373. 为什么休息让我们感到如此内疚

这是iHeart播客。

This is an iHeart podcast.

保证真人录制。

Guaranteed Human.

新的一年并不会要求我们变成另一个人。

A new year doesn't ask us to become someone new.

它邀请我们回归自我。

It invites us back home to ourselves.

我是迈克·德拉罗查，播客《神圣课程》的主持人，这是一个为男性提供停顿、反思与疗愈的空间。

I'm Mike Della Rocha, host of sacred lessons, a space for men to pause, reflect, and heal.

今年，我们将坦诚地探讨心理健康、人际关系以及我们准备释放的模式。

This year, we're talking honestly about mental health, relationships, and the patterns we're ready to release.

如果你正在寻找清晰、连接以及更健康地面对生活的途径，《神圣课程》将为你提供支持。

If you're looking for clarity, connection, and healthier ways to show up in your life, Sacred Lessons is here for you.

请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听迈克·德拉罗查的《神圣课程》。

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Delaroach on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

嗨。

Hi.

我是普里扬卡·瓦利医生。

I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.

我是哈里库恩达·博卢。

And I'm Harikunda Bolu.

新的一年到了，

It's a new year,

在播客《健康那些事》中，我们重新审视我们谈论健康的方式。

and on the podcast Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health.

这意味着坦诚面对我们所知道的、不知道的，以及这一切可能有多么混乱。

Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be.

我喜欢晚睡晚起。

I like to sleep in late and sleep early.

有没有

Is there

这是我的生物钟类型，还是我只是抑郁了？

a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed?

《健康那些事》是关于学习、欢笑，以及感觉没那么孤单。

Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听。

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

嗨，凯尔。

Hi, Kyle.

你能帮我起草一份

Could you draw up a

一份简短的商业计划书，只用一页，用 Google 文档形式发给我链接。

quick document with a basic business plan, just one page, as a Google Doc and send me the link.

谢谢。

Thanks.

嘿，我刚给你把那份简短的一页商业计划书弄好了。

Hey, just finished drawing up that quick one page business plan for you.

这是链接。

Here's the link.

但根本没有链接。

But there was no link.

根本没有商业计划。

There was no business plan.

我还没来得及给凯尔编程实现这个功能。

I hadn't programmed Kyle to be able to do that yet.

我是埃文·拉蒂夫，今天带来一个关于人工智能时代创业的故事。

I'm Evan Ratliff here with a story of entrepreneurship in the AI age.

请听我尝试用虚构的人构建一家真实初创公司的过程。

Listen as I attempt to build a real startup run by fake people.

请收听我的播客《壳牌游戏》第二季，可在 iHeartRadio 应用或任何你收听播客的平台找到。

Check out the second season of my podcast, Shell Game, on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.

无论是遭遇网络骚扰还是收到恶意信息，仅仅阅读评论就可能带来大量伤害。

Whether it is getting swatted or just hateful messages online, there is a lot of harm in even just reading the comments.

这是网络安全专家卡米尔·斯图尔特·格洛斯特在《黑人女孩的治疗》播客中的发言。

That's cybersecurity expert Camille Stewart Gloster on the Therapy for Black Girls podcast.

每个季节都是成长的机会，《黑人女孩的治疗》播客将与你同行。

Every season is a chance to grow and the therapy for black girls podcast is here to walk with you.

我是乔·哈登·布拉德福德博士，每周我们都会深入探讨真实对话，帮助你更清晰、更有信心地前行。

I'm doctor Joy Harden Bradford and each week we dive into real conversations that help you move with more clarity and confidence.

在这一集中，我们将剖析你的信息在线上究竟发生了什么，以及如何有意识地保护自己。

This episode, we're breaking down what really happens to your information online and how to protect yourself with intention.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《黑人女孩的治疗》。

Listen to therapy for black girls on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcast or wherever you get your podcast.

大家好。

Hello, everybody.

我是杰玛·斯派克，欢迎回到《二十多岁的心理学》播客，我们将探讨二十多岁人生中最重要的变化、时刻与转折，以及它们对心理的影响。

I'm Gemma Spike, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties, and what they mean for our psychology.

大家好。

Hello, everybody.

欢迎回到节目。

Welcome back to the show.

欢迎回到播客。

Welcome back to the podcast.

很高兴你在这里。

It is so great to have you here.

我问你一个问题。

Let me ask you something.

你有没有坐下来好好休息过，真正地放松一下？

Have you ever sat down to rest, like genuinely rest?

但几分钟内，你就感到一种可怕的内疚感悄然袭来。

And within minutes, you've just felt this, like, dreaded sense of guilt creeping in.

不是无聊。

Not boredom.

也不是说，哦，我大概该洗碗了。

Not like, oh, I should probably do the dishes.

我的意思是，这种感觉就是，我觉得自己做错了什么。

I mean, like, this sense of, like, I'm doing something wrong.

好像我违反了什么规则。

Like, I have broken a rule here.

我偷了时间。

I have stolen time.

我偷了没付钱就该得到的东西。

I have stolen something I haven't paid for.

