本集简介
双语字幕
仅展示文本字幕，不包含中文音频；想边听边看，请使用 Bayt 播客 App。
这是一个iHeart播客。
This is an iHeart podcast.
在《健康那些事》播客中，我们将解答所有让你夜不能寐的健康问题。
On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
我是医生。
I'm Doctor.
普里扬卡·沃利，双重认证医师。
Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.
我是哈里·昆达波鲁，喜剧演员，曾在凌晨3点搜索过‘我是不是得了坏血病？’
And I'm Hari Kundabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I have scurvy at 3AM?
在我们的节目中，我们用不同方式探讨健康话题，比如有一期我们讨论了糖尿病。
And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes.
在美国，50%的民众处于糖尿病前期状态。
In The United States, I mean, fifty percent of Americans are prediabetic.
二型糖尿病有多大的可预防性？
How preventable is type two?
极其。
Extremely.
请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或任何你获取播客的地方收听《健康那些事》。
Listen to health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯，这位是雅各布·戈德斯坦。
I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最杰出的创意、人物与企业。
And now we're back making this new podcast called business history about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
以及商业史上最恶劣的人物、糟糕的创意和具有破坏性的公司。
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business.
首期节目：西南航空如何凭借廉价机票和免费威士忌在航空业杀出一条血路。
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.
史上最德克萨斯的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
收听《商业历史》节目，请访问
Listen to business history on
iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客
the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
无论你在哪里收听播客。
or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿，你好。
Hey there.
我是杰西·米尔斯医生。
Doctor Jesse Mills here.
我是加州大学洛杉矶分校男性诊所的主任，想跟大家介绍我的新播客《邮件室》。
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA, and I wanna tell you about my new podcast called The Mail Room.
我是乔丹，这档节目的制作人。
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
和大多数男性一样，我也有很久没去看医生了。
And like most guys, I haven't been to the doctor in way too long.
我将提出那些我们本该问却未曾问的问题。
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't.
每周我们都会深入探讨男性健康领域，从睾酮与健身到饮食与生育能力。
Every week, we're breaking down the world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility.
我们将用通俗语言讲解科学，为你解答那些真正困扰你的问题。
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或你喜爱的播客平台上收听《The Mail Room》。
So check out the mail room on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
在iHeartRadio《Los Culturistas》全新一集中，艾美奖、金球奖和托尼奖得主莎拉·保罗森揭秘红毯造型秘诀。
On an all new episode of iHeartRadio's Los Culturistas, Emmy, Golden Clope, and Tony award winner Sarah Paulson spills on red carpet hacks.
我们看到这些照片时，
We saw these pictures,
就在想：这背后有什么故事？
and we're like, what is the story with this?
她坦诚分享了塑造角色的灵感来源。
She gets real about the inspiration behind her roles.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
人们的行为真是没有下限。
There is no end to how people will behave.
她还给主持人马特·罗杰斯、博和耶格提了个醒。
And she puts host Matt Rogers and Bo and Yegg on notice.
我可不这么认为，亲爱的。
I don't think so, honey.
这个让我感到非常、非常不爽。
I feel very, very triggered by this.
打开你的免费iHeartRadio应用。
Open your free iHeartRadio app.
搜索lust Culturista，立即收听完整播客。
Search lust Culturista, and listen to the full podcast now.
大家好啊？
What up, y'all?
我是你们的老朋友凯文，现在在台上。
It's your boy, Kev on stage.
我想跟大家聊聊我的新播客《并非最佳时刻》，节目中我会与艺术家、运动员、演艺人员、创作者、朋友以及我敬佩的成功人士，探讨他们遭遇过的重大失败。
I wanna tell you about my new podcast called not my best moment where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures.
他们搞砸了什么？
What did they mess up on?
他们经历过怎样的心碎时刻？
What is their heartbreak?
他们从中又学到了什么？
And what did they learn from it?
我受到了极其严苛的评判。
I got judged horribly.
评委们直接说：你就是垃圾。
The judges were like, you're trash.
他们还说：真不知道你是怎么入选节目的。
I don't know how you got on the show.
欢迎收听《我的低谷时刻》，在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客、YouTube或你常用的播客平台都能找到。
Check out not my best moment with me kept on stage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
我是杰玛·斯派克，欢迎回到《二十几岁的心理学》，这档播客我们将探讨二十多岁阶段最重大的变化、时刻与转折，以及它们对我们心理的影响。
I'm Gemma Spike, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and what they mean for our psychology.
在开始之前，我想提醒各位，本期节目会涉及性侵、骚扰和创伤等内容的讨论。
Before we get into it, I just want to let you know that this episode involves discussions of sexual assault, harassment and trauma.
如果这些话题对你来说特别敏感，请考虑现在是否适合收听本期节目，并务必照顾好自己。
So if those subjects are things that you're particularly sensitive to, please just consider whether this is the right time to be listening to this episode and just make sure to take care of yourself.
节目描述中会提供更多相关资源。
There will be additional resources in the episode description.
大家好。
Hello everybody.
欢迎回到节目。
Welcome back to the show.
欢迎回到播客节目。
Welcome back to the podcast.
新听众、老听众，很高兴你们再次收听。
New listeners, old listeners, it's so great to have you back.
今天，我就直接切入主题了。
Today, I'm just gonna cut right to the chase.
我们要聊的是性话题。
We're talking about sex.
更具体地说，我们将探讨为什么有些人就是对性不太感兴趣。
More specifically, we're gonna talk about why some of us are just not that interested.
为什么会有这样的时期，性似乎失去了吸引力，变得不那么令人愉悦。
Why there are these periods where, you know, sex just kind of loses its appeal and like isn't really enjoyable.
我认为我们一直被灌输一种观念，认为二十多岁是性欲巅峰的十年。
I think we've been fed this story that your twenties are this decade of peak sexual desire.
激情、魅力、感性、性自信。
Passion, magnetism, sensuality, sexual confidence.
要知道，我们可能想象自己能拥有尽可能多的性爱，而且每次都很美好，诸如此类。
You know, we might picture ourselves having as much sex as possible and all the sex is good and you know, whatever.
但我认为这种想象未必是现实，如果你反而感到与自己的身体疏离、对性缺乏热情、与伴侣脱节，甚至与自身的性感绝缘呢？
I don't think that picture is necessarily reality and what if instead you feel kind of distant from your body, unenthusiastic about sex, disconnected from your partner or maybe just your own sensuality.
坦白说——我知道父母也在听这个播客，所以爸妈和家人们可以跳过这段——
To be super candid and I know my parents listen to the podcast so mum, dad, family members you can skip this one.
但我觉得自己已经相当坦率地谈论过今年发生的一些莫名可怕的身体状况
But I feel like I've been quite open about some just like random scary health stuff that has been going on
这
this
而我的性欲确实因此受到了影响。
year and my libido has really been impacted by that.
现在绝对处于历史最低点。
It is definitely at an all time low.
而且我正处于一段长期关系中，当老实说你只是单纯不想要性行为，而这完全与对方无关时，这种状态真的很难处理。
I'm also in a long term relationship and that can be really hard to navigate when honestly like you just you feel you just don't want sex and it's not because of them at all.
这只是因为你的身体感到非常疲惫，承受着巨大压力，生活中充满不确定性。
It's just because your body feels so tired, you're under so much stress, like there's so much uncertainty.
从激素层面看，所有这些变化都在幕后发生，谈论起来有些尴尬，虽然这其实是再正常不过的事，但我们却很少公开讨论。
Hormonally, all of these things are happening behind the scenes and it feels kind of awkward to talk about it and it feels like not something that we openly discuss when it is super super normal.
所以如果你正经历这些，我想告诉你：你并不孤单。
So if that's you, I just wanna let you know you're not the only one.
我现在就完全处于这种状态。
I'm definitely in that boat right now.
我知道很多二十多岁的年轻人都是如此。
I know a lot of other people in their twenties are.
通过和朋友及熟人的交流，我了解到这种情况远比想象中普遍——有时就是会突然失去兴趣，性欲低下，需要在新的人生阶段重新适应自己的性特征和感官体验。
And, you know, I've learned from just, like, talking to my friends and people I know about this that, like, it's so much more common than you think to just, like, sometimes just lose a lot of interest and just to have a low libido and just to be adjusting to your your sexuality and your sensuality in like a new decade and a new period of your life.
