本集简介
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我是南希·格拉斯，《罪恶重负》第二季播客的主持人。
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season two Podcast.
这是一个关于一个可怕的谎言摧毁了两个家庭的故事。
This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
在一个深夜，鲍比·甘普赖特成为了一起随机犯罪的受害者。
Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime.
行凶者被判处了九十九年监禁，直到一份供述改变了这一切。
The perpetrator was sentenced to ninety nine years until a confession changed everything.
我是个怪物。
I was a monster.
请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您常用的播客平台收听《罪恶重负》第二季。
Listen to Burden of Guilt season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是阿曼达·诺克斯。
I'm Amanda Knox.
而且在
And in
这个新的播客《露西·莱特比案》将剖析2023年震惊英国的一场难以想象的悲剧。
the new podcast, The Case of Lucy Letby, we unpack the story of an unimaginable tragedy that gripped The UK in 2023.
但如果我们没有听到完整的故事呢？
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
证据的收集速度太快了。
The evidence has been made so fast.
当你一看见
The moment you look at the
整个画面，这个案子就崩塌了。
whole picture, the case collapsed.
如果真相被我们选择相信的故事掩盖了呢？
What if the truth was disguised by a story we chose to believe?
天啊。
Oh my god.
我觉得她可能是无辜的。
I think she might be innocent.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您常用的播客平台收听《怀疑：露西·莱特比案》。
Listen to Doubt, the case of Lucy Letby on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是特别探员里格尔，特别探员布拉德利·霍尔。
This is special agent Regal, special agent Bradley Hall.
2018年，联邦调查局捣毁了一个为中国国家安全部工作的间谍网络，这是世界上最神秘的情报机构之一。
2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working for China's Ministry of State Security, one of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world.
《第六局》播客讲述的是国家安全部内部运作的故事，以及一个人的野心与失误如何揭开了其秘密宝库。
The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您常用的播客平台收听《第六局》。
Listen to the Sixth Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是克莱顿·内卡德。
I'm Clayton Neckard.
2022年，我担任ABC电视台《单身汉》节目的主角。
In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
但关键是。
But here's the thing.
《单身汉》的粉丝讨厌他。
Bachelor fans hated him.
如果我能按下一个按钮
If I could press a button
把一切重来，我会这么做。
and rewind it all, I would.
就在那时，他的生活发生了令人不安的转变。
That's when his life took a disturbing turn.
一夜情最终走向了法庭。
A one night stand would end in a courtroom.
媒体都来了。
The media is here.
这个案子已经爆红了。
This case has gone viral.
约会合同。
The dating contract.
同意和我约会，但我同时在起诉你。
Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you.
这我真是从未见过。
This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
我是斯蒂芬妮·杨。
I'm Stephanie Young.
请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的播客平台收听《 Loved Trapped》。
Listen to Loved Trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嗨。
Hey.
我是杰伊·沙蒂，《On Purpose》播客的主持人。
I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose Podcast.
今天我邀请到了卢克·康布斯，这位获奖的乡村音乐艺人，是当今乐坛最真实的声音之一。
I'm joined by Luke Combs, award winning country music artist and one of the most authentic voices in music today.
那个总说会永远在你身边、愿意为你做任何事的人，恰恰是那个根本不在的人。
The guy that says he's always gonna be there and that will do anything to be there is the only guy that's not there.
无论如何，我都会把妻子和孩子放在首位。
No matter what, I'm gonna prioritize my wife and my children.
我害怕和儿子的那场对话。
I dread the conversation with my son.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您收听播客的任何平台收听杰伊·谢蒂的《有目的》。
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
我是杰玛·斯派克，欢迎回到《二十岁的心理学》，这档播客我们将探讨二十岁期间最重要的变化、时刻与转折，以及它们对我们的心理意味着什么。
I'm Gemma Spike, and welcome back to the psychology of your twenties, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties, and what they mean for our psychology.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
欢迎回到节目。
Welcome back to the show.
欢迎回到播客。
Welcome back to the podcast.
很高兴你们再次回到这里，继续今天我们对二十岁心理学的深入剖析。
It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our twenties today.
我为你们准备了一个非常有趣且富有科学性的内容。
I have something really fun and scientific for you guys.
如果你最喜欢的播客集数是我们深入探讨概念和研究的那些，那你一定会爱上今天的主题。
So if your favorite episodes of the podcast are when we kind of go deep into concepts and deep into research, you are going to love today's topic.
即使你不是，我也认为这一集你绝对应该听，因为它会告诉你很多关于你自身运作方式、行为模式和决策过程的信息，解释你为何会做出一些明明理性上并不想做的决定。
And even if you don't, I still think this is one of those ones you should definitely listen to because it will tell you so much about how you operate, your behaviors, your decision making, why you make decisions that you don't always actually want to make rationally.
因为今天我们要讨论的是意识与潜意识，以及它们各自在我们生活中的作用，为什么我们——是的——会做出一些感觉荒谬、难以合理解释的决定。
Because today we are talking about the conscious versus unconscious mind and the role each of them plays in our lives and why we kind of, again, yeah, make decisions that feel bizarre and hard to justify.
为什么我们会突然产生一些反应，却依然不断重复这些行为，却始终无法弄清楚如何改变。
Why we have these reactions that come out of nowhere and yet we still keep doing them, and we can't quite figure out how to change.
这就是潜意识。
This is the unconscious mind.
今天我们将深入探讨这一部分：我们存在的方式，以及我们如何解读世界。
This is the part of our existence and how we interpret the world we're going to really drill into today.
我们身上存在一些不受我们理性控制的部分，这个观点并不新鲜。
The idea that there are parts of us operating outside of our deliberate rational control is not a new idea.
随着时间的推移，我们对这一现象的解释方式发生了变化。
What's just changed over time and over the years is how we explain it.
在讨论潜意识与意识之前，我们先来做一点历史回顾。
And we cannot talk about the unconscious versus conscious mind without doing a little bit of a history lesson first.
在我们今天常使用的‘潜意识’、‘意识’、‘下意识’这些词出现之前，许多杰出的古代思想家就已经在描述类似的概念了。
So long before we had these words that I think we use so often these days, unconscious conscious, subconscious, a lot of brilliant ancient thinkers were describing basically the same thing.
这种感觉——人类在理性认知与情感行为之间存在分裂——由来已久。
This feeling that we as humans are split between what we know rationally and how we choose to behave emotionally.
这可以追溯到柏拉图、亚里士多德和斯宾诺莎，他们基本上区分了所谓的直觉性情感或欲望，以及另一方面理性的深思熟虑。
This goes like all the way back to like Plato and Aristotle and Spinoza who basically distinguish between what they called intuitive passions or appetites And then on the other hand, deliberate reason.
比如柏拉图，我喜欢这个比喻。
Plato, for example, I like this metaphor.
他把人类的灵魂描述为由三个部分组成。
He described the human soul as having three parts.
他将这描述为，我们坐在一辆马车后面，马车代表我们自身，代表我们的理性。
And he kind of described it as if we are sitting behind a chariot and the chariot represents us and represents our reason.
我们以为自己才是驾驭马车的人。
And we think we're the ones that are guiding it.
但真正引导马车的，其实是这两匹马。
But really what's guiding the chariot are these two horses.
在他看来，是这两匹带翼的马在引导我们。
We're guided by these two, in his mind, two winged horses.
一匹象征着高贵。
One represented nobility.
它代表我们的情感与社会认知，以及我们追求善良、理性与合乎逻辑的愿望。
It represented our emotional and social knowledge and our desire to be good and to be reasonable and rational.
而另一匹马则代表我们狂野的一面。
And then the other horse represented like our wild side.
它象征着我们的欲望，以及灵魂中那些无拘无束的部分。
Like, it represented our desire and the appetite of like the unbounded parts of the soul.
这非常早地展现了我们如今如何看待理性思维，以及如何看待我们的冲动、情绪，或者说信念或社会行为，它们各自将我们引向不同的方向。
That is a very early representation of how we might now view our rational mind and how we might also view our impulses and emotions or our, I guess, beliefs or our social behavior, each of them leading us in different directions.
如果这让你联想到弗洛伊德关于自我、超我与本我的概念，那是因为确实如此。
If this sounds familiar to Freud's idea of the ego, and the superego, and the id, it's because it is.
弗洛伊德的许多思想都源于柏拉图和这些古代思想家。
Freud took a lot of his ideas from Plato and some of these ancient thinkers.
他无疑是历史上最著名的精神分析学家之一。
He is obviously one of the most famous psychoanalysts of all time.
而且，是的，他的许多工作和理论基础都建立在这些隐喻之上。
And, yeah, he based a lot of his work and the foundation of a lot of his theories on some of these metaphors.
他基本上采纳了这些最初的想法，并试图进一步完善和扩展它们。
And he kind of took those initial ideas and tried to format them or flesh them out even more.
在他看来，心灵被划分为三个部分。
And in his mind, the mind is divided into three parts.
意识心智。
The conscious mind.
你现在所意识到的，比如我正坐在这间房间里，环顾四周，面前有一个麦克风。
So what you're aware of right now, you know, I'm sitting in this room, I'm looking around, there's a microphone in front of me.
我正在录制我的播客，我的前意识层面，那些只是潜伏在下方、我想谈论的内容、这个想法将走向何方、我接下来要做什么，以及我今天早些时候经历的事情如何影响了我的情绪。
I'm recording my podcast, my preconscious mind, things that are kind of just sitting below that I want to talk about, where this idea is going, what I have to do next, how my mood is being impacted by things that happened earlier this morning.
然后是无意识层面。
And then the unconscious mind.
对他而言，这些内容被排除在意识之外，却仍在影响着你。
Material that to him is kept out of awareness, but is still influencing you.
所以你可能在心理学入门课程中见过这种表现方式，比如用冰山来表示。
So you may have seen this, especially in like psych 101 classes, represented as an iceberg.
这是一种非常经典的表达方式。
That's a pretty classic way of representing it.
我至今仍记得心理学教材里那个冰山图示，但所有这些层面——意识、前意识和无意识——共同作用，塑造了我们所认识的自己。
I still remember having that iceberg diagram in my psych textbooks, but all of these things, the conscious, subconscious or preconscious and unconscious all kind of work together to form the person that we know as ourselves.
