温暖毛衣：飞蛾播客

欢迎来到飞蛾故事会。

Welcome to the Moth.

我是马克·索林格。

I'm Mark Solinger.

我不知道你们怎么样，但在一年中那个奇怪的最后几天——圣诞节之后、1月1日之前，假期似乎结束了却又没真正结束的时候。

I don't know about you, but in that weird last week of the year, that time between Christmas and January 1 when the holidays have sort of ended but haven't really ended.

你既对新年充满期待，又隐隐有些畏惧。

When you're excited about the New Year but also dreading it a little bit.

在这个奇妙的过渡时刻，我对观看或聆听的艺术作品有着特别的要求。

In that strange liminal space, I have very particular requirements for the art I watch or listen to.

我希望一切都能让人感到舒适。

I want things to be comfy.

我希望结局皆大欢喜，希望我能像裹在一件温暖的毛衣里一样。

I want everything to work out in the end, and I want to feel like I'm wrapped up in a warm sweater.

所以在这期节目中，我们准备了三个故事，会让你感觉像穿上了一件宽松、柔软、无比温暖的毛衣。

So on this episode, we've got three stories that'll feel like you're putting on a cozy, oversized, ever so warm sweater.

首先登场的是克里斯蒂·阿内特·莫雷诺，她在一场以‘意外之喜’为主题的洛杉矶大奖赛上讲述了这个故事。

First up is Christy Arnett Moreno, who told us at an LA grand slam where the theme was blessings in disguise.

这是克里斯蒂在‘The Moth’现场的讲述。

Here's Christie live at the mouth.

我当时20岁，正在大学足球训练中，等着跑冲刺，老实说，还想好好教训一下我的队友们。

So I'm 20 years old and at college soccer practice, waiting to run sprints and frankly to try to kick my teammates asses.

哨声一响，我们就开始跑了。

The whistle blows and we're off.

我拼命摆动双臂，突然感到一阵剧痛。

I'm pumping my arms and suddenly I feel a searing pain.

感觉就像有一只熊在我肚子里拼命抓挠，想冲出来。

It feels like there is a bear inside my stomach trying to claw its way out.

我试图坚持下去，但实在撑不住了，直接倒在了地上，本能地用手捂住疼痛的地方。

I try to push through, but I can't, and I collapse to the ground and instinctively, I put my hands over where it hurts.

就在我的皮肤下面，摸到一个硬块，大小像一个球一样。

And there under my skin is a hard lump that feels as big as a ball.

队医告诉我，我得去急诊室，但我还要去见我新交的超帅男友。

The team doctor tells me, I need to go to the ER, but I'm supposed to meet my super hot new boyfriend.

于是我给他打电话，说：安德鲁，我得去急诊室，真的很抱歉。

So, I call him and I say, Andrew, I need to go to the ER, I'm so sorry.

我知道我们本该聊聊，因为最近我们一直在吵架。

I know we're supposed to talk because, well recently we'd been having some fights.

他总找茬，因为他有很多具体的要求，比如偶尔牵一下我的手，还有别在我们认真谈话时讲笑话。

He'd been picking fights because he had all of these specific requests like, hold my hand once in a while, and please don't make jokes when we're trying to have a serious conversation.

老实说，我觉得这些要求挺不讲理的，但我还是给他打了电话，说：我得去急诊室，待会儿再见你。

Honestly, I find these pretty unreasonable, but I call him and I'm like, I got to go to the ER and I have to see you later.

但他坚持要来，说：克里斯蒂，这很严重。

But he insists on coming and he's like, Christy, this is serious.

我回应说：安德鲁，我知道这很严重。

And I'm like, Andrew, I know this is serious.

但更严重的是，我们就要错过10美分鸡翅之夜了。

It seriously sucks that we're going to miss 10¢ wing night.

我真的很喜欢水牛城鸡翅。

I really like buffalo wings.

好吧，他说得对。

Okay, so he's right.

我总是在不恰当的时候开玩笑，因为我真的不擅长面对强烈的情绪。

I make jokes at inappropriate times because I am really uncomfortable with really difficult emotions.

