310. 5个迹象表明你选错了职业道路

这是一档iHeart播客节目。

This is an iHeart podcast.

在《健康那些事》播客中，我们将解答所有让你夜不能寐的健康问题。

On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.

我是医生。

I'm Doctor.

普里扬卡·沃利，双委员会认证医师。

Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.

我是哈里·昆达博鲁，喜剧演员，曾凌晨3点搜索过‘我是不是得了坏血病？’的人。

And I'm Hari Kundabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I have scurvy at 3AM?

在我们的节目中，我们以独特视角探讨健康话题，比如那期关于糖尿病的专题。

And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes.

在美国，约50%的成年人处于糖尿病前期。

In The United States, I mean, fifty percent of Americans are prediabetic.

二型糖尿病有多大的可预防性？

How preventable is type two?

极高。

Extremely.

欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或任何播客平台收听《健康那些事》。

Listen to health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

她说：约翰尼，孩子们昨晚没回家。

And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night.

在德克萨斯州中部平原，青少年接连死亡——难以解释的自杀、离奇事故和残忍凶杀。

Along the Central Texas Plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense, strange accidents, and brutal murders.

这情节简直像是从《绝命毒师》里直接搬出来的。

In what seems to be a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.

毒品、酒精、人口贩卖。

Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.

确实有人知道事情的真相。

There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您获取播客的任何平台收听《纸面幽灵：德州青少年谋杀案》。

Listen to Paper Ghosts, the Texas Teen Murders on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

在iHeartRadio《文化人》全新一集中，詹妮弗·劳伦斯将畅谈真实的詹妮弗·劳伦斯。

On an all new episode of iHeartRadio's Los Culturistas, Jennifer Lawrence is dishing Jennifer Lawrence.

我们开始吧。

Let's go.

从她与一线明星那些尴尬到搞笑的偶遇，

From her hilariously awkward run ins with a listers.

我不

I don't

知道我在期待什么，但他只是说了句'很高兴

know what I was expecting, but he was just like, nice to

认识你'。

meet you.

到她对于美容护理毫无保留的看法，

To her unfiltered take on beauty treatments.

我太后悔在那之前打了肉毒杆菌。

I'm so upset I take the Botox before that.

还有一个令人瞠目结舌的爆料你绝对想不到。

And a jaw dropping reveal you won't see coming.

我不知道能不能宣布这个消息，但我决定直接说了。

I don't know if I can announce this, but I'm just gonna.

打开您的免费iHeartRadio应用，搜索《文化人》，立即收听完整播客。

Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Los Culturistas, and listen to the full podcast now.

当你得到...

What do you get when

你把1950年代的好莱坞、一个怀揣梦想的古巴音乐家，和史上最具标志性的情景喜剧混在一起会得到什么？

you mix nineteen fifties Hollywood, a Cuban musician with a dream, and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time?

你会得到德西·阿内斯。

You get Desi Arness.

在由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的播客中。

On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama.

我将带你走进德西的人生旅程，看他如何重新定义美国电视，以及这对我们这些在荧幕外等待看到相似面孔的观众意味着什么。

I'll take you on a journey to Desi's life, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like ours on screen.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客上收听由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的节目，

Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

或在你获取播客的任何平台收听。

or wherever you get your podcast.

大家好，欢迎回到《二十几岁的心理学》，这个播客我们将探讨二十多岁时的重大人生转变及其心理意义。

Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, The podcast where we talk through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.

大家好。

Hello everybody.

欢迎回到节目。

Welcome back to the show.

欢迎回到播客。

Welcome back to the podcast.

新听众、老听众，无论你身处世界何处，很高兴你们再次加入我们，一起解析二十多岁的心理奥秘。

New listeners, old listeners, wherever you are in the world, it is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our twenties.

这周对我来说非常美好。

It has been a beautiful week for me.

我刚和母亲从斐济母女旅行归来。

I am back from my mother daughter trip to Fiji.

我感觉焕然一新。

I feel refreshed.

我感到非常有动力。

I feel really motivated.

我感觉很好。

I feel good.

我和妈妈度过了最美好的时光。

I literally had the best time with my mom.

她非常有趣。

She is so much fun.

所以我感觉我回来得正是时候，可以投入工作。

So I feel like I'm back right in time to dive into work.

就像我离开的时间足够长，对回来感到兴奋。

Like I had enough time away to feel excited about coming back.

说到工作，实际上工作是我们今天节目的主题。

And you know, speaking of work, work is actually the subject of today's episode.

具体来说，那些你可能没有意识到或忽略的迹象，表明你的职业并不适合你。

Specifically, the signs that you may not be aware of or may be ignoring that your career is not right for you.

不仅仅是适合与否，而是极度不满、极度空虚、毫无成就感，也许你甚至还没有意识到。

Not just not right for you, but deeply dissatisfying, deeply unfulfilling, deeply unrewarding and perhaps you just haven't even realized it yet.

这些正是我希望有人能在我对上一份工作感到低落并努力维持时告诉我的迹象。

These are specifically signs that I wish someone had told me when I was feeling pretty low about my previous job and I was trying so hard to make it work.

现在我可以承认，我感受到的所有那些事情实际上都表明这个职业并不适合我。

And now I can acknowledge that all those things I was feeling were actually indicative that this career was just not right for me.

当我回顾过去，真希望我能早点做出改变。

When I look back, know, I wish I had made a change earlier.