不过，弗洛伊德特别强调了梦境的作用，认为梦境能帮助我们理解无意识层面在表面之下究竟在做什么。
One thing Freud really emphasized, though, was the role of dreams in being able to basically understand what the what the unconscious mind is doing below the surface.
所以在他的观点中，我们永远无法直接了解自己潜意识中正在发生什么。
So in his mind, like, we could never directly know what's happening unconsciously in our mind.
他基本上认为，梦境是真正理解潜意识活动的少数途径之一。
He basically said that dreams are one of the only ways of really being able to understand what's going on.
他为此写了一整本书。
He wrote a whole book about it.
这本书就叫《梦的解析》。
It's literally called The Interpretation of Dreams.
他还声称，我们的梦境实现了我们潜意识中的愿望。
He also claimed that, you know, our dreams fulfilled our unconscious wishes.
比如，你渴望成名，你的梦境可能会向你揭示该如何实现这一点。
So like, you want to be famous, your dream may your dreams may reveal to you how you should do that.
或者，如果你感到内疚，你的梦境可能会向你揭示你其实并没有错，或者你应该如何原谅自己。
Or, you know, if you feel guilty, your dreams may reveal to you how you're not, or how you should forgive yourself.
他还说，梦境揭示了我们最渴望的东西，或者最恐惧的东西。
He also says they reveal what we desire most, or what we fear the most.
他还提到，我们接触潜意识的其他方式包括著名的弗洛伊德口误、艺术作品和压抑的记忆。
Some other ways that he said we could get in touch with the unconscious mind were the famous Freudian slip, artwork, repressed memories.
如今，我们知道这些观点很可能并不准确。
These days, we know that's all probably less than accurate.
或许其中有些许道理，比如梦境确实有助于缓解一些深层的情感创伤，但弗洛伊德在很多方面都错了。
There may be some slight truth to it, some slight truth to our dreams, kind of working out some deep emotional wounds, but Freud did get a lot of stuff wrong.
我认为他在当时条件下已经尽力了，但他仍然是一个颇具争议的人物。现在正是一个很好的时机，让我们转变话题，谈谈现代科技和更严谨的科学实验方法让我们对潜意识和意识有了哪些新的认识。
I think he did the best that he could with what he had, but he is still a controversial figure, and this is a great place to kind of shift gears and talk about what we know about the unconscious and conscious mind now, in the modern day, with a bit more technology, with a bit more scientific experimental practice going on.
简单来说，在心理学术语中，意识是指那些你可以有意识地控制的心理过程。
Pretty simply, the conscious mind in psychological terms is the set of mental processes that you can deliberately direct.
你可以觉察到的内容、可以进行推理的内容、可以谈论的内容、可以看见的内容。
What you can hold in awareness, what you can reason about, what you can talk about, what you can see.
关于意识的一个关键点是，它相对缓慢。
The big thing about the conscious mind, sorry, is that it's relatively slow.
它非常有目的性，需要付出努力。
It's very intentional, effortful.
它的容量也相当有限。
It's kind of limited in its capacity as well.
例如，你真的无法在任何时刻在意识中同时处理超过两三件事。
So for example, you can't, you really can't juggle more than a couple of things in your conscious mind at any one time.
这就是我们不擅长多任务处理的原因。
It's why we're bad at multitasking.
这就是我们容易精神超载的原因。
It's why we get mentally overwhelmed.
这就是为什么当你周围事情太多时，会不由自主地说出一些其实并不真心的话。
It's why you say things automatically you don't really mean when a lot's going on around you.
我喜欢把你的意识思维看作是代言人。
I like to think of your conscious mind as like the spokesperson.
它就像是公司推到镜头前的人，只是在朗读潜意识交给它的脚本。
It is the person that like the company puts in front of the cameras, is like reading off the script that the unconscious mind has given it.
或者更准确地说，它是在把潜意识提供的几个要点整合成一篇演讲。
Or it's kind of more like it's putting together a speech from a bunch of dot points that the unconscious mind has given it.
它拥有一些决策权，能够引导少量信息，确实会运用大量理性来解读无意识思维传递给它的那些细微内容。
It has some decision making powers, it directs a small amount of information, It definitely applies a lot of reason and interprets the small things that the unconscious mind gives it.
但除了引导冲动和引导你周围的事务之外，你的意识也无法完全察觉到所有事情。
But beyond like directing impulses and directing things around you, it also doesn't completely your conscious mind cannot be aware of absolutely everything.
它的职责仅仅是根据所能接触到的信息，构建出你是谁的故事。
It's just responsible for constructing the story of who you are based on what it has access to.
简单来说，它为你解读人类体验，但它对大脑后台运作的很多事情并不总是能完全掌握。
Just basically, it interprets your human experience for you, but it doesn't always have a good grip on everything that's going on in kind of the back offices of the mind.
对吧？
Right?
再想想这个代言人或首席执行官的类比。
Again, think of this spokesperson or CEO analogy.
让我们用首席执行官的类比吧。
Let's let's use the the CEO analogy.
首席执行官可能站在台前，但如果没有那些她自己根本无法完成所有工作的员工，她什么都不是。
The CEO may be upfront, but she is like nothing without the staff whose jobs she can't possibly do all by herself.
她不可能时刻了解后台发生的所有事情。
And she can't possibly be aware of everything that's going on in the back offices all the time.
那就是潜意识。
That's the unconscious mind.
意识只是前台的代表。
The conscious mind is just the front man.
幕后发生了大量事情。
There's a lot going on behind the scenes.
潜意识负责的一个关键方面是快速评估，而我们的意识根本来不及处理这些。
One key aspect that the unconscious mind is responsible for is rapid evaluation that our conscious mind just isn't quick enough for.
比如，某事物是好是坏，是安全还是危险，是该接近还是回避，遇到危险时该如何反应。
You know, whether something is good or bad, whether something is safe or unsafe, whether to approach or avoid, how to react in a situation of danger.
在你有意识地决定对某种情境、甚至对某人的语气、外表或存在感有何感受之前，你的身体往往已经知道了。
Before you consciously decide how you feel about a situation or even about someone's tone or their physicality or their presence, your body often already knows.
自动评估帮助我们在社交和物理环境中迅速做出反应。
Automatic evaluations, they are what help us really move quickly in social and physical environments.
你知道，比如你遇到一个人，立刻感到不安，却说不清原因，那就是你的潜意识在起作用。
You know, for example, if you meet somebody and you instantly feel uneasy, but you can't explain why, that's your unconscious mind.
你的大脑已经捕捉到了一些细微的线索，比如微表情，或者对方言语和语调之间的不一致，而你并没有有意识地注意到。
Like, your mind has picked up on subtle cues like micro expressions or mismatch between their words and their tone without conscious awareness.
就像那种直觉上的感觉，对吧？
It's like that feeling in your gut, right?
有趣的是，实际上，对很多人来说这可能并不意外，但女性在这方面更擅长。
Interestingly, actually, maybe not a surprising fact for many people, but, women are better at this.
女性更能无意识地捕捉到这些微表情。
Women are better at unconsciously picking up on these micro expressions.
2020年有一项研究，给参与者看了大量人物肖像，这些肖像中的人要么露出真诚的微笑，要么是不真诚的微笑。
There was a study in 2020 that basically gave participants a bunch of portraits of people, either with an authentic or an authentic, non authentic smile.
女性能非常迅速且准确地分辨出这种区别。
Women were picking up on that incredibly quickly, and with much higher accuracy.
这是因为你的潜意识还总是持续地在思考：接下来我们要做什么？
This is because your unconscious mind is also responsible for always kind of having this idea of like, what are we going to do next?
或者说是行动准备。
Or action preparation.
我。
I.
E。
E.
如果这个人有危险，它会在你意识到之前就知道你接下来会做什么。
If this person is dangerous, it knows what you're immediately going to do before you even know about it.
它还负责联想学习，对吧？
It's also responsible for associative learning, right?
就是那个研究，对吧？那些女性能判断出人们的笑容是否不真诚，你的无意识肯定已经记住了过去类似的经历——你曾经信任过某人，他们的笑容就像那个人，结果却被背叛了。
That study, right, where these women could tell if people were inauthentic and the smile was not to be trusted, definitely your unconscious mind has picked up on times in the past where that's probably happened, where you've trusted somebody and they had a smile like that person and then they betrayed you.
或者你曾经信任过某人，他们的笑容就像那个人一样真诚，结果却成了很好的朋友。
Or you've trusted somebody and they've had an authentic smile like that person and they've ended up being a great friend.
实际上，这是一种身体化的反应。
Really, it's this embodied reaction.
我们常常将这种反应称为直觉，它源于所有过去的经历、童年的创伤以及那些以某种形式 lingering 下来的被遗忘的记忆，通常通过自动行为表现出来。
We often label it as a gut reaction that comes from all these past experiences, childhood hurt, memories we've forgotten about that have lingered on in some form or another, often through automatic behaviors.
而有时候，这种反应是非常出色的，对吧？
And sometimes this is amazing, right?
直觉反应非常有帮助。
Intuitive reactions are really helpful.
懂得如何追随你的直觉是一种了不起的人类能力，但另一些时候，这种反应可能会严重出错。
Knowing how to follow your intuition is an amazing human ability, but other times this reaction can be really faulty.
它可能通过偏见和恐惧被编码，导致我们常常以奇怪的自我破坏方式做出反应，或做出我们并不真正想要的反应，因为我们的意识并没有同意这些行为。
It can be encoded through bias and through fear so that you know, we often do respond in weird self sabotaging ways or in a way that we don't really want to because our conscious mind didn't sign off on it.
而这就是无意识心智——或者说这一理论认为——无意识心智还负责并参与的最后一件事：你的习惯和情境触发的行为。
And that's the final thing the unconscious mind or the theory say the unconscious mind is also really responsible for and plays a role in is your habits and your context triggered behaviour.
习惯不仅仅是重复的行为，它们是线索、反应和感受之间习得的联结。
Habits aren't just repeated actions, they are learnt links between a cue, a response, and a feeling.
例如，选择锻炼或不锻炼。
For example, choosing to exercise or not.
是的，你的意识思维可能会做出最终决定。
Yeah, your conscious mind might make the final decision.