这让人特别困惑，因为我知道很多人都有这种体验，休息是我们最基本的人类需求之一。

What makes this so confusing, because I know this is something a lot of us experience, is like rest is one of the most basic human needs we have.

你的大脑和身体都需要恢复时间才能正常运作。

Your brain and your body require a recovery time to function normally.

就像你不需要配得上食物，也不需要配得上水，你只是需要它。

Like, just like you don't deserve food or you, like, don't deserve water, like, you need it.

你也不需要去赚取或配得上休息。

You don't earn or deserve rest either.

你同样也需要休息。

You need that too.

那么，为什么如此必需的东西，却让人在享受时感到如此内疚呢？

So why does something so necessary feel so difficult to access without guilt?

今天我们就来探讨这个问题。

That is what we're gonna get in today.

我还想谈谈‘懒惰’这个概念，也许它根本不像我们所认为的那样存在，以及所有那些心理和社会机制，它们让我们误以为自我价值等于产出，忙碌等于价值。

I also wanna talk about this idea that laziness might not even exist as we know it, and all psychological and the social processes that have conditioned us into thinking self worth equals output, and busyness equals value.

因为你在休息时感到的内疚，并不是个人问题。

Because your guilt around resting is not a personal issue.

实际上，你并没有做错任何事。

It's actually it's not that you're doing anything wrong.

而是历史上、社会上、文化上发生了一些极其奇妙的转变，今天我会带大家梳理这些变化，解释为什么当你请假休息、使用病假、或没有立刻去购物时，会感到如此糟糕。

It's there is, like, some crazy fascinating historical social cultural shifts that I'm gonna walk us through today to explain why it is that when you take the day off, when you use your sick leave, when you don't do your grocery shopping straight away, you feel so bad.

那么，不多说了，我们开始吧。

So without further ado, let's jump into it.

我觉得，关于无罪恶感的休息，我的问题在这个月变得非常明显。

My problem with guilt free rest, I think, became very apparent this month.

我和家人一起度假。

I was on a holiday with my family.

这简直是一场梦幻般的假期。

This is like dream holiday.

对吧？

Right?

我们在斯德哥尔摩。

We're in Stockholm.

我们在芬兰。

We're in Finland.

我们在挪威。

We're in Norway.

这是我妈妈的六十岁生日。

It's my mom's sixtieth birthday.

简直是超棒的妈妈。

Like, amazing mom.

致敬梅琳达。

Shout out to Melinda.

在这次旅行中，我经常在下午三点左右产生一种冲动，想回酒店、回我们的民宿、回任何地方去工作。

And throughout this trip, I would have this urge often around 3PM to go back to our hotel, go back to our Airbnb, go back to where wherever and work.

而且，我得承认，我真的这么做了好几次。

And, like, I'm gonna admit, I even did it a few times.

我找了个借口，回家去工作了。

Like, I I was like, I made an excuse and I went home to work.

我家人有点懵，说：‘盖玛，你搞什么鬼？’

And my family was a little bit like, what the fuck, Gemma?

你又不是在救人性命。

Like, you're not you're not saving lives.

没人会在周六下午四点急需一条Instagram帖子。

Like, nobody urgently needs an Instagram post at 4PM on a Saturday.

没人需要在周一晚上9点更新剧集描述。

Nobody needs an updated episode description at 9PM on a Monday.

但这是一种冲动。

But it was this impulse.

在完成一些有成效的事情之前，我无法安心度过这一天，就像一种挥之不去的痒感。

I couldn't settle for the day until I'd done something productive, like this terrible itch that wasn't leaving.

我认为年轻的我会很快告诉你，我只是真的很喜欢努力工作，热爱工作，这已经融入了我的骨髓，但我并不特别喜欢错过家庭活动。

I think younger me would have been very quick to tell you that, like, I just really like working hard and I love to work and it's, like, in my DNA, but I didn't particularly like not being there for family events.

我也不喜欢那种错失机会或未能创造回忆的感觉。

And I didn't particularly like feeling like I was missing out or not making memories.

那我为什么还要这么做呢？

So why was I doing it?

我想，我们在这种时刻总是需要问自己这个问题。

That's, I think, always a question we have to ask ourselves at different points at points like this.

为什么我们要做那些明明不必做、又不想做的事情？

Like, why do we do things we don't wanna do when we don't have to?

我们为什么觉得必须如此？

Why do we feel like we have to?

让我们先来讨论一下这里发生了什么。

So let's start by discussing what's going on here.

首先，我们对生产力的文化痴迷是什么？

Firstly, what is our cultural obsession with productivity?

因为这正是问题的根源。

Because this is like this here is is the root cause.

我认为，休息之所以变成一种奢侈品，或让人感到内疚的事情，主要原因在于时间不再是我们经历和度过的存在，而变成了需要花费和使用的东西。

One of the biggest reasons why and how rest became this luxury or this thing to feel guilty about, basically, I think happened when time stopped being something that we moved through and we experienced, and it started being something that you spent and you used.

在人类历史的大部分时间里，日常生活主要围绕任务、季节、日光、社区、节奏、工作和生产力展开，而这些会根据社区的需求和季节变化而增减。

For most of human history, daily life was, you know, largely organized around tasks, seasons, sunlight, community, rhythms, work, and productivity, like, expanded and kind of lessened based on what the community needed and and the season.

