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这是iHeart出品的播客《 Guaranteed Human 》。
This is an iHeart podcast, Guaranteed Human.
嘿。
Hey.
我是医生兼认知科学家玛雅·尚克，也是播客《计划微调》的主持人，这档节目探讨的是，当生活另作安排时，我们是谁，又会变成谁。
I'm doctor Maya Shanker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans.
真希望我没那么久地抗拒改变的必要性。
I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.
我们得学会接受一种谁都不喜欢的不确定性。
We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.
你当然可以有自己的观点。
You can have opinions.
你甚至可以立场鲜明。
You can have, like, a strong stance.
但你的身体呢？对吧。
And then there's your body Yeah.
它有自己的运行逻辑。
Having its own program.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或你常用的播客平台收听《计划微调》。
Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
在最近一期《金钱与财富》节目中，我采访了蒂芙尼——这位来自巴巴多斯的音乐人阿莉什，聊聊真正掌控金钱到底需要什么。
On a recent episode of the podcast Money and Wealth with John O'Brien, I sit down with Tiffany the Bajanista Aliche to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money.
那会是什么样子
What would that look
如果我们家家户户都能把财富传给下一代，对吧？
like in our families if everyone was able to pass on wealth Yes.
当人不在了之后？
To the people when they're no longer here?
我们会拆解预算、财务自律，还有如何从心态转变开始，真正积累财富——而这些，太多人一辈子都没人教过。
We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth starting with the mindset shifts too many of us were never ever taught.
如果你一直觉得没人跟你说过钱的事儿，这场对话就是为你准备的。
If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more.
收听来自黑人影响力网络的《金钱与财富》，主持人是约翰·奥布莱恩，可以在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple Podcast 或你常用的播客平台收听。
Listen to money and wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
威尔·法瑞尔的重磅财商节目，联合 iHeart 播客推出《足球妈妈》。
Will Ferrell's big money players and iHeart podcast presents soccer moms.
我是莉安。
So I'm Leanne.
对。
Yeah.
这是我的闺蜜珍妮特。
This is my best friend Janet.
嗨。
Hey.
我们从高中起就形影不离。
And we have been joined at the hips since high school.
没错。
Absolutely.
多年以后。
A redacted amount of years later.
我们俩还是形影不离。
We're still joined at the hip.
就是屁股稍微大了点。
Just a little bit bigger hips.
这是一档播客。
This is a podcast.
我们边在后院给孩子们的青年足球赛热身，边录这个节目，车是辆本田奥德赛。
We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey.
各种零食饮料都备齐了。
With all the snacks and drinks.
你怎么选了硬苏打酒，没选啤酒？
Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer?
因为搞买一送一啊。
Well, they hit a BOGO.
那你可算把他们拿下了。
Well, then you got them.
去 iHeartRadio 应用、苹果播客，或者你平时听播客的地方，收听那些 soccer 妈妈们的节目吧。
Listen to soccer moms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好。
Hi, everyone.
我是切丽尔·斯特雷德，《荒野》和《微小而美丽的事物》的作者。
I'm Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful Things.
我很开心告诉大家，我新开了一档播客，叫《心越群山》。
I'm excited to share that I have a new podcast called Mind Over Mountain.
每期节目里，我都会采访运动员、冒险家和极限爱好者，聊聊让他们完成那些惊人壮举的内心世界，帮我们更好地理解，该怎么面对自己人生里那些看似没法跨过去的坎儿。
In each episode, I interview athletes, adventurers, and adrenaline seekers to discuss the inner landscapes that informed and inspired their extraordinary feats so we too can better understand how to face our own seemingly insurmountable challenges.
每周四，记得在 iHeartRadio 应用、苹果播客，或者你平时听播客的地方，收听《心越群山》。
Listen to Mind Over Mountain every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我是迈尔斯·特纳。
I'm Myles Turner.
我是布里安娜·斯图尔特。
And I'm Brianna Stewart.
我们的播客《Game Recognized Game》以前从没人做过。
And our podcast, game recognized game has never been done before.
两个现役球员带你真实了解我们的生活，以及我们在场上场下真实的想法。
Two active players giving you a real look at our lives and what we actually think on and off the court.
啥都敢聊。
Nothing's off limits.
我们聊摆烂。
We talk tanking.
我这回答可能要惹麻烦了，但我感觉在WNBA里，这事儿确实存在。
I might get in trouble for this answer, but I think it's, like, definitely happening in the WBA.
我们也会聊自己的失误。
We talk about our mistakes too.
他们把我拉到一边，说：嘿，伙计。
They pulled me to the side and was like, hey, man.
昨晚我们接到电话了，兄弟。
We got a call last night, man.
比赛前一晚可别在城里这么瞎晃悠。
You can't be rolling around the city like this tonight before games.
赶紧去 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客或者你常用的播客平台收听《Game Recognized Game》by Studio Miles。
Check out game recognized game with Studio Miles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
我是杰玛·斯派克，欢迎回到《二十岁的心理课》，这档节目我们聊聊二十多岁人生里那些重大变化、关键时刻和转折，以及它们对心理的影响。
I'm Jemma Spike, and welcome back to the psychology ofyour20s, the podcast where we talk through the biggest changes, moments, and transitions of our twenties and what they mean for our psychology.
大家好。
Hello, everybody.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back to the show.
欢迎回来。
Welcome back to the podcast.
太开心你又回来了，继续跟我们一起拆解二十多岁的心理状态，而且今天这期特别重要。
It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we, of course, break down the psychology of our twenties and back for a very important episode at that.
我想做所有事，结果一件事都没做。
I want to do everything, so I do nothing.
今天我们就聊这个。
This is our topic for today.
我对自己和生活有好多梦想，可一个都没去追。
I have so many dreams for myself and my life, but I don't chase any of them.
我经常听到二十多岁的人这么说。
I hear this all the time from people in their twenties.
事实上，我觉得这是这十年里我听到最多的担忧。
In fact, I think it is the biggest worry I hear from people during this decade.
这不仅是现在让人不满足的根源，将来也会埋下隐患。
And it's also a major root of so much dissatisfaction, not just now, but in the future.
当然，这话听起来不一定这么直白。
Obviously, it doesn't always sound like that.
对吧？
Right?
其实听起来并不总是‘我想做所有事，结果啥也不干’那样。
It doesn't always sound like somebody being like, I wanna do everything but I do nothing.
而是‘我不知道该选哪个工作，干脆就待在这儿吧’。
It sounds like, I don't know which of these jobs to choose, so I'm just gonna stay where I am.
是‘我不知道该留下还是分手，那就先不动吧’。
It sounds like, I don't know whether to stay or leave my relationship, so I guess I'll just stay.
我不确定该追随热情还是追求稳定，干脆两样都不做。
I don't know whether to honor my passions or my need for stability, so I'll do neither.
我不知道该去旅行还是该存钱，那两样我都不干了。
I don't know whether to travel or whether to save, so I won't do either as well.
说到底，都是一回事。
All of it is the same.
归根结底，都是同一个核心困境。
It all comes back to this core dilemma.
我们对自己的期待、对梦想的渴望，太沉重了，反而把我们牢牢钉在原地。
Our expectations for ourselves, our our dreams, I guess, are so heavy that they often keep us pinned to one place.
安全是安全，可就是不开心。
Safe, but not very happy.
这个困境特别有意思，因为不是你下定决心就做不到想做的事。
This conundrum is so interesting to me because it's not that you can't achieve what you want if you set your mind to it.
也不是你没兴趣、没机会，或者没野心。
It's not that there is a lack of things that intrigue you or a lack of opportunities or ambition.
事实上，我常发现，陷入这种状态的人，恰恰是野心太大了。
In fact, I normally find that people who get stuck in this situation have an excess of ambition.
从心理上讲，这跟后悔有关。
Psychologically, it's about regret.
对吧？
Right?
