconsciously start to embrace and go, today's gonna be a bad day, simply by making that micro choice, Doctor.
克鲁姆的研究已经证明，这会影响你的身体为一整天所做的生理准备。
Crum's research has proven that it can change how your body physically prepares for the day itself.
把克鲁姆医生引入这个讨论中特别酷的地方在于，她通过自己实验室的开创性研究确立了这一点。
And what's really cool about bringing doctor Crum into this is that she's established this with research, pioneering research in her lab.
但我也以朋友的身份想对你说：我认为凭常识你也能知道这是真的。
But I'm also gonna appeal to you as your friend and say, I think you know this is true based on common sense.
既然我现在意识到了这一点，那就让我做出不同的选择。
And so now that I see it and I'm aware of it, let me make a different choice.
而这就是我想让你做出的选择。
And here's the choice I want you to make.
今天会是美好的一天，因为我会让好事发生。
Today is gonna be a good day because I'm gonna make something good happen.
是的
Yep.
有很多令人压力重重的事情正在发生。
There's a lot of stressful things going on.
是的
Yep.
我老板人挺差的，心情也不好。
My boss is kind of a dick and was in a bad mood.
是的
Yep.
我有个大项目要处理。
I got a big job.
是的
Yep.
总有些事情是我控制不了的，但今天会是美好的一天。
There's always something out of my control, but today is going to be a good day.
我怎么知道？
How do I know?
因为我打算保持积极的态度。
Because I'm gonna bring a good attitude.
我会充满正能量。
I'm gonna have good energy.
我会设立良好的界限，不会让那些蠢事消耗我。
I'm gonna have good boundaries, I'm not gonna let the stupid stuff drain me.
今天会是美好的一天，因为我打算让好事发生。
Today is gonna be a good day because I'm gonna make something good happen.
你感觉到这种感觉有什么不同吗？
Do you see how different that feels?
让我明确一下。
And let me be clear.
当你在这一刻有意识地做出选择时，你选择的就是积极的一面。
When you intentionally choose in this micro moment, you choose good.
这并不意味着你是在自欺欺人。
That doesn't mean you're delusional.
这并不意味着你假装生活不艰难、新闻不可怕、收件箱不是一团糟。
It doesn't mean you're pretending that life isn't hard or the news isn't terrifying or that your inbox isn't a dumpster fire.
选择积极就像从工具箱里拿取一件工具。
Choosing good is like reaching for a tool in your toolbox.
你明白心态对你身体、压力和应对能力的影响。
You understand the power of your mindset on your body, on your stress, on your ability to respond.
这意味着你有意识地调整内心的设定，以便无论面对多么糟糕的局面，你都能感觉好一点。
It means you're deciding on purpose how to set these settings in your mind so that you feel a little better regardless of the dumpster fire that's in front of you.
无论有没有理由，无论发生什么，为了创造美好、保持积极能量或寻找美好而选择拥有美好的一天，这是一件非常有力的事。
Choosing to have a good day for no reason or in spite of what's happening or to make something good happen or to just have good energy or to look for the good, that is a powerful thing to do.
今天会是美好的一天，因为我将会寻找一些美好的事物。
Today's gonna be a good day because I'm gonna look for something good.
我会带来美好。
I'm gonna bring the good.
我会保持积极的态度。
I'm gonna have a good attitude.
我会把工作做好。
I'm gonna be doing a good job.
我会善待他人。
I'm gonna be good to other people.
我会心情愉快，因为这能帮助到其他人。
I'm gonna be in a good mood because it helps everybody else.
我的意思是，现在你就像在选择消极，却根本没意识到。
I mean, right now, it's like you're choosing bad and you don't even realize it.
你都是下意识这么做的。
You do it by default.
你完全可以无缘无故地心情不好。
It's like you can be in a bad mood for no reason.
这意味着你也可以无缘无故地心情愉快。
That means you can be in a good mood for no reason.
现在可能是下午五点。
It could be 05:00 in the afternoon.
你可以说，这一天的前半段很糟，但剩下的时间会是美好的一天，因为我会让它变得美好。
It could say, you know, the first part of the day sucked, but the rest of the day is gonna be a good day because I'm gonna make it a good day.
我会专注于保持积极的态度。
I'm gonna focus on having a good attitude.
我会做些好事。
I'm gonna do something good.
我会做个好朋友。
I'm gonna be a good friend.
我会去发现那些美好的事物。
I'm gonna, you know, find the good.
我会让自己保持好心情。
I'm going to make myself be in a good mood.
今晚我会花半小时做一件总是能让我感觉良好的事情。
I'm gonna do something for half an hour tonight that always, you know, makes me feel good.
你可以拉动这个杠杆。
You can pull this lever.
你随时都可以做出这个微小的选择。
You can make this micro choice at any time.
关于第二个选择，最后再提一点。
And one last note on choice number two.
今天会是美好的一天，还是糟糕的一天？
Is it gonna be a good day or a bad day?
它之所以如此重要，是因为这是事实。
And why it matters so much is that it's true.
很多事情正在发生。
There's a lot going on.
新闻头条上充满了糟糕的消息。
There's a lot of bad things in the headlines.
现在工作中有许多令人压力重重的事情，感到焦虑或担忧是非常合理的。
There's a lot of stressful things going on at work right now, and there's very valid reasons to be stressed or worried.
但你内心的设定很重要，因为它们不会改变你所看到的世界中的问题。
But the settings in your mind matter because they're not gonna change the problems that you see in the world.
它们也不会改变你生活中可能面临的困境。
They're not gonna change the problems that you may be facing in your life.