如果你的需求得到了满足，你就会休息。

If your needs were fulfilled, you rested.

那时，这种休息没有任何负罪感。

There was no guilt attached to that.

我们必须记住，内疚是一种社会性情感，但更重要的是，它是一种情绪。

Guilt, we have to remember, is a social, but more importantly, emotion.

它主要源于社会态度，或他人告诉你做错了什么。

It derives mainly from social attitudes or other people kind of telling you that you're doing something wrong.

如果没有社会影响或关于对错的叙事，内疚并不会自然产生。

It doesn't just come up naturally without social influence or narratives about good and bad.

那么，从那时到现在，我们的社会态度究竟发生了什么变化？

So what exactly from then to now has changed in our social attitude?

我们必须快进到工业革命时期，这很有趣——当钟表开始进入工作场所时。

We have to fast forward to the industrial revolution mainly, and this is so interesting to think about when clocks started to enter the workplace.

这么说感觉有点奇怪，但老实说，这确实是一个重大转变。

Feels weird to say, but honestly, that was a major shift.

历史学家E.P.汤普森在一篇关于工业资本主义的经典文章中讨论过这一点。

The historian EP Thompson, he wrote about this in a very classic piece on industrial capitalism.

这是一篇非常著名的论文，他基本认为，当钟表被引入工厂和工作场所时，一切就开始走下坡路了。

It's this very famous paper, and he basically says when clocks were introduced into factories and into workplaces, that is when stuff went downhill.

它们被用来强制执行纪律。

They were used to enforce discipline.

它们被用来提高产出，基本上是为了协调工人和机器的行动，同时也用来记录一个人工作了多少小时，而不是根据产出计酬。

They were used to enforce higher output to basically, like, coordinate the movements of of the workers and the machines, but also to keep track of how many hours somebody was being paid for rather than output.

迟到和懒惰因此被当作经济问题来看待。

Lateness, idleness, they were then treated as an economic problem.

比如，你上班迟到，不仅仅是因为有人生病了。

Like, if you were late for work, you weren't just late for work because, you know, somebody was sick.

这本身就是一个生产力问题。

Like, you that was a productivity issue.

你的选择导致了金钱的损失。

There was money being lost based on your choices.

一旦时间以这种方式被衡量，我们整个社会就开始意识到，休息或不工作总是有代价的。

Once time is measured in that way, we basically, as a society, begin to learn that there is always some kind of cost to rest or to not working.

也就是说，时间没有被恰当地利用，如果我们不时刻忙碌，就可能错失机会。

That, you know, that's time not being spent proper properly, and we might lose out if we're not on the go all the time.

在这一点上，还有一种更深层的社会文化因素，解释了为什么我们会因不够忙碌或没有任务缠身而感到恐慌。

There is kind of a further social cultural element to that, to why we panic with not being busy enough or occupied by tasks.

我认为这个因素是：不忙碌意味着你可能失业，意味着工作机会不足，意味着你对雇主来说不值得付出成本。

And I think that element is that not being busy means we could be out of a job, means that there isn't enough work to go around, means that you are not worth the cost to an employer.

实际上，回望文化历史，如果你失去了工作，或者选择不工作，通常都会受到严厉的评判。

Actually, you know, looking back culturally, if you lost out on work, if you chose not to work, like, you were generally viewed pretty harshly.

你会因为不工作而被污名化，并因此遭受痛苦。

You were stigmatized for not doing so, and you would suffer.

比如，你的家人会没饭吃。

Like, your family wouldn't eat.

当时的社会保障体系并不完善。

There wasn't as much social security.

所以从宏观层面来看——我知道这是一个心理学播客，但为了追溯历史，我们整个关于工作、生产力和责任感的观念都发生了转变。

So on a huge scale and I know this is a psychology podcast, but to get historical, like, this our entire structure towards work and productivity and perceived responsibility shifted.

它从‘做必需的事’转变为‘做一切超出需求的事’，以及完成所有被要求你完成的任务。

It shifted from doing what was needed to doing everything in excess and what was required from you.

突然间，如果工作没有完成、钱没有赚到，这也成了个人的问题。

And suddenly, it's also the individual's problem if work is not being done and money is not being made.

这真是一个令人压力巨大的负担。

Like, that's a stressful burden.

如果我们向前看到现在，你知道，我们现在有了工会。

If we move forward to modern day, you know, we now have unions.

在许多国家，劳动者权益得到了更好的保障。

We have more adequate workers' rights in a lot of countries.

很多地方都有周末休息。

You know, a lot of places have weekends off.

假日工资是另一个例子。

Holiday pay is another example.

但我们现在拥有的、而过去没有的东西，仍在加剧这种现象，那就是像领英这样的在线平台和社交媒体，它们是让你对休息感到内疚的重要原因。

But what we now have that wasn't around back then that is still contributing to this is online platforms like LinkedIn and social media, and they are a huge contributor to why you feel bad about resting.

当我们会议之间有五分钟、预约之间有五分钟、面条煮的时候有五分钟，我们会做什么？

What do we do when we have five minutes in between meetings, five minutes in between appointments, five minutes whilst our pasta boils?

