生命中最重要的东西（纪念法官弗兰克·卡普里奥）

我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎来到《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》。今年早些时候，弗兰克·卡弗里奥法官走进了我们在波士顿市中心的工作室。我无比激动。几十年来我一直敬仰他。我知道他是个特别的人，也预感到这将是我在播客中经历过的最鼓舞人心的对话之一。

It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast. Earlier this year, Judge Frank Cafrio walked into our studios here in Downtown Boston. I was so excited. I have admired him for decades. I knew he was someone special and I knew this was going to be one of the most inspiring conversations I had had on this podcast.

或许你还不了解他——弗兰克·卡普里奥法官被誉为美国最仁慈的法官，他毕生践行慈悲之道，成为拥有数百万粉丝的 viral 现象级人物。但直到亲眼见到他，我才真正明白卡普里奥法官的非凡之处。他深谙生命中最重要之事，无论是通过电视还是网络，他每天都在向世界传递这个真理。因此我怀着沉重的心情告诉大家，在与胰腺癌进行了漫长而勇敢的抗争后，卡普里奥法官已与世长辞。

In case you don't know him, Judge Frank Caprio was known as America's nicest judge, and he built a life on compassion and became a viral sensation with millions of fans. But it wasn't until I met him in person that I realized just how truly special Judge Caprio really was. See, he knew what matters most in life. And every day, whether he was on television or he was online, he shared it with the world. That's why it's with a heavy heart that I share with you that Judge Caprio has passed away after a long and courageous battle with pancreatic cancer.

今年六月他参与本播客录制时，完成了人生最后一次深度访谈。无数听众来信表示，这是你们在本播客乃至所有平台听过最难忘的对话。而这场对话几乎未能成真——就在录制前几天，卡普里奥法官还躺在医院里，连他的家人都无法确定他能否挺过来。

He appeared on this podcast in June for what would be his last in-depth interview. So many of you reached out to tell me it was your favorite conversation that you've ever listened to on this podcast or anywhere else. And it almost didn't happen. See, just a few days before the recording, judge Caprio had been in the hospital. His family, they weren't even sure he was going to make it.

但正如他人生中多次展现的奇迹那样，他再次让所有人惊叹地康复了。即便面对常人难以想象的病痛，他依然保持着善良、幽默、温暖、体贴、谦逊，并慷慨地付出时间。换句话说，他始终是他自己。他说早已预知自己的死亡方式，却以令其成为全球数百万人爱戴的明星的那种尊严与优雅面对。他分享的关于如何过好一生及生命终极意义的智慧，是每个人都需要聆听的课程——这些课程是他在生命终点前特意留给人间的礼物。

But like he had done so many times in life, he surprised everyone and he rallied. And even though he was facing something that most people can't even imagine, he was kind, funny, warm, thoughtful, humble, and generous with his time. In other words, he was himself. He said he knew how he was gonna die, and he handled that knowledge with the same dignity and grace that made him a beloved star to millions of people around the world. The lessons he shared about how to live a good life and what's really important in the end are lessons everyone needs to hear and lessons that he shared as he knew that he was near the end of his life.

今天，作为致敬，请你们聆听这位传奇本人的声音。他是我永生难忘的人。如果你是第一次认识他，你即将经历同样难忘的相遇。我保证，与独一无二的弗兰克·卡普里奥法官共处的时光，不仅能振奋你的心灵，更会唤醒你对生命真谛的认知。嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，非常高兴你在这里。

So today, as a tribute, I want you to listen to the man himself. He is someone I will never forget. And if this is your first time meeting him, you're in for something unforgettable too. I promise you, the time you spend with the one and only Judge Frank Caprio will not only lift you up, it will remind you of what truly matters in your life. Hey, it's your friend Mel, and I'm so excited that you're here.

能与你共度时光始终是我的荣幸。无论你是新听众，还是因他人分享而来到这里的，欢迎加入《梅尔·罗宾斯播客》大家庭。本期节目是为纪念我见过最善良、最鼓舞人心的人之一——一位深谙生命真谛的智者，弗兰克·卡普里奥法官。近四十年来，他始终自豪地担任罗德岛普罗维登斯市法院法官。

It's always an honor to spend time and to be together with you. If you're new, or you're here because somebody shared this episode with you, welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast family. Today's episode is in memory of one of the kindest and inspiring people I've ever met, someone who knew what really matters in life. His name was Judge Frank Caprio. For nearly forty years, Judge Caprio proudly served as a municipal court judge in Providence, Rhode Island.

但这位88岁因胰腺癌离世的卡普里奥法官，远不止是位裁判者。他对法庭上的当事人怀有当今世所罕见的悲悯之心。这种独特的处事方式让他拥有了真人秀节目《普罗维登斯现场》，该节目先是在地方台播出，后通过全国联播持续二十年，获得四项艾美奖提名。卡普里奥法官的仁慈片段在全球获得数十亿次病毒式传播。

But Judge Caprio, who recently passed away at 88 years old from pancreatic cancer, was so much more than a judge. He had compassion for the people who appeared in his courtroom, compassion that you don't see a lot in today's world. His unusual approach landed him a reality TV series, Caught in Providence. The show ran for twenty years, first on local television and then in national syndication, earning four Emmy nominations. Clips of Judge Caprio's kindness have gone off the chart viral, billions of views from people all over the world.

今年初，他出版了自传《慈悲：美国最仁慈法官的人生变革故事》。但名声从未改变他——他始终是那个在联邦山长大的谦逊男孩，作为意大利移民送奶工的儿子，他是家族第一个大学生，先后获得普罗维登斯学院学士学位和萨福克大学法学院法学学位。

Earlier this year, he published a beautiful book about his life called Compassion in the Life Changing Stories from America's Nicest Judge. But fame? It never changed him. He was always the same humble guy who grew up on Federal Hill, the son of an Italian immigrant who was a milkman. He was the first in his family to graduate from college, earning a bachelor's degree from Providence College and later a law degree from Suffolk University Law School.

他当过律师，做过市议员，最终在法官职位上找到人生使命。退休后，他面临胰腺癌的残酷诊断，但这未能阻止他在数月前做客本播客。事实上当他与儿子们走进来时，他儿子悄悄告诉我：'我父亲上周末还在住院，但他对护士说「我有件重要的事必须完成，必须离开这里」'——他真的是'逃'出医院来与我们相见的。

He worked as a lawyer, served as a city counselor, and later found his true calling as a judge. In retirement, he faced a new challenge, a devastating pancreatic cancer diagnosis. But that didn't stop him from visiting the podcast just a few months ago. In fact, when he and his sons walked in here, his son pulled me aside and said, you know, my dad was in the hospital this weekend. And he told those nurses, hey, I got something really important I need to do.

他专程前来分享八十八载人生沉淀的无价智慧，想让你们明白生命中最重要之事。能再次呈现这期节目，让各位从了不起的弗兰克·卡普里奥法官身上学习，是我无上的荣幸。

I gotta get out of here. He literally broke out of the hospital so he could be here with you and me. He came here to share with you the priceless wisdom he'd learned in his 88. He wanted you to know what matters most in life. It is my absolute honor to share this episode once again so you can learn from the incredible Judge Frank Caprio.

听着，请将这份感悟分享给你所爱之人，因为我希望从今往后，你能让他留下的爱与善意遗产激励你的生活方式。首先，我必须说，卡普里奥法官，您的到来让我无比激动。能与您会面是我的荣幸，阁下。

Listen, share this with people that you love, because my hope is that you'll let his legacy of love and kindness inspire how you live from this day forward. First of all, I gotta say, I am so excited, Judge Caprio, that you are here. It is an honor to meet you, your honor.

您自己也享有相当不错的名声呢。

Well, you have a pretty good reputation yourself.

这话真是太过奖了，尤其是出自像您这样德高望重之人口中。

Well, that's a very, very kind thing to say, especially coming from somebody who's as respected as you are.

谢谢...嗯，谢谢您。

Thank Well, thank you.

我想这样开始我们的对话。卡普里奥法官，您已88岁高龄，在社交媒体拥有数百万粉丝。我们许多人通过电视节目认识了您——二十五年来您被誉为'美国最仁慈的法官'。四十年法官生涯与八十八载人生岁月让您领悟了哪些生命真谛？

You know, here's how I want to start. Judge Caprio, you are 88 years old. You have millions of followers on social media. So many of us were introduced to you because you were on television for twenty five years and became known as America's nicest judge. What has forty years on the bench and eighty eight years on this planet taught you about life?

