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嘿。
Hey.
我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
It's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
今天的嘉宾和即将展开的对话将向你证明，生命中还有更大的可能性在等待着你。
Our guest today and the conversation you're about to hear proves there is a bigger possibility waiting for you in life.
现在开始还不算太晚。
It's not too late.
你可以在任何时候重塑自己的人生。
You can reinvent your life at any moment.
你能弄清楚自己想要什么，也有能力去实现它。
You can figure out what you want, and you're also capable of creating it.
我最好的朋友霍达·科特布今天要和我们聊聊关于人生重塑的话题，从我开播这档节目起就一直在等待这一刻。
My very close friend, Hoda Kotb, is here to talk about reinvention, and I've been waiting for this moment since I started this show.
霍达将比任何人都更能向你证明，重塑人生是每个人都能做到的事。
Hoda, more than anyone else, will prove to you that reinvention is something you can do.
在二三十岁时，霍达在全国各地的新闻编辑部步步高升，拒绝放弃，直到获得了世界上最令人向往的工作之一——《今日秀》的联合主播席位。
In her twenties and thirties, Hoda climbed the ranks in newsrooms across the country and refused to quit until she landed one of the most coveted jobs in the world, a co anchor slot on the Today Show.
四十多岁时，她成为了一名乳腺癌幸存者。
In her forties, she became a breast cancer survivor.
五十多岁时，她收养了女儿，第一次成为了母亲。
In her fifties, she adopted her daughters and became a mother for the first time.
六十岁时，在职业生涯的巅峰期，她毅然放下一切，毫无经验地创办了一家全新的科技企业。
At 60, at the peak of her career, she walked away from it all to launch a brand new tech business with no prior experience.
每一次当生活对霍达说'为时已晚'时，
Every single time life told Hoda, It's too late.
她都回答'不，还不晚'。
She said, No, it's not.
'看我的'。
Watch me.
她即将与你分享的智慧将证明：一切为时不晚。
The wisdom she is sharing directly with you will prove that it's not too late.
你现在就可以重塑你的人生。
You can reinvent your life right now.
她会一步步带你走过她如何一次又一次做到的历程。
She's gonna walk you step by step through how she did it over and over and over again.
她会教你如何在迷茫时找到方向。
She will teach you how to gain clarity when you don't really know what you want.
她会向你展示如何停止关闭那些等待你的更大可能性之门，如何在别人说你不够好时继续前进，以及如何真正开始相信自己值得拥有更多。
She'll show you how to stop closing the door on bigger possibilities that are waiting for you, how to keep going when other people say you're not good enough, and how to truly start to believe that you do deserve more.
这场对话将像货运列车一样冲击你。
This is one of those conversations that is gonna hit you like a freight train.
你此刻正处在正确的时间地点，我向你保证，这正是你需要听到的内容。
You're in the right place at the right time, and I promise you, this is exactly what you need to hear.
哦，我想给你一个快速提醒。●●●（此处保留英文术语'heads up'的语境）
Oh, I want to give you a quick heads up.
本期节目后面有个特别环节。
There's a special segment later in this episode.
天啊，你真该听听这个。
Oh my gosh, you need to hear it.
因为它讲的是如何真正停下来休息，以及为什么这比你想象的更重要。
Because it's about taking a pause, a real pause, and why it matters more than you think.
所以别走开，让我们一起暂停片刻。
So stick around so we can take a pause together.
这个特别环节由我们的合作伙伴名人邮轮赞助播出。
This special segment is sponsored by our friends at Celebrity Cruises.
嘿，我是你的朋友梅尔，欢迎收听梅尔·罗宾斯播客。
Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins Podcast.
你来了我太高兴了。
I am so excited that you're here.
能和你共度这段时光真是莫大的荣幸。
It's such an honor to be together and to spend this time with you.
如果你是第一次收听，或是经人推荐来听这期节目，我想借此机会亲自欢迎你加入梅尔·罗宾斯播客大家庭。
If you're a new listener or you're here because somebody shared this conversation with you, I just wanted to take a moment and personally welcome you to the Mel Robbins Podcast family.
我简直无法形容今天的对话会有多么精彩。
I cannot tell you how extraordinary today's conversation is gonna be.
因为我们要讨论的是：永远为时不晚，你可以在任何时候重塑人生。
Because we're talking about how it's not too late, you can reinvent your life at any moment.
事实上，你今天就可以开始改变。
In fact, you can do it today.
此刻在我们波士顿演播室的，是独一无二的霍达·科特布。
Here in our Boston studios is the one, the only, Hoda Kotb.
如果你知道霍达是谁，大概是因为她多年来一直担任《今日秀》备受爱戴的联合主播。
Now, if you know who Hoda is, it's probably because for years she was the beloved co anchor of the Today Show.
实际上，她和萨凡纳·格思里是首个大型电视网早间节目的全女性联合主播团队。
In fact, she and Savannah Guthrie, they were the first all female co anchor team for a major network morning TV show.
霍达还是九本畅销书的作者，包括最新力作《跃向快乐》，这本书讲述如何在人生每个阶段拥抱变化。
Hoda is also the number one New York Times bestselling author who has written nine books, including her newest bestseller, Jump and Find Joy, which is all about embracing change in every season of your life.
霍达曾获得四次艾美奖、三次格雷西奖、一次皮博迪奖以及爱德华·R·默罗奖。
Hoda has won four Emmy Awards, three Gracie Awards, a Peabody Award, and the Edward R.
默罗奖。
Murrow Award.
在我看来，霍达的人生故事就是一部关于如何在任何时刻改变生活的壮丽示范，因为她确实在人生的每个十年都不断重塑自我——从二十多岁在新闻界打拼拒绝放弃，到经历离婚、战胜癌症、52岁收养女儿，再到离开《今日秀》的梦想工作，六十多岁创办新公司。
And in my opinion, Hoda's life story is one giant demonstration of how you can change your life at any moment, because Hoda has done it over and over again in every decade of her life, from climbing the ranks in newsrooms in her twenties and refusing to quit, to going through divorce, being a cancer survivor, adopting her daughters at the age of 52, to walking away from her dream job on the Today Show, to launch a new company in her sixties.
如果世界上有一个人能说服并教会你‘为时不晚’，告诉你生命还有更多可能，那这个人就是霍达。
If there's one person on the planet who can convince you and teach you that it's not too late, and there is more that your life has in store for you, it is Hoda.
请和我一起欢迎我亲爱的朋友霍达来到梅尔·罗宾斯的播客。
So please help me welcome my dear friend Hoda to the Mel Robbins podcast.
霍达。
Hoda.
是的。
Yes.
欢迎来到《我有梅尔·罗宾斯》
Welcome to the I've Mel Robbins
我一直在等待这一刻，梅尔。
been waiting for this, Mel.
我一直在等你。
I've been waiting for you.
能回馈你我真的很激动，因为你每次都在屋顶上为我欢呼喝彩。
Well, I am so excited to pay it forward because you have shouted from the rooftops and celebrated me every single time.
我曾上过《今日秀》节目。
I have been on the Today Show.
我们成为了朋友。
We have become friends.
能和你坐在一起我太兴奋了，让此刻在场的每个人都能感受到你那种极具感染力的霍达能量直击心灵，大家都知道你是《今日秀》的主持人。
I am so excited to sit with you, to have the person that's with us right now get to have that infectious hoda energy zapped right into your veins, and everybody knows you as the host of The Today Show.
但他们不知道的是，你是我见过最有智慧、最真诚、最具感染力且鼓舞人心的人。
But what they don't know is you're one of the wisest, most honest, infectious, inspiring person that I've ever met.
哇。
Wow.
哇。
Wow.
我能说一件事吗？
Can I just say one thing?
首先，我收到了你的心意，谢谢你，我
First of all, I received that and thank you and I
爱你。
love you.
但此刻我看着你，完全回想起你第一次上《今日秀》时的情景，我们当时都在想，这个旋风般的人是谁？
But when I'm looking at you in this moment, I am having a total flashback to the first time you came on the Today Show, and we wondered, like, who is this tornado?
就像在问，这个走进来的人是谁？
Like, who is this person who walked in?
我记得你的能量先于你本人到来，当时听完你的故事后，我心想，天啊。
And I remember your energy preceded you, and what I remembered hearing your story and thinking to myself, my god.
生命中原来有这么多可能性。
Like, so many things in life are possible.
今天我漫步在你的工作室里，感到非常，为你骄傲。
I stroll through your studios today, and I feel so, like, proud of you.
所以，这正展现了无限可能，因为你不仅在说，更在践行、在生活，而我得以置身其中，感觉真的很美好。
And so, it just shows what possibilities are there because you're walking it, you're talking it, you're living it, and I get to sit in it, and it feels really good.
所以谢谢你，非常感谢你。
So thank you Thank to you.
