381. 友谊真的注定是麻烦的吗？

我担心我们的友谊似乎无法融入这个框架。

And I'm afraid our friendship doesn't seem to fit into that framework.

我再也无法承受你希望我扮演的这种情感角色了——这种语言虽然很有力量，但典型的治疗师用语。

I can no longer hold the emotional space you've wanted me to that kind of language, which is empowering language, but that's classic therapy speak.

这种语言，没错。

That language yes.

再说一遍，这很重要。

Again, it's important.

界限很重要。

Boundaries are important.

但在这个例子中，这个人缺少了一个关键要素。

But in this example, this person is missing a crucial ingredient.

你不能只设定界限却不与对方沟通，然后只施加后果。

You can't set a boundary and not communicate it with the other person and then only deliver the consequences.

你不能期望每段关系都完全由你的需求主导，而这些需求在你切断关系之前从未表达过，还指望能因此拥有充实的友谊。

You can't expect every relationship to be purely dictated by your needs, which are never expressed before the person is cut from your life, and think or expect to have fulfilling friendships from that.

这只是不可能的。

It's just it's not possible.

自助、治疗和健康话语，以及所有这些语言，让我们以为自我提升和疗愈是孤立发生的，或者改善生活完全取决于我们能为自己做些什么，如何让生活更少压力、更稳定神经系统、消除有害能量。

Self help and therapy and wellness speak and and all this language has made us think that, I guess, self improvement and healing is something that happens in isolation or that improving our lives is all about what we can do for ourselves and what we can do to make our lives more stress free and nervous system regulation and removing toxic energy.

但我认为我们矫枉过正了。

But I think I think we've overcorrected.

曾经有一段时间，我们对此没有任何语言表达。

There was a point where we didn't have any language for this.

我们对此一无所知。

We didn't have any knowledge about this.

所以我们确实需要这些语言来提醒自己：嘿。

And so we really did need some of this language to be like, hey.

这就是我为什么感到难过。

That's why I feel bad.

这就是我为什么觉得被利用了。

That's why I feel taken advantage of.

现在我们可能把标准推得太过头了，以至于变得孤立。

Now we've perhaps taken the standard so far that it's that it's isolating.

这是一种高度个人主义的方法，我认为这与我们大多数人所渴望的集体生活相矛盾。

It's a highly individualistic approach that, you know, I think contradicts the collective lives most of us crave.

它也没有承认人性这一基本事实。

What it also doesn't acknowledge is the mere fact of human nature.

人都会犯错。

People make mistakes.

你也犯过错误。

You have made mistakes.

你犯过的错误，别人已经原谅了你。

You have made mistakes people have forgiven you for.

人们会有分歧。

People have disagreements.

关系并不总是平等的。

Relationships aren't equal all the time.

也许最重要的是，你并不是唯一有需求的人，你在一段关系中或在这个世界上也不是最重要的那个人。

And maybe the most crucial one of all, you are not the only person who has needs, and you are not the most important person in a relationship or in the world.

你只是在一个更大的集体系统中运作的普通人，你给予这个集体、你的朋友、家人、邻居乃至陌生人的，最终也会回馈到你身上。

You are just a person operating in a bigger collective system, and what you give to that collective, to your friends, to your family, to your neighbors, to to strangers, is what you receive back.

但在这个等式中，你依然拥有主动权。

And there's still agency in that equation.

对吧？

Right?

如果你想要维持那些界限——比如，不要越过这些底线，不要伤害我，我不能被打扰，我想要一个没有压力的生活——你当然完全有权利这么做。

If you wanna maintain those boundaries of, like, do not cross these, do not wrong me, I cannot be inconvenienced, I want a stress free life, you're totally welcome to do that.

但当你发现再也没有朋友，或者你的社群空无一人时，别感到惊讶。

But don't turn around and be surprised when you don't have any friends anymore or your community is there's nothing there.

友谊之所以如此美好、复杂且富有滋养，社区之所以如此美好、复杂且富有滋养，是因为人是复杂的，他们会给我们惊喜，他们并不完美。

The reason friendship is so beautiful and complex and nourishing and the reason community is so beautiful and complex is nourishing is because people are complex and because they surprise us and because they are imperfect.

如果你想真正欣赏这种完整的美，你也必须付出代价：有时会因为别人让你生气、让你不便而感到烦躁——比如你其实并不想开车去机场接他们，但你知道，他们之前也接过你，所以你还是去吧。

If you want to appreciate the full beauty of that, you also have to pay the price of being annoyed at people sometimes because they piss you off or inconvenienced because you don't really wanna pick them up from the airport, but, you know, they did it for you the other day, so you you may as well.

或者，偶尔会因人们独特而个体化，无法像电影角色那样完全迎合你的需求而产生的挫败感。

Or the occasional frustration that comes with people being unique and individual and not exactly catered to your needs like a character in a movie.

我认为，从个人角度来说，这样你会得到更多的回报。

I think I think personally you get much more in return that way.

真正的社区是混乱的，因为人类本身就是混乱的。

True community is messy because humans are messy.

正因如此，他们才如此美好。

That's why they are wonderful.

再次强调，你可以选择另一种方式。

Again, you can choose the alternative.

你可以继续过一种一切以你的便利为中心的生活。

You can continue to live a life where everything is organized around your convenience.

你完全有权这么做。

You are so welcome to do so.

这正是治疗以及这股健康与自我提升浪潮的美妙之处。

That's the beautiful thing about therapy and this wave of of wellness and self improvement.

人们已经意识到，他们在情感选择上拥有自主权。

People have learned that they have agency in their emotional choices.

你拥有自由意志。

You have free will.

但如果你选择拒绝一点不适，我认为你的生命体验不会达到它本可达到的高度。

But I don't think your human experience is going to be as great as it can be if you alternatively accept a little bit of discomfort.

这被称为摩擦定律。

It's called the law of friction.

生活中一些最好的事物往往伴随着最大的摩擦和不适。

Some of the best things in life create the most friction and discomfort.

友谊也是如此。

That's with friendship.

有鉴于此，让我们谈谈如今成为社区一员需要什么，以及如何即使在困难的情况下，也能创造你想要且应得的社区。

With that in mind, let's talk about what it takes to be a villager these days and the ways that you can create the community you want and that you you deserve, even when it's not easy.

首先，第一条建议。

Starting with tip number one.

这件事比任何其他事情都更彻底地改变了我的友谊。

This is the thing that dramatically dramatically changed my friendships more than anything else.

你还记得在高中甚至小学时，你会去留意谁在你生日时给你发消息，谁在他们的Instagram或Snapchat故事里提到了你，而谁没有吗？

Do you know when you were in high school or even primary school and you would, like, keep track of who messaged you for your birthday or, like, who posted about you on their Instagram story or, like, Snapchat for your birthday and who didn't?