而且更深层的，是恐惧。
And more than that, it is about fear.
从外面看，很容易觉得一个人到了这个阶段还原地踏步，就是懒、没纪律、没动力、没条理。
It is very easy from the outside to look at someone who is stagnant at this point in their life and to assume that they are just lazy, they lack discipline, they lack motivation, they lack structure.
但对大多数处于这种状态的人来说，根本不是这么回事。
I would say 80% of the time for people in this situation, that's not their problem.
没纪律？这根本不是问题。
A lack of discipline is not the problem.
真正困住他们的，是恐惧——害怕选错方向，不敢把精力专注到任何一条路上。
It is this fear that's holding them back from just choosing somewhere to direct their discipline.
所以今天，我们要聊的，就是到底发生了什么，以及我怎么帮你们把那些选项、那些梦想，真正挑一个出来，坚定地去追，哪怕你完全不知道最后会怎样。
So today, we're gonna talk about what's really going on and also my guide to taking all those options, taking all those dreams, and committing, choosing, chasing what you really want even if you are entirely unsure how it's gonna turn out.
好了，不多说了，咱们直接进入正题。
So without further ado, let's get into the episode.
咱们再回过头来看看这个核心矛盾：想把所有事都干了，又不知道该先试哪条路，结果啥也不干。
Let's return to this main dilemma, wanting to do it all, not knowing which path is worth trying first, so doing nothing.
最近我自己也一直在经历这种挣扎。
This has been something that personally I've been dealing with a lot recently.
咱们先请出肯。
Let's get Ken for a second.
我跟你说实话。
I'll be totally honest.
我做这个播客已经五年了。
I've been doing this podcast for five years now.
差不多把整个二十岁都搭进去了，就差一两年。
Literally for my entire twenties minus like one or two years.
我真心想在三十岁前做点别的事。
I honestly wanna do beyond this before I turn 30.
可就是迈不出任何一步。
And I just can't seem to take a step towards anything.
每周我都有个新点子，琢磨着怎么过好这最后几年的二十岁。
I feel like I have a new brilliant idea every week for how I want these last few years of my twenties to go.
我真的好想回去读博士，就像我一直以来想的那样。
You know, I really wanna go back and get my PhD like I always wanted to.
在做这个播客之前，我原本走的是那条路。
That was my path before this podcast happened.
我真的想创业。
You know, I really wanna launch a business.
我想再写一本书。
I wanna write another book.
我每天都会冒出一个创业点子。
I think about a business idea, like, every day.
我心里也想啥都不干，可这些事我一样都没做成。
Part of me also just wants to do nothing, but I have done none of these things.
我觉得可能是我在等一个完美的点子自己冒出来，给我足够的空间去把它彻底实现。
I think maybe because I'm leaving this invisible space for the most perfect fully formed idea to like come along and like to have the space to complete it.
我想要再体验一次像当初做播客时那种全身都被点燃的感觉。
I wanna have this like full body confirmation reaction that I had when I started the podcast.
那是我唯一一次有过这种感觉。
That's like the only time I've ever felt that.
因为我曾经体验过那种感觉，还冒险了一次，现在就觉得：也许我不用再冒险了。
And because I feel like I felt that once and because I took this one big risk, I'm like, oh, maybe I don't need to take risks anymore.
也许我只要顺其自然就行了。
Maybe I just need to coast.
说到底，就是我也不太清楚自己怎么了。
Maybe it really just comes down to the sense of like, I've just I don't know.
我觉得人生一路走来还挺顺的。
I feel like life has gone so well.
我拥有了这么多优势。
I've got all this privilege.
要是走错一步，简直对不起我到现在所有的好运。
Taking the wrong step would be a disservice to everything that's gone well in my life.
我还这么年轻，万一走偏了，后果可能太严重了。
And I'm so young that like to set off in the wrong direction feels like it would have such major consequences for me.
所以咱们得好好想想，为什么会有这种想法——你们也知道，我特别渴望自我觉察。
So let's interrogate why that is because you guys know I have a deep hunger for self awareness.
我不是那种能对问题置之不理的人。
I'm not somebody who can leave my problems alone.
这是我从研究中得出的结论。
This is what I've concluded from the research.
所以我觉得自己原地踏步了，相信你们很多人也和我一样。
This is why I feel like I'm staying still as I'm sure many of you are as well.
我之前提过恐惧这件事。
I know I mentioned fear.
我现在明白，其实归根结底是三种具体的恐惧。
What I've realized is that it really comes down to three distinct fears.
怕后悔、怕失败、怕被人评价。
The fear of regret, the fear of failure, and the fear of being judged.
怕被看穿。
The fear of being seen.
这些恐惧听起来挺像的。
Those kind of feel like similar fears.
它们其实差别特别大。
They are really really different.
咱们先说说大多数人最怕的那一个。
Let's start with the biggest primary fear for so many of us.
怕后悔。
The fear of regret.
怕有一天我们选了其中一条路。
The fear that we will choose one of these paths one day.
选了眼前这条岔路，五年、十年、十五年后，发现自己到了一个根本不想待的地方，还改不了了。
We will choose that one, that path branching out in front of us, and we will find ourselves five, ten, fifteen years down the line in a place we don't wanna be and unable to change it.
到时候会特别恨现在的自己，明明什么都不知道，却选了条错路。
We will find ourselves deeply resenting the version of us right now who didn't know any better and chose the wrong path.
其实，怕后悔、怕选错，归根结底是担心自己掌控不了局面。
The interesting thing about fearing regret or fearing the wrong outcome is that you're really just worried about a lack of control.
对吧？
Right?
这其实是一种特别人性的恐惧。
It's actually quite a human fear.
你真正担心的，是做出那些一旦启动就无法回头的选择。
And you're really just worried about putting things in motion that will be unchangeable.
说到底，我们心里都清楚：人类能掌控的远比自己想的少，而且我们的时间真的有限。
And what it really comes down to is this deep knowledge that we as humans have less control than we think, but also our time here is finite.
对吧？
Right?
我们不可能什么都做到。
We can't do it all.
那我们怎么才能百分百确定，哪个选择能最大程度带来快乐、减少痛苦呢？
So how do we know with certainty what choice is gonna maximize our pleasure and our happiness whilst minimizing our pain?
到底哪个选项才是快乐最大化、痛苦最小化的完美组合？
Which one of these is gonna be the perfect combination of max pleasure, minimal pain?
问题是，我们根本不知道。
The thing is we don't.
我们只能事后才明白。
We only know in hindsight.
有时候连事后都搞不清，因为根本不知道另一条路会不会更好。
Sometimes we don't even know in hindsight because there's no way of knowing if another path would have turned out any better.
说白了，现在你就得赌一把，选你觉得自己最可能对的那条路。
Really, at this point, like, you just have to bet on the one you think is best.
有意思的是，我觉得这正是关键所在：选择越多，我们越容易陷入过度分析的瘫痪，这还挺讽刺的。
What's ironic as well, and I think is a core part of this, is that the more choices we have, the more impactful and the more severe our paralysis analysis normally is, which is funny.
对吧？
Right?
我总觉得有种错觉，觉得选择越多、野心越大、梦想越多，反而越容易做决定，因为正确的那个自然会跳出来。
I think there's this logic that more choice and more ambition, more dreams means it will be easier to choose because the right one is gonna stand out.
但现实是，根本不是这么回事。
Unfortunately, like, that is not the case.
这其实有个专门的说法。
There is a term for this.
你肯定听过这个说法。
You've probably heard it.
你甚至可能在这档播客里听过。
You've probably even heard it on this podcast.
这叫选择悖论。
It is called the paradox of choice.
选择悖论这个词，其实并不是突然冒出来的。
The paradox of choice, was it kind of first appeared actually, it didn't kind of.
它最早是作为一本美国心理学家著作的书名出现的。
It first appeared as the title of a book by this American psychologist.