帮助他人。托举他人，特别是那些不幸者、残障人士、贫困者和饥馑之人。这并不需要大动作，有时只需展现善意，将手搭在他们肩头，告诉他们你相信他们。若有什么我能帮上忙的，请务必告知。

Help other people. Lift other people, particularly the unfortunate, the disabled, those in need, the hungry. It doesn't take much. Sometimes it's just a matter of being nice and putting your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you believe in them. And if there's anything I could ever do to help you, like let me know.

这对我们而言根本不算负担，对他们却如同移山。关键是要让他们感受到被关怀。付出不总是物质上的，更是自我的给予。我常说要用手轻拍他人肩膀，告诉他们你爱他们、相信他们——尤其是你的孩子、亲密伙伴，以及那些陷入绝望、经历危机的人们。

It's not a heavy lift at all for us. For them, it's like lifting a mountain. But just letting them know that you care. It's not always giving, it's just giving of yourself. I always make the reference of put your hand on someone's shoulder, tell them you love them, tell them you believe in them, particularly your children and close associates and people who are in despair, who are going through crisis.

只需让他们知道你关心，这份心意至关重要。

Just let them know that you care, that you care. It's very so important.

这正是我特别敬佩您的地方。无论是作为法官还是普通人，您总会考量每个人的故事。令人惊叹的是，88岁高龄的您虽已退休，却成为真实的社交媒体现象，更始终保持着'美国最仁慈法官'的美誉。

You know, I love that about you. You as a judge and as a human being always take a person's story into consideration. And I think it's remarkable at the age of 88, you're a retired judge. You also are a bonafide social media phenomenon. Also and you are known as America's nicest judge.

您认为为何对他人保持善意与体贴如此重要？

Why do you think it's important to be kind and nice to people?

因为人们有时对司法系统的敬畏程度令人心惊。遗憾的是，虽然我不愿这么说，但确实有些法官一披上法袍，就自以为有权做出某些我无法认同的越界行为。明白吗？因为我认为既然身着法袍手握重权，就应承担相应责任。我总是设身处地为面前的人着想。

Because people look up to judiciary sometimes in a way that's terrifying. And unfortunately, it's not nice for me to say this, but unfortunately, some judges put a robe on and they think it gives them the ability to take certain excesses that I don't appreciate or agree with. Know? Because I think that you have an obligation that you have that robe and you have all of this authority. And I always place myself in the shoes of the person before me.

可能是个要养活四个孩子的工人，也可能是位母亲。他们在发抖。无论身份如何，他们都在颤抖。

It's a working guy with four kids. It's a mother. And they're trembling. Even it doesn't make any difference who they are. They're trembling.

他们站在法官面前，不知道会发生什么。而许多法官坐在高位时，确实会端足架子——他们就在那里。

They're before a judge. They don't know what's gonna happen. You know? And when the judge is up there you know, many judges, they take themselves seriously. Oh, they're there.

就像个机器人。我从不认同这种做派。我一直认为法官完全可以既通情达理又富有同情心。

Oh, it's a robot. You know? I'm divorced here. And this I mean, I never subscribed to that theory. You know, I always thought that you could be understanding and compassionate.

这很简单，是家庭教育使然。我父母就是这样培养我的——父亲出身十口之家，母亲有七个兄弟姐妹。

It's very simple. It's what I was taught at my house. I was raised that way, my my parents. You know, my father was one of 10. My mother was one of eight.

我有18个叔伯姨姑，个个都比别人更富同情心。家庭是社会的基本单元，一切品质都由此孕育。

I had 18 aunts and uncles. One was more compassionate than the other. The basic unit of society is the family unit. And everything springs from that.

我们都知道您因给予人们第二次机会而备受爱戴。作为处理停车罚单、交通违规等案件的法官，您总是试图理解当事人的处境。法官大人，您为何坚信人们值得第二次机会？

You know, one of the things that I also know about you is that you became famous and beloved for giving people second chances. And so here you are a judge and you are usually working with people or you're presiding over cases where people have parking fines, traffic violations, but you always sought to understand what was going on with somebody. Why do you believe people deserve second chances, Judge?

试问谁的人生不需要第二次机会？回想你生命中所有获得宽恕或改过自新的时刻。'理解'与'同情'不只是动听的词汇——说'他真富有同情心'很容易，但关键是如何践行。

Well, tell me who doesn't need a second chance in life. In other words, go through your life and think of all those times that you were given a break or a second chance. It's just the words understanding and compassionate, know, are not just words, they sound nice. Say, Oh, it's wonderful, he's compassionate. What does that mean?

真正难的是实践同情与理解。很简单，我只需换位思考。我的成长经历虽不轻松——出身贫寒，有过因穷困被拒之门外的遭遇，但正是这些塑造了我。

It's the exercise of being compassionate and understanding. And it's very simple. I just put myself in the shoes of the person before me. I had a difficult, that's not the right word, but a very interesting bringing up. I came from a poor family and we have stories about things that we couldn't have and places we went that people didn't think we belong because we were poor and all of that.

父亲像磐石般坚韧。作为送奶工，他穿着制服参加圣诞舞会也毫不在意。这样的成长环境教会我永远要为他人着想。

And my father was like a rock. I'm a working man and he'd wear his milkman uniform. He didn't care. He'd wear it to a Christmas ball. And it was brought up to always take other people into consideration.

那么，你通过乘坐送奶车和跟随配送路线，从你父亲那里学到了什么？

So what did you learn from your dad by riding on the milk truck and going on the delivery route?

我学会了如何待人接物。以我父亲为榜样，他是个非常善解人意的人。举个简单的例子，他在一家大公司工作，公司有规定如果客户两周未支付牛奶账单，就停止配送。这是公司的政策。但我父亲有自己的原则。

I learned how to treat people. By my father's example, my father was a very understanding person. One simple example is he worked for a big company and they had a standard rule that if someone did not pay their milk bill after two weeks, you stop delivery. That was the company's policy. My father had his own policy.

如果客户家里有孩子，他就不会停止送奶。他不在乎他们拖欠多久。事实上，很多时候他会自掏腰包——那时候一美元两美元可是不少钱——替他们垫付部分牛奶费，然后告诉上司说这些家庭在努力支付，而且他们有孩子要养。他还特意在车上贴了醒目的‘禁止搭乘’标志。

If they have children, he wasn't stopping the milk. He didn't care how far behind they were. And as a matter of fact, many times he'd put in, back in those days, it was a lot of money. He put in a dollar or 2 toward their milk bill to tell his superiors, they're making an effort to pay and they have children. And he stood them down, you know, a nice big sign on the truck that says no riders.

按理说除非是公司员工，否则不能上车——但我哥哥和我除外。父亲会叫醒我们，我们就是那两个特许乘客。

You wasn't supposed to be on the truck unless you work for the company, except my brother and I. My father would wake us up. We were riders. You

明白吗？可能还帮忙搬运牛奶对吧？对。你在那本杰出的著作《法庭中的慈悲》里写到了人生中最具影响力的时刻之一。

know? And carriers of the milk probably too. Right? Right. You write in your remarkable book, Compassion in the Court, about one of the most impactful moments in your life.

当时你六年级，即将毕业时发生了一件事。能和我们讲讲吗？

You were in sixth grade. You were about to graduate, and something happened. Could you tell us that story?

不知道现在还有没有这个传统，但那时候小学毕业升初中是件大事，我们每人都有本签名册。朋友们会在上面留言，比如‘若你口渴恰逢清泉’之类的话。

I'm not sure if they still do this, but when you left the sixth grade, you went to middle school and it was a big deal and we all had an autograph book. And our friends would sign it, if you're thirsty and you're near a spring, all of that.

孩子们写的那些俏皮话对吧？

All the funny stuff the kids write, right?

有天父亲下班回家，穿着送奶工制服很疲惫地看报纸。我拿着签名册先让母亲签名。我说：‘妈妈，给我签个名吧？’她签了三页：‘爱你的妈妈’。

So my father came home from work one day and he was tired and he had his milkman uniform on and he was reading the newspaper and I had my autograph book. I had my mother sign the autograph book first. I said, Mama, you wanna sign the book? She signed three pages. Love, mom.