我知道很多成年人现在仍然以不同的方式做着类似的事。

Like, I know a lot of us still do this in adulthood in a different form.

一直在记着是不是自己最后一个主动联系的人。

Keeping track of whether you were the last one to reach out.

你总是最后一个发声，不管是什么小事。

You were the last one to shout, you know, whatever it is, those little things.

我需要你停止这样做。

I need you to stop doing that.

我知道这感觉很不自然，但我真的需要你停止这样做。

I know it's it feels unnatural, but I need you to stop doing that.

一切都变成了计分板，这扼杀了关系本应具有的自然互惠。

Everything becomes a scoreboard, and that eliminates the natural reciprocity that a relationship should have.

有一个非常著名的社会心理学理论，你肯定在这个播客里听过多次。

There is a very famous social psychology theory that you've definitely heard on this podcast before.

它被称为公平理论。

It's known as equity theory.

基本上说，当我们觉得在友谊中，投入与回报的比例不公平或不均衡时，就会产生紧张感，让我们感到不适。

Basically says that when we perceive that the input and output ratio in a relationship is not fair or is unequal in friendship, it it causes tension, and it causes us to be uncomfortable.

这完全可以理解。

That's totally understandable.

对吧？

Right?

因为我们希望知道，别人喜欢我们，就像我们喜欢他们一样，不希望被利用。

Because we wanna know that somebody likes us as much as we like them, that they're not taking advantage of us.

但如果你只关注这一点，那就不是一种自然的关系。

But when it's the only thing you pay attention to, that's not an organic relationship.

此外，如果你想拥有长期的友谊，就必须以多年的时间尺度来看待这个问题。

And, additionally, you have to be able to view that over many years if you want long term friendships.

有时候，朋友需要从你这里得到更多，需要更多的关注、更多的时间和空间来倾诉，需要更多的支持，有时甚至持续数月之久。

Sometimes a friend needs more from you, needs more of the oxygen, needs more of the time and the space to vent, needs more support, sometimes for months on end.

如果我们总是用短期的统计数据，比如去核对上一次谁做了什么，你可能会错误地认为对方是个‘坏人’，但事实并非总是如此。

If we are constantly weighing up the short term stats with that, you know, checklist of who did what last, I think you may incorrectly believe that they are being a bad villager, and that's not always true.

有时候，你必须能够从长远的角度，以数年甚至数十年的视角，来看待一段关系的起伏变化。

Sometimes you have to be able to get that bird's eye view of over years and years or even over decades of the flows that a relationship takes.

其次，第二种成为‘小气鬼’的方式是，对抗你过度的独立性，主动寻求帮助。

Secondly, the second way you can be a villager is push back against your hyper independence and ask for help.

这一直是我的难题。

This is something I've I've always struggled with.

我是个非常独立的人，典型的长女、高成就者、觉得自己不需要任何人那种类型，17岁就搬出了家。

And, you know, I'm a very independent person, classic, I know, eldest daughter, high achiever, don't need anyone type, moved out of home when I was, like, 17.

我相信你们中很多人都能感同身受。

I'm sure so many of you relate to this as well.

不依赖任何人帮忙，曾是我引以为豪的标志。

It was a badge of honor to not need help with anything.

我意识到，不让人帮助我，实际上对双方都是一种伤害。

What I've realized is that not letting people help me is actually doing both of us a disservice.

我感到更加吃力。

I struggle more.

我感觉自己快要撑不住了。

I feel more in over my head.

但这也在剥夺他人表达爱意的机会，他们想用自己的方式向你展示爱。

But it's also denying someone else the opportunity they would like to show you that they love you in their way.

你有时否定了他们以实际行动表达爱的语言，但其实他们也真心想这么做。

You are denying sometimes their love language of acts of service, but also they want to do this.

这是一件很奇怪的事。

This is this is this weird thing.

有时候，允许别人帮助你，反而是送给他们的礼物。

Letting people help you is more of a gift to other people sometimes.

所以，如果你认为让他们帮忙是打扰他们，而不允许他们这么做，其实是在限制他们。

And so not letting them do that because you think it's a you think it's an annoyance to them means you're limiting them in a way.

我觉得，当你请人帮忙搬家、接你去机场、陪你去看医生，或者早起送你一程时，很难不觉得自己是个负担。

I think it's very, very hard to not feel like a burden when you ask people for help when you move or when you ask them to pick you up from the airport or to take you to doctor's appointments or, you know, get up early and give you a lift somewhere.

但我发现，我想让你反思一下自己的经历：每次有人请我帮忙、让我做点什么、提前来参加派对时，天哪。

But what I found, and I want you to reflect on your own experiences here, is that any times I have been asked that and I somebody's asked me to do them a favor or to help them or to come early to the party, oh my god.

我内心会涌起一种强烈的温暖感。

I'm I feel such, like, a swelling in my heart.

我会变得特别兴奋。

I'm I get so excited.

我会想，他们竟然信任我。

I'm like, I they have trusted me.

他们一定真的很爱我。

They must really love me.

我们的友谊一定非常好，他们一定觉得我是个很棒的朋友。

Our friendship must be, like, really, really they must think I'm a great friend.

这是一种美好的感觉。

And that's a beautiful feeling.

当一个村民不仅仅是让别人依赖你。

Being a villager isn't just letting others lean on you.

也要学会依靠他们。

It's leaning on them as well.

允许自己接受帮助，而不是进一步孤立自己。

And letting yourself be helped rather than isolating yourself further.

而且，你越坚持自己的极度独立，就会越疲惫。

Also, the more you maintain loyalty to your hyper independence, the kind of the more exhausted you're going to be.

而这不会给你提供足够的心理能量或认知能量去支持他人。

And that is not gonna give you the mental energy, the cognitive energy to show up for others.

所以，你必须学会坦然地说：是的，我确实需要帮助，主动寻求帮助，并理解这对双方都是一种馈赠。

So you have to be okay with saying, yes, I do need help and asking for help and understanding that's a gift for both people.

第三，回想那些你很累却依然前往的时刻。

Number three, remember the times that you were tired and you went anyways.

接受友谊有时会带来不便，这一点非常重要，那就是要记住，这种不便依然伴随着回报。

A really important part of accepting that friendship is gonna be inconvenient is remembering that that inconvenience still brings with it a reward.

回顾你自己的记忆，回想过去那些你明明不想去的时刻，

Reflecting on your own memories and looking back in the past and distinctly keeping a bank of, like, times where you were like, I really don't wanna go.

