925 | 三个比动力更能改变你生活的习惯

所以我要告诉你们关于这些小习惯的真相。

So here's the thing I will tell you about all of these little habits.

这些习惯没有一个看起来很酷。

None of them are sexy.

这些习惯没有一个看起来很酷，但它们都会累积。

None of them are sexy, but all of them compound.

它们共同作用，产生大于各部分之和的效果。

They all come together to make something that is greater than the sum of their parts.

你在今年开始时可能会很有动力，但我告诉你，这种动力会消退。

You can be motivated as you start this year, but I am telling you the motivation will fade.

它一定会消退，而你需要的不仅仅是你现在拥有的东西。

It will absolutely fade and you need something more than what you currently have.

如果你想要做出持久的改变。

If you are going to make change that lasts.

你不想仅仅只是为了接下来的一周而保持动力。

You don't want to just be motivated for the next week.

你希望在未来一年及更长时间里保持动力。

You want to have momentum for the next year and beyond.

而这种动力始于这些微小、枯燥的习惯，没人想做这些事，除了那些拥有你渴望成果的人。

And that starts with these small, boring habits that nobody wants to do except the people who have the results that you wanna have.

嘿，大家。

Hey, guys.

我是蕾切尔·霍利斯，这是我们的节目，我们在这里谈论生活，真实的生活。

I'm Rachel Hollis, and this is the show where we talk about life, real life.

在这里，我们会涵盖从习惯和动力到人际关系、育儿，以及如何打造你热爱的生活等方方面面。

Around here, we cover everything from habits and motivation to relationships, parenting, and what it looks like to build a life that you love.

如果你正在努力成长、疗愈，或者只是想更接近真实的自己，那你来对地方了。

If you're trying to grow, heal, or just feel a little bit more like yourself, you're in the right place.

嘿，大家。

Hey, guys.

我是蕾伊。

It's Rae.

欢迎来到播客的另一期节目，今天我们来聊聊动机这个话题。

Welcome to another episode of the podcast and a freaking conversation about motivation.

朋友们，现在是年初，动机是每个人清单上最吸引人的词。

Guys, it is the beginning of the year and motivation is the sexy word on everybody's list.

这是每个人都拥有的心态。

It is the mindset that everybody has.

我不想泼你们冷水，但动机不会持久。

And I don't wanna burst your bubble, but the motivation will not last.

我们都知道这一点。

We know this.

我们知道动机不会持久。

We know that the motivation will not last.

然而每年这个时候，我们依然做出同样的选择。

And yet every single time this year, we make the same choices.

我们做着同样的事情。

We do the same things.

几周后，当所有动力都消退了，当你不想去健身房，不想健康饮食，不想早起写书稿，不想做这些事时，你就会放弃。

And then in a few weeks, when all the motivation wears off, when you don't feel like going to the gym, when you don't feel like eating healthy, when you don't feel like waking up early and working on that book proposal, when you don't feel like doing those things, you're going to fall off the wagon.

然后你会感到羞愧，因为你又一次没能实现目标。

And then you're going to feel shame because you failed against your goals again.

对吧？

Right?

我知道我不是唯一一个这样做的。

Like I know I am not the only one who has done this.

我年复一年地这样重复。

I did this year after year after year.

我一直在与体重作斗争。

I struggled with my weight.

我一直在与健康作斗争。

I struggled with my health.

我一直在为发展事业而挣扎。

I struggled growing my business.

我难以实现成为作家的梦想。

I struggled to achieve my dream of becoming an author.

我一直尝试，总想着如果我能找到动力就好了，对吧？

Like I kept trying and I kept thinking if only I could get motivated, right?

如果我有足够的意志力，我的梦想就终会成真。

If only I had enough willpower, then my dreams would finally come true.

那样我就会开始像我想成为的那个人一样行动。

Then I would start acting like the person I wanted to be.

我不明白这个根本真相，现在我想让你听清楚。

I did not understand this fundamental truth, and I want you to hear me say it right now.

动力不是一种策略。

Motivation is not a strategy.

它不是一个计划。

It is not a plan.

动力很棒，但动力不会长久持续。

Motivation is amazing, but motivation doesn't stick around.

它是短暂的。

It's fleeting.

如果某事物是短暂的，它就不可能日复一日地支持你，而这才是你实现人生积极改变真正需要的。

And if something is fleeting, it's never going to serve you day in, day out, which is what you actually need in order to make positive change in your life.

所以，如果你一直误以为动机就是你唯一需要的东西，请听我说。

So if you are the victim of believing that motivation is all you really need, please hear me.