‘我爱你’。然后我问父亲：‘爸爸，你能给我签名吗？’他没说话，只是接过本子。他放下报纸盯着本子看了很久——可能有几分钟——在思考该对这个即将上初中的12岁儿子说些什么。

I love you. So I asked my father. I said, Dad, will you sign my book? And he didn't so he just reached for it. And he put it down, and he just was staring at it for what seemed like a long time, probably a couple of minutes, trying to think of what he was gonna say, you know, to his 12 year old son who's gonna go to middle school.

街道宽阔。道路漫长且崎岖不平，前行艰难。但我知道你会昂首挺胸，光荣地坚持走到最高成就的终点。真正触动我的是你父亲安东尼奥·卡普里奥·朱尼尔的话。我父亲出生在意大利。

The street is wide. The road is long and very bumpy and very tough going. But I know that you will proceed along and honorably with your head held high to the end of the highest earning. And then the line that really got me here was from your dad, Antonio Caprio Junior. My father was born in Italy.

你知道，他随父母来到这里。他想确保这份文件的准确性。所以这不仅仅是你父亲，安东尼奥·卡普里奥·朱尼尔。这是一份带有我法定姓名的正式文件。他对我说的这番话，确实是发自肺腑之言。

You know, he came here with his parents. He wanted to make sure that this document was accurate. So it wasn't just your dad, you know, Antonio, Antonio Caprio Junior. This is an official document with my legal name. And I really mean it from the bottom of my heart is what he was saying to me.

我至今保存着那本书。它就放在我办公桌的右手抽屉里。你知道，我一直珍藏着它。

I still have that book. It's in the right hand drawer of my desk. You know, and I keep it.

你认为你父亲在那句话里想对你表达什么？

What do you think your dad was trying to say to you in that phrase?

我父亲想对我说的是：听着，我们没有能力给你提供物质上的富足。人生之路充满艰辛，非常艰难。所以你必须比其他人更坚强一些，而且你必须努力学习。

My dad was trying to say to me, Listen, we don't have the resources to give you material things in life. The road is tough going. It's very tough going. So you're gonna have to be a little bit tougher than the next person. And you're gonna have to study hard.

他总是不停地说，你必须上大学。你必须上大学。

And he constantly was saying, you have to go to college. You have to go to college.

我正在给你读第43页的内容。你写道，你在反思父亲的话。我父亲没有受过教育，但他有着诗人的灵魂。这句话我读过上千遍。他的话语至今触动着我，我仍在努力让他骄傲，不辜负他对我的高期望。

I'm reading to you from page 43. And you write, and you're reflecting on what your father said. My father was not educated but he had the soul of a poet. I have read that message a thousand times. His words touched me to this day and I still find myself trying to make him proud and live up to his high expectations for me.

为了成功穿越这条宽阔、漫长且崎岖的道路，我们都需要一个道德指南针。没有人告诉我如何有道德。我是通过观察他人学会的。最重要的是，我父母树立的优秀榜样。他们确实为你树立了一个非常伟大的榜样。

To successfully navigate the wide street and long and bumpy road, we all need a moral compass. I wasn't told how to be moral. I learned by watching others. Most importantly, the fine examples set by my mother and father. They did set a really big example for you.

你父亲一直说，去上大学吧。于是你去了。告诉我上大学的事，以及你接下来的人生发生了什么。

Your father kept saying, Go to college. And so you did. Tell me about going to college and what happened next in your life.

我父亲是十个孩子中的一个，他被认为是家里最聪明的。他排行中间。不幸的是，由于经济原因，这个十口之家从意大利移民过来，他没能上大学。他们是推着手推车卖水果的小贩。所以我父亲的梦想一直是上大学，但这个梦想对他来说遥不可及。

My father was one of 10 and he was considered the smartest one of the family. He was right in the middle. And unfortunately, he couldn't go to college because of the financial physician, family of 10 immigrated from Italy. They were they were fruit peddlers with a push cart. So my father's dream always was to go to college, and it was not afforded to him.

但他坚持要确保我和弟弟都能接受教育。他会在凌晨4点叫醒我们，一起去卡车上干活。他总说：如果不想干这个，你们就得去上大学。他把这个观念深深植入我们脑海，而且奏效了。因为我的许多朋友高中毕业后，由于家里没钱就直接工作，很快就能买车。

But he wanted to make sure that my brother and I both had an education. And he would wake us up at 04:00 in the morning, and we'd go to work on the truck. And he would constantly say, If you don't wanna do this, you're gonna go to college. He just drove that into us and it worked. Because a lot of my friends, after high school, we had no money and they went out and got a job and then they were able to buy a car.

他们拥有了我当时没有的物质条件。不去上大学而去工作确实很有诱惑力。但这是我父亲的梦想。他如此强烈地向我们灌输这个理念，以至于对我来说，上大学是毋庸置疑的选择。

And they had some material things that I didn't have. And it was a temptation to go, not to go to college, to go and get a job. But it was my father's dream that we do that. And he impressed it upon us so much that there was it was a no brainer for me that I had to go.

卡普里奥法官，非常感谢您的到来。我想稍作停顿，让我们优秀的赞助商有机会说几句话。同时也希望您能将这场精彩对话分享给关心的人。每个人都需要一些卡普里奥法官的人生智慧，请花一分钟时间分享，别走开。我们正要深入探讨这些人生经验，短暂休息后我和卡普里奥法官会等着大家回来。

Judge Caprio, I am so grateful that you're here. I want to take a quick pause so we can give our amazing sponsors a chance to share a few words. I also want to give you a chance to share this incredible conversation with people that you care about. Everybody needs some Judge Caprio in their life, so take a minute and share this and don't go anywhere. We're just digging into these life lessons and Judge Caprio and I will be waiting for you after a short break, so stay with us.

欢迎回来。我是你们的老朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。今天我们有幸与非凡的弗兰克·卡普里奥法官共度时光，向他88年人生和40年法官生涯汲取智慧。卡普里奥法官，您当年上的是哪所大学？

Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins. Today, you and I are getting to spend time with the remarkable Judge Frank Caprio. We are learning life lessons from his extraordinary 88 years and forty years on the bench. So Judge Caprio, where did you go to college?

还有

And did

你知道普罗维登斯学院。

you Providence know College.

你去了普罗维登斯学院。你当时就知道自己想当律师吗？

You went to Providence College. Did you know you wanted to be a lawyer?

我父亲，那时我大概——我不确定——应该是12岁。我们住在所谓的冷水公寓里，意思是没有集中供暖，只有一个老式的圆肚炉子。我记得就像发生在五分钟前一样，那天冷极了，我和我弟弟坐在那儿，他们开着烤箱门让我们取暖。

My father, when I was I don't I must've been 12 years old. We lived in what they call a cold water flat, which meant we didn't have heat, central heat. We had an old pot belly stove. And I recall it like it happened, like, five minutes ago that my my brother and myself, and it was freezing that day. And we were sitting they kept the oven door open so we could get some heat.

我父亲会谈论生活中的种种事情。他对我弟弟说，这就是你将来要做的事等等。然后他对我说，你口才很好——这是他的原话。是啊，那时我才12岁。

My father would talk about things in life and so forth. And he was saying to my brother, this is what you're gonna do in life and so forth. And he said to me, he says, you're a good talker. These are his words. And, yeah, I was 12 years old.

我至今记得他的话。他说，你口才很好，总有一天会成为律师。那感觉就像天启降临。除了当律师，我从未想过要做或成为别的什么。

I still remember them. He says, you're a good talker. You're gonna be a lawyer someday. He was like an idiot coming down from heaven. I never wanted to be or do anything else except be a lawyer.

事实上，我在初中时，八年级要写一本职业规划书。我写的是当律师。上学时我的课程全都围绕着进入法律行业。就因为我父亲对我说的那句话——如果我没记错的话，他当时把手搭在我肩上。

As a matter of fact, when I was in middle school, we had to write a career book in the eighth grade. My career book was on being a lawyer. And when I went to school, my courses were all geared toward going into the legal profession. And it was just that one sentence that my father said to me. And if I remember it correctly, he put his hand on my shoulder.

他把手搭在我肩上说：'你可以说你要当美国总统。不，不，不。'

Put his hand on my shoulder. You could have said you're gonna be president of The United States. No. No. No.

