改变我人生的7个习惯

欢迎收听本期的思维导师播客。

Welcome to today's episode of the mindset mentor podcast.

我是您的主持人罗布·戴尔。

I'm your host, Rob Dial.

如果你还没有这样做，请点击订阅按钮，以免错过任何一期播客。

If you have not yet done so hit that subscribe button so you never miss another podcast episode.

我每周发布四期节目，帮助你学习、成长和提升自我，因为如果你能提升自己，就能改善你的生活。

I put out episodes four times a week to help you learn and grow and improve yourself because if you can improve yourself, you can improve your life.

所以，如果你也想这么做，请点击订阅按钮并持续关注。

So if that's what you wanna do, hit that subscribe button and follow along.

今天，我要谈谈七个帮助我整顿生活的思维习惯。

Today, I'm gonna be talking about seven different mindset habits that helped me get my life together.

如果你正在收听这个播客，那是因为你想改善自己的思维，因为你明白提升思维能改善你的生活。

If you're listening to this podcast, it's because you wanna work on your mindset because you know working on your mindset will improve your life.

那么，让我们开始吧。

So let's dive into it.

第一个，也是我认为最重要的一个，就是让我走到接受对自己人生完全负责的那一步。

The first one, which I think is one of the most important ones, is getting to the point of my life where I accepted full responsibility for my life.

在我人生的某个阶段之前，我最擅长找借口。

Up until a certain point in my life, I was the best person at making excuses.

我最擅长把责任推给别人。

I was the best person at blaming other people.

我太擅长告诉你，为什么这不是我的错，为什么我会变成这样，为什么我不成功，为什么我没有想要的生活。

I was so good at telling you why it wasn't my fault that I was this way or that I wasn't successful or that I didn't have the life that I want.

我以前讲过这个故事，但当时我和我的一对一教练正在进行一次辅导通话。

And I've told this story before, but I was on a coaching call with my one on one coach at the time.

那时我20岁，他既是我的心态教练，也是生活教练和销售教练。

I was 20 years old, and he was my mindset coach, life coach, sales coach.

在我的销售工作中，我的表现没有达到应有的水平，也没有打足够多的外呼电话。

And in my sales, I wasn't doing as well in my sales as was supposed to, and I wasn't doing as many outbound calls as I was supposed to.

我没有获得想要的成功，而且每次参加通话都稍微迟到，作业也都没完成。

I wasn't having the success that I wanted to have, and I was showing up a little bit late to all of our calls without my assignments done.

他跟我来了次像顿悟般的对话。

And he had this, like, coming to God moment with me.

我一辈子都记得这场对话，他说：‘罗布，如果一家公司倒闭了，是谁的错？’

And I remember this conversation for the rest of my life, and he said, Rob, if you look at a business and a business fails, whose fault is it?

我说：‘是老板的错。’

I was like, it's the business owner.

他接着说：‘好。’

He goes, okay.

假设这是一家大公司，有成千上万的员工。

Say it's a big business, like a really big business, thousands of employees.

如果这家公司倒闭了，是谁的错？

If the business fails, whose fault is it?

我说：‘嗯，我想是CEO的责任。’

And I was like, well, I guess that's the CEO's fault.

他说：‘好。’

He goes, okay.

如果一家企业成功了，它能让上千名员工朝着同一个目标努力并取得成功，那这是谁的错？

If a business succeeds, if a business is able to take a thousand people that work in this business, get them towards one common goal and the business succeeds, whose fault is that?

我当时说，嗯，这应该是所有在那里工作的人的错，但同时也是CEO的错，因为他带领大家走对了方向并取得了成功。

And I was like, well, it'd be everyone's fault who worked there, but it'd also be the the CEO's fault for getting everyone to go in the right direction and succeeding.

他说，好吧。

He said, okay.

所以如果企业失败了，那是CEO的错。

So if a business fails, it's the CEO's fault.

如果企业成功了，那也是CEO的错。

If a business succeed, it's the CEO's fault.

我说，是的。

I said, yes.

他说，好吧。

He said, okay.

如果你到了生命的尽头，发现这不是你想要的生活，回首时充满遗憾，没有获得你渴望的爱、幸福、快乐和成功，那这又是谁的错？

If you get to the end of your life and it's not the life that you wanted and you look back with regret and you didn't have the love and the happiness and the joy and success that you wanted, whose fault would that be?

我当时想，那肯定是我的错。

And I was like, that would be my fault.

他接着说，好吧。

And he goes, okay.