我真想摇晃你的肩膀。

I'm, oh, I wanna like shake your shoulders.

我希望你能和我一起投入其中。

I wanna, I want you in this with me.

你不需要动机。

You don't need motivation.

你需要一些更好的习惯。

You need some better habits.

你需要一个流程。

You need a process.

在商业中，我们称之为系统。

In business, we call it a system.

系统是你创建的一种机制，即使从未做过这项工作的人也能上手，比如在快餐店、麦当劳工作。

A system is something that you create so that even a person who has never done a job before, think of it like, working at a fast food restaurant, working at McDonald's.

他们制作汉堡有完全固定的方法。

There is an exact way they make those burgers.

他们制作薯条也有完全固定的方法。

There is an exact way they make those fries.

几十年来，一直有一份详细的清单，使得即使是一名高中生，现在也能去麦当劳找工作。

There's a checklist that's existed for decades upon decades on decades, which makes it so if you are a high school student, you could go get a job at McDonald's right now.

几个小时内，你就能完全知道如何完成面前的任务，因为有一个系统。

And within a couple of hours, you would know exactly how to do the tasks in front of you because there's a system.

你知道麦当劳为什么要设立这套机制吗？

Do you know why McDonald's has that in place?

你知道大多数快餐店为什么都采用这套机制吗？

Do you know why most fast food places have that in place?

他们创建这些系统，是为了让未经培训的人也能有效地帮助他们运营业务。

They create those systems so that they can get people who are untrained to help them run the business effectively.

因为如果你雇用未经培训的人，他们的成本会更低。

Because if you get people that are untrained, they don't cost as much money.

对吧？

Right?

所以，如果你雇用一个高中生，他们的薪资远低于一个35岁、上过大学、拥有丰富经验的人。

So if you get someone who's in high school, they're a lot less expensive than someone who's 35 years old, went to college and has done all the things.

那我为什么要在商业中谈论系统呢？

So why am I talking about systems in business?

因为这些系统能确保麦当劳的奶酪汉堡始终被正确制作。

Because they are foolproof to ensure that McDonald's gets its cheeseburgers made correctly.

你的生活中也需要系统——很可能需要多个系统，以确保无论你今天状态如何，都能坚持完成实现目标所需的习惯。

And you need a system in your life, probably many systems to ensure that no matter how you are feeling today, you are still achieving the habits you need to achieve to get the results you want to get.

如果你今年需要减肥，因为你希望更好地照顾自己的健康，你就需要一些习惯。

If you need to lose weight this year because you need to take better care of your health, you need some habits.

如果你今年想发展你的业务，想达到新的收入目标，想吸引更多客户、更大的客户、更好的客户，你就需要一套系统。

If you want to grow your business this year, if you want to get to a new revenue number, if you want to attract more clients, bigger clients, better clients, you're going to need a system.

你需要建立一些习惯。

You're going to need some habits in place.

所以今天我想和你谈谈三个习惯，就三个。

So today I want to talk to you about three habits, just three.

这三件事能让你走得比任何动力都更远。

These three things will get you further than motivation ever will.

因为动力的本质是强度。

Because the thing about motivation is that it's about intensity.

想想新年伊始，每个人都办了健身房会员，买了蛋白粉，都特别投入地关注自己的健康。

So think of like the beginning of a new year when everybody signs up for the gym membership and everyone buys the protein powder and everyone gets really into working on their health.

到目前为止，我们都知道新年决心这套做法行不通，但还是不断上当，这简直有点可笑。

It's like kind of comical at this point how many of us know that the New Year's resolution game does not work, but we still fall for that idea.

对吧？

Right?

动力是一种感觉。

Motivation is a feeling.

对吧？

Right?

它是一种强烈的感受，能推动你前进，让你想要去做某事。

It is about an intense feeling that propels you forward and makes you want to do something.

而且，这种动力通常是外在的。

And usually, the motivation is external.

它来自你自身之外的事物，比如新的一年、重要的生日，或者你刚经历了一段分手，想证明他错了。

It's something outside yourself, like a new year or a big birthday, or you just went through a breakup and you wanna prove him wrong.

你经历这些事情时，它们会短暂地激励你。

Like you go through these experiences and they motivate you for a minute.

但你想要实现的目标，需要的远不止一瞬间的激情。

But the thing you're trying to do, it requires more than an instant of intensity.

你想要达成的目标，需要的是持续性。

The thing you are trying to accomplish is going to require consistency.

而且你看，习惯很无聊。

And look, habits are boring.

每天做同样的事情简直无聊透顶。

It's freaking boring to do the same thing every day.

