Chapter 1

以下内容属于西蒙和特里斯特公司。

The following content belongs to Simon and Trishter Co.

珍妮·汉的《夏天变得美丽》。

The summer I turned pretty by Jenny Han.

第一章。

Chapter one.

我们已经开了大约七千年了，或者至少感觉是这样。

We had been driving for about seven thousand years, or at least that's how it felt.

我哥哥史蒂文开车比我们的奶奶还慢。

My brother, Steven, drove slower than our Grana.

我坐在副驾驶座上，双脚搁在仪表板上。

I sat next to him in the passenger seat with my feet up on the dashboard.

与此同时，我妈妈在后座上睡着了。

Meanwhile, my mother was passed out in the back seat.

即使在睡觉时，她看起来也依然警觉。

Even when she slept, she looked alert.

她随时可能在车流中醒过来。

Like at any second, she could wake up in direct traffic.

开快点，Steven说，戳了戳他的士兵。

Go faster, aired Steven, poking him in the soldier.

肩膀。

Shoulder.

我们超车那个骑自行车的孩子吧。

Let's pass that kid on the bike.

Steven甩开了我。

Steven shrugged me off.

别碰司机，他说，把你的脏脚从我的仪表板上挪开。

Never touch the driver, he said, And take your dirty feet off my dashboard.

我把脚趾来回动了动。

I've upped my toes back and forth.

在我看来，它们还挺干净的。

They looked pretty clean to me.

这又不是你的仪表盘。

It's not your dashboard.

等你拿到驾照，这车很快就是我的了，”他嗤之以鼻。

It's gonna be my car soon, you know, if you ever get your license, he scoffed.

像你这样的人根本不该被允许开车。

People like you shouldn't even be allowed to drive.

嘿。

Hey.

你看，”我说着，指向窗外。

Look, I said, pointing out the window.

那个坐轮椅的人刚刚超过我们了。

That guy in a wheelchair just lapped us.

史蒂夫不理我，于是我开始摆弄收音机。

Steve ignored me, and so I started to fiddle with the radio.

我去海边最喜欢的一件事就是收音机里的电台。

One of my favorite things about going to the beach was the radio stations.

我对这些电台的熟悉程度，不亚于家里的那些。听Q94让我内心真切地感受到，我确实来到了海边。

I was as familiar with them as I was with the ones back home, Listening to q ninety four made me just really know inside that I was there at the beach.

我找到了我最爱的电台，它播放的音乐从流行歌到老歌再到嘻哈，应有尽有。

I found my favorite station, the one that played everything from pop to oldies to hip hop.

汤姆·佩蒂正在唱《自由落体》。

Tom Petty was singing free falling.

我跟着他一起唱了起来。

I sang right along with him.

她是个好女孩，疯狂又叛逆，爱马，也爱她的男朋友。

She's a good girl, crazy bad Elvis, loves horses, and her boyfriend too.

史蒂文伸手想换台，我一把拍开了他的手。

Steven reached over to switch stations, and I slapped his hand away.

贝莉，你的歌声让我想把车直接开进海里。

Belly, your voice makes me want to run this car into the ocean.

他假装猛地向右打方向。

He pretended to swerve right.

我唱得更大声了，这吵醒了我妈妈，她也开始跟着唱。

I sank even louder, which woke up my mom, and she started to sing too.

我们俩的歌声都很差，史蒂文摇头表示厌恶，史蒂文就是这样。

We both had terrible voices, and Steven shook his head in disgust, Steven way.

他讨厌被人数压倒。

He hated being outnumbered.

这最让他困扰的是父母离婚后，他成了唯一一个没有父亲支持的孩子，不得不选边站。

It was what bothered him most about our parents being divorced, being the lone guy without our dads take a side.

我们缓缓驶过小镇。

We drove through town slowly.

尽管我刚才还取笑史蒂文，但我其实并不介意。

And even though I just teased Steven about it, I didn't really mind.

我爱这段旅程，这个时刻，再次看到小镇——吉米的蟹屋、迷你高尔夫球场，还有所有冲浪用品店。

I love this drive, this moment, seeing the town again, Jimmy's Crab Shack, the Put Put, all the surf shops.

这就像离家很久之后终于回来了。

It was like coming home after you'd been gone a long, long time.

它承载了我们无数个省份，一个即将终结的夏天。

It held us a million of provinces, a summer end of what just might be.

随着我们越来越接近房子，我能感觉到胸口那熟悉的悸动。

As we got closer and closer to the house, I could feel that familiar flutter in my chest.

我们马上就到了。

We were almost there.