太棒了。
Awesome.
你知道吗？
You know?
而这正是我们今天要讨论的，因为我觉得在我认识的人当中，你拥有这样一个不可思议的故事——你不断重塑自我。
And that's that's actually what we're gonna talk about today because I feel like more than anyone that I know, you have this incredible story where you are constantly reinventing yourself.
你总是在思考什么是可能的。
You're constantly thinking about what's possible.
你不断挑战自己和常规。
You're constantly challenging yourself and the norm.
我想从这一点开始：如果我认真对待你今天要分享的所有内容，
And, you know, where I wanna start is if I take everything to heart that you're about to share today,
我的生活会发生什么改变？
what could change about my life?
我来告诉你可能发生什么改变。
I'll tell you what could change.
首先，你今天此时此刻所处的位置，带着所有问题、所有糟心事、你可能喜欢或不喜欢的工作、你可能投入或不投入的感情关系——这些都不是你的宿命。
First of all, where you are in this very moment today, right now with all your problems and all the crap that you're carrying and the job you may or may not like and the relationship you may or may not be into, all of that is not your destiny.
这不是你未来的方向。
This is not where you are going.
而对我来说关键的是——我觉得我学到的一点是，有时候你会觉得自己像在一列火车上，就这样一路开到坟墓。
And the key to me is something that I feel like I've learned is sometimes you feel like I'm on a train, and I'm gonna go to my grave.
我就在这条路上。
I'm on the way.
直接开进去吧。
Just pull on in.
而我认为我意识到，你随时可以 stop，随时，都可以踩下人生的刹车。
And I think what I realized is you can stop, hit the brakes on your life at any time.
我不在乎你是20岁、40岁、60岁还是80岁。
I don't care if you're 20 or 40 or 60 or 80.
刹车，暂停，然后观察。
Brakes, pause, and look.
审视你的人生。
Look at your life.
从三万五千英尺的高空俯瞰它，然后决定：我想要改变它吗？
Just look at it from from 35,000 feet and then decide, do I wanna change it?
我想告诉你，我就是活生生的证明——你随时都可以改变它。
And I'm here to tell you, like, I feel like I'm living, breathing proof that you can change it at any time.
那些你认为不可能的事，其实并非不可能。
Things you thought were impossible are not impossible.
它们实际上很可能实现。
Thing they are actually probable.
你可以做到这些事，但你必须知道可能性是存在的。
You can do these things, but you have to know that that the possibility is out there.
你充满激情。
You are on fire.
我充满激情是因为我骨子里感受到了。
I'm on fire because I feel it in my bones.
我骨子里感受到是因为我曾认为这就是我的人生。
I feel it in my bones because I was the person who thought this is my life.
这就是最好的结局了，我心怀感激并感谢你，这就足够了。
This is as good as as it's gonna get, and I am grateful and thank you, and that's enough.
而我从‘这就够了’转变为‘这还不够’，我知道外面还有更多属于我的东西。
And I went from that's good enough to that's not enough, and there's more for me out there.
而且，梅尔，那些东西唾手可得。
And, Mel, it's out there for the taking.
我想我们总是坐在那里说，哦，你知道的，这就够了。
I think I think we sit there and go, oh, you know, that's enough.
不要贪心。
Don't be greedy.
不要自私。
Don't be selfish.
这太过分了。
It's too much.
富足啊，伙计。
Abundance, man.
富足是触手可及的。
Abundance is available.
我是说，看看你。
I mean, look at you.
看看我。
Look at me.
它就在那里，唾手可得。
Like, it's out there and available.
我太喜欢你刚才说的话了。
I loved what you just said.
所以我要用一支巨大的荧光笔把它标出来，确保你在听的时候，无论你是边散步边听，还是在车里听，或是在家通过YouTube大屏幕看我们，你都能从‘还行’转变。
So I'm gonna take a giant highlighter and highlight it to make sure as you're listening, whether you're on you're taking us on a walk or we're in your car or you're watching us on the big screen on YouTube at home, that you went from, okay.
这就够了
This is enough
嗯哼。
Uh-huh.
到‘这还不够’。
To that's not enough.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
我是说，足够好还不够好。
I mean, good enough is not enough.
足够好是不够的。
Good enough is not enough.
我并不是说要永远不满足。
And I'm not saying be constantly dissatisfied.
好的。
Okay.
那么详细说说这个，我觉得特别——我们接下来会深入探讨。
So unpack that because I think especially and we're gonna get into it.
我们要聊聊你的故事，因为你已经多次做了这种‘叫停列车，环顾四周，我喜欢现在的位置吗？’的事。
We're gonna get into your story because you have done this stop the train, look around, do I like where I am?
我想下车吗？
Do I wanna get off?
我想换条路走吗？你已经多次这样做了，我们会梳理这些重要节点，就是你所说的‘叫停列车’时刻。
Do I wanna go in a different you have done this so many times where we're gonna run through these kind of major points where you're like, stop the train.
是的。
Yeah.
停下。
Stop it.
停下。
Stop it.
或者干脆加速，嗯哼。
Or freaking accelerate Mhmm.
但先给我讲讲这两者的区别，对。
The But talk for me for just a second about the difference Yeah.
在‘足够好还不够’之间，嗯哼。
Between, okay, good enough is not enough Uh-huh.
作为一种富足的，嗯哼。
Being an abundant Mhmm.
视角，对。
Point of view Yeah.
与‘一切皆有可能’或‘万一有可能扩展’的视角之间的区别，而不是用‘足够好还不够’来打击自己。
And an anything is possible or what if possibility expansion point of view versus good enough is not enough being something that you bash yourself.
你明白我说的吗？
You see what I'm saying?
是的。
Yes.
所以我觉得有时候你会觉得自己总是有错失恐惧症。
So I think sometimes you can feel like you're you're always having FOMO.
比如，那边有什么？
Like, what's over there?
我不知道什么程度才算足够好。
I don't know what hive's good enough.
看看他们的关系，或者看看那份工作。
Look at their relationship or look at that job.
那看起来比我的工作好。
That looks better than my job.
我不是在说那个。
I'm not talking about that.
我指的是当你静下心来思考时，这段感情、这份工作、这些种种是否配得上你应得的？
I'm talking about that when you quiet yourself and sit and you think to yourself, is this relationship, is this job, is this whatever giving me what I deserve?
因为我觉得当你觉得自己不值得时，就会接受那个'还行吧'的男人。
Because I think when you feel like you're not worthy, then you take the guy who's, nah, he's okay.
我不接受'还行'。
I'm not okay.
他会说'那我就将就了'。
He's gonna I'll take that.
或是那份压榨你、没人称赞、加薪申请提了20次都石沉大海的工作。
Or the job where they grind you down and nobody ever gives you any compliments and you're not really getting a raise and you've asked for it 20 times and they're not responding.
我认为人生需要适时审视、重新评估并做出改变。
Like, I think there are moments to look at your life, reevaluate, and change it.
我不是说想要那栋海滨别墅，羡慕别人的生活，永远不知足。
I'm not saying I want that beach house and I like what they have and I'm never gonna be satisfied.
不是的。
No.
我每天都对自己所拥有的感到满足。
I've been satisfied in my day to day every day with what I have.
我也可以做到这一点，同时展望未来，心想：好吧。
I can also do that and look ahead and go, okay.
我觉得自己值得拥有比现在更多的东西，所以我坚信我应该得到更多。
I feel like I'm worth more than what I have right here, so I'm going to I believe I deserve more.
说出这句话需要很大勇气。
And it takes a lot to say that.
真的需要很大勇气。
It takes a lot.
我是说，曾经有段时间我甚至怀疑自己是否配得上这一切。
I mean, there were times where I thought, do I deserve any of this?
我配得上这份工作吗？
Do I deserve this job?
我真的值得拥有它吗？
Do am I worthy of it?
我甚至配得上吗？我是说，梅尔，曾经有那么一刻，我甚至怀疑自己配不配拥有我的孩子？
Do I even deserve I mean, at one point, Mel, I thought, like, do I even deserve my kids?
我配得上他们吗？
Am I worthy of them?
就像，我以前确实有过这些想法，但现在我翻开了新的一页，意识到，是的。
Like, I thought those things before, and now I've kind of turned a page and realized that, yeah.
是的。
Yeah.
我确实配得上我的孩子，我也确实配得上那些。
I do deserve my kids, and I did deserve that.
那么认真听你所说的，让我确认下我是否理解正确，因为我认为这非常重要。
So in really listening to what you're saying, let me let me see if I'm tracking because I think that is really important.
当你谈到作为一个起点，'这足够好了吗？'
When you're talking about as just a starting ground, the is this good enough?
我们常犯的错误是向外寻找，比如工作啊这个那个等等。
The mistake that we make is we look outside and go, oh, at the things, the job, the this, the that, the other thing.