我每天早上醒来，滚下楼，外面还是黑的，地上有雪，甚至在喝一口咖啡之前，我就已经摇好了我的蛋白粉，每天醒来三十分钟内一定摄入蛋白质。

I wake up every morning, I roll downstairs, it is still dark outside, there is snow on the ground, and before I even have a sip of coffee, I am shaking up my protein shake and getting that protein in within thirty minutes of waking up every single day.

这真的很无聊。

That is boring.

我从来不想做这件事。

I never want to do it.

我从不因为喝蛋白粉而感到开心，但它确实管用。

I'm never happy that I'm having the protein, but it's getting the job done.

这是我发现在围绝经期减重时有效的方法。

It was something that I found that worked to lose weight inside of perimenopause.

所以从今年夏天开始，我就一直在坚持。

And so I've been doing it since this summer.

我生活中有数百个日常的小选择和习惯，它们已经伴随我太久，以至于我不再需要去思考它们。

I have hundreds of daily little choices and habits that have been in my life for so long that I don't have to think about them anymore.

这些都是我多年前做出的明智选择，并且反复练习了无数次。

They're great choices that I made years ago and that I practiced over and over and over again.

所以现在它们已经成为我生活的一部分，但它们很无聊。

So now they're a part of my life, but they're boring.

动力？

Motivation?

哦，她真性感。

Oh, she is so sexy.

动机就是你去买了那套可爱的卢卢运动套装，然后在周二去上普拉提课的原因。

Motivation is why you went and bought a cute little matching set from Lulu, and you're in the Pilates class on Tuesday.

那就是动机。

That's motivation.

但真正能改变你生活的，是这些习惯。

But what will actually change your life are the habits.

那我们来谈谈三个。

So let's talk about three.

如果三个太多了，姐妹，就做一个。

Now if three are overwhelming, sister do one.

但就选一件你现在就能开始实施、反复去做事情。

But just pick something that you can start to implement into your life right now that you do over and over and over.

你不用去想它。

You don't think about it.

你不用质疑它。

You don't question it.

你每天都做，连续做一个月。

You do it every single day for a month.

然后我们来看看你的生活有没有任何改善。

And then let's see if anything in your life improved.

好。

Okay.

第一个能改变你生活的习惯是：一次决定。

The first habit that is going to change your life is this, decide once.

一次决定。

Decide once.

有一种现象叫决策疲劳，就是当你面前有太多选择时，大脑会陷入混乱。

So there is something called decision fatigue, which is when you have too many options in front of you and it makes your brain sort of short circuit.

任何人都可能遇到这种情况。

That can happen to anybody.

但对我们中的一些人，包括我自己在内，做出那些微小的、琐碎的决定，天啊，这简直是我的噩梦。

But for some of us, myself included, making small little itty bitty decisions, you guys, it is my nightmare.

我无法解释清楚。

I cannot explain.

这是我的性格类型。

It is my personality type.

我不确定这是否和九型人格有关。

I don't know if it's being an Enneagram.

我不确定是不是因为我是个注重大局的人。

I don't know if it's I am a big picture kind of girl.

我讨厌细节。

I hate the details.

我会做这些细节，因为当妈妈，你不得不处理一些细节。

And I will do the details because being a mama, you're gonna have to do some details.

你知道的，经营生意，你也得做一些细节工作。

You know, running a business, you're gonna have to do some details.

有时候你不得不深入那些繁琐的细节，但我现在告诉你，我真的得强迫自己进入那种状态。

Like you're gonna have to get into the nitty gritty sometimes, but I'm telling you right now, I literally have to force myself to go into that mode.

今天早上我和丈夫去超市，因为这个周末我们要招待朋友，得买一堆东西，但我们还不太确定具体要做哪些菜。

I went to the grocery store with my husband this morning because we're having friends over this weekend And we had to get a bunch of stuff, but we weren't totally sure exactly which recipes we were gonna cook.

我们一进超市，我就只是到处逛。

And we walk in the store, and I'm just sort of like wandering around.

他走到我前面。

And he comes in front of me.

他真的让我停下了脚步。

He like literally stops me in my track.

他直视着我的眼睛说：宝贝，你得集中注意力。

He looks me in my eyes and he says, babe, I need you to lock in.

因为他了解我。

Because he knows me.

他知道我不会专心，然后我会回到家，才发现自己漏买了15种必需的食材，却莫名其妙地买了一瓶根汁汽水，只因为听起来很美味。

He knows that I am not going to pay attention, and then I'll get back home and realize I am missing 15 ingredients that I needed, but I bought root beer in a bottle for no reason at all, except it sounded delicious.