我从小有个虎妈，她的唯一真正的身体接触就是在我表现好时用力拍一下我的背。

I grew up with a tiger mom who, I mean her only real physical affection was a firm pat on the back on a job well done.

但她教会我的一件事就是如何变得坚强。

But the one thing she did teach me was how to be tough.

所以当我们到达医院，医生指着黑白超声屏幕说，我的卵巢上长了一个肿块，很可能是恶性的，必须立即切除。

So when we get to the hospital and the doctor points to the black and white ultrasound screen and says that there is a mass growing on my ovary, that it's likely cancerous and that it needs to be removed immediately.

我面无表情，紧咬牙关。

I keep a straight face and a set jaw.

直到几天后，当我被推离安德鲁、送往手术室时，我才允许自己感受内心真正的恐惧——我害怕死亡。

And it isn't till a few days later when I'm being wheeled away from Andrew and into the Surgery Room, that I allow myself to feel what I'm really feeling, which is that I am terrified of dying.

麻醉剂灼烧我的喉咙时，我最后模糊地想：如果我醒不过来怎么办？

As the anesthesia burns my throat, I have this final hazy thought of like, what if I don't wake up?

我昏迷期间，外科医生从我的耻骨上方一直切到肚脐，切除了如今像软式棒球大小的癌性肿瘤，以及我的右卵巢和部分左卵巢，希望将来我仍能生育孩子。

While I'm asleep, the surgeon makes an incision from the top of my pubic bone all the way to my belly button to remove what is now the size of a softball, cancerous tumor along with my right ovary and part of my left so that someday, hopefully I can still have children.

当我醒来时，安德鲁站在我上方，我第一个想法是：太棒了。

When I wake up, Andrew's standing above me and my first my thoughts are like, first of all, awesome.

我还活着，而安德鲁的眼睛看起来像牛奶巧克力糖。

I'm still alive and Andrew's eyes look like milk duds.

为了恢复，安德鲁带我去了他的公寓，我们一到家，我就走进浴室，但感到头晕，于是双手扶住洗手池保持平衡。

To recover, Andrew takes me to his apartment and as soon as we get there, I walk into the bathroom, but I get light headed so I grab both sides of the sink to balance myself.

安德鲁敲了敲门，推开门，把我的处方药放在了我旁边的台面上。

Andrew knocks on the door and pushes it open and he sets my prescriptions on the counter next to me.

那是几瓶止痛药和一盒比沙可啶，因为据说手术后第一次排便非常重要。

It's like a couple bottles of pain killers and a package of Dulcolax because apparently your first bowel movement after surgery is a big deal.

对于那些不知道比沙可啶栓剂是什么的人，恭喜你们，你们从未被迫把药片塞进屁股里来帮助排便。

For those of you who don't know what Dulcolax suppositories are, congratulations, you've never had to put a pill in your butthole to help you poop.

所以我有点尴尬，但我用强硬的态度掩饰它。

So I'm a little embarrassed, but I cover it up by being tough.

我说我不需要任何止痛药，我没事，这有点言不由衷，但老实说，我只是累坏了，而且对住院的经历感到恶心。

And I'm like, I don't need any of the pain meds, I'm fine, which is kind of a lie, but honestly, I'm just exhausted and feel disgusting from my hospital stay.

我只想洗个澡。

All I want to do is shower.

于是安德鲁准备离开，但突然停下问：‘你需要帮忙吗？’

So Andrew goes to leave, but then stops and asks, do you need help?

一开始，我想说不用。

And at first, I want to say no.

我想说不用，因为我害怕如果需要他，我会成为负担。

I want to say no because I'm afraid if I need him that I will be a burden.

我害怕展现真实的自己，最重要的是，我也害怕他看到的会不喜欢。

I'm afraid to show who I am, and most of all, I'm also afraid of like, what if he doesn't like what he sees?

我的身体肿胀得完全认不出来了。

My body is bloated beyond recognition.

我的皮肤上缝着弗兰肯斯坦式的钉子。

I have Frankenstein staples holding my skin together.

但接着我想起，难道我不是更害怕在从未真正向任何人敞开心扉的情况下死去吗？

But then I remember, aren't I more afraid of dying without ever truly letting anyone in?