你实际上是在挑战我们深入思考，诚实地问自己：我对自己的感受、在这段关系中的感受、在这份工作中的感受，这样足够好吗？
You're actually challenging us to go deeper and to ask ourselves honestly, is how I feel about myself, how I feel in this relationship, how I feel in this job, is that good enough?
嗯。
Mhmm.
我在这里感受到尊重了吗？
Do I feel respected here?
我是否正以一种令人向往的方式被对待，这种方式让我感受到被爱？
Am I being treated in a way that's attractive attractive and and that that makes makes me me feel like I'm I'm loved?
或者我能诚实地对自己说，我不喜欢我
Or can I be honest with myself and say, I don't like how I
在
feel in
这段关系中的感受？
this relationship?
我不喜欢我在这份工作中的感受。
I don't like how I feel in this job.
你实际上是在邀请我们说，转变必须从这里开始，你值得拥有更好的东西，这会让你感觉不同。
And that you're actually inviting us to say that is where the shift has to happen, that there is something better that you are worthy of that will make you feel differently.
是不是
Is that
是的。
Yeah.
你确实一针见血地指出了关键所在。
That's that you put your finger on it squarely.
这就像是知道并意识到，你明白的，你需要停下来审视并评估你的关系。
It is like knowing and realizing that, you know, you kinda have to stop it down and see and evaluate your relationship.
真正地审视它，真正地审视你的工作，真正地审视你的生活。
Really look at it and really look at your job and really look at your life.
我的朋友瑞亚·施莱伯让我做了这个练习，它让我以这种方式审视我的生活。
My friend Rhea Schreiber had me do this exercise, and it it had me look at my life this way.
所以她说，好吧。
So she said, okay.
我要你拿一张纸，把它剪成许多小片。
I want you to get a piece of paper, and I want you to cut it up in a bunch of pieces.
我当时就说，好的。
I was like, okay.
我照做了。
I did that.
她说，在每一片上，写下你生活中需要你投入时间、关注和爱的部分，所有这些东西。
She goes, on each piece, I want you to write down a part of your life that requires your time, your attention, your love, all the things.
而且每张纸片的大小要对应你投入的时间、精力和努力。
And each piece should correspond to how much time, effort, energy you put in.
哦，所以纸片的大小不一样。
Oh, so the pieces of the paper are different sizes.
就像，好吧。
It's like, okay.
最大的那块。
The big one.
好的。
Okay.
有工作，或者照顾父母，或者是的。
There's job or there's taking care of my parents or there's Yes.
照顾孩子，或者好的。
Taking care of my kids or okay.
明白了。
Got it.
于是我开始写下'孩子'，那占了很大一块，最大的一块。
So I started writing down kids, and that was a big piece, the biggest piece.
工作是中等大小，然后是看望我妈妈、锻炼、照顾我的狗、旅行等等等等。
Work was, you know, medium sized and then it was visiting my mom, exercising, taking care of my dog, taking trips, blah blah blah blah.
我看着所有这些，她说：这就是你的生活。
So I looked at my whole thing and she goes, there's your life.
你觉得如何
How do you Is
你的孩子真的比你的工作更重要吗？
that Are your kids really bigger than your job?
我说，不是的。
And I go, No.
实际上，他们并不是。
Actually, they're not.
她说，那好，我们来调整一下这些。
She goes, Well, let's change those.
于是我们把这些对调了。
So we flipped those.
你真的花了那么多时间去看望你母亲吗？
And are you really spending that much time visiting your mom?
没有。
No.
好的。
Okay.
你为什么不调整一下呢？
Why don't you switch that?
你为什么不调整一下，让工作占比更大呢？
Why don't you switch that so make work even bigger?
完成后，我看着我的纸张，她说，这就是你的人生。
By the time it was done, I looked at my papers and she goes, that's your life.
你
Do you
喜欢这样吗？
like it?
这就是你将如何度过一生。
That's how you're gonna spend your life.
你刚刚向我展示了。
You've just shown me.
就在这里。
Here it is.
我看了看
And I looked at
我看着它，心想：暂停、停下、重新评估，然后审视。
it and I thought, pause, stop, reevaluate, and look.
所以工作这一块、家庭这一块，所有这些部分，突然间我以完全不同的方式看待自己的生活。
So the job piece, the family piece, all of these pieces, and all of a sudden I looked at my life in a totally different way.
所以我想说的是，把你的生活拿出来，试着360度全方位审视它。
So I think what I'm saying here is like, take your life and try to three sixty it.
你懂吗？
You know?
无论是你的感情关系、你的工作，还是它们如何相互契合，都要重新评估并审视一番。
Whether it is your relationship, your job, and how it all fits together, and then do a reevaluation and take a look at it.
否则，姑娘，你就会盲目走下去。
Because otherwise, girl, you'll be marching off.
你会一直走到尽头。
You'll be going to the end.
你会想，现在我90岁了。
You'll be like, and now I'm 90.
然后你会疑惑，为什么我当时没想清楚？
And you're like, why didn't I what was I thinking?
我本可以在那时做出改变的。
I could've gone could've changed them back there.
是的。
Yes.
但时间流逝得太快，所以需要适时停下脚步。
But the but it moves too quickly, so it's like a stop down.
这个练习就是让你停下生活列车的一种方法，没错。
That exercise is an example of one way that you can stop the train Yeah.
强迫自己去审视。
And force yourself to look.
是的。
Yes.
你知道吗，我想给你读一段你那本《纽约时报》畅销书《跳跃并寻找快乐》里的内容。
You know, I wanna read to you from your New York Times blockbuster bestselling book, Jump and Find Joy.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
我正在读引言部分，你说：'我真心相信，放下那些行不通的事情并追求你想要的，永远都不会太晚。'
I am reading from the introduction, and you say, I truly believe that it's never too late to let go of what you know isn't working and to go for what you want.
是啊。
Yeah.
那是什么意思？
What does that mean?
嗯，在那个特定情况下——再说一次，我很爱这个人，所以我不想对他有任何不敬。
Well, in that particular case, and again, I love this person, so I don't want it to be any kind of a slight against him.
但我提到的事情之一是我曾和一位名叫乔尔的优秀男士长期交往，他是个很好的人。
But this one of the things I was referring to is I was in a long relationship with a wonderful guy named Joel, who was a lovely human.
对我们的孩子来说是个很棒的父亲，诸如此类。
Great dad to the to our kids, all those things.
但有时候在一段关系中，它就是不再有效了。
But sometimes in a relationship, it just stops working.
或者你意识到随着成长和情况改善，某些东西就是无法深入理解。
Or you realize that as you grow and as things get better, something's not sinking in.
是啊。
Yeah.
而且，你知道的，我们尝试了所有方法。
And, you know, we tried all the things.
比如，有人建议每隔几年就重新认识你的伴侣。
Like, there was a guy who said, every couple of years, reintroduce yourself to your spouse.
嗨。
Hi.
我是梅尔。
I'm Mel.
你好。
Hi.
提前告诉你，我现在不喜欢Applebee's了。
Just so you know, I don't like Applebee's anymore.
我曾经很喜欢它。
I loved it.
现在我喜欢Outback。
I like Outback now.
我知道你总想带我去Applebee's。
I know you always wanna take me to Applebee's.
但我已经不喜欢了。
I'm over it.
明白吗？
K?
我知道那是我们曾经的回忆，但现在的我已经成长了。
I know that was our thing, but now I've grown, and I'm here now.
你知道，这些都是可以重新评估你们关系的角度。
You know, in all these ways that you can reevaluate your relationship.
我认为在经历了许多类似的事情后，总会到达一个节点，那时价值观可能不再一致，事物也可能不再契合。
And I think after a lot of those kinds of things, I think there comes a point where sometimes values don't align and sometimes things don't align.
所以，选择不同的道路也没关系。
And so you it's okay to take different paths.
我们选择了不同的道路，但它们是平行的道路。
We took different paths, but they're parallel paths.
比如，乔尔刚来过。
Like, Joel just came over.
他在万圣节陪孩子们玩。
He hung out with the kids on Halloween.
他还装扮了一番。
He dressed up.
所以他在孩子们生活中扮演重要角色，而我们这样更幸福。
So he's a big part of their lives, and we are happier in this way.
但我觉得有时这很重要，不过我不鼓励——不是让你审视配偶，我不鼓励那样做。
But I think it's important sometimes, and I don't encourage it's not like, you know, look at your spouse and I don't encourage that.
但我认为确实会有这样一个时刻，你会对自己说，这里本质上没有什么错。
But I think there does come a point where you say to yourself, there's nothing innately wrong here.
有时候是那些缺失的安静部分，而不是说，你知道，一切都很好。
Sometimes it's the quiet parts that aren't there and not in a, you know, everything was fine.