这位心理学家叫巴里·施瓦茨。
His name is Barry Schwartz.
在这本书里，巴里提到了一个非常著名的实验，可能是心理学史上最有名的实验之一。
And in this book, Barry talks about a very, very famous study, probably one of the most famous psychology studies of all time.
这个实验是在2000年做的。
It was conducted in the year 2000.
这个实验需要安排一名研究人员
What it involved was a researcher.
这名研究人员得在当地超市摆一个果酱试吃摊
A researcher setting up a jam stand at a local supermarket.
第一天，摊位上摆出了24种果酱
On day one, she has 24 jams.
第二天，她只摆了6种果酱
On day two, she only has six jams.
当时那个研究人员本来是这么想的：以我对人类心理学的了解，如果摆上24种果酱，肯定会有更多人掏钱买，因为这么多选项总能覆盖每个人的喜好。
The researcher was like, based on what I think I know about human psychology, when I have 24 jams, more people are gonna buy a jam because their preferences are gonna be reflected and represented by my options.
可结果让所有研究人员都大吃一惊：摆24种果酱的时候，最终能下定决心掏钱买的人居然只有3%。
The truth that really shocked researchers was when there were 24 jams, only 3% of people were able to make a decision and purchase something.
而如果只摆6种果酱，过来摊位的人里有30%最后都买了果酱。
When there were six jams, 30% of people who came to the stand bought a jam.
这是为什么呢？
Why?
因为选择太多的时候，其实并不会带来自由。
Because when we have too many choices, it actually doesn't equal freedom.
只会让人不知所措。
It equals overwhelm.
我们脑子里那张利弊清单太长了。
The pro con list that our mind is mentally working through is too large.
要比较50个选项，哪有那么容易，跟只选两个完全不一样。
It's too large to compare 50 options against each other versus two.
每多一个新选择，失望的风险就多一分，因为你总想着，万一这个新口味正是我最爱的呢？
And the risk of disappointment also increases with each new potential gem because each new potential gem offers, you know, a whole new flavor that we could really, really love.
我们说的其实不是果酱。
We're not really talking about jam.
对吧？
Right?
真的不是在聊果酱。
We're not talking about jam.
我们谈的是自己的人生。
We're talking about our lives.
还有那些我们想成为的理想自我，或者想拥有的未来。
And we're talking about the potential decisions or ideal selves or futures that we want to inhabit.
这让人瘫痪，还让人觉得不好意思——明明有这么多选择、这么多目标，却一个都选不了。
It is paralyzing and it also makes us feel silly to be complaining about having so many options, so many goals that we can't choose one.
但你的大脑真的会卡住。
But it stumps your brain.
它让你陷入‘什么也不做’的困境，主要是因为认知超载，再加上选错的代价太大、太可怕，反而逼得你干脆不选。
It creates the I do nothing part of this equation, mainly because of cognitive overload and because of the possibility of making the wrong choice is so large and profound that it drives our behavior kind of counter intuitively to make no choice.
这就是对遗憾的恐惧。
So that's the fear of regret.
第二是害怕失败。
Second is the fear of failure.
这跟对遗憾的恐惧不一样，对遗憾的恐惧是怕自己什么都不做。
This is different from our fear of regret because our fear of regret is about a fear of inaction.
就像放着石头不翻，眼睁睁看着机会溜走。
So like leaving a stone unturned, leaving an opportunity not taken.
我们对失败的恐惧，是害怕行动，害怕真真切切地犯错，而不是因为啥也不干而后悔。
Our fear of failure is about the fear of action and the fear of making a tangible mistake rather than a mistake derived from not doing anything at all.
就是害怕一旦投入，结果却让人失望，达不到自己梦想中那种生活该有的样子。
It is the fear of committing and then being disappointed or being, you know, not being able to meet the expectations for this dream or this life that we wanna create.
你知道吗？
You know what?
这事儿真可能发生。
That's a possibility.
这可不是瞎猜，是真有可能。
It's a real possibility.
我们可能根本没那个本事，一想到这心里就刺得慌，因为这事儿直接跟自尊、自我价值、面子全绑一块儿了，那些让人头疼的小情绪。
We might not have what it takes and it really stings to think about it because it gets all tied up in our self worth, our self esteem, our ego, like those little pesky things that we have to deal with.
没人愿意觉得自己配不上梦想，或者明明就差那么一点，却因为自己的原因没赶上。
Nobody wants to feel like they weren't good enough or big enough for their dreams or that they got so so close and missed it because of something that they did.
这可是个需要认真面对的现实。
That is a big reality to consider.
你知道吗？
And you know what?
有些人真会想：我觉得我扛不住那后果，所以我不敢冒这个险。
Sometimes people do decide, I don't think I could survive that, so I don't wanna take that risk.
对失败的恐惧太响亮了。
The fear of failure is too loud.
但我真心觉得，很多问题其实根子在于缺乏自我接纳。
But I truly believe that, like, a lot of this really comes down to a lack of self acceptance.
更具体地说，是缺乏对自己的信任。
And more specifically, a lack of self trust.
就是总觉得万一出事了，自己根本撑不住。
Like this belief that like bad things could happen and you won't be able to survive them.
要是事情没按理想发展，你就活不下去了。
If things do not grow perfectly well, you will not live.
你撑不住的。
You will not be able to endure it.
失败会定义你。
Failure will become you.
失败会变成你心里挥之不去的状态。
Failure will be a permanent state of mind that you will remain in.
但事实不是这样，也永远不会是这样。
The thing is it's not and it won't be.
你可以一次又一次地再试。
You can try again and again and again and again.
实际上，大多数人都是这么做的，也会继续这么做。
In fact, most people do and will.
你一定会好好的。
You're gonna be totally fine.
尤其是你二十多岁的时候，有点失败反而对你有好处。
In fact, a little bit of failure, think especially in your twenties, is like healthy for you.
这是健康情绪饮食的一部分，因为它证明你在努力，也在主动靠近运气和机会。
It's part of a healthy emotional diet because it proves you are trying and you're putting yourself in the path of luck and opportunity.
这次没砸中你，但下次可就说不准了。
And it didn't hit you this time, but it could hit you next time.
我觉得也正因如此，趁年轻，尤其是二十多岁的时候，早点让自己习惯失败，让小挫折慢慢来，才能证明你真有本事扛住更大的打击。
I also think that's why, again, inoculating yourself against failure as early as you can in life in your twenties, like, basically allowing little failures to come in proves how capable you are of surviving what might be a bigger failure.
如果你想要一种精彩的人生——那种可能有一天会降临的人生。
And if you want a big life, like, that may one day present itself.
大的失败迟早会出现。
The possibility of big failures is gonna be there.
但这真没什么大不了的。
But it's no big deal.
你早就打过预防针了。
You've inoculated yourself.
你已经接种了失败疫苗。
You got the failure vaccine.
其实，这根本难不倒你。
Like, it is nothing that you can't handle.
2003年有一项特别有意思的心理学研究，叫《对失败的恐惧：朋友还是敌人》，它讲的是，我们对失败的恐惧并不是单一的。
There is this incredible piece of psychology research from 2003 titled fear of failure friend or foe, which basically talks about how our fear of failure is not a singular thing.
你对失败的恐惧，可能会让你更拼命努力。
Your fear of failure can either lead you to work harder.
这种反应叫‘拼命型应对’，但也可能让你变得防御性十足。
This is what they call an overstriver response to failure, or it can lead you to develop defensive behaviors.
这叫‘自我保护型的怕失败’。
This is called a self protective fear of failure.
所以，要么是拼命型，要么是自我保护型。
So overstriver or self protective.
关键是，你得当个拼命型的人。
The thing is you wanna be an overstriver.
如果你就是没法摆脱对失败的恐惧，至少别怕得躺平，要怕得去拼。
If you cannot stop fearing failure, at least fear failure in a striving manner.