不，我要当律师。我父亲说：'我要当个好律师。'接着他说了句让我终生难忘的话：'记住，不能向我们这样的穷人收费。'

No. I'm gonna be a lawyer. My father said, I'm gonna be a good lawyer. And then my father said, and this still remains with me. He said, remember, you can't charge poor people like us.

不能向我们这样的穷人收费？然后他说：'不过别担心，你可以从富人那里赚回来。'这就是他的原话。那时我12岁。知道吗？

Can't charge poor people like us? And then he said, but don't worry because you make it up with the rich people. Those were his exact words. I was 12 years old. And can I tell you something?

我的律师事务所从未向贫困家庭收过费。从来没有。以后也不会。

My law office has never charged a poor family. Never. And we won't.

这太神奇了，因为你说得对。就像上天直接降下的启示，他预言了你的未来——你会像富人那样成功，但永远不会看不起穷人。

It is amazing because you're right. It is like it came straight down from heaven because he basically told you what was gonna happen, that you would be successful like the rich people, but you would never ever ever judge the poor.

我觉得更多家长应该这样做。有时候家长以为贬低孩子能让他们成功，其实应该鼓励他们，让他们知道你相信他们。

I think more parents should do that. You know, sometimes parents think the way they can get their kids to succeed is by berating them. You have to encourage them. Let them know you believe in them.

你在法庭上每天都践行这点。看着实在令人惊叹，因为你不只是说说而已。你大学毕业时...

And you did that every day in court. It was absolutely amazing to watch because you didn't just talk it, you showed it. When you graduated from college, did

直接去法学院了吗？我大三时发现钱不够读法学院，所以得先找份教书的工作。我主修政治学，以为能帮到法学院——其实并不能，它只对政治学有帮助。

you go straight to law school? Or I I determined when I was a junior in, college that I would not have enough money to go to law school. So I'd have to get a job teaching. But I had majored in political science, which I thought would prepare me for law school, which doesn't incidentally. It prepares you for political science.

对法学院毫无帮助。但人们总误以为政治学是法学的良好跳板。其实商科才是——给想读法学院的大学生提个醒，主修商科吧。

It does not prepare you for law school. But there was this misconception that, oh, you take political science, that's a a pretty good entrance into law. It's not. Actually, business is a better entrance into law for all you kids out there who wanna go to college and then to law school. Major in business.

我也曾是一名摔跤教练。是的。我在罗德岛州普罗维登斯的希望高中任教。

I was a wrestling coach as well. Yeah. I taught at a hope Hope High School in Providence, Rhode Island.

那么教授高中课程和执教摔跤队的经历，让你对生活有了哪些领悟？

And how did teaching high school and coaching a wrestling team, what did that teach you about life?

生活对我来说就是一门课。那些都是你年轻时人们教导你的道理——只要不放弃，坚持到底，总会找到方法。虽然过程艰难，但你能挺过来。所以我总是竭尽所能。

Well, life's life's a lesson for me. It was all the things that they taught you when you were younger. You know, if you don't give up, if you stay you stay the course, you know, you find a way to do it. It's hard work, but you will survive. So I always did what I had to do.

但我的终极目标是法学院。没错，法学院。因为我父亲对我说：你会成为律师的，对吧？

But my final goal was law school. Yeah. Law school. Because my father said to me, you're gonna be a lawyer. Right?

自那以后我就立志成为律师，因为我从未想过从事其他职业。

And I wanted to be a lawyer after that because I never wanted to be anything else.

你在去法学院夜校之前教了多久的书？我当时是晚上去法学院。

How long did you teach before you because you went to law school at night I went at to law

夜校。是的。四年。好的。嗯。

school nights. Yeah. Four years. Okay. Yeah.

我教了六年书。

I taught for six years.

所以你教了六年书。然后在你教书的同时，你还去法学院上夜校。

So you taught for six years. And then while you were teaching, you went to law school at

是的。

night. Yes.

哇。那段人生经历教会了你什么？就是坚持前进吗？有志者事竟成，总能找到办法？

Wow. And what did that period of your life teach you? Just keep going? There's a will, there's a way, you can figure it out?

从来没有过'哦，我真可怜'这种想法。我以前经常开车。我和一个朋友会开车去法学院，后来他退学了。所以我独自开车去。有时候我坐火车。

There never was, oh, poor me. And I used to drive. Me and a friend of mine would drive up to law school and then he dropped out. So I drive up alone. Sometimes I took the train.

有一次我被困在拉斐特家外面，不得不搭便车去学校。

One time I got stuck right outside the Lafayette house and had to hitchhike the rest of the way to school.

嗯，你有一点很特别。一旦你下定决心做某事，就一定会找到方法。

Well, there's one thing about you. Once you lock your mind on something, you're gonna find a way.

哦，是的。我总会找到办法的。

Oh, yeah. I'm gonna find a way.

那么在你成为法官之前，你从事的是哪类法律工作？

So what kind of law did you practice before you-

普通法。

General law.

普通法。

General law.

普通法。

General law.

你是怎么当选成为法官的？

And how did you come to be elected to become a judge?

最初我以律师身份参选普罗维登斯市议会时，我的对手是已在议会掌权三十五年的议长，他是当地最具影响力的人物，权力甚至超过市长。那场胜利在当时堪称非凡。

First of I ran for the Providence City Council when I was a lawyer, and I ran against the president of the city council, who was a very powerful individual. He had been in the he had been in the council for thirty five years. He was considered the most powerful figure in Providence, more powerful than the mayor. And it was a remarkable victory back then.

你胜选后发生了什么？

What happened when you won?

我赢了。我说了算。

I won. I was the boss.

太棒了。那么你是什么时候决定竞选法官的？或者你是如何被任命为法官的？

That's fantastic. So when did you decide to run and become a judge? Or how were you appointed to become a judge?

实际上，我是由市议会任命的，因为这是 municipal judge（市法院法官）职位。

Actually, I was appointed by the city council because it's a municipal judge.

明白了。

Got it.

法官职位。你知道吗？好吧。当时我在市议会里有朋友支持，还有我所在选区的议员和市长也支持我。我在公共事务方面有相当不错的履历。

Judgeship. You know? Okay. So I had my friends on the council and I had the the councilman from my district and the mayor supporting me. I had a pretty good record in public life.

所以我并不是完全默默无闻的人。

So I was I wasn't exactly an unknown.

那么你当时对成为法官感到兴奋吗？这是你自己一直想做的事，还是有人推荐给你的？

Now were you excited to be a judge? Is it something that you thought you wanted to do, or did somebody recommend it to you?

这个法官职位对我来说很理想，因为它是兼职的。靠法官的薪水，尤其是市法院法官的薪水，我根本养不起五个孩子。所以我实际上是个兼职法官，担任首席法官，还有另外两名法官。这样我可以在法庭工作的同时继续从事律师职业。

This judgeship was ideal for me because it's it's a part time judgeship. Because I could never have support of five kids on a judge's salary, particularly municipal judge's salary. So so I was able to be I was actually a part time judge. I was the chief judge, and there were two other judges. But it wasn't I could still practice law while I was practicing on the court as well.

如果不是这样，我可能永远无法接受这份工作。

If not, I could I would never have been able to take the job.

所以在你那本了不起的书中，第19章，你写到了作为法官的第一天

So in your incredible book, chapter 19, you write about the first day as a judge

哦，是的。

Oh, yeah.

以及那天教会你关于同情心的事。你能给我们讲讲你上任第一天发生的故事吗？

And what it taught you about compassion. Would you be able to tell us that story about what happened the first day you I'm on

我不是被选上的。我是法官。我拿到了法袍。对吧？我要去了。

I get elected no. I'm I'm a judge. I got the robe. Right? I'm gonna go.

我是老大。我要坐在法官席上，现在就是这样了。对吧？我已经到了。所以我对我父亲说，我说，爸，你知道的，这是我第一天坐上法官席。

I'm the boss. I'm gonna sit on the bench, and this is it now. Right? I have arrived. So I said to my father, I said, dad, you know, my first day on the bench.

他说，我会下来走走。我说，好啊，下来吧。我很希望你能下来。所以我就在那儿，得意洋洋，真的自我感觉良好。

He said, I'll come down and walk. I said, good. Come down. I'd for you to come down. So I'm there, and I'm bum I am really full of myself.

你知道，我现在是法官了。看看我。明白吗？哦，全体起立，请。所有人都站起来之类的。

You know, I'm I'm a judge now. Look at me. You know? Oh, rise, please. Everybody rises and so forth.