如果你活到生命的尽头，发现这正是你想要的生活，你拥有了快乐、幸福、爱、成功，一切你想要的东西，这就是你理想中的生活，那这又是谁的错呢？

If you got to the end of your life and it was the life that you wanted, you had the joy, the happiness, the love, success, everything you wanted, it was the life you wanted, whose fault would that be?

我当时想，我想这还是我的错。

And I was like, I guess that would be my fault.

他说，你的问题在于你没有把自己当成自己人生的CEO。

He goes, the problem with you is that you're not acting like you're the CEO of your life.

你总是觉得一切都是别人的错。

You're acting like it's everybody else's fault.

没有人会来救你。

Nobody is coming to save you.

穿上你的大人的裤子，真正开始为自己做点什么吧。

Put on your big boy britches and actually start to do something with yourself.

我当时就想，就在那一刻，我生命中的一切都豁然开朗了，我心想，十，四。

And I was like it was like, at that moment, everything clicked in my life, and I was like, ten, four.

我明白了。

I got it.

所以，如果你还在外面说，我无法控制这一切，这是妈妈的错，是爸爸的错，是配偶的错，是政府的错，是总统的错，那你永远得不到你想要的生活。

And so if you're out there and you're still saying I can't control this, it's my mom's fault, it's my dad's fault, it's my spouse's fault, it's the government's fault, it's the president's fault, you're not gonna get to the life that you want.

你必须对自己的人生负起全部责任。

You have to accept full responsibility for your life.

你必须停止归咎于外部环境，真正地为自己的人生担起责任。

You have to stop blaming external circumstances and finally take ownership for your life.

这会帮你摆脱受害者心态——我曾经多年都陷在这种心态里。

And this will shift you from having a victim mindset, which I had for years.

我曾经是个十足的受害者。

I was such a victim.

所有错都是别人的，跟我自己无关。

It was everybody else's fault but my own.

从受害者转变为有力量的人。

From being a victim to being an empowered person.

因为当一切责任都在你身上时，当你对一切负责时，就意味着你才是掌控者，你可以为自己的选择和行动负责。

Because when everything is your fault, when everything's your responsibility, it means that you're the one that's in control, and you can hold yourself accountable for the choices that you make towards the actions that you take.

你可以明白，这种责任并不应该让你崩溃。

And you can understand that that responsibility is not something that should cripple you.

实际上，正是这种责任让你能够掌控自己的生活，坐上驾驶座，创造你想要的人生。

It's actually the responsibility that leads to you controlling over your life, to getting in the driver's seat and creating the life that you want.

所以，你要与过去的错误和解，把它们当作学习的工具，放下过去，从这一刻起，我才是自己生活的掌控者。

And so you just make peace with your past mistakes, use them as learning tools, get past it, let it go, and say from this moment forward, I'm the one that's in control of my life.

所以，第一件事是为我的生活承担全部责任。

So the first thing is accepting full responsibility for my life.

第二件事是培养与之相伴的成长型思维。

The second thing was developing a growth mindset that goes along with this one.

但成长型思维基本上就是相信，无论我做什么，我都能成长，都能不断进步，一切皆有可能。

But a growth mindset is basically the idea that I know that no matter what I do, I can grow, I can continue to get better, everything.

我手腕上有一个纹身，是一个带横线的X，代表罗马数字10000，因为我非常喜欢‘一万小时定律’这个理念——意味着只要你对任何事情投入一万小时专注而持续的练习，你就能成为这方面的专家。

I have a tattoo on my wrist that's an x with the line above it, which is the Roman numeral for 10,000 because I love the idea of the ten thousand hour rule, which means that with ten thousand hours of dedicated, focused practice work at anything, you could become a master at it.

可能并不正好是一万小时，可能会少一点，也可能多一点，具体取决于事情本身，但你完全可以掌握任何你想掌握的东西。

Might not be exactly ten thousand hours, might be a little bit less, it might be a little bit more depending on what it is, but you can master anything that you want to.

对我来说，我之所以喜欢这个理念并把它纹在手腕上，是因为多年前我意识到，我想尽可能接近成为名叫‘罗布’的这个人的大师。

And for me, the reason why I love this and I got it tattooed on my wrist was because for me, I realized years ago that I want to get as close to mastery of this guy named Rob.

如果是这样，我就必须非常非常专注地努力提升这个‘罗布’。

And if that's the case, I'm gonna need to be very, very focused on trying to improve this guy.

我相信，我们所有的能力和智力都可以得到提升。

I believe that that all of our abilities and all of our intelligence can improve.