把它当成动力，别让它一开头就拖垮你。
Use it as a motivator, not as something that's gonna handicap you from the start.
把它当成一面镜子，提醒自己：我可不想这样。
Use it as something to look at and be like, I don't want that.
最大的失败，就是什么都不选。
And the biggest failure is not choosing.
我会拼尽全力。
I'm gonna work really hard.
今天我们还得聊聊最后一个恐惧：不只是害怕失败，更是害怕别人看见你失败，害怕被评判。
Our final fear that we need to touch on today is the fear of not just failing, the fear of being seen to fail or the fear of judgment from others.
而且，面对这么多选择时，有时候你还会担心：我的方向会不会让人糊涂？
Also, part of this is with all these choices, sometimes the fear of confusing people with your direction.
有时候选了别的路，事情没办好，就怕别人在背后议论你。
Sometimes like something not going right choosing something else and thinking that people are gonna judge you for that.
我经常跟那些因为‘我想什么都做’反而‘什么都不敢做’的人聊天，这种顾虑简直太常见了。
When I talk to people who have this similar I wanna do everything so I do nothing fear, this actually comes up so often.
我们总觉得答应了别人要成为某种人。
It's this idea that we have promised people.
我们得一直做同一件事，固定在一个身份里。
We are this one type of person committed to doing this one type of thing.
可要是换了方向，选了别的路，别人会不会觉得我们是骗子？
And so choosing something different or veering off course, maybe that makes us a liar.
会不会觉得我们特别奇怪、不正常？
Maybe people would think weirdly, strangely about us.
会不会觉得我们没毅力、太任性，或者根本选不准方向？
Maybe they would think that like we're not disciplined or like we're entitled or like we just can't choose a lane.
就因为怕别人说三道四，我们连尝试都不敢。
That potential for social judgment keeps us small in anticipation.
对此我只想说：管他呢？
To this I say, literally who cares?
你完全可以是个斜杠青年。
Be multi hyphenate.
有勇气直接说：这事没成。
Have the courage to just say, that didn't work out.
接下来干嘛？
What's next?
大胆点，让人对你这么多兴趣感到困惑吧。
Have the courage to confuse people with how many interests you have.
要是他们老惦记你，那你已经赢了。
If they're thinking about you that much, you win.
你才是他们脑子里占地方的那个人。
You are the one with the mental real estate in their mind.
你有那么大的目标，早就进了他们的视线。
You're the one with the goals big enough that they are on their radar.
这太疯狂了。
That's crazy.
那人对你的目标的关注，可能比你还多。
That person's thinking about your goals probably more than you're thinking about them.
你敢去尝试，而不是光在一旁评判别人的努力。
You're the one with the audacity to try rather than just to judge others for trying.
这才是真正的赢家。
That makes you a winner.
就算你公开失败了，或者不管干啥没成，你还是赢了。
Even if you publicly fail at something or whatever it is you're trying, you still win.
有时候，抱着‘反正没人记得这事’这种有点存在主义的心态，反而特别有力量。
Sometimes even having that rather slightly existential mindset of nobody's gonna remember this anyway is really powerful.
这其实是一种斯多葛式的心态——你跟结果、跟别人的看法拉开了距离，看得特别清楚，从大局来看根本不算啥。
It's a very stoic mindset to have because you put distance between yourself, the potential outcome, and this person's potential opinion, and you see it really clearly in the grand scheme of things.
临终那一刻，没人会在乎他们怎么看你。
Their opinion will not matter on your deathbed.
真正让你后悔的，是因为你怕他们的看法，没去做内心真正想做的事。
What will matter is realizing you didn't do the things your heart really called you to do because of their opinion.
那才叫真正在乎的事。
That will matter.
你知道还有什么更重要吗？
You know what will also matter?
能够对自己说：我不管怎样还是做了。
Getting to tell yourself the story that you did it anyway.
过一种真正契合内心、自由自在、充满意义的生活，那种生活，他们连做梦都想不到，因为你只说了一句：我不在乎。
Having a life of alignment, freedom, purpose that that person could never dream about because you just said, I do not care.
谢谢你的看法。
Thank you for your opinion.
祝你今天愉快。
Have a nice day.
有时候——这也是我常做的一个心理练习——把人生看成分成两队，特别有帮助。
Sometimes, and this is another mental exercise I do, it's really helpful to see life as divided into teams.
一队是敢去尝试的人，另一队是根本不敢行动的人。
The people who had the audacity to try and the people who didn't.
你觉得哪一队更开心？
Which team do you think is having more fun?
你觉得哪一队更开心？
Which team do you think is happier?
你觉得哪一队在这世上过得更爽？
Which team do you think is having a better time on this earth?
当然是敢闯的那队。
The audacity team.
这还用说吗。
Duh.
加入他们吧。
Be part of that team.
好。
Okay.
我们先休息一小会儿，回来后我给你一份选东西的指南。
We're gonna take a short break here, but when we return, I wanna give you a guide to picking.
咱们一起挑。
Let's let's pick together.
你打算先做什么？
What are you gonna do first?
今天你打算专注哪件事？
What's the interest that you're gonna commit to today?
别走开，继续看下去。
Stay with us.
这段短暂的休息之后，我们揭晓全部内容。
We're gonna reveal all after this short break.
你当然可以有自己的看法。
You can have opinions.
你甚至可以立场特别鲜明。
You can have, like, a strong stance.
但你的身体自有它的运行程序。
And then there's your body having its own program.
我是医生。
I'm Doctor.
玛雅·尚克，认知科学家，也是播客《计划的小调整》的主持人，这档节目讲的是当生活另作安排时，我们是谁，又会变成谁。
Maya Shanker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans.
我们分享故事和科学洞见，帮大家更好地度过这些动荡与转变的时期。
We share stories and scientific insights to help us all better navigate these periods of turbulence and transformation.
有一个始终不变的发现：我们的韧性，来自于我们的人际关系。
There is one finding that is consistent and that is that our resilience rests on our relationships.
真希望我当初没那么久地抗拒改变的必要性。
I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need to change.
我们得愿意接受一种谁都不喜欢的不确定性。
We have to willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客，或者你常用的任何播客平台收听《计划的小调整》。
Listen to A Slight Change of Plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
我走过去，坐在他面前的小凳子上。
I went and sat on the little ottoman in front of him.
我跟他打了个招呼：‘爸，我来了。’
I was, hi, dad.
我刚说完，我妈就从厨房出来，说：我烤了饼干，还热了牛奶。
And just when I said that, my mom comes out of the kitchen, and she says, I have some cookies and milk.
这真是绝了。
This is badass convictment.
没错。
Right.
刚满五年。
Just finished five years.
我要把饼干和牛奶带到办公室去吃。
I'm gonna have cookies and milk at my office.
对。
Yeah.
在《Steno Show》播客里，每期都带你走进关于康复、韧性和救赎的真诚坦率对话。
On the Steno Show podcast, each episode invites you into a raw unfiltered conversations about recovery, resilience, and redemption.
最近一期，我跟演员、文化偶像丹尼·特乔聊了聊成瘾、转变，还有第二次机会的力量。
On a recent episode, I sit down with actor, cultural icon Danny Trejo to talk about addiction, transformation, and the power of second chances.
第二季全集现已上线，你可以一口气看完，里面还有蒂芙尼·阿迪什、约翰尼·诺克斯维尔等嘉宾的精彩对话。
The entire season two is now available to binge, featuring powerful conversations with guests like Tiffany Adish, Johnny Knoxville, and more.
我是个酒鬼。
I'm an alcoholic.
如果没有这东西，我就活不下去了。
And without this drug, I'm a die.
打开你免费的 iHeartRadio 应用。
Open your free iHeartRadio app.
搜‘Steno Show’，现在就听吧。
Search the Sino Show and listen now.