你可能会认为，自己有权决定今晚是否去锻炼。
And you might think that you have a say in whether you choose to exercise tonight or not.
但在幕后，所有这些关联都在推动你做出这样或那样的选择，比如你上次锻炼时的感受、你对锻炼者的态度、小时候被最后一个挑进球类队伍的经历，或者你曾经摔倒过，从此对锻炼心生怨恨，总有一些奇怪的黑暗记忆萦绕其中，即使你无法有意识地回忆起那些事。
But behind the scenes are all these associations that are pushing you towards one decision or another, like how you felt the last time you exercised, your beliefs about people who exercise, that one time you were a kid and you were picked last for the ball team, or you fell over and now you forever resent exercise, and there's always this, like, weird dark memory about it, even if you can't consciously remember that happening.
我们还以饮食选择为例，非常有趣地看到这一点，比如我们在超市里选择购买什么。
Another way we see this really interestingly with is with, a lot of our food choices, like how we choose what we buy at the grocery store.
那么，为什么区分意识与潜意识如此重要？
So why is it important to separate the conscious from the unconscious?
这在行为、情绪和心理层面究竟对我们有什么帮助？
What does that actually help us with behavior behaviorally and emotionally and psychologically?
我们将在短暂的广告后，深入探讨所有这些内容以及更多，还有我们能从潜意识冲动中学到的重要教训。
We're gonna talk about all of that and more and the important lessons we can really take from unconscious impulses after this short break.
请继续关注我们。
Stay with us.
我是《罪恶重负》第二季播客的主持人南希·格拉斯。
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt season two podcast.
这是一个关于一个可怕的谎言如何摧毁了两个家庭的故事。
This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
一天深夜，鲍比·冈弗赖特成为一起随机犯罪的受害者。
Late one night, Bobby Gunfright became the victim of a random crime.
他掏出枪，告诉我
He pulls the gun, tells me
趴到地上。
to lie down on the ground.
他指认杰曼·哈德森是行凶者。
He identified Jermaine Hudson as the perpetrator.
杰曼被判处九十九年监禁。
Jermaine was sentenced to ninety nine years.
我当时想，主啊，这不可能是真的。
I'm like, Lord, this can't be real.
我以为这是认错人了。
I thought it was a mistaken identity.
最好的谎言是部分真相。
The best lie is partial truth.
二十二年来，只有两个人知道真相，直到一次坦白改变了这一切。
For twenty two years, only two people knew the truth until a confession changed everything.
我是个怪物。
I was a monster.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听《罪恶重负》第二季。
Listen to Burden of Guilt season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2023 年，一则故事震惊了英国，引发恐惧与难以置信。
In 2023, a story gripped The UK, evoking horror and disbelief.
本应负责照顾婴儿的护士
The nurse who should have been
如今却成了现代英国历史上最猖獗的儿童杀手。
in charge of caring for tiny babies is now the most prolific child killer in modern British history.
每个人都以为他们知道结局如何。
Everyone thought they knew how it ended.
一个判决？
A verdict?
一个恶人。
A villain.
一名名叫露西·莱特比的护士。
A nurse named Lucy Letby.
露西·莱特比已被判有罪。
Lucy Letby has been found guilty.
但如果我们没有听到完整的故事呢？
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
当你看到整个画面时，
The moment you look at the whole picture, the
这个案件就崩塌了。
case collapses.
我是阿曼达·诺克斯。
I'm Amanda Knox.
在新的播客《露西·莱特比案》中，我们追踪证据，倾听亲历者的声音，探究当世界决定露西·莱特比是谁时，究竟发生了什么。
And in the new podcast, The Case of Lucy Letby, we follow the evidence and hear from the people that lived it to ask what really happened when the world decided who Lucy Letby was.
没有任何质疑或怀疑的声音。
No voicing of any skepticism or doubt.
如果这是错误的，将会对英国体制的每一个层面造成巨大伤害。
It'll cause so much harm at every single level of the British establishment of this is wrong.
请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或您常用的播客平台收听《怀疑：露西·莱特比案》。
Listen to Doubt, the case of Lucy Letby on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
中国国家安全部是世界上最具神秘性和权力的情报机构之一。
China's Ministry of State Security is one of the most mysterious and powerful spy agencies in the world.
但在2017年，联邦调查局成功渗透了进去。
But in 2017, the FBI got inside.
我是特别探员雷格尔，特别探员布拉德利·霍尔。
This is Special Agent Regal, Special Agent Bradley Hall.
这名中国国家安全部官员并不知道美国政府已经盯上了他。
This MSS officer has no idea the US government is on to him.
但联邦调查局掌握了他所有的聊天记录、短信、电子邮件，甚至他的私人日记。
But the FBI has his chats, texts, emails, even his personal diary.
请收听《第六局》播客，了解他们是如何获得这些信息的。
Hear how they got it on the sixth Bureau podcast.
我现在掌握了这名中国国家安全部官员的数太字节数据，毫无疑问，这是他生活的全部记录。
I now have several terabytes of an MSS officer, no doubt, no question, of his life.
这简直是独一无二的。
And that's a unicorn.
从来没有人见过这样的情况。
No one had ever seen anything like that.
这简直难以置信。
It was unbelievable.
这是一个关于内部运作的故事
This is a story of the inner workings
MSS 的内部运作，以及一个人的野心与错误如何揭开了其秘密宝库。
of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听《第六局》。
Listen to the sixth bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是克莱顿·内卡德。
I'm Clayton Neckard.
2022 年，我是 ABC 电视台《单身汉》节目的主角。
And in 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
不幸的是，事情并没有按计划进行。
Unfortunately, it didn't go according to plan.
他成为历史上首位被拒绝最终玫瑰的单身汉。
He became the first Bachelor to ever have his final rose rejected.
网络舆论对他展开了围攻。
The Internet turned on him.
如果我能按下一个按钮，
If I could press a button and
如果能重来，我会这么做。
rewind it all, I would.
但《单身汉》节目播出后，克莱顿的经历引发了更大的轰动。
-But what happened to Clayton after the show made even bigger headlines.
这原本只是一夜情，却最终走向法庭，克莱顿卷入了一场极其古怪的亲子纠纷。
It began as a one night stand and ended in a courtroom, with Clayton at the center of a very strange paternity scandal.
媒体都来了。
-The media is here.
这个案子已经爆红了。
This case has gone viral.
约会合同。
The dating contract.
同意和我约会，但我同时要起诉你。
Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you.
请签发搜查令。
Please search warrant.
我从未见过这样的事情。
This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
我是斯蒂芬妮·杨。
I'm Stephanie Young.
这是《爱的囚笼》。
This is Love Trapped.
本季讲述一场‘他说、她说’的史诗级对决，以及在谎言的海洋中寻求责任的历程。
This season, an epic battle of he said, she said, and the search for accountability in a sea of lies.
我什么都没做，只是和那位单身汉怀了孩子。
I have done nothing except get pregnant by the bachelor.
请在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听《爱的囚笼》。
Listen to Love Trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嗨。
Hey.
我是杰·谢蒂，《有目的》播客的主持人。
I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose Podcast.
我邀请到了卢克·康布斯，这位获奖的乡村音乐艺术家是当今乐坛最真实的声音之一。
I'm joined by Luke Combs, award winning country music artist and one of the most authentic voices in music today.
卢克坦诚地谈到了成功、自我怀疑、心理健康，以及当你的生活一夜之间改变时，如何真正保持本真。
Luke opens up about success, self doubt, mental health, and what it really takes to stay true to who you are when your life changes overnight.
我讨厌名气。
I hate fame.
我讨厌
I hate
“名人”这个词。
the word celebrity.
我讨厌这些词。
I hate those words.
它们让我感到不舒服。
They make me uncomfortable.
但我觉得当你到达
But I think when you get to
在某个时刻，名气、成功或影响力，只是放大了你原本就有的本质。
a certain point, the fame or the success or the influence, it just accentuates exacerbates the inherent person that you are.
那个总说他会一直在、会为到场做任何事的人，恰恰是那个从不出现的人。
The guy that says he's always gonna be there and that will do anything to be there is the only guy that's not there.
当博出生时，我在澳大利亚。
I'm in Australia when Beau was born.
我的整个身份认同就是，无论发生什么，我都会把妻子和孩子放在工作之上。
My whole identity is that no matter what, I'm gonna prioritize my wife and my children over my job.
我害怕与儿子的那场对话。
I dread the conversation with my son.
你觉得你会说什么？
What do you think you'd say?
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的播客平台收听《有目的》与杰·沙蒂。
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
那么，为什么我们不能把意识和潜意识合并在一起，就此了结呢？
So why can't we just lump our conscious and our unconscious together and call it a day?
这就是我们的大脑。
Like, that's our mind.
它就是它本来的样子。
It just is what it is.
我们为什么非得把它们分开来理解呢？
Like, why do we actually have to understand them separately?
我们刚才谈到的那些习惯，对吧？那些重复的行为，或者我们不断重复的事情，正因如此，弄清楚哪些行为来自你有意识的、目标导向的自我，也就是你的更高自我，哪些来自更深层的东西，才显得尤为重要。
Well, these habits we were talking about, right, those, like, repetitive behaviors or things that we keep doing, that is why it's important to know what comes from your conscious goal directed you, your higher self, and what comes from something deeper.
我经常引用的一句话是，最近几期节目我好像一直在引用荣格的话，但这句话对于我们今天讨论的内容来说简直太贴切了。
The quote I always use I feel like I've been quoting Carl Jung a lot in recent episodes, but this quote is spectacular for what we're talking about today.
卡尔·荣格，现代心理学的奠基人之一，曾说过：‘直到你将无意识变为有意识，它才会主导你的生活，而我们会称之为命运。’
Carl Jung, one of the grandfathers of modern psychology, he said, Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and we will call it fate.
这正是我们正在讨论的内容。
And this is what we're talking about.
我认为，很多人以为自己相当有自我觉察，尤其是如果你做过很多深层次的情感工作，或者接受过心理治疗。
I think a lot of us assume that we're pretty self aware as people, especially if like you've done a lot of that deep emotional work or you've been in therapy.