你知道吗？
You know?
嗯，我很高兴我们从这里开始，我会告诉你为什么。
Well, I love that we're starting here and I'll tell you why.
好的。
Okay.
因为重塑的过程要么是被迫的——当有人做了可怕的事导致关系结束，或是你爱的人不在了，类似这样的事迫使你改变；
Because the act of reinvention is either something that will be forced on you because somebody does something terrible and the relationship's over, or somebody, that you love is no longer here, or something like, it's either forced on you.
是的。
Yes.
当你的孩子长大时，你也会被迫改变。是的。
It's forced on you when your kids grow up and Yes.
当经济衰退来袭时，行业变革会迫使你做出改变。
Move It's forced on you when It's industries forced on you when a recession hits.
当有人离世时，生活会迫使你改变。
It's forced on you when somebody dies.
或者这是你主动给予自己的改变。
Or it's something that you give yourself.
正如你所说，你随时可以停下那辆在轨道上疾驰的列车。
And when you said, really, you can at any moment stop the train that is barreling down the tracks.
你随时可以将生活拆解成碎片，诚实地问自己：这真的是我度过时间的方式吗？我的感受如何？嗯。
You can at any moment break your life into these pieces and honestly ask yourself, is this actually how I spend my time and how do I feel Mhmm.
在每一个生活领域中都是如此吗？
In each one of these areas?
所以你指的是那种允许自己感受价值、快乐，并以新方式获得满足的许可。
And so what you're pointing to is the permission to feel worthy and joy and to feel fulfilled in new ways.
任何曾经是家庭主妇的女性，在养育孩子后若悄然萌生'我想做更多'的念头时。
And any woman that's ever had children who was a stay at home mom who quietly starts to feel like, I wanna do more.
这正是重塑自我的时刻，因为并非有什么问题存在。
That is the exact same moment of reinvention because it's not that there's anything wrong.
这是件美好的事。
It's a beautiful thing.
如果你有条件在家陪伴孩子，那是非常棒的事。
It's an amazing thing if you can afford to stay home with your kids.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但有一种非常安静的声音在啃噬着你，我相信那就是——我认为我们将要连接的这些点——正是你应得的丰盛。
But there's something that's very quiet that is gnawing at you that just and what I believe that is, and I think the dots that we're gonna connect, is that that is this abundance that is available to you.
那就是你值得拥有某些东西的事实。
That is the fact that there is something you're worthy of.
你可以主张你应得的东西，而不必贬低你正在离开的事物——无论是养育、关系还是工作。
And you can claim what you're worthy of without making the thing, whether it's parenting or the relationship or the job that you're leaving, unworthy.
你明白我的意思吗？
You see what I mean?
百分百认同。
A 100.
百分百认同。
A 100.
而且我认为，整个事情的第一步就是大声说出来，哪怕是耳语般的声音，哪怕是对着浴室的镜子自言自语，哪怕是对你的狗狗华夫说。
And I think too, it's like the first piece of the whole thing is speaking it out loud even if it's a whisper, even if it's to yourself in the bathroom mirror, even if it's to your dog, Waffles.
这些都无关紧要。
It doesn't matter.
关键是把这件事说出来。
Like speaking the thing out loud.
那件事到底是什么？无论对你而言是什么，对我来说——是的。
What is the thing that that Whatever your thing is, for me Yeah.
就是我生命中缺失的、曾因生活困境而认为自己永远无法拥有的——没错。
One of the things that was missing in my life that I did not believe I could ever have because of life's challenges Yeah.
就是成为母亲这件事。
Was motherhood for me.
我早年经历了一些人生挑战。
I had, you know, gone through some challenges early in my life.
我曾患乳腺癌并经历了离婚，熬过了这些难关，却错过了那班人生列车。
I had breast cancer and a divorce and went through those things, and I had missed that train.
这让我备受打击。
And it was crushing me.
打击沉重。
Crushing me.
但我将这份渴望深埋心底，因为它对我遥不可及。
But I buried it so deep down because it was not available to me.
我绝口不提，因为说出来又有什么意义？既然永远无法实现，何必说出口？
I was not going to speak about it because if I spoke it, and why would I say something that would never come to be?
直到某天，那时我已年过五十。
So one day, I was in my fifties.
记得是51岁那年，我和一位挚友沿着海滩散步。
I was 51, I think, and I was walking down the beach with a good friend of mine.
她叫珍·米勒，我深爱着她，她就像是大家的母亲一样。
And her name is Jen Miller and I love her so much and she's kind of a mother to everybody.
我们聊着生活，当时刚参加完一个婴儿洗礼会，她随口说道，哦，我们其实从没想过要孩子。
And she said casually as we were talking about life and we were just at a baby shower and she goes, oh, we didn't we never wanted kids.
我停下来看着她，说，其实，珍，我一直都有点这样。
And I stopped and I looked at her and I said, actually, Jen, I I kinda always did.
而她说，但你从未提起过这件事。
And she said, but you've never said that.
我说，但我不想说出来，因为这就像说我想当宇航员之类的。
And I said, but I don't wanna say it because it's like I wanna be an astronaut or whatever.
这不可能实现。
It's not happening.
然后她接着说，这就是为什么你总说想当小学老师的原因吗？
And she goes and she goes, is that why you always said you wanted to be a teacher of elementary school kids?
我说，是的。
I said, yeah.
她说，这就是你说想办夏令营的原因吗？
She goes, is that why you said you wanted to run a summer camp?
我说，是的。
I said, yeah.
她说，天啊。
She goes, oh my god.
所以我不断对自己说，不敢相信我居然说出来了。
So I I kept saying to myself, I can't believe I said it.
我回家后，把这话大声说了出来。
And I go home, speak it out loud.
我回到家打开了电视或类似的节目。
I go home and I turned on access or something like that.
而桑德拉·布洛克刚刚从新奥尔良收养了一个名叫路易的婴儿。
And Sandra Bullock had just adopted a baby named Louie from New Orleans.
我当时想，桑德拉·布洛克多大了？
I was like, how old is Sandra Bullock?
我心想，天啊。
I'm like, oh my god.
她和我同龄。
She's my exact age.
这是有可能的。
It's possible.
所以这个秘密，这个你不能拥有，别说出来因为你得不到的东西。
And so this secret, this you can't have it, don't say it because you can't have it.
我说出来了。
I said it.
所以我就觉得，那真奇怪。
So I was like, that was weird.
于是我想，这是个征兆吗？
So I was like, is that a sign?
结果我看了别的电视节目，里面有个小男孩，那个画面我记得特别清楚鲜明。
So I ended up watching something else on TV, and there was this little boy, and I remember the image so clearly and vividly.
展开剩余字幕（还有 480 条）
他在叙利亚，浑身沾满了煤灰。
He was in Syria, and he was covered with soot.
他在哭泣，场面非常可怕。
And he was crying, and it was terrible.
他的父母已经去世了。
And his parents had died.
我看着那个孩子，心想，就是那个孩子。
And I looked at that kid, and I was like, that kid.
那个孩子需要我。
That kid needs me.
我在想，我在这里做什么呢？
Like, I'm not like, what am I doing here?
有些孩子需要我，就像我需要他们一样。
There are kids who need me too just as much as I need them.
在我大声说出这些话后，事情一件接一件地发生了。
And one by one, after speaking those words out loud, things were happening.
于是我就这样出发了。
And so here I go.
我开始了收养程序。
I start the adoption process.
51岁的我在填写文件。
I'm 51 filling out papers.
这到底是怎么回事？
Like, what is happening here?
梅尔，我正坐在办公桌前想着这事永远不可能成真，这时电话响了。
Mel, I am, like, sitting at my desk because it's never happening, and the phone rings.
电话那头的女士说出了英语中最让我心动的两个字。
And the lady on the other end of the phone says my two favorite words in the English language.
她说：她来了。
She says, she's here.
海莉·凯恩。
Hayley Cain.
这仅仅是因为我说出了口。
This was solely because I spoke it out loud.
我向你保证，如果我像对待生命中其他遥不可及的事物那样将其埋藏心底——但当你说出口时，宇宙的法则就会改变，这确实改变了我的人生。
I promise you, if I would have buried it like I've buried other things in my life because it's out of my reach, something about saying it in the universe changes things, and it changed it for me.
所以，我想对那些正在聆听的、可爱又了不起的听众说：一切还不算太晚。
So, I mean, what I guess I'm saying to your lovely, incredible listener who's here is, it's not too late.
还不算太晚。
It's not too late.
无论你脑海中或灵魂里承载着什么，记住：不行。
Whatever you have in your brain or in your soul that you're carrying, like, no.
不行。
No.
不能那样做。
Can't do it.
说出来就好。
Just say it.
无论如何说出来，看看会发生什么。
Say it anyway and see what happens.