于是我回答：是的，我需要帮助。

And so I say, yes, I need help.

安德鲁深吸一口气，点点头，走到我身后，我等着他帮我把衬衫脱下来。

Andrew takes a deep breath and nods and he walks behind me and I wait for him to pull my shirt over my head.

但就在这时，我听到一阵包装纸的窸窣声，转过身去，发现他正用手指夹着一枚栓剂站在那里。

But then I hear a crackling of a package and I turn around and he's standing there with suppository pinched between his fingers.

我心想：不，等等，你在干什么？

I'm like, I'm like, no, wait, what are you doing?

他却说：我不知道啊，我只是想帮忙。

And he's like, I don't know, I was helping.

我说：我不需要你帮我塞这个，我需要的是帮忙洗澡。

And I'm like, I don't need help putting that in, I need help taking a shower.

你们知道吗？他愿意帮我轻碰一下，这可不是开玩笑的意思。

You guys, he was willing to boop and I'm not like not in a fun way, you know?

所以，他慢慢把我的衣服剥下来，我们只是笑着，我笑得那么厉害，甚至哭了出来——因为疼，而当他剥下我的衬衫、短裤、沾满碘酒和血迹的紧身裤时，我哭了，因为我此刻在所有层面上都赤裸暴露了。

So so I So allow, so he peels out, so we're just laughing and I'm laughing so hard that I'm like crying and I'm crying because it hurts and then I'm, and then as he peels off my shirt and my shorts and my iodine and bloodstained leggings, I cry because I am exposed in all of the ways.

他把水调热，我握着他的手，走进淋浴间。

He runs the water hot and I hold his hand as I step into the shower.

他给我搓洗头发，泡沫和泪水一起顺着我的皮肤流下。

He rubs shampoo in my hair and the suds and the tears fall down my skin.

这是我第一次允许别人看到那些我曾担心不值得被爱的部分，并让它们被爱。

And it is the first time that I allow someone to see the parts of me that I worried were unlovable and let them be loved.

我发誓，再也不会接受任何不愿‘动手’的人。

I vow to never settle for anybody who isn't willing to get their hands dirty, so to speak.

十六年后，我在家，听到丈夫在房子里大喊：‘我们有大号紧急情况了。’

Sixteen years later, I'm at home and I hear my husband yelling across the house, we got a code brown.

于是我冲过拐角，看到他就在那儿，安德鲁。

So I run around the corner and there he is, Andrew.

他双手深陷在粪便中，抱着我们正在笑的男婴，刚刚经历了一次大便崩塌。

He's elbow deep in poop, holding our baby boy who's laughing, who just had a massive blowout.

我卷起袖子，毫不犹豫地加入其中，因为当你爱一个人时，你就该这么做。

And I roll up my sleeves and dive in because that's what you do when you love someone.

那

That

这是克里斯蒂·阿内特·莫雷诺。

was Christy Arnett Moreno.

克里斯蒂是一位作家、YouTube电影制作人，也曾是职业扑克玩家。

Christy is a writer, YouTube filmmaker, and former professional poker player.

她讲述关于风险、爱与韧性的故事，目前正在撰写她的首部回忆录，讲述扑克如何教会她在周围一切分崩离析时依然保持勇敢。

She tells stories about risk, love, and resilience, and is currently writing her debut memoir about how poker taught her to stay courageous when everything around her fell apart.

实际上，我录制这一集时正穿着一件温暖的毛衣。

I'm actually recording this episode while dressed in a warm sweater.

从九月到三月，甚至可能更久，毛衣基本上就是我穿的全部衣服。

Sweaters are basically all I wear between the months of September to March, maybe even a little bit longer.

然而，这件毛衣很特别，因为是我的伴侣为我织的。

This sweater, however, is special because my partner knitted it for me.

它又暖和又漂亮，还让我看起来像个迷幻的驯鹿牧人，这正是我钟爱的风格。

It's so warm and so beautiful and sort of makes me look like a psychedelic reindeer herder, which is a vibe I adore.