在性这件事上，人们很容易...
With sex you know it's so easy.
我们很容易误以为别人的性生活都比自己更频繁更美满。而羞耻感恰恰阻碍了有意义的对话，也阻碍了我们更好地理解自我。
It would be so it's so easy to assume that everyone else is having more sex and better sex than you are And I think shame just acts as a barrier for any meaningful conversation around this and for any kind of hope for understanding ourselves a little bit better.
所以我们今天就要打破这种局面，开诚布公地谈谈这个话题。
So we're just gonna do away with that today and talk about it openly.
聊聊为什么性欲有时会波动，为什么这在二十多岁时很常见，你的大脑和荷尔蒙在背后可能发生了什么变化，以及一些可能帮助你重新找回愉悦感和与他人或自己建立联结感的更广泛方法。
Talk about why sometimes alibido fluctuates, why it's really common in your 20s, what might be happening behind the scenes in your brain with your hormones, and maybe some of the broader ways that you can kind of get back to this feeling of pleasure and this feeling of connection with another person or with yourself.
所以今天能探讨这个话题让我非常兴奋。
So I'm super excited to jump into this topic today.
希望你也一样。
I hope you are too.
闲话少说，让我们来谈谈性以及为什么你现在可能不想要。
Without further ado, let's talk about sex and why you might not want any right now.
请继续关注。
Stay with us.
我认为我们往往会觉得有些人就是比其他人更喜欢性。
I think we tend to think that some people just like sex more than others.
但事实上，除非你是无性恋者且几乎感受不到性吸引力，否则我们大多数人的欲望会随着人生阶段的不同而发生相当剧烈的变化。
But really, unless you're someone who is asexual and experiences no or very limited sexual attraction, most of us our desires change over time quite intensely depending on our season of life.
我们的性欲并非一成不变，非此即彼的概念。
Our libido is not this static concept that is one way or the other way.
它是极其动态变化的。
It's incredibly dynamic.
它会根据你的心理状态和环境状况而演变。
It's something that evolves depending on what's going on for you mentally and environmentally.
有时甚至瞬息万变，可能瞬间高涨又瞬间低落。
Sometimes even by the second it can be really high and then really low.
性欲低下并不一定意味着完全不想发生性行为。
Now a low libido doesn't necessarily mean the absence of wanting sex.
有时它更像是一种潜在的，不是不适，而是一种漠然。
Sometimes it just feels more like an underlying just not discomfort but just apathy.
你可能在乎伴侣、爱着伴侣、觉得他们很性感、认为他们很棒、渴望他们的爱意、想要情感纽带，但当那一刻来临时，你就是无法投入其中。
You know you may care about your partner, love your partner, think they're really hot, think they're amazing, want their affection, want the emotional bond but when like that moment arrives you just can't get into it.
我过去常这样形容：就像有人给你看似美味的东西——可能是你最爱的食物——但你有点饱了，吃不吃都无所谓。
How I've described it in the past is like when someone offers you something that you think will be really yummy that it could be literally your favorite food but you're kind of full anyways but you just you could take it or leave it.
你就像真的不饿一样，其实并不太想要。
You just start really like, you're not hungry, you don't really want it.
那依然是你最爱的食物，但你知道自己是想享受它的。
It's still your favorite food but you know you want to enjoy it.
你明白自己是想享受它的，只是基于当下的感受所以选择放弃。
You know you want to enjoy it just based on how you're feeling so you leave it.
经历这样的阶段其实完全正常，但让这种体验变得特别困难的不是波动本身，而是我们赋予它的意义。
It's actually totally normal to go through periods like this but what makes this experience pretty difficult is not the fluctuation itself, it's the meaning we attach to it.
我偶然看到2021年印第安纳大学金赛研究所研究人员做的一项调查。
I came across the survey done in 2021 by researchers at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University.
他们专攻性、人际关系和幸福感研究，并与情趣用品零售商Love Honey合作，对18至45岁的已婚成年人进行了调查。
They specialize in research on sex, on relationships, on well-being and they teamed up with the sex retailer Love Honey to conduct a survey amongst married adults aged 18 to 45.
他们真正想了解的是这些参与者对性欲的看法。
And what they really wanted to know was like these participants perspectives on sexual desire.
调查发现，在1997年后出生且已婚的人群中，有11%的人报告过去一年存在性欲问题——即性欲缺失。
What they found was that eleven percent of people who were born after 1997 and who were also married reported problems with sexual desire, that they were lacking it in the past year.
而对于年龄在27岁至41岁之间的人群，这一比例上升至超过25%。
And this increased to over twenty five percent for people who were between the ages of, I think it was like 27 and like 41.
很多人正面临这个问题。
A lot of people are having this problem.
2010年在法国进行的另一项研究调查了2300多名15至24岁的随机受访者，结果显示性欲缺乏确实是非常普遍的问题。
A further study that was conducted in France in 2010 looked at a random sample of over 2,300 respondents aged 15 to 24 and what the results showed was that a lack of sexual desire were really really commonly cited problems.
尤其在女性群体中更为突出。
Especially amongst women.
15至24岁的女性中有24%表示有时或经常缺乏性欲，而男性受访者中这一比例仅为10%。
Twenty four percent of these women aged 15 to 24 reported experiencing a lack of sexual desire either sometimes or often compared to only ten percent of male respondents.
这甚至还不包括那些因感到尴尬而选择不报告的人。
And that doesn't even account for the people who don't report it because they feel weird about it.
重申一下，让情况困难十倍的是社会灌输给我们的性观念所带来的期待。
Again, what makes this 10 times harder is the expectation we have about sex because of the narratives we've been told by society.
特别是当我们感受不到这种激情的时候。
Especially when we're not feeling this spark.
要知道，我们总以为别人的性生活比我们更频繁。
You know, we do assume everybody's having more sex than us.
但事实并非如此。
Thing is, that's actually not the case.
真的，绝对不是这样，尤其是二十多岁的年轻人。
That's really like, it definitely isn't the case, especially if you're in your twenties.
其实大多数人并没有很棒的性生活，也远没达到他们人生中的最佳状态。
Like, most people aren't having great sex, and they aren't having the best sex of their lives.
这甚至远未达到你性欲或性成熟的巅峰期。
This is not even close to like your peak of sexual desire or sexual maturity yet.
大量研究指出，尤其是男性，他们的性欲在二十五岁左右达到顶峰。
A lot of research points to men in particular, their sexual desire peaking around the mid twenties.
而女性的情况则截然不同。
For women, a really different picture.
2010年发表在《人格与个体差异》期刊上的一项研究发现，女性的性欲实际上在30至45岁之间达到高峰。
A 2010 study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences found that women's sexual desire actually peaks between 30 to 45.
显然，这个年龄段相当宽泛，但该年龄段中绝大多数人报告的欲望水平明显高于18至27岁的年轻女性。
And obviously, that's a pretty large age group, but almost the majority of people in that age bracket reported significantly higher desire levels compared to the younger women aged 18 to 27.
我们绝对需要摒弃'二十多岁是最佳时期'这种说法。
We absolutely need to get rid of this narrative that your twenties are the best.
无论从哪方面看都不是最佳时期，特别是就性体验而言——尤其是针对本期话题。
The best in anything really, but like sex, especially for this episode.
这根本不符合事实。
It's just not true.
真的，这完全不是事实。
Like, it's just not true.
我们对欲望的理解远比这复杂得多。
And how we understand desire is just way more complex than that.
性欲不仅受你认为自己该有的感受影响，还受欲望本身的影响。
Your libido isn't just influenced by what you think you should be feeling and your desire for desire.
它受诸多超出你控制范围的因素影响，这些因素会随着年岁增长逐渐稳定并发生变化。
It's influenced by things that go way beyond your control and that actually end up stabilizing and changing the older you get.
二十多岁时情绪波动剧烈，无论你感觉多么成熟，随着年龄增长这些都会逐渐平缓。
There's so many emotional fluctuations going on in your twenties no matter how together you feel about it that kind of mellow out the older you get.