你内心的设定改变的是你自己。
The settings in your mind change you.
它们帮助你面对这些问题。
They help you face the problems.
它们帮助你度过这一天。
They help you get through the day.
它们通过提醒你哪些事情在你的掌控之中来帮助你——你的时间、你的精力、你的情绪、你关注的内容。
They help you by reminding you that there are things in your control, your time, your energy, your mood, what you focus on.
当你选择关注积极的一面，当你选择关注你的精力、做些好事、带着好心情去工作时，这会改变你应对生活中各种状况的方式。
And when you choose to focus on the good, when you choose to focus on your energy, on doing something good, on bringing a good mood to work, that changes how you are able to face the things that are going on in your life.
我非常喜欢这场对话。
I love this conversation so much.
我真想继续聊下去，但我得按个暂停键，因为我想向我们非凡的赞助商致谢。
I wanna just keep on talking, but I need to hit the pause button because I wanna shine the light on our extraordinary sponsors.
在你聆听赞助商内容的同时，花点时间，选择把这分享给你在乎的人。
And while you take a listen to our sponsors, take a minute, make the choice to share this with people that you care about.
我已经把这分享给了我们的团队。
I've shared this with our team.
每个人都在经历巨大的积极变化。
Everybody is experiencing so much positive change.
这真是太了不起了。
It's it's extraordinary.
我也希望你在乎的人能感受到这一切。
And I want the people that you care about to feel it too.
继续跟我在一起。
Stay with me.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
这是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your friend Mel Robbins.
今天，我和你聊聊每天都会出现的四个非常微小的微选择。
Today, you and I are talking about four very small micro choices that are there every single day.
你很可能忽略了它们。
You're probably missing them.
这些微选择会产生重大影响。
These are micro choices that have major impact.
当你开始做出不同的选择时，你就会明白它如何为你的人生带来巨大的积极改变。
And when you start to make a different choice, you're learning how it can have a huge positive difference in your life.
那么，让我们直接继续。
So let's just jump right back in.
现在，让我们谈谈第三个悄然在幕后操控你生活的微选择。
Now, let's talk about the third micro choice that is quietly in the background running your life.
第三个微选择是什么？
What is micro choice number three?
你来决定。
You decide.
加油还是耗尽？
Fuel or fumes?
你看，这个微小选择很容易在不知不觉中做出。
See, this micro choice is so easy to make without even thinking about it.
这就是问题所在：你是打算用耗尽的状态度过一天，还是用充满能量的状态度过一天？
And here it is, are you gonna run your day on fumes or are you gonna run your day with fuel?
换句话说，你是打算空着油箱运行，还是满油箱运行？
In other words, are you gonna run on empty or are gonna run on full?
因为不管怎样，你都有一个油箱，而且你一定会继续前行。
Because either way, you got a tank of gas and you're gonna be running.
你有很多重要而重大的事情要做。
You have got a lot of big and important things to do.
我了解你。
I know you.
当然了，你懂的。
Of course you do.
你到处奔波忙碌。
You're running around all over the place.
所以问题来了，你是带着空油箱在做这些事，还是在为完成所有任务给自己加油呢？
So the question is, are you doing it with your tank on empty or are you fueling yourself for everything you need to get done?
作为你的朋友，我希望你能诚实面对，因为很多人在这里都在欺骗自己。
And I want you to be honest as your friend because this is where a lot of people are lying to themselves.
我以前也是这样。
I used to be one of them.
你知道吗，我成长的那个年代，小时候总有人跟我说，早餐是一天中最重要的一餐。
You know, I grew up in the generation where they always used to say when I was little, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
但上了大学后，我听到了完全不同的说法。
But then I go to college and I got a different message.
你得保持瘦，所以该开始节食、跳过正餐、空腹锻炼，再用咖啡因来补水。
You gotta be skinny, so it's time to start starving yourself and skipping meals and exercising on an empty stomach and hydrating with caffeine.
然后我就纳闷，为什么我总是焦虑、脾气暴躁、压力这么大。
And then I wonder why I have anxiety, and I'm constantly bitchy and stressed out.
我能听到你说，梅尔，我知道我需要更好地补充能量，但我真的没时间。
And I can hear you saying, Mel, you know, I know I need to have better fuel, but I owe I don't I don't have time.
我早上实在太忙了。
I I it's so busy in the morning.
我没时间。
I don't have time.
好吧。
Okay.
那你一定会喜欢这个，因为我不会要求你变成另一个人。
Well, then you're gonna love this because I'm not gonna ask you to become a new person.
我不会要求你彻底改变饮食、追踪宏量营养素、买一台搅拌机，或者加入什么健康教派。
I'm not gonna ask you to overhaul your diet, track macros, buy a blender, join some wellness cult.
我们在这里要做的不是这些。
That's not what we're doing here.
选择非常简单。
The choice is very simple.
你是在滋养自己，还是在饿着自己？
Are you feeding yourself or are you starving yourself?
我明白。
I get it.
你迟到了。
You're late.
你拿起了手机。
You grabbed your phone.
你就是这样做的。
You did this.
你没有
You didn't
那样做。
do that.
你本不必这样的。
You didn't have to.
但接着
But then
你是不是纳闷自己为什么这么易怒？
you wonder why you're irritable?
你是不是纳闷自己为什么无法集中注意力？
You wonder why you can't focus?
为什么一切都感觉这么艰难？
Why everything feels hard?
为什么你会对喜欢的人发脾气？
Why you're snapping at people you like?
为什么你会感到焦虑？
Why you feel anxious?