我们拿起手机刷起来。

We pick up our phones and we scroll.

就在那一刻，我们可能会看到几十个人比我们做得更多。

And in that moment, we can potentially see dozens of other people doing more than us.

这引发了我们如何利用时间的竞争。

And this creates competition with how we use our time.

有竞争，就会有赢家和输家。

And where there is competition, you know, there are winners and there are losers.

有人地位更高，有人地位更低。

There are people with greater status and people with lower status.

我想我需要更好地解释一下这一点。

I think I need I'm gonna explain this a little bit better.

与以往任何时候相比，忙碌在心理上已经成为一种地位象征。

More so than ever, busyness psychologically has become a status symbol.

有研究表明，特别是在美国，社会认知认为忙碌且几乎没有闲暇时间意味着你很重要。

There is research suggesting that in The US in particular, social perception is such that being busy and having little leisure time now means that you're important.

过去，这意味着你拥有的闲暇时间越多，就越重要，因为你有能力不工作。

It used to me that mean that the more leisure time you had, the less like, the more important you were, basically, because you could afford to not work.

现在，这表明你很抢手，你被需要。

Now it shows that you're in demand, that you're needed.

忙碌等同于拥有一个设计师手袋或一辆宝马。

Being busy is the equivalent to having a designer handbag or a BMW.

更长的工作时间，更少的自由时间。

Longer hours, less free time.

同样，这传达了社会地位的重要性。

Again, it conveys social importance.

这听起来很扭曲，因为只有特定类型的忙碌。

This is as twisted as it sounds because it's like only a particular kind of busyness.

对吧？

Right?

只有特定类型的拼搏和奋斗才被美化。

There's only a particular kind of grind and hustle that's glamorized.

人们为了养活孩子而打三份工。

People working three jobs to support their kids.

人们在工厂里工作十四个小时。

People doing fourteen hour factory shifts.

像那些为了养家糊口而拼命工作的人，可不会像那些坐私人飞机全国飞的CEO那样被美化。

Like, that is not glamorized the way that a CEO jet sitting around the country is.

所以现在，我们的观念发生了转变，你的手机时刻将这种叙事直接投射到你的脸上、你的生活中，即使你并不认为自己在接收这种信息，即使你觉得你没有注意到这条信息，即使你没有主动去和别人在线上比较，你的大脑也会自然而然地这么做。

So nowadays, like, we have this shift, and your phone is constantly showing that narrative directly into your face and into your life at all times even if you don't think that it is, even if you think you're not picking up on this message, even when you're not actively thinking that you're comparing yourself to others online, your brain is naturally gonna do it.

你的大脑正在收集那些实现理想形象的人的信息：他们的进展、他们获得的赞美，以及当下被认为令人钦佩的东西。

Your brain is collecting information on those who are achieving the image, their progress, the praise they're getting, and what is considered impressive right now.

这影响了你的自我认知，进而影响了你对休息的态度。

And this influences your self perception and therefore your attitude towards rest.

即使你不是那种自认为有竞争心的人，现代生活的设计方式也会迫使你进入竞争，即使你根本没有选择这样做。

Even if you're not someone who thinks of yourself as competitive, modern life is set up in a way that pushes you into competition even when you didn't really choose to be there.

这就是正在发生的事情。

That is what is happening.

所以让我们暂时换个话题。

So let's switch gears here for a second.

还有另一个因素，我们也需要讨论，它让休息变得令人不安。

There's also this other element that we need to talk about that makes rest feel bad.

这又是职场和机会的过度竞争的‘仓鼠轮’。

And it's the, again, hypercompetitive hamster wheel of the workplace and of op opportunity.

如果你现在二十多岁，你一定感受过。

And if you're in your twenties, you felt it.

这种想法，天啊。

This idea of, like, oh my goodness.

我必须非常努力地工作。

I better work really hard.

我不能停下来，因为一旦停下，我就会落后。

I cannot switch off because if I do, I'm gonna fall behind.

现在的机遇比二十年前少多了。

There aren't as many opportunities as there were twenty years ago.

我必须成为那个得到它的人。

I gotta be the one who gets that.

你知道，承受这种竞争感、工作减少和机会有限的人主要是二十多岁和三十多岁的人。

You know, the per people who are enduring this the most, the sense of competition and this reduction in in jobs and this limited opportunities is twenty and thirty somethings.

这里有一个令人害怕的事实。

Here's a scary fact.

一项来自加拿大的国际幸福感研究发现，最疲惫、对未来压力最大的一代是18至34岁的人。

A scary fact from an international well-being study published out of Canada found that the most burnt out generation and the most stressed generation about the future is eighteen to thirty four year olds.

他们中有98%的人报告至少有一种倦怠症状。

Ninety eight percent of them are reporting at least one symptom of burnout.

只有2%。

Two percent.

我们中有2%的人没有倦怠。

Two percent of us are not burnt out.