我觉得我们总是把心事埋藏起来，但把它们挖出来并尝试表达是件好事。
Like, I think we bury things, and I think it's good to unearth them and give them a go.
你知道吗，你刚才说‘说出来因为会有变化’时，我脑海里浮现的画面是这样的——是的。
You know, the the the visual that came to mind as you were saying, say it because something happens Yes.
当你说出来时，我立刻想到一扇被打开的门。
When you say it, is I I had this image immediately of a door that you open.
当你把某些事深埋心底不说，因为你确信错过了时机，确信为时已晚，确信对你这样的人行不通时，你就是那个...嗯。
And when you bury something deep in you and you don't say it because you you are convinced you missed the window, you're convinced it's too late, you're convinced it won't work out for somebody like you, you are the one Mhmm.
一直把门关着的人。
That keeps the door closed.
但当你大声说出来时，你就打开了那扇门，让能量得以流动。
But when you say it out loud, you have just opened up the door, which allows the energy to shift.
以及各种可能性。
And the possibilities.
我现在家里有一个八岁和一个六岁的孩子。
I mean, I've got at home now an eight year old and a six year old.
想想看这意味着什么。
Think about that for a second.
就因为那次在海滩上的对话，我有了一个上三年级、万圣节会打扮成圣徒队啦啦队员的八岁女儿——天知道她将来会成为什么样的人——还有一个六岁的孩子。
Because of that conversation, that one day on the beach, I have an eight year old who is in third grade who dressed up like a saints cheerleader for Halloween and who is, you know, god knows what she's gonna be, and I've got a six year old.
而我生命中最美好的两件事，都源于一次不畏惧的低语。
And the two greatest things in my life happened because of a whisper, of a of a not being afraid.
我觉得，正如你所说，恐惧正是阻碍我们所有人的东西。
And I think, you know, when you talk about, like, fear is is what is holding us all back.
我深信，对于那些梦想创业的人而言，无论是什么行业。
And I am just convinced that for anybody who's dreaming about opening a business, doesn't matter what it is.
我还没考虑重返大学的事。
I don't get going back to college.
你明白吗？
You know?
我该试试吗？
Should I try that?
我该开家花店吗？
Should I open the flower shop?
哦，不。
Oh, no.
我不知道。
I don't know.
我不知道。
I don't know.
直接说出来然后尝试做点什么看看，因为你知道如果呆在家里会怎样吗？
Just freaking say it and try something and see because you know what's gonna happen if you're sitting at home?
什么都不会发生。
Nothing.
什么都不会发生。
Nothing.
什么都没发生。
Nothing's happening.
所以大胆尝试然后看看结果。
And so swing for it and then see.
至少你尝试过了，我认为这正是关键所在。
At least you've tried, and I think that's I think that's one of them.
但敞开的门是因为你是对的。
But the open door is it because you're right.
是你自己把门锁上的。
You're the one who's locking it close.
是你在说‘不’。
You're the one who's saying, no.
这事不会发生在你身上。
It's not gonna happen to you.
是的。
Yes.
你就是那个人。
You're the one.
因为是你，是你阻断了所有可能性的发生。
Because you you're the one that blocked all the possibilities that it could.
听着，在你观看的同时，我希望你这样做。
You know, as you're listening and watching, here's what I want you to do.
你生命中存在着某个人，因为我深感震撼的是你能准确识别出那个特定时刻，那次具体对话。
There is somebody in your life, because I'm so struck by the fact that you can identify the exact moment, the exact conversation.
火车正沿着海滩行驶。
The train is going down the beach.
通常来说，什么也别说。
Normally, don't say anything.
嗯，是的。
And Yeah.
你会想，哇，等一下。
You're like, woah, wait a minute.
我其实想要
I actually want
孩子。
kids.
是的。
Yes.
然后你停下了。
And you stop.
我看得一清二楚。
I can see it as clear as day.
你停下了。
You stop.
我们都有过这样的经历：你转向朋友说，你在那段婚姻里真的幸福吗？
We've all had that walk where you turn to a friend and go, aren't you really happy in that marriage?
嗯。
Mhmm.
你打算什么时候辞掉那份工作？
When are you gonna leave that job?
就像，你知道的，某些事情。
Like, you know, Something.
就像某些事情一样。
Just like Something.
但我需要你，因为我知道你正在对自己说些什么，就听着霍达现在说的，我告诉自己不能创业。
But I want you, because I know there's something you're saying to yourself, just listening to Hoda right now, I've told myself I can't start a business.
我告诉自己再也找不到爱情了。
I've told myself I'll never find love again.
我告诉自己不能有孩子。
I've told myself I can't have children.
我无法成为父母。
I can't be a parent.
我告诉自己有些事情对我来说是不可能的。
I've told myself that there is something that it is not possible for me.
现在我要你这样做。
And here's what I want you to do.
我希望你立即将这一集分享给你生活中信任的人，并告诉他们：我刚听完与Hoda这段精彩的对话，它让我意识到自己一直在阻碍重新找到爱情的可能性。
I want you to share this episode right now with somebody that is in your life that you trust and say, I just listened to this incredible conversation with Hoda, and it made me realize that I've been blocking the possibility of ever finding love again.
我一直在阻碍重新开始的可能性。
I've been blocking the possibility of starting over.
我一直在阻碍摆脱债务的可能性，我需要告诉我信任的人，所以我告诉你。
I've been blocking the possibility of getting out of debt, and I needed to tell somebody I trusted, and so I'm telling you.
当你向拥有这件事的可能性敞开心门时，观察生活中会发生什么变化。
And watch what happens in your life when you open the door to the possibility that you could have this thing.
我认为我们如此渴望那些本就属于我们的事物。
And I think we want things so much that are meant for us.
嗯。
Mhmm.
过去我之所以会关上心门，其中一个原因就是想到允许自己去渴望却无法实现，这种感觉太痛苦了。
That one of the reasons why I know I've closed the door in the past is because the thought that I would allow myself to want it and it wouldn't happen feels too painful.
就是这样。
That's it.
这就是全部。
That's the whole thing.
就像，但如果我敞开心扉，梅兰霍塔 是啊。
Like, but if I open the door, Melanhota Yeah.
如果它没有发生，那又怎样？
And it doesn't happen, then what?
是啊。
Yeah.
那 那你就继续过现在的生活。
Then Then you have the life you have now.
是的。
Yes.
没错。
Right.
一切都没变。
Nothing's changed.
是的。
Yes.
你刚刚说出来了。
You just spoke it out loud.
我觉得就像你说的，关于那份不合适的工作。
I think the whole idea about the like you said, the job that's not working.
就像我喜欢的一个说法——换盆。
It's like there's this phrase I love, which is just repotting.
就像你把自己连根拔起。
It's like you're pulling yourself up by the roots.
当你悬在半空中时，天啊。
And when you're in the air Oh my.
你害怕得要命。
You're scared to death.
你会想，天啊。
You're like, oh god.
没有水了。
There's no water.
我要死了。
I'm I'm gonna die.
我要死了。
I'm gonna die.
我悬在这里。
I'm up here.
我的根须在胡乱摆动。
My roots are flailing.
然后被轻轻放入一个更大、养分更丰富的花盆里。
And then gently placed into a bigger pot, nutrient rich.
土壤很肥沃。
The soil's good.
它正在吸收养分。
It's soaking up.
你会想，等一下。
You're like, wait a minute.
哦，看看这边的情况。
Oh, look what it's like over here.
我以为如果离开这个小花盆，我就会死掉。
I thought if I left this little pot, I was gonna be dead.
而你发现你只是需要成长的空间。
And what you found is you just needed room to grow.
我是说，你心灵的扩展能力是无可估量的。
I mean, your heart's ability to expand is beyond measure.
我以为在女儿们出生前，我已经拥有所有能承受的爱了。
I thought I had all the love I could handle before my girls.
我当时想，我有一个很棒的家庭。
I was like, I have a great family.
有个很棒的男朋友。
Have a great boyfriend.
我有只超可爱的小狗。
I have a great puppy.
非常非常非常非常非常棒
Have a great great great great great
而且这都是真的。
And it's all true.
这都是真的。
It's all true.
但当你敞开心扉，涌向你的爱会多到超乎想象，那甚至超出了我最狂野的梦境。
But when you crack it open, the amount of love that will come toward you that you had no idea was even possible, it was so out of the realm of even my wildest I couldn't dream that big.
就像，我的大脑无法想象那种可能，但我现在却真实地过着那样的生活。
Like, I couldn't my my my brain wouldn't take me there, but yet I'm actually living that life.
我经常想，如果当初没有那次谈话会怎样？
And I I often think, what would have happened if I didn't have that conversation?
如果我没有在人生中做出那些重大跨越和决定，会发生什么？
What would have happened if I didn't there were many leaps and things I took in life.