而且他也知道，我很容易被细节压垮。

And also because he knows that I can very easily get overwhelmed by the details.

所以，决策疲劳这个概念，我们每个人在某些时候都会遇到，但有些人会受到极其强烈的影响。

So this idea of decision fatigue, it affects all of us at some point, but some of us in really intense ways.

所以，善待自己，一次性决定好你要做什么，然后别反悔。

So do yourself a favor, decide one time what you are doing and don't go back on your word.

大多数人失败，并不是因为缺乏自律。

Most people are not failing because they lack discipline.

他们失败是因为一整天都在不断与自己协商、反复重新协商。

They are failing because they are negotiating and renegotiating with themselves over and over and over all day long.

所以让我们尽可能简化它。

So let's make it as easy as possible.

现在就决定你每天起床的时间。

Decide right now what time you wake up every single day.

现在就决定这周早餐和午餐吃什么。

Decide right now what you eat for breakfast and lunch this week.

现在就确定你的锻炼日。

Decide what your workout days are right now.

决定你将用于实现目标的时间段。

Decide the window of time that you're gonna work on the goal.

一旦决定，就要坚持计划。

Decide once and stick to the plan.

几个月前我做过一期节目，专门讲这个观点：现在你的感受并不重要。

I did an episode a couple of months ago, which was all about this idea of your feelings don't matter right now.

我知道这听起来很严厉。

Now I know that sounds harsh.

你怎么能这么说呢？

Like how can you say that?

当然，我们的感受很重要。

Of course, our feelings matter.

我们需要倾听它们和我们的直觉。

We need to listen to them and our intuition.

是的。

Yes.

你完全对。

You're totally right.

我不是在谈论人生的宏观层面。

I'm not talking in the big picture of life.

我谈的是你为工作制定计划，然后执行你的计划。

I am talking about you create a plan for your work and then you work your plan.

当你到了该去散步活动一下的时候，即使你突然不想去了，这也没关系。

And it doesn't matter if when you get to the moment that you said you were gonna go on a walk to get some movement in, that you kinda don't feel like it anymore.

如果你让情绪主导一天的行动，你永远无法到达你想去的地方。

If you allow your feelings to rule the day, you are never going to get where you wanna go.

因为你的情绪总会选择最让你舒服的事情。

Because your feelings are always going to choose what will keep you the most comfortable.

所以你必须执行你制定的计划，并且一次性做出决定。

So you have to work the plan that you created and you decide one time.

你不需要一辈子只做一次决定，但现在就为下周制定好计划吧。

Now you don't have to decide one time for the rest of your life, but decide right now for next week, what is the plan?

然后坚持执行你制定的计划。

And then just practice sticking to the plan that you made.

你会惊讶于，仅仅做那些你知道该做的事，就能取得多大的进展。

You will be shocked how much traction you get from just doing the things you know you should be doing.

这件事之所以特别重要，尤其是对我们这些有孩子、工作繁忙、荷尔蒙波动、生活琐事缠身的人来说，是因为你一天中精力最充沛、意志力最强的时候，就是早上刚开始的时候。

The other reason that this is really important, especially for those of us who have kids, who have busy jobs, who have hormones, hello, who have stuff going on, is that you start the day with the most willpower you are going to have all day long.

确实如此。

Truly.

这背后是有科学依据的。

There's science behind this.

随着一天的推移，你的精力越来越耗尽，你就越难保持早晨那种意志力。

So as the day goes on, as your energy gets more and more depleted, you are less likely to hold steady with the willpower you started the day with.

因此，你预先做出的决定越少，你就越能轻松应对。

So the less decisions you can give yourself because you've already made them, the better off you're going to be.

下一个能让你走得更远的习惯，而不是靠动力，就是最小有效剂量。

Your next habit that will get you further than motivation ever will is the minimum effective dose.

最小有效剂量。

The minimum effective dose.

我不完全确定，但我认为这个术语是由播客主持人兼作家蒂姆·费里斯提出的。

So I'm not a 100% sure, but I think that this term was coined by Tim Ferriss, who's a podcaster and an author.

最小有效剂量的核心理念是：今天你能做的最少事情是什么，但依然能完成你该做的事。

And the whole idea behind the minimum effective dose is what is the bare minimum that you can do today, but still do what you need to do.

所以蒂姆用MED来指代锻炼。

So Tim uses the MED in reference to working out.

所以有时候你去健身房，会状态爆棚，感觉特别好。

So he's like, some days you go into the gym and you're gonna crush it and you're gonna feel great.

其他时候，你出去跑完所有需要跑的里程就可以了。

Other days, you're gonna go out and you're gonna run all the miles you need to.