尤其是当你坦诚地谈论自己的感受时，你会觉得：是的，我某种程度上了解自己，知道发生了什么。
Especially if you talk openly about your feelings, you're like, yeah, I kind of I know myself, know what's going on.
但大量研究表明，这些行为和认知其实只是触及了表面。
But a lot of research says that most of these behaviours and this knowledge is really just scratching the surface.
20世纪70年代有一篇非常著名的心里学文献，研究者尼斯贝特和威尔逊发现：等等，我们其实并不清楚自己为何做出某些选择。
There is a pretty famous piece of literature, psychology literature from the 1970s, where essentially these researchers, Nisbett and Wilson, realised that, wait, we really don't know why we make certain choices.
我们真的不知道是什么促成了我们的判断。
We really don't know what produces our judgments.
当我们被问及为何做出某些决定时，常常会给出一个听起来合理的解释，即使那并非真实原因，只是为了让我们无意识的行为显得合乎逻辑。
And when we're asked to explain when we make certain decisions, often we'll just give an answer that sounds reasonable, even if that is not the true reason, just to kind of make our unconscious actions make sense.
这项研究在揭示这一点上具有根本性意义。
And this study, this study was like fundamental in showing this.
所以，他们基本上把参与者安排在一个房间里——我不确定具体是怎么操作的，但应该是逐个进行的。
So essentially, they put these participants in a room or I don't know how they actually did it, whether it was one by one, I think it was.
然后让他们面对一个衣架，上面摆着一系列没有标签的服装，接着让他们选出哪一件是最好的。
And they put them in front of like a clothing rack and there were these series of clothing items and they didn't have any tags on them and they just asked them to choose which item was the best.
那么，哪一件是最好的，质量最高，他们最偏爱哪一件呢？
So which item was the best, had the best quality, which one did they prefer the most?
问题是，这些衣物几乎完全相同，大多数人选择的是最靠右的那一件。
The thing was the items were almost identical and most people chose the item that was simply the furthest to the right.
不知为何，人们总是反复回到这一件上。
They just for whatever reason, people kept going back to this one.
它们都是一模一样的。
They were all the same.
就是最后面的那一件。
This one at the very end.
他们会触摸所有这些衣物，无论是因为这是他们最后触摸到的，还是因为它是位于最末端的，其实都无所谓。
And they would feel all these items, whether it was because it was the last item they felt because it was on the very end or the last item they saw, it didn't really matter.
不知什么原因，他们全都选择了这一件。
For some reason, they were all choosing this particular piece.
当被问到为什么选择这一件时？
And when they were asked, why did you choose this item?
参与者从未提到过位置因素。
Participants never mentioned the positioning.
他们从未提及过任何与此相关的内容。
They never mentioned anything about that.
他们甚至没有意识到这一点。
They weren't even consciously aware of it.
相反，他们只是给出了这样的解释，比如这个物品有一种特别的感觉或独特的质感，我能感觉到它更好。
Instead, they just gave these explanations like, this one had this very particular sense to it or this very particular texture, and I could tell it was better.
或者这个物品的纤维密度让我想起了小时候妈妈花了很多钱给我买的那件毛衣。
Or this one, the fibre count reminded me most of, like, this sweater I had as a kid that my mom spent a lot of money on.
就像，他们并不是在撒谎。
Like, they were just it wasn't that they were lying.
只是存在一些潜意识的底层过程在影响他们的选择，而他们自己却无法察觉，但他们的意识却必须为这些选择找理由。
It's just that there were these underlying unconscious processes that were impacting their choices that they didn't have access to, and yet their conscious mind had to justify it.
这就是人类行为可以被操控的一种方式。
And this is a way that human behavior can be manipulated.
这就是我们必须理解它的最重要原因之一。
That is one of the biggest reasons why we have to understand it.
对这一领域非常了解、并深知如何操纵这些无意识捷径或选择的人，实际上是广告商。
The group who know a lot about this and know very well how to manipulate these unconscious shortcuts or choices are actually advertisers.
而且，这可能让你感到惊讶，我们之前谈过超市。
And also, this may surprise you, we talked about grocery stores before.
那些负责摆放你超市货架商品的人，对无意识心理非常了解。
The people who stock your supermarket shelves, they know a lot about the unconscious mind.
你知道吗？我们大部分购物决策都仅仅基于商品的摆放位置。
Did you know that most of our shopping decisions are based on placement alone?
所以，大多数情况下，如果我们面对20种不同的果酱、意大利面或酱料等选择，我们几乎90%的时间都会买正对视线的那个。
So the majority of us, if we were given, let's say, 20 options for, like, jam or pasta or sauce or whatever, we're just gonna buy what's, like, directly in our line of sight, like, 90% of the time.
是的。
Yeah.
价格和质量有时也会有影响，但大品牌会不惜重金购买正中央、视线正前方的货架位置。
Like, price and quality will sometimes come into play, but big brands will literally pay top dollar to buy shelf space right in the middle, right in that line of sight.
因此，最受欢迎的品牌通常会摆在那个位置。
And that's why the most popular brands will often sit there.
即使你选择不购买那个产品，你之所以买别的东西，也是因为你的潜意识。
Even if you choose not to buy that product, why you buy a different one is also due to your unconscious mind.
例如，超市总是把最贵的商品放在最上面。
For example, supermarkets always put the most expensive items at the top.
稍高一点的价格会让你觉得它更好，也让你觉得自己能买得起不是最基本选择的东西，这满足了你的自尊心。
That slightly higher price makes it feel slightly better and makes you feel slightly better about yourself being able to afford something that isn't the basic choice because it feeds your ego.
它满足了你潜意识中需要被认可的那部分。
It feeds some unconscious part of your mind that needs validation.
也许你选择某种意大利面酱，是因为有一次，一个长得特别有吸引力、让你想起童年暗恋对象的人，你看到他们买了那种意大利面酱。
Maybe you choose a certain pasta sauce because one time somebody really attractive who reminded you of your childhood crush, you saw them buying that pasta sauce.
你已经不记得发生过这件事了。
You don't remember that happening.
但你现在总是买这一种。
But now that's the one you always buy.
也许那是你父母一直选择的那种。
Maybe it was the one that your parents always chose.
这是一个巨大的影响。
That is a huge influence.
父母买什么，往往会影响我们，即使我们认为自己是在做有意识的决定。
What our parents buy is often what, you know, continues to influence us even when we think we're making our own conscious decision.
你必须再次理解潜意识，因为人们正在利用它来引导你的行为，也许违背了你真正的意愿。
You need to understand the unconscious mind again, because people are using it to direct your behaviour, maybe against your actual wants.
人们可以操纵它。
People can manipulate it.
但也要想象一下，我们并不在超市里。
But also because imagine we're not in a grocery store.
想象一下，我们和朋友在一起。
Imagine we're around our friends.
想象一下，我们和约会对象在一起。
Imagine we're with somebody that we're dating.
那些决定你购物选择的相同自动化、根深蒂固的心理捷径，也同样影响着你在这些情境中的行为。
Those same automatic ingrained mental shortcuts that dictate your grocery choices also then dictate how you behave in those situations as well.
比如，为什么你会为一些看似毫无意义的小事而争吵。
Like, why you pick a fight over something small that seems to mean absolutely nothing.
为什么即使你理智上知道批评是关系中健康的一部分，你还是会如此防御。
Why you get so defensive towards criticism even though you rationally know it's, a healthy part of a relationship.
为什么朋友打断你，你会莫名地感到极度烦躁。
Why, for some reason, like, your friend interrupting you drives you mad.
但她晚到多久你都无所谓。
But, like, she could be as late as she want.
她甚至可以直接偷你的钱，你都不会在意。
She could literally steal money from you, you don't care.
但只要她一生气，你就觉得这是一种奇怪的不尊重，你不知道自己为什么会有这种反应，但你就是会。
But as soon as she's mad, like, that's this weird disrespect that you don't know why you respond, but you do.
你的潜意识会根据你反复经历、重复演练并赋予情感意义的事情进行训练，尤其是当这些事情在早期频繁或强烈发生时。
Your unconscious mind is trained to respond to whatever you repeatedly experience, rehearse and emotionally encode, especially when it happens early, often or intensely.
这正是你的潜意识是如何被塑造的。
That is really how your unconscious mind is trained.
发生的时间早晚、频率高低或强度大小，以及发生时的年龄。
Early, often or intensely frequency, intensity or the age at which it occurred.
一个显著的影响因素，你可能已经猜到了，那就是我们早期的学习、家庭环境和童年经历，甚至有些人认为，还包括在子宫中的经历或代际传承。
A big aspect, that impacts our unconscious mind is obviously you may have guessed this, our early learnings, our family, our childhood experiences, even and some would say this, experiences you had in the womb or generationally.
确实存在一种被称为‘集体潜意识’的概念，它认为我们最深层的信念和看待世界的方式，是在我们成为有意识的个体之前，就已精神上继承下来的。
Literally, there is this idea called collective unconscious, which which says that our deepest beliefs and our ways of seeing the world are spiritually inherited before us before we even are conscious beings.
你的潜意识在你的意识尚未跟上之前，就已经开始形成了。
Your unconscious mind is being formed way before your conscious mind even catches up.
虽然我认为这一点很难用科学方法证实，目前也缺乏充分的科学证据，但我们确实知道，你在有意识地觉察之前，就已经吸收了周围环境的规则。
Whilst I think that's pretty hard to prove scientifically, and there's yet to be a lot of proof, scientific proof for it, we do know that you absorb the rules of your environment before you are consciously aware of them.
比如，爱是如何表达的，当你难过时会发生什么，童年时犯错是被惩罚还是被修复，你的需求是被欢迎还是被视为麻烦，你是否被欺凌过，你被教导如何行为，以及哪些事情在你小时候让你深受创伤或无比兴奋。
Things like how love is shown, what happens when you're upset, whether mistakes when you were a child were punished or repaired, whether your needs were welcomed or inconvenient, whether you were bullied, how you were taught to behave, things that really traumatized you or excited you as a kid.
这些正是塑造你潜意识规则的根源。
They are what are creating the rules for your unconscious mind.
它们成为了关于生活如何运作、关系如何运作、世界上一切如何运作的模板。
And they become the template for how life works, how relationships work, how everything in the world works.