我希望我的决策瘫痪和对未知的恐惧没有让我在不快乐的地方停留得比必要的时间更长。

I wish that my decision paralysis and fear of the unknown hadn't kept me in unhappy places for longer than I needed to be in them.

所以我正在运用一些智慧、学到的东西，以及一些技巧和心理学知识，来真正帮助你们弄清楚现在经历的只是糟糕的一周，还是对所做事情的更深层次不满。

And so I'm taking some of that wisdom, some of the things that I learnt, as well as some of the tips and some of the psychology to really help you guys figure out whether what you're experiencing right now is just a bad week or deeper dissatisfaction with what you are doing.

但更重要的是，那些表明你正在停滞不前或陷入困境的警示信号，当你知道自己并不快乐时。

But more importantly, the kind of warning signs that you are becoming stagnant or stuck when you know that you are not happy.

基本上，我们如何在职业和生活中做出改变，并拥有尝试新事物的勇气和胆量，而不是被时间、金钱、教育以及我们投入到一个根本不适合我们的工作或职业中的岁月所拖累。

Basically, how do we make a change in our career and in our lives and have the bravery and the courage to try something new before we feel further weighed down by time and money and the education and the years that we've invested into a job or a profession that you know simply isn't right for us.

工作确实很重要。

Work is really important.

做你关心的事情，即使在当前的就业市场中，也不一定非得是充满抱负的。

Doing something you care about doesn't have to be aspirational even in this current job market.

我想真正分享的是，你如何选择感觉更符合自己内心的事情，而不被这个非常有名但错误的‘梦想工作’观念所束缚。

And I want to really share how you can choose something that feels more aligned without feeling boxed in by this very notorious and incorrect idea of a dream job.

我还想谈谈当你真的知道是时候辞职了，即使你可能还没有其他安排。

I also want to talk about when you know it's really time to quit, even if maybe you don't have anything else lined up.

以及讨厌你的工作会以一些意想不到的方式影响你生活的其他方面，这些可能是你正在忽视的。

And also some of the surprising ways that hating your job shows up in all other dimensions of your life that you may or may not be ignoring.

所以，如果你对自己现在所做的事情是否真的是你余生想做的或真正关心的事情存有疑虑，这五个迹象一定会给你一些清晰的认识，并提供你可能在寻找的答案。

So if you have doubts lingering as to whether what you're doing now is really what you want to do for the rest of your life or something that you actually care about, these five signs will definitely give you some clarity and give you some of the answers that you are probably looking for.

那么，闲话少说，无论你是二十多岁还是更大年纪，让我们来看看表明你现在从事的职业可能不适合你的迹象。

So without further ado, whether you're in your twenties or maybe even beyond, let's get into the signs that the career you're in right now is maybe not the one for you.

请继续关注。

Stay with us.

如果你听了一段时间的播客，你可能已经知道这一点，但我深信，当谈到为你找到合适的职业、合适的道路、合适的工作时，并没有一个完美的答案。

If you have listened to the podcast for a while, you will probably know this, but it is my deep belief that when it comes to finding the right career, the right pathway, the right job for you, there isn't one.

不存在完美的工作。

There is not a perfect job.

没有所谓的梦想工作是没有缺点、没有坏日子、没有偶尔的空虚感的。

There is no such thing as a dream job that comes with no flaws, no downsides, no bad days, no occasional sense of emptiness.

而说这话的人，从各方面来看，现在拥有的已经是他们一生中能要求的最好工作了。

And that's coming from someone who, for all intents and purposes, has the best job that they could ask for in their life right now.

仍有一些事情我会想要改变。

There are still things that I would change.

我知道十年、二十年后，我对工作的看法很可能与现在不同，因为理想职业是不断演变的。

And I know that in ten, twenty years, I probably won't think the same about my job that I do now because dream jobs evolve.

我们的目标也在不断演变。

Our purpose evolves.

我们对工作与生活平衡的理解正不断被改变和挑战。

Our idea of work life balance is constantly being changed and being challenged.

但这并不意味着不存在某些天生就更适合的职业。

That doesn't necessarily mean though that there isn't some careers out there that simply fit better.

但我想事先说明：如果你来这里是想弄清什么是理想职业，很抱歉我甚至不相信这个概念，但希望能帮你更接近找到一份基本适合的工作。

But I do want to give that caveat at the beginning that if you are here to figure out what your dream job is, I'm sorry I don't even believe in that concept, but hopefully I can bring you closer to finding a job that is maybe almost there for you.

我还相信，改变方向、决定追求不同事物永远为时不晚。

Another thing I believe is that it's never too late to change, to shift gears, to essentially decide that you want something different.

当你意识到你的专业、工作、职业不适合时，无论在这条错误道路上走了多远，都要回头。

And at the point that you realize that your major, your job, your career isn't for you, no matter how far you have gone down the wrong road, turn back.

这是土耳其著名谚语，我认为不仅适用于职业生涯，也适用于感情、爱情等所有领域。

That is a very famous Turkish proverb that I think more of us ought to live by, not just in our professional lives but in relationships, in love, in anything.

但职业尤其如此，你知道，出于几个原因，很多人觉得风险很大。

Careers in particular though, you know, a lot feels at stake for a couple of reasons.

有几个原因让我们明知走错路却不愿回头。

There's a couple of reasons why we know we're on the wrong path and we don't turn around.

首先是工作让我们得以生存，让我们在这个由货币支配的世界里立足。

The first one being that, you know, our jobs, they allow us to live and they allow us to exist in a world that is ruled by currency and money.