为什么工作中那些微不足道的小事都会让你火冒三丈？
Why the littlest things at work just piss you off?
这个选择——我是靠残余能量硬撑，还是靠充足能量前行——会影响你一整天的状态，而它从你醒来那一刻就开始了。
This choice, am I running on fumes or am I running on fuel, affects your entire day, and it starts when you wake up.
所以，当我准备和你进行这次对话时，我做了一大堆研究，我的朋友、医生妮可·拉帕拉，她在网络上被称为‘整体心理学家’，她非常出色。
So, as I was getting ready to have this conversation with you, I was doing a bunch of research, and my friend, doctor Nicole LaPara, who goes by The Holistic Psychologist online, she's extraordinary.
她非常聪明。
She's brilliant.
她是一位《纽约时报》畅销书作者。
She's a New York Times bestselling author.
数以千万计的人关注她，因为她能拆解各种心理学和研究成果，并教你如何应用它们来疗愈和改善生活的各个方面。
Tens of millions of people follow her because she breaks down all kinds of psychology and research and teaches you how you can apply it to heal and improve aspects of your life.
那是一篇关于早上第一件事吃蛋白质重要性的帖子。
And it was a post about the importance of eating protein first thing in the morning.
她基本上解释说，在你醒来后的前半小时里，你的皮质醇水平是最高的。
She basically explained that in the first thirty minutes of the day when you wake up, your cortisol levels are the highest.
皮质醇就是人们所说的压力激素，但它在早晨最高，因为可以说，它的作用本就是帮助你启动一天。
Now cortisol is that they call it the stress hormone, but it's highest in the morning because, arguably, it's supposed to help you get going.
对吧？
Right?
咱们开始吧。
Like, let's get going.
所以在一天的头三十分钟，当你皮质醇水平最高时，你可能会情绪暴躁、易怒、不安，却还不知道原因。
So for the third first thirty minutes of the day when your cortisol levels are the highest, you may be grumpy and irritable and upset, and you don't even know why.
然后她说，早上一醒来就吃蛋白质是非常重要的，这有助于你调节情绪。
And then she says that eating protein first thing in the morning is a very important thing to do to help you regulate your emotion.
在评论中，她进一步解释说，这是因为调节血糖水平能直接帮助你调节情绪。
And in the caption, she went on to describe that it's important because regulating your blood sugar directly helps you regulate your emotions.
这在我的生活中带来了巨大的转变。
And this has been a huge shift in my life.
我的意思是，如果你最近一直在听这个播客，你应该知道健康是我最重要的目标。
I mean, if you've been listening to the podcast recently, you know that health is my number one goal.
特别是，我听过了这个播客中所有来自医学、营养学和科学领域的专家，他们来自各个学科，都在强调蛋白质的极端重要性。
And in particular, I've listened to all the medical and nutritional and scientific experts that have come on this podcast in every single possible discipline who have all been talking to us about the critical nature of protein.
蛋白质有助于专注，蛋白质有助于肌肉，蛋白质有助于能量，蛋白质有助于生命。
Protein for focus, protein for muscles, protein for energy, protein for life.
我以前从来不是个重视早餐的人，但我已经开始强迫自己改变习惯，遵循专家的建议，认真对待早晨的第一餐。
I was never a big breakfast person, and I have started to force myself to change my own habits and follow this expert advice and really take fueling myself first thing in the morning seriously.
你是会腾出时间好好吃顿早餐，还是冲出家门，只在背包里翻出半根吃剩的格兰诺拉麦片棒，把背包底那层沙土拍掉，硬吞下去？
Are you going to make time to fuel yourself, or are gonna fly out the door and just dig around in your backpack and eat that half eaten granola bar, you know, dust all the the sandy stuff in the bottom of your backpack off it and choke it down?
还是你打算用一大杯咖啡和十五包糖来掩盖本该有食物的空洞——也就是你的胃？
Or are you gonna try to cover up that giant hole where your food should be, namely your stomach with a big cup of coffee and 15 sugar packets in it?
如果你觉得我在夸大其词，我真想分享一位我极其敬佩的人的智慧。
And if you think I'm exaggerating, I really wanna share some wisdom from somebody that I absolutely love.
他的名字是卡尔·皮勒默教授。
His name is Professor Karl Pillemer.
他是康奈尔大学的教授。
He is a professor at Cornell.
他提出了我最喜爱的研究成果之一。
He is behind one of my favorite bodies of research.
我们在这个播客里讨论过这个话题。
We've talked about it on this podcast.
它叫做《遗产计划》。
It's called The Legacy Project.
现在，教授。
Now, Doctor.
皮勒默博士多年来收集了八九十岁乃至百岁老人最宝贵的人生建议和智慧，我一直在自己的工作中引用他的研究，因此当他同意上我的播客时，我感到非常兴奋。
Pillimer has spent years compiling the best life advice and wisdom from people in their eighties, nineties, and one hundreds, and I have been citing his research for a long time in my work, so I was so thrilled when he agreed to come on the podcast.
他同时也是一名临床心理学家，但我特别欣赏他这项持续了二十二年的研究——采访生命即将走到尽头的人，好让你们和我能够从这些即将离世的人身上学到如何过好一生的智慧。
Now he's also in clinical practice as a psychologist, but I just love that he has this research study for twenty two years interviewing people near the end of their lives so that you and I can learn the wisdom about how you live a good life from people whose lives are almost over.
他把研究中的受访者称为长者，接下来你要听到的，就是来自《遗产计划》的我最喜爱的一条建议。
He refers to the people in his study as the elders, and what you're about to hear is one of my favorite pieces of advice that come from the Legacy Project, specifically.