即使在成年后，你的身体仍会继续执行这些童年时期的规则，直到你有意识地更新它们。
Even in adulthood, your body will keep running these childhood rules until you consciously update them.
这就是为什么像谈话疗法、学习重新养育自己、重新处理或首次处理创伤等治疗工具如此有效的原因。
And this is why therapeutic tools like, you know, like talk therapy or learning to re parent yourself or reprocessing or processing for the first time or trauma are so effective.
你知道，这些是我们并不总能意识到的东西。
You know, these are the stuff that we're not necessarily aware of all the time.
我们大致知道这种事情会发生。
We kind of know it happens.
但我们往往不清楚它所造成的伤害。
We don't really get the wounds that it's causing.
只有当你真正深入下去，像考古学家一样深入挖掘，并在专业人士的帮助下把这些东西带出来时，才会如此。
And it's not until you like, really like get in the trenches and like dig deep, almost like an archaeologist, and you bring up this stuff with a professional, right?
你才能更深入地了解自己，真正明白是什么导致了你行为中的这些模式。
That you get yourself a bit more and you really understand what causes these patterns in your behaviour.
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那么，你如何识别出你的潜意识正在以一种对你不利的方式主导一切呢？
So how can you recognise when your unconscious mind is really steering things in a way that isn't benefiting you?
因为你的潜意识其实主导了很多事情。
Because your unconscious mind is steering a lot.
其中一些是很好的。
Some of it's great.
我们不需要去碰那些部分。
We don't need to touch that.
我们怎么知道什么时候需要去处理呢？
How do we figure out when we do?
我们确实需要做一些这样的工作。
We do need to, like, do some of that.
再次强调，就像考古挖掘一样。
Again, archaeological digging.
正如弗洛伊德所说，总会有一些迹象的。
As Freud said, there will be signs.
但可能并不是梦境，也不是令人不安的艺术作品或弗洛伊德式口误。
It's probably not gonna be dreams, though, or disturbing art or Freudian slips.
那可能并不是唯一的方式。
That's probably not the only way.
这并不是获取这些信息的最佳途径。
That's not the best way to get access to this.
相反，我不愿这么说，但很可能就是你行为和举动带来的自然后果。
Instead, and I hate to say it's probably gonna be the natural consequences of your actions and of your behavior.
我真希望我们能通过梦境来解读所有潜意识中的问题。
I wish we could interpret everything that was wrong with us unconsciously through our dreams.
那样会简单得多。
It'd be a lot easier.
不，它可能会更具现实感和切实可感的特征。
No, it's probably going to have a bit more realistic, tangible, a more realistic, tangible feel to it.
一个判断方法是，当你一再重复某种模式，尽管你有意识地希望有所不同。
One way to know is when you keep repeating a pattern, even though consciously you want something different.
你可能真心想休息，但却一直过度工作，因为无法陪伴家人或朋友而感到愧疚，但就是停不下来。
You might genuinely want to rest, but you keep overworking and you feel terrible about it because you're not seeing your family or your friends, but you cannot stop.
你可能真的很想要一段健康的关系。
You might really want a healthy relationship.
你真心希望和一个爱你的人在一起，却总是选择情感上无法投入的人。
You really want to be with somebody who loves you, but you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people.
带着遗憾的重复。
Repetition with regret.
你可能真心想为自己挺身而出，真心想创业，真心想成为自力更生的成功者。
You might really want to stand up for yourself, and you really want to start that business, and you really want to be a self made success.
但真正到了关键时刻，你却把自己困在了一个框里。
But when it comes down to it, you put yourself you put yourself in a box.
你总是道歉。
You apologize.
你就是不敢把自己展现在人前。
You can't, you know, put yourself out there.
你感受到一种停滞感，仿佛在你能达到的成就上有一层天花板。
You feel this kind of stagnation that there is, like, this ceiling to how much you can achieve.
你的内在模式告诉你，这种可能性并不属于我们。
You know, your wiring says to you that is not something that is available to us.
根据过去的经验，那不是我们这样的身份。
That is not who we are based on past experiences.
这个差距，这个差距很重要。
That gap, that gap is important.
你有意识地想要的东西与你反复去做或相信的东西之间的鸿沟，是表明一种建立在无意识、无益机制上的自动反应的最清晰信号。
The gap between what you consciously want and what you repeatedly do or believe is the clearest sign of an automatic reflex that is built on unconscious, unhelpful mechanisms.
另一个你能察觉到无意识在以不理想的方式掌控你的时刻，是你对眼前情境的反应显得过度强烈时。
Another time that you can notice that your unconscious is like in control in a way that's not great, is when your reactions feel bigger than the situation that is in front of you.
一个有用且非常重要的工具或线索是，当你对某种情境产生强烈的紧迫感，必须以特定方式回应时。
A useful, a very useful tool or clue is when you feel this real sense of urgency to respond in a specific way to a situation.
如果感觉‘我现在必须这么做才能好受一点，否则我就没有别的办法应对了’，这通常是无意识在试图以最高效的方式减轻不适，只是它在用过去曾有效的方式保护你。
If it feels like I have to do this right now to feel okay, otherwise, like I don't have any other way, I don't know any other way to respond to this, that is often the unconscious mind trying just to reduce discomfort as efficiently as possible, and it's just trying to protect you in the way that made sense in the past.
如果一句轻微的话就让你陷入恐慌、愤怒和退缩，完全不知道这种反应从何而来；或者你发现自己迅速过度反应，事后又感到极度困惑，这通常是一种自动的威胁反应。
If a small comment sends you into panic and rage and shut down and you just like don't know where that has come from, or if you find yourself like overreacting just like rapidly, and then you feel super confused afterwards, that is often an automatic threat response.
在这些情况下，我们是通过记忆做出反应，依据的是过去的含义，而不是当下正在发生的真实情况。
In these kinds of situations, we are responding, through memory, and we're responding based on past meaning rather than what is actually happening in the present moment.
这确实是一个信号，表明某种更深层的东西被激活或触发了，而你可能并未意识到。
And it definitely is a sign, like, something deeper is being activated or triggered here that maybe we're not aware of.
或者你其实知道，只是不愿意去想。
Or maybe we are, but we don't wanna think of.
我再给你举几个例子，我在想什么样的例子比较合适。
Just to give you some more examples, like, I'm trying to think about what would be a good one.
比如，如果你的朋友总是选餐厅，而你开始对他们感到非常烦躁，真的非常烦躁，却不知道为什么——这真的是因为他们的问题，还是因为你不喜欢被安排，或者因为你无法掌控计划？
So for example, if your friend always chooses the restaurant and you start getting, like, really annoyed at them, really annoyed at them and you do not know why, is it really them or is it because you don't like being directed Or because you're not in control of plans?
因为别人选一家餐厅，本不该引发如此强烈的情绪反应，但你却觉得这其实反映了你自身的某些问题。
Because somebody else choosing a restaurant probably shouldn't elicit that much of a of an emotional reaction, but you think it really says something about you.
或者，如果你的伴侣没有在恰当的时刻、用恰当的语气说‘我爱你’，你就立刻陷入极度焦虑。
Or if your partner doesn't say I love you back in, like, the specific right tone at the right time, and, like, you go into this full tizzy.
这和他们有关吗？
Is it about them?
还是说你内心深处总是怀疑，是否有人能真正爱你，因为你父母从未给你足够的关爱？
Or is it that you like maybe always secretly question whether anyone could truly love you because your parents didn't show you that much affection?
还是因为过去的某段关系让你觉得自己毫无价值？
Or because a relationship in the past made you feel worthless?
值得问一问自己。
It's worth asking.
一旦你意识到这些迹象和那些明显过度的反应，你就已经比大约90%甚至更多的人更有觉察了。
Once you are aware of these markers and these reactions that just seem really disproportionate, you are basically more aware than I would say 90% of people, probably higher.
所以，注意到这些时，有时会感到非常羞耻，感觉特别尴尬和奇怪。
So like noticing it feels very shameful sometimes and feels very much like awkward and weird.
但我认为，正是在这种对自己不喜欢的行为感到不适时，才是最好的起点，因为这并不是你的错。
And I actually think that's the greatest place to start in that discomfort of recognising behaviours you don't like about yourself, Because it isn't your fault.
大多数时候，你之所以成为现在的样子，之所以有这样的反应模式，是因为你被这样塑造的，这是你的潜意识所优先选择的，这绝对不是你的错。
It definitely isn't your fault most of the time that like, this is who you are and this is how you were programmed, and this is how your this is what your unconscious mind chooses to prioritise.
但这是你的责任，这确实很糟糕。
It is your responsibility though, which really sucks.
这只是成年后那些额外的烦心事之一，但我们 definitely 能做到。
It's just an extra another one of those extra fun things about being an adult, but we can definitely do it.
我们 definitely 能为这些行为承担责任，改变结果，打破行为循环。
We can definitely take responsibilities for for these behaviors and and change the outcome and change the behavioral loop.
所以我们现在做最后一次休息，回来后，我想给你三种方法，尽可能以有意识的个体身份重新编程你的潜意识。
So we're gonna take one final break here, and then when we come back, I wanna give you three ways to do this and to reprogram your unconscious mind as much as we possibly can as conscious individuals.
请继续关注我们。
So stay with us.
我是《内疚的负担》第二季播客的主持人南希·格拉斯。
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt season two podcast.
这是一个关于一个可怕的谎言摧毁了两个家庭的故事。
This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
一天深夜，鲍比·甘普赖特成为了一起随机犯罪的受害者。
Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime.
他掏出枪，命令我
He pulls the gun, tells me
趴到地上。
to lie down on the ground.
他指认杰曼·哈德森是凶手。
He identified Jermaine Hudson as the perpetrator.
杰曼被判处九十九年监禁。
Jermaine was sentenced to ninety nine years.
我当时想：主啊，这不可能是真的。
I'm like, Lord, this can't be real.
我以为是认错人了。
I thought it was a mistaken identity.
最好的谎言是部分真相。
The best lie is partial truth.
二十二年来，只有两个人知道真相，直到一次坦白改变了所有。
For twenty two years, only two people knew the truth until a confession changed everything.