但我之所以穿它感到如此舒适，真正的原因是，这是我爱的人专门为我做的。

But the real reason that I'm so comfortable in it is because somebody I love made it just for me.

我想，这提醒了我，无论外面的世界多么寒冷，关心你的人总能让你感到温暖。

I guess it's a reminder that however cold the world outside is, the people who care about you can keep you warm.

抱歉。

Sorry.

这有点太感性了，但现在是圣诞节和新年之间的那一周。

That's a little sappy, but it is the week between Christmas and New Year's.

我们的下一个故事是关于家庭和你所爱之人的意义。

Our next story is all about the importance of family and the people you love.

史蒂夫·埃廷格在丹佛的一个故事擂台讲述了这个故事，当晚的主题是偷窥。

Steve Ettinger told this at a Denver story slam where the theme of the night was snooping.

这是史蒂夫在《莫思》现场的表现。

Here's Steve live at The Moth.

我和室友一起住了大约四个月后，我们外出共进晚餐，庆祝她的重要生日。

My roommate and I had been living together for about four months when we went out to dinner to celebrate her milestone birthday.

她即将迎来90岁生日。

She was turning 90.

如果是我自己，几分钟就能搞定，但和埃拉一起，那就更像一场远征。

On my own, it would have taken a couple minutes, but with Ella, it was more like an expedition.

在纽约市和埃拉这样脆弱的人一起走路，就像电影里两个服务员抬着一个巨大的蛋糕的场景。

Walking with someone as fragile as Ella in New York City was like being in that scene in a movie where two caters are carrying a giant cake.

问题不在于蛋糕会不会掉，而在于什么时候掉，以及哪个荒唐的举动会把它撞翻。

And the question isn't if it will fall, but when and which wacky antic will knock it to the ground.

所以我必须保护埃拉，确保她站稳，因为她不仅是我的室友，更是我的房东，还是我的姑婆。

And so I had to protect Ella, and I had to keep her upright, Also because she was more my landlord than a roommate and she was also my great aunt.

八年前我刚搬到纽约时，每隔几个月就会和埃拉一起吃晚饭。

When I first moved to New York eight years earlier, I would meet up for Ella for dinner with Ella every few months.

就像任何一位典型的犹太母亲一样，她喜欢打探别人的私事。

And like any good Jewish mother, she loved to pry.

她会问我关于我的家人、工作，以及不可避免地问起我的恋爱生活。

She would ask me about my family, about work, and inevitably about my dating life.

她最喜欢用这句话开头任何一句话：‘我知道这不关我的事，但是……’ 当我刚搬进她空着的卧室时，她问的还是那些同样的问题。

And her favorite way to start any sentence was by saying, I know it's none of my business, but and when I moved into her spare bedroom at first, it was more of the same the same type of questions.

但当我们开始形成日常习惯，每天看完《危险边缘》后一起吃晚饭时，情况开始发生变化。

But as we started to get into a routine and we started to have dinner together every single night after we watched Jeopardy.

因为这些问题有了更多的时间和空间，变得越来越具体、越来越亲密。

It started to take on something different because the questions had more time and space to become more specific and more intimate.

她会说：‘史蒂文，我能问你这个，是因为我不是你妈妈。’

And she would say, Steven, I can ask you this because I'm not your mother.

然后她又会问我关于工作和恋爱生活的事。

And then again, she would tell me to ask me about work and about my dating life.

每一天，如果我的私生活是一辆车，她都会不顾我的意愿，每天掀开引擎盖检查一番。

And every night was if if if my personal life was a car every night she looked under the hood whether or not I wanted to.

但我其实很喜欢，因为这是双向的。

But I actually loved it because it went both ways.

我小时候，埃拉就像我的第三位祖母，但那时她更像我人生故事中的一个角色，而不是一个真实的人。

When I was growing up Ella was like my third grandmother but at that age, she was more like a character in my life story than a real person.

一旦我们开始每晚一起吃晚饭，我就开始问她问题。

And once we started sitting together for dinner every night, I started asking her questions.