正因如此，你实际上获得了更多心理空间来关注感官体验和身体感受。
And that and because of that, like, you really are given more mental space to focus on sensuality and and to focus on how you feel in your body.
那么我们来谈谈影响性欲的因素。
So let's talk about what influences libido.
我们来探讨可能导致你对性爱失去兴趣、不再那么享受的原因。
Let's talk about what might be making you not enjoy sex as much, not really want it.
思考这个问题时，我觉得你首先会想到我要谈论什么？
When we think about this I feel like what's the first thing that you're gonna think I'm gonna speak about?
你大概猜对了。
You're probably right.
荷尔蒙。
Hormones.
很多人把问题归咎于荷尔蒙。
Hormones are the things that a lot of people blame.
激素确实起作用，但并非机械单一的方式。
And hormones do play a role but not in like a mechanical like one dimensional way.
它们实际上并不直接引发欲望。
They actually don't cause desire.
你的激素并不能决定你是否感到性感。
Like your hormones aren't what determines whether you feel sexy or not.
它们只是信使。
They're just the messengers.
欲望首先是心理层面的。
Desire is first and foremost mental.
然后激素会传递来自大脑以及生活、情感和环境的信号，这些信号影响着身体的感觉。
And then your hormones carry signals from your brain and then also from your life, your emotions and your environment that influence how this feels in the body.
当然，如果某个环节失衡，功能失常，基本上意味着传递这些信息的通道——那些让你感觉良好、性感、兴奋的身体通路——就像被交通堵塞一样无法正常工作，导致即使你有欲望，身体也可能没有反应，或者身体有反应但心理无感。
Now of course if if something's off balance there, something isn't working the way that it should it just basically means that all the the roads that carry these message messages and the roots throughout your body that allow you to feel good and sexy and turned on like they're clogged with traffic that is not working and so it means that there's just no communication even if you feel desire sometimes it doesn't happen in your body maybe your body feels desire it doesn't happen in your mind.
我们还必须谈谈避孕措施。
We have to also talk about birth control.
这一点以一种非常有趣的方式介入其中。
This enters the picture in a really interesting way.
许多激素避孕方法实际上是通过改变大脑与卵巢之间的通讯机制来起作用的。
Many hormonal contraceptives actually work by changing the communication between the brain and the ovaries.
本质上它们抑制了原本会在一个月内起伏波动的激素周期。
Essentially they quieten the hormonal cycle that would otherwise kind of ebb and flow throughout the month.
对某些人来说，这创造了一种情绪和生理上的稳定状态。
And for some people this creates kind of like an emotional and physiological steadiness.
他们可能会感觉更规律、更安定、更不容易情绪崩溃。
They might feel more regulated, more settled, less overwhelmed.
但对另一些人而言，同样的稳定感可能更像是一种压抑。
But for others that same steadiness can feel more like a dampening.
不仅是对情绪或激素的压抑，更像是压抑了体内那种滋养欲望的火花。
Not just of your mood or your hormones but of like the spark inside your body that kind of feeds desire.
有趣的是，激素避孕会降低体内循环的睾酮水平——我们知道这是参与性动机的一种激素。
The interesting thing is hormonal birth control can lower circulating testosterone in the body which is as we know a hormone involved in sexual motivation.
不仅仅是男性，对女性来说睾酮也极其重要，而这可能让人更难产生兴致。
Not just if you're a guy, like for women as well testosterone is really really important And this may make it harder to feel in the mood.
尤其是刚开始服用避孕药时，这是个很大的适应过程。
Especially if you've just gone on birth control, like it's a big adjustment.
你的身体正在努力适应这个新的生理和心理状态。
Your body's like trying to figure out this new body and this new mind.
实际上有些人报告称服用避孕药后欲望更强了，因为他们感觉更安全，不再担心怀孕，疼痛减轻，月经周期对情绪的干扰变小，神经系统得以放松。
Some people actually report feeling more desire once they're on birth control because they actually feel safer, like they no longer fear pregnancy, they experience less pain, their cycle becomes less emotionally destabilising, their nervous system has space to relax.
所以每个人的反应可能截然不同，就像荷尔蒙和性体验本身就因人而异。
So it can be really different for everybody the same way that hormones and sex can be different for everybody.
当然，这远不止是生物反应这么简单。
Now this of course goes much deeper than just biological reactions.
我常说，性更多是心理层面而非生理层面的事。
Something I like always say is like sex is is mental not just physical.
至少对我来说，心理因素远大于生理因素。
It's a lot more mental than physical at least for me.
如果存在某些情绪或压力因素持续抑制性欲，荷尔蒙也无法发挥作用。
And if there is something emotional or stressful that keeps putting the brakes on desire, hormones are not.
你的性欲就会变得低下。
Like your libido is going to be low.
解释这一现象最有帮助的理论框架之一来自性反应的双重控制理论。
One of the most helpful frameworks we have to explain this comes from the dual control theory of sexual response.
这个理论是由我之前提到的金赛研究所的研究人员再次提出的。
This was developed again by researchers at the Kinsey Institute that I mentioned earlier.
该模型解释的是，我们的性反应是兴奋与抑制过程相互平衡的产物。
And what this model explains is that our sexual responses are a product between this balance of excitatory and inhibitory processes.
这个兴奋系统就像踩下油门。
This excitatory system puts the foot on the accelerator.
它仿佛在说'我们冲吧'。
It's like let's freaking go.
它会注意到吸引力、触摸、幻想、情感亲密、温暖和性唤起。
It notices attraction, it notices touch, fantasy, emotional closeness, warmth, arousal.
另一个系统，即抑制系统，就像踩刹车一样。
The other system, the inhibitory system is like putting your foot on the brake.
这部分会对压力、焦虑、分心、工作不顺、朋友间的争吵、感觉生活一团糟等情况作出反应，它同样是关闭欲望的系统。
This is the part that responds to things like stress, anxiety, distraction, work sucking, having that friendship fight, feeling like your life is chaotic and it's again the system that turns desire off.
这些研究者解释说，大多数情况下，欲望低下、性欲减退不是因为加速器失灵了。
And what these researchers explain is that most of the time low desire, low libido it's not that the accelerator isn't working.
并不是说你没有被唤起或不想有性生活。
It's not that you're not turned on or don't want sex.
而是因为刹车踩得太用力了。
It's because the brake is being pressed too hard.
让我们在短暂休息后更深入地探讨这个理论。
Let's explore this theory a little bit more after this short break.
在《健康那些事儿》播客中，我们正在解决所有让你夜不能寐的健康问题。
On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
是的，我是医生。
Yes, I'm Doctor.
普里扬卡·沃利，一位双重认证的医生。
Priyanka Wally, a double board certified physician.
我是哈里·昆达博鲁，一名喜剧演员，曾在凌晨3点搜索过‘我是不是得了坏血病？’
And I'm Hari Kundabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I have scurvy at 3AM?
在《健康那些事》中，我们以不同的方式探讨健康话题。
On Health Stuff, we're talking about health in a different way.
这不仅关乎我们如何改善健康。
It's not only about what we can do to improve our health.
还关乎我们的健康状况如何反映我们的生活方式。
But also what our health says about us and the way we're living.
比如我们讨论糖尿病的那期节目。
Like our episode where we look at diabetes.
在美国，有50%的人处于糖尿病前期。
In The United States, I mean, fifty percent of Americans are pre diabetic.
怎么
How
二型糖尿病是可以预防的吗？
preventable is type two?
完全可以。
Extremely.
或者我们对芒果有多么神奇的深入分析。
Or our in-depth analysis of how incredible mangoes are.
哦，很难向世界其他地方解释，你觉得你们的芒果还不错，但芒果其实神奇得超乎想象，你们根本不懂。
Oh, it's hard to explain to rest of the world that you like, your mangoes are fine because mangoes are incredible, but, like, you don't even know.
你们不懂。
You don't know.
你们不懂。
You don't know.
这将是一段有趣的旅程，敬请收听。
It's going to be a fun ride, so tune in.
请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的平台收听《健康那些事》。
Listen to health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯。
I'm Robert Smith.
这位是雅各布·戈尔茨坦。
And this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业史》的新播客，讲述历史上最优秀的创意、人物和企业。
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
也包括商业史上最恶劣的人物、糟糕的创意和破坏性的公司。
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business.