我是个怪物。
I was a monster.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您常用的播客平台收听《罪恶重负》第二季。
Listen to Burden of Guilt season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
2023 年，一个故事震惊了英国，引发恐惧与难以置信。
In 2023, a story gripped UK, evoking horror and disbelief.
本应负责照顾婴儿的护士
The nurse who should have been
如今却成为现代英国历史上最猖獗的儿童杀手。
in charge of caring for tiny babies is now the most prolific child killer in modern British history.
每个人都以为他们知道结局如何。
Everyone thought they knew how it ended.
一个判决，一个恶棍，一名名叫露西·莱特比的护士。
A verdict, a villain, a nurse named Lucy Letby.
露西·莱特比已被判有罪。
Lucy Letby has been found guilty.
但如果我们没有听到完整的故事呢？
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
当你看到
The moment you look at the
整个真相时，这个案子就站不住脚了。
whole picture, the case collapses.
我是阿曼达·诺克斯。
I'm Amanda Knox.
在新的播客《怀疑：露西·莱特比案》中，我们将追踪证据，聆听亲历者的声音，探究当全世界决定露西·莱特比是谁时，究竟发生了什么。
And in the new podcast, Doubt, the Case of Lucy Letby, we follow the evidence and hear from the people that lived it to ask what really happened when the world decided who Lucy Letby was.
不允许有任何质疑或怀疑的声音。
No voicing of any skepticism or doubt.
这会对英国体制的每一个层面造成巨大伤害，因为这件事是错的。
It'll cause so much harm at every single level of the British establishment that this is wrong.
在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或你收听播客的任何平台收听《怀疑：露西·莱特比案》。
Listen to Doubt, the case of Lucy Letby on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
中国国家安全部是世界上最具神秘性和权力的情报机构之一。
China's Ministry of State Security is one of the most mysterious and powerful spy agencies in the world.
但在2017年，联邦调查局成功潜入了内部。
But in 2017, the FBI got inside.
这位是特别探员雷格尔，特别探员布拉德利·霍尔。
This is special agent Regal, special agent Bradley Hall.
这位中国国家安全部官员并不知道美国政府已经盯上了他，但联邦调查局掌握了他所有的聊天记录、短信、电子邮件，甚至他的私人日记。
This MSS officer has no idea the US government is on to him, but the FBI has his chats, texts, emails, even his personal diary.
请收听《第六局》播客，了解他们是如何做到的。
Hear how they got it on the sixth bureau podcast.
我现在手头有数太字节的资料，完整记录了一位中国国家安全部官员的生活，毫无疑问，这一点毋庸置疑。
I now have several terabytes of an MSS officer, no doubt, no question of his life.
这简直是稀世珍宝。
And that's a unicorn.
从来没有人见过这样的情况。
No one had ever seen anything like that.
这简直难以置信。
It was unbelievable.
这是一个关于中国国家安全部内部运作的故事。
This is a story of the inner workings of
而一个人的野心与失误，揭开了它珍藏的秘密。
the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
请在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您收听播客的任何平台收听《第六局》。
Listen to the sixth Bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是克莱顿·内卡德，2022年，我是ABC电视台《单身汉》节目的主角。
I'm Clayton Neckard, and in 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
可惜的是，事情并没有按计划进行。
Unfortunately, it didn't go according to plan.
他成为了历史上首位被最终人选拒绝的单身汉。
He became the first bachelor to ever have his final rose rejected.
网络舆论对他展开了围攻。
The internet turned on him.
如果我能按下一个按钮
If I could press a button
把一切重来，我会这么做。
and rewind it all, I would.
但节目结束后，克莱顿的经历引发了更大的轰动。
But what happened to Clayton after the show made even bigger headlines.
这一切始于一夜情，最终却走向法庭，克莱顿成为一起非常奇特的亲子纠纷案的中心。
It began as a one night stand and ended in a court courtroom, with Clayton at the center of a very strange paternity scandal.
媒体都来了。
The media is here.
这个案子已经爆红了。
This case has gone viral.
约会合同。
The dating contract.
同意和我约会，但我同时要起诉你。
Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you.
请签发搜查令。
Please search warrant.
我从未见过这样的事情。
This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
我是斯蒂芬妮·杨。
I'm Stephanie Young.
这是被困的爱情。
This is love trapped.
本季，一场‘他说，她说’的史诗级对决，以及在谎言的海洋中寻求责任的历程。
This season, an epic battle of he said, she said, and the search for accountability in a sea of lies.
我什么都没做，只是和单身汉发生了关系并怀孕了。
I have done nothing except get pregnant by the bachelor.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您常用的播客平台收听《被困的爱情》。
Listen to Love Trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嗨，我是杰·沙蒂，《有目的》播客的主持人。
Hey, I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast.
我邀请到了卢克·康布斯，这位获奖的乡村音乐艺人，也是当今乐坛最真实的声音之一。
I'm joined by Luke Combs, award winning country music artist, and one of the most authentic voices in music today.
卢克坦诚地谈到了成功、自我怀疑、心理健康，以及当你的生活一夜之间改变时，如何真正保持本真。
Luke opens up about success, self doubt, mental health, and what it really takes to stay true to who you are when your life changes overnight.
我讨厌名气。
I hate fame.
我讨厌
I hate
‘名人’这个词。
the word celebrity.
我讨厌这些词。
I hate those words.
它们让我感到不适。
They make me uncomfortable.
但我觉得当你达到一个
But I think when you get to a
在某个时刻，名气、成功或影响力，只会放大和加剧你原本就有的本质。
certain point, the fame or the success or the influence, it just accentuates exacerbates the inherent person that you are.
那个总说他会一直在、会不惜一切代价留在那的人，反而是唯一不在的人。
The guy that says he's always gonna be there and that will do anything to be there is the only guy that's not there.
当博出生时，我在澳大利亚。
I'm in Australia when Beau was born.
我的整个身份认同就是，无论发生什么，我都会把妻子和孩子放在工作之上。
My whole identity is that no matter what, I'm gonna prioritize my wife and my children over my job.
我害怕与儿子的那场对话。
I dread the conversation with my son.
你觉得你会说什么？
What do you think you'd say?
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的播客平台收听《有目的》与杰·沙蒂。
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我个人认为，一个人智力的最重要体现之一，是选择不只被动接受自己的处境或习得的行为。
I personally think one of the biggest signs of intelligence in somebody is choosing not just to accept your situation or learnt behavior for what it is.
不是仅仅说，我就是这样，我一直都是这样。
Choosing not just to say like, this is the way I am and this is how I've always been.
那我为什么必须改变呢？
So why do I have to change?
而是要为更好的自己、为你想成为的人采取行动，即使你目前还没有达到那个状态。
But instead, instead taking action on behalf of your better self and on behalf of the person you want to be, even if you are not there yet.
事实上，研究一再表明，缺乏心理灵活性——因此也缺乏心理智力或情绪智力——的一个最重要表现，就是无法承担责任，或看不到自己行为中的任何问题。
In fact, research has shown research has shown time and time again that one of the biggest signs of low mental flexibility, and therefore low mental intelligence, or emotional intelligence, should say, is being unable to take accountability or see any issue with our own behavior.
但那不会是我们。
That is not going to be us, though.
那不会是我们，因为我们明白。
That is not gonna be us because we know.
我们知道我们该对什么负责。
We know what we're responsible for.
现在，我们要改变它。
Now we're gonna change it.
认识到你可能在自我 sabotaging，并不是一种弱点。
Recognizing ways you may be self sabotaging is not a weakness.
大多数人一生中都从未这样做过。
Most people will never do this in their entire lives.
接下来我们要做的是这些。
So this is what we're gonna do next.
第一步，根据杰出作家布里安娜·韦斯特的说法，我想她的名字是布里安娜·韦斯特。
The first step, according to the incredible author, Brianna Weist, I think her name is Brianna West Weist.
但你会认识她的。
You will know her though.
她写了《101篇改变你思维方式的随笔》。
She wrote the book, A 101 Essays to Change the Way You Think.
她还写了《转折之年》和《山就是你》。
She also wrote The Pivot Year, The Mountain is You.
我想她还有一本书即将出版。
I think she has another book coming out.
但她关于这种潜意识重塑所说过的最好的一点是，如果你想改变自己的行为，并希望重新塑造潜意识对事物的反应方式，你就必须向你的潜意识和无意识发出信号，表明另一种现实是可能的。
But one of the best things that she said about this, about this rewiring of the unconscious is if you wanna change your behavior and you want to rewire how your unconsciousness or unconscious brain responds to things, you have to signal to your subconscious and your unconscious that another reality is possible.
本质上，你必须能够想象出一个全新的、更好的场景给自己。
Essentially, you have to be able to imagine a new scenario and a better scenario for yourself.
你越是在脑海中通过排练和可视化来练习这个想象的场景，它就越显得真实。
And the more you practice that imagined scenario in your brain by rehearsing it, by visualizing it, the more it feels real.
所以你已经识别出了想要改变的反应模式。
So you've recognized the response that you want to change.
现在你实际上是在重新编程可能随之而来的不同结果的可能性。
Now you are essentially reprogramming the outcome that the the possibility of a different outcome that could come off could come afterwards.
你的大脑常常将客观现实与你对潜在现实或想象的看法视为同等。
Your brain often treats objective reality, and your thoughts about a potential reality or your imagination is the same.
这意味着，如果你认为某事可能成真，你的大脑也会开始相信它。
And that means that if you think it can be true, your brain starts to believe it as well.
这就是认知重塑。
That's cognitive rewiring.
这实际上是产生焦虑的相同神经模式，只是方向相反。
It's literally the same neurological patterns that create anxiety just in the reverse.
对吧？
Right?
你的大脑会创造出各种‘如果’的可能性，并过度投入其中，因为它无法总是分清想象的现实和真实的现实。
Your brain like, your brain cooks up these, like, what if possibilities and overinvest in them because it can't always tell imagined reality from actual reality.
但在这种情况下，我们会过度思考最好的结果。
In this situation, though, we're going to overthink the best case scenario.
我们是在反向工程这个过程，来帮助自己。
We are like reverse reverse engineering this to help us out.
正如布里安娜所说，你必须先愿意相信这是可能的，然后可能性的现实才会随之而来。
As Brianna says, you have to be willing to see it's possible before the reality of possibility follows.