我之前觉得这事儿简直像做梦，直到我真开始赚钱了。
I feel like it was a little bit unbelievable until I really start making money.
现在是财商教育月，播客《穷着吃》带来关于金钱、成长和规划未来的真实对话。
It's financial literacy month, and the podcast eating while broke is bringing real conversations about money, growth, and building your future.
这个月，你将听到顶级主播佐伊·斯宾塞和风投人拉基莎·兰德伦·皮埃尔分享她们从一无所有到步步高升的经历。
This month, hear from top streamer, Zoe Spencer, and venture capitalist, Lakisha Landrum Pierre, as they share their journeys from starting out to leveling up.
我跟爸妈在外面，一看到有人跑来要跟我合影，我就懵了：这啥情况？
If I'm outside with my parents and they see all these people come up to me for pictures, it's like, what?
现在嘛，他们完全信了。
Today now, obviously, it's like 100%.
他们觉得我干的这行真靠谱。
They believe everything.
但一开始，他们老说：你得去找个正经工作。
But at first, it was just like, you gotta go get a real job.
社区的发展，其实跟经济息息相关。
There's an economic component to community striving.
要是社区里没钱、没人创业，那就会垮掉。
If there's not enough money and entrepreneurship happening in communities, they fail.
我说的垮掉，就是连饭钱都挣不来。
And what I mean by fail is they don't have money to pay for food.
孩子都吃不上饭。
They cannot feed their kids.
他们连家都没有。
They do not have homes.
社区要想运转起来，钱必须得流起来。
Communities don't work unless there's money flowing through them.
收听《Black Effect Podcast Network》出品的《吃穷日常》，可在iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcast或其他任意播客平台收听。
Listen to eating while broke from the Black Effect Podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
嗨。
Hi.
我是鲍勃·皮特曼，iHeartMedia的董事长兼首席执行官，今天正式开启我的新一季播客《数学与魔法：营销前沿的故事》。
I'm Bob Pittman, chairman and CEO of iHeartMedia, and I'm kicking off a brand new season of my podcast, math and magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing.
《数学与魔法》带你深入全球最大企业和行业的幕后，分享营销界最聪明头脑的洞见。
Math and magic takes you behind the scenes of the biggest businesses and industries while sharing insights from the smartest minds in marketing.
我会采访从娱乐界到金融界，以及中间各个领域的领军人物。
I'm talking to leaders from the entertainment industry to finance and everywhere in between.
这一季《数学与魔法》里，我将对话Liquid Death的CEO迈克·塞萨里奥、金融家兼公共健康倡导者迈克·米尔肯，还有Take Two Interactive的CEO斯特劳斯·泽尔尼克。
This season on Math and Magic, I'm talking to CEO of Liquid Death, Mike Cesario, financier and public health advocate, Mike Milken, Take Two Interactive CEO, Strauss Zelnick.
如果你不敢承担有实质意义的创意风险，怕犯下糟糕的创意错误，那你就别想在这行混下去。
If you're unable to take meaningful creative risk and therefore run the risk of making horrible creative mistakes, then you can't play in this business.
《芝麻街》的CEO谢丽·韦斯顿，还有我们自己的首席业务官丽莎·科菲。
Sesame Street CEO, Sherry Weston, and our own chief business officer, Lisa Coffey.
让听众真正感受到人声的价值，感受到背后那份真实可靠的人性承诺，这才是让它脱颖而出的关键。
Making consumers see the value of the human voice and to have that guaranteed human promise behind it really makes it rise to the top.
收听《数学与魔法》——来自营销前沿的故事，就在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客，或者你常用的任何播客平台。
Listen to Math and Magic, stories from the frontiers of marketing on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
你听那些聊AI、科技和人类未来的播客时，主持人个个都像无所不知的专家，啥都懂。
When you listen to podcasts about AI and tech and the future of humanity, the hosts always like they know what they're talking about, and they are experts at everything.
在《尼克·迪克与波尔秀》这儿，我们压根不怕犯错。
Here at the Nick Dick and Pole show, we're not afraid to make mistakes.
库格勒做的那件事，我觉得特别独特
What Coogler did that I think was so unique
他是谁？
Who's he?
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他是编剧兼导演。
He's the writer director.
你觉得他是谁啊？
Who who do you think he is?
我也不知道。
I don't know.
你见过总统吗？
Do you meet the, like, the president?
你真以为他知道总统？你还以为加拿大有总统？
You think he knows the pres you think Canada has a president.
你真以为中国有总统？
You think China has a president?
欧莱雅克鲁塞特。
L'Oreal cruzette.
天啊，我超爱这个。
God, I love that thing.
我天天都在用。
I use it all the time.
你选的是什么颜色啊？
What color I
我把它裹在毯子里，还对着它唱歌什么的。
wrap it in a blanket and sing to it at, like
这就像老波兰人说的：不是我的猴子，不归我管。
It's like the old Polish saying, not my monkeys, not my circus.
对啊。
Yep.
那真是句好话。
It was a good one.
我喜欢这句话。
I like that saying.
这确实是句波兰俗语。
It's an actual Polish saying,
对了，
by the way.
确实是。
It is.
这真是个
Is an actual
波兰俗语。
Polish saying.
更好的说法是：玩傻瓜的游戏，就得接受傻瓜的奖赏。
Better version of play stupid games, win stupid prizes.
没错。
Yes.
是啊。
Yeah.
顺便说一句，第一个说这句话的并不是泰勒·斯威夫特。
Which which, by the way, wasn't Taylor Swift who said that for the first time.
我本来还以为真是她呢。
I actually I thought it was.
我弄错了。
I got that wrong.
去iHeartRadio应用、Apple Podcast或者你常用的播客平台，收听Nick、Dick和Paul的节目。
Listen to the Nick, Dick, and Paul show on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
你得真正接受这个事实。
Here is the truth that you've got to get really comfortable with.
不行。
No.
你不可能事事都做。
You cannot do it all.
真的做不到。
You just can't.
我们人类时间有限，这是个现实限制，但只要你能摆脱决策瘫痪，其实你能完成的远比你想象的多。
That's one of the limits that we face as humans with finite time, but you can do a lot more than you think if you are able to surpass your decision paralysis.
我来跟你们说说我具体是怎么做的，我以后会怎么继续做，过去我也一直是这么做的。
And here is exactly how I would go about it, how I'm gonna try to go about it, and how I have in the past, I will say.
第一，别想着把六七十年的人生目标全塞进接下来的几个月或几年里。
Number one, stop trying to cram sixty to seventy years of goals and life into the next few months or the next few years.
别把人生时间线压缩得太狠。
Stop compressing your timeline.
记住，目标需要时间，人生经历往往来得比你想象的更晚，也更意想不到。
And remember, like, goals take time, experiences come later on in life and in stranger ways than you would ever expect.
如果你啥都想一口气搞定，那只会让你很快对梦想失去信心，被梦想压垮，给自己太大压力，最后啥也干不成。
And if you try to do everything at once, that is a very quick way to becoming disillusioned with your dreams, burnt out by your dreams, putting a lot of pressure on yourself, and also never getting anything done.
现在就想把所有事都做完？那简直是灾难。
Like, doing it all right now would be a disaster.
你应该这么来做：
This is what you have to do instead.
我希望你把二十多岁——其实任何一个人生阶段都一样——看作一部电视剧，分成五个季节。
I want you to treat your twenties and with that in mind, any decade of your life really, like it is made up of five seasons, like a TV show.
我在我那本《成长中的人》里也聊过这个，如果你想买的话。
I spoke about this in my book, Person in Progress, by the way, if you wanna buy it.
不管你把人生或每个十年分成两年一季、三年一季，还是五年一季，你都得找到一种方式，让你的人生不是一堆年份堆在一起，一年接一年地往前挤。
But whether you divide your life or your decades up into seasons of two years, seasons of three years, maybe even five, you have to find a way to mentally represent your life so that it's not just like one clump of years extending out in front of you one year after the next.