工作支付我们的账单。

Jobs pay our bills.

所以没有备选方案就离职——我不知道你怎么想，我从未有过这种奢侈。

So simply leaving without having anything else lined up I don't know about you, I have never had that luxury.

其次，你可能在事业上投入了大量时间、精力和资源。

Secondly, you may have a lot of time, energy, resources tied up in your career.

假设你正在成为医生、心理学家或技工。

Say you're becoming a doctor or a psychologist or a trades person.

这通常意味着大量的学习、长时间技能训练，有时还包括巨额学生贷款和资金投入。

That typically means a lot of study, a lot of hours learning a skill, sometimes a lot of student loans, a lot of money invested.

你会真切地感到这些时间再也无法挽回。

You can really feel like you're not going to get that time back.

这些钱也再难收回。

You're not going to get that money back.

你让自己失望了。

You're letting yourself down.

你让家人失望了，这正是导致我们困在不属于自己位置的原因。

You're letting your family down and that's what causes us to stay in places that we don't belong.

本质上就是由于沉没成本效应。

Simply because of basically the sunk cost effect.

当然不仅如此，这不仅是时间、精力和金钱的投资，更是对自我身份的投资。

We also of course, it's not just an investment of time, energy, money, it's an investment of our identity.

我们选择的职业方向、憧憬的事业前景，构成了自我认知的重要部分。

What we choose to do for a living, what we hope to do for a living forms a large and significant part of who we see ourselves as.

知道人们最先问你的问题之一是什么吗？

You know what's one of the first things that people ask you?

你是做什么工作的？

What do you do for work?

你在学什么专业？

What are you studying?

这充分说明职业身份是我们被标签化的重要方式之一。

It just goes to show how much occupational identity is one of the ways that we are really pigeonholed.

我们把自己局限在框架里。

And that we pigeonhole ourselves.

要知道这些框架可能让人感到非常狭隘和束缚。

And you know pigeonholes may feel very small and restrictive.

但它们也可能让人感到非常安全和舒适。

They can also feel very safe and very comfortable.

所以决定放弃你正在研究的、正在做的事情去探索其他领域，特别是当你还不确定自己想尝试什么时，这种感觉就像自愿选择从悬崖踏入一个无底深渊。

So deciding to walk away from whatever you're studying, whatever you're doing and explore other things, especially if you don't know what else you want to try, it can feel like voluntarily choosing to step off a ledge into a large bottomless pit.

但待在错误的地方，情况并不会变得更容易。

But being in the wrong place, it doesn't get easier.

你只是对它的忍耐力提高了，直到某天你六十多岁回望人生时，才意识到自己当年多么年轻，意识到如果早点冒险离开内心深处并不热爱的事物，你本可以拥有更多时间。

Your tolerance for it just improves until, you know, one day you're in your sixties and you're looking back at your life and you're realizing how truly young you were, How much time you actually really did have ahead of you if you'd just taken the risk and walked away a little bit sooner from the thing that you knew deep down you didn't love.

为了避免这种遗憾，为了给自己这个机会，我们来讨论五个表明你可能入错行的迹象。

So to avoid that regret, to give ourselves that opportunity, let's discuss these five signs that you are probably in the wrong career.

第一个迹象。

Sign one.

你感到情感麻木，对正在做的事情充满恐惧，这种感觉远超过无聊。

You feel emotionally numb, you dread what you're doing and it's a feeling that goes way beyond boredom.

如果你恐惧每个周一，走进工作场所时情绪完全转变，完全抽离，不在乎是否被解雇，不在乎工作质量，不在乎任务延期，对当前事业毫无投入或成功的欲望，那这很可能不适合你。

If you dread every Monday, you feel your mood completely shift the moment you walk into work, you completely detach, you don't care if you're fired, you don't care if your work is good, you don't care if the assignment is late, you just have no desire to commit or succeed in what you're doing, this is probably the wrong career for you.

是的，工作不会每天都让你热血沸腾。但如果这将成为你生命的主要部分——据估算约9万小时——你总该感受到些什么。

Yes, a job isn't always going to put a fire in your belly every single day But if this is what you're going to spend the large majority of your life doing, 90,000 of your life according to some estimates, you want to feel something.

无论是自豪感、成就感，还是帮助他人的满足感，即使在艰难的日子里，你也需要有所感受。

Pride, accomplishment, that you're helping people, whatever it is, even on hard days, you want to feel something.

你不该毫无感觉，更不该只感到纯粹的焦虑。

You don't wanna feel nothing and you most certainly don't wanna feel just plain anxiety.

周日恐惧症就是另一个征兆。

The Sunday scaries are another indicator of this.

周日恐惧症，这是个常见术语，你可能听说过，它本质上指的是许多人在周日晚上因周末结束、工作日即将开始时产生的焦虑或恐惧感。

Sunday scaries, it's a common term, you've most likely heard of it but if not, it essentially refers to the anxiety or dread that many people experience on a Sunday evening as the weekend ends and the work week begins.

这种现象有科学解释。

And it has a scientific explanation.

周日恐惧症本质上是一种情绪预测或预期性恐惧。

Sunday scaries, it's essentially emotional forecasting or anticipatory dread.

你展望即将到来的一周时，几乎是在为未来的自己感到共情，预知他们将承受什么，某种程度上提前透支了他们的不快乐，导致你现在就感到痛苦。

You're looking at the week ahead and almost feeling empathy for your future self and what you'll know they have to endure and kind of almost borrowing their unhappiness so that you feel terrible right now.