我不相信‘老狗学不会新把戏’这种说法。

I don't believe in the phrase you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

神经可塑性与科学已经证明这种说法是错误的。

Neuroplasticity and science proves that that's false.

因此，我现在想做的是直面我的挑战，意识到我生命中所有挑战，所有最大的困难，最终都转化成了我最大的学习机会。

And so now what I wanna do is I wanna look at my challenges and realize that all the challenges, all my biggest challenges in my life have come and turned into my biggest learning opportunities.

我想审视所有这些挑战。

I wanna look at all of those challenges.

我想审视这些错误，从中汲取教训，而不是把自己看作一个失败者，而是说：好吧。

I wanna look at those mistakes and and pull the lessons from them instead of looking at myself as a failure, but go, okay.

我在那件事上搞砸了。

I messed up on that.

我该如何成长？

How can I grow?

我该如何变得更好？

How can I get better?

我该如何在每件事上保持成长型思维？

How can I have a growth mindset with everything that I do?

我该如何寻求反馈，以了解如何改进？

How can I look for feedback on how I can improve?

我该如何利用身边的一切作为成长的机会？

How can I use as many things around me as an opportunity to grow?

我怎样才能让自己周围都是比我优秀的人，让他们通过自身的榜样激励我变得更好？

How can I surround myself with people that are better than me so that they inspire me to be better by looking at them and going, you know what?

我也能像他们那样。

I could be like them.

他们激励了我。

They inspire me.

我想成为那样的人。

I wanna be like that person.

我怎样才能找到那些成功的人，他们可能还活着，或者已经去世但积累了丰富的智慧？

How can I find people that are successful individuals that are still alive or maybe successful individuals that that died or had a whole lot of wisdom?

我怎样才能阅读和聆听他们的经历，向他们学习，从而有望达到一个境界：感觉自己是一个充满智慧、能够与他人分享知识的人？

And how can I read and listen to them and learn from them so that, hopefully, I can get to a point where I feel like I am a a being that's full of wisdom that has knowledge to share with others?

我怎样才能不断突破自己的舒适区，以这种成长型思维寻找成长的机会？

How can I keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone so that I can look for ways to grow with this growth mindset?

所以，另一个真正改变我人生的重要事情，就是培养成长型思维，而不是固定型思维。

So And that's another one of the big things that really changed my life is developing a growth mindset versus a fixed mindset.

固定型思维就是：我就是这样的。

A fixed mindset is like, well, I am the way that I am.

我会一直这样下去。

I'm gonna be this way forever.

我不相信这一点。

I don't believe that.

我们可以把自己变成任何想要的样子。

We can turn ourself into anything that we want to.

这是作为人类最美好的事情之一。

That's one of the most beautiful things about being a human.

所以这是第二点。

So that's number two.

第三点，过去大概三年里，这彻底改变了我的人生。

Number three, this really changed my life over the past probably three years.

我以前就听说过，要练习感恩。

And so I heard about this, you know, practicing gratitude before.

我当时想，这挺可爱的。

I was like, that's cute.

这太棒了。

That's awesome.

但要是我太感恩了，我就没动力了。

But, like, if I'm too grateful, I'm not gonna be motivated.

如果我对拥有的东西太过感恩，我就不会继续为想要的东西努力了。

If I'm like so grateful for the stuff that I have, I'm not gonna keep working for the what I want.

所以我一直把感恩推到一边，直到后来我意识到，我确实在取得成功、变得更好，但并没有更快乐。

So I like kept kind of pushing gratitude off for a while, and then I realized that, you know, I was succeeding and I was getting better, but I wasn't any happier.

更多的成功并没有让我感到快乐。

And it didn't make me happy to have more success.

更多的钱也没有让我感到快乐。

It didn't make me happy to have more money.

买更多的东西也没让我开心。

Didn't make make me happy to buy more shit.

于是我心想，你知道吗？

And so I was like, you know what?

我要每天练习感恩。

I'm gonna practice gratitude every single day.

所以第三点就是每天练习感恩。

And that's number three is practicing gratitude every single day.

于是我每天醒来都会专注于感恩。

So I woke up and I would focus on gratitude every single day.

寻找我生活中任何值得感激的事情。

Find anything in my life I could be grateful for.

有时候我对人们说，我还没有获得想要的成功或幸福，或者其他任何东西。

And people are like sometimes I say to people like, well, I I don't have all the success that I want or the happiness that I want or whatever it might be.