这太疯狂了。然后这个女人来到我面前。她欠了——我不知道她车上被装了车轮锁。不清楚具体欠了多少，大概几百美元的罚款吧，她付不起。所以我说，如果你不付钱，我是不会把锁从你车上取下来的。

It's so crazy. So this woman comes before me. She owed, I don't she had a boot on her car. I don't know what she owed, a couple $100 in tickets, and she couldn't pay them. So I said, well, if you don't pay it, I'm not gonna take the boot off the car.

然后她说，我就是没钱。真的没钱，而且我有四个孩子。这可是我第一天当法官。没人能随便欺负我。对吧？

And she says, I just don't have the money. Don't have the money, and I have four kids. It's my first day on the bench. No one's gonna bully me around. Right?

于是我说，听着，你欠钱不还。如果不付，我们就要给车装上轮锁。她说，我没钱。我得送孩子上学。所以我回答，我很抱歉。

So I says, well, you owe the money. And if you don't, we're gonna leave the boot on the car. She said, I don't have the money. I have to get my kids to school. So I said, I'm sorry.

案件延期审理。我们给你几天时间来处理。对吧？当时我父亲就在法庭里。休庭后，他来到法官办公室找我。

Continue the case. We'll give you a couple of days to come in. Right? And my father's in the courtroom. After court's over, my father comes into chambers.

我问法警，我父亲怎么进办公室的？我特别高兴地问，爸，刚才庭审怎么样？他却反问我，怎么样？你...你怎么能那样做？

I said to the sheriff, how'd my father come in chambers? I'm so happy. I said, dad, how did it go? He said, how did it go? How how did how could you do that?

我做什么了？他说，那个妇女的事。我说她对法庭不敬。你知道，我说她藐视法庭。我说不会轻饶她。

How could I do what? He said, that woman. I said, she was disrespectful. You know, I said, she wasn't respecting the court. I said, I wasn't gonna take care of her.

他说，弗兰克，她有四个孩子。想想如果她交了罚单，今晚孩子们就要饿肚子。她身无分文。没车接送孩子上学。

He said, Frank, she had four kids. Now suppose she can't feed the kids tonight if she paid those tickets. She has no. She doesn't have a car. She can't drive them to school.

你在干什么？我们家教不是这样的。法官生涯首日就为三十多年的审判工作定下基调。自那以后，我判刑时总会考虑每个人的实际处境。这个案子至今让我耿耿于怀。

What are you doing? You weren't brought up that way. My first day on the court set the tone of my judgeship of over thirty years. After that, I took everybody's personal situation into consideration in the imposition of a sentence. And I that case still bothers me.

时至今日想起仍觉不安。我常自问，当时怎能那样？以我的教养本不该如此。不知为何上任初期会那样判决，虽然她起初确实出言不逊，但法官必须超越这些表象。

It still bothers me to this day when I think about it. I say to myself, how would you do that? You know, with my upbringing and so forth. And I don't know why my first days, my case, this woman, she was insulting to begin with, but you have to overcome that.

因为她害怕。

Because she was scared.

她吓得要命。是的。正如我父亲所说。

And she was scared to death. Right. Yes. As my father said.

其实她是给你的礼物，你在书里第110页写道：这堂课让我明白，法官更重要的是面对具体的人，而非机械执行法律。从此我总是探究当事人真实处境，考量判决不仅影响他们，更关乎整个家庭。对吧。

Well, think she was a gift to you because you write in this book on page one ten. The lesson was that being a judge is much more about the person in front of you Right. Than it is about the law. Since then, I've always tried to find out what was really going on with the person, and I always considered how my ruling would impact not only them, but their whole family. Right.

就像，如果你真的仔细想想

Like, if you really think about

那些不仅仅是空话。我做到了。

that Those aren't only words. I did that.

是的。是的，你做到了。你坚持那样做了三十多年。

Yes. Yes, you did. You did that for over thirty years.

没错。

Right.

我认为你需要那个案件——当你父亲坐在那里时——来提醒自己是谁。我们都需要那样的时刻。而你足够睿智和出色，能够认识到那是什么并真正做出改变，这太了不起了。法官，如果有人正在听你说话，他们想遵循你的建议，向世界注入更多善意，对他人更富有同情心，你该如何实践这一点呢？尤其是在这个时代，一切都显得令人不堪重负，新闻头条充满压力，经济动荡不安，或者有人可能会想，我的善意是否真的能带来改变。你会对这样的人说什么？

And I think you needed that case with your father sitting there to be reminded of who you are. We all need those moments. You were just smart enough and wonderful enough to recognize what it was and to actually change, which is incredible. You know, if somebody is listening to you, Judge, and they want to follow your advice of putting more kindness into the world, of being more compassionate towards other people, How can you practice that, particularly in a moment of time where things seem overwhelming, the headlines are stressful, the economy's all over the place, or maybe you feel like, well, it's not gonna make a difference if I'm kind. What would you say to somebody?

设身处地为他们着想。想象你自己坐在那里，因为这种事可能发生在任何人身上。明白吗？明天会怎样，我们无从知晓。我们见过许多曾经非常富有的人最终身无分文。

Place yourself in their shoes. Imagine that you were sitting there because it can happen to all of us. You know? Tomorrow we don't know what tomorrow brings. We've had many very wealthy people who ended up penniless.

因此我一直信奉这一点。我总是站在面前那个人的角度思考问题，然后尝试施以些许同情和理解。有时他们可能做得过火，但你知道吗？我宁愿在同情上过火，也不愿在惩罚上过火。

And so I always have subscribed to that. I always place myself in the shoes of the person that was before me. And then try to exercise a modicum of compassion and understanding. Sometimes they went overboard, but you know what? I'd rather go overboard with compassion than go overboard with punishment.

作为一名法官，当你设身处地为他人着想时，你见过人们最脆弱的一面。你见过他们的恐惧，也见过他们的羞愧。从这些与人交往的经历中，你学到了什么让你对人类和世界依然充满希望？因为你一直担任法官这一非凡的角色。

When you step into somebody else's shoes, as a judge, you have seen people at their most vulnerable. You have seen them scared. You've seen them ashamed. What's something that you've learned from all of these interactions with people that really gives you hope about human beings and the world? Because you have been in this amazing role as a judge.

你站在他人的立场上，考虑他们的处境。你总是会思考这将如何影响他们的家庭。对于每个站在你面前的人，你认为他们真实的本性是什么？

You step into people's shoes. You consider their circumstances. You always take into account how this is going to impact the family. What do you believe is true about the true nature of every human being that stands before you?

我们并非独自活在这世上。生活中的许多必需品、某些需求，我们必须依赖他人。我们有义务运用自己拥有的任何资源——我们自身的资源——去帮助他人，通过我们的贡献让社会变得更美好。这些话我们经常听到，对吧？投身于某项事业，捐赠慈善，帮助他人。

We're not in this world alone. We have to rely on other people for many necessities in life, for some of our needs. We have an obligation to use whatever resources we have, our own resources to help others, to make society better because of our contributions. Those are the words we hear all the time, you know? Dedicate yourself to a cause, give to charity, help people.

听起来不错，但要付诸实践。我是说，我见过一些人——恕我直言——他们是骗子，嘴上宣扬这些却不身体力行。公众人物尤其如此，说一套做一套。我的原则始终是：若你本应得八分或六分的同情分，我会给你十分，希望这能帮到你并改变你的人生。

They sound good, but put them in practice. I mean, I've seen people, I mean, for lack of a better term, who are frauds, who are preaching this, but don't do it. People in public life, they preach one thing and do another. My theory always was, you know, if you deserved an eight or or you you deserve the six in sympathy, I gave you a 10, hoping that it would help you and that it would change your life.

卡普里奥法官，感谢您分享这番话。我会永远铭记这次对话。现在请稍作停顿，让您有机会将这些智慧结晶和非凡对话分享给关心的人。别走开，广告后我和卡普里奥法官将继续等候大家。

Judge Caprio, thank you for sharing what you just said. I am going to remember this conversation forever. I wanna take a quick pause and give you a chance to share this wisdom and this extraordinary conversation with the people that you care about. And don't go anywhere because Judge Caprio and I are gonna be waiting for you after a short break. So stay with us.