而应该是有段落的。
Instead, there are segments.
每一季都会有新角色、新成长线、新转折、新目的地、新配角。
Each new season is gonna have different characters, different character arcs, different plot twists, different destinations, different supporting characters.
就像美剧的每一季，差别真的特别大。
Like, there's gonna be so much that's gonna be different like different seasons in a TV show.
场景不一样，啥都不一样。
Different sets, different everything.
每一段里，你都得选一个主要目标和一个次要目标。
And in each season, you have to choose your major focus and your minor focus.
直到你对这个目标感到厌了，或者完成了，又或者你突然意识到——这根本不是你想要的。
And until you realize you are bored of that focus or you finish that focus or you're not, you know, you realize it's not for you.
你就坚持下去。
You stick with it.
全力以赴。
You give it everything.
别被别的事带偏了。
You don't get sidetracked.
接下来三到五年，你的主要目标可能是：拿个学位、创业、开个播客、写本书、去旅行、搞表演、攒钱买房。
A major focus for the next three to five years could be finish my degree, launch my business, launch my podcast, write my book, travel, pursue acting, save for a property.
而次要目标嘛，每年都可以换，比如培养点新爱好、交个新朋友、找到自己的穿搭风格、跑个半马。
And then your minor focus which can change like every year is something like get more hobbies, make a new friend, figure out my personal style, run a half marathon.
就是更偏向个人生活的东西。
Something that's kind of more personal.
肯定不是那种跟事业或钱直接挂钩的。
Definitely something that's not as like career or finance focused.
两年、三年、五年，选个对你合适的周期就行。
Two years, three years, five years, whatever segment works for you.
这段时间里，你得一心一意盯着你的主要目标。
During that time, you have to focus on your major goal.
这就是你唯一要做的事。
That is your only objective.
但又不是一辈子这样，就这一段时期而已。
Because it's not gonna be forever, it's just gonna be for this period.
等过了三年，你就完全可以去尝试新东西、转方向，或者悄悄对自己说：‘嘿，这个我已经搞定了。’
And after, let's say, three years, you have all the permission in the world to try something new or to pivot or to, like, quietly know, hey, I've accomplished that one.
这正是我想什么都试试的一部分。
That's part of the I wanna do everything.
我先把这一件给完成了。
I did that one thing.
等它稳住了，我再去干别的。
And that can remain stable whilst I go and do my other things.
我可以说：这事我干成了。
Like, I can say I did it.
我可以说我试过了。
I can say I tried it.
现在该去干点别的了。
Now it's time to go do something else.
当年我辞职全职做播客的时候，确实跟自己说，给你两年时间，拼一把。
You know, when I quit my job to do my podcast full time, I did say I'm gonna give myself two years to to just give it everything.
现在一晃都三年了。
And now it's like been three years later.
三年过去了，我打算转去做别的了，还有很多想做的事呢。
It's been three years and now I'm pivoting into doing other things like there are other things I wanna do.
这三年，我把大半时间都投在了播客上。
I've given the podcast outside of my job such a big chunk of my time.
现在我开始做视频播客了。
Now I'm doing video podcast.
我还正在写另一本书。
Now I'm writing, like, writing another book.
现在我在做这些别的事了。
Like, now I'm doing these other things.
这些占了我的时间，我也不再因为没把之前那件事做到极致而愧疚了。
Like, that gets my time now and I don't feel guilty for not having given this previous thing my all.
你要是能把时间分段，明确说‘这段时间干这个，以后再干那个’，你的每个梦想才有空间生长，而不是像关鸡一样，全塞进一个笼子里挤来挤去。
When you segment, when you say this is my time for this and later this will be my time for that, you give your individual dreams the space to breathe rather than like treating them like freaking cage chickens and cramming them all in with all the others.
简单来说，我就想给你一个顺口溜：一次只追一个梦。
I feel like just to simplify this easily and just to make it like a a quick mantra, date one dream at a time.
接下来你可能会问：那我该先追哪个梦呢？
A question that will probably come from this is like, what dream do I prioritize first?
我觉得这问题其实挺容易答的，说不上是特权，就是很简单。
I think this is actually rather I don't know if this is privilege to say, think it's a rather easy question to answer.
你只需要用你的‘遗憾温度计’来测一测。
You just have to use your regret thermometer here.
所谓‘遗憾温度计’，就是问自己：哪个事儿我将来最后悔没做？
Your regret thermometer is basically like asking yourself, what's the one I'm gonna regret the most?
哪个想法让我最后悔？
What one hits the highest regret level in my mind?
要是我只剩三个月可活，躺在病床上时，我会最懊悔没去做的那件事是什么？
Like, what's the one that if I am on my deathbed and I If I die in like three months, I'm gonna be like, why did I not do that specifically?
那曾经是我一个特别大的目标。
That was a huge goal of mine.
我为啥就没去做呢？
Why did I not do that?
我还认为，你可以静下心来好好想想：如果要选第一件要做的事，我的核心价值到底是什么？
I also think a good exercise to do is just to sit down and really identify like, if I'm gonna choose the first thing I pursue, what are my values?
我真正在乎的是什么？
What do I actually care about?
你真正想要的生活是什么样的？
What is the life you really want?
不是你以为自己该要的生活，也不是别人希望你过的生活。
Not the life you think you want, not the life others want for you.
你真正想要的生活是什么？
What is the life you want?
你能说清楚吗？
Can you identify it?
是财富吗？
Is it wealth?
是创造力吗？
Is it creativity?
是人与人之间的联结吗？
Is it connection?
是安稳、刺激，还是冒险？
Is it comfort, excitement, adventure?
如果想要冒险，别一上来就选个死板的公司工作。
If it's adventure, don't choose the strict corporate job first.
那种路子根本不可能是第一步。
Like that cannot be the first pathway.
如果你最看重的是冒险，那这个目标可以往后放。
If your priority or main value is adventure, that can come later.
如果你内心清楚，就只想过一种有创意、艺术感、自由自在的生活，那就别一上来就选个从一开始就捆住你的梦想。
If a part of you really just knows, just wanna live a creative, artistic, free life, don't choose the dream, the first dream to be one that restricts you straight out the gate.
把那个当成B计划吧。
Make that plan b.
把你真正想做的事，全列出来。
Take all the things that, like, you really wanna do.
干脆，写个超长的清单。
Write, like, a a massive list.
其实你现在就可以开始做。
Actually, like, you can do this right now.
写个长长的清单。
Write a massive list.
只要是那些你还没到百分之百想为之献身的事，都写上。
Anything that you're, like, not a 100%, like, I would wanna give my life to this.
现在先划掉它。
Cross it off for now.
以后再做也没关系。
Something you can do later.
我觉得我们之所以选不了想做的事，一半原因是因为清单上有一半根本不是我们真正在意的。
Like, I think half the reason why we can't choose what we wanna do is because half of the things on our list are things that we don't actually care about.
我们坐下来，脑子里一堆念头：我想当医生，我想到处旅行，我想开个救助中心，我想当艺术家，我想当妈妈，我想当爸爸……但等等，其实有一半根本不是我们真心想做的。
I think that, like, we sit down with all these thoughts like, but I wanna be a doctor and I wanna be I wanna travel all the time and I wanna run my rescue center and I wanna be an artist or I wanna be a mom or I wanna be a dad and we're like, but wait, half those things are not things we actually wanna do.
那一半其实是你觉得别人期待你去做的。
Half those things are things that we think other people want from us.
那些是你觉得自己‘应该’想要的东西。
Like, those things are things that we expect ourselves to want.
所以，认真翻一遍你的清单，尽可能多划掉，直到剩下那个最让你心动的。
So genuinely, go through that list, cross out as many as possible until you get to the one that really stands out.
那时候，你的遗憾温度计就会告诉你答案了。
That is where your regret thermometer is gonna send you.