整个系统都在塑造我们，让我们成为生产力机器，这多么讽刺啊，因为推动人工智能和科技崛起的主要原因之一，本应是为我们带来更多自由时间，让生活更轻松、更便捷，给我们更多休息时间。

The the whole system is building us to make it's building us to make us productive and to make us output machines, which is so ironic because a major push behind the rise of AI, which is something that's making us so stressed, and the rise of technology was that it was meant to give us more free time and was meant to make our lives easier and more accessible and, you know, give us time off.

那为什么我们不实行每周四天工作制呢？

So why don't we have a four four hour work week?

你知道吗？

You know?

为什么每个人对赶超他人和完成任务反而更加焦虑？

Why why is everybody even more stressed about getting ahead and and about getting stuff done?

我觉得，在这个阶段，不管你有多少空闲时间都没用。

I feel like you it doesn't matter how much free time you have available at this stage.

内疚感不会消失，因为感觉机会正变得越来越小。

The guilt doesn't go away because it feels like the opportunities are getting smaller and smaller.

而这正是这一切问题的根源。

And that's what's at the base of all of this.

我们抗拒真正休息，因为从生存的角度来看，休息让我们感到不安。

We resist actually resting because it makes us feel uncomfortable from a survival lens.

如果你一生都被教导机会是脆弱的，进步很容易失去，只有当你领先时才有资格感到平静，那么休息反而会让人觉得比恢复更有危险。

If all your life you have been taught that opportunities are fragile, that progress is really easy to lose, that you're only allowed to feel calm when you're ahead, then rest actually feels more dangerous than restorative.

这简直就是巨大的心理风险，真的要切换了。

Like, that's a a huge psychological risk, like, switch up.

说实话，现在你休息的时候，感觉就像在拥挤的地方放下包，然后希望没人会偷走它。

Like, putting your it's honestly feels like sometimes when you rest these days, it's like putting your bag down in a crowded place and, like, hoping nobody's gonna take it.

就是这种感觉。

That's what it feels like.

休息感觉像是给别人机会。

Rest feels like giving somebody else an opportunity.

也许从更根本的层面来说，我认为这仍然关乎生存。

Maybe on a on a more fundamental level as well, I think it's because, again, it's about survival.

关乎生存，关乎不能掉链子的感觉。

It's about survival and about the sense of, like, not dropping the ball.

随着我们工作更努力、休息更少，我们的生活变得越来越空洞。

And then as we've worked harder and rested less, our lives have become emptier.

我们忽视了很多本该处理的事情。

We've ignored a lot of stuff that we probably needed to address.

我们逐渐意识到，忙碌是一种情绪调节方式。

How we've kind of learned that being busy is a form of emotional regulation.

它阻止了我们去面对那些真正学会接纳自我、学会放慢脚步时必须做的令人不适的内在工作。

It stops us from having to do the uncomfortable inner work that comes with learning to be truly content with who you are and comes with learning to slow down.

这里有着深刻的心理机制：社会文化变迁将我们推入了一种高度警觉的压力状态，以至于我们把休息视为一种威胁。

And it's it's deeply psychological here that the social cultural like, these social changes have pushed us into such a hypervigilant stress state that we literally see rest as a threat.

而且我们还认为休息会带来强烈的情感暴露，因此我们回避它。

And that we also see it as as something that's gonna be really, like, emotionally revealing, so we avoid it.

我认为，如果这引起了你的共鸣，那你很可能长期处于高度警觉状态，用忙碌填满时间，以维持一种正常运转的假象。

I think if this resonates with you, it's likely that you've been on this high alert for a long time and that you are filling your time with busyness to keep up a sense of of functioning.

所以，归根结底，这一切都源于不适感——休息会让你的心灵足够放松，从而开始质疑一些人生选择、质疑整个体系，也让焦虑悄然浮现，因为事情变得稍微平静了。

So really, again, this is all coming down to discomfort and how rest is going to allow your mind to relax enough to maybe question your some of these life choices, question the system, and also let the anxiety start to creep in because things get a little bit calmer.

计划、监控、不休假、不请病假，都为你提供了可以专注的事情，这比去思考糟糕的经历、思考自己有多疲惫、或思考这种不适感要舒服得多。

So planning and monitoring and not taking holidays and not taking sick leave gives you something to focus on, which is a lot more pleasant than thinking about bad experiences or thinking about how exhausted you are or thinking about how uncomfortable this is.

休息会移除那个已经长期积累、一直支撑着你的应对机制。

Rest removes that coping mechanism that has been building up for a while, that has been holding you together.

所以，当你放慢脚步时，会随之带来很多东西。

So the moment you slow down, like, there's a lot that's gonna come with it.

会有许多回忆、最坏的设想，以及一种模糊的恐惧感涌现出来，那就是内疚。

There's a lot of memories, worst case scenarios, this vague sense of dread that's gonna crop up, and that is the guilt.

这正是我们目前正在解释的内疚感。

That is literally the guilt that we are explaining right now.

如果你每次休息时都感受到内疚，就会通过纯粹的联想学习，意识到这是一件危险的事。

And if every time you experience guilt when you rest, you're gonna learn through association, purely through association, like, that this is a dangerous thing.

因此，你甚至没有意识到，通过这种联想学习，你会更加回避休息。

And so without even realizing through this associative learning, you're going to avoid it even more.