还有一些日子，你就是提不起劲。

And then some days you just don't have it.

但在那些你实在没状态、完全不想做该做的事的日子里，你能做的最少事情是什么，才能避免倒退？

But on the days that you just don't have it and you really don't feel like doing the thing you need to do, what is the minimum amount that you can do that will keep you from regressing?

如果你想想身体的肌肉，想想力量训练，任何曾经练出肌肉的人都知道，你可能花了很多时间才练出肌肉，但失去这些力量却只需要很短的时间。

So if you think about muscles in your body, if you think about strength training, anyone who has ever built up muscles in their body knows that you can spend a ton of time building them up, but it actually takes very little time to lose the strength that you've built.

这并不意味着你每天都要去健身房做完全相同的训练。

And it doesn't mean that every day you need to go to the gym and do the exact same workout.

但目标是，如果我去健身房，今天不想做高强度训练，那么我最少需要做多少运动，才能确保我的肌肉保持力量？

But the goal then is if I go to the gym and I don't feel like a big workout today, what is the minimum amount of working out I need to get done to just make sure that my muscles stay strong?

它们可能不会增长，但肯定也不会萎缩。

They might not be growing, but they're certainly not atrophying.

这个概念可以应用到你生活中的任何目标，因为你总会有一些日子充满激情，能做所有事情，也会有一些日子只想什么都不做。

This concept can be applied to any goal in any area of your life because you are gonna have days where you are super excited and you can do all the things and you're gonna have other days where you wanna do nothing.

但让我现在给你一个类比。

But let me just give you an analogy for this right now.

说到食物，我的思维就会自然地转向这里，因为我在生活中最终弄明白的最重要的目标之一，就是饮食、营养和锻炼，这个目标为之后的一切奠定了基础。

Let's think about food is where my brain goes to honestly, because one of the biggest goals that I ever figured out in my life, and this goal sort of laid the groundwork for everything that came after it, was that I finally learned diet and nutrition and working out.

从二十多岁中期到三十多岁中期，我的体重比现在重了五十二磅。

In my mid twenties through my mid thirties, I was fifty two pounds heavier than I am right now.

多年来，我经常跟你们聊起那段经历，以及我是如何减掉那些体重并保持住的。

And I've talked to you guys a lot about that over the years and what it looked like to lose that weight and keep it off.

但我在饮食方面最大的自我破坏行为，就是试图节食，极度限制卡路里摄入，严格禁止那些有营养的食物，因为我真的不明白它是如何运作的。

But my personal form of self sabotage when it came to nutrition was trying to do a diet and really restricting my calories, really restricting foods that were nourishing, really restricting things, because I just honestly did not understand how it worked.

所以我总是跟着当时的流行饮食法走，而100%的情况下，这意味着我一直在挨饿。

And so I would just do whatever the fad diet was at the time, which 100% of the time meant that I was starving.

我不是说那种身体真的在挨饿的饥饿。

And I don't mean like starving in the like, oh, my body was starving.

我是说，我真的饿得不行。

I mean, literally I was so hungry.

你有没有试过那样？

Have you ever done that?

就是去尝试一些荒谬的饮食法，然后饿得要死。

Where you go do some ridiculous diet and you're just like dying for food.

剧透一下：如果你饿得要死，特别饥饿，你是不可能坚持那种饮食的。

Spoiler alert, if you are dying for food, if you are super hungry, you're never sticking with that diet.

如果你能坚持那种饮食，那你就是在发展饮食失调，这太糟糕了。

If you are sticking with that diet, you're developing disordered eating, which is awful.

我确实非常努力，但我总是饿得不行。

And I definitely was trying so hard, but I would be so hungry.

然后最终我肯定会放弃，然后暴饮暴食。

And then inevitably I would just give up and I would binge.

我会走进厨房，把橱柜里所有东西都吃光。

I would go into my kitchen and I would eat everything in the pantry.

然后我会感到羞愧，因为我的饮食计划彻底泡汤了。

And then I would feel shame because I just blew my diet.

接着我会想，反正都已经这样了。

And then I'd be like, well, I'm already here.

不如看看冰箱里还有什么能吃的。

Let's see what the fridge has to hold.

这就陷入了一种荒谬的羞愧循环。

And it was just this ridiculous shame spiral.

最后我反而比根本没尝试节食时状态更差。

I would end up so much worse off than if I hadn't tried to do a diet at all.

如果这让你有共鸣，我想请你花一点时间好好想想这个问题。

If that resonates with you, I want you to just sit with this question for a second.