天才创意若没有市场需求，就毫无价值。
Having a genius idea without a need for it is nothing.
就像根本不存在这个创意一样。
It's like not having it at all.
这是
It's a
非常简单而优雅的一课。
very simple, elegant lesson.
制造人们想要的东西。
Make something people want.
第一期节目：西南航空如何凭借廉价机票和免费威士忌打入航空业。
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.
最具德州特色的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
这个故事里有很多特立独行的人物。
There's a lot of mavericks in that story.
我们节目中会有很多特立独行者。
We're gonna have mavericks on the show.
我们还会讲述许多强盗大亨的故事。
We're gonna have plenty of robber barons.
强盗大亨多到数不清。
So many robber barons.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
他们并不都是坏人。
They're not all bad.
我们将探讨一些著名商业天才的经典辉煌时刻，同时也会提及那些常被忽视的阴暗面，比如托马斯·爱迪生与电椅的故事。
And we'll talk about some of the classic great moments of famous business geniuses along with some of the darker moments that often get overlooked, like Thomas Edison and the electric chair.
聆听商业历史
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
或任何你获取播客内容的地方收听
or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿，你好啊。
Hey there.
我是杰西·米尔斯医生。
Doctor Jesse Mills here.
我是UCLA健康中心男性诊所的主任，想向大家介绍我的新播客《收发室》。
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA Health, and I wanna tell you about my new podcast called The Mailroom.
我是乔丹，这档节目的制作人。
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
和很多男性一样，我已经很多年没去看医生了。
And like a lot of guys, I haven't been to the doctor in many years.
我会提出那些我们本该问的问题
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking
但实际却没问的。
but aren't.
因为男人通常只有在脸皮快掉了或者骨折时才会去看医生。
Because guys usually don't go to the doctor unless a piece of their face is hanging off or they've broken a bone.
具体取决于哪根骨头。
Depends which bone.
哇。
Wow.
确实如此。
That's true.
每周我们都会剖析男性健康的独特领域，从睾酮与健身到饮食与生育能力，以及卧室里发生的那些事。
Every week, we're breaking down the unique world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility and things that happen in the bedroom.
你是指睡觉吗？
You mean sleep?
对。
Yeah.
差不多吧，乔丹。
Something like that, Jordan.
我们将用通俗语言探讨科学，为你真正好奇的问题提供真实答案。
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
无论你是27岁、97岁还是介于两者之间，都会很有趣。
It's gonna be fun whether you're 27, 97, or somewhere in between.
男性健康远不止六块腹肌和营养补充剂。
Men's health is about more than six packs and supplements.
它关乎能量、自信和人际关系。
It's about energy, confidence, and connection.
我们不仅希望你活得更久。
We don't just want you to live longer.
我们希望你活得更好。
We want you to live better.
所以请在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或你收听喜爱节目的任何平台查看邮件室。
So check out the mailroom on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
在iHeartRadio《Los Culturistas》全新一集中，艾美奖、金球奖和托尼奖得主莎拉·保罗森分享了红毯上的小技巧。
On an all new episode of iHeartRadio's Los Culturistas, Emmy, Golden Clobe, and Tony award winner Sarah Paulson spills on red carpet hacks.
我们看到这些照片时就在想，
We saw these pictures, and we
这背后有什么故事？
were like, what is the story with this?
她坦诚分享了塑造角色的灵感来源。
She gets real about the inspiration behind her roles.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
人们的行为真是没有下限。
There is no end to how people will behave.
她还让主持人马特·罗杰斯、博和杨注意了。
And she puts hosts Matt Rogers and Bo and Yang on notice.
我可不这么认为，亲爱的。
I don't think so, honey.
这让我感到非常、非常受刺激。
I feel very, very triggered by this.
打开你的免费iHeartRadio应用，搜索《Los Culturista》，立即收听完整播客。
Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Los Culturista, and listen to the full podcast now.
大家好呀？
What up, y'all?
我是你们的老朋友，舞台上的凯夫。
It's your boy, Kev on stage.
我想向你们介绍我的新播客《并非最佳时刻》，在这个节目中，我会与艺术家、运动员、演艺人员、创作者、朋友以及我钦佩的那些取得巨大成功的人士，聊聊他们遭遇的重大失败。
I wanna tell you about my new podcast called not my best moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures.
他们搞砸了什么？
What did they mess up on?
他们的心率如何？
What is their heart rate?
他们从中领悟到了什么？
And what did they learn from it?
我遭到了极其恶劣的评价。
I got judged horribly.
评委们直接说：你就是个垃圾。
The judges were like, you're trash.
真不知道你是怎么入选节目的。
I don't know how you got on the show.
嘘——
Boo.
有人带了西红柿。
Somebody had tomatoes.
没有。
No.
我开玩笑的。
I'm kidding.
但如果他们有西红柿，肯定会扔西红柿的。
But they if they had tomatoes, they would have thrown the tomatoes.
说实话吧。
Let's be honest.
我们都有过那些宁愿忘记的时刻。
We've all had those moments we'd rather forget.
我们撞到了头。
We bumped our head.
我们犯了个错误。
We made a mistake.
交易泡汤了。
The deal fell through.
我们很尴尬。
We're embarrassed.
我们失败了。
We failed.
但这期播客正是要聊这些经历以及我们如何挺过来的。
But this podcast is about that and how we made it through.
所以他们让我坐下时，先是寒暄了几句，然后突然就问：你有什么想法？
So when they sat me down, they were kinda like we got into the small talk, and they were just like, so what do you got?
什么想法？
What what ideas?
我当时就懵了：啊这...
And I was like, oh, no.
啥？
What?
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客、YouTube或任何你收听播客的平台，观看我与Kev在台上的非高光时刻。
Check out not my best moment with me, Kev on stage, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
你可以真心实意地深爱某人，被他们强烈吸引，甚至为之痴迷，却依然感受不到性冲动。
So you can care about someone really, really deeply, be, like, super attracted to them, like, really into them, and still not feel sexual desire.
这种欲望的火焰并非因你缺乏欲望而被扼灭。
And the flame of that desire is being smothered not by your lack of desire.
问题不在这里。
That's not the thing.
它正被你生活中更广泛的因素所压制。
It's being smothered by wider factors in your life.
我曾听人这样形容我们的性欲：它本质上反映了我们在特定时刻感受到的安全感程度。
Our libido, how I heard someone put it, is that it's basically a reflection of how safe we feel in a particular moment.
你能否产生性兴奋、建立亲密关系、敞开心扉，取决于你的神经系统是否感到足够平静来允许这些发生。
Your ability to feel turned on, to connect, to open up, it depends on whether your nervous system feels calm enough to let you.
我们的神经系统只有一个职责，那就是让我们活下去。
Our nervous systems have one role which is to keep us alive.
它持续扫描你的外部环境与内心世界，寻找威胁或安全的信号。
It's constantly scanning your environment and your internal world as well for signs of threat or signs of safety.
当检测到威胁时——无论是生理还是情感上的——它会将能量从愉悦与好奇转向保护与生存。
And when it detects threat whether that's physical or emotional it redirects energy away from pleasure and curiosity and towards protection and survival.
当你的神经系统处于这种警觉状态时，自然会抑制性欲。
When your nervous system is living in this state of vigilance, Of course it's going to suppress your sexual desire.
因为这并非生存所必需。
That that's not necessarily necessary for your survival.
它不需要这个功能。
Like it doesn't need that.
这就是为什么当皮质醇水平高、压力大时，无论年龄、感情状况如何，性唤起能力都会急剧下降。
And that is why when cortisol is high, when stress is high, regardless of your age, relationship status, anything, your ability to feel arousal plummets.
这实际上表明：身体的应激反应与欲望能力是同一光谱的两端。
What this really shows is that the body's stress response and the body's capacity for desire are two ends of the same spectrum.
当一端被激活时，另一端不可能完全开启。
One cannot be fully on whilst the other is activated.
这两者都消耗过多能量。
They both take up too much energy.
我认为还有一点非常关键，那就是不仅仅当前的压力会影响。
I think it's also really crucial to mention that it's not just current stress.