我说，无论你的生活处于什么状态都没关系。

And I'm like, doesn't matter where your life is.

如果你在听这个播客，你就有一百万件事值得感恩。

If you're listening to this podcast, you have a million things to be grateful for.

最大的两点是，你的心还在跳动，你还在呼吸。

And the biggest ones are that your heart's still breathing, and you're still a heart's still beating, and you're still breathing.

这两点是你每天可以关注的最重要的事情。

Those are the two biggest things you could focus on every single day.

天哪。

Oh my god.

我今天醒来了。

I woke up today.

这太棒了。

That's amazing.

然后你可以看看，天气好吗？

Then you can look at, is the weather nice?

你有没有喝到一杯很棒的咖啡？

Did you, you know, have a great cup of coffee?

你不必非得为巨大的事情感到感恩。

Doesn't have to be huge things that you can be great grateful for.

它能改变你的思维方式。

And what it does is it shifts your mindset.

人们总是问，我该如何从匮乏心态转变为富足心态？

People always say, like, how do I shift my mindset from scarcity to abundance?

你只需专注于感恩。

You focus on gratitude.

因为当你专注于感恩时，你会开始看到自己生活有多么富足，多么美好。

Because when you focus on gratitude, you start seeing how rich your life actually is, how amazing your life actually is.

如果你想记录积极的时刻，可以保持一本感恩日记。

You can keep a gratitude journal if you want to to track positive moments.

你可以每天早上列出三件你感激的事情。

You can start your day by listing three things you're grateful for.

你可以发现每天你所欣赏的每一件事物。

You can find all of the things that you're you're appreciating every single day.

但最重要的是，我喜欢的做法是，每天早上醒来后，花几分钟闭上眼睛。

But more than anything else, like, what I like to do is I just wake up in the morning, and I take a few minutes, and I just close my eyes.

然后我就会做一些深呼吸，静静地思考我所感激的事情。

Then I just do some breathing, deep breathing, and I just think of things that I'm grateful for.

有时候是大事，有时候是小事，有时候是介于两者之间的事情。

Sometimes it's big things, sometimes it's small things, sometimes it's things in between.

当我处于不停奔波、专注、不断建设的状态时，我很容易陷入匮乏和不足的思维模式。

It's just there's so many things that when I am in go, go, go, focus, build, build, build mode, I start thinking in too much lack and too much scarcity.

当我早上醒来，专注于我能感激的事物时，这为我一整天的情绪定下了基调。

When I wake up in the morning and I focus on what I can be grateful for, it sets my overall tone for how I wanna feel throughout the day.

我发现，我们马上回来。

And I have just found, and we will be right back.

现在，我们继续回到节目。

And now back to the show.

当我每天早上做这件事时，我变得快乐多了。

That when I do this first thing in the morning, I'm just so much happier.

当我的事业中出现各种问题时，这些事情都很难影响到我。

It's just things that when fires come up in my business that that just kinda bounce off me.

好的。

Okay.

酷。

Cool.

我们会一步步解决的。

We'll we'll work through it.

这并不会是我们所做一切的最终结局。

That's not gonna be the end all be all of everything that we're doing.

你知道，这让我开始学会表达对别人的感激之情。

You know, and it it made me start learning to expressing appreciation for other people.

所以，这真的关乎培养一种感恩的习惯，无论在顺境时，尤其是在困难、艰难的时候。

And so it's really about developing this habit of gratitude when things are good, but especially when things are difficult, when things can be hard.

因为当事情艰难时，我们会开始思考所有出错的事情、所有需要修复的问题，以及所有我们希望改变的东西，而不是想：你知道吗？

Because when things are hard, we start thinking about all of the stuff that's wrong and all of the stuff that we want fixed and all the stuff we want to be different versus going, you know what?

即使事情一团糟，我依然有很多值得感恩的东西。

Even though shit has hit the fan, I still have so much to be grateful for.

如果你这么做，它真的会让你开始专注于发现并重新塑造你的大脑，去关注你生活中拥有的美好，而不是那些不足和匮乏。

And if you do that, it really makes you start to focus and almost like rewire your brain for looking at the good and finding the good in everything that you have in your life versus the lack and the scarcity in what's not enough.

因为生活中总是会存在匮乏。

Because there's always gonna be scarcity in life.

你的生活中总是充满丰盛，但最重要的是你关注的是什么。

There's always gonna be abundance in your life, but it's really what you focus on that matters the most.

所以这是第三点。

So that's number three.

第四点是放下完美主义。

Number four was letting go of perfectionism.