如果你能回想起每一次尝试节食时，都曾到过那个时刻——心想：去他的，给我一包力士饼干，我要把整盒都吃光。

If you can think of every single time that you tried to do a diet and that you hit that moment where you're just like, screw this, give me the Ritz crackers, I'm gonna eat the whole box.

如果你能想起每一次你经历那种时刻后又暴饮暴食，如果你也像我一样多次这样做过，想象一下，如果你每次暴食后都能重来一次，也就是你根本没去做这件事，那会意味着什么。

If you can think of every single time that you had that moment and then you binged, if you have done that, like I have done that so many times, Imagine what it would have meant for you to get back every single time you binged, meaning you just didn't do it.

你根本就没做。

You just didn't do it.

你没有暴食。

You didn't binge.

事实上，你并没有真的坚持节食，但你就是没有经历那个暴食的时刻。

In fact, you didn't actually stay on the diet, but you just didn't have that moment of binging.

你根本就没去把所有东西都吃光。

You just didn't go eat everything.

你根本就没感到羞愧。

You just you didn't feel the shame.

你没有陷入恶性循环。

You didn't spiral out.

你没有做那一整套事情。

You didn't do all of that.

对吧？

Right?

就是，根本没做那事。

Like, just didn't do that.

我知道这听起来太简单了。

I know this sounds so simple.

但如果我能收回每一次我这样做的时候，我想那可能是三十磅的羞耻感。

But if I could get back every single time I had done that, I think that was, I don't know, thirty pounds of shame.

因为那种紊乱的饮食、那种生活方式，以及不断重复的恶性循环，让我离自己想要的状态越来越远。

Because it was that disordered eating and that way of living and that spiral that started over and over again, that was pushing me further and further from where I wanted to be.

那么，如果我只是用食物作为比喻呢？因为我觉得很多人都有过试图减肥的经历。

So what if, like, I'm just using food as an analogy because I think a lot of us have experienced moments in our life where we were trying to lose weight.

我觉得这个概念很多人都能产生共鸣，但你其实可以把它应用到生活的任何方面。

So I feel like this is something where many of you can identify with this concept, but you can truly use this for anything in your life.

如果你根本没暴食，如果能收回那些时间，那就是最小有效剂量。

If you just didn't binge, if you could just get that time back, that's what the minimum effective dose is.

这就是最起码的要求。

That's what the bare minimum is.

如果从节食的角度来看，对我来说，这会是这样：好吧，你饿了。

If I think of this in terms of dieting, what that would have looked like for me would have been, okay, you're hungry.

如果你只是吃个三明治呢？

What if you just have a sandwich?

如果你只是吃个三明治呢？

What if you just have a sandwich?

如果你只是吃点听起来很美味、让人感到滋养、完全符合你此刻身体需求的东西，并且允许自己好好享受呢？

What if you just have something that sounds really good, that feels nourishing, that feels like exactly what your body wants in this moment, And you just allow yourself to enjoy that.

今天早上我和凯兹去喝了咖啡，那天是星期五。

I went to coffee this morning with Kez and it's a Friday.

感觉特别棒。

It was like so nice.

我们俩去了这家很棒的本地咖啡店，那里有美味的糕点。

The two of us went in this great little local coffee shop that has delicious pastries.

我点了一杯燕麦奶浓缩咖啡和一个南瓜松饼。

And I had an oat milk cortado and a pumpkin muffin.

味道非常好。

And it was delicious.

南瓜松饼通常不在我的营养计划内，但今天我去了这家很棒的面包店。

Now a pumpkin muffin isn't typically on my nutritional plan, but I was in this amazing bakery today.

我和丈夫约了咖啡，当时我就想吃南瓜松饼，于是就吃了，毫无愧疚，毫无犹豫。

And I was on this little coffee date with my husband and I wanted a pumpkin muffin and I had it with zero shame, zero question.

老实说，直到现在你和我聊起这件事，我都没再想过它。

I honestly didn't even think about it again until you and I were talking about it right now.

在我这些年尝试节食的过程中，最有效的最低限度就是：吃我想吃的东西，以让身体感到舒适、让我感到滋养的方式，给我自己真正需要的东西，而不是走向极端。

The minimum effective dose in all those years of me trying to diet would have been to just eat what I wanted in a way that felt good to my body, in a way that was nourishing to me and to give myself what I needed instead of going to the extreme.

所以，当你思考自己的目标和需要建立的习惯时，今天你能做的最小行动是什么，才能让你继续留在计划中？

So when it comes to you and your goals and the habits that you need to establish, what is the minimum that you could do today that keeps you in the plan?

如果你正在节食，对不起，我这么严厉地批评节食。

If you are on a diet I'm sorry I'm going so hard on diets.