比如觉得这肯定会很糟糕，但结果却很棒，这对你建立一种关联至关重要：有时感到有点烦、有点累、觉得实在不想去，但最终却得到了回报。

This is gonna be terrible, and it was great anyways, is so important for learning that association between sometimes being a little bit annoyed, sometimes being tired, too tired to go, you think, and actually being rewarded.

我不是说为了那种牺牲，而是为了坚持到底而获得的回报。

And I don't wanna say for that sacrifice, but rewarded for pushing through.

第四点，如果你在建立社群方面真的遇到困难，那就每周固定安排两个不可取消的社交日。

Fourth tip, if you're really struggling with, like, building community, pick two nonnegotiable social days a week.

自从我搬到伦敦以来，我一直采用这种方法。

This is something I've been employing since moving to London.

无论情绪如何，坚持出席，只是与他人保持身体上的亲近，就是建立社群的绝佳方式。

Consistently showing up despite your mood, just being in physical closeness to other people is a fantastic way to build the village.

对吧？

Right?

在过去，村庄之所以紧密相连，是因为地理上的邻近，住在隔壁的人、和你一起旅行的人，也许和你一样是游牧民族，或者住在你隔壁小屋里的人。

Back in the day, the village was really united by geographical closeness and people who lived next door to you and people who traveled with you and who were maybe nomadic with you or who were in the hut next door.

是的，随着个人主义的兴起以及我们遍布全球，这种亲密感确实已经消失了。

Like, yes, we've lost that closeness with the increase in, I guess, individualism and how spread out we are across the world.

但每个社区、街区、郊区、城市仍然有那些社区中心，比如健身房、酒吧、图书馆、合唱团，你都可以去参加。

But every community, neighborhood, suburb, city still has those community hubs, still has gyms, pubs, libraries, choirs that you can go to.

所以，每周定下两天，明确告诉自己：这就是我融入社区所付出的代价，这两天我只专注于走出去，这种方式非常有效。

So having two days a week where you're like, this is my this is the this is my the price I pay to be in community and these are the days I'm gonna devote just to being out there is highly effective.

我还要说第五点，和这个有点类似。

I would also say number five, kind of similar to this.

但实际上，完全不是一回事。

Actually, it's totally not.

它完全是不同的。

It's completely different.

但我心想，哦，因为它也和社区有关。

But I'm like, oh, because it has to do with community.

不。

No.

这是不同的。

It's different.

但第五点，如果你感到困难，可以邀请朋友和你一起做家务。

But number five, if you're struggling, invite your friends to do chores with you.

有时候，每周有两个大型社交日，对一些人来说太多了。

Sometimes having those two big social days a week, that is a lot for some people.

对吧？

Right?

而且很贵。

And it's expensive.

尤其是在大城市，每周出去两次，要买饮料、付电影票、吃晚饭，这很贵。

It's expensive, especially if you live in a big city, to go out and have to be you have to buy drinks, have to pay for the movie tickets, have to go out for dinner twice a week.

这很贵。

That's expensive.

在伦敦，一顿晚餐现在大约要40英镑。

Dinner in London is, like, £40 at the moment.

像每周做两次这样的事，有时候根本行不通。

Like, doing that twice a week is sometimes not an option.

找一些你愿意和别人一起做的、轻松一点的事情。

Find those kind of more low effort things that you wanna do with people.

做家务简直太棒了。

Chores are fantastic.

你能和某人一起做家务，我认为这正是衡量你们是否是好朋友的标准。

Your ability to do chores with somebody, I think that that is a marker of whether you are good friends or not.

我和好朋友埃琳最美好的一些回忆，是我们住在堪培拉的时候，一起去哪儿来着？

Some of my best memories with my good friend, Erin, it was when we lived in Canberra, and we would just go to what was it?

迪克森杂货店，一待就是好几个小时。

The Dixon grocery store for hours.

那时候我有个特别糟糕的室友。

I had a terrible roommate at a at the time.

我真的不想待在家里。

Like, I really didn't wanna be in the house.

我们就只是在那些过道里来回走着。

And we we would just walk up and down and up and down those aisles.

听起来真的很无聊。

Sounds really lame.

但你知道吗？

But you know what?

我认为，任何能与他人亲近的事情都是很棒的。

Anything to be in closeness with somebody, I think, is is amazing.

第六，记得记录重要里程碑，并有意识地安排时间或金钱，让这些里程碑对他人来说显得重要。

Number six, remember to keep track of milestones and consciously budget either time or money to make those milestones feel important for others.

我只是觉得我们彼此庆祝得不够。

I just feel like we don't celebrate each other enough.

尤其是当你有很多很酷的朋友，他们总是在做了不起的事情时，我们有时会忘记他们依然希望被庆祝。我们本质上都像小孩子，希望有人记得我们的生日，记得我们上学的第一天、新工作的第一天，希望有人记得，嘿，那是一件很难的事，而我正在挺过去，这本身就应该得到奖励。

And especially if you are, like, friends with a lot of really cool people who are always doing amazing things, sometimes we forget that they still wanna be celebrated and that we're all kind of little kids in a way who want somebody to remember our birthday and who want somebody to remember our first day of school, our first day of a new job, and who want people to remember that, like, hey, that was a really hard thing and I'm getting through it and, like, that in itself deserves a reward.

我觉得我不确定。

I think I don't know.

以我个人的经历来说，打破第四面墙一下，特别是如果你是在Netflix上观看的话，当Netflix这个事情发生的时候，某种程度上挺让人难过的，因为我感觉一件大事正在发生，我四处寻找能一起庆祝的人，那些我本以为会在我身边、愿意和我一起庆祝的人，却一个都没出现。

To speak from personal experience and to kind of break the fourth wall here, especially if you're watching on Netflix, like, when Netflix when this whole Netflix thing happened, it was kind of sad in a way because I felt like this huge thing was happening, and I was looking around for people to, like, celebrate with and some people who I really would have expected to be there for me and to wanna celebrate with me for that, just weren't.

这真的让我很受伤，真的很刺痛。

And that really that that hurt, and that really stung.

而这段经历让我意识到：嘿，那我有没有对别人也这样做呢？

And I think having that experience has made me realize, hey, but am I doing that for others?

如果我想成为这个社群的一部分，有时候你必须以身作则。

And if I want to be part of the village, like, I've got to be sometimes you've got to set the example.

我认为，最能体现你关心他人、认真倾听的方式，就是记住那些最微小的细节。

And I think one of the greatest ways to show people that you care and that you listen is remembering just the smallest things.

每周固定存10.2美元、50美元到一个专门用于社交、庆贺和里程碑开支的账户里，这样你就能在别人的重要时刻真正出现在他们的生活中。

And every week putting $10.20, $50 into into an account just for social money and just for milestone money and celebratory money so that you can be a presence in somebody's life during their milestones.