欢迎回来。我是你们的老朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。今天我们正在聆听美国最仁慈的法官弗兰克·卡普里奥改变人生的故事。法官先生，您提到很后悔处理第一个案件的方式——您是如何应对这种遗憾的？

Welcome back. It's your buddy Mel Robbins. And today, we are spending time hearing the life changing stories from America's nicest judge, Frank Caprio. So judge Caprio, you know, you mentioned that you really regret how you handled that first case. How do you deal with regret?

那些您希望当初能采取不同做法的事？

The things that you wish you had done differently?

这是个教训。自那之后三十年法官生涯里，我再未重蹈覆辙。无数次在法庭上，当本能反应让我想严惩某人时...

It's a lesson. Just I have I I never repeated it after that. And I was on the bench for thirty years after that. I never repeated it. I can't tell you how many times I was there and I knee jerk reaction.

我总会提醒自己：不能这么做。他们家里还有孩子，今晚可能连饭都吃不上。这些现实因素都要考虑。

I wanted to really bang somebody and I says, you know, I can't do that. They have kids at home. They probably won't be able to put food on the table tonight. You know, so all of those things.

法官先生，您的节目《普罗维登斯现场》二十五年前在罗德岛公共电视台首播，后来全球 syndication（联播），如今更在线上拥有数百万粉丝。这些片段激励着世界各地的人们——

You know, judge, your show Caught in Providence went on public access TV in Rhode Island about twenty five years ago. And it later went into syndication all over the world. And now you are online. You have millions of followers. These clips inspire people around the world.

观看量已达数十亿次。您认为为何您的工作方式和生活哲学能引发如此广泛共鸣？

I'm talking billions of views. Why do you think your work and your approach to life and relationships is resonating with people?

因为它关乎体面、尊严，关乎每个家庭对自我的期许。核心在于传递同情与理解——

Because it addresses decency. It addresses honor. It addresses all of those things that families are hoping for for themselves. And that's what it's all about. It addresses compassion and understanding.

我不空谈这些词汇。担任法官时，我践行着它们。很简单：设身处地为面前的人着想。你希望他们如何对待你？

I don't just use those words. When I was on the bench, I exercised them. It's very simple. Just put yourself in the shoes of the person before you. How do you want them to treat you?

你刚刚为人所知，就有数百万人追随你，因为你给出的绝妙建议。你认为你提供过的最佳建议是什么？

You have been just known and people follow you, millions of people follow you because of the incredible advice that you give. What do you think the best advice is that you've given?

只需保持高尚。这意

Just be honorable. What does

味着什么？因为我觉得在当今世界，很多人甚至不会考虑高尚这个问题。

that mean? Because I think in the world today, a lot of people don't even think about honor.

当有人来到我面前时，我会恳求他们，只要告诉我真相。只要说实话。在这件事上保持高尚。你知道吗？而最终，这是值得的。

When people came before me, I I would implore them, just tell me the truth. Just tell me the truth. Be honorable about all of this. You know? And at at the end of the day, it pays off.

确实值得。你知道吗？我对人展现了同情。有些人带着噩梦般的故事来找我。我是说，有个女人来，她欠了500美元的罚单没付。

It does pay off. You know? I showed compassion to people. Some some people came in and had nightmarish stories. I mean, I had a woman come in and she owed $500 in tickets and she didn't pay them.

她说她没有钱，而且她腿上中了一枪。她腿里还有颗子弹。在这种情况下你会怎么做？

She said she didn't have the money and that she was shot in the leg. She had a bullet in her leg. What do you do in a case like that?

我可能会撤销罚单，让她能支付医疗费用。

I would probably dismiss it so she can pay her medical bills.

我就是这么做的。

That's what I did.

你知道吗，我想读一段你畅销书《法庭上的慈悲》中的话，在第116页，我很想听听你的反思，因为作为你的忠实粉丝，你与孩子们交流的方式尤其打动我。我常告诉孩子们，我期待他们离开我的法庭后能做出伟大的事。知道有人期待你成就不凡的力量是无法估量的。我确信人们之所以受到激励做到最好，是因为一路上有人告诉他们相信他们。我确信我之所以成为律师，最终成为法官，是因为我的父母告诉我我可以做到。

You know, one of the things that I wanna read to you, from your bestselling book, Compassion in the Court, this is on page one sixteen, and I'd love to hear you reflect on this because in being a big fan of yours, the way that you spoke to children in particular always struck me. I often tell children that I'm expecting them to leave my courtroom and go on to do great things. The power in knowing someone expects greatness from you is immeasurable. I am certain that people feel inspired to do their best because along the way someone told them they believed in them. I'm certain that I became an attorney and in time a judge because my father and mother told me I could be one.

想象一下，如果我们都多做些慷慨的事，告诉更多人我们相信他们，我们能让这个世界变得多美好。请稍微谈谈这一点。

Imagine if all of us did more acts of generosity and we told more people that we believed in them, how much better we could make the world. Talk to me a little bit about that.

我认为你可以在短短一分钟内改变一个人的生活轨迹，只需将手搭在他们肩上，告诉他们你爱他们，相信他们并坚信他们会成功。如果你以最温和的方式鼓励人们，而不是对他们吼叫、斥责。我特别注重当人们带着孩子来到法庭时，要以积极的态度关注孩子们。因为他们一走进法庭就会感到恐惧。法庭可能是个非常令人畏惧的地方。

I think that you can change the course of someone's life, right, in, like, a minute, by placing your hand on their shoulder and telling them that you love them, that you believe in them and that they will succeed. If you encourage people in the gentlest way, instead of yelling and screaming and berating them. And I've always made it a very special point when people came to court with children, to concentrate on the children in a positive manner. Because as soon as they walk into the courtroom, they're terrified. Courtroom can be a very intimidating experience.

想象你12岁走进法庭。看到穿法袍的法官，配枪的警察，法庭里的橡木镶板，所有人都正襟危坐。特别是如果法官——恕我直言——是个混蛋，坚持要求每个人都必须遵守特定规矩。我从不那样做。

You walk into a courtroom if you're 12 years old. I mean, you see a judge in a robe, you see a cop with a gun, you see an oak panel in the courtroom, you see everybody sitting like this, you know? And particularly if the judge is, for lack of a better term, a jerk, you know? And is insisting that everybody behave in a certain way. I never did that.

我总是尽量以礼待人，让他们感到自在。最精彩的场景莫过于法庭上有孩子时，我会让他们坐到法官席上，协助我裁决他们父母的案件。有些回答令人惊叹，既幽默又发人深省。有个特别案例，一个从非洲移民来美国家庭——

You know, I always try to treat people civilly, you know, and let them feel comfortable. Some of the best episodes are when there were children in the courtroom, and I brought them up on the bench and had them help me determine their parents' case. And some of the answers just are amazing. They're humorous, but they're very revealing. We had one in particular, there was a family that relocated from Africa and came to The United States.

他们来美国才六个月。出庭时带着两三个孩子，其中有个约10岁的男孩。我让他上前来，他们刚来美国半年很紧张。男孩站在法官席旁时，我说：我只问你一个问题——

They had been here for six months. And they came to court, and I think there were two or three children, but one of the children was about 10 years old. And I had him come up, and they came from Africa and they were only here for six months. He's up at the bench and they're nervous and so forth. So I said, I'm gonna ask you one question.

你父亲是有罪还是无罪？他毫不犹豫回答：有罪。

Is your father guilty or not guilty? And without hesitation, he said, Guilty.

天啊，所以是超速罚单还是停车...超速罚单？超速罚单？

Oh my So what was it was just was it like a speeding ticket or a parking Speeding ticket. Speeding ticket.

对，他说有罪。全场都笑翻了。我常想起这事，孩子们太诚实了。

Yeah. He said, guilty. And I mean, it just broke the house up. I always think of that and kids are so honest.

那个案子你怎么处理的？

What did you do in that case?

我撤销了案件。

I dismissed the case.

为什么要撤销呢？

And why did you dismiss the case?

因为他有四个孩子。他来自非洲。他刚开始在这里谋生。考虑到他的家庭责任以及他非常尊重他人这一点，我把这些都纳入了考量。

Because he had four children. He came from Africa. He was just getting started to earn a living here. And so in consideration of his family commitments and the fact that he was very respectful, I took that into consideration.

所以你和你的妻子乔伊斯已经结婚六十多年了。对于那些刚开始恋爱、可能正在聆听的听众，你有什么建议？

So you and your wife, Joyce, have been married for over sixty years. What advice do you have to somebody who may be listening who is just at the beginning of their relationship?