如果你感到烦躁、易怒、状态不对，还把情绪发泄在你关心的人身上，你会怎么做？
What do you do if you're feeling irritable, cranky, not like yourself, and now you're taking it out on the people that you care about?
我就是。
Guilty.
我的意思是，承认吧。
I mean, admit it.
你明明把最好的一面给了外人，却把最差的一面留给了最亲近的人。
You literally give the best people the worst of you.
你把脾气暴躁归咎于工作压力、疲惫和饥饿，觉得因此在厨房里对家人吼叫或哭泣是情有可原的。
You blame work stress and the fact that you're tired and hungry for why you just scream cried at somebody in your kitchen that you're related to.
我特别欣赏皮利默医生的一点是，我希望你能好好体会一下，这种智慧和洞见恰恰关乎这种微小的选择。
What I love about doctor Pillimer, and I really want you to just sit with this, is this wisdom and insight that relates to this micro choice.
你是靠残存的精力在硬撑，还是在充满能量地前行？
Are you running on fumes, or are you running on fuel?
这是基于二十年研究得出的结论。
That comes from two decades of research.
以下是皮利默医生在《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》中说的：
Here's what Doctor.
皮利默医生在梅尔·罗宾斯播客中谈到的内容。
Pillimer had to say on the Mel Robbins podcast.
如果你经常发生严重的争吵，你会发现争吵中存在某种模式。
If you're having a lot of serious arguments, you find there's a pattern to arguments.
与其接受治疗，不如吃个三明治可能更有效。
Rather than therapy, the cure might be a sandwich.
因为我和妻子在旅行时常常忘记吃饭，那时我们争吵的焦点——比如谁选了糟糕的酒店，或者为什么我们到的时候博物馆已经关门了——会变得异常激烈，直到我们意识到自己饿了。
Because my wife and I, though, would be traveling and we'd forget to eat, and our argument like who chose the bad hotel or why we got there after the museum closed would be unbelievably intense until we realized that we were hungry.
这方面的研究很充分，梅尔，研究表明你饿的时候不应该吵架。
And there's good research on this, Mel, showing that you should not argue when you're hungry.
所以，长辈们曾给出过一个小建议，其中一个教训是：如果你陷入一场难以解决的争吵，先吃点东西，看看会发生什么。
And so one of the things the elders said, like one of their little lessons, is if you're having an intractable argument, get something to eat and see what happens.
我喜欢这个建议。
I love that advice.
我正在意识到一件事。
And here's what I'm realizing.
我嘴巴微张，因为我在消化你刚才说的话。
My mouth is kind of open because I'm now processing what you're saying.
我丈夫和孩子们都会这样对我，因为我一旦投入到手头的事情里就会完全忘我。
My husband and my kids do that with me because I will get so lost in what I'm doing.
然后下一秒，我就因为一些特别愚蠢的事情和人争执，而我就是那个不讲理的人。
And then next thing you know, I'm bickering about something just so stupid, and I'm the I'm the jerk.
对吧？
Right?
我家里人会问我：你上一次吃饭是什么时候？
And somebody in my family will go, when's the last time you ate?
果不其然，已经是五六个小时前了。
And sure enough, five or six hours ago.
如果你正在经历一场糟糕的争吵，不妨试试喝杯茶、吃块饼干。
Try it out, a cup of tea and a biscuit if you're having a terrible argument.
这就是他们的一个关键观点。
So that was one of their key points.
正因如此，这个第三个微小选择才如此有力，你可以在一天中的任何时刻做出它。
And that's why this third micro choice is so powerful, and you can make it at any single point in the day.
我希望你正在获得自我觉察，意识到你所选择的事物所蕴含的力量。
I'm hoping that you're gaining the self awareness that you recognize the power of what do you reach for?
今天会是美好的一天，我会靠什么能量前行呢？
Today's gonna be a good day, and am I gonna run on fuel?
这三个选择加在一起，天啊，它们会彻底改变你的状态，不是吗？
Those three choices together, holy cow, they set you up differently, don't they?
因为当你油尽灯枯时，你有没有注意到，那些看似巨大的情绪问题会变得如此压倒性？
Because when you're running on fumes have you ever noticed that what can feel like an massive emotional problem, it's so overwhelming?
这种压倒感是因为你正处在一个身体和大脑都处于空转、耗尽状态的人类之中。
It's overwhelming because you are in a human body and brain running on empty, on fumes.
这就是为什么你觉得自己无法应对这一切。
That's why you feel like you can't handle this.
这也是为什么，即使你只是深吸一口气，喝上一碗热腾腾的鸡汤，它也不会让问题消失。
And it's also why if you just take an exhale and you get a great bowl of chicken soup, no, it doesn't erase the problem.
但当你补充了能量，你往往就能拥有不同的视角。
But with some fuel, you often have a different perspective.
有了能量，你会重新充满活力。
With some fuel, you have renewed energy.
你有过多少次这样的经历：突然意识到自己在想，天啊，我为什么这么凶残？
How many times have you had a day where you catch yourself and you think, oh my god, why am I being such a monster?
为什么今天工作中所有事都让我这么生气？
Why is everything pissing me off at work today?
为什么我今天不像自己了？
Why am I not myself today?
然后你才意识到，你已经六个小时没吃东西了。
And then you realize you haven't eaten anything in six hours.
你正被迫应对一个耗尽能量的身体和大脑，那么关键启示是什么？
You're stuck dealing with a depleted body and mind, and so what is the takeaway?
别再假装在油尽灯枯时还能撑得住。
Stop pretending you're fine running on fumes.