我最终在某个时刻意识到，当我试图做到完美、不断追求完美时，完美本身不过是一种幻觉。

I recognized eventually at one point in time when I was trying to be perfect or trying to be perfect or trying to be perfect that perfectionism perfection itself is just an illusion.

多年前我有一位导师，她在墙上贴着‘进步胜于完美’。

And so I had a mentor years ago, and she had on her wall progress over perfection.

完成比完美更好。

Done is better than perfect.

所以她，我想，也一直在与之斗争，但‘进步优于完美’这几个字就实实在在地贴在她的墙上。

And so she, I guess, struggle with it as well, but it's literally on her wall, progress over perfection.

她有一块白板，上面写着这句话，多年来一直贴在那里。

She had a whiteboard, and it was on she wrote it on her whiteboard, it was there for years.

进步优于完美。

Progress over perfection.

完成胜过完美。

Done is better than perfect.

这个理念就是，没有什么东西会是完美的。

And it's this idea of nothing will ever be perfect.

你的一切都可以继续改进。

You everything can always improve.

我敢说，即使你找来世界上最伟大的艺术家，让米开朗基罗去看他的《大卫》雕像，他大概也能找出一些不完美之处。

I'm sure even if you were to get the greatest artists in the world, if you were to ask Michelangelo to look at the the statue of David, he could probably find some of the imperfections.

但如果你亲眼见过它，你会觉得：这是我一生中见过的最完美的艺术品。

But you look at it, if you've ever seen it in person, you're like, that's the most perfect piece of art I've ever seen in my entire life.

如果你见到他，他能告诉你哪些地方不完美吗？

If you were to see him, could he tell you some things that are not perfect?

当然可以。

Sure.

但想象一下，如果他因为追求完美而从未完成它，那么我们几十年后就看不到这件美丽的艺术品了。

But imagine if he just never finished it because he was trying to make it perfect, and then we wouldn't have this beautiful piece of art to to see hundreds of years later.

所以，这是一种放下完美主义的理念，因为你永远无法达到完美，接受你真正想做的——当你追求完美时，其实是在掩盖某种恐惧。

And so it's this idea of letting go of perfectionism because you'll never get there and accepting that what you're really trying to do if you're trying to be perfect is you're trying to mask some sort of fear.

完美主义从来不是问题本身。

Perfectionism is never the problem.

它总是问题的下游效应，而问题在于，完美主义是一种用来掩盖某种恐惧的面具。

There's always it's always the downstream effect of the problem, and the problem is that perfectionism is a mask that you wear to cover up some sort of fear.

哦，我只是个完美主义者。

Oh, I'm just a perfectionist.

不。

No.

不。

No.

不。

No.

你害怕失败。

You're afraid of failure.

你害怕被拒绝。

You're afraid of rejection.

你害怕别人的看法。

You're afraid of other people's opinions.

你害怕其他事情。

You're afraid of something else.

因此，完美主义并不是我们应该戴在衬衫上的徽章。

And so perfectionism is not a a badge to be wearing on our shirt.

而是一个停下来、进行自我反思的时刻，问问自己：我究竟在害怕什么？

It's a moment to take a step back and find some self reflection and say, what am I afraid of?

如果我认为自己是个完美主义者，那背后的恐惧是什么？

If I think I'm a perfectionist, what's the fear behind it?

因为背后总是有恐惧存在。

Because there's always a fear behind it.

我向你保证。

I promise you that.

对拒绝的恐惧、对成功的恐惧、对失败的恐惧、对被抛弃的恐惧、对他人看法的恐惧、对被部落驱逐的恐惧、对不被爱的恐惧，无论是什么。

Fear of rejection, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of abandonment, fear of other people's opinions, fear of being kicked out of the tribe, fear of not being loved, whatever it might be.

所以你必须明白，这里存在着某种恐惧。

And so you've got to understand there's some sort of fear.

当你感受到完美主义时，这其实是在提醒你：嘿。

When you feel perfectionism, it's a it's really a calling for you to be like, hey.

退一步想想。

Take a step back.

你到底害怕什么？

What are you afraid of?

因此，重要的是要这样做，不要拿自己和不切实际的标准比较，而是真正欣赏这段旅程：嘿。

And so it's it's important to do this and to not compare ourselves to unrealistic standards and to just really appreciate the journey of, hey.

我正在变得更好。

I'm getting better.

我一直在变得更好。

I'm always getting better.

没有什么是完美的。

Nothing's ever gonna be perfect.

完成比完美更重要。

Done is better than perfect.