嗯，这是一种互相迁就的关系。你知道，婚姻中没有所谓的老板。

Well, it's a give and take situation. You know, there's no such thing as a boss in the marriage.

所以你的意思是，回家后你不能当裁判？

So you can't be the judge when you come home? Is that what you're saying?

我不能。我不能。我...我管好自己。

I can't. I can't. I I behave myself.

乔伊斯可听着呢，小心点。

Joyce is watching, so be careful.

不，我们有五个孩子，她是世界上最好的母亲。我们的关系非常好。我们也会因为小事闹矛盾，你知道的，可能一两天不说话，仅此而已。但现在她已经很了解我，我也很了解她。

No, we have five children and she's the best mother in the world. We have a great relationship. We've had issues on minor things, you know, and we don't talk for a day, maybe a day and a half and that's it. You know? But she knows me pretty well by now, and I know her pretty well.

现在我们不会再发生那些小摩擦了。

And we don't have those skirmishes anymore.

嗯，我想你们对彼此都很体贴。

Well, I would imagine you're both pretty kind to each other.

她想要什么，就能得到什么。

Whatever she wants, she gets.

好了，你刚才说出了婚姻的秘诀，法官。只要我妻子想要的，我们就没问题。这就是维持家庭和睦的方法。法官，你最近被诊断出患有改变人生的胰腺癌。

Well, there you go. You just said the secret to a marriage, Judge. Whatever my wife wants, we're good. That's how you keep peace in the house. So Judge, you recently had a life altering diagnosis of pancreatic cancer.

能否分享一下面对这个癌症诊断的经历教会了你什么？

Can you share what this journey of facing this cancer diagnosis has taught you?

嗯，它教会了我很多。教会你要亲近你所爱的人。它会驱使你祈祷。你会考验自己的信仰。你会审视自己的人生，看看哪里走错了路。

Well, teaches you a lot. It teaches to stay close to the people you love. It drives you to prayer. You test your religion. You examine your life and see where you went wrong.

努力弥补过失，并试图为身边的人树立坚强的榜样。对于一个一生都很健康的人来说，突然接到死刑判决——胰腺癌是无法治愈的。所以问题在于你能与之共存多久。而我还没有放弃战斗。

Try to make amends, and try to set an example of strength for those that are around you. For someone that was pretty healthy entire life, to all of a sudden get a it's a death sentence. Pancreatic cancer is not curable. So it's a question of how long you can live with it. And I haven't given up the battle.

我很幸运，在丹娜法伯研究所和迈阿密研究所接受了两支非常知名且专业的医疗团队的治疗。因为我冬天都在迈阿密度过，所以能获得如此优质的医疗服务实属幸运。但人在年轻时总会自然而然地想到：我能活多久？会怎么死去？会死于车祸吗？

I've I'm fortunate, treated by two very well known and proficient medical teams at the Dana Farber Institute and Miami Institute. So because I I spent winter down in Miami. So I'm very fortunate to have excellent medical treatment. But it's a natural tendency to, when you're younger, think of, you know, how long am I gonna live and how am I gonna die? Am I gonna die in a car accident?

会发生什么？这样我就知道自己会怎么死去。我将因癌症而死，并会尽力活得更久。我很幸运自己现在感觉良好。

What's gonna happen? So I know how I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die cancer and gonna try to stay around as long as possible. I'm very fortunate that I feel well.

而且你看起来状态不错。

And You look right.

嗯，我感觉很好。我不会放弃。我一生中从未做过的事就是放弃。现在我当然也不会放弃。

Well, I feel well. I'm not giving up. There's one thing I never did in life was give up. And I'm certainly not giving up now.

如果正在听的人像你一样经历着非常艰难的处境，或者他们爱的人正面临可怕的诊断，他们真的在挣扎，法官，你会对他们说什么？

If the person who's listening is going through something very difficult like you are, or somebody that they love is, they have a scary diagnosis, they're really struggling, what would you say to them, Judge?

你真的别无选择。听从你的医疗团队。每个人都想当自己的医生。我按照医生说的做。我要求他们对我坦诚。

You really have no choice. Listen to your medical providers. Everyone wants to be their own doctor. I do what the doctors tell me to do. And I tell them to be honest with me.

我还能活多久？医生建议的治疗方案是什么？但我能给出的唯一建议就是遵循专业医疗意见。

How long do I have to live? What is my prescribed course of treatment? But rely on expert medical advice is the only advice that I can give them.

现在，您即将步入九十高龄

Now, as you approach your nineties

您能再说一遍吗？

I beg your pardon?

您快九十岁了。

You're approaching your nineties.

呃，不是...我是说我快八十五岁了。我的意思是，

Well, it's not I mean, I'm I'm approaching my mid eighties. I mean,

您知道吗？您对未来有什么期待？

you know? What what are you looking forward to?

我希望家庭和睦。我很幸运，我们家人关系非常紧密。

I'm looking to keep my family intact. I'm very lucky. We have a very close knit family.

我看得出您两个儿子在场。他们是来确保您不出错的。所以他们才在这儿。我能感觉到他们就像...

I can tell two of your sons are here. They're making sure that you don't screw up. That's why they're here. I can tell they're here like

盯着我呢...哦，我需要他们，因为我确实...我这个人很难管教，所以他们得让我好好活着。

watching Oh, I need them because I do. I'm very incorrigible, so they have to keep me alive.

您认为怎样才算美好的人生？

What do you think makes for a good life?

美好生活是——抱歉。美好生活就是成为一个好丈夫、好家人，拥有好朋友。这就是生活的全部。那些自以为高人一等或因为财富就享有特权的人，不，我们其实都在同一条船上。

A good life is Excuse me. A good life is being a good family man, good family person, and having good friends. That's all there is to life. Everyone who thinks that they're better than someone else or because of their wealth, that they have special privileges, no, we're all in the same boat here together.

那么你对未来有什么计划？你还想做什么？想看什么？想体验什么，法官大人？

So what are your plans for the future? What do you still wanna do? What do you wanna see? What do you wanna experience, Judge?

嗯，我喜欢旅行。很幸运能去欧洲，去我父亲出生的村庄。实际上他出生在——我去过父亲出生的地方，那里还是泥土地面，至今仍是。

Well, enjoy traveling. I've been very lucky to travel to Europe, to my father's village where he was born, actually. He was born I went to where my dad was born. It was a dirt floor. Still that, it's still a dirt floor.

我还去过中东。所以我享受旅行。虽然听起来老套，我知道这听起来——我从帮助他人中获得巨大快乐。

And I was able to go to The Middle East. And so I enjoy traveling. Trite as it sounds, I know it sounds I enjoy I derive great pleasure out of helping people.

我觉得这丝毫不老套。事实上，我认为这就是美好生活的秘诀：保持善良、给予鼓励、帮助他人。

I don't think that sounds trite at all. In fact, I think that's the secret to a good life, is being kind, being encouraging, and helping people.

为他人服务才能带来幸福人生。

Being in the service to others is what gives you a happy life.

对于正在收听、像你一样可能感到疲惫或已退休、年纪稍长的听众，关于他们未来可能的生活，你会给予什么鼓励的话？

For the person who's listening right now, who is like you and maybe tired or retired or a little older, what words of encouragement would you give them about what's possible for the rest of

他们的余生？我认为应该参与些公民事务。比如去养老院做志愿者，明白吗？

their life? I think they should become active in some civic duties. Know? Volunteer at the home for the elderly. You know?

帮助他人。接送需要的人。尽己所能为别人服务。

Help people. Drive people. But be of service to others as much as you can.

你觉得你父亲会如何评价你现在的人生？

And what do you think your father would say about who you've become?

嗯，他把手放在...他会非常骄傲的。不，他会觉得这是对他教导我的一切的肯定。他以身作则教导我。就像，当我看到父亲为一位顾客支付牛奶账单时，他不需要给我任何说教。

Well, he put his hand on and so and he'd be so proud. No. He he'd be a vindication of everything that he taught me. He taught me by way of example. Know, like, when I saw my father paying a milk bill for one of his customers, he didn't have to give me a speech.

明白吗？他为自己的行为感到失望。他是...他是从意大利一无所有来到这里的。你知道，不得不辍学。他非常聪明，但不得不工作，做很多新工作。

You know? He's he's disappointed by his actions. He's a he was a came here with nothing from Italy. You know, had to leave school. He was so smart, but he had to work, work many new jobs.