我摇下车窗，尽情感受这一切。

I rolled down the window and took it all in.

空气的味道一模一样，气味也毫无变化，风让我的头发黏糊糊的，带着咸咸的海风。

The air tasted just the same, smelled just the same, the wind making my hair feel sticky, the salty sea breeze.

一切都刚刚好，仿佛一直在等我归来。

All of it felt just right, like it had been waiting for me to get there.

史蒂文，我会的。

Steven, I would be.

你在想康拉德吗？

Are you thinking about Conrad?

他嘲讽地问道。

He asked mockingly.

这一次，答案是否定的。

For once, the answer was no.

不。

No.

我厉声说道。

I snapped.

我妈妈把头探进我们两个座位之间。

My mother stuck her head in between our two seats.

贝莉，你还喜欢康拉德吗？

Belly, do you still like Conrad?

从去年夏天的情况来看，我以为你们俩之间可能有点什么。

From the looks of things last summer, I thought there might be something between you and Jeremiah.

什么？

What?

你和杰里米？

You and Jeremiah?

史蒂文看起来很恶心。

Steven looked sickened.

你和杰里米之间发生了什么？

What happened with you and Jeremiah?

没什么。

Nothing.

我都告诉他们了。

I told them both.

我能感觉到胸口的皮肤在鼓起。

I could feel the flesh rising up from my chest.

我希望自己已经晒黑了，好遮住它。

I wished I had a tan already to cover it up.

妈妈，两个人只是好朋友，并不意味着他们之间有什么。

Mom, just because two people are good friends, it doesn't mean that there's anything going on.

请永远不要再提这件事了。

Please never bring that up again.

我母亲靠回了后座。

My mother leaned back into the back seat.

好了，她说。

Done, she said.

她的声音带着一种决断的语气，我知道史蒂文无法打破这种决断。

Her voice had that note of finality that I knew Steven wouldn't be able to break through.

因为他是史蒂文，他还是试了。

Because he was Steven, he tried anyway.

你和杰里米之间发生了什么？

What happened with you and Jeremiah?

你不能说这样的话却不做解释。

You can't say something like that and not explain.

别再纠结了，我告诉他。

Get over it, I told him.

告诉斯蒂芬任何事都只会给他提供嘲笑我的把柄。

Telling Stephen anything would only give him ammunition to make fun of me.

而且，反正也没什么好说的。

And, anyway, there was nothing to tell.

从来就没什么好说的。

There had never been anything to tell.

真的没有。

Not really.

康拉德和杰里米是贝克的孩子。

Conrad and Jeremiah were Beck's boys.

贝克就是苏珊娜·费舍尔，原名苏珊娜·贝克。

Beck was Susanna Fisher, formerly Susanna Beck.

我妈妈是唯一一个叫她贝克的人。

My mother was the only one who called her Beck.

她们从九岁起就认识了。

They'd known each other since they were nine.

她们称彼此为血姐妹，并且身上有疤痕为证。

Blood sisters, they called each other, and they had the scars to prove it.

她们手腕上有着一模一样的心形印记。

Identical marks on their wrists that looked like hearts.

苏珊娜告诉我，我出生时，她就知道我会成为她其中一个男孩的人。

Susanna told me that when I was born, she knew I was destined for one of her boys.

她说这是命中注定。

She said it was fate.

我母亲通常不迷信这些，但她表示，只要我在安定下来之前至少有过几段恋情，那就再完美不过了。

My mother, who didn't normally go in for that kind of thing, said it would be perfect as long as I had at least a few loves before I settled down.

实际上，她说的是‘恋人’，但这个词让我感到不适。

Actually, she said lovers, but the word made me cringe.

苏珊娜双手捧着我的脸说：‘贝莉，我完全支持你。’

Susanna put her hands on my cheek and said, Belly, you have my unequivocal blessing.

我可不想让我的男孩们被别人抢走。

I'd hate to lose my boys to anyone else.

自从我出生前，甚至从我还是婴儿时起，我们每年夏天都会去苏珊娜在科辛斯海滩的海滨别墅。

We'd have been going to Susanna's beach house in Cousins Beach every summer since I was a baby, since before I was born even.

对我来说，科辛斯镇本身并不重要，重要的是那栋房子。

For me, Cousins was less about the town and more about the house.

那栋房子就是我的整个世界。

The house was my world.

我们有一片专属的海滩。

We had our own stretch of beach to ourselves.

那栋夏日别墅包含了许多东西。

The summer house was made up of a lot of things.