你经历和忍受这种情绪越多，就会变得越发麻木。

And the more you experience this and endure this the more you start to become quite numb.

当你真正开始工作、返校或实习时，非但不会感受到周日的焦虑，反而会彻底关闭情绪。

Once you get into work or back to school or to your internship or whatever, instead of feeling all that anxiety you were feeling on Sunday, you actually end up shutting off.

你只是机械地应付差事。

You go through the motions.

这些都是心理上划分隔离的方式，而非真正承认'天啊，我真的很讨厌这样'。

All of this is a way to kind of mentally compartmentalize rather than really acknowledging like, wow, I really hate this.

因为承认自己厌恶现状意味着你可能需要采取行动，而你或许还没准备好面对。

Because realizing that you really hate this means that you probably have to do something about it and you just might not feel ready for that.

这也可能强烈预示着另一种现象——情绪钝化，即你对周遭事物基本失去感知能力。

So this can also be highly indicative of something else called emotional blunting, where you basically become numb to what is going on around you.

这种现象通常与抗抑郁药等特定药物有关，但也可能源于环境因素。

It's typically associated with certain medications such as antidepressants but it can also have an environmental origin.

比如你极度厌恶的工作场所或岗位，对其毫无积极感受。

Like a workplace or a job that you really hate or you feel absolutely nothing positive towards.

如果情况恶化，还可能发展成心理学家称为快感缺失的症状。

Now if this gets worse this can also develop into something that psychologists call anhedonia.

表现为对当前经历的事物缺乏兴趣、无法获得愉悦感和满足感。

So a lack of interest, a lack of enjoyment, a lack of pleasure in what you're experiencing.

就像人们描述的那样，仿佛审视自己的生活时，感觉一切都蒙上了一层灰色。

Almost like people describe it like looking at your life and feeling like there is a tinge of grey over everything.

在我们工作和职业的语境下，这往往源于身处一个迫使你压抑核心价值观和兴趣的环境。

And in this context, the context of our jobs and our careers, it often stems from being in an environment where your core values and your interests are being forced to be put away.

你可能甚至意识不到自己变得多么情感麻木，直到周末或假期，或是从事副业时突然又焕发生机。

And you may not even realize how emotionally flat you've become until the weekend or until you're on holiday or until you're working on a side project and suddenly like you come alive again.

就像在这里你才真正感受到自我的存在。

It's like this is where you really feel like yourself.

这种长期性的疏离感贯穿整个工作周，或是在学习时，或是从事不适合你的事情时。

This kind of chronic disconnection throughout the work week or whenever you're studying or whenever you're engaged in the thing that isn't right for you.

这是你的身心在沟通，本质上是在说：这不符合让我们快乐的标准。

This is your mind and your body communicating and essentially saying this is this is not fitting the bill for what makes us happy.

由于我们无法承认自己的不快乐，我们将感受不到任何情绪。

And because we can't acknowledge how unhappy we are, we're not going to feel anything.

这与第二个职业错配信号内在相关：你的身份与工作内容完全脱节。

This is intrinsically linked to the second sign that you are in the wrong career which is that your identity and what you are doing for work feel entirely out of sync.

2016年《职业行为杂志》的研究发现，职业满意度与所谓的身份契合度高度相关。

A 2016 study from the Journal of Vocational Behavior, it essentially found that career satisfaction is incredibly linked to something called identity alignment.

你的工作能在多大程度上反映你是谁。

How much your job reflects who you are.

身份契合度越高，你在从事工作时就会越快乐。

The more identity alignment you have, the happier you are going to be doing what you're doing.

几年前（甚至可能是十年前）的一项调查发现，近55%的美国人的身份认同很大部分来自工作。

There was a poll a couple of years ago, maybe even like a decade ago, that found almost 55% of Americans derive a really large part of their identity from their job.

随着我们在办公室和工作上投入的时间逐年大幅增加，我想这种身份投入肯定也随之增长。

And I think as our time spent in the office and working increases significantly year by year, I can only imagine that that identity investment has really increased.

如果你重视助人，而工作却是拒绝保险理赔，就会经历严重的认知失调，因为缺乏身份契合。

If you value helping others and your job is denying insurance claims, you will experience deep cognitive dissonance because you don't have identity alignment.

如果你热爱大自然，喜欢户外活动，却做着没有窗户的办公室工作，那问题就来了。

If you love nature and you love being outdoors and you work a desk job with no windows, same issue.

如果你真正重视智识追求和思维激荡，却从事着高度程序化、缺乏创造空间的常规工作，那么你又陷入了不协调状态。

If you really value intellectualism and being cognitively stimulated but you work a job that is very routine and process based with not much room for creativity, again, you have a disalignment.

身份认同的不协调与身体失调同样严重。

A disalignment in your identity is the same as a disalignment in your body.

这种感觉非常糟糕，你能明显感觉到出了问题。

It feels pretty terrible and you can tell that something is wrong.

这与一个叫做'自我概念清晰度'的概念非常相似。

This is very similar, to a concept called self-concept clarity.

自我概念清晰度本质上是指我们判断什么能让自己快乐、什么能让自己满足的能力。

So self-concept clarity is basically our ability to tell what's gonna make us happy and our ability to know what would make us satisfied.