这不会让你变瘦，只会让你更焦虑、更易怒。
This isn't making you skinny, it's making you anxious and irritable.
一天早期，尤其是早晨，选择一种燃料，特别是蛋白质。
One fuel choice early in the day, especially in the morning, especially protein.
如果你进行间歇性禁食，那很好。
If you're somebody who does intermittent fasting, great.
也许这对你有效。
Maybe that works for you.
但问题仍然是一样的。
But the question is still the same.
当你结束禁食时，你给自己补充的是什么？
When you do break the fast, what are you fueling yourself with?
你是选择能让你稳定、有力量、充满活力的东西，还是...
Are you choosing something that stabilizes you and empowers you and energizes you?
你选择的是能带来快速血糖飙升、大量碳水化合物、大量糖分、各种垃圾食品，然后导致崩溃，让你依然感到空虚的东西？
Or are you choosing something that gives you a quick spike, tons of carbs, tons of sugar, all kinds of junk, then crash, leaves you still feeling empty?
如果你觉得自己在强撑，我建议你听从医生的建议。
If you feel like you're running on fumes, I want you to take advice from Doctor.
皮利默和二十年来研究八九十岁乃至百岁人群所积累的智慧。
Pillimer and all the wisdom from twenty years of studying people in their eighties, nineties, and one hundreds.
先吃点东西，然后看看会发生什么。
Just get something to eat and then see what happens.
这是一个微小却影响重大的选择，而且你随时都可以施加这个杠杆。
That's the micro choice that has a major impact, and it's a lever you can pull at any time.
你不觉得这很棒吗？
Don't you love this?
我非常喜欢这个话题。
I love this topic so much.
我在深入研究这个话题、认真思考的过程中感到非常愉快，它真的让我感到无比有力量。
I had so much fun digging into this and really thinking about it, and it's been crazy empowering.
这让我想到第四个微小选择，它有着出人意料的巨大影响，每天都能带来显著改变，那就是：刷手机还是睡觉。
And that brings me to the fourth micro choice that has a surprisingly huge impact and makes a huge difference every single day, and that choice is scroll or sleep.
因为一天结束时，总会有那么一个微小的时刻。
Because at the end of the day, there's this one tiny moment.
我们都有。
We all have it.
你每天晚上都有，我也是，这个选择决定了明天的感觉，就发生在你终于有片刻属于自己的时候。
You have it every night, so do I, that decides how tomorrow is gonna feel, and it happens right when you finally have a second to yourself.
天哪。
Oh my god.
放松的机会一直都属于别人。
The holdo has been for everybody else.
天哪。
Oh my god.
工作、上学。
Work, school.
天哪。
Oh my god.
照顾每个人。
Taking care of everybody.
你已经收拾完晚餐的残局了。
You're done with the dinner cleanup.
孩子们都睡了。
Kids are in bed.
狗也喂过了。
The dogs have been fed.
碗碟也洗好了。
You've done the dishes.
你终于忙完了。
You're done.
你终于不用再为别人做事了。
You're done doing things for other people.
然后你看看钟，心想，好吧。
And then you look at the clock and you think, okay.
我真的该去睡觉了。
I really should go to bed.
但你没有，因为每天结束时，眼前都摆着一个选择。
But you don't because there is a choice sitting right there in front of you at the end of every day.
天哪。
Oh my god.
微小的选择就在那里。
The micro choice is right there.
你是要刷手机，还是要睡觉？
Are you going to scroll, or are you going to sleep?
你知道我以前怎么说吗？
And you know what I used to say?
当这一刻来临时，会发生什么，因为每晚你都会经历这样的时刻，我也是。
Here's what would happen when this moment hit because you have this moment every night, so do I.
每个人都会。
Everybody does.
我们一生中都会经历这样的时刻。
We're gonna have this moment for the rest of our lives.
好吗？
Okay?
你知道在我发现这四个微小选择之前，我常说什么吗？
You know what I used to say before I figured out these four micro choices?
这是我以前常说的话。
Here's what I used to say.
我以前会说，你知道的，我该去睡觉了。
I used to say, you know, I should go to bed.
我该直接去睡觉了。
I should just go to bed.
我我我该，我该连手机都别碰。
I I I should I should not even pick up the phone.
我该直接去睡觉了。
I should just go to bed.
我想让你注意一件事，因为你也对自己这么说。
And I want you to notice something because that's what you say to yourself too.
对吧？
Right?
你正坐在沙发上。
You're sitting on the couch.
你已经看完了电视。
You're done watching TV.
你准备去关掉电视。
You go to turn TV off.
你心想：天啊。
You're like, god.
我真的该去睡觉了。
I really should go to bed.
你正伸手去拿手机，或者手机已经拿在手里了。
And you're reaching for your phone or you already have your phone in your hand.
但请注意，当你对自己说‘我该去睡觉了’的时候。
But notice when you say, I should go to bed.
这根本不是在做选择。
That's not making a choice.
当你说到‘我应该去睡觉’的时候，你是在让自己变得不对。
When you say, I I should go to bed, you're making yourself wrong.
当你每晚都在那一刻停顿下来，拥有这个瞬间时，你可以给自己一个选择。
When you stop in that moment every single night, you have this moment, and instead, you give yourself a choice.
梅尔，你是想选择刷手机，还是想睡觉？
Mel, do you wanna choose to scroll or do you wanna go to sleep?
你并没有让自己变得不对。
You're not making yourself wrong.
你正在赋予自己做选择的力量。
You are empowering yourself to make a choice.
‘哦，我应该去睡觉’和……
There's a huge difference between, oh, I should go to bed.