当他们回望那些里程碑、生日、订婚、新工作、新家的回忆时，你就在那里，成为他们人生故事的一部分。

When they look back at the memory of a milestone, of a birthday, of an engagement, of a new job, of a new house, you are there, and you are part of of their kind of life story.

好的。

Okay.

我们再休息一小会儿。

We're gonna take one more short break here.

但回来后，让我们也谈谈当一段友谊变得过于单方面时的情况。

But when we return, let's talk also about when a friendship is perhaps becoming too one-sided.

当和这些人在一起变成一种负担，而不再只是不便时。

And when it's no longer inconvenience, it's a burden to be around those people.

请继续关注我们。

Stay with us.

半夜里，萨斯基亚在迷迷糊糊中醒了过来。

In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze.

她的丈夫迈克正在用笔记本电脑。

Her husband Mike was on his laptop.

他屏幕上的内容将永远改变萨斯基亚的人生。

What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever.

我说你需要

I said I need you to

告诉我你到底在做什么。

tell me exactly what you're doing.

那一刻，面具立刻脱落了。

And immediately, the mask came off.

你本该感到安全的。

You're supposed to be safe.

那是你的家。

That's your home.

那是你的丈夫。

That's your husband.

为了保守这个秘密，这么多年来，他就像一个老练的专家。

To keep this secret, For so many years, he's like a seasoned pro.

这是一个关于婚姻终结的故事。

This is a story about the end of a marriage.

但这也是一个女人决定不再生活在黑暗中的故事。

But it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark.

你是一个危险的人，专门欺骗那些脆弱而信任他人的人。

You're a dangerous person who preys on vulnerable and trusting people.

你是个掠食者，迈克尔·列文·古德。

You're a predator, Michael Levin Good.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《背叛》第五季。

Listen to Betrayal season five on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

如果思想控制是真实的呢？

What if mind control is real?

如果你能控制

If you could control the

你身边任何人的行为，你会过上怎样的生活？

behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?

你能通过催眠说服一个人买一辆车吗？

Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?

当你看着

When you look at

你的车，会让你被如此美好的感觉淹没。

your car, you're gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.

你能催眠别人和你发生关系吗？

Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?

我给了她一些建议，让她产生性兴奋。

I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.

你能让人加入你的邪教吗？

Can you get someone to join your cult?

有人用神经语言程序学（NLP）来接触我的潜意识。

NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.

神经语言程序学（NLP），即神经语言程序学，是催眠、语言学和心理学的结合。

NLP, aka neuro linguistic programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology.

粉丝说，这就像终于拿到了大脑的用户手册。

Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain.

这是关于意识的工程。

It's about engineering consciousness.

《心灵游戏》讲述了NLP的故事，它的狂热追随者，以及那位在新时代公社发明NLP并将其卖给西装革履人士的假医生。

Mind Games is the story of NLP, its crazy cast of disciples, and the fake doctor who invented it at a New Age commune and sold it to guys in suits.

他曾因谋杀受审，但最终被宣告无罪。

He stood trial for murder and got acquitted.

最大的心灵游戏是什么？

The biggest mind game of all?

NLP可能真的有效。

NLP might actually work.

这太疯狂了。

This is wild.

在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《心灵游戏》。

Listen to mind games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

本节目包含的信息包括但不限于个人见解、传闻、不太准确的数据以及其他更多内容。

This show contains information subject to, but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more.

嘿，伙计，最近怎么样？

What's up, man?

我是来自《Broken Play》播客的Nev Green。

It's your boy, Nev Green from the Broken Play podcast.

看。

Look.

赛季结束了。

It's the end of the season.

季后赛来了。

The playoffs are here.

但你猜怎么着？

But guess what?

这可不代表你的赛季就结束了。

It ain't the end of your season.

你随时可以收听Nev Green在Black Effect Podcast Network播出的《Broken Play》播客。

You can always tune in with Broken Play podcast with Nav Green on the Black Effect Pod cast Network.

不是一支进不了季后赛的队伍。

Not a team who ain't going to the playoffs.

酋长队。

The Chiefs.

说啥呢？

What's the rap?

是时候重建了。

It's time to rebuild.

那现在谁是你的MVP？

Who your MVP right now then?

德雷克·梅伊就在那里。

Drake May up there.

乔什·艾伦也在那里。

Josh Allen up there still.

哦，我的兄弟，马修·斯塔福德。

Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford.

他

Did he

投票给尼克斯？

vote Nicks at?

他没落后太多。

He ain't too far behind.

所有这些讨论

Did all this talk

兄弟，马修·斯塔福德目前的数据简直疯狂。

And what Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro, is crazy.

兄弟，我知道我不是乔什·艾伦的粉丝，但马修·斯塔福德拥有的武器更厉害。

Bro, you know I ain't no Josh Allen fan, but Matthew Stafford got better weapon.

泰勒·威廉姆斯。

Taylor Williams.

嘿。

Hey.

他应该被列入这个讨论。

He should be in that conversation.

什么对话？

In what conversation?

如果他

If he

他应该被包括在内。

He should be in it.

收听由Nav Green主持的《Broken Play》节目，来自Black Effect Podcast Network，可在iHeart Radio应用、Apple Podcasts或你常用的播客平台收听。

Listen to broken play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

你知道罗尔德·达尔吗？他是《查理和巧克力工厂》《玛蒂尔达》和《好心眼儿巨人》的作者。

You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought of Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG.

但你知道他也曾是一名间谍吗？

But did you know he was also a spy?

这是在他写故事之前吗？

Was this before he wrote his stories?

肯定是的。

It must have been.

我们的新播客系列《罗尔德·达尔的隐秘世界》，将带你踏上一段探索他非凡而充满争议的人生中隐藏篇章的奇妙旅程。

Our new podcast series, the secret world of Roald Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary controversial life.

他的工作 literally 是勾引有权势的美国人的妻子。

His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.

什么？

What?

而且他在这方面非常在行。

And he was really good at it.

你可能也不会相信。

You probably won't believe it either.

好吧。

Okay.

我觉得这不对。

I don't think that's true.

我跟你说真的。

I'm telling you.

我是个间谍。

I was a spy.

你知道吗？达尔曾与罗斯福家族关系密切，跟哈里·杜鲁门一起玩扑克，还与一位国会议员有过长期婚外情？

Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelts, played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman?

后来，他把才华带到了好莱坞，与沃尔特·迪士尼和阿尔弗雷德·希区柯克共事，之后还写了一部大获成功的007电影。

And then he took his talents to Hollywood where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film.