无论是在一段关系中，还是想象如何摆脱与情绪不成熟的人约会的循环，你都必须先想象这是可能的。
Whether that is in a relationship, whether that is imagining how you are going to break out of, your cycle of dating emotionally unavailable people, you have to imagine that that's possible.
无论是摆脱愤怒和暴躁的模式，你都必须先想象这是可能的。
Whether it is, breaking out of a pattern of rage and anger, you have to imagine it's possible first.
无论是摆脱不与朋友沟通、总是发生激烈友谊冲突的模式，如果你无法想象另一种方式，你就无法做到。
Whether it is breaking out of a pattern of not communicating with your friends and always having these, like, dramatic friendship blowups, If you cannot imagine a different way of doing it, you're not gonna be able to do it.
所以，这种练习的一部分，就像是创意写作或创意重塑的过程——写你自己的冒险故事，写你自己的结局。
So part of this practice is, like, almost kind of like a creative writing, creative rewiring exercise of, like, write your own adventure, write your own ending.
这会怎么发展呢？
How is this gonna go?
其次，一旦你有了想象中的替代场景，就要让这个新程序变得非常简单。
Second, once you have the imagined alternative scenario, just keep the programming really, really simple.
选择一个你不喜欢的、你经常自动做出的行为、反应或选择，专门针对它进行改变。
Choose one behavior, one reaction, one automatic choice you make that you don't particularly like and target that.
这些建议曾在2018年的《新科学家》杂志上发表过。
This was advice that was written about in the New Scientist in 2018.
他们确实做了一整期关于如何重新编程你的潜意识的内容，如果你想付费订阅的话。
They actually did this whole series on, like, reprogramming your unconscious if you wanna pay for a subscription.
但本质上，他们或这篇文章的作者说的是，我们必须从小处着手。
But essentially, what they said or what the author of this article said was that we have to start small.
我们必须从最微观的层面开始，才能触及潜意识并重新塑造它。
We have to start on the most micro level to gain access to our unconscious and rewire it.
因此，创建一个单一的‘如果-那么’计划，其中‘那么’部分是期望的行为，这就是我们所说的。
So creating a singular if then plan, where the then is the desired behavior, that is what we're talking about.
如果我处于这种情况，那么我就这样回应。
If I'm in this situation, then this is how I'm going to respond.
实际上，这方面的证据非常充分。
There's actually such strong evidence.
这一点已经被多次提及。
It's been written about so many times.
顺便说一句，这对我来说根本不是什么原创想法。
This is not an original idea for me, by the way, at all.
这一点已经被反复撰写和研究过，因此，获得对自动冲动更多控制权的最简单方法之一，就是提前预设好你的应对方式。
This has been written about and studied so often that one of the simplest ways to gain more control over automatic impulses is to pre decide what your response is going to be in advance.
这也是一种人们逐个行为地从成瘾中康复的方式。
It's also a way that people, recover from addiction, you know, one behavior at a time.
2006年有一项重要的元分析研究。
There was a major 2006 meta analysis.
虽然现在有点过时了，但这项大型元分析整合了数十项研究的结果，检验了这些方法的效果。
So a little bit old now, but this big meta analysis that pulled together results from dozens of studies and they tested what what these are called.
这些被称为实施意图，对吧？
These are called implementation intentions, right?
就是那些如果那么的计划，比如如果晚上10点，那我就上床睡觉。
Those if then plans, like if it's 10PM, then I'm in bed.
如果是早上，那我就不用手机。
If it's the morning, then I'm not on my phone.
这个例子不太好。
That's a bad one.
比如，如果我产生想要取悦别人的冲动，那我就给某人发邮件，说我会再回复你。
Like, if I feel the urge to people please, then I will email somebody and say, I'll get back to you.
然后我会给自己二十分钟的时间来回应。
Then I will give myself twenty minutes to respond.
如果我生伴侣的气，我就去散步。
If I'm angry at my partner, then I'll take a walk.
在这些研究中，所有这些实施意图——那些拥有具体想象场景的人，比那些只设定笼统改变愿望的人，更有可能坚持他们的新习惯和意图。
Those kind of implementation intentions across all these studies, people who had these in place, people who had the imagined better scenario, were significantly more likely to follow through on their new habits and intentions than people who just set a general broad desire to change.
所以有些人会说，我想变得更好。
So people who are like, I wanna I wanna be better.
我想成为一个更好的人。
I wanna be a better person.
我想更健康，等等等等。
I wanna be healthier, blah blah blah blah blah.
他们其实根本做不到。
They weren't able to really do it.
但当你能明确说出：这是我的触发点，或我通常无意识反应的情境，而这是我希望做出的不同回应，当你能清晰识别出A和B时，你成功的几率就会大幅提高。
But when you could say, this is my trigger, or this is the situation I normally unconsciously respond to, and this is how I want to respond differently, when you could really identify A and B, your chances of success skyrocketed.
关于这一点的解释，抱歉，让我再深入一点。
And the explanation for that, sorry, just to drill into this a little bit more.
之所以如此，是因为‘如果’部分至关重要，因为它让你更敏锐地察觉到引发你惯常自动反应的诱因。
The explanation for that is that the if part is the crucial part, because it makes you more sensitive to what is queuing the automatic response that you would normally perform.
如果。
If.
‘如果’让你意识到环境中哪些因素会触发你的反应。
The if is making you aware of what in your environment triggers a response.
你环境中哪些因素会让你特别敏感？
What in your environment makes you particularly sensitive?
你过去经历使你在环境中对哪些事物特别容易产生反应？
What in your environment your past has made you particularly reactive to?
然后它打断了你无意识或自动行为原本想执行的循环，并提醒你：这是我们的出口。
And then it interrupts the normal loop that your unconscious or automatic behaviors would want to perform and is like, this is our exit.
然后我们会做点别的。
Then we will do something else.
另一种方式是让自己对潜意识的冲动更有掌控感，尤其是那些——我反复强调——我们不希望潜意识产生的冲动。潜意识确实能做好很多事。
Another way to feel more in control of the impulses of the unconscious mind, especially the ones again, I keep saying this, the ones we don't want your unconscious mind does great things.
但另一种让自己对那些不那么愉快的冲动更有掌控感的方式，就是简单地放慢速度。
But another way to feel in control of those that we don't particularly enjoy is really simply to just move slower.
当我们谈论冲动时，我们通常指的是自下而上的自动处理，比如自动的情绪反应，对吧？
When we talk about impulses, we're often really talking about bottom up automatic, like automatic processing and like automatic emotional responses, right?
这些冲动源自我们内心非常深层的地方。
It's coming from something very deep in us.
这些反应通常由更古老、更原始的大脑系统产生，比如最早演化出来的杏仁核、边缘系统和中脑结构。
And these responses are often generated by much older ancient brain systems, the ones that would have would have come about first, the amygdala, the limbic system, the midbrain structures.
如果你看大脑的横截面，它们正好位于中心位置。
Literally, if you looked at a cross section of the brain, they are right in the they are right in the center.
它们最受保护，因为它们最重要。
They're the most protected because they're the most important.
这些系统速度快、效率高，专为生存而设计。
These systems, they are fast, they are efficient, they are designed for survival.
它们不希望你等待细微的差别。
It doesn't want you to wait for nuance.
你的自动行为并不关心你的长期目标。
Your automatic behaviours don't care about your long term goals.
它们并不想征求你对反应是否符合你理想自我形象的意见。
They don't want to consult you about how your reaction might meet your your vision of your ideal self.
当你压力大、睡眠不足、过度刺激或情绪失控时，边缘系统与前额叶皮层之间的平衡会发生变化，导致你有意识地打断行为或反应的能力大幅下降。
When you are stressed, when you are sleep deprived, when you are overstimulated, when you are emotionally flooded, the balance between your limbic system and your prefrontal cortex shifts so that your ability to intentionally interrupt a behavior or intentionally interrupt, I don't know, reaction, it just goes way down.
就像，你很难赶在那辆公交车前面。
Like, it's hard to get in front of that bus.
在高度唤醒的状态下，你更有可能回归到默认行为或习惯性反应。
In high arousal states, you are, again, more likely to return to the default or to your habitual behaviors.
因此，你对不适的容忍窗口以及打断它的能力都会缩小。
And so your window for tolerance of discomfort and your ability to interrupt it, it just narrows.
另一方面，放慢速度可以打断这一连串正在发生的事情。
Slowing down, on the other hand, interrupts that, like, that cascade of stuff that's happening.
从神经生物学的角度来看，刻意减缓甚至你的步行速度，刻意让自己总是不那么匆忙，放慢呼吸、说话、身体动作，甚至放慢进食速度——无论是匆匆在柜台前吃早餐，还是坐下来慢慢享受，放慢这一切都会增强副交感神经系统的活动，从而带来更好的情绪调节和更强的自上而下的控制，而非自下而上的反应。
From a neurobiological perspective, deliberately, you know, reducing even your walking pace, deliberately making yourself in less of a rush all the time, slowing down your breathing, slowing down your speech, slowing down your physical movement, slowing down how you eat even, whether you rush breakfast over the counter or you sit down and enjoy it, slowing down all that stuff increases parasympathetic nervous system activity, which means better emotional regulation and stronger, like, top down control rather than bottom up response.
你正在从生物和神经层面让自己更容易做出对自己更有利的选择，而不是仅仅做出反应。
You are literally making it biologically, neurologically easier to choose a better a better outcome for yourself rather than just reacting.
如果你一直处于反应状态，就无法管理那些无意识的东西。
You can't manage what is unconscious if you are always in a reactive state.
这根本不可能。
It's just not possible.
所以，这可能是最重要的一件事。
So this is probably the most important thing of all.
去做谈话治疗，去疗愈内在小孩，去做所有那些历史层面的工作。
Do the talk therapy, do the inner child healing, do all of that, do the historical work.
但如果你的神经系统没有得到调节，如果你没有更主动地生活，我觉得‘主动性’这个词已经被用滥了，但它确实如此。
But if your nervous system is not regulated, if you are not going about life more intentionally, and I feel like intentionality is such a buzzword, but it's true.