我们曾经在上面奔跑的环形门廊、装满日光茶的水壶、夜晚的游泳池，但最重要的是那些男孩们。

The wraparound porch we used to run around on, jugs of sun tea, the swimming pool at night, but the boys, the boys most of all.

我总是好奇那些男孩们在十二月是什么样子。

I always wondered what the boys looked like in December.

我试着想象他们戴着石榴色围巾、穿着高领毛衣，脸颊红润地站在圣诞树后，但那画面总显得虚假。

I tried to picture them in cranberry colored scarves and turtleneck sweaters, rosy cheeked and standing behind a Christmas tree, but the image always seemed false.

我不认识耶利米的温莎，也不认识康拉德的温莎，我嫉妒所有认识他们的人。

I did not know the Windsor of Jeremiah or the Windsor of Conrad, and I was jealous of everyone who did.

我有的只是人字拖、晒红的鼻子、游泳后残留的水渍和沙子，但那些新英格兰女孩却能和他们在树林里打雪仗呢？

I got flip flops and sunburn noses and swim chunks and sand, but what about those New England girls who had snowball fights with them in the woods?

那些在等车暖起来时依偎在他们身边的人。

The ones who snuggled up to them while they waited for the car to heat up.

那些在室外寒冷时，他们把自己的外套给她们的人。

The ones they gave their coats to when it was chilly outside.

也许只有耶利米会这样，康拉德不会。

Well, Jeremiah maybe, not Conrad.

康拉德绝不会这么做。

Conrad would never.

这不符合他的风格。

It wasn't his style.

不管怎样，这似乎不公平。

Either way, it didn't seem fair.

我会在历史课上坐在暖气片旁边，想象他们正在做什么。

I'd sit next to the radiator in history class and wonder what they were doing.

他们是不是也在某个地方把脚贴着暖气片底部取暖，数着日子盼着夏天再来。

If they were warming their feet along the bottom of the radiator somewhere too, counting the days until summer again.

对我来说，冬天几乎不算数。

For me, it was almost like winter didn't count.

重要的是夏天。

Summer was what mattered.

我的整个人生都是以夏天来衡量的。

My whole life was measured in summers.

比如，我真的要到六月，到了海滩，到了那栋房子里，才算真正开始生活。

Like, I don't really begin living until June until I'm at the beach, till in that house.

康拉德是年长的那个。

Conrad was the older one.

他大一岁半，肤色黝黑，完全遥不可及，无法接近。

By a year and a half, he was dark, dark, dark, completely unattainable, unavailable.

他有一张带着狡黠笑意的嘴，我总是不由自主地盯着它看。

He had a smirky kind of mouth, and I always found myself staring at it.

那种狡黠的嘴让人想吻上去，抹去那抹笑意，或者也许不是抹去，而是想 somehow 控制它。

Smirky mouths make you wanna kiss them, to smooth them out to kiss the smirkiness away or maybe not away, but you wanna control it somehow.

让他属于你。

Make him yours.

这正是我想对康拉德做的事——让他属于我。

It was exactly what I wanted to do with Conrad, make him mine.

但杰里米，他是我的朋友。

Jeremiah, though, he was my friend.

他对我很好。

He was nice to me.

他是那种即使已经大到不该再这样了，依然会拥抱妈妈、还想牵着妈妈手的男孩。

He was the kind of boy who still hugged his mother, still wanted to hold her hand even when he was technically too old for it.

他也不觉得难为情。

He wasn't embarrassed either.

杰里米亚·费舍尔忙着享受生活，根本不会感到尴尬。

Jeremiah Fisher was too busy having fun to ever be embarrassed.

我打赌杰里米亚在学校比康拉德更受欢迎。

I bet Jeremiah was more popular than Conrad at school.

我打赌女孩们更喜欢他。

I bet the girls liked him better.

我打赌如果不是因为橄榄球，康拉德根本不会有什么大不了的。

I bet that if it weren't for football, Conrad wouldn't be some big deal.

他只会是个安静、情绪化的康拉德，而不是什么橄榄球偶像。

He would just be quiet, moody Conrad, not a football god.

我喜欢这样。

And I like that.

我喜欢康拉德宁愿独自一人弹吉他。

I like that Conrad preferred to be alone playing his guitar.

他根本看不上那些无聊的高中琐事。

Like, he was above all the stupid high school stuff.

我喜欢想象，如果康拉德去我的学校，他不会去踢足球。

I like to think that if Conrad went to my school, he wouldn't play football.

他会参加文学杂志，然后注意到像我这样的人。

He'd be on the lit mag, and he'd notice someone like me.

我们终于开到了房子前。

We finally pulled up to the house.