这位秘密特工是怎么变成史上最成功的儿童文学作家的？

How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?

他隐秘的过去中，有哪些黑暗元素渗透进了我们童年时读的故事里？

And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids?

这个真实的故事比他写过的任何东西都离奇。

The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote.

在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或你收听播客的任何平台，收听《罗尔德·达尔的隐秘世界》。

Listen to the secret world of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

我知道我之前说过，我们讨论过什么时候可能该把某人赶出村庄。

I know I said we talk about when it's maybe time to to kick somebody out of the village.

但在那之前，再分享一个建议，因为它和这个有关。

But before that, one more tip because it has something to do with this.

你得更多地和朋友争吵。

You gotta you gotta fight more with your friends.

我不记得我们现在是第几个建议了。

I don't know what tip we're up to.

第七个建议：你必须表达不满，要学会和朋友争吵。

Tip number seven, you have to voice frustrations, and you have to learn how to fight with your friends.

你有权利和朋友争吵。

You deserve to fight with your friends.

你值得拥有愿意为你和你争吵的朋友，因为这两者是一回事。

You deserve friends who will fight with you and for you because those are the same things.

我年轻的时候，知道很多人也和我一样。

When I was younger, I know so many people are the same.

对我来说，冲突就意味着关系的终结。

Conflict to me was like that was the end.

第一次有人提出不满时，这段友谊就结束了。

The first time somebody mentioned a grievance was the last time because the friendship was over.

但那些小小的争执、分歧，有时甚至是正面冲突，我认为在当今社会反而表明你更在乎这段关系，而不是过去那种——你表达完就完事了的态度。

But having these little arguments, disagreements, sometimes having confrontation, I think nowadays shows that you care way more than those times that you just are like you voice something and you're like, done.

这段友谊结束了。

This friendship's over.

因为当你到了那种程度，觉得‘我对此真的太沮丧了，说出口就是我最后能说的话’，因为你已经在心里抽身，不再把这段关系当回事了——那根本不是真正的友谊。

Because when you get to that point of being like, I'm so frustrated by this that saying it is the last word that I can say bef because I've already detached myself from this relationship in our mind, like, that's not real friendship.

在极度不舒服、完全不知道结果会如何的情况下与人争执，这恰恰体现了你的投入与忠诚。

Fighting with somebody when it's deeply uncomfortable and it's really you don't know how it's gonna go, that shows dedication.

我认为，这才是我们每个人都该拥有的，而不是被冷落、不是慢慢消散。

And I think that's what we all deserve versus the ghost, versus the fizzle.

我想，我之前在播客里也说过，这确实是情绪成熟的真实标志，也是我意识到自己的前额叶已经发育成熟的时刻。

I think, again, I've said this on the podcast before, it is a real sign of emotional maturity, and that is how I knew my frontal lobe had developed.

当我意识到——再次强调——如果我有问题，我发现最可能采取的解决方式就是说出来时，我就知道自己在情感上已经提升到了另一个层次。

And I had emotionally matured to another level was when I realized, like, again, if I have a problem, I I find that the solution of saying it is the one that I will most likely pursue.

这其实也是一个全新开始的机会。

It's just also, I think, the opportunity for a new beginning.

这是一种与他人建立联系的方式，我不知道该怎么形容。

And it's a way of kind of, I don't know, of relating to somebody else.

这简直像是一种 bonding 的体验。

And it's kind of like a a bonding experience.

这种转变的力量太强大了。

The shift is so powerful.

对吧？

Right?

和朋友吵架，其实是最棒的事情之一。

Like, one of the best things is having a fight with your friend.

然后三周后，你能够说：天啊。

And then three weeks later, being able to be like, oh my god.

还记得我们那次吵架吗？

Remember that fight we had?

我们就这样度过了它。

And we moved through it.

你不再把友谊中自然出现的每一件小事都当作紧急状况来对待。

And you stop treating every small thing, the things that come up naturally in friendships, like an emergency.

你不再因不安而恐慌、表演或取悦他人来逃避。

You stop panicking and performing and people pleasing your way out of the discomfort.

相反，你开始感到好奇。

And instead you get curious.

你开始把它看作一种信息，比如：好吧。

You start seeing it as information like, okay.

这里正在发生一些事情。

Something is happening here.

有些话需要说出来。

Something needs to be said.

有些事情需要改变。

Something needs to change.

冲突就是沟通。

Conflict is communication.

它让你看到关系中的界限在哪里、价值观在哪里，以及哪些需求还没有被明确表达出来。

It becomes the relationship showing you where your boundaries are, where your values are, where your needs haven't been spoken out loud yet.

这并不是关系破裂的迹象。

It's not a sign the relationship is broken.

相反，这往往是关系变得真实并迈向新阶段的标志。

It's often a sign that it's becoming real and it's developing to a new level.

我经常这么说，而且说完这点我就不再多提了，我保证。

I always say this as well, and I'm gonna stop lingering on this after this point, I promise.

但一旦你和朋友发生了第一次争吵并且挺过来了，那时你才能称他为真正的朋友。

But once you have had your first fight with a friend and you've survived that, that's when you can call them a a real friend.

我记得我和我最好的朋友之一，梅格，有过一次严重的争吵。

I remember having my first big, like, falling out fight with my one of my best friends in the world, Meg.

事后，我想：太好了。

And afterwards, I was like, cool.

所以你永远不会离开。

So you're not ever going anywhere.

因为如果我们能度过这一关，就能度过任何难关。

Because if we got through this, we can get through anything.

让我们回到我最初要说的内容。

Let's return to what I was originally saying.

你什么时候把一个人赶出村庄？

When do you kick somebody out of the village?

一段友谊在什么情况下变得太麻烦而无法维持？

When is a friendship too inconvenient to keep up?

因为总有一条界限，社会和村庄里总会有一些只想获得回报却不肯付出社会代价的搭便车者。

Because there is a line, and there's always going to be freeloaders in society and in the village who want the rewards without paying their social dues.

我知道我之前说过不要斤斤计较。

I know I said not to keep score.

我知道我听起来会像个伪君子。

I know I'm gonna sound like a hypocrite.

我知道我说过不要把友谊当成计分系统，但当你意识到‘等等’的时候，总会有一种感觉。

I know I said not to treat friendship like a point system, but there is a feeling you will get when you realize, oh, wait.

等等。

Wait.

等等。

Wait.

我才是那个真正投入的人。

I'm the I'm the one invested here.

有几个月我忙得顾不上，就放任了。

A few busy months, I let that slide.

你懂的？

You know?

我知道我也有过特别忙的时候，会说：‘对不起，姐妹们。’

I know I've had those really busy moments where I'm like, sorry, gals.