所以如果你发现自己常说'这真的不像我'这样的话。

So if you find yourself saying things like, this just really doesn't feel like me.

比如'我讨厌这样的自己'。

Like, I hate who this makes me.

'我在工作中认不出自己是谁'。

I don't recognize who I am at work.

'我感觉像是另一个人'。

I feel like someone else.

这绝非小事。

That's not trivial.

这表明你的自我概念清晰度正在发挥作用，它正在与你对话，告诉你'这不是真正的我们'。

That is indicative that your self-concept clarity is coming into play and is communicating with you and telling you like, this isn't who we are.

'这不是我们想成为的样子'。

This isn't who we want to be.

如果你的生活与你认知中的自我不符，那你究竟是谁呢？

If you're not living your life in line with who you think you are, you know, who are you then?

比如，如果我们的生活和我们是什么样的人是由我们的行动、时间、工作地点等定义的，而这些却与我们真实的自我背道而驰，那么我们将会非常不快乐，你的身体和自我意识也会对此做出反应。

Like, if our life and the kind of person we are is defined by our actions and our and our actions and our time and where we work and all these other things is saying the opposite and representing the opposite of who we are, we are going to be very unhappy and your body and the rest of your sense of self will respond to that.

通过研究我们知道，这种不满会变得非常具体。

We know through research that this dissatisfaction becomes very tangible.

它会真切地体现在你的身体、思想、骨骼和肌肉中。

It becomes very felt in your body, in your mind, in your bones, in your muscles.

为了探索替代方案是什么，你知道，什么才能真正让我们更快乐？

In order to discover what the alternative would be, you know, what would actually make us happier?

我所谓的理想工作如果不是这个，那会是什么？

What would my so called dream job be that isn't this?

我们真的需要关注价值观，因为如果我们过着或从事着导致错位的职业，唯一恢复一致的方法就是重新确认我们真正在乎什么，然后通过工作去追求它。

We really need to then focus on values because if we're living or having a career that is creating disalignment, the only way to bring back alignment is to really really reaffirm what we care about and then find ways to seek that out through work.

有人曾经问过我的这个问题，我认为是实现这一目标的绝佳方法。

This question that someone asked me once I think is a really great way to do that.

如果你正在纠结生活中真正想做什么，只是知道不是现在这样，我想这个问题会有所帮助。

If you're struggling with what you really want to do in your life, you just know it's not this, I think this question will help.

基本上，如果你的整个身份、所有记忆、关于你生活的一切都被抹去，关于你作为一个人是谁的一切都被抹去，你现在拥有的五个价值观中，你会选择首先恢复哪些？

Basically, if your whole identity, all your memories, everything about your life had been erased, about who you were as a person had been erased, what are the five values that you have right now that you would choose to come back first?

这实际上是问'你认为自己的核心是什么'的另一种方式。

It's basically a different way of asking who do you see yourself as, like, at your core?

你认为最能代表你的五件事是什么？

What are the five things that you think represent you the most?

要求你的工作反映这些价值观，这真的有那么遥不可及吗？

And is it that far fetched that you can't ask for your work to reflect that?

如果这与你现在的处境相差甚远，如果这五件事在你的工作中完全没有体现，想象一下继续这样生活三四十年，你的价值观始终不一致。

If that feels like a stretch from where you are now, if those five things are not reflected in your work at all, imagine then going forward and living another thirty, forty years where your values aren't aligned.

我认为这个练习对那些不确定自己想做什么的人特别有效，因为它不是要求你确定一个理想工作作为替代。

The reason I think this exercise works so well for people who are like unsure of what they want to do is it's not asking you to identify your dream job as an alternative.

就像今天早上散步时我和朋友讨论这个，她说不知道自己的理想工作是什么。

Like I was having this discussion with my friend on a walk this morning and she was like, don't know what my dream job is.

然后我说，嗯，你可能根本没有所谓的理想工作。

And I was like, well, you probably don't have one.

你可能永远都找不到它。

You probably will never figure out what it is.

如果你一生都在寻找这个，可能会过得很不快乐。

If you search for that your entire life, you'll probably be unhappy.

但你可以做的是，确定一个能让你感到充实的广泛领域。

But what you can do is figure out a kind of broad range of things that you would feel really fulfilled doing.

明白吗？

You know?

而这正是这个方法能帮到你的地方。

And that's what this allows you to do.

它要求你明确自己的价值观，这些价值观可以通过不同职业以多种方式体现，不局限于某一种工作。

It's asking you to identify your values, which can then be expressed in different ways through different careers, not just one thing.

举个例子，假设你希望体现的核心价值观之一是脆弱性。

For example, if one of the values that you would want back is, let's say, vulnerability.

将脆弱性作为核心价值观，意味着你可以成为心理咨询师。

Vulnerability as a core value could mean that you could be a counselor.

你也可以做婚恋顾问。

You could also be a matchmaker.

可以做临终关怀护士。

You could be a hospice nurse.

还可以当康复中心主任。

You could be a rehab director.

有很多选择。

Many options.

不是一份理想工作，而是都植根于你所珍视的事物。

Not one dream job, but all rooted in what you value.

在工作中拥有这一点真的非常非常重要。

It's really, really important you have that in your work.

同样值得提及的是，当我们从工作中获取过多认同时会发生什么。

It's worth mentioning as well, what happens when we derive too much identity from work.

因为这确实可能导致同样可怕的结果。

Because that can really result in something equally kinda scary.