如果我当初太过恐惧，又会怎样？
What would have happened if I if I was too afraid?
我现在会在哪里？
Where would I be?
我是说，我能想象出那种生活。
I mean, I could picture my life.
我可能会嫁给一个不该嫁的人。
I would be probably married to someone who I shouldn't have been.
我可能从事着一份还行的工作，生活被局限在某种框架里。
I probably would have been working in a job that was okay, and my life would have had this kind of a parameter.
对。
Right.
是啊。
Yeah.
我想回过头来不断强调一个事实，当你在倾听和观察时，不要忽略这一切始于你让列车暂停的那一刻
Well, I wanna just go back and keep circling back to the fact that as you're listening and watching, you don't miss that this begins with you stopping the train for a
稍等，嗯。
second Mhmm.
然后你问自己，我对目前的生活感受如何？
And you asking yourself, how do I feel in my life?
嗯。
Mhmm.
我现在的感受足够好吗？
And is how I feel good enough?
嗯。
Mhmm.
因为CODA要告诉你，这还不够好。
Because CODA is here to tell you it's not good enough.
嗯。
Mhmm.
有一种更丰富、更深刻、更深远且对你而言可能实现的东西存在。
And there is something that is so much richer and deeper and more profound and possible for you.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但这始于那个安静的承认——是的，好吧，这样也可以。
But it begins with that quiet admission that, yeah, okay, this is okay.
这是一种美好的生活。
This is a good life.
嗯。
Mhmm.
而且。
And.
梅尔，我认为你也在试图...因为有时你会考虑要不要冒险一试，或者我该不该行动？
I think it's also, Mel, you're trying to because sometimes you can think about taking a leap or should I go?
而有时候，你的冒险就是在原地起跳又落下。
And sometimes your leap is up where you are and back down.
是的。
Yeah.
实际上，你现在所处的位置对你来说再完美不过了。
You actually are in a place that is perfect for you.
没错。
Yeah.
有时候，飞跃不一定要向外。
Sometimes the leap doesn't have to be out.
它可以是一周内的向上着陆。
It can be up a week landing.
就是这样。
This is it.
有时候我只是需要一个不同的视角。
Sometimes I just needed a different point of view.
实际上，我正处在应该待的地方。
I'm actually exactly where I should be.
我认为这一点非常、非常重要，值得深思。
And I think that's very, very important to think about.
我是说，你看，我当时在《今日秀》节目上，蹦蹦跳跳地说，还有什么比此时此刻更好的呢？
I mean, look, I was, you know, at the Today show, and I was leaping up and down saying, what's better than right here?
没有。
Nothing.
我是说，其余的
I mean, the rest
我们来说，因为我觉得这正是你故事中另一个令人惊叹的地方。
of us, because I think this is another thing that's really amazing about your story.
你正处于职业生涯的巅峰。
You are at the height of your career.
你拥有嗯。
You have Mhmm.
最令人向往的工作之一。
One of the most coveted jobs Yeah.
在这个星球上。
On the planet.
我小时候，一直觉得你的工作是最棒的。
When I was growing up, I always thought the job that you had Yeah.
我是说，早间新闻的主播？
Was, like, the best I mean, the anchor of the morning shows?
什么？
What?
奥运会？
The Olympics?
今天是个好日子。
It's a good day.
能见到所有人？
Meeting everybody?
你们总是玩得很开心。
You guys are always having fun.
你能共事的人们。
The people you get to work with.
天啊。
Oh my god.
现在然后然后就像是，等等。
And now and and it's like, wait.
什么？
What?
霍达要走了？
Hoda's leaving?
等等。
Wait.
什么？
What?
所以我这么说是因为，你知道，发生了什么让你在一切巅峰时期甚至决定离开，就像，你知道吗？
And so so I am saying that because, you know, what happened that had you go even in the height of everything and like, to go, well, you know what?
我觉得还有别的原因。
I think there's something else.
我甚至不太确定那是什么。
I'm not even quite sure what it is.
是啊。
Yeah.
是有点奇怪。
It's kinda weird.
对吧？
Right?
嗯，不只是那样，这对我来说很奇怪因为我正在看着你。
Well, it's not only that it's it's it's not it's weird to me because I'm watching you.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
而且在你身边，在那个空间里。嗯哼。
And being in your presence and in that space Mhmm.
就像是为你量身定制的。
Like, it is custom made for you.
通过电视与HODA互动的体验，是亲自上电视与HODA互动的100倍。
What you experience through the television with HODA is is a 100 x what you experience being on television with HODA.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以当这种情况发生时，你是不是感到害怕？
And so when that happened, it must have like, was it were you afraid?
你是怎么放弃那些纸上看来完美无缺的机会，转而成为一家你正在全新领域创建的公司的CEO的？
Were you like, how did you walk away from what looked like was perfect on paper to become the CEO of a company that you are building in an entirely new space?
你知道有趣的是什么吗，有件事触动了我。
You know what's funny about well, something hit me.
对我来说这是几十年的积累。
It's about decades for me.
好吧。
Okay.
我在二三十岁时拼命工作，几乎贯穿了大部分岁月。
My thirties and twenties, worked my tail off, which and I worked through most of the decades.
四十岁对我来说是个棘手的阶段。
My forties was kind of my tricky one.
那时我患上了癌症。
It was I'd gotten sick with cancer.
我离婚了。
I got divorced.
五十岁就像，哇。
My fifties was like, wow.
孩子、萨凡纳，首个女性主播搭档。
Kids, Savannah, first female anchor team.
你知道吗？
You know?
就这样我即将步入六十岁，我在想，这个阶段又会是什么样呢？
It was like so then I was approaching my sixties, and I thought, well, what is what is this one gonna be like?
是啊。
Yeah.
现在它可能是一种延续。
Now it could be an extension.
我想，没错。
I thought, yeah.
为什么不呢？
Why not?
五十岁，六十岁。
Fifties, sixties.
是啊。
Yeah.
我们会继续前行。
We'll keep going.
时不时我会遇到这类事，但这就是六十岁。
And every now and then I got this kind of thing, but this is sixties.
比如，这个十年对我来说会是什么感觉？
Like, how is this decade going to feel for me?
我确实为此停顿了一下，认真思考了这个问题。
I actually paused down on that, and I thought about it.
我在想我希望它看起来是什么样子。
And I was thinking about how what I wanted it to look like.
我花了一些时间思考，你知道的，我在想我是否已经完成了一切，在《今日秀》还有更多事情要做吗？
And I took some time, and I was, you know, wondering is this have I done everything, and is there more to do at the Today Show?
我觉得我已经采访过所有最酷的人了。
I feel like I've interviewed all the coolest people.
我报道过奥运会。
I've done the Olympics.
我做过所有这些有趣的事情。
I've done all these fun things.
比如，还有更多事情等着我去做吗，或者说，保持现状也很好？
Like, is there more for me to do or, you know, is the same great?
你知道吗？
You know?
这样也很棒。
Could be great too.
然后奇怪的事情发生了。
And then something weird happened.
那是我六十岁的生日派对。
It was my sixtieth birthday party.
派对开始了，就在《今日秀》上，那是那种盛大的场面，人们举着自制的标语牌。
Was up to the party, and it was on the Today Show, and it was one of those big ones where people had signs they made.
他们开车来，我从明尼苏达开车来的。
They drove, I drove from Minnesota.
生日快乐，姑娘。
Happy birthday, girl.
也是我的生日。
My birthday too.
我当时感觉，就是，我超级喜欢。
I was like, like, I loved it.
我的全家人都飞过来了。
My whole family flew in.
那简直是一生难遇的经历。
It was like of a lifetime.
詹娜的父亲，布什总统送了我一幅画。
Jenna's dad, president Bush gave me a painting.
我哭得稀里哗啦。
I was sobbing.
我一直在哭，但当时有件怪事正在发生。
I was crying the whole time, but something weird was happening.
我姐姐，我最好的朋友，所有人都在场。
My sister, my best friend, everybody was there.
我在那里的时候，几乎有种灵魂出窍的感觉。
And while I was there, I was almost having an out of body.
我真的像是飘浮在空中。
I was literally, like, hovering above.
我就像是浪尖上的巅峰。
I was, like, the top of the wave.
我一直在想这就是巅峰时刻。
I kept thinking the top of the wave.
这就是人生的巅峰。
This is the top of the wave.
我能感受到它。
I could feel it.
我当时想，我浑身发冷。
I was like, I chill.
现在还在起鸡皮疙瘩。
Have chills now.
我当时觉得，这将是人生最美好的时刻了。
I was like, this is the best it's ever gonna be.
而我心知肚明。
And I knew it.
这份确信如同温暖的手掌贴合在我心口。
I knew it like warm hand on my heart.