我不得不取消比参加更多的计划，因为我得工作，生活太忙了。

I've gotta cancel more plans than I can attend because I have to work and, like, life is busy.

当你当老板的时候，事情往往就是这样的。

And when you're the boss, like, that's kind of just the way it is.

我很庆幸我的朋友们能理解我这一点。

And I'm really glad my friends gave me grace for that.

生活总是很忙的。

Life gets busy.

我们都是成年人。

We're adults.

我们都明白这个道理。

We know that.

而且，每个人的能量水平都不一样。

Also, people have different energy levels.

有些人要承担照顾家人的责任。

People have caring responsibilities.

有些人有健康问题。

People have health problems.

了解你朋友的这一点也很重要。

Also important to know that about your friends.

但关键在于，当你发现自己在为他们做些他们永远不会为你做的事时，或者更具体地说，他们曾经有机会为你做这些事，却从未行动过。

But it's when, and this is the distinction, when you find yourself doing things for them they would never do for you, or specifically, they have had the chance to do that for you and they haven't.

这时并不意味着要立刻切断关系，而是要进行沟通，明确期望。

It's not about cutting them off at that point, but having that conversation, setting expectations.

每个人都有可能无意中忽视。

Everyone can be unaware.

每个人都会经历艰难的时期。

Everyone can have a rough season.

但如果你已经表达过自己感到被忽视，或者需要更多付出，而他们却需要做出改变时，要么轻视你，要么让你内疚，要么承诺一定会改却从不行动，一再重复同样的行为，那就不是误解了。

But if you have expressed that you feel taken for granted or that you need more effort, they need to make plans, and they either dismiss you, guilt you, promise they chain to change, and then they never do repeat the same behavior, that's not a misunderstanding.

你已经表达得很清楚了。

You have been understood.

这已经是一种模式了。

That is a pattern.

而模式决定结果，而不是潜力。

And patterns are what decide outcomes, not potential.

正如我所说，你想要一个社群吗？

Like I said, you want a village?

学会如何应对这些艰难的对话。

Learn how to approach these hard conversations.

同时也要明白，这未必就是终点。

And also learn that this maybe not isn't necessarily the end.

这可能只是你们友谊进入新运作方式的开端。

It might just be the beginning of a new way your friendship operates.

但如果他们做了你绝不会对任何人——哪怕是陌生人，甚至是敌人——做的事，那并不是这个人不值得拥有一个社群。

But if they do something that you would never imagine doing to someone, to them, to a stranger, even to an enemy, it's not that this person doesn't deserve a village.

而是他们不配进入你的社群。

They just don't deserve to be in yours.

你的社群是有标准的。

Your village has standards.

而且，我们再次强调，这里讨论的不是轻微的不便。

And we're, again, not talking about mild inconveniences.

我们谈论的不是那些我们感到抱歉的事情，而是显示出价值观差异的行为。

We're not talking about things we're apologetic for, but things that show a value mismatch.

你有权利说：这不是我们社群所做的事情。

You're allowed to say this is not what our village does.

我不能让你继续留在这里。

I can't have you here.

背叛伴侣、伤害他人、背叛他人、撒谎。

Cheating on a partner, hurting somebody else, betraying somebody else, lying.

一个社群是建立在价值观之上的。

A village runs on values.

你个人希望在他人身上看到哪些价值观，而你自己又承诺展现出哪些？

What ones do you personally wanna see in others that you are committing to displaying yourself?

最后，我认为友谊走得太远的最终标准是：当这段关系带来的压力超过了安全感时。

Finally, the final criteria, I think, that a friendship has has gone too far, it's too too inconvenient is when it creates more stress than safety.

如果你以前经历过这种情况，你就会有这种感觉，你明白的。

And that's a feeling that you will if you've ever been in this situation before, you understand.

不是每段友谊都需要很深，但至少需要稳定。

Not every friendship needs to be deep, but it at least needs to be stable.

如果和朋友相处让你感到要为糟糕的情绪做准备，控制他们的反应，预判他们的冷暴力，小心翼翼如履薄冰，如果这种相处让你在情感和心灵上感到精疲力尽，那它就不再是关于陪伴了。

If spending time with a friend feels like bracing for a terrible mood, managing their reactions, anticipating passive aggression, walking on eggshells, if it feels exhausting in, like, an emotional, soulful way, it stops being about companionship.

我认为这变成了一种你一直在调节他们情绪的状态，而这非常耗竭。

I think it becomes a form of like, you're regulating them, and that is exhausting.

如果你发现自己在回避这些场合，当他们取消计划时反而感到特别开心，那就是最明显的信号。

And if you find yourself avoiding situations, being really excited when they cancel plans, that is the biggest one.

一旦你因为有人取消计划而感到兴奋，我认为你就该把他们重新定位在你友谊版图的其他位置了。

The moment you feel excited that somebody has canceled a plan, I think you need to place them elsewhere in your friend universe.

我在我的书里写过这一点。

And I I wrote about this in my book.

你的友谊版图包含三个圈子。

Your friendship universe has three circles.

最内圈是好的朋友，第二圈，第三圈。

The inner circle, the good like, the the second circle, the third circle.

一个人在哪个圈子里，基本上决定了你们关系的性质。

Where someone sits in that circle determines essentially the nature of your relationship.

在中心圈里，如果有人取消计划，你绝不应该感到高兴。

The center of the circle, you should never be excited if somebody at the center of the circle cancels plans.

在中心圈里，如果他们无法出席，你绝不应该感到兴奋。

Center of a circle, you should never be excited if they can't make it.

第三圈里，你的期望会有些不同。

Third circle, your expectations are a little bit different.

他们仍然在你的社交星系里。

They're still in they're still in the galaxy.

但他们不需要成为最重要的优先事项。

They just don't have to be a huge priority.

你不必放弃一个朋友。

You don't have to drop a friend.

调整你的期望。

Shift your expectations.

调整他们在友谊星系中的位置。

Shift their place in the friendship galaxy.

在我们结束之前，最后提醒一下。

Some final reminders before we go.

还要记住，我觉得我还没充分谈到这一点：如果你还没有一个社群，如果感觉你永远都不会拥有，那建立一个社群是需要时间的。

Remember as well, I don't think I've spoken about this enough, but a village takes time if you don't have it yet, if it feels like you'll never have it.

我必须提醒你，每一个现在拥有社群的人，都曾经一度没有，也曾一度觉得自己永远不会拥有。

I have to remind you, everyone who has a village now at some point didn't have one and at some stage felt like they would never have it.

有时候，为了迎来新的，你也必须摧毁旧的。

Sometimes you have to destroy the old for the new as well.