这被称为'身份纠缠'，你和工作永远无法分离。

It's called enmeshment, where you and your job are just never separate.

你在工作中的成功决定了你在其他所有方面的价值。

Your success at work determines your worth everywhere else.

你的兴趣，全是工作。

Your interests, all work.

你能感觉到人们已经厌倦你总谈工作。

You can hear people getting sick of you talking about work.

你思考的一切，都是工作。

Everything you think about, work.

我承认，当我刚开始全职做播客和Mantra时，就陷入了这个陷阱。

I will admit, I fell into this trap when I first started doing my podcast full time and then Mantra as well.

要知道，我太爱这两个播客了，它们如此真实地反映了我这个人，我投入了大量时间让它们变得优质且成功。

You know, I love both of those podcasts so much and it was they are such a reflection of who I am and so much time goes into making them good and successful.

而刚开始时，一切都处于风险之中。

And when I first started, there was so much at stake.

比如，我已经辞掉了全职工作。

Like, I'd quit my full time job.

可以说，我几乎没有余力去思考其他事情。

Like, there wasn't much room for me to think about anything else.

还因为这个播客，就是你正在听的这个，它曾经只是我的一个爱好。

And also because this podcast, the one you're listening to, like, this used to be a hobby.

对吧？

Right?

然后，这里原本是我用来暂时忘记工作的地方，突然间它却成了我的工作，再没有什么能填补这个空缺。

And then, like, this was the place I went to kind of not think about work and then suddenly it was my job and nothing filled its place.

就像，我的生活完全失去了平衡感。

Like, I didn't have any sense of balance in my life.

我的全部身份认同就是这个。

My entire identity was this.

天啊，我那时真是乏味透顶。

And oh my gosh, was I completely uninteresting.

尤其对我自己来说。

Especially to myself.

我对自己都感到厌倦。

Like, I was bored of myself.

我精疲力竭。

I was exhausted.

所有小挫折都显得无比巨大，因为我的职业生涯背负了太多东西。

All the small setbacks felt enormous because there was so much being balanced on the back of my career.

所以你可能做得太过火了。

So you can take it too far.

我想这也是给我们的提醒：希望工作能体现个人价值没有错，但你也必须活得比工作更广阔。

I think it's our reminder as well to it's okay to wanna be your values to be reflected in work, but you also have to be bigger than work.

我和男友有个约定。

Me and my boyfriend have this rule.

回家后必须先聊点别的，才能谈工作。

Before we talk about work when we get home, we have to talk about something else.

一个播客、健身房、听来的故事、或是新闻里让我们兴奋的事情

A podcast, the gym, a story we heard, something, like, we're excited about, something in the news.

这对我们非常重要，因为我们都深深投入于自己的职业工作

It's really important for us because both of us are deeply invested in what we do for a living.

我喜欢用五指测试来形象化地衡量生活是否平衡

I like to visualize it as a five finger test for whether you have balance.

如果你伸出五根手指，工作只是其中一根，其他四根必须用不同事物填满

If you hold up five fingers, if work is one of your fingers, you have to have four things to fill the other fingers.

你必须有一个爱好、一项兴趣、一群朋友

You have to have a hobby, you have to have an interest, you have to have friends.

你必须拥有另外四件真正在意的事情

You have to have four other things that you really care about.

如果无法为每根手指分配与工作同等重要的人生事项，这就是需要重新思考精力分配的警示信号

And if you cannot assign each of your fingers something else in your life that feels as important as work, like, that is a warning and that is a sign to rethink where your energy is being directed to.

你的身份认同就像一组水桶

Like, your identity is a series of buckets.

工作只是其中一个桶

Work is just one bucket.

我们需要其他重视和关心的事物

We want to have other things that we value and other things that we care about.

现在就立刻开始行动

Like literally do it right now.

伸出你的五根手指

Hold up five fingers.

如果工作占一根，其他四根是什么？

If work is one, what are the others?

生活中还需要什么，才能让你的身份认同得到体现，但又不被工作完全定义？

What else might you need in your life to feel like your identity is reflected in what you do, but it's not everything?

以上就是我们最初的两个征兆。

So those are our first two signs.

我们现在要短暂休息一下，但回来后我将分享三个最终指标，可能表明你当前所做的事情并不完全适合你。

We're gonna take a short break here, but when we return, I have three final indicators that maybe what you're doing right now is not exactly right for you.

所以请继续关注我们。

So stay with us.

在《健康那些事儿》播客中，我们将解答所有让你夜不能寐的健康问题。

On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.

是的，我是医生。

Yes, I'm Doctor.

普里扬卡·沃利，拥有双委员会认证的医师。

Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.

我是哈里·昆达波鲁，喜剧演员，也是曾在凌晨三点搜索'我是不是得了坏血病'的人。

And I'm Hari Kundabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I have scurvy at 3AM?

在《健康那些事儿》里，我们用不同视角探讨健康话题。

On Health Stuff, we're talking about health in a different way.

这不仅关乎我们如何改善健康。

It's not only about what we can do to improve our health.

更在于我们的健康状况如何反映生活方式。

But also what our health says about us and the way we're living.

比如我们讨论糖尿病的那期节目。

Like our episode where we look at diabetes.

在美国，约50%的民众处于糖尿病前期。

In The United States, I mean, fifty percent of Americans are prediabetic.

二型糖尿病有多大的可预防性？

How preventable is type two?

极高。

Extremely.

或者我们对芒果不可思议之处的深度分析

Or our in-depth analysis of how incredible mangoes

是。

are.