好的。

Okay.

我们在这里稍作休息。

We're gonna take a short break here.

但在短暂休息之后，我们将探讨这种叙事的真实危险，以及如何开始摆脱那些被灌输、被告诉的关于休息的有毒有害想法。

But after this short break, we're gonna explore the real dangers of this narrative and how we can start to unlearn these toxic, harmful thoughts about rest that we have been sold and we have been told.

所以请继续关注我们。

So stay with us.

每年一月，我们都被鼓励重新开始。

Every January, we're encouraged to start over.

但如果今年的重点是放慢脚步，学会更深入地理解自己呢？

But what if this year is about slowing down and learning how to understand ourselves more deeply?

如果今年是关于允许自己感受那些一直压抑的情绪，并知道寻求帮助是完全可以的呢？

What if this year is about giving ourselves permission to feel what we've been holding and knowing that it's okay to ask for help?

我是迈克·德拉罗查，《神圣课程》的主持人。

I'm Mike Della Rocha, host of Sacred Lessons.

这是一个为男性打造的播客，帮助他们应对压力、情绪健康、为人父、身份认同以及那些被教导要独自承受的无形压力。

This is a podcast for men navigating stress, emotional health, fatherhood, identity, and the unspoken pressures we're taught to carry alone.

我们坦诚地谈论心理健康、疗愈代际创伤，以及学习如何以更多的专注和关怀去面对生活。

We talk honestly about mental health, about healing generational wounds, and about learning how to show up with more presence and care.

如果你希望与自己和所爱之人建立更健康的关系，那么《神圣课程》就是为你量身打造的播客。

If you want a healthier relationship with yourself and the people you love, then Sacred Lessons is the podcast for you.

收听迈克·德拉罗查的《神圣课程》，该节目在全美排名第一的播客网络iHeart播出。

Listen to Sacred Lessons with Mike Della Rocha on America's number one podcast network, iHeart.

关注迈克·德拉罗查的《神圣课程》，立即在免费的iHeart广播应用上开始收听。

Follow Sacred Lessons with Mike Della Rocha and start listening on the free iHeart radio app today.

嗨。

Hi.

我是普里扬卡·瓦利医生。

I'm doctor Priyanka Wally.

我是哈里·昆达博格鲁。

And I'm Hari Kundaboglu.

新的一年到了，而且在

It's a new year, and on

播客《健康那些事》中，我们重新定义了谈论健康的方式。

the podcast Health Stuff, we're resetting the way we talk about our health.

这意味着坦诚面对我们所知道的、不知道的，以及这一切可能有多么混乱。

Which means being honest about what we know, what we don't know, and how messy it can all be.

我喜欢晚睡晚起。

I like to sleep in late and sleep early.

有没有

Is there

这种作息的生物钟类型，还是我只是抑郁了？

a chronotype for that, or am I just depressed?

我们会采访专家，分享真实的经历和见解。

We talk to experts who share real experiences and insight.

你真正需要做的是找到自己生活中能够产生影响的地方，并开始行动。

You just really need to find where it is that you can have an impact in your own life and to start doing that.

我们会拆解你想要深入了解的话题。

We break down the topics you want to know more about.

睡眠、压力、心理健康，以及周围世界如何影响我们的整体健康。

Sleep, stress, mental health, and how the world around us affects our overall health.

我们会探讨所有保持身心内外健康的方法。

We talk about all the ways to keep your body and mind inside and out healthy.

我们人类，最想要的只是连接。

We human beings, all we want is connection.

我们只是想彼此相连。

We just wanna connect with each other.

健康话题关乎学习、欢笑，以及感到不那么孤单。

Health stuff is about learning, laughing, and feeling a little less alone.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听。

Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你是否在 2026 年迫切渴望改变，却感到停滞不前？

Are you desperately hoping for change in 2026 but feeling stuck?

只是在旧有的习惯和模式中原地打转？

Just spinning your wheels in old routines and bad habits?

我是劳丽·桑托斯博士，在我的节目《幸福实验室》的新年系列中，我将探讨如何摆脱困境的科学。

I'm doctor Laurie Santos, and in a new year series of my show, The Happiness Lab, I'm going to look at the science of getting, well, unstuck.

在工作中摆脱困境，在关系中摆脱困境，甚至在内心深处摆脱困境。

Unstuck at work, unstuck in your relationships, and even unstuck inside your mind.

说到陷入反复思虑的循环并把自己逼疯，我绝对是最糟糕的例子。

I am the absolute worst culprit when it comes to getting into these ruminative loops and just driving myself crazy.

我们将探讨如何重新点燃你的目标感，重拾你的价值观，并提升创造力。

We'll look at ways to reignite your sense of purpose, rediscover your values, and get more creative.

我们还将探索如何设计一个

We'll also explore how to design a

更令人满足的生活。

life that feels more fulfilling.

这有点像人生游戏。

It's sort of like the game of life.

我不知道你有没有玩过这个游戏。

I don't know if you ever played that game.

天啊。

Oh my gosh.

有。

Yes.