我觉得这对大多数人来说都很容易理解。

I just think it's such an easy one for most of us to grasp.

如果你因为真的饿了而想要放弃节食，首先，你的营养计划可能有问题。

If you're about to give up the diet because you really are hungry, first of all, you're on the wrong nutrition plan.

如果你感到饥饿，这种饮食方式永远不会持久。

If you're hungry, it's never gonna last.

我做过一整集讲这个，如果你想听的话。

And you're I did a whole episode about this if you wanna hear it.

是第861集。

It's episode eight, six, one.

如果你往回翻，是我更年期减重的历程。

If you scroll back, it's my perimenopausal weight loss journey.

但剧透一下，你绝不应该感到饥饿。

But the spoiler alert is you should never be hungry.

永远、永远、永远都不该感到饥饿。

Ever, ever, ever, you should never be hungry.

有一种叫做‘饱腹感饮食’的方法。

There is this thing called volume eating.

在热量赤字状态下，这意味着你要找到一些你真正喜欢的美味食物，可以尽情吃，比如蔬菜和其他各种健康食物。

In a calorie deficit, it means that you learn delicious foods that you really love, that you can have as much of them as you want, things like vegetables and just all sorts of great things.

你找到这些食物，这样你吃的是营养丰富的食物，同时又处于热量赤字状态，从而减重。

You find those things so that you're eating really nourishing food, but you're in a calorie deficit and you're losing weight.

如果你想听更多，可以去听第八百六十一集。

If you wanna go listen to it, episode eight, six, one.

但我在这里想说的是，为了不偏离计划，你需要做的最小限度的事情是什么？

But my point in this is what does it look like to do the minimum thing that you need so that you do not go off plan?

你制定了计划。

You made the plan.

你必须执行计划。

You gotta work the plan.

而执行计划意味着你要坚持下去。

And working the plan means that you stay in.

所以，如果你今天想去健身房，打算大干一场，做一小时的力量训练，你能只做十五分钟吗？

So if today you wanted to go to the gym and you were gonna go crush it, you were gonna do an hour of strength training, Can you go do fifteen minutes?

你本来打算去跑步。

You were gonna go on a run.

你能去散个步吗？

Can you go on a walk?

你本来打算写你书的下一章。

You were gonna write the next chapter of your book.

你能写一页吗？

Can you write a page?

你本来打算清空整个收件箱，回复每一个人。

You were going to clear out your entire inbox and respond to everybody.

你能回复一封邮件吗？

Can you respond to one email?

宝贝，你今天不需要把每件事都做完。

Girl, you do not need to do every single thing today.

你不需要做每一件事。

You do not need to do every single thing.

事实上，如果你是女孩，如果你有月经，对吧？

In fact, if you are a girl, if you were a bleeder, right?

如果你有月经周期，你的周期中会有一些周让你充满动力、灵感十足，准备好征服世界。

If you are someone who has a menstrual cycle, there are going to be weeks in your cycle where you are gonna feel motivated and inspired and ready to crush the world.

但也有一些周，这是你身体的自然节奏，你不会觉得非得跑得飞快。

And there are going to be other weeks, this is the natural rhythm of your body, where you're not gonna feel like running a thousand miles an hour.

你可能会觉得需要更深地扎根。

You're gonna feel like digging your roots a little deeper.

你会感觉更加安定。

You're gonna feel more settled.

你会感觉更加踏实。

You're gonna feel more grounded.

你不会感受到那种外在的驱动力。

You're not gonna feel that external drive.

你会感受到一些内在的运作。

You're gonna feel some internal work going on.

这完全正常。

And that is all as it should be.

富足的心态明白，那种能量、那种动力、那种让你充满激情并推动你行动的感觉，一定会再次回来。

The abundant mindset understands that that energy, that drive, that that feeling you love so much that gets you going and gets you fired up and gets you doing the work, that will come back.

但如果你任由自己完全偏离计划，任由自己彻底放弃你曾承诺要做的事，你重新回到正轨的机会就会大大降低。

But if you allow yourself to fall completely off plan, if you allow yourself to just completely give up on what you said you would do, your chances of coming back to the work quickly diminish by a lot.

你可以这样想。

Think of it like this.

你有没有为自己生活中的某件事制定过计划？

Have you ever made a plan for something that you're gonna do in life?

你希望更接近这个目标。

You wanna get closer to this goal.

你正在改善自己的健康、生活、财务，或者别的什么。

You're working on your health or your life or your money or whatever.

好的。

Alright.

让我们继续用健康这个比喻，因为我觉得这个例子会对你们很有共鸣。

Let's continue with this health analogy because I think this this will speak to you guys.