我了解到她如何在布鲁克林长大，她的移民父母如何经营一家鞋店，以及她婚后辞去工作后有多么后悔。

And I learned about how she grew up in Brooklyn and about her immigrant parents who owned a shoe store, and I learned how much she regretted quitting her job after she got married.

我了解到她对流行文化的看法，比如她认为格里高利·派克其实没那么了不起，还了解到她觉得邻居安迪是世界上最好的人，但也有点怪异。

I learned her takes on pop culture like that Gregory Peck wasn't really that big of a deal, and I learned that she thought her neighbor Andy was the nicest guy in the world, but also kind of a piece of work.

随着时间推移，我真的很享受这个过程。

And over time, I really just started to enjoy it.

这感觉不再像家庭审问，而更像和朋友一起吃晚饭，尽管她加入AARP的时间比我出生的时间还长。

It felt less like a family interrogation and more like having dinner with a friend even though she had been an AARP member for longer than I'd been alive.

一切进行得非常顺利，直到有一天我提早下班回家。

And it was going really great until one day I came home from work early.

我在大学里用惨痛的教训学到的一课是：永远不要在合租情况下突然惊吓室友。

And a lesson I learned in college the hard way was that you should never surprise a roommate in a living situation.

这件事发生在我走进我大一室友的房间时，发现他裤子褪到脚踝，正在自慰，之后整个学期我们都不敢对视。我担心的倒不是和埃拉之间会发生这种事，而是无论对谁，尤其是这个年纪的人，突然惊吓都绝不是好主意。

This happened when I walked in on on my my freshman dorm mate with his pants around his ankles in a moment of self pleasure, and we couldn't make eye contact for the rest of the semester, which I was less worried about that specific thing with Ella as much as it's just never a good idea to surprise somebody of that age.

所以当我进门时，我故意制造了很多噪音，大声喊道：‘嗨，埃拉！’

And so as I came in the door, I made a lot of noise and I yelled at, hi, Ella.

我回来了。

I'm home.

她没有回应，这倒不奇怪，因为很多时候电视声音会盖过我的声音，但我也没听到电视声。

And she didn't answer, which wasn't surprising because a lot of times the TV would drown out my voice, but I didn't hear the TV either.

于是我又喊了一遍：‘埃拉，我回来了！’，她还是没有回应。

And so I called out again, Ella, I'm home, and she didn't answer.

我走进客厅，发现她不在她常坐的那把椅子上。

And I went into the living room, and she wasn't in the chair that she was always in.

不管怎样，她总是在那把椅子上。

No matter what, she was in that chair.

然后我往走廊看去，发现她的卧室门开着，灯也亮着，我心里想：糟了。

And then I looked down the hall, and I saw that her bedroom door was open and the light was on, and I thought, fuck.

因为有一个90岁的室友最糟糕的地方，就是你可能会突然失去这个90岁的室友。

Because the worst part about having a 90 year roommate is the possibility that you will no longer have a 90 year old roommate.

于是我先去厨房检查了一下，尽到应尽的责任，然后沿着挂满家庭照片的墙慢慢走向走廊，脑子里不断演练着该怎样告诉她的女儿们、我的父母和急救人员，同时我一边走一边制造更大的声响，拍着手。

And so I I checked the kitchen first just to do due diligence, and then I started to make my way down the hall past the wall of family photos, and I was having these conversations in my mind of what I would tell her daughters and my parents and the paramedics, and the whole time I'm making more noise and clapping my hands.

这让我想起以前有一次，一只浣熊跑进了我的车库，我为了吓走它，拼命制造噪音。

And it was kind of like once when a raccoon was in my garage, and I was trying to scare it out by making a lot of noise.

我不断喊着她的名字，但她没有回应。

And I kept calling out to her, and she wasn't answering.

于是，我极其缓慢地探头进卧室，看到她没整理的床，但她并不在那儿。

And so very, very slowly, I peeked my head into the bedroom, and I saw her unmade bed, but she wasn't in it.

但浴室的门是开着的，灯也亮着，我又想：糟了。

But the bathroom door was open and the light was on in there, and again I was like, fuck.

我再次想到那些即将要说的话，想到明天我会对别人说：‘对，我就是在那儿找到她的。’

And I thought of these conversations again and how the next day I would say to somebody, yeah, that's where I found her.