创伤在这里的作用就像一整集、多集剧情，甚至可以说是一部完整的系列剧。
The role of trauma here is like a whole episode, multiple episodes, a whole series in itself.
这对性欲的影响极其重大。
The impact that has on sexual desire is so significant.
如果你读过《身体从未忘记》或者听过我们几个月前做的关于创伤的那期节目，你就会知道创伤几乎重塑了身体识别安全的方式。
If you've read The Body Keeps the Score or if you've listened to the episode on trauma that we did on that a few months back, you'll know that trauma pretty much rewires how safety is recognized by your body.
所以当亲密的可能性出现时——比如有人靠近你、想和你亲热、亲吻你的脖子、用某种眼神看着你。
So when the possibility of intimacy appears when someone moves closer, like wants to make out with you, kisses you on the neck, looks at you in a certain way.
你的身体可能会紧张起来，仿佛在说：上次发生这种情况时感觉难以承受且充满危险。
Your body might tense up in a way that says, the last time this happened it felt overwhelming and it felt dangerous.
所以我们必须要么离开，要么终止这种情况。
So we have to either leave or shut this down.
这种情况尤其容易发生在当亲密关系曾与困惑、压力、羞耻、痛苦或情绪不稳定相关联时。
And this happens especially if closeness intimacy was once linked with confusion, pressure, shame, pain, emotional unpredictability.
即使没有明确的伤害，身体也已学会完全敞开心扉面对亲密关系会带来风险。
Even if there was no explicit harm, the body has learnt that being fully open to intimacy comes with risk.
因此我们之前提到的那道隔阂，正在被重重地按下。
And so that break, that break we were talking about is being firmly pressed.
这不是对伴侣的拒绝，而是出于生存本能。
Not as rejection of your partner but from a place of survival.
你知道这真是种难以承受的感受，很难接受这就是你今后看待性的方式——但我保证事实并非如此。
You know that's just such a hard thing to endure and it's so difficult to feel like that's just how you're gonna view sex from now on and I promise that it's not.
当你发现自己与性欲斗争时，其实你的渴望依然存在。
You know when you find yourself struggling with libido your desire is still there.
只是你的神经系统尚未获得放松的许可。
It's just that your nervous system hasn't been given permission to relax.
压力与创伤是我们所说的抑制系统的一方面，自我批判同样如此。
Stress and trauma, one side of the inhibitory system we're speaking about, so is self criticism.
这甚至进一步加剧了这两件事的影响。
And it kind of compounds the effects of these two things even more.
就像当你觉得自己应该被唤起、应该兴奋，却因为没达到这种状态而认为自己有问题时，情况反而会变得更困难，对吧？
Like when you feel like you should be aroused, should be turned on and something's wrong with you because you're not, it makes it all the more harder, right?
抱歉开了个双关玩笑，但确实会让情况更棘手。
Sorry for the pun, I know, but it does make it harder.
有坚实的神经科学证据能帮助我们理解其中的原因。
There's solid neuroscientific evidence to help us understand why this is.
本质上，羞耻感激活的许多脑区与应对生理疼痛的脑区重合，包括负责监测排斥、社交威胁和脆弱性的前扣带回皮层。
Basically, shame activates a lot of the same brain regions that respond to physical pain including the anterior cingulate cortex which is involved with detecting exclusion, social threat, vulnerability.
这往往解释了为何我们越强迫性欲回归，就越难触及它——因为你确实会因最初的失败感受到某种程度的情感痛苦。
This is often why the harder we try to force libido to return the more difficult it is to access it because you genuinely feel a level of emotional pain by the fact that you weren't able to do it in the first place.
这种羞耻感在文化、社交和人际关系层面对我们造成沉重影响。
That shame impacts us all so heavily culturally, socially, relationally.
它再次承袭自这个避谈性事的体系——当我们终于开始讨论时，它又让我们对此感到羞耻，这种沉默让性变得如此讳莫如深，以至于我们根本不知道如何做得更好。
It's been inherited again from this system that didn't talk about sex, that then when we did start talking about sex made us feel bad about it, and that makes sex so silent that we just don't know how to be better at it.
不知道该如何谈论它。
Don't know how to talk about it.
不知道如何以不取悦他人的方式去进行。
Don't know how to do it in any way that isn't a performance for somebody else.
不知道如何讨论关于性生活的起伏变化，以及什么是健康的性生活。
Don't know how to have conversations about ebbs and flows about what a healthy sex life is.
你知道最有趣的是什么吗？是的，我们可以谈论荷尔蒙。
And you know what's so interesting is that, like, yes, we can talk about hormones.
是的，我们可以讨论避孕措施，可以讨论压力，可以讨论所有这些事情。
Yes, we can talk about birth control, and we can talk about stress, and we can talk about all of these things.
但性其实在坦诚中才能蓬勃发展，它需要当下的投入、脆弱感以及完全的信任。
But, like, sex really thrives with honesty, and it thrives with with presence and vulnerability and, like, complete trust.
而我们多年来谈论它的方式意味着这些要素很少存在。
And the way that we've talked about it for so many years means that, like, those things are rarely present.
所以你所感受到的任何羞耻感，都不该由你承担。
So, like, any shame you feel is not your shame.
展开剩余字幕（还有 200 条）
这是社会的耻辱，因为它从未真正允许你谈论这个话题。
It's society's shame for never really allowing you to talk about it.
因为当你谈论时会羞辱你，不谈论时也会羞辱你，导致你在性方面感到压抑或受压制。
For, like, shaming when shaming you when you do and shaming you when you don't and you, you know, feel like sexually suppressed or repressed because of it.
最后我们需要讨论的一个可能解释是，为什么你现在性欲低下、对性不感兴趣、不想发生性行为——这当然与心理健康有关。
One final thing we need to talk about that may be an explanation for why, you know, you're struggling with libido right now, why you don't really enjoy sex, don't want to have sex is of course mental health.
我觉得我应该早点谈到这个，但迟做总比不做好。
I feel like I should have talked about this earlier but better late than never.
说到临在感，说到神经系统调节，如果你正在与焦虑或抑郁抗争，这些心理状态是如此庞大、沉重且喧嚣。
Speaking of presence, speaking of of nervous system regulation like as well if you're struggling with anxiety or with depression like those mental states are so big and heavy and loud.
在这种情况下，你很难进入大脑中那个能保持静止、亲密并与他人联结的区域。
It's so hard to be in the part of your brain where you can just be like still and intimate and with somebody else.
焦虑会让你变得过度警觉。
Anxiety like makes you so hyper aware.
抑郁则会钝化所有感官。
Depression just like dulls all sensation.
它削弱了所有可能的期待感。
It dims all potential anticipation.
这也和多巴胺有关，对吧？
And this is also related to dopamine right?
特别是如果你患有抑郁症，大脑中不仅负责快乐，还负责动机和性唤起等功能的神经递质——多巴胺会减少。
Like especially if you have depression there is a reduction of dopamine the neurotransmitter responsible not just for happiness but motivation and arousal like in your brain.
问题是当我们与心理健康作斗争时，就像双重打击，一切都感觉更艰难、更麻木、更困难。
The thing is when we're struggling with mental health it's like this double barrel of like everything feels harder and more numb and more difficult.
性生活也因此被扼杀，而我却无法谈论这件事。
Sex is also being killed by this and I can't talk about it.
然后你可能尝试自救，开始服药，而药物的副作用可能非常残酷。
And then you may try and like help yourself and go on medication and the side effects of that can be brutal.
再次强调，我们要非常坦诚。
Again, let's be really candid.
当我开始服用Lexapro时，我...我完全没有任何感觉。
When I went on Lexapro, I I had I had nothing.
就像，我完全没有。
Like, I didn't no.
我连续几个月毫无欲望。
I had no desire for months.
我必须说这绝对值得，百分之百。
I will say it was worth it for sure, 100%.
对我来说完全值得，但一切都感觉更麻木了，这让身体反应与情感及认知反应之间的联结变得非常困难。
It was totally worth it for me but everything just felt more muted and it just made it really hard to connect like what was happening physically with an emotional and and like cognitive reaction.