哦，这很难向世界其他地方解释

Oh, it's hard to explain to rest of the world

你喜欢，你的芒果没问题，因为芒果确实不可思议，但你可能根本不知道。

that you like, your mangoes are fine because mangoes are incredible, but, like, you don't even know.

你不知道。

You don't know.

你不知道。

You don't know.

这将是一段有趣的旅程，敬请收听。

It's going to be a fun ride, so tune in.

在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你获取播客的任何平台收听健康相关内容。

Listen to health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

她说，约翰尼，孩子们昨晚没回家。

And she said, Johnny, the kids didn't come home last night.

在德克萨斯州中部平原，青少年接连死亡——无法解释的自杀、离奇事故，以及如同《绝命毒师》情节般的残忍谋杀。

Along the Central Texas Plains, teens are dying, suicides that don't make sense, strange accidents, and brutal murders in what seems to be a plot ripped straight out of Breaking Bad.

毒品、酒精、人口贩卖。

Drugs, alcohol, trafficking of people.

绝对有人知道发生了什么。

There are people out there that absolutely know what happened.

在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你获取播客的任何平台收听《纸幽灵：德州青少年谋杀案》。

Listen to Paper Ghosts, the Texas Teen Murders on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

当你得到

What do you get when

你能想象五十年代的好莱坞吗？

you mix nineteen fifties Hollywood?

一个怀揣梦想的古巴音乐家，创造了史上最具标志性的情景喜剧之一。

A Cuban musician with a dream and one of the most iconic sitcoms of all time.

这就是德西·阿纳兹——开拓者、商人、丈夫，或许最重要的是，他是首位打破黄金时段壁垒的拉丁裔明星。

You get Desi Arness, a trailblazer, a businessman, a husband, and maybe most importantly, the first Latino to break prime time wide open.

我是威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛，没错，我从小就看他的节目，可能就像你和数百万观众一样。

I'm Wilmer Valderrama, and yes, I grew up watching him, probably just like you and millions of others.

但对我来说，我在他的故事中看到了自己的影子。

But for me, I saw myself in his story.

从清洗金丝雀笼子到今晚站在纽约的舞台上，这真是漫长的旅程。

From cleaning canary cages to this night here in New York, it's a long ways.

在这档由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的播客中，我将带领

On the podcast starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama, I'll take

你踏上探索德西人生的旅程，那些他与我的生命交汇时刻，他如何重新定义了美国电视，以及这对我们这些在荧幕外等待看到自己面孔的观众意味着什么。

you in a journey to Desi's life, the moments he has overlapped with mine, how he redefined American television, and what that meant for all of us watching from the sidelines, waiting for a face like ours on screen.

这是一个关于某个人的聚光灯如何为无数后来者照亮道路的故事，也是关于我们如何传承他遗产的故事。

This is the story of how one man's spotlight lit the path for so many others and how we carry his legacy today.

请收听由德西·阿纳兹和威尔默·瓦尔德拉玛主演的节目，这是My Cultura播客网络的一部分，可在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客

Listen to starring Desi Arnaz and Wilmer Valderrama That's part of the My Cultura podcast network available on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast,

或任何你获取播客的平台收听。

or wherever you get your podcast.

彭博新闻的《大事件播客》每周工作日都会深入探讨一个全球商业大事件。

The Big Tick Podcast from Bloomberg News dives deep into one big global business story every week weekday.

停摆意味着我们无法获取数据，但对特朗普总统而言也意味着劳动力市场不会传来坏消息。

A shutdown means that we don't get the data, but it also means for president Trump that there's no chance of bad news on the labor market.

一个培根鸡蛋奶酪三明治能揭示什么经济现象？

What does a bacon, egg, and cheese sandwich reveal about the economy?

我们的早餐食品属于稳定的消费品，因此它们某种程度上成为了通胀的放大指标。

Our breakfast foods are consistent consumer staples, and so they sort of become outsized indicators of inflation.

埃隆·马斯克万亿美金薪酬方案背后有何玄机？

What's behind Elon Musk's trillion dollar payout?

现在有种协同造势的迹象，传递着'马斯克即将回归'的信号。

There's a sort of concerted effort to to message that Musk is coming back.

他正在将政治立场搁置一旁。

He's putting politics aside.

他已离开白宫。

He's left the White House.

PCE指数能告诉你哪些CPI无法反映的信息？

And what can the PCE tell you that the CPI can't?

CPI试图衡量消费者为商品支付的实际现金成本，而美联储关注的PCE指数则是覆盖范围更广的衡量指标。

CPI tries to measure out of pocket costs that consumers are paying for things, whereas the PCE index that the Fed targets is a little bit broader of a measure.

每个工作日下午，您可通过iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任意播客平台收听彭博新闻社的《大事件》栏目。

Listen to the big take from Bloomberg News every weekday afternoon on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

好的。

Okay.

你准备好接收第三个'职业不适合你'的信号了吗？

Are you ready for the third sign that your career is not right for you?

就是这个。

Here it is.

你思考离职故事的时间，远多于规划自己在这份职业、这家公司、这个行业中未来五年的发展。

You think more about your quitting story than your five year plan in this career, in this company, in this industry.

人人都爱听精彩的离职故事。

Everyone loves a good quitting story.

记得我在大学时曾在一家牛排馆打工。

I remember when I worked at a steak restaurant back in uni.

那场景太可怕了。

It was so horrific.