你开着车，努力赚取

You take the car along, and you try

赚钱，努力争取

and get money, and you try

获得学位，努力达到

and get degrees, and you try and get to

终点，那里要么是一座豪宅，要么是牧场，要么是一间小屋。

the end where either you have a mansion or a ranch or a shack.

一旦你到达退休阶段，游戏就结束了。

And once you get to retirement, you're done.

但沿途的整个过程呢？

What about the whole path along the way?

所以，加入我，一起在2026年摆脱困境。

So join me to get unstuck in 2026.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听节目的任何平台收听《幸福实验室》。

Listen to the happiness lab on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your shows.

你知道，我们总说新年新我，但真正的改变始于内心。

You know, we always say new year, new me, but real change starts on the inside.

它始于像关注目标一样关注你的思想和精神。

It starts with giving your mind and your spirit the same attention you give your goals.

大家好。

Hey, everybody.

我是米歇尔·威廉姆斯，黑人影响播客网络《检查状态》节目的主持人。

It's Michelle Williams, host of checking in on the black effect podcast network.

在我的播客中，我们讨论心理健康、疗愈、成长，以及你迈向下一个阶段所需的一切——完整而有力量。

And on my pod podcast, we talk mental health, healing, growth, and everything you need to step into your next season, whole and empowered.

新年，真实的你。

New year, real you.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听黑人影响播客网络的《与米歇尔·威廉姆斯一起检查状态》。

Listen to checking in with Michelle Williams from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

在这个时候，我感觉有必要提醒大家：休息本质上是一种生理需求，就像食物和水一样。

I kind of feel the need to remind us at this point that rest is literally a biological requirement, the same way that food and water is a biological requirement.

你不能剥夺自己这一点。

You cannot deprive yourself of that.

你可以暂时硬撑过去。

You can push through for a while.

你可以找借口逃避休息和恢复的需要。

You can negotiate your way out of needing rest and needing recovery.

但你逃不掉。

You cannot outrun it.

这根本不可能。

It's just not possible.

睡眠就是我们最清晰的例子之一。

Sleep is, like, one of the clearest examples we have of this.

它非常容易衡量。

It's so measurable.

因此，研究人员经常以睡眠作为衡量休息的方式。

So researchers often focus on it as a way of measuring rest.

显然，这并不是休息的唯一方式，但宾夕法尼亚大学睡眠与呼吸神经生物学中心的研究人员对48名21至38岁的参与者进行了长期睡眠限制实验，让他们分别处于每天只睡8小时、6小时或4小时的不同条件下。

Obviously, that's not the only way to rest, but researchers at the center of sleep and respiratory neurobiology at the University of Pennsylvania, They conducted a chronic sleep restriction experiment with 48 participants aged 21 to 38, and they basically put them in these different conditions where they either restricted rest and and sleep to eight hours, six hours, or four hours.

这种状态持续了两周。

And this was maintained for two weeks.

之后，有些人连续三天完全不睡觉，而另一些人则被允许连续睡三天。

Then the people either didn't get any sleep for three days or they were allowed to sleep for three days.

老实说，到那时我可能已经出现幻觉了，所以我希望这些受试者拿到了不少现金报酬。

Honestly, at that point, I'd probably be hallucinating, so I hope these subjects got paid some cash.

但他们发现，那些每天只睡四小时或六小时的人，他们的认知表现逐日恶化，到后来其受损程度与醉酒状态相当。

But what they found was that those who had either four or six hours of sleep a night, their cognitive performance day after day got so bad to the point where their level of impairment was the same as being drunk.

就像他们喝了很多啤酒、很多杯葡萄酒一样。

Like, as if they had consumed multiple beers, multiple glasses of wine.

可怕的是，很多人常常觉得‘我没什么不一样’。

The scary part is that people often a lot of these people were like, I don't feel any different.

于是他们四处走动，还觉得自己状态不错。

So they walk around and they think, cool.

我觉得我开车没问题，工作时我注意力集中，上课时我也专心，做决定也很明智。

It's okay for me to drive, and I'm I'm paying attention at work, I'm paying attention in class, and I'm making good decisions.

但他们其实并没有恢复大脑的状态。

And they're just not because they haven't restored their minds.

而且，这正是这项研究的参与者所报告的情况。

And, again, this is exactly what participants in this study also reported.

他们发现，那些每天睡眠六小时或更少的人也经历了类似的情况。

They found that those who slept for six hours or less were also kind of experiencing this as well.

你还记得那些连续三天不睡觉的人吗？

And you remember those people who didn't sleep for three days?

连续两周每天只睡六小时或更少，甚至五小时、四小时，其累积效应。

The cumulative effect of sleeping, six hours or less, five, four hours for two weeks.

而连续两天完全不睡觉，效果也是一样的。

And not sleeping at all for two days was the same.

所以，‘我没事’这种感觉，其实是个谎言。

So that I'm fine feeling, a, is a lie.

你并不好。

You're not fine.

你需要休息。

You need to rest.

这也在某种程度上让我们纵容了这种压榨休息、继续硬撑的习惯。

It's also a way of us allowing this habit of, like, pushing rest down to continue.

如果你没有感到明显更糟，就会以为自己可以一直这样撑下去。

If you don't feel dramatically worse, you assume you can keep going and going.