我宁愿完成一件95%的事，也不愿去追求100%的完美。

I'd rather finish something at 95% done than try to get a 100% perfect.

因为你可以把事情做完。

Because you can get something done.

比如，如果是工作项目、绘画，或者任何音乐作品，你可以在一周、两周，或者你正在打造的任何项目所需的时间内，把它做到95%。

Like, if it's a work project, you know, or a painting or whatever's a piece of music, you can get it 95% done in a week, two weeks, whatever it might be that you're building.

对吧？

Right?

想从95%做到100%完美，可能永远都达不到。

To get that 95 to a 100% perfect, probably never gonna get there.

所以，完成比完美更重要。

So it's like get get to done is better than perfect.

动手去做吧。

Get to it.

进步胜于完美。

Progress over perfection.

没关系的。

It's okay.

所以第四点就是放下我曾经追求的完美。

And so number four is just letting go of this perfection that I had.

第五点是把失败重新定义为学习的机会。

Number five is reframing failure as a learning opportunity.

很多人真的很难面对失败，我也曾长期害怕失败。

So many people really struggle with failure, and I I struggle with failure for a long time.

在研究了许多非常成功的人之后，我意识到，世界上最成功的人一生中大部分时间都是失败的。

And I realized after studying a lot of very successful people is that the most successful people in the world have been failures majority of their lives.

比如，本田的创始人说，成功99%都是失败。

Like, it's like the the creator of Honda says success is 99% failure.

你只需要那1%能成为全垒打就够了。

You just need that 1% to just be a grand slam.

因此，最成功的人通常经历的失败是不成功者的十倍之多。

And so the most successful people have usually faced 10 times more failure than someone who's unsuccessful.

于是我对自己说，好吧。

And so I thought to myself, okay.

如果真是这样，那我就需要更快、更努力地工作，以便尽快把所有的失败都经历完，最终找到成功。

If that's if that's the case, then I just need to work faster and work harder so that I can get all my failures out of the way and eventually find success.

我可以把失败当作垫脚石，让自己变得更强大、更优秀，放下对评判的恐惧、对批评的恐惧、对失败的恐惧，以及对自己不够好的恐惧。

And I can use my failures as as a stepping stone to become greater and become better and to let go of my my fear of judgment and my fear of criticism and my fear of failure, my fear of not being good enough.

当我所谓的失败时，这其实是一个学习的机会。

And when I do quote, unquote fail, it's really an opportunity to learn.

这是一个调整和优化策略的机会，让我找到真正有效的方法。

It's an opportunity to adapt and refine my strategies so I can find the thing that actually works.

有时候，你得把很多东西扔到墙上，才能有一样粘住，而我只是想尽可能快地往墙上扔更多东西，以便尽快找到那一样能粘住的。

Sometimes you gotta throw a lot of stuff at the wall before something sticks, and I'm just trying to throw as much to the wall as fast as possible so I can find the one thing that sticks.

我发现，最成功的人的一个共同点是他们注重速度。

That's the one thing I found with the most successful people is they focus on speed.

以尽可能快的速度失败，这样他们就能更快地走向成功。

Speed to fail as often as possible so that they can eventually get there to success faster.

我发现，不成功的人总是拖延、拖延、再拖延，因为他们害怕出错或失败，结果永远找不到那颗他们苦苦追寻的璞玉。

Unsuccessful people I found delay, delay, delay, delay, delay, delay because they don't wanna mess up or fail in some sort of way, and then they never actually find that diamond in the rough that that is their success they were looking for.

所以，这是第五点。

And so that's number five.

第六点，对我而言非常重要，对很多人来说也是如此，那就是培养积极的自我对话习惯。

Number six, huge thing for me and a huge thing for a lot of people out there is cultivating this habit of positive self talk.

我告诉人们，当我年轻的时候，如果你在我脑袋旁边放一个收音机，播放我对自己说的话，我会对自己犯的错误、失败和做不好事情特别苛刻，根本不会对自己积极正面。

I tell people when I was younger, if you would have had a a radio, like a a speaker on the side of my head that broadcast everything I was saying to myself, I was just like such a so hard on myself for mistakes and for failures and for not doing things right, and I was just not really super positive with myself.

现在我告诉人们，如果我脑袋旁边有个扬声器，一直在播放我的内心想法，你会说：‘这人也太自恋了吧。’

Now I tell people if I was had a speaker on the side of my head that was just broadcasting my thoughts, you'd be like, that dude's completely full of himself.