你知道吗，我以为我在大学时已经有了一个社群。

You know, I thought I had a village at university.

其实没有。

I didn't.

我当时紧紧抓住那些人，试图拉他们参与我喜爱的活动和交往方式，但他们根本不会喜欢。

And I was clinging to those people and trying to drag them into activities and into ways of engaging that I knew I enjoyed, but they weren't ever going to.

这让我对自己感觉非常糟糕。当我离开那个环境，给自己空间和时间去思考我真正想要的友谊时——就像我思考恋爱和韩国时那样——我很容易就把自己抽离出来，明白过来：也许我想要的社群并不共享同样的价值观。

And it just made me feel terrible about myself When I got out of that environment, when I gave myself space and time to just think about what I wanted in friendship, you know, the way I thought about what I wanted in dating and Korea, it was very easy to separate myself and to understand that, you know, again, maybe the village I wanted didn't share the same values.

同样，请确保你仍然为自己留出时间。

Similarly, like, make sure you still have time for yourself.

我知道我非常强调在界限上识别自私、不滥用‘太累了’这个借口，但社交倦怠依然是真实的，尤其是当你正在适应一种新的相处方式时。

I know I place this big emphasis on, like, recognizing selfishness in boundaries clothing and not overusing the too tired excuse, but social burnout is still real, especially if you're adapting to a new way of showing up.

我给自己定的准则始终是每周留出一天半到一整天的独处时间，是滋养型的独处，以确保我也在为自己充电。

My guideline for myself is always a day and a half or a day of alone time per week, nourishing alone time, just to make sure I'm not I'm, you know, I'm pouring into my own cup as well.

我想成为一个好的社群成员。

I wanna be a good villager.

一个好村民要有耐心、有时间、有精力去做这些事。

A good villager has the patience and and the time and the energy to do that.

但我们都在不断学习中。

But we're all still learning.

你知道，我们都在学习如何找到自己的平衡。

You know, we're all still learning our balances.

我认为，接受朋友的反馈是你必须保持开放的心态。

And I think getting corrections from friends is something you have to be open to.

你也需要敞开心扉去给予反馈，对他人保持耐心和宽容。

You also have to be open to to doing that as well and just having patience and forgiveness for people.

我真的认为，我们更需要的是这些。

I really think that's what we need more of.

如果你坚持听到了这里，非常感谢你的聆听。

Thank you so much for listening if you have made it this far.

如果你是在Spotify上收听，请在下方留言。

If you are listening on Spotify, leave a comment down below.

你有哪些成为好村民的建议，是我还没提到的？

What are your tips for being a a good villager that maybe I haven't included?

我非常期待听到你的想法。

I would love to hear from you.

请确保你已经在Instagram和TikTok上关注我们。

Make sure you are following us on Instagram, TikTok.

记住，如果你在听这个播客，我们现在也在Netflix上上线了，如果你想观看，能获得更亲密的体验。

Remember, if you are listening to the podcast, we are now on Netflix, if you wanna go and watch over there to get an even more intimate feeling.

但我非常感谢你对这个话题的兴趣。

But I appreciate your interest in this topic.

感谢你和我一样对这个话题如此着迷。

I appreciate you being as fascinated by this as I am.

下次再见，保重，善良，对自己温柔一点。

Until next time, be safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself.

祝你在村庄里一切顺利。

Good luck with the village.

祝你当个好村民一切顺利。

Good luck being a villager.

我们很快就会再聊。

We will talk very, very soon.

半夜里，萨斯娅在迷迷糊糊中醒了过来。

In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze.

她的丈夫迈克正在用笔记本电脑。

Her husband, Mike, was on his laptop.

屏幕上显示的内容将永远改变萨斯娅的人生。

What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever.

我说，你必须告诉我

I said, I need you to tell

你到底在做什么。

me exactly what you're doing.

那一刻，面具立刻脱落了。

And immediately, the mask came off.

你本该是安全的。

You're supposed to be safe.

那是你的家。

That's your home.

那是你丈夫。

That's your husband.

为了保守这个秘密这么多年，他简直像个老手。

To keep this secret, for so many years, he's like a seasoned pro.

这是一个关于婚姻终结的故事。

This is a story about the end of a marriage.

但这也是一个女人决定不再活在黑暗中的故事。

But it's also the story of one woman who was done living in the dark.

你是一个危险的人，专门欺骗那些脆弱而信任他人的人。

You're a dangerous person who preys on vulnerable and trusting people.

你是个掠食者，迈克尔·莱文古德。

You're a predator, Michael Levingood.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您常用的播客平台收听《背叛》第五季。

Listen to Betrayal season five on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

如果思想控制是真实的呢？

What if mind control is real?

如果你能控制身边任何人的行为，你会想要什么样的妻子？

If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of wife would you have?

你能通过催眠让人去买一辆车吗？

Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?

当你看着你的车时，

When you look at your car,

你会被一种极好的感觉淹没。

you're gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.

你能催眠某人，让他们和你发生关系吗？

Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?

我给了她一些建议，让她产生性冲动。

I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.

你能让人加入你的邪教吗？

Can you get someone to join your cult?

有人用神经语言程序学（NLP）操控我，以接触我的潜意识。

NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.

NLP，即神经语言程序设计，是催眠、语言学和心理学的结合。

NLP, aka neuro linguistic programming, is a blend of hypnosis, linguistics, and psychology.

粉丝们说，这就像终于拿到了大脑的用户手册。

Fans say it's like finally getting a user manual for your brain.

这是关于意识工程的。

It's about engineering consciousness.

《思维游戏》讲述了NLP的故事。

Mind Games is the story of NLP.

它讲述了一群狂热的追随者，以及那位在新时代公社发明NLP并将其卖给西装革履人士的假医生。

It's crazy cast of disciples and the fake doctor who invented it at a new age commune and sold it to guys in suits.

他曾因谋杀受审，但最终被判无罪。

He stood trial for murder and got acquitted.

最大的思维游戏是什么？

The biggest mind game of all?

NLP可能真的有效。

NLP might actually work.

这太疯狂了。

This is wild.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《Mind Games》。

Listen to mind games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

本节目包含的信息包括但不限于个人见解、传闻、不太准确的数据以及其他更多内容。

This show contains information subject to but not limited to personal takes, rumors, not so accurate stats, and plenty more.

嘿，老兄，最近怎么样？

What's up, man?

是你老朋友 Nav Green，来自《Broken Play》播客。

It's your boy, Nav Green from the Broken Play podcast.

看。

Look.

赛季结束了。

It's the end of the season.

季后赛来了。

The playoffs are here.

但你猜怎么着？

But guess what?

你的赛季还没结束呢。

It ain't the end of your season.