我应该把手机放下。
I should put the phone down.
而不是说：我可以刷手机，也可以去睡觉。
Versus, well, I can either scroll or I can go to sleep.
我该选哪个？
What do I choose?
我丈夫对这一点已经完全想明白了。
My My husband has this one all figured out.
每天晚上都像时钟一样准时，到八点四十五分，最晚九点，他要么已经睡着了，错过了我们一起在沙发上追的剧的一半，要么就说：好吧。
Like, it every single night like clockwork, it gets to be 08:45, 09:00 tops, and he's either already asleep and has missed half of the episode that we've been watching together on the couch or he's like, okay.
他正起身呢。
He's pushing you know, he's getting up.
我没事。
I'm okay.
该睡觉了。
It's time to go to bed.
然后就是我了。
Then there's me.
就是这一刻。
That's the moment.
就是那个瞬间。
That's the moment right there.
就是那个微小的时刻。
That's the micro moment.
你知道我做什么吗？
And you know what I do?
在意识到这个微小选择之前，我根本不会有规律地行动，只是会伸手去拿手机。
I literally, without clockwork, before I figured this micro choice out, I would just reach for the phone.
然后我会对自己说，我会跟克里斯说，我就再看一眼。
And then I'd tell myself, I'd say to Chris, you know, I just gotta check one more thing.
然后那件事就会花掉我四十五分钟。
And then that thing takes forty five minutes.
等我在手机上待了四十五分钟后，你猜怎么着？
And then after I've been on the phone for forty five minutes, guess what?
我一点都不累了。
I'm not even tired anymore.
所以现在我又像傻瓜一样多熬一两个小时。
So now I'm up for another hour or two like an idiot.
他九点上床的时候我还很累，但现在我刷了四十五分钟的手机，反而不困了。
I was tired at 09:00 when he was going to bed, but now that I've been scrolling on the stupid phone for forty five minutes, now I'm up.
所以现在我觉得我又有了一个多小时属于自己的时间。
So now I'm like I got another hour of me.
我要跟你说实话，因为我真的试着在晚上拆解过这个时刻，这个微小的选择。
And there's I'm gonna be honest with you because I've really tried to, like, take apart this moment at night, this micro choice.
我是刷手机，还是去睡觉？
Do I scroll?
我是刷手机，还是去睡觉？
Do I go to bed?
我不知道你有没有过这种感觉。
And I'm wondering if you feel this way too.
当克里斯去睡觉时，我拿起手机，那种感觉特别明显。
There's this feeling as Chris is going off to bed and I pick up my phone.
我几乎觉得有点叛逆。
I almost feel a little rebellious.
我有点调皮。
I feel a little naughty.
你懂我的意思吗？
You know what I mean?
这种感觉就像我上大学时偷偷抽烟一样。
It's the same feeling that I had in college when I would smoke a cigarette.
你知道的，你点上一支烟。
You know, you light up a cigarette.
这简直像是对全世界竖中指。
It's kinda like a giant FU to the world.
你心里想着：我真是个酷哥。
You're like, I'm a badass.
我对自己做出的决定负责。
I'm in charge of my decisions.
当你晚上拿起手机时，你会有一种叛逆的感觉：我掌控着自己的时间，所以我决定刷那些现在根本不需要知道的信息，让自己感到不安、压力山大，对世界的状态感到恐慌。
And when you pick up your phone at night, there is this rebel thing that you feel like, I'm in control of my time, so I'm gonna use it to scroll past all this stuff I don't need to know right now and make myself feel insecure and stressed out and freaked out about the state of the world.
但管他呢，我选择这么做，因为一整天我都得应对你们这些职场白痴。
But damn it, I'm choosing to do this because all day long, I had to react to you dumbasses at work.
所以现在我要像一个酷到爆的人一样，坐在这里，深夜刷手机，让大脑彻底放空。
And so now I'm gonna sit here like the badass that I am and brain rot while I scroll on my phone late into the night.
你知道吗，这几乎就像那个瞬间。
You know, it's it's almost like that moment right there.
这是一天中第一次，你真正拥有自己的生活，你从别人那里夺回了时间，熬夜不睡——研究者称之为‘报复性睡前拖延’。
It's like it's the first time all day that your life is yours, and you're stealing the time back from everybody else, and you stay up, researchers have labeled this revenge bedtime procrastination.
你是在报复一整天偷走你时间的每一个人，于是你推迟睡觉，试图在那些感觉不属于自己的日子里，心理上重新夺回一些自由。
You're getting revenge on everybody all day long who stole your time, and then you delay sleep to, like, psychologically reclaim some freedom after a day that didn't feel like it was your day.
但这种微小选择的问题在于。
But here's the problem with this micro choice.
我理解，因为我已经这样做了很久。
I get it because I've spent a long time doing this.
一开始只是花一点时间，但很快就失控了，然后变成了睡前例行程序，甚至成了入睡前的必需环节。
What starts out as a little bit of time gets out of control, and then it becomes part of your bedtime routine, and then you need it as the precursor to going to bed.
这并不放松。
It's not relaxing.
当你坐在那里想着再看五分钟时，你的神经系统会说：天哪。
As you're sitting there going just five more minutes, your nervous system is like, oh my god.
天哪。
Oh my god.
我的天。
My god.
我们根本没有平稳降落。
We're not landing the plane.
我们又起飞了。
We're taking off again.
我们为什么要再次飞起来？
Why are we going back up in the air?
我以为我们正在降落，准备上床睡觉了。
I thought we were coming in for a landing, and we were about to go to bed.