尤其是你要是二十多岁，时间多得是。
Especially, again, like, if you are in your twenties, you have so much time.
那些备选方案，以后再考虑也不迟。
Those things, those plan b's, like, they can come later.
你有的是时间慢慢安定下来。
You have heaps of time to settle.
这种事，你有的是时间。
You have heaps of time for that.
现在别急着做决定。
Just don't do it now.
这种机会，永远都在。
Like, it's always gonna be that.
你随时都可以安定下来。
You can settle.
正因如此，才叫‘安定’嘛。
That's why it's called settling.
你想干嘛都行。
You can do whatever you want.
但现在可没法随心所欲，想干嘛就干嘛。
You can't always do what you wanna do right now whenever you want.
你可能没钱、没资源、也没稳定，但你有干劲。
Like, you may not have money or connections or stability, but you have gusto.
你有热情。
You have enthusiasm.
你大概也没什么负担。
You have less obligation probably.
这可是个优势。
That is an asset.
这正是你时间的最大资本。
Like, that is the asset of your time.
求你了，好好利用它，做点好事、做点有趣的事，或者随便干点啥都行。
Please, please use it for something good and something fun or use it for literally anything.
做什么都行，只要你真在乎就行。
Doesn't matter what as long as you care about it.
我第三个特别想让你做的，是给自己定个决策截止时间。
The third thing I really want you to do is set decision timelines for yourself.
跟自己说好了，就一定要说到做到，按时开始。
Tell yourself and commit to starting when you say you will.
在某个具体日期前做出决定。
Make a choice by a certain date.
如果你真想从小处着手，那就先做点微小的风险尝试。
And then if you really wanna go small, like, just do some micro risks.
就先承诺两个月试试。
Commit for, like, two months.
越小越好，越简单越好。
Just like go as small as possible.
你就跟自己说：我一定要在这个时间点前做决定。
Just be like, I'm gonna make a decision by here by this time.
这就是你要做的决定。
This is the decision.
那接下来是两个月、两周，还是两年？
Now, for the next two months, two weeks, two years?
我就先试试看。
Like, I'm just gonna test it out.
对吧？
Right?
小步走。
Baby steps.
这些小步特别关键，因为它们能减轻那种孤注一掷、无法回头的巨大心理压力。
Those baby steps are so crucial because they they reduce the mental threat of an all in, like, full stakes, no take backs life change.
这点特别重要，因为你现在可能正被各种压力和焦虑压得喘不过气。
And that's really important because probably something you're dealing with is just a lot of overwhelm and stress.
这样你就能专心应对眼前的事了。
So this just lets you concentrate on what's right in front of you.
别去想那些两三年、甚至十五年后的宏大目标，那简直是个让人吓破胆的怪物。
Not the big outcome like two, three, fifteen years down the line that is like its own scary monster level of fearful and terrifying.
挑一个你接下来两个月能做的事，朝着你的一个梦想迈出第一步。
Pick something you can do in the next two months for one of your dreams and action it.
最后，我想让你记住两件事。
Finally, I want you to remember two final things.
第一，你随时可以跳转到不同的人生轨迹。
Firstly, you can jump across timelines.
做人生选择，不是把自己绑在一列铁轨上，再也下不来了。
Making a choice in life isn't like strapping yourself to a train aboard unmovable tracks like that you can never get off.
更像是在森林里徒步，发现走错路了，就拨开灌木丛，换个方向走。
It's like hiking through a forest where you can, like, push through the dense bush to change tracks when you realize that you're lost.
你可以灵活调整。
You can be flexible.
如果你不喜欢自己最终过上的生活，你根本不是被困住的。
If you don't like the life that you end up creating, you are not stuck there.
你可以借用其他梦想中的一些部分。
You can borrow parts of other dreams that you have.
你可以重新回学校。
You can go back to school.
你可以从头再来。
You can start over.
你可以从新手做起。
You can practice as a novice.
你可以自己在森林里开出一条路。
You can cut your own path through the forest.
你不是因为上了第一趟列车，就被困在某条人生路上了。
It's not you are not tied to any particular life path just because it's the first train you got on.
你可以随时下车。
You can get off.
有很多站都任你下车。
There's heaps of stops for you to get off.
这些根本不是什么铁板钉钉的合同。
Like, these are not locking contracts.
你有选择的自由。
You have agency.
没有哪条条款是改不了的。
There are not clauses that are unchangeable.
只要你真想改，随时都能改——只要你有那份心，而我相信，既然你都在考虑这些选项，你肯定有这个条件。
You can change at any time if you if you want to, if you have, like, the spirit, and if you have the resources that I'm sure you do if you're considering all these choices.
再说第二点，也是我想早点明白的：你现在这么在意能不能选对，本身就说明你一辈子都会在意。
And secondly, the final reminder, the one I wish I knew sooner, the very fact that you care now about making the right choice shows that you will always care.
你担心自己做不到面面俱到，担心未来的自己会后悔，这恰恰证明你对自己的人生是有责任感的。
The very fact that you are worrying about not being able to do it all, worrying about your future self, worrying about regrets shows that you have accountability over your life.
就算哪天你发现自己过上了根本不是你想要的生活，那种不安和动力依然在，它会推着你去改变。
And if you someday do encounter a life that you didn't sign up for, that emotional reaction, that same motivation is still there and it's gonna propel you to change.
我以前有个教授跟我说过，真正让我担心的，从来不是那些纠结选不选对的人。
I had this professor say to me once, the people who are anxious about making the right decision are never the ones I worry about.
我反而担心那些无动于衷的人。
I worry about the ones who are apathetic.
我担心那些根本不焦虑的人，因为那说明他们根本不上心。
I worry about the ones who don't worry because that shows a lack of buy in.
他这话一说，我整个人都豁然开朗了。
So that, like, changed my life when he said that.
你最大的错误，从来都不是犯错。
Like, the biggest mistake you can make will never be making a mistake.
而是没勇气去改正，或者根本不在乎去改。
It will be not having the guts to fix the mistake or not caring enough to fix the mistake.
你显然很在意。
You obviously care.
所以你现在才这么焦虑。
That's why you're so worried right now.
你心里一直都会有这种力量和动力，推着你去改变自己的人生。
You obviously will always continue to have this force and this motivation in you that will want you to change your life.
所以不管你选什么，你都会没事的。
So choose whatever you choose and you will be fine.
你会好好的，因为你根本不是无动于衷的人。
Like, you will be okay because you are not apathetic.
你所有的担心，恰恰证明了这一点。
That's what all this worry proves.
今天我就先说到这儿了。
So that is all I have time for today.
我的长篇大论就到这里了——关于想把所有事都干了，结果一件都没干。
That is the end of my big rant about wanting to do it all and not doing any of it.
希望这些话能帮到你做决定。
I hope that this has helped you make a choice.
至少希望它能让你明白：从小步开始就行。
I hope that it's at least helped you to be like baby step.
大胆一点，能带你走很远。
Like, audacity takes you a long way.
我该在哪儿大胆一把？
What am I gonna be audacious about?
接下来这段时间，我该专心做点啥？不是一辈子，就一小会儿。
What am I gonna just concentrate on now just for the next little while, not forever?
希望我把这事儿拆开讲清楚后，你能更明白为啥这事儿难，又该怎么突破。
I hope that breaking it down has made that, like, the process behind why this is hard and how to overcome it a lot easier.
如果你听到这儿了，而且是在Spotify上听的，底下留个言吧。
If you have made it this far and you were listening on Spotify, leave a comment down below.
你的梦想是什么？
What is the dream?
你这辈子最想要的终极梦想到底是什么？
What is the ultimate dream that you have for your life?
为什么不呢？
Why not?
把它放出去，交给宇宙吧。
Put it out into the universe.
你最希望发生的事到底是什么？
What is like the thing that you really want to have happen for you?