但这类研究向我们揭示的是，你只是把问题往后拖延，最终你必须偿还你的睡眠债务。

But what, of course, like, studies like this is showing us is that you are just pushing the fur like, the problem further down the line, and you've gotta pay you gotta pay the sleep debt eventually.

你终究得支付你的睡眠税、休息税。

You've gotta pay your sleep tax, your rest tax eventually.

睡眠，本质上是最彻底的休息方式。

Now sleep is, like, the ultimate form of rest.

它就像是大脑的紧急维护，是一次紧急保养。

It's like it's like an emergency maintenance it's emergency maintenance for your brain.

睡眠是大脑进行持续维护的方式，用于清除杂念、修复损伤、存储记忆，如果你感兴趣，我们有一整集专门讨论睡眠的心理学。

It's consistent maintenance for your brain to clear out clutter, to restore itself from damage, to store memories, and we have a whole episode on the psychology of sleep if you're interested.

但你的生活中还需要更广泛的休息。

But there's also more broader rest that that's needed in your life.

如果你要给休息下个定义，那就是当你不需要将注意力集中在任何事物上时，你的身体可以放松下来，不再处于警觉或过度警觉的状态。

Resting, if you want a definition, is like when you don't have to fix your attention on anything, when your body can unclench and you're not in a state of vigilance or hypervigilance.

当你处于警觉状态时，你并没有在休息。

When you are in a state of vigilance, you are not resting.

当你处于警觉和专注的状态时，你并没有在休息。

When you're in a state of alert and attention, you are not resting.

我想，我们大多数人平时都处于这种状态。

That is the state that I'd say the majority of us are in all the time.

所以，当你长时间工作，尤其是从事认知要求高的任务时，你正在消耗那些随着时间积累起来的天然储备——你正在使用你的注意力控制力、工作记忆和情绪调节能力的天然储备。

So when you work for long stretches, especially on cognitively demanding tasks, you are spending natural reserves that are built up over time of you build like, you're using your natural reserves of attentional control, working memory, emotional regulation.

你一直在消耗，消耗，再消耗。

You are taking, taking, taking.

你终将达到零点。

You're going to hit zero.

这些系统会感到疲惫。

Those systems get tired.

它们的效率会大幅下降。

They get way less efficient.

这就是为什么你可以在电脑前多坐两个小时，却比刚开始的二十分钟做得更少。

That is why you can sit at your laptop for an extra two hours and get less done than when you first started in twenty minutes.

或者，如果你第二天回来，2022年的一项元分析研究了全天频繁进行短暂休息和微休息，发现这其实是对你身心健康最有益的做法之一。

Or if you were to come back, you know, the next day, a twenty twenty two, I think, meta analysis that looked at taking micro breaks and micro rest throughout the day actually found that this is one of the best things you can do for your well-being.

这会让你感觉好得多，疲劳感减轻，精力更充沛。

It's gonna make you feel so much better, less fatigued, more vigorous.

工作三十分钟，休息十分钟。

Doing thirty minutes on of work, ten minutes off.

工作一小时，休息二十分钟对我们的大脑非常有效，因为它为我们提供了大脑所需的微休息剂量。

Doing an hour on, twenty minutes off works so well for our brains because it gives us these micro doses of rest that that it needs.

你的大脑正在呼唤、恳求、请求你给它休息一下。

Your brain is calling, begging, asking you to to give it a break.

它并不是为了连续五小时盯着屏幕而设计的。

It was not made to sit and stare at a screen for five hours.

它也不是为了连续五小时盯着Excel表格或Canva而设计的。

It was not made to sit and look at an Excel spreadsheet for five hours or Canva for five hours.

如果你休息，实际上会以一种非常特定的方式让你变得更聪明。

If you rest, you actually make yourself smarter in a very specific way.

我认为这一点很重要，因为我们不休息、不休息的原因之一，就是我们又觉得会落后。

And I think this is the important thing because half the reason we don't rest and we don't take breaks and whatever is because we, again, think we're gonna fall behind.

我们觉得会完成得更少。

We think we're gonna get less done.

我们觉得会效率更低。

We think we're gonna be less efficient.

我要告诉你们的是，如果你想立刻变得更聪明，就必须反直觉地多休息。

What I'm gonna say to you is that if you wanna be smarter almost immediately, you have to counterintuitively rest more.

这听起来可能像在撒谎。

And that might sound like a lie.

听起来可能很快、可能是假的。

It might sound like a fast, might sound fake.

有大量证据支持这一点。

There is so much evidence to this.

老实说，人们不更多地谈论它，这简直荒谬。

It's, like, honestly ridiculous that people don't talk about it more.

这是我能给出的最好例子。

This is the best example I can give.

你有没有遇到过卡在某个问题上，然后去洗澡、散步，或者做点别的不相关的事，结果答案突然就出现在你脑海里？

Have you ever been stuck on a problem and then you go shower, you go walk, you go do something unrelated, and, like, the answer basically pops into your head?

这是一种有据可查的现象。

That is a documented effect.

这就是休息为你带来的效果。

That is what rest does for you.