而且对很多人来说——我认为许多女性都是如此——性爱是心理层面的而非生理层面的，是认知性的而非身体性的。
And again for somebody and I think this is the case with a lot of women sex is mental not physical, sex is cognitive not physical.
缺乏那种临在感和强烈情绪体验的要素，使得这变得异常困难。
Not having that like element of presence and like heightened emotional sensation like made it really difficult.
这就像需要适应一个新事物，不过现在已经好多了。
It was just like a new thing to adapt to and it's gotten so much better now.
嗯，虽然现在有些反复，但像来士普对我的影响已经没那么大了。
Well, not that with this dip but like the Lexapro doesn't really impact me as much.
所以如果你正在经历这个，那绝对是值得的。
So like it's totally worth it if you are.
值得与某人展开对话，坦诚地说：'我们需要更刻意地处理这件事，或者需要更开放地讨论这个问题，或者稍微减少频率，因为我想在心理上照顾好自己，这意味着需要做出一些取舍。'
It's just worth having a conversation with somebody and being like hey like we're gonna need to be more deliberate here or we're gonna need to have more open conversations about this or just do this a little bit less because I want to take care of myself mentally and that means a couple of sacrifices here and there.
这可能就是其中之一。
This might be one of them.
问题是，所有这些都错综复杂地交织在一起。
The thing is, like, all of this is just so intricately layered.
你可能无法准确指出当下是什么在扼杀你的性欲。
You might not be able to pinpoint exactly one thing that is killing your libido right now.
但我们可以试着探讨如何在不强迫自己、不触及过往创伤、不把亲密关系变成任务的前提下，接纳你现在的状态。
But we can kind of talk about how to, I don't know, meet yourself where you're at without forcing it or without pushing past trauma or without, you know, turning intimacy with somebody into a project.
显然我不是性治疗师，也不想过多谈论个人经历，因为这些经历不只关乎我一个人，还涉及他人。
Now obviously I'm not a sex therapist and I don't want to go too much into my own experiences because they're not just mine, like they involve other people.
但我想为你梳理一些人们推荐的方法、我读过的好建议，以及涉及深层心理学的观点，这些或许能成为你的起点。
But I do want to give you a bit of a run through of things that people recommend, that I've read, that are amazing, things that touch on deeper psychology that maybe might be a good start point for you.
我觉得与其试图猛踩油门，对吧？
I think instead of trying to push down on that accelerator, right?
第一步往往是自然地放慢速度，这样你的神经系统就不会觉得需要替你踩刹车了。
The first step is often slowing down naturally so that your nervous system doesn't feel like it needs to put the brakes on for you.
我们大多数人生活的节奏快得让神经系统根本适应不了。
Most of us move through the world at a pace that our nervous system like was not built for.
我们现在的环境充满了信息和刺激过载。
Like our current environments are like information and stimulation overload.
持续的输入，持续的思考，
Constant input, constant thinking, constant brain work.
这让人不堪重负。
It's overwhelming.
体验愉悦却要求你反其道而行之。
Accessing pleasure asks you to do the opposite of all that.
说白了就是给自己更多时间活在当下。
Literally just give yourself more time to live out your day and to be present.
这种感觉可能非常陌生，但如果你长期处于战斗或逃跑的生存模式中，处于压力和警觉状态，因为生活对你来说太忙碌了。
This can feel really weird and unfamiliar but if you've spent a long time in fight or flight, in survival mode, just like in a state of stress and arousal because life is so busy for you.
给自己时间放慢节奏，感受身体的存在，重新与事物的自然流动建立连接。
Just giving yourself time to just move slower, inhabit your body, reconnect with just like the natural flow of things.
这完全与性无关，但却非常非常亲密。
Like it's not sexual at all but it's really really intimate.
我还看到另一个建议是去连接那些与性无关的小确幸。
This other thing I saw recommended was just like connect with small pleasures that again have nothing to do with sex.
比如热水澡的温暖，一块非常美味的黑巧克力。
The warmth of a hot shower, A really delicious piece of dark chocolate.
手指间发丝的触感，或是洗发水的香气。
The feeling of your hair between your fingers or the smell of your shampoo.
空调开着时，一条蓬松毯子压在你身上的重量感。
The weight of a really snuggly blanket on you while the air con is on.
阳光温暖皮肤的触感，就像你躺在草地上时的感觉。
The way your sunlight warms your skin like when you're on the grass.
比如宠物呼吸时的柔软触感，所有这些小事，让世界短暂地宠爱你一下。
The softness of like your pet's breath like just all these things like let the world romance you for a little bit.
如果现在亲密感让你不堪重负，尤其是与他人相处时，你可以从这些感官体验开始，它们对你毫无所求。
If intimacy feels overwhelming right now especially with somebody else like, you can begin here with sensation that literally asks nothing of you.
无需任何回报。
Nothing in return.
这意味着你不会觉得自己在不断拒绝亲密。
Like, that's gonna mean that you don't feel like you're constantly rejecting intimacy.
你不会觉得只有通过性行为才能体验亲密。
That the only way you can experience intimacy is, like, if you can have sex.
不是非此即彼的选择。
And, like, it's either that or nothing.
这种亲密关系不会让你因是否享受而感到辜负任何人。
Like, this is a type of intimacy that, like, you're not going to let anybody down whether you enjoy it or not.
它就在那里供你享受，对吧？
It's just there for you to enjoy right?
当你开始留意这些感觉而非匆忙略过时，我认为你给了自己一个机会去更贴近自我，更敏锐地感知周遭，更活在当下。
Like and when you begin to notice these sensations rather than rushing past them I think you just give yourself a chance to feel a little bit more in touch with yourself, in touch with like your senses and more present.
你知道放慢节奏的极致是什么吗？
You know what's the height of slowing down?
放慢节奏的极致当然是获得更多睡眠。
The height of slowing down is of course getting more sleep.
简单来说就是多休息，我看到一项统计数据显示，每晚多睡一小时平均能提升14%的性欲——这是来自某项研究的结果。
Literally just resting more, I saw a stat that said one extra hour of sleep per night can increase libido by 14% on average from this study.
虽然不确定这个结论是否被重复验证过，但我觉得值得一试。
And I don't know if that result has been replicated, but like, I think it's worth a try.
我就是喜欢多睡觉、少喝酒——日常的许多压力、挫败感和易怒情绪，这些在你与快乐之间筑起屏障的因素，往往源于饮酒和睡眠不足。
I just like getting more sleep, drinking less alcohol, like, so much daily stress frustration and irritability that puts like a barrier up between you and pleasure comes from drinking and comes from not getting enough sleep.
最近我发现只要优先做好这两件事就够了。
I've just found at the moment I prioritize those two things.
当然是指多睡觉，不是少喝酒（笑）。
Obviously like sleeping more not drinking less.
我感觉好多了，更快乐、更轻松，也更愿意真正投入其中。
I just feel so much better and I feel happier and lighter and I'm going to be more willing to like really get into it.
我也觉得，去验个血可能是明智之举。
I also think you know it's probably wise just to go and get your bloods done.
去做个全套血液检查，去看医生。
Go get a panel of bloods, go to your doctor.
可能有些身体问题可以很快解决，比如缺铁、可能需要调整避孕药、减少抗抑郁药剂量、补充褪黑素改善睡眠，这些都能帮你恢复精力。
There may be something physical that's happening that could be addressed pretty rapidly like low iron, maybe you need a change in your birth control, a less intense dosage of antidepressants, some melatonin to help you sleep better that will help you have more energy.
这显然不是医疗建议，但确实有很多解释能让你感觉好很多，毕竟掌握更多信息总是好的。
Obviously this is not medical advice but like there are so many explanations there and just having more information makes you feel so much better anyways.
比如，我最近被诊断出多囊卵巢综合征，医生告诉我这会大幅降低性欲——她非常专业，我们讨论时发现医学界其实也不清楚具体原因。
Like, I was diagnosed with PCOS recently and my doctor told me how much it reduces libido and we were she's amazing and we were just talking about it and how they don't really know why.
当然不清楚啦，毕竟是女性健康问题。但听到她这么坦率地告诉我，我就觉得‘呼——’，瞬间觉得自己没那么蠢了。
Of course they don't, it's female health but just knowing that like the way she just said that to me I was like, Ugh, I feel so much less silly.