是啊，就像猫王一样。

Yeah, just like Elvis.

我非常缓慢地推开门，她也不在那儿。

And very slowly, I pushed the door open, and she wasn't in there either.

一小时后，当她和朋友去吃晚午餐后回到公寓时，我正坐在一辆马车沙发上，像个青春期孩子深夜归家的家长。

An hour later when she walked into the apartment after having gone to a late lunch with her friends, I was sitting on the carriage couch like a like a parent whose teenager has come home way past curfew.

我想责备她为什么不留张便条，但随即想起这是她的公寓，她早已成年，早在二战前就已经是成年人了。

And I wanted to scold her for not leaving a note, and then I remembered that it was her apartment and that she was an adult and had been one since before World War two.

于是，我帮她脱下外套，我们坐下来，看了《危险边缘》然后是《古董巡回秀》。

So instead, I helped her with her coat, and we sat down, and we watched Jeopardy and then Antique Roadshow.

接着我们坐下吃晚饭，我兴奋而急切地想问她关于午餐和其他 frankly 与我无关的问题。

And then we sat down to dinner, and I was excited and eager to ask her about her lunch and other questions that frankly were none of my business.

谢谢。

Thank you.

那

That

是史蒂夫·埃廷格。

was Steve Ettinger.

史蒂夫住在科罗拉多州的弗里斯科，是一名酒吧调酒师。

Steve lives in Frisco, Colorado where he works as a bartender.

他的爱好包括收藏古董奖杯和给他的狗戴帽子。

His hobbies include collecting antique trophies and putting hats on his dog.

埃拉去年去世，享年96岁，就在史蒂夫讲完这个故事几个月后。

Ella passed away last year at the age of 96, a few months after Steve told this story.

他说，她是他有过的最好的室友。

He says that she remains the best roommate he ever had.

广告后，一个关于真正温暖毛衣的故事。

After the break, a story about a literal warm sweater.

马上回来。

Be back in a moment.

欢迎回来。

Welcome back.

接下来，我们要讲一个确实像一件温暖毛衣的故事，但这个故事也真的涉及一件实际的暖和毛衣。

Now up next, we've got a story that does feel like a warm sweater, but does also involve an actual warm sweater.

乔纳森·曼海姆在芝加哥的一场故事擂台赛上讲述了这个故事，当时的主题是‘结局’。

Jonathan Mannheim told this at a Chicago story slam where the theme was endings.

这是乔纳森在商场现场的讲述。

Here's Jonathan live at the mall.

所以，在2011年，我有一件毛衣，就一件。

So in, 2011, I had a sweater that was One sweater.

那是一件菱形花纹毛衣。

It was an Argyle sweater.

那是一件彩虹色的菱形花纹毛衣。

It was a rainbow Argyle sweater.

它看起来相当难看。

It was pretty hideous.

每一个菱形都是不同的颜色。

Every diamond was a different color.

而且它丑到我的女朋友当时要求我别再穿着它和她的朋友们出去。

And it was bad enough that my girlfriend at the time asked me to stop wearing it out with her friends.

所以我本该把这件毛衣退役了。

So I should have retired this sweater.

但我没有把这件毛衣退役。

But I didn't retire this sweater.

所以有一天，我想应该是十一月。

So one day, I guess it was November.

是洗衣日，我不记得了。

It was laundry day, I don't know.

我穿上了它。

I wore it.

我想我就去办点小事吧。

I thought I'm just gonna run some errands.

我坐火车去了市中心。

I took the train downtown.

我在门罗站下车时，一位老年妇女被人打中脸部，手机被抢，两人跑下了火车。

I'm getting off at Monroe and an elderly woman gets punched in the face and they steal her phone and they run off the train.

就在一周前，我还在塞马克唐人街的火车上，另一个男人被击中脸部，手机也被抢走，他们跑下了火车，而我什么都没做。

And a week, literally a week before I was on the train at Cermak Chinatown and another man got punched in the face and they took his phone and they ran off the train and I did nothing.

所以一周后又发生了同样的事，我终于崩溃了。

So a week later it happens again and I sort of snapped.