到底发生什么事了？
What the hell is going on?
然后你就陷进去了。
And then you're in it.
接着你就陷进去了。
Then you're in it.
就像早上一样。
Just like in the morning.
就像早上一样。
Just like in the morning.
你醒来的第一件事就是伸手去拿手机，等你反应过来，已经过去了三十分钟，所有那些把你拉进去、带你坠入深渊的东西：让你心头一紧的头条新闻、让你无法忘却的视频、让你对人性丧失信心的评论区、一场你根本没参与却让你气得发疯的无端争吵——而这些争吵的参与者中，有三分之一是机器人，他们却在晚上十一点争论着一些毫无意义的事。
The first thing you reach for, next thing you know, it's thirty minutes, and it's all the same stuff that pulls you in and brings you down that rabbit hole, the headline that punches you in the chest, the video that you can't unsee, the comment section that makes you lose face in in humanity, a random argument that you didn't even join, but now you're pissed off about what these total idiot strangers, a third of which are bots, are arguing about at 11:00 at night.
当你晚上这样做时，你是在告诉你的大脑：嘿。
When you do that at night, you're telling your brain, hey.
嘿。
Hey.
保持警觉。
Stay alert.
继续扫描。
Keep scanning.
不要关闭电源。
Don't power down.
我们现在不能睡觉。
We can't sleep now.
这就是你感到精疲力尽的原因。
That's why you're exhausted.
这就是你难以入睡的原因。
That's why you're having trouble falling asleep.
这就是为什么这件事如此重要。
Here's why this matters so much.
不仅仅是你失去了一个小时的睡眠。
It's not just that you lose an hour of sleep.
而是你明天醒来时会感觉落后了。
It's that you're waking up tomorrow feeling behind.
让我告诉你一项由博士研究员安·玛丽·张博士主导的研究，当时她在波士顿的布里格姆妇女医院工作，那里正是《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》的录制地，同时她也与哈佛医学院合作，这项研究发表在《美国国家科学院院刊》上。
Let me tell you about this study that was led by PhD researcher, doctor Ann Marie Chang, while she was at Brigham and Women's Hospital, which is in Boston, right where the Mel Robbins podcast is recorded, and Harvard Medical School, and it was published in PNAS.
他们的研究发现，睡前使用发光设备——比如你的手机——会延迟你的生物钟，并抑制褪黑激素的分泌。
Their research found that reading on a light emitting device right before bed, I e, your phone, delays your internal body clock, and it suppresses melatonin.
这是一种帮助大脑进入睡眠状态的激素。
That's the hormone that helps your brain shift into sleep.
所以，对你我这样的普通人来说，这意味着：放下手机。
So the translation for a normal person like you and me is put the phone down.
睡觉，别刷手机。
Sleep, not scroll.
你的手机并不是在帮你放松。
Your phone isn't, quote, helping you relax.
你的手机是在告诉你的大脑：准备起飞。
Your phone is telling your brain, time for takeoff.
我们现在不是要降落。
We're not landing right now.
现在还有一个更重要的理由，说明为什么这个微小的选择如此重要——你要选择睡觉，而不是刷手机。
Now there's one more reason why this micro choice is so important that you start choosing to sleep instead of choosing to scroll.
我之前一直在谈在沙发上刷手机的选择，因为那就是我陷入陷阱的地方。
Now I've been talking about choosing to scroll while you're still on the couch because that's where I was falling into the trap.
我已经改掉了躺在床上时伸手拿手机、把手机放在床上的习惯，而且我甚至不知道接下来要与你分享的、来自西北大学心理学家理查德·布茨恩的研究。
I've broken my habits around reaching for the phone in the bed and having my phone in the bed, and I was not even aware of the research that I'm about to share with you from a psychologist, Richard Bootsen, at Northwestern University.
但这项研究专门探讨的是，当这个微小的选择——是睡觉还是刷手机——不是发生在沙发上时，会发生什么。
But this is research specifically about what happens when this micro choice, am I gonna go to sleep or am I gonna scroll, is not happening on the couch.
而是你实际上在床上做这件事，而这可能才是你更常做的地方。
But you're actually doing this in bed, which is probably more likely where you're doing it.
我懂。
And I get it.
我懂。
I get it.
嗯，我只是觉得这样能让我放松。
Well, I just you know, it just relaxes me.
所以我钻进被窝，就刷一些吓人的新闻头条和一堆短视频，看一些我根本不需要买的东西，盯着别人的生活，幻想自己也能过上那样的日子。
So I climb into bed and I just, you know, watch terrifying headlines and a bunch of reels, and I look at things that I don't need to buy, and I, stare at people's lives that I wish I was leaving.
我还看名人，读所有那些刻薄的评论。
And I look at celebrities, and I read all the snarky comments.
这真的特别放松，所以我才这么做。
It's just very relaxing, so that's what I do.
我非得这么做不可。
I need to do that.
别这样了。
Stop it.
别这样。
Stop it.
别这样。
Stop it.
你听听这项研究。
Wait till you hear this research.
你的床必须远离手机，因为你的床本应帮助你的大脑建立睡眠的条件反射。
Your bed needs to be phone free because your bed is supposed to train your brain to sleep.
你得停止把床变成让大脑习惯清醒和兴奋的地方。
You have to stop turning your bed into a place where your brain is trained to be awake and wired.
我的意思是，这很有道理。
I mean, this makes sense.
对吧？
Right?
如果你真正从宏观角度看，这个想法其实很简单。
If you really kinda zoom out, the idea is simple.
你卧室里的床上所有东西都应该像叮叮叮叮一样提醒你。
Everything about your bed in your bedroom should be like, ding, ding, ding, ding.