所以我欠他很多，每个父亲都应该树立这样的榜样。

So I owe a great deal to him, which every father should set that example.

我想你的儿子们也会这么说，因为他们正在演播室那边哭泣，你为他们树立了难以置信的榜样。

And I think your sons would say the same since they're crying right over there in this studio, that you've set an incredible example for them.

嗯，他们俩都做得相当不错。

Well, they've both done pretty well.

你是个难以超越的标杆，所以这意义重大。哇，这真的意义重大。如果你能回到过去，你会对自己说什么？那时你正在送牛奶，10岁，在联邦山上。

You're a hard act to beat, so that's saying a lot. Wow. That's saying a lot. What would you tell yourself if you could go back in time? You're on those milk runs, you're 10 years old, you're on Federal Hill.

你会对自己说什么？

What would you say to yourself?

我会说不要放弃，因为路的尽头，你知道，是成功。我的意思是，我有一个美好的家庭。你知道，我不是特别富有，但也不穷。我有机会来和你以及其他节目交流。我有机会回馈社会。

I'd say don't quit because the end of the road, you know, is successful. I mean, I I have a great family. You know, I'm not an extraordinary wealthy man, but I'm not broke. You know, I have an opportunity to come and speak to you and other programs as well. I've had an opportunity to give back.

回馈社会而不仅仅是索取，这带来巨大的快乐。我从来不是一个索取者。明白吗？我一直重复这句话，这是我从父亲那里学来的。

There's a great sense of joy in giving back and not just receiving. I never was a receiver. You know? And I keep using the same phrase all the time. I got that for my father.

明白吗？而且

You know? And

而我们正从您身上汲取这种精神。您向世界树立的榜样是：不是索取，而是给予。

And we're getting it from you. That's the example that you have given to the world, to not take but to give.

我对自己行为产生的全球影响感到震惊。这话听起来可能很自负，但并非如此。我每天都会收到来自世界各地的信息，得出的结论是：这个世界并不充满同情或理解。

I am amazed at the impact that my actions have had worldwide. Now this is gonna sound very egotistical. It is not. I get messages from all over the world every day. And the conclusion that I come to is that the world is not full of compassion or understanding.

我们身处一个充满争议的世界，每天都与全球各地的人们接触。虽然如此——还是要祝贺您。谢谢。我们需要更多能体谅他人立场的人。

We're in a very contentious world and being exposed to people worldwide. I get the messages every day. Congratulations, though. Thank you. We need more people who take into consideration the point of others.

这让我感到非常充实。

And it's very rewarding.

既然您拥有全球观众，正在激励世界各地的人们——对于那些感到极度沮丧、生活在缺乏支持地区、被恐怖新闻笼罩的人，法官大人，您如何保持希望之火不灭？

Since you have a global audience and you are inspiring and encouraging people around the world, for somebody that is feeling very discouraged, they may live in a part of the world where they don't have a lot of support, the headlines are scary, how do you keep hope alive, judge?

首先，每当我遇到这类困境时，我的宗教信仰是首要支柱。我并非狂热的信徒，但确实是个虔诚的天主教徒，深信祈祷的力量。这通常能帮我度过所有正在经历的困境。

Well, the first priority I have whenever I have issues like that is my religion. So I'm not a holy roller, but I do I am a practicing Catholic, and I'm a very strong believer in the power of prayer. And that usually is what gets me through all of these scrapes that I'm thinking about.

那么法官大人，如果听众从您的分享中只记住一件事，您认为改善生活最重要的行动是什么？您最后的赠言是？

So if the person listening, judge, takes just one thing from everything that you've shared, what do you think the most important thing to do would be to make your life better? What are your parting words?

我的临别赠言是：我们并非孤独存在于世，必须相互依存，应当对他人展现理解与同情，在他们需要时伸出援手。

My parting words are that we are not in this world alone, that we have to rely on each other, and that we should show understanding and compassion toward others and help them in their time of need.

卡普里奥法官，与您交谈是我的荣幸。您的人生处世之道激励着我们，能与您对坐深受启发，我想郑重告诉您：我爱您。

Judge Caprio, it is an honor to be with you. I am so glad that you are here, that we are getting to be inspired by your life, by the way that you move through life. It has been an honor to sit with you, to be inspired by you, and I wanted to be sure to tell you I love you.

非常感谢这次机会，我深表感激。

I'm very appreciative of the opportunity. Thank you so much.

不客气。我很感激你。感谢你花时间倾听、学习，并与像卡普里奥法官这样杰出的人共度时光。如果没有人告诉你，我想确保你知道我爱你，我相信你，也相信你有能力创造更美好的生活。我从这次经历中领悟到的是善良的力量，以及一个道理：目标不在于你做什么，而在于你如何去做。

You're welcome. And I appreciate you. I appreciate you for taking the time to listen and to learn and to spend time with somebody as remarkable as judge Caprio. And in case nobody else tells you, I wanted to be sure to tell you that I love you, and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life. And one of the things that I'm taking away from this one is the power of kindness and the fact that purpose is not what you do, it's how you do it.

我认为此时此刻，我们如何行动以及如何对待他人至关重要。我迫不及待想听听你从中学到了什么，也期待听到你分享这期节目的朋友们有何收获。我会在下一期节目开始播放时等你，我们那里见。

And I think in this moment, how we do it and how we treat other people is absolutely everything. I cannot wait to hear what you get out of this. I can't wait to hear what the people you share this episode with get out of this. And I also will be waiting for you to welcome you into the very next episode the moment you hit play. I'll see you there.

我们还好吧？你表现得非常棒。

We're doing okay? You're doing great.

我很好。

I'm doing great.

摄像机累了。技术好的时候确实好用，对吧？

The camera got tired. Tech is good when it works. Right?

我把摄像机弄坏了。

I broke the camera.

不，你没有。你们听那个故事都哽咽了。

No. You didn't. You guys even get choked up on that story.

每次都是。这是我两个最严厉的批评者。我们表现得怎么样？还行吧？目前为止还不错。

Every time. It's my two worst critics. How we doing? Okay? So far, so good.

看，大卫总是很谨慎。目前为止还不错。

See, David's always measured. So far, so good.

他们的意思是，我们还有可能搞砸。

We can still screw this up is what they're saying.

哦，我待会儿就告诉你那个故事。所以116。对。嗯，我得到了+168。现在怎么办

Oh, I'll tell you I'll tell you that story in a minute. So 116. Yep. Well, I got +1 68. Now what

没关系。这本书里的一切都很棒。你写的每句话都精彩绝伦。随便翻到哪一页都是佳作。

the That's alright. Well, it's all it's all great in this book. Everything you wrote is fantastic. So any page you turn to is a winner.

我们做得怎么样？还行吧？

How do we do? Alright?

我觉得你表现得非常棒。咱们问问这些

I think you did really good. Let's ask these

家伙吧。我晚点会知道的。先别告诉我。嗯。

guys then. I'll find out later. Don't tell me Yeah.

你们几位呢？我们有没有遗漏什么？

About you guys? Did we miss anything?

你本不该说这个的。那句话也不该说。

You shouldn't have said this. You shouldn't have said that.

很高兴你说了。知道吗？

Glad you did. You know that?

我很高兴结果还不错。

I'm glad it worked out okay.

好的。你表现得非常出色。

Okay. You were fantastic.

哦，好的。谢谢你。我很感激这个机会。相信我。

Oh, okay. Thank you. I appreciate the opportunity. Trust me.

嗯，我很感谢你能来这儿。我感谢你的坚持奋斗。

Well, I appreciate you making it, here. I appreciate you fighting.

谢谢。

Thank you.

继续前进。我们需要你。谢谢你。这个世界需要你。哦，还有一件事。

Going. We need you. Thank you. World needs you. Oh, and one more thing.

而且

And

不，这不是口误。这是法律条款。你知道的，就是律师写的那种，我必须读给你听的内容。本播客仅供教育和娱乐目的。我只是你的朋友。

no, this is not a blooper. This is the legal language. You know, what the lawyers write and what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend.

我不是持证治疗师，本播客也不能替代医生、专业教练、心理治疗师或其他合格专业人士的建议。明白了吗？很好。我们下期节目见。

I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I'll see you in the next episode.

严肃成就播客。

Serious Accom Podcasts.