于是我冲下火车，毫无计划，还穿着这件糟糕的菱形花纹毛衣。

So I run off the train, I have no plan, I'm wearing this terrible Argyle sweater.

我出门时还庆幸今天没人会看到我，结果我走上自动扶梯，冲着那两个青少年大喊——我想他们应该是青少年——请停下，他们却真的笑了，然后沿着州街跑掉了。

I'm I had left the house thinking luckily no one will see me today and I go up the escalator and I scream at these two teenagers, I guess they were, please stop and they laughed at they literally laughed at me and then they took off down State Street.

这时我的想法是：嘿，我应该能追上他们。

And so my plan at this point is, hey, can outrun them.

于是我开始奔跑。

So I I'm running.

我们沿着州街向南狂奔。

We're running south on State Street.

我报警了。

I call the police.

我对他们说：嘿，我正在跟踪这两个小偷。

I'm like, hey, I'm following these two thieves.

他们偷了一部iPhone。

They've taken an iPhone.

我现在在州街，接着到了瓦巴什街。

I'm on State and now I'm on Wabash.

你们能过来吗？

Could you guys come?

于是我们一边通话，我一边向路人示意：嘿，你们能绊倒他们吗？

And so we're having this conversation and I'm like signaling people like, hey, could you trip them?

你们能拦住他们吗？

Could you stop them?

他们偷了一部手机。

They've stolen a phone.

但我穿着这件糟糕的毛衣，没人当真。

But I'm wearing this terrible sweater and no one is taking me seriously.

所以我看起来很滑稽。

So I look ridiculous.

我们跑到门罗街的沃巴什大道时，看到一个戴着星章的人，我心想：谢天谢地，是警长。

We hit Wabash in Monroe and a guy with a star, I was like, thank God it's a sheriff.

我赶紧说：嘿，他们两个是小偷。

And I'm like, hey, keep there's they're thieves.

他却说：老兄，我是马歇尔百货的保安。

And he's like, dude, I'm a Marshall Fields cop.

我什么都做不了。

I can't do anything.

所以我们继续追。

So so we keep running.

他们跑进了一家H&M，然后就像情景喜剧一样。

They go into an they go into an h and m and then it's like a sitcom.

他们把衣服往下推，我就摔倒在衣服上。

They like push down the clothes and I like fall over them.

我们从H&M跑出来，他们冲进地铁，跳过闸机，我付了钱，因为我不想惹麻烦。

And we run out of the h and m and they run into the subway and they hop the turns tile and I pay and then because I didn't wanna get in trouble.

于是他们搭上了往南开的火车，因为他们坐的是往南的列车，就把我甩掉了。

So then they they catch the the train going south and they they got away from me because they were on the train going south.

于是我跑上楼梯，实际上已经过了五分钟，警察已经到了，我心想：哦，谢天谢地。

So I like go up the stairs and actually it's been like five minutes and the cops are there And I'm like, oh, thank God.

我就是那个打电话报警的人。

I'm the guy who called.

于是他们把我塞进警车后座，问我：他们上火车了吗？

And so then they they put me in the back of the cop car and they're like, are they on the train?

我说：对，他们上火车了。

I'm like, yeah, they're on the train.

于是我们以每小时一百英里的速度冲向罗斯福站，我真的不知道，但连续四个街区我们都是以每小时一百英里的速度行驶。

So we we go like a 100 miles an hour to Roosevelt and I seriously for four blocks we go a 100 miles an hour or I don't know.

然后他们说，等等。

And then we they're like, just hang on.

我们要慢慢把火车开到站台。

I'm gonna we're gonna slow roll the train to the station.

于是他们慢慢开，说，就在后面等着。

And so they they slow roll it and they're like, just hang in the back here.

我们要把他们带上来，你来认一下。

We're gonna we're gonna bring them up and you can ID them.

于是他们把他们带上来，我问，是他们吗？

And so they bring them up and I and like, is this them?

我说，对，就是他们。

I'm like, yeah, that's them.

他说道，干得漂亮。

He's like, oh, great job.

然后他说，等一下。

And then he's like, one sec.