但这并不是说我真的自恋。

And it's not that I'm full of myself.

而是我想对自己说话的方式，比世界上任何人都要更好。

It's that I want to speak better to myself than anybody else in the world does.

原因在于，这个世界、成功、幸福、快乐、失败、创造生活，作为人类的生活本身就是艰难的。

And the reason why is because this world, success, happiness, joy, failure, creating life, like life as a human is hard.

我不想责备自己，让生活变得更艰难。

I don't wanna beat myself up and make it even harder.

我想让自己轻松一点，因为我比任何人都更相信自己。

I wanna make it even easier on myself because I believe in myself more than anybody else.

所以你必须意识到自己需要培养的积极对话模式，同时也要觉察那些需要摒弃的消极自我对话模式。

And so you have to become aware of these these positive talking patterns that you need to adapt in your life and also start to be aware of these negative saw self talk patterns that you need to get rid of.

当你发现自己在对自己说消极的话时，挑战这个想法，并将其重新构想为另一种积极的想法。

When you notice yourself talking negative to you to yourself, challenge that thought and reframe that thought into something different.

用鼓舞人心的肯定语取代你的限制性信念。

Replace your limiting beliefs with empowering affirmations.

我最近一段时间一直这么说，但很久以来，我一直觉得肯定语有点俗气、愚蠢，从不谈论它们。

And I've said this for a while recently, but, like, for a long time, I thought affirmations were kind of corny and stupid, and I never talked about them.

现在，我有了自己的肯定语。

Now it's like, I have my affirmations.

我有了对自己说话的方式。

I have the way that I speak to myself.

我一直在努力让自己潜移默化地相信我想相信的关于自己的事情，这样我才能成为我需要成为的人，不阻碍自己，并在这个世界上创造我想创造的一切。

I am constantly trying to brainwash myself into believing what I want to believe about myself so that I can be the person I need to be, I don't get in my own way, and I create in this world what I wanna create.

所以我建议你，生活已经够艰难了。

So I'd recommend for you, life is hard enough as it is.

对自己恶语相向并不会让生活变得更轻松。

Being an asshole to yourself doesn't make any easier.

我向你保证。

I promise you that.

那么，你该如何开始以对待朋友的方式对自己说话呢？

And so how can you start to talk to yourself the same way that you would talk to your friend?

如果你有孩子，他们正在努力提高某项运动技能，你不会对一个五岁的小孩说风凉话。

You know, if you have children and they're trying to, you know, get better at a sport, you're not gonna talk trash to your your young five year old.

你会努力鼓励他们。

You're gonna try to build them up.

你能行的。

You got this.

我相信你。

I believe in you.

我知道你能做到。

I know you can do this.

每当他们取得成功时，都要为他们庆祝。

Whenever they have a success, celebrate them.

每当遇到失败时，嘿。

Whenever have failure, hey.

别担心。

No worries.

你能做到的。

You can do it.

我知道你可以。

I know you can.

所以你必须学会做最好的自己，像对待朋友、亲人或孩子那样对自己说话，专注于你的优势而非弱点。

And so you you've gotta learn to be your best friend and speak to yourself the way that you would speak to a friend, a loved one, your children, then and focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses.

这就是第六点。

So that's number six.

第七点是养成感受恐惧的习惯，因为我们都会感到恐惧。

And then number seven is to get into this habit of feeling fear because we all feel fear.

我之前在一次直播中，参加我正在主持的‘心态2.0’课程的Zoom通话时提到过，就在昨天，我依然感受到了强烈的恐惧，我不得不说服自己摆脱那些情绪，摆脱那些反复思虑的想法，然后依然采取行动。

I was talking earlier on a a live that I was on on a Zoom call with this course that I'm running, mindset two point o, and I was talking about the fact that, like, even yesterday, I felt visceral fear, and I had to talk myself out of my feelings, talk myself out of what I was thinking about and what I was mulling over, and then take action anyways.

所以，这就是感受恐惧但仍继续前行。

And so it's this thing of feeling fear but doing it anyways.

大多数时候，当我们感到恐惧时，我们会退缩，因为我们想：天啊。

Most of the time when we feel fear, we back away because we think, oh my gosh.

我一定不安全。

I must be unsafe.

如果我感到恐惧，那就说明有问题。

If I if I feel fear, there's something wrong.

我一定不安全，所以我需要退缩。

I must be unsafe, so I need to back away.

我们养成了感到恐惧就退缩的习惯。

And we create this habit of feeling fear, backing away.

感到恐惧，然后退缩。

Feeling fear, backing away.