我感觉不再那么自责了，好像‘性趣缺缺’全是我的错似的。
I feel so much less like this is my fault that I just like am not that interested.
性健康就是情感健康，就是身体健康，就是心理健康，就是整体健康。
Sexual health is emotional health is physical health is mental health is health.
你有权去找医生并说：‘嘿，我希望有更多的性生活，这对我生活很重要，你能帮我吗？’
Like you're allowed to go to your doctor and be like, Hey, like I I would like to be having more sex and that's an important part of my life for me so like can you help me with that?
他们可以帮助调查表面之下发生了什么。
And they can help investigate what's going on going on below the surface.
面对伴侣时，你们需要达成共识：亲密关系有多种形式，你们只需放慢节奏。
When it comes to your partner, you need to create a shared understanding that intimacy takes many shapes and that you just need to slow down.
这不是要疏远，你并非想拒绝对方。
It's not about withdrawing, you don't want to reject them.
你希望与他们同在，希望以不同方式相处，希望能坦诚交流并直接说：‘除非特别美好，否则我不想发生关系’。
You want to be present with them, you want to do this differently and you want to be able to talk with them openly and just say like Hey I don't want to have sex unless it's amazing.
‘我想和你拥有美妙的性爱’。
Like I want to have amazing sex with you.
‘我不想要廉价、敷衍、随意的性关系’。
I don't want to have cheap, not good, random sex.
我想全身心投入其中，因此我需要更了解自己的身体反应和需求，而且我很享受与你亲近的感觉。
I want to be invested in this and because of that I just want to figure out a little bit more about what my body responds to and what my body needs and I love being close to you.
我只是觉得我们需要探索不同的方式来增进这种亲密感。
I just think like we need to explore different ways for that closeness.
你要明确表示你并非在拒绝对方，我知道这在恋爱关系中是个敏感点——当一方比另一方更渴望性时。
You're making it clear that you're not just you're not rejecting them and I know that's such a tension point in relationship when one person wants to have more sex than the other person.
通常在异性恋关系里，男性往往将性视为纯粹的生理需求，这可能导致你总得不断地说‘不’。
Normally it's like if you're in a heterosexual relationship the guy like for them sex is very physical and it can feel like every time you have to be like no.
这实际上就像是在侮辱他们，暗示着你们关系中的某些问题。
And that you're really just like insulting them that it's saying something about your relationship.
我认为用‘我想和你拥有真正美好的性爱’这样的表达方式会让情况好很多。
I think having that language of like I act I want to have really good sex with you makes it so much better.
显然，你不需要为此道歉。
And obviously, like, you don't need to apologize.
你也不必为此感到内疚。
You don't need to, like, feel guilty for it.
你完全不需要以任何方式维护他们的自尊心。
You don't need to protect their ego in any way.
但如果你真心对待这个人，就必须就此事进行坦诚的对话，即使有时会有点尴尬。
But, like, if you're serious about this person, like you gotta have open conversations about this that sometimes are like a little bit uncomfortable.
你只是在明确表达：我想和你一起实现这个。
You're just making it clear like, I want this with you.
让我们把它变得美妙无比。
Let's make it amazing.
我还有个朋友——我知道她不介意我分享——她告诉我她和女友尝试了三个月完全禁欲，然后像青少年时期那样重新探索，就像初次体验一切。
I also had this friend, and I know she won't mind me sharing this but she was telling me about this thing that her and her girlfriend did which was they just took sex off the table entirely for three months and they started to approach it like they were teenagers again or like they were experiencing everything for the first time together.
就像重新经历一垒、二垒、三垒那样，每周专注一个阶段。
Like, going back through, like, base one, base two, like, third base, and just, like, focusing on one of those bases, like, a week at a time.
记得有次和她吃饭时我问'进展如何'，
And I remember, like, I got dinner with her and she was like I was like, oh, how's it going?
她当时说'天哪'
She's like, oh my god.
太棒了。
It's amazing.
比如，这是接吻周。
Like, it's kissing week.
我们整天都在亲热。
And like, all we do is make out.
而且我们都知道，我们不会发生关系。
And like, we know, like, we're not gonna have sex.
我们只是亲吻。
Like, we just make out.
这非常有趣。
And it's so much fun.
那种期待感一直都在，而且感觉毫无压力。
It's like we the anticipation is there and it feels like there's no pressure.
我觉得人们应该借鉴他们的这种做法。
And like, I kind of think people should steal that exercise from them.
就像他们看起来玩得很开心，我觉得这确实能重新点燃长期关系中的那种兴奋和热情，特别是当你和某人在一起一段时间后。
Like they seem like they're having a great time and I think it's just really rekindling sometimes the excitement and like the enthusiasm in a long term relationship like when you've been with somebody for for a while.
显然，与伴侣讨论这个话题是必要的。
Speaking to your partner about this is obviously a necessity.
其实，和他们交谈本身就是一种亲密行为。
Like, speaking to them is a version of intimacy.
你会发现坦诚相待反而会让你更想发生关系，因为你们会感觉更加心意相通。
You will actually find that being open with them will probably make you wanna have more sex just because you feel more connected.
在恋爱关系之外，和朋友坦诚讨论这个话题也很重要。
Speaking vulnerably about this with your friends outside the context of your relationship is also important.
我们需要更多地和朋友讨论性欲低下或性欲波动的问题。
Like, we need to be talking about low libidos or fluctuating libidos more with our friends.
我们总是很乐意分享那些狂野的性爱故事和一夜情经历。
Like, we are so down to do, like, the rowdy sex stories and the one night stands.
我们很愿意谈论糟糕的性经历，或者对性的整体感受——那些技巧、窍门、故事等等。但这也是对话的一部分，你知道吗？除了伴侣，你的朋友也了解你很多。
We're so down to talk about bad sex or the overall feeling we have towards sex, the ways you know, the tips, the tricks, the stories, like but this is also part of that conversation, you know and your friends as much as you should talk about it with your partner your friends know a lot about you.
他们了解你正在经历什么，他们可能对你的过去知道得更多一些，他们清楚你的健康状况、工作状况以及与前任的关系。
They know what you're going through, they know probably a bit more about your past, they know what's happening with your health, with your job, with your ex.
他们自己可能也有一些应对方法，即便没有，或许也能给你提供帮助。
They probably have things that they do for themselves as well, if nothing else that might be able to help you.
我觉得当我们敞开心扉交谈时，一切都会感觉轻松许多。
And I think like when we open up the conversation, like it just everything feels so much lighter.
我最近进行过最棒的一次谈话就是和朋友们聊这个话题，你猜怎么着？
One of the best conversations I've had recently was with my friends about this very thing and guess what?
这让我意识到这种情况有多普遍。
It made me realize how common this is.
这些人中有很多都处于长期关系中。
So many of these like all these people were in long term relationships.
他们全都说了同样的话：是啊，这是我们经常经历的事情。
All of them said the same thing like, yeah, this is something that we go through all the time.
没错，我们中总有一方比另一方更渴望性爱。
Like, yeah, one of us wants sex more than the other.
我非常爱他们，但事实就是如此。
I love them very much but like it just is what it is.
我觉得当你把这事说出来时，就像一种解脱，天哪。
And I think when you just talk about it, it's like this relief of like, my god.
不。
No.
是啊。
Yeah.
你说得对。
You're right.
并不是每个人都像我想象中那样频繁地享受美好的性生活。
Not everybody is having as much sex and as great a sex as I thought they were.
你知道，每段关系都不同，包括我的也是。
You know, every relationship is different, mine included.
我想为我们两人创造一种让我们都真正享受的性生活和性关系。
I want to create the kind of sex and the relationship to sex with both of us that is going to make it really great for us.
如果你一直在听这些内容，并在其中看到了自己的影子，我只希望这些信息能给你一些答案，至少能让你少一点羞耻感。
So if you've been listening to this and you've been recognizing parts of yourself in it, I just hope that like this has given you some information or some answers and if nothing else a little bit less shame.
同时也让你对性欲有更多了解，明白是什么在影响它，以及你并没有被诅咒，这并非世界末日。
Just a bit more knowledge about libido as well and like what might be impacting it and the fact that like you're not cursed, this isn't the end.