如果你不努力培养这些高层次的意图，不放慢生活节奏，不以任何你能做到的方式减轻压力——我知道生活很忙，但请尽可能减轻压力——否则，你向身体传递信号，希望它采用新的叙事模式、做出不同反应的能力，将会变得极其困难。
If you do not work on these high level intentions and slowing down your life and reducing stress in whatever way you can, I know it's a busy life, but reducing stress in whatever way you can, your ability to signal to your body that you want to perform this new set of narratives and that you want to respond differently is gonna be very, very difficult?
但我仍然认为你是能做到的。
But I still think you're able to do it.
我仍然认为，至少从认识到潜意识的作用开始，理解它过去如何基于伤害、恐惧、创伤，甚至美好的经历，对你产生影响而非伤害你，这是一个很好的起点。
I still think that even just recognising to begin with the role of your unconscious mind and the re and what it's kind of doing not doing to you, but what it's trying to do for you based on the past, based on past hurt, based on past fear, trauma, even good things, that is a great place to begin.
我知道对于我来说，最近几期节目我一直在谈论这个话题，你能听出来，这正是我目前正在经历的事情。
I know for me, and I feel like I've been talking about this a lot in recent episodes, you can tell I'm really this is what I'm going through at the moment.
但我最大的领悟是，我如何无意识地应对社交威胁，尤其是和朋友相处时，反思小时候我曾不被接纳、被欺凌、朋友很少、非常孤独的经历。
But my big thing has been realizing how I unconsciously, like, respond to social threats, especially with my friends, and reflecting on, you know, how when I was a kid, like, I wasn't accepted, and I I was bullied, and I didn't have many friends, and I was very lonely.
因此，每当朋友们聚在一起却没叫我，或者类似的事情发生时，我总会产生一种奇怪的反应：我会变得非常烦躁，甚至无意识地自我 sabotaging，主动与朋友拉开距离，即使他们明明在问：‘到底怎么了？’
And so would always have this weird reaction when, like, people would hang out without me or, I don't know, things of that nature would happen where I would get really irritated and I would I would self sabotage in a way where I would put even more distance between myself and that friend, even when they were kind of like, hey, what the heck is going on?
对我来说，最大的领悟是，我的大脑无意识中所做的一切，都是为了让我生活得更安全，为了保护我免受过去的伤害。
That's been a big thing for me, realizing that unconsciously everything that my brain is trying to do is is to make life safer for me and is trying to protect me from past hurt.
关键是，我现在已经不再处于那种情境了。
And the thing is is that I'm not in that situation anymore.
我不再是那个感到被社会排斥的孩子或青少年。
I'm not that child or that teenager or that kid who was, like, feeling very socially rejected.
我现在是一个成年人，拥有精彩的生活，并且非常重视真挚的友谊。
I'm an adult who has a brilliant life and who is really focused on brilliant friendships.
我过去的那些模式，现在已经不适用了。
Those patterns from my past, like, don't fit here anymore.
如果我继续维持这些行为，继续重复它们，我会失去一段非常好的关系。
And if I keep them up and if I keep performing them, like, I'm gonna lose a really good thing.
所以，只要注意到它，并尽可能有意识地去应对，告诉自己：我不再想做这样的人了。
So just noticing it and being as intentional as possible and being like, I don't wanna be this person anymore.
这是你能做到或开始的最棒的事情之一，不仅仅是在二十多岁的时候，而是在任何年龄都可以。
Just one of the most brilliant things that you can do or start, like, not just in your twenties, but, like, at any age.
即使你已经六十多岁了，这依然会非常有益。
You could be in your sixties, and it's still gonna be great.
即使你已经九十多岁了，这依然是对我们非常有效、美好的一件事。
You could be in your nineties, and this is still an effective, wonderful thing for for us to do.
所以，我希望你喜欢这一期节目。
So I hope you enjoyed this episode.
希望它能带给你一些洞见，引发一些讨论。
I hope it's given you some insight, stirred up some conversation.
一如既往，感谢我们杰出的研究员利比·科尔伯特对本集的帮助。
As always, thank you to our brilliant researcher, Libby Colbert, for her help with this episode.
这背后投入了大量研究，无论你是刚开始接触心理学，还是已经深入学习，这个话题总是如此引人入胜。
So much research went into this, and it's just, like, always such a fascinating topic to return to, whether you're, like, in the intro stages of psychology or, like, more advanced.
我觉得这是我最喜欢的话题之一。
I feel like it's one of my yeah.
这是我最喜爱的讨论主题之一。
It's one of my favorite things to discuss.
如果你在Spotify上收听，请在下方留下一个大脑表情符号，让我知道你听完了整集。
If you are listening on Spotify, leave a little brain emoji below so I know that you made it to the end of the episode.
感谢你一直陪伴至此。
And thank you for sticking around.
我非常感激。
I very much appreciate it.
请确保你在Instagram和Substack上关注我们，如果你想获取更多内容。
Make sure that you are following us on Instagram, on Substack if you want the yeah.
如果你想获取这篇文章的链接以及我们所用的所有研究资料。
If you want the links to this article and to look at all the research we used.
如果你在美国或加拿大，现在也可以在Netflix上观看我们。
You can also watch us now on Netflix if you are in The US or Canada.
请在你拍摄的观看播客的照片和故事中@我。
Please tag me in your pictures, tag me in your stories of you watching the podcast.
氛围太棒了。
The vibe is amazing.
你现在就能看到我身后这些酷炫的道具。
You can see all these cool props behind me right now.
这为今天我们所做和所讨论的内容增添了一种更深的层次感。
It just brings, I don't know, a whole deeper level to what we're doing today and what we're talking about.
再次感谢你的收听。
So thank you again for listening.
希望在美国或加拿大的你能看到我在Netflix上的内容，其他地区的朋友，我很抱歉。
Hopefully, I see you over on Netflix if you are in The US or Canada elsewhere, I'm sorry.
我现在帮不了你这个忙，但希望很快就能。
I can't I can't help you with that right now, but hopefully soon.
在下一次之前，请保重，善待他人，也温柔对待自己。
And until next time, be safe, be kind, be gentle to yourself.
我们很快就会再聊。
We will talk very, very shortly.
我是南希·格拉斯，《罪恶重负》第二季播客的主持人。
I'm Nancy Glass, host of the Burden of Guilt Season two Podcast.
这是一个关于一个可怕的谎言摧毁了两个家庭的故事。
This is a story about a horrendous lie that destroyed two families.
在一个深夜，鲍比·甘普赖特成为了一起随机犯罪的受害者。
Late one night, Bobby Gumpright became the victim of a random crime.
行凶者被判了九十九年监禁，直到一次自白改变了这一切。
The perpetrator was sentenced to ninety nine years until a confession changed everything.
我是个怪物。
I was a monster.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或您收听播客的任何平台收听《罪恶重负》第二季。
Listen to Burden of Guilt season two on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是阿曼达·诺克斯。
I'm Amanda Knox.
并且在
And in
新的播客《露西·莱特比案》中，我们深入剖析了 2023 年震惊英国的一场难以想象的悲剧。
the new podcast, The Case of Lucy Letby, we unpack the story of an unimaginable tragedy that gripped The UK in 2023.
但如果我们没有听到完整的故事呢？
But what if we didn't get the whole story?
证据被如此仓促地构建起来。
The evidence has been made so fast.
当你一看到
The moment you look at the
整个局面时，这个案子就崩塌了。
whole picture, the case collapsed.
如果真相被我们选择相信的故事所掩盖了呢？
What if the truth was disguised by a story we chose to believe?
天哪。
Oh my god.
我觉得她可能是无辜的。
I think she might be innocent.
收听《疑点》——露西·莱特比案，在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您常用的任何播客平台。
Listen to doubt, the case of Lucy Letby on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是特别探员里格尔，特别探员布拉德利·霍尔。
This is special agent Regal, special agent Bradley Hall.
2018年，联邦调查局捣毁了一个为国安部工作的间谍网络，国安部是世界上最神秘的情报机构之一。
In 2018, the FBI took down a ring of spies working of State Security, one of the most mysterious intelligence agencies in the world.
《第六局》播客讲述的是国安局内部运作的故事，以及一个人的野心与失误如何揭开了其秘密宝库。
The Sixth Bureau podcast is a story of the inner workings of the MSS and how one man's ambition and mistakes opened its vault of secrets.
收听《第六局》，在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您常用的任何播客平台。
Listen to the sixth bureau on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是克莱顿·尼卡德。
I'm Clayton Neckard.
2022年，我曾担任ABC电视台《单身汉》节目的主演。
In 2022, I was the lead of ABC's The Bachelor.
但问题是。
But here's the thing.
《单身汉》的粉丝们讨厌他。
Bachelor fans hated him.
如果我能按下一个按钮
If I could press a button
让一切重来，我会的。
and rewind it all, I would.
就在那时，他的人生发生了令人不安的转折。
That's when his life took a disturbing turn.
一夜情最终竟以对簿公堂收场。
A one night stand would end in a courtroom.
媒体来了。
The media is here.
这个案子已经爆红了。
This case has gone viral.
恋爱合同。
The dating contract.
同意和我约会，但我同时要起诉你。
Agree to date me, but I'm also suing you.
这我以前从未见过。
This is unlike anything I've ever seen before.
我是斯蒂芬妮·杨。
I'm Stephanie Young.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple Podcasts 或你常用的播客平台收听《被爱囚禁》。
Listen to Loved Trapped on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
嘿。
Hey.
我是杰伊·沙蒂，播客《有目的》的主持人。
I'm Jay Shetty, host of the On Purpose podcast.
我今天邀请到了卢克·康布斯，这位获奖的乡村音乐艺术家是当今乐坛最真实的声音之一。
I'm joined by Luke Combs, award winning country music artist and one of the most authentic voices in music today.
那个总说会一直陪着你、愿意为你做任何事的人，恰恰是那个从不出现的人。
The guy that says he's always gonna be there and that will do anything to be there is the only guy that's not there.
不管怎样，我都会把妻子和孩子放在首位。
No matter what, I'm gonna prioritize my wife and my children.
我害怕和儿子的那场对话。
I dread the conversation with my son.
收听杰伊·沙蒂的《有目的》播客，可在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcasts或您常用的播客平台收听。
Listen to On Purpose with Jay Shetty on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是iHeart播客《保证真实》。
This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human.
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