这是一种我们养成的习惯，也是一种我们惯常陷入的模式。

And it's a habit we've created, and it's kind of a pattern that we just go into.

你必须感受到恐惧，但依然去做。

You have to feel the fear and do it anyways.

那么你该如何做到这一点呢？

And how do you do this?

首先，你不能让恐惧控制你，但你要提醒自己，恐惧的感觉——我希望你真正理解这一点。

Well, you don't let your fear control you, first off, but you remind yourself that the feeling of fear and I want you to really understand this.

恐惧的感觉，是此刻你的舒适区的生理表现。

The feeling of fear is the physical manifestation of your comfort zone in this moment.

如果我感到恐惧，让我退一步。

If I feel fear let me take a step back.

如果我没有感到恐惧，我就在舒适区内。

If I'm not feeling fear, I'm in my comfort zone.

如果我感到恐惧，我就在舒适区的边缘。

If I feel fear, I'm at the edge of my comfort zone.

如果你正在听这个播客，你就知道，你想要的一切都在你的舒适区之外。

And you know if you're listening to this podcast that everything that you want is on the outside of your comfort zone.

你的舒适区是你梦想死去的地方。

Your comfort zone is where your dreams go to die.

所以，如果你想要生活中更多、更好的东西，你就必须走出你的舒适区。

And so if you want something more, something better in your life, you're gonna have to get out of your comfort zone.

所以，你必须意识到，哦，好吧。

And so you have to notice, oh, okay.

嗯。

Yeah.

我感到一些恐惧。

I feel some fear.

我现在真的感到一些恐惧。

I really do feel some fear right now.

这意味着我正处在舒适区的边缘。

That means that I'm on the edge of my comfort zone.

通常，当我感到恐惧时，我会退缩，但我想提醒自己，我应该走出舒适区。

Normally, what I'll do when I feel fear is I will back away, but I want to remind myself that I'm supposed to be getting out of my comfort zone.

成长在我的舒适区之外。

Growth is on the outside of my comfort zone.

所以我要做的就是稍微向前靠一点。

So what I'm gonna do is I'm just gonna lean in just a little bit.

这种不适感是成长的信号。

This discomfort is a sign of growth.

因此，你要把这种恐惧当作即将成长的信号，而不是需要害怕的东西。

And so you use this fear as a signal that you're about to grow rather than something to be afraid of.

你只需要一点点地向前推进。

And you keep moving just a little bit forward.

你不必一下子冲出你的舒适区。

You don't have to blast past your comfort zone.

只要迈出舒适区一步，向自己证明你不会死。

Just take one step out of your comfort zone and prove to yourself you're not gonna die.

这就是即使在恐惧和不确定中也要继续前进的理念。

It's this idea of keep moving forward despite fear, despite uncertainty.

事实上，归根结底，这七件事都是心态习惯，它们真正帮助我整顿了生活，让我创造出令人惊叹的人生——而在我开始修炼心态之前，我的生活根本没朝着好的方向发展。

And, really, that's what it comes down to is those are seven things that that are just mindset habits that have really helped me get my life together and create something amazing for my life when before I started working on my mind, it wasn't really going in the best direction.

所以，这就是我今天要分享给你们的内容。

So that's what I got for you for today's lesson.

如果你正在外面，并且希望掌握2026年的目标，我有一段免费的30分钟工作坊视频，能帮你明确目标、清晰地了解它们，并制定计划。

If you're out there and you want to master your twenty twenty six goals, I have a free thirty minute workshop video that will help you figure out your goals, get very clear on what they are, and plan them out.

如果你访问 goalsmastery2026.com，就可以免费下载。

If you go to goalsmastery2026.com, you can download it for free.

你只需要准备一支笔和一张纸，点播放，30分钟后，你就能规划好明年所有的目标，并制定出每天需要做什么才能实现这些目标的行动计划。

All you have to do is get out a pen and paper, push play, and at the end of the thirty minutes, you'll have all of your goals for next year planned out with a plan of what you need to do each day to hit those goals.

所以再次提醒，如果你想免费下载，请访问 goalsmastery2026.com。

So once again, if you want to download it for free, is goalsmastery2026.com.

接下来，我会像每一集结束时那样，和你们道别。

And with that, I'm gonna leave you the same way I leave you every single episode.

让你的使命变成：让别人的这一天变得更好。

Make it your mission to make somebody else's day better.

我感谢你，希望你拥有美好的一天。

I appreciate you, and I hope that you have an amazing day.