我对此确信无疑。
I knew it for sure.
突然有某种情绪笼罩了我。
And something just came over me.
当我眺望远方时，心里想着：好吧。
And as I was looking out, I was thinking to myself, okay.
难道我在广场生日这天刚做了某个决定？
Did I just decide something on this birthday on the plaza?
比如，那真的发生了吗？
Like, that is that true?
于是，我让思绪沉淀，回家后继续反复思量这件事。
Like, I was so I let the day settle, went home, went you know, thought about it some more.
我和孩子们搬到了郊区，我看着他们在外面玩耍，爬树、做各种有趣的事情。
We'd moved out to the suburbs, me and my kids, and I was watching my kids play out in this you know, climb trees and do fun things.
我在想，是否还有另一种生活在等着我？
And I was like, Is there is there a different life awaiting me?
我六岁的小女儿霍普在前院的树上爬上爬下。
And my little girl, Hope, who was six, was climbing a tree in the front yard and up and down.
她来回爬着，我在旁边看着她。
She went and I was watching her.
我一直在想，我该怎么办？
I was just thinking about what am I going to do?
我该怎么办？
What am I going do?
看着她在那棵小树上爬上爬下，反复不停。
Watched her go up and down a little tree, up and down.
嗨，妈妈。
Hi, mom.
看。
Look.
我想着，哦，你又来了。
I'm like, oh, here you are again.
上上下下。
Up and down.
好吧。
Okay.
真不错。
Good for you.
然后她到了树顶，我说，霍皮，你到顶了。
And then she's at the top and I go, Hopi, you're at the top.
我问，你打算怎么办？
I go, what are you gonna do?
她看着我的表情好像在说，不骗你。
She looked at me like, kid you not.
她说，我想是时候找棵不同的树了。
She goes, I guess it's time to find a different tree.
我说，什么？
I go, what?
她说，一棵不同的树。
She goes, a different tree.
对吧，妈妈？
Right, mom?
我说，是啊。
I go, yeah.
另一棵树。
A different tree.
是啊。
Yeah.
没错。
Yeah.
于是我离开了，感觉心里满满的。
So I left, and I was like my heart was full.
我当时就想，天哪。
I was like, oh my gosh.
我想我已经决定了。
I think I've decided.
然后节目里有个演员，他正在谈论波浪。
And then there was some actor on the show, and he was talking about waves.
你知道那种感觉，当他说着关于浪潮的事，我在听。
And I everything was you know how it is when you say, he's talking about waves, I'm listening.
然后他说，霍达，让我告诉你这个。
And he goes, Hoda, let me tell you about this.
我乘上了奥斯卡的浪潮。
I rode the Oscar wave.
浪头很高。
It's high.
他告诉我，浪头虽高，但终会跌落。
And he was telling me he goes, and it's so high, but you know it's gonna crash.
对吧？
Right?
因为每道浪都是如此。
Because every wave does.
你乘浪而行，心想：太棒了。
And you ride it, and you're like, yes.
然后浪头就落下了。
And the wave goes down.
他说：于是我决定再次划水出发。
He goes, and then I made the decision to paddle back out.
于是我再次划水，乘上了下一道浪。
So I paddled back out and I rode the next wave in.
那道浪属于我的独立电影，充满乐趣。
And that one was my Indy and it was a fun one.
虽然小，但很有趣。
It was little, but it was fun.
下一波浪来时，你想划出去多少次都行，但每次遇到的浪都会不同。
And the next one, goes, you paddle out as many times as you want, but there'll be different waves.
所以我一直在思考这件事。
So I was thinking about it.
考虑到所有这些，我也开始思考我的'时间派'。
And so with all of that, and I also started thinking about like my time pie.
我当时想，我们每个人都分到了一块时间派。
I was like, We all get a time pie.
这就是我们如何分割它。
Here's how we carve it up.
我只有这一生，仅此而已。
And I have one life and that's it.
那么我打算怎么度过它呢？
So what am I gonna do with it?
这个时间馅饼是我想要的样子吗？
Is this time pie the way I want it?
我意识到它并不是我想要的样子。
And I realized it wasn't how I wanted it.
那一刻，我想到了孩子们步行上学、郊区的景象、创办一家新公司。
And in that moment, I thought about my kids walking to school, the suburbs, starting a new company.
我当时正在思考这些。
I was thinking about that.
这些想法在我脑海中酝酿着，一个小小的办公室。
I had that brewing in the back of my head, a little office.
我会送孩子们上学，然后步行去城里的办公室。
I'd walk my kids to school and walk to my office in town.
就像，我能看到这幅画面。
Like, I could see it.
因此，随着这些想法，我的决定变得越来越清晰。
And so with that, I made the decision became clearer and clearer.
我心想，如果我能安心入睡，我就知道这个决定是正确的。
And I thought to myself, if I can put my head on the pillow when I sleep, I know it's the right choice.
如果我辗转反侧、充满焦虑、犹豫不决。
If I'm tossing and turning and I don't know and angsty.
但是梅尔，我能睡着。
And, Mel, I could sleep.
我能...我能睡着。
I could I could sleep.
最困难的部分是告诉我妈妈，因为她喜欢看我（主持节目）。
I mean, the hardest part was telling my mom because she loves to watch me.
我喜欢你的穿搭。
I love your outfit.
简直太棒了。
It's so amazing.
这就是我当时的担忧。
Like, that was my worry.
你知道那种担心别人对你重大决定会有什么反应的感受吗？
You know how you worry about how other people will react to your big decisions?
是的。
Yes.
所以这就是我当时决定的方式。
So that's how I I decided in that moment.
当然也伴随着一些焦虑，是的。
It came with some angst, of course Yeah.
很多焦虑，但也有几分清醒。
Plenty, but also some clarity.
所以我觉得如果还有未完成的事，如果没能采访所有梦想中的人物，没能完成所有伟大的事，我可能会很懊恼。
So I I feel like if if I had unfinished business, if I hadn't have interviewed everyone I could have dreamt of and done all the great things, I probably would have been like, ugh.
你懂吗？
You know?
但我已经做了七八次万圣节特辑了。
But I'd done seven or eight Halloweens.
自都灵冬奥会以来，我已经参与过多次奥运会了。
I'd done plenty of Olympics since Torino.
我已经完成了，你知道的，所有这类事情，所以我内心很清楚。
I've done, you know, all that kind of stuff, so I knew inside.
哇。
Wow.
是啊。
Yeah.
我喜欢那种温暖的手放在心上的感觉。
I love that warm hand on heart.
没错。
Yes.
跟我详细说说这个，因为当你打开可能性之门时。
Talk to me about that because when you open the door to possibility Yes.
特别是现在你已经给了我们两个例子。
Even because now you've given us two examples.
嗯，其实，我我一直都想要孩子。
Well, actually, I I I always did want kids.
嗯。
Mhmm.
所以这是一扇正在打开的门。
So that's one door that's opening.
另一扇打开的门是，这就是最好的结果了。
Another door that opened is this is as good as it's gonna get.
嗯。
Mhmm.
而如果这就是最好的结果，这足够了吗？
And is if this is as good as it's gonna get, is this enough?
嗯。
Mhmm.
是的。
Yeah.
于是你打开了那扇门，看看是否还有不同的篇章。是的。
And so you open the door to is there a different chapter in Yes.
我的这一章虽然真的很精彩。
My Even though this one is really amazing.
然后浪潮就涌来了。
And then the waves are coming.
然后通过打开那扇可能性之门，当然发生的情况是，我又收到了'必须找到另一棵树'的信息，浪潮也随之而来。
And then by opening the door to that possibility, what happened, of course, is the I gotta find another tree message comes in, the waves come in.
你开始注意到自己甚至不在最重要的时刻。
You start to notice that you're not even in the biggest moment.
嗯哼。
Mm-mm.
你只是在观察你所处的状态。
You're just observing that you are.
是的。
Yes.
就这样，一切开始逐渐展开。
And that's how this starts to unfold.
而拥有那种知晓的感觉，这非常不寻常。
And to have the feeling of knowing, which is very unusual.
我从没想过自己会有那种感受，但你是对的。
I didn't think I would ever have that feeling, but you're right.
门一扇接一扇地打开，某种清晰感随之而来。
The doors opened one by one and there was some kind of clarity.
你知道，就是我们都有过的那种确信感。
You know, that feeling when we've all had a knowing.
嗯。
Mhmm.
你懂的。
You know it.
内心深处，如果我们足够安静地坐着，你就会明白。
Deep down, if if we sit quiet enough, you know.
你知道你应该在这里。
You know that you're supposed to be here.
我完全清楚自己该做什么，但我们太忙于冲刺，以至于无暇思考正在做的事。
I know exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, but we we're too busy sprinting to stop to to think about what we're doing.