让我们平稳着陆。
Let's land the plane.
该睡觉了。
It's time for sleep.
不是排队。
Not queuing.
好的。
Okay.
拿起
Pick up
手机走一走。
the phone and stroll.
或者压力、新闻、工作、购物或家庭纷争。
Or stress or news or work or shopping or family drama.
你的大脑是一个关联机器。
Your brain is an association machine.
它在寻找模式。
It's looking for patterns.
所以，如果你把床变成办公室、新闻室或商场，你的大脑就会停止将床与睡眠联系起来。
So if you turn your bed into an office or a newsroom or a mall, your brain is going to stop connecting bed with sleep.
如果你是那种养成了必须用手机、必须刷屏才能入睡习惯的人，那么当你半夜因为上厕所而起床，再回到床上时，你下意识伸手去拿的东西是什么，这大概并不让你意外。
And if you're the kind of person that's developed a habit of needing your phone and needing scrolling to fall asleep, then it probably doesn't surprise you that if you get up in the middle of the night because you have to go to the bathroom and you come back to bed, what are you reaching for?
手机。
The phone.
因为你已经训练自己相信，必须刷屏才能入睡。
Because you have trained yourself to believe that you need scrolling in order to fall asleep.
微小的选择是：我选择刷屏，还是选择睡觉？
The micro choice is, do I choose to scroll or do I choose to sleep?
这和我整个对话中一直在解释的一样。
And it's the same thing I've been explaining this entire conversation.
一个微小的选择，却有着巨大而深远的影响，可能是正面的，也可能是负面的。
One tiny choice that has huge, huge consequences to it, positive or negative.
以下是你可以做的事情。
And here's what you can do.
这就是我所说的，在你上床前，你需要把手机也‘上床’，美国睡眠学会建议你在睡觉前三十分钟就把手机收起来。
This is what I call before you tuck yourself in, you need to tuck your phone in, and the American Academy of Sleep wants you to tuck your phone in thirty minutes before you're gonna go to sleep.
我认为，这是你可以做到的一件事。
That's, I think, something you can do.
这意味着，这个微小的选择需要在你上床前三十分钟就做出。
And so that means this micro choice needs to happen thirty minutes before you wanna climb into bed.
选择去睡觉，而不是刷手机。
Choose to go to sleep instead of scrolling.
在这三十分钟里，你打算做什么？
What are you gonna do in those thirty minutes?
你可以做任何事情。
You could do anything.
当你的手机在充电时，趁机洗脸。
While your phone is charging by your wash your face.
为第二天早上准备好衣服。
Lay out your clothes for the morning.
洗个澡。
Take a shower.
你知道我做什么吗？
Oh, you know what I do?
我泡个澡。
I take a bath.
我泡个热水澡。
I take a hot bath.
我往水里倒些硫酸镁盐。
I pour in the Epsom salts.
我坐在那里。
I sit there.
读一本书。
Read a book.
听一本让你放松的有声书。
Listen to an audiobook that relaxes you.
伸展两分钟。
Stretch for two minutes.
整理床铺，让你的日常仪式感觉很酷。
Make your bed and your routine feel like something cool.
这会让大脑将它与睡眠联系起来。
It starts associating it with sleep.
你可以点一支蜡烛。
You could light a candle.
你可以把枕头拍松。
You could fluff the pillows.
你可以把灯光调暗一点。
You could turn the lights down a little bit.
你可以开始建立一个你绝对喜欢的睡前仪式，因为当你开始做出选择时，你就开始尊重自己。
You could start creating a bedtime ritual that you absolutely love because when you start to make a choice, you start respecting yourself.
当你选择去睡觉时，你不仅会醒来时更有精力，还会拥有更多应对全天的能力。
And when you choose to sleep, you don't just wake up with more energy, you wake up with more capacity to get through the day.
这正是今天整个对话的核心。
And that's the entire point of the conversation today.
你无法控制外面发生的一切，但你可以做出这四个微小的决定，帮助你重新掌握主动权。
You can't control everything that's happening out there, but you can make these four micro decisions that help you take control.
你可以停止在这些微小的时刻里随意放弃你的时间、精力和内心的平静，而其中一个时刻就是你的睡前时光。
You can stop handing your time and your energy and your peace away in these tiny moments, and one of those moments is your bedtime.
如果你不信任自己，那就设个闹钟。
And if you don't trust yourself, set an alarm.
在你需要上床前半小时设个闹钟，当闹钟响起时，就意味着我跟这个世界说再见了。
Set an alarm for thirty minutes before you need to go to bed, and when it goes off, it means I'm done talking to the world.
我不再允许任何事情进入我的大脑。
I'm done allowing things into my brain.
不再看新闻头条，不再回邮件，不再打电子游戏。
No more headlines, no more emails, no more video games.
如果你想让这件事变得特别简单，就做最简单、最有效的事。
And if you want this to be really easy, do the simplest, most effective thing.
睡觉时，把手机放在离床远一点的地方。
Put your phone, when you tuck it in, somewhere far away from your bed.
我的手机总是放在浴室或衣橱里。
Mine is always in my bathroom or in my closet.
那里有两个充电器。
It's where I have two chargers.
这意味着闹钟响的时候，我必须起床去关掉它。
That means when the alarm goes off, I have to get up out of bed and go turn it off.
等我回到床上时，我已经足够清醒，不会再伸手去拿手机了。
And by the time I get to my bed, I'm awake enough that I'm not reaching for it.
我只是关掉闹钟。
I just turn off the alarm.
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