他关上警车门，说：‘哦，该死。’

And he closes the cop door and he says, oh, shit.

然后我就被锁在警车后座了。

And then I'm locked to the back of the cop car.

他走的时候把钥匙忘在了点火开关上。

And he had locked left his keys in the ignition.

所以我坐在州街罗斯福附近整整一个小时。

So I'm on like State in Roosevelt for an hour.

我们堵住了所有车道，好多警察敲着车窗说：‘干得好，兄弟。’

We're blocking every lane of traffic and all these cops are knocking on the window like, good job man.

我们马上就能放你出来。

We'll get you out in a bit.

所以

So

那天晚些时候或下午，他们带我去警察局，我觉得那是在州街和第18街交汇处，他们当时其实是以目击者身份给我拍照。

later that night or that afternoon, they take me to the police station which I I think is on I think it was 1 on State And 18th and they had actually were taking photos of me as a witness.

所以我有一件特别难看的菱形图案毛衣，后来在法庭上被用作证据。

And so I had this terrible Argyle sweater which were later used in a court case.

那是我最后一次穿那件毛衣。

So that was the last time I ever wore that sweater.

谢谢。

Thank you.

这是乔纳森·曼海姆。

That was Jonathan Mannheim.

乔纳森是芝加哥的一名医生，专攻传染病。

Jonathan is a doctor in Chicago specializing in infectious diseases.

他喜欢骑自行车、跑步和种植后院蔬菜。

He likes biking, running, and backyard grown vegetables.

他和妻子利齐、两个儿子以及两只猫住在一起。

He lives with his wife, Lizzie, their two sons, and their two cats.

乔纳森告诉我们，他不幸很久以前就把那件臭名昭著的毛衣处理掉了。

Jonathan tells us that he unfortunately got rid of the infamous sweater a while ago.

然而，他说，如果他没扔掉，如今的人们一定会欣赏它那五彩斑斓的风采。

However, he says that if he hadn't, he thinks folks these days would appreciate it for all its Technicolor glory.

这也就到了我们本期节目的尾声。

That brings us to the end of our episode.

感谢我们的讲述者与我们分享故事，也感谢你们的收听。

Thank you to our storytellers for sharing with us and to you for listening.

来自The Moth的全体成员，愿你们度过一个温暖如毛衣般的一周。

From all of us here at the moth, have a warm sweater of a week.

克里斯蒂·阿内特·莫雷诺的故事由米歇尔·杰洛夫斯基指导。

Christy Arnett Moreno's story was coached by Michelle Jelowski.

马克·塞林格是The Moth播客的制作人，也是音频剧档案《81》和《与幽灵对话》的联合创作者，一个博物馆爱好者，同时也是一个读到自己简介时会感到非常别扭的人。

Mark Selinger is the podcast producer of the moth, the cocreator of the audio dramas archive 81 and conversations with ghosts, a lover of museums, and someone who feels very strange reading his own bio.

本期The Moth播客由莎拉·奥斯汀·贾内塞、莎拉·简·约翰逊和我——马克·塞林格共同制作。

This episode of the MOF podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Janesse, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Solinger.

The Moth的其他核心团队成员包括莎拉·哈伯曼、克里斯蒂娜·诺曼、玛丽娜·克卢切、詹妮弗·希克森、乔丹·卡迪纳尔、卡莱多尼亚·凯恩斯、凯特·泰勒、苏珊娜·鲁斯特和帕特里夏·乌雷纳。

The rest of the MOF's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Christina Norman, Marina Kluche, Jennifer Hixson, Jordan Cardinale, Caledonia Cairns, Kate Tellers, Suzanne Rust, and Patricia Urena.

《The Moth》播客由Odyssey呈现。

The Moth podcast is presented by Odyssey.

特别感谢他们的执行制片人利娅·里斯·丹尼斯。

Special thanks to their executive producer, Leah Reese Dennis.

所有《The Moth》故事均为讲述者记忆中的真实经历。

All moth stories are true as remembered by their storytellers.

如需了解我们的播客、提交故事的更多信息以及其他内容，请访问我们的网站：themoth.org。

For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.