你随时可以收听Black Effect Podcast Network上的Broken Play播客，由Nav Green主持。

You can always tune in with Broken Play podcast with Nav Green on the Black Effect Podcast Network.

另一支无缘季后赛的球队。

Another team who ain't going to the playoffs.

酋长队。

The Chiefs.

哦，这真是

Oh, it's

结束了。

a wrap.

是时候重建了。

It's time to rebuild.

那你现在觉得谁是MVP？

Who your MVP right now then?

德雷克·梅伊就在那里。

Drake May up there.

乔什·艾伦也还在那里。

Josh Allen up there still.

哦，我的兄弟，马修·斯塔福德。

Oh, my boy, Matthew Stafford.

科尔·尼克斯怎么样？

Did Cole Nix at?

他也没落后太多。

He ain't too far behind.

说了这么多话。

Did all this talking.

马修·斯塔福德目前的数据表现，老兄，简直疯狂。

And what Matthew Stafford is doing statistically, bro, is crazy.

兄弟，你

Bro, you

我知道我不是乔什·艾伦的粉丝，但马修·斯塔福德的武器更强。

know I ain't no Josh Allen fan, but Matthew Stafford got better weapon.

泰勒·威廉姆斯。

Taylor Williams.

嘿。

Hey.

他应该被列入这个讨论。

He should be in that conversation.

什么讨论？

In what conversation?

如果他

If he

能的话，他应该在其中。

could He should be in it.

在iHeartRadio应用上收听来自Black Effect Podcast Network的《Broken Play》与Nav Green的节目。

Listen to Broken Play with Nav Green from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app.

或者通过Apple Podcasts或其他你常用的播客平台收听。

Apple Podcasts or whatever you get your podcast.

你知道罗尔德·达尔吗？他是《查理和巧克力工厂》《玛蒂尔达》和《好心眼儿巨人》的作者。

You know Roald Dahl, the writer who thought of Willy Wonka, Matilda, and the BFG.

但你知道他曾经也是一名间谍吗？

But did you know he was also a spy?

这是在他写故事之前吗？

Was this before he wrote his stories?

肯定是的。

It must have been.

我们的新播客系列《罗尔德·达尔的隐秘世界》，将带你踏上一段探索他非凡而争议人生的隐秘篇章的奇妙旅程。

Our new podcast series, the secret world of Roald Dahl, is a wild journey through the hidden chapters of his extraordinary controversial life.

他的任务就是勾引那些有权势的美国人的妻子。

His job was literally to seduce the wives of powerful Americans.

什么？

What?

而且他在这方面非常在行。

And he was really good at it.

你可能也不会相信。

You probably won't believe it either.

好吧。

Okay.

我觉得这不对。

I don't think that's true.

我告诉你是因为我曾经是个间谍。

I'm telling you because I was a spy.

你知道吗，达尔曾与罗斯福家族关系密切，跟哈里·杜鲁门一起玩扑克，还与一位国会议员有过长期恋情？

Did you know Dahl got cozy with the Roosevelts, played poker with Harry Truman, and had a long affair with a congresswoman?

之后，他把才能带到了好莱坞，与沃尔特·迪士尼和阿尔弗雷德·希区柯克合作，后来还写了一部成功的007电影。

And then he took his talents to Hollywood where he worked alongside Walt Disney and Alfred Hitchcock before writing a hit James Bond film.

这位秘密特工是如何成为有史以来最成功的儿童文学作家的？

How did this secret agent wind up as the most successful children's author ever?

他隐秘的过去中，有哪些黑暗元素渗透进了我们童年时读的故事里？

And what darkness from his covert past seeped into the stories we read as kids?

这个真实的故事比他写过的任何情节都离奇。

The true story is stranger than anything he ever wrote.

请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听罗尔德·达尔的秘密人生。

Listen to the secret world of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

半夜里，萨斯琪在迷迷糊糊中醒了过来。

In the middle of the night, Saskia awoke in a haze.

她的丈夫迈克正对着笔记本电脑。

Her husband Mike was on his laptop.

他屏幕上的内容将永远改变萨斯琪的人生。

What was on his screen would change Saskia's life forever.

我说过，我要你立刻告诉我你在做什么，那一刻面具就掉了下来。

I said I need you to tell me exactly what you're doing and immediately the mask came off.

你本该是安全的。

You're supposed to be safe.

那是你的家。

That's your home.

那是你的丈夫。

That's your husband.

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《背叛》第五季。

Listen to betrayal season five on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

黑人历史存在于我们的故事、文化以及我们至今仍在进行的对话中。

Black history lives in our stories, our culture, and the conversations we still having today.

我并不知道。

I didn't know

今年黑人历史月，播客《我并不知道》——也许你也不知道——深入挖掘那些从未出现在教科书中的时刻、观点和经历。

This black history month, the podcast I didn't know, maybe you didn't either, digs into the moments, perspectives, and experiences that don't always make the textbook.

让我告诉你关于加勒特·摩根的故事。

Let me tell you about Garrett Morgan.

这家伙为了卖出自己的发明，竟然得假装自己根本不存在。

Bruh had to pretend he didn't even exist just to sell his own invention.

收听《我都不知道》这个节目。

Listen to I didn't know.

也许你也不知道，来自黑人影响播客网络，在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcast，或你常用的任何播客平台收听。

Maybe you didn't either from the Black Effect Podcast Network, on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or simply wherever you get your podcast.

如果心灵控制是真实的呢？

What if mind control is real?

如果你能控制身边任何人的行为，你会过上怎样的生活？

If you could control the behavior of anybody around you, what kind of life would you have?

你能通过催眠说服一个人买一辆车吗？

Can you hypnotically persuade someone to buy a car?

当你看着你的

When you look at your

车时，你会被一种极佳的感觉淹没。

car, you're gonna become overwhelmed with such good feelings.

你能催眠某人和你发生关系吗？

Can you hypnotize someone into sleeping with you?

我给了她一些建议，让她产生性兴奋。

I gave her some suggestions to be sexually aroused.

你能让人加入你的邪教吗？

Can you get someone to join your cult?

有人用神经语言程序学（NLP）来接触我的潜意识。

NLP was used on me to access my subconscious.

《心灵游戏》，一档探索神经语言程序学（NLP）的新播客。

Mind Games, a new podcast exploring NLP, aka, neurolinguistic programming.

这是一种自助奇迹，还是一个可疑的催眠骗局？或者两者都是？

Is it a self help miracle, a shady hypnosis scam, or both?

在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple Podcasts 或你收听播客的任何平台收听《心灵游戏》。

Listen to Mind Games on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

你有没有想过，天啊。

Have you ever thought, wow.