每一天，我走进工作岗位开始轮班时，都会想：今天就是我要行动的日子。

Every single day, I would walk in to the start of my shift, and I think this is the this is the day I'm gonna do it.

就像，只需要一个导火索就能让我彻底崩溃然后辞职。

Like, just need one reason to push me over the edge and I will quit.

我明知自己不会那么做，因为需要这份工作，但还是会这样想。

I will do it knowing that I wouldn't because I needed the job.

后来疫情爆发，直接剥夺了我上演史诗级辞职大戏的机会。

And then, you know, COVID came along and stole my epic quitting story for me.

但工作中持续萌生辞职念头的事实，表明了一种更深层次的不快乐。

But the fact that I was thinking about quitting constantly at work indicated a much deeper unhappiness.

对你而言，辞职可能正在变成一种执念。

Quitting for you, it may be becoming a fixation.

一种你无法停止盘旋的强迫性念头，它不断占据你大脑的新循环。

An obsessive interest that you cannot stop circling and that won't stop dominating the new cycle of your brain.

你幻想着彻底颠覆现有生活——突然崩溃消失、某天再也不去上班、搬到哥斯达黎加...无论具体是什么，这些念头充斥着你全部的思绪。

You fantasize about burning your life to the ground, crashing out, disappearing, just not coming in one day, moving to Costa Rica, whatever it is, that is all you can think about.

光是想象这些就让你感到快乐。

It brings you joy to think about it.

当对幻想的投入超过现实时，就说明现状确实不适合你。

Being invested in the fantasy more than reality is indicative that this isn't right for you.

要知道，白日梦并不总是坏事。

You know, daydreaming, it isn't always bad.

它实际上可以是一种极具创造性的应对机制。

It can actually be a really creative coping mechanism.

但如果你不断逃避到改行换业的幻想中，那就不只是想象力在作祟了。

But if you're constantly escaping into the idea of doing something else, being someone else professionally, that's not just your imagination.

这就是认知分离，是工作中的逃避行为。

That is cognitive separation, that is escapism at work.

它还有另一个名称，适应不良性白日梦。

It has another name as well, maladaptive daydreaming.

如果你听过我们关于这个话题的整期节目，你就会明白我在说什么。适应不良性白日梦本质上是指你因过度沉浸在对可能性的幻想中，而感觉与现实脱节。

If you've listened to the whole episode that we did on this you will know what I'm talking about but maladaptive daydreaming is essentially where you feel detached from reality because you're spending too much time in the fantasy of what could be.

这确实意味着你最终会忽视现实生活中的责任、现实生活、人际关系、工作关系、截止日期等所有这类事情。

And it does mean that you end up neglecting real life responsibilities, real life, relationships, work relationships, deadlines, all those kinds of things.

在你执着于辞职想法的那些时刻，我实话告诉你，情况很可能不会好转。

In those instances where you're obsessing over the idea of quitting, I'm gonna be completely honest with you, it's probably not going to get better.

可能是时候开始寻找更好的工作了。

It's probably time to start searching for a better job.

就像他们说的关于感情关系那样。

It's like what they say about a relationship.

对吧？

Right?

就像，一旦你认真考虑过分手，或者对某人产生了厌恶感，你就无法回头了。

Like, once you get once you have seriously considered breaking up or once you have gotten the ick over somebody, like, you're not there's you're not going back from that.

无论之后你坚持多久，一旦你在心里真正结束了一段感情或辞去一份工作，就再也回不到从前了。

Like, no matter how long you hold on for afterwards, once you have seriously quit a relationship or quit a job in your mind, it's never gonna be the same.

可能也不只是想象辞职。

It might not be quitting your imagining as well.

可能是其他事情，比如幻想另一份工作，幻想下一次假期，幻想下一次关机休息的时刻。

Like, might be something else, like fantasizing about a different job, fantasizing about your next holiday, the next time you switch off.

这会变得不健康，实际上最终可能会破坏你当前的职业生涯和现有处境。

That's going to become unhealthy, and it can actually end up, you know you can end up sabotaging your current career and sabotaging where you're currently at.

问题是，尽管你现在讨厌你的工作，但你确实想换一份工作，这意味着你需要有良好的推荐信和积极的工作关系。

The thing is as much as you hate your job right now you do want to get another one and that means having good references and having positive working relationships.

我真希望自己在二十多岁时就明白这个道理。

It is something I wish I had learned earlier in my twenties.

不要因为一时的情绪而断了自己的后路。

Don't burn bridges based on momentary feelings.

你永远不知道什么时候会需要那座桥。

You never know when you'll need that bridge later on.

所以不妨试着在日常中留有余地，或许可以尝试一点'安静离职'的策略。

So instead, try and keep at least one foot in your day to day and maybe participate in a little bit of quiet quitting.

但要为未来着想。

But think about the future here.

不要完全荒废你的工作。

Don't just completely, like, neglect your job.

要聪明地思考这个问题。

Think about it smart.

也请不要想当然地认为所有人对工作都是这种感觉。

And don't please don't just let yourself think that this is how everyone feels about work.

事实并非如此。

It's not.

你本不必如此煎熬。

You don't have to feel this way.

要知道，你一天中最美好的时光不该是午餐时幻想永远不用回去工作的那三十分钟。

You know, the best part of your day should not be the thirty minutes at lunch where you fantasize about how nice it would be to never go back in.

你有权利追求更多。

You're allowed to want more.