就像，我五十岁这一章本可以继续下去，直到《今日秀》或我说‘非常感谢’为止。
Like, the the chapter of my fifties could have gone on until either the Today show or I said, thank you very much.
这是一段精彩的旅程。
It's been a great run.
再见。
Bye bye.
因为它即将到来。
Because there it is coming.
是的。
Yes.
它总是会来的。
It's always coming.
确实如此。
That's true.
你知道吗？
You know?
在每个人的职业生涯中，都会有这样一个阶段：你刚开始时，会惊叹不已。
There's a time in every career where you go, you start off, and you are like, wow.
哇。
Wow.
哇。
Wow.
哇。
Wow.
太神奇了。
It's amazing.
然后你会觉得，这太有趣了。
And then you should go, it's so fun.
还挺有趣的。
It's kinda fun.
好吧。
Okay.
天啊。
Oh god.
你知道吗？
You know?
我想我们都在努力坚持到最后。
And I think and I think we try to hang on to the end.
就像，你知道的，拼命坚持着。
It's like, you know, white knuckle hanging on.
就像在说，坚持住，伙计。
It's like, hang on, dude.
你明白吗？
You know?
也许在它跌落悬崖前接住它，因为这就是重力和生活。
Maybe catch it before it drops off the cliff because this is gravity and life.
万事万物皆如此。
Everything's that.
一切虚无即是此。
Everything Nothing is is this.
万事万物只是要意识到，我此刻就在这里。
Everything it's just recognizing, I'm here now.
哦，我在这里。
Oh, I'm here.
好的。
Okay.
这是个表达感谢的好地方。
This is a nice place to say thank you.
是啊。
Yeah.
你知道吗？
You know?
我认为这就是觉知，那种觉知。
I think it's knowing, like that knowing.
霍达，你状态火热啊。
Hoda, you are on fire.
我不想拖慢你的节奏，但我们需要短暂休息一下，听听我们优秀赞助商的消息。
And I don't wanna slow you down, but I do need to take a quick pause so we can hear a word from our amazing sponsors.
我也想给你个机会分享这场非凡对话——你生活中那些需要且值得看到更多可能性的人，也许你一直没能说服他们值得拥有更多，不如让霍达来打动他们？
And I also wanna give you a chance to share this extraordinary conversation because the people in your life who need and deserve to see a bigger possibility for themselves, maybe you haven't been able to convince them that they deserve more, how about you let Hoda convince them?
你可千万别走开。
And don't you dare go anywhere.
因为等霍达和我回来时，我们将和她一起穿越时空，你会听到霍达如何获得第一份电视工作的非凡故事。
Because when Hoda and I return, you and I are going back in time with her, and you're gonna hear this extraordinary story of how Hoda landed her first job in television.
这个故事不仅对你，对你生活中任何年轻人或那些想要放弃的人都必须一听。
This story is a must hear, not only for you, but for any young adult in your life or anyone who is feeling like they might just give up.
所以请别走开。
So don't go anywhere.
霍达和我将在短暂休息后等你回来。
Hoda and I will be waiting for you after this short break.
请继续关注我们。
Stay with us.
这个'让他们理论'是你能在这个节日季送出的最佳礼物。
The let them theory is the best gift you can give this holiday season.
这是送给那些不堪重负者的礼物，给那些讨好型人格的人，给那些背负太多的朋友，给那些因处理他人情绪而精疲力竭的兄弟姐妹，给那些需要喘息的同事。
It's the gift you give to someone who's overwhelmed, to the people pleaser, to the friend who carries way too much, to the sibling who's exhausted from dealing with everyone else's emotions, to the coworker who needs a break.
它意义深远，实用有趣，且能改变人生。
It's meaningful, it's practical, it's hilarious, and it's life changing.
为你清单上的每个人准备的'让他们去理论'。
The Let Them Theory for everyone on your list.
可在letthem.com及各大书店购买。
Available at letthem.com and wherever books are sold.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back.
我是你的朋友梅尔·罗宾斯。
It's your buddy Mel Robbins.
今天，我和独一无二的霍达·科特布一起在这里。
And today, you and I are here with the one, the only, Hoda Kotb.
我们要聊的主题是：一切为时未晚。
And we're talking all about the fact that it's not too late.
你随时都可以重塑自己的人生。
You can reinvent your life at any moment.
霍达，我们曾在许多相同的大型会议和企业活动上交流过，你讲述的那个关于大学毕业后第一份工作的故事非常精彩。
So Hoda, you and I have spoken at so many of the same big conferences and big corporate events, and you tell the most extraordinary story about landing your first job out of college.
现在能和我们分享那个故事吗？
Can you share that story with us right now?
我在弗吉尼亚理工大学时是个B减学生。
I was a B minus student at Virginia Tech.
好吧？
Okay?
我的SAT考试，分数勉强过线。
My SATs, I skimmed the trees barely making it.
好吧？
Okay?
我当时是个Tridel。
I was a Tridel.
我玩得很开心。
I had fun.
等等。
Yada.
是啊。
Yeah.
所以那并不是我大学时期的高光时刻。
So it wasn't my finest hour college.
我是说，那段时光确实挺开心的。
So let's I mean, it was fun.
但当我从弗吉尼亚理工毕业时——那时候学校还没有大型的传播学系——我就开始找工作，还借了妈妈的车，从亚历山德里亚的家开了一小时车到里士满去应聘。
But so when I graduated from Virginia Tech that did not have a big communications department at the time, I went looking for a job, and I borrowed my mom's car for a one hour trip from my house in Alexandria to Richmond to get hired.
我到了那里，穿着正装，感觉良好，然后和新闻总监握了手。
I roll up there, and I'm dressed up, and I'm feeling good, and then shake the news director's hand.
我说：我是霍达。
I'm like, I'm Hoda.
我当时想，我超爱这里。
I'm like, I love it here.
我要坐在那里。
I'm gonna sit there.
我要和那个男生约会。
I'm gonna date that guy.
就像，我都计划好了。
Like, I had it.
我当时就觉得，完事了。
I was, like, done.
那人接过我的录像带。
The guy takes my tape.
他把带子放进机器里。
He puts it in the machine.
开始播放。
He plays it.
又突然停下。
He stops it.
他说，天啊。
He goes, oh god.
你根本...你连里士满这种地方都还不够格。
You are why are you you're not even ready for Richmond.
你为什么要来这里？
Why did you come here?
我说，我是来参加面试的。
I go, I had the interview.
这是我唯一的面试机会。
I this is my only interview.
我只有这一次机会。
I only had one.
他说，嗯，你还没准备好。
He was like, well, you're not ready.
你太嫩了。
You're green.
谁推荐你来这里的？
Who sent you here?
这到底是怎么发生的？
How did we this even happen?
我在圣克拉拉有个朋友的朋友。
And I had a friend of a friend in Santa Clara.
是啊。
Yeah.
然后他说，等等。
And he goes, but wait.
我有个朋友。
I got a buddy of mine.
他正在罗阿诺克招人。
He's hiring in Roanoke.
我说，罗阿诺克，弗吉尼亚州。
I go, Roanoke, Virginia.
好吧。
Okay.
他说，如果你现在出发，他正要出差，是新闻总监的行程。
He goes, if you leave now, he's going on some trip, some news director's trip.
要我打电话告诉他你要过去吗？
Do you want me to call him and tell him you're coming?
我说，好的。
I said, yes.
那里距离里士满有四小时车程。
So it's four hours away from Richmond.
于是我给我妈打了电话。
So I called my mom.
我说，妈，我要借车用用。
I go, mom, I'm gonna borrow the car.
她没问，直接说，里士满那边怎么样？
I didn't she goes, how was Richmond?
我说，我不想去里士满。
Like, I don't want Richmond.
明白吗？
Okay?
没人想去里士满。
Nobody wants Richmond.
我想要罗阿诺克。
I want Roanoke.
所以我开车去了罗阿诺克。
So I drove to Roanoke.
我到了那里。
I roll up there.
我就想，好吧。
I'm like, okay.
我就坐在那儿。
I'll sit there.
我就和那家伙约会。
I'll date that guy.
我不在乎什么才是好的。
I don't care what's good.
那家伙拿走我的磁带，播放它，又停下。
Guy takes my tape, plays it, stops it.
然后，大概过了三十秒或一分钟，他说，你根本还没准备好去罗阿诺克。
After, I don't know, thirty seconds, a minute, he goes, you are so not ready for Roanoke.
他说，你太嫩了。
He's like, you're green.
你不行。
You're not good.
懂吗？
You know?
回头见。
See you later.
我正要走出去，他突然喊，等等。
And I'm like walking out, and he goes, woah.
等等。
Woah.
霍达，在你走之前，我有个朋友要介绍给你。
Hoda, before you go, I got a buddy of mine.
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