尤其是如果你才二十多岁，最好的时光还在后头呢。
Especially if you are in your twenties, like the best is yet to come.
至少我是这么认为的。
That's what it sounds like to me.
我读过的所有研究和文章都在说，三十岁和四十岁才是黄金时期。
Like all of these studies that I was reading, all these articles were like yes, thirty and forty is like where it's at.
所以从现在开始只会越来越好。
So like, it's only up from here.
我觉得这更像是让你深入思考的挑战：我真正想要什么？
This is just like, I think a challenge for you to really like go deeper with like, what do I want?
我真正享受什么？
What do I enjoy?
什么能让我兴奋起来？
What turns me on?
我需要将怎样的心理故事与性联系起来？如何更好地将其融入我正在经历的性体验中？
What's the mental story I need to associate with sex and how can I like be better at making that part of the sex I'm having?
这样它就不只是为他人而做的行为，也不仅出于义务感或为了营造亲密假象——而是真正享受并渴望的性爱。
So that it's not just like this act for somebody else or it's not just this thing I do out of obligation or sense of obligation or because I want to give the impression of intimacy that I want to have the sex that I actually enjoy and that I really want to have.
我该如何做到这一点？
How can I do that?
我需要关注什么？
What do I need to pay attention to?
我想我们今天就聊到这里。
So I think that is all we have time for.
再次希望你喜欢这期节目。
Again I hope you enjoyed the episode.
我要感谢我们的研究助理莉比·科伯特所做的贡献。
I want to thank our research assistant Libby Kobbert for her contributions.
请确保在Instagram上关注我们，并订阅或关注你当前收听播客的平台。
Make sure that you are following us on Instagram and that you are subscribed or following along wherever you are listening to the podcast right now.
这对节目的成长和触达新听众非常有帮助。
It really helps the show to grow and to reach new people.
我们还有一期更早的嘉宾节目《性爱是心理层面的，不仅仅是生理的》，由一位在这方面比我懂得多得多的人主讲，她在音频情色领域做了很多很酷的事情。
We also have an older guest episode called sex is mental, not just physical with somebody who knows a lot more about this than me and who does really cool things in, like, the audio erotica space.
如果你想继续听下去，并且对这个话题很感兴趣，可以去看看那期节目。
So if you wanna continue listening and and you're, like, on a roll with this, topic, you can go and check that out.
我也会在描述里留一个小链接。
I'll leave a little link in the description as well.
但再次希望这期节目对你有所启发，希望你能与伴侣、朋友展开关于性爱、关于唤起欲望、关于亲密关系的精彩讨论。
But, again, I hope it was informative, and I hope you have great discussions with your partner, with your friends about about sex and about getting turned on, and about intimacy.
下次见，注意安全，保持善良，温柔对待自己。
Until next time, stay safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself.
我们很快、很快就会再聊。
We will talk very, very soon.
在《健康那些事》播客中，我们解答所有让你夜不能寐的健康疑问。
On the podcast Health Stuff, we are tackling all the health questions that keep you up at night.
我是医生
I'm Doctor.
普里扬克·格瓦利亚，拥有双委员会认证的医师资格。
Priyank Gwalia, a double board certified physician.
我是哈里·昆达博鲁，一名喜剧演员，也是曾在凌晨3点搜索‘我是不是得了坏血病？’的人。
And I'm Hari Kundabolu, a comedian and someone who once Googled, Do I have scurvy at 3AM?
在我们的节目中，我们以独特视角探讨健康话题，比如讨论糖尿病的那期节目。
And on our show, we're talking about health in a different way, like our episode where we look at diabetes.
在美国，有50%的人群处于糖尿病前期状态。
In The United States, I mean, fifty percent of Americans are prediabetic.
二型糖尿病有多大的可预防性？
How preventable is type two?
非常高。
Extremely.
在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客或任何你获取播客的地方收听《健康那些事》。
Listen to health stuff on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是罗伯特·史密斯，这位是雅各布·戈尔茨坦。
I'm Robert Smith, and this is Jacob Goldstein.
我们曾主持过一档名为《金钱星球》的节目。
And we used to host a show called Planet Money.
现在我们回归制作这档名为《商业历史》的新播客，讲述历史上最杰出的创意、人物和企业。
And now we're back making this new podcast called Business History about the best ideas and people and businesses in history.
也包括商业史上最恶劣的人物、最糟糕的创意和最具破坏性的公司。
And some of the worst people, horrible ideas, and destructive companies in the history of business.
首期节目：西南航空如何凭借廉价机票和免费威士忌在航空业杀出一条血路。
First episode, how Southwest Airlines used cheap seats and free whiskey to fight its way into the airline business.
这简直是最具德州特色的故事。
The most Texas story ever.
请收听《商业历史》
Listen to business history
在iHeartRadio应用或Apple Podcasts上
on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,
或任何你获取播客的地方
or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿，你好
Hey there.
我是杰西·米尔斯医生
Doctor Jesse Mills here.
我是UCLA男性健康诊所的主任，想向大家介绍我的新播客《The Mail Room》
I'm the director of the men's clinic at UCLA, and I wanna tell you about my new podcast called The Mail Room.
我是乔丹，这档节目的制作人
And I'm Jordan, the show's producer.
和大多数男性一样，我已经太久没去看医生了
And like most guys, I haven't been to the doctor in way too long.
我将提出那些我们本该问却一直没问的问题
I'll be asking the questions we probably should be asking but aren't.
每周，我们将深入探讨男性健康领域，从睾酮与健身到饮食与生育能力。
Every week, we're breaking down the world of men's health from testosterone and fitness to diets and fertility.
我们将用通俗易懂的语言讲解科学，为你解答那些真正困扰你的问题。
We'll talk science without the jargon and get you real answers to the stuff you actually wonder about.
欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或你喜爱的节目收听平台上订阅《The Mail Room》。
So check out the mail room on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your favorite shows.
在iHeartRadio《Los Culturistas》全新一集中，艾美奖、金球奖和托尼奖得主莎拉·保罗森揭秘红毯造型秘诀。
On an all new episode of iHeartRadio's Los Culturistas, Emmy, Golden Clope, and Tony award winner Sarah Paulson spills on red carpet hacks.
我们看到这些照片时，
We saw these pictures, and we
不禁想问：这背后有什么故事？
were like, what is the story with this?
她坦诚分享了塑造角色的灵感来源。
She gets real about the inspiration behind her roles.
哦，不。
Oh, no.
人类的行为真是没有下限。
There is no end to how people will behave.
她还让主持人马特·罗杰斯以及波和耶格小心点。
And she puts host Matt Rogers and Bo and Yegg on notice.
我可不这么认为，亲爱的。
I don't think so, honey.
这件事让我感到非常、非常不安。
I feel very, very triggered by this.
打开你的免费iHeartRadio应用。
Open your free iHeartRadio app.
搜索《Los Culturista》，立即收听完整播客。
Search Los Culturista, and listen to the full podcast now.
大家好呀？
What up, y'all?
我是你们的老朋友凯夫，现在在台上。
It's your boy, Kev on stage.
我想向大家介绍我的新播客《非高光时刻》，在这个节目中我将与艺术家、运动员、演艺人员、创作者、朋友们——那些我钦佩的取得巨大成功的人——畅谈他们遭遇过的重大失败。
I wanna tell you about my new podcast called not my best moment, where I talk to artists, athletes, entertainers, creators, friends, people I admire who had massive success about their massive failures.
他们搞砸了什么？
What did they mess up on?
他们经历过怎样的心碎？又从中汲取了什么教训？
What is their heartbreak, and what did they learn from it?
我受到了极其严苛的评判。
I got judged horribly.
评委们直接说：你就是个垃圾。
The judges were like, you're trash.
真不知道你是怎么混进这个节目的。
I don't know how you got on the show.
欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客、YouTube或任何你收听播客的平台，与我Kev On Stage一起收听《非高光时刻》。
Check out not my best moment with me kept on stage on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是iHeart出品的播客节目。
This is an iHeart podcast.
关于 Bayt 播客
Bayt 提供中文+原文双语音频和字幕，帮助你打破语言障碍，轻松听懂全球优质播客。