你在营养计划上做得非常好。

You're doing so well on your nutrition plan.

你每天都坚持运动。

You've been moving every day.

你正在完成自己的90天挑战。

You're doing your own ninety day challenge.

你的‘五个 thriving’计划也进行得不错。

You got your five to thrive going.

你正在做所有你知道应该做的事情。

You're doing all the stuff you know you need to be doing.

然后，是你女儿的生日。

And then it's your daughter's birthday.

今天是你女儿的生日，你从最喜欢的面包店买了蛋糕。

It's your daughter's birthday and you got the cake from your favorite bakery.

那层奶油糖霜，那层覆盆子夹心，真是太棒了。

That buttercream frosting, that raspberry center layer, it's so good.

太好吃了。

It's so delicious.

而你一直在克制自己。

And you've been resisting.

你一直在想，哦，我打算，你知道，我甚至不想尝一口，因为如果我尝了一口，就会打乱我的计划。

You've been, oh, I'm gonna, you know, I don't want to even have a bite because if I have a bite, it's gonna throw me off.

我一直做得非常好。

I've been doing so well.

然后你操办了整个派对，应付了你那难缠的岳母，还处理了22个八岁以下孩子带来的压力。

And you do the whole party and you deal with your crazy mother-in-law and you deal with the stress of 22 kids under the age of eight.

现场很吵闹，有人打碎了你最喜欢的花瓶，还有个小孩用记号笔在你墙上乱画，这真是压力山大的一天。

And it's loud and someone breaks your favorite vase and, a little kid did some Sharpie on your wall and it just, it was a whole stressful day.

你做得太棒了。

You did so well.

你吃了那些胡萝卜条。

You ate those carrot sticks.

你坚持了你的计划。

You followed your plan.

你完全做到了该做的事。

You did exactly what you need to do.

然后你到了晚上。

And then you got to the evening.

一切都收拾干净并收好了。

Everything 's cleaned up and put away.

你是今年的最佳妈妈。

You are mom of the year.

你为乔莉做得太出色了。

You crushed it for Chloe.

你做得真的很棒。

You did a real good job.

而且那个蛋糕还摆在台子上。

And that cake's still sitting there on the counter.

你累坏了，因为你的意志力已经耗尽了。

And you're exhausted because your willpower is done.

对吧？

Right?

你已经做了所有你能做的事，蛋糕还在那儿。

Like you did everything that you could do and the cake's there.

然后你就想：管他呢。

And you're like, screw it.

姑娘，你连个盘子都得不到，是吧？

And girl, you don't even get a plate, do you?

我们连个盘子都得不到。

We don't get a plate.

不可能。

No way.

我们只拿到一把叉子。

We just get a fork.

就我们和一把叉子。

It's just us and a fork.

然后我们就开始在蛋糕上做那种事，像画出一层层的叉子痕迹。

And then we just start doing that thing in the cake where we start making like a a layer, like just a row of of fork lines.

然后那条线就不平了。

And then that that line's like uneven.

哦，我来把它弄平一点。

Oh, I'm just gonna even out.

然后突然间你就已经吃掉了一半的蛋糕。

And then all of a sudden you've like eaten half the cake.

你懂我的意思吗？

You know what I mean?

现在你对吃这块蛋糕有了各种各样的感受。

And now you have all of these feelings about eating that cake.

那我们该怎么办？

So what do we do?

算了，管他的。

Well, screw it.

对吧？

Right?

哎，好了，我吃完了。

Like, oh, well, I'm done.

不仅那天晚上你吃完了，第二天早上醒来，你还会想：看吧，和以前每次一样，我就知道我控制不住。

And not only are you done that night, but you wake up the next day and you're like, see, just like every other time, I knew I didn't have it.

你心里的那个声音一直在说：没错，我早知道会这样。

That voice in the back of your mind is telling you all, yep, I knew it.

我就知道你控制不住。

I knew you didn't have it.

我知道你不是那样的人。

I knew you weren't that person.

我知道你做不到。

I knew you couldn't do it.

你脑子里想了很多，但你就是放弃了。

All that's going on in your head and you just You give up.

你第二天就放弃了，这一天变成了一个星期，这一周又变成了两个星期，然后你才会重新开始，对吧？

You give up for the next day and that day turns into a week and that week turns into two and you'll get back on it, right?

我们知道我们会的。

We know we will.

我们会再试一次。

We'll try again.

我们会再次出现。

We'll show up again.

但你要花大约五周时间才能鼓起勇气再试一次。

But it takes you about five weeks to find the gumption to go again.