把你的想法写在评论区吧。
Put it in the comment section.
咱们一起把它往前推一小步，让它更接近现实。
Let's make like, let's just put that put it that one inch closer to reality.
不妨说出来，也许这是你第一次真正讲出来。
Let yourself verbalize it, maybe for the first time.
别忘了在 Instagram 上关注我们，账号是 thatpsychologypodcast。
Make sure that you are also following us on Instagram at thatpsychologypodcast.
你也可以在那儿跟我分享你的梦想。
You can, of course, share your dreams with me over there as well.
我特别乐意听，尤其是如果你的梦想是开个播客。
I'm always receptive to hearing them, especially if, like, one of your dreams is starting a podcast.
只要能帮上忙，我随时乐意给建议。
I'm always down to give some advice.
把这期节目分享给那个你觉得会感同身受的人吧。
Send this episode to somebody who you think it will resonate with.
记得关注我们。
Follow us.
你也可以在Substack上读到这期节目的文字稿。
You can also read the transcript of this episode on Substack.
这期节目能做的事多着呢。
There are so many things that you could do with this episode.
你要是想看，本来也能在Netflix上看到的。
You could have you could have watched it on Netflix if you wanted.
你可能还不知道吧。
I don't know if you know that.
如果你是新听众，告诉你一声，我们这档播客在全球Netflix上都能看。
If you are new to this podcast, we are also on Netflix all over the world.
想看未来或往期的节目？你更喜欢视觉学习？那Netflix绝对是个好地方，去瞅瞅吧。
So if you wanna watch future episodes, past episodes, you're more of a visual learner, that is a great place for you to go and check us out.
我觉得我这番推荐已经够多了。
I think that's enough plugs for me.
我觉得我已经说够了。
I think I've done enough.
这期节目里的自我宣传，我差不多该收住了。
I think I've done enough self promotion for this episode.
好了，就这样吧。
So, yeah.
你怎么想都行。
Do with that what you will.
和往常一样，每期节目的结尾，我知道你们都听熟了——照顾好自己，待人友善，对自己温柔一点，尤其是如果你老爱琢磨未来的话。
And as always, at the end of every episode, you guys know I say this, be safe, be kind, be very gentle to yourself, especially if you like debating the future.
未来这事儿确实挺难想的，但我百分百相信，你一定会好好的。
It's a tough one to think about, but I'm a 100% sure you're gonna be okay.
咱们很快再聊。
We will talk very very soon.
嘿，我是医生。
Hey, I'm Doctor.
我是玛雅·尚克，认知科学家，也是播客《计划的小调整》的主持人，这档节目探讨的是当生活另作安排时，我们是谁，又会变成谁。
Maya Shanker, a cognitive scientist and host of the podcast A Slight Change of Plans, a show about who we are and who we become when life makes other plans.
真希望我当初没那么久地抗拒改变的需要。
I wish that I hadn't resisted for so long the need need to to change.
改变。
Change.
我们得愿意接受那种谁都不喜欢的不确定性。
We have to be willing to live with a kind of uncertainty that none of us likes.
你完全可以有自己的看法。
You can have opinions.
你完全可以持一个坚定的立场。
You can have, like, a strong stance.
然后你的身体会告诉你，对。
And then there's your body Yeah.
它有自己的运作逻辑，完全不受你控制。
Having its own program.
欢迎在iHeartRadio应用、苹果播客，或是你常用的任何播客平台上收听《人生急转弯》（A Slight Change of Plans）。
Listen to a slight change of plans on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
在最近一期《钱与财富：约翰·奥布莱恩主持》的播客节目里，我和“理财达人”蒂芙尼·阿里奇坐下来聊了聊，到底要怎么做才能管好自己的钱。
On a recent episode of the podcast, Money and Wealth with John O'Brien, I sit down with Tiffany, the Budgetnista Aliche, to talk about what it really takes to take control of your money.
要是放在我们的家庭里，这种情况会是什么样的？
What would that look like in our families
要是所有人都能把财富传给后人，没错。
if everyone was able to pass on wealth Yes.
就是人不在了之后，把财产留给家里人。
To the people when they're no longer here.
这期节目我们会拆解 budgeting 理财规划、财务自律原则，以及怎么积累真正的财富，从很多人这辈子都没人教过的思维转变说起。
We break down budgeting, financial discipline, and how to build real wealth starting with the mindset shifts too many of us were never ever taught.
如果你一直觉得没人跟你讲过管钱的门道，这场对话你一定不能错过。
If you've ever felt you didn't get the memo on money, this conversation is for you to hear more.
收听来自黑人影响力网络的《金钱与财富》，主持人是约翰·奥布莱恩，可以在 iHeartRadio、Apple Podcast 或你常用的任何播客平台收听。
Listen to money and wealth with John O'Brien from the Black Effect Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
我是迈尔斯·特纳。
I'm Miles Turner.
我是布里安娜·斯图尔特。
And I'm Brianna Stewart.
我们的播客《实至名归》可是头一回这么干。
And our podcast, Game Recognized Game, has never been done before.
我们两个现役球员，带你真实看看球员生活，以及我们在场上场下到底怎么想。
Two active players giving you a real look at our lives and what we actually think on and off the court.
啥都敢聊。
Nothing's off limits.
我们聊摆烂。
We talk tanking.
我这话说了可能要挨骂，但我真觉得在女篮里，摆烂这事肯定存在。
I might get in trouble for this answer, but I think it's, like, definitely happening in the WBA.
我们也会聊自己的错误。
We talk about our mistakes too.
他们把我拉到一边，说：兄弟，你这不行啊。
They pulled me to the side and was like, hey, man.
昨晚我们接到电话了，兄弟。
We got a call last night, man.
比赛前夜你可不能在城里这么瞎晃悠。
You can't be rolling around the city like this tonight before games.
关注Stewie和Miles的《Game Recognized Game》，在iHeartRadio、苹果播客或者你常用的播客平台收听。
Check out game recognized game with Stewie and Miles on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
大家好。
Hi, everyone.
我是谢丽尔·斯特雷德，《荒野》和《微小的美丽》的作者。
I'm Cheryl Strayed, author of Wild and Tiny Beautiful not
如果
if
就是。
that.
我是我是
I'm I'm
你是
you're
你知道该怎么面对那些看似无法逾越的挑战。
you're understand how to face our gonna own seemingly insurmountable challenges.
每周四收听《Mind Over Mountain》，在iHeartRadio应用、Apple播客或你常用的播客平台收听。
Listen to mind over mountain every Thursday on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcasts.
威尔·法瑞尔的《大钱玩家》和iHeart播客联合呈现《足球妈妈》。
Will Ferrell's big money players and iHeart podcast presents soccer moms.
我是莉安。
So I'm Leanne.
对。
Yeah.
这是我最好的朋友珍妮特。
This is my best friend Janet.
嗨。
Hey.
从高中起我们就形影不离了。
And we have been joined at the hip since high school.
没错。
Absolutely.
多年以后。
A redacted amount of years later.
我们到现在还是形影不离。
We're still joined at the hip.
只是屁股稍微大了点。
Just a little bit bigger hips.
这是一档播客。
This is a podcast.
我们就在我的本田奥德赛车后头，一边为孩子们的青少年足球赛热身，一边录这个播客。
We're recording it as we tailgate our youth soccer games in the back of my Honda Odyssey.
边上全是零食和饮料。
With all the snacks and drinks.
你怎么选了硬苏打水，没买啤酒？
Why did you get hard seltzer instead of beer?
因为正好买一送一嘛。
Well, they hit a BOGO.
那你不就赚到了。
Well, then you got them.
在 iHeartRadio 应用、Apple 播客，或者你平时听播客的平台，收听这些足球妈妈们的对话吧。
Listen to soccer moms on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
这是 iHeart 播客。
This is an iHeart podcast.
百分百真人录制。
Guaranteed Human.
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