杰里米和康拉德正坐在前门廊的一堆椅子上。

Jeremiah and Conrad were sitting out on the bunch of front porch.

我越过史蒂文探身，按了两声喇叭，这在我们夏天的暗语里意思是：来帮我们拿行李。

I leaned over Steven and honked the horn twice, which in our summer language meant, come help us with the bag.

站住。

Stat.

康拉德现在18岁了。

Conrad was 18 now.

他刚过完生日。

He just had a birthday.

他比去年夏天更高了，你敢信吗？

He was taller than last summer, if you can believe it.

他的头发剪得很短，耳朵周围都露出来了，颜色依旧乌黑。

His hair was cut short around his ears, and it was dark as ever.

与杰里米不同，他的头发变长了。

Unlike Jeremiah, his hair has gotten longer.

所以他看起来有点凌乱，但那种凌乱很帅气，像一个19岁的网球选手。

So he looked a little shaggy, but in a good way, like a 19 tennis player.

他小时候，头发是卷曲的金色，夏天几乎呈铂金色。

When he was younger, it was curly yellow, almost platinum in the summer.

杰里米有一阵子特别讨厌他的卷发。

Jeremiah hated his curls for a while.

康拉德说服他，说吃三明治边角会让头发变卷，于是杰里米就不吃三明治边角了，而康拉德则会把他吃剩的边角全吃光。

Conrad had convinced him that the crust made your hair curly, so Jeremiah had stopped eating sandwich crusts, and Conrad would polish him off.

但随着杰里米长大，他的头发变得越来越不卷，越来越波浪。

As Jeremiah got older, though, his hair was less and less curly and more wavy.

我怀念他的卷发。

I missed his curls.

苏珊娜称他为小天使，那时他粉红的脸颊配上金色卷发，确实像个天使。

Susannah called him her little angel, and he used to look like one with his rosy cheeks and yellow curls.

他依然有着粉红的脸颊。

He still had the rosy cheeks.

杰里米用手做成扩音器，大喊：‘史蒂夫哦。’

Jeremiah made a megaphone with his hands and yelled, Steve o.

我坐在车里，看着史蒂夫驶近他们，像男生们那样拥抱。

I sat in the car and watched Steven ampull up to them and hug the way guys do.

空气中弥漫着咸湿的气息，仿佛随时会下起海水雨。

The air smelled salty and wet like it might rain seawater any second.

我假装在系运动鞋的鞋带，其实只是想多看他们一会儿。

I I pretended to be tying my laces on my sneakers, but, really, I just wanted a moment to look at them.

在房子里单独待了一会儿。

At the house for a little while in private.

那栋房子又大又灰又白，看起来和路上的其他房子差不多，但更好。

The house was large and gray and white, and it looked like most every other house in the road, but better.

它看起来完全符合我对海滨别墅的想象。

It looked just the way I thought a beach house should look.

它看起来像家。

It looked like home.

我妈妈也下了车，喊道：嘿，孩子们。

My mother got out of the car then to, hey, boys.

你妈妈在哪？

Where's your mother?

她喊道。

She called out.

嘿，劳蕾尔。

Hey, Laurel.

她在午睡，杰里迈亚回答道。

She's taking a nap, Jeremiah called back.

通常，只要我们的车一停到门口，她就会立刻从房子里冲出来。

Usually, she came flying out of the house the second our car pulled up.

我母亲大步走上前，紧紧地拥抱了他们两人。

My mother walked over to them in about three strides and hugging them both tightly.

我母亲的拥抱像她的握手一样坚定而有力。

My mother's hug was as firm and and as solid as her handshake.

她戴着太阳镜，把它推到头顶，走进了房子。

She disappeared into the house with her sunglasses perched on top of her head.

我从车里出来，把包甩到肩上。

I got out of the car and slung my bag over my shoulder.

他们一开始甚至没注意到我走过来，但后来还是注意到了。

They didn't even notice me walk up at first, but then they they did.

他们真的注意到了。

They really did.

康拉德像男孩在商场里那样，匆匆瞥了我一眼。

Conrad gave me a quick glance over the way boys do at the mall.

他这辈子从未用那样的眼神看过我。

He had never looked at me like that before in my whole life.

一次都没有。

Not once.

我能感觉到从车里回来后，我的身体在颤抖。

I could feel my flesh from the car return.

另一方面，杰里米亚却愣住了。

Jeremiah, on the other hand, did a double take.

他看着我，好像根本认不出我似的。

He looked at me like he didn't even recognize me.

这一切发生在大约三秒内，但感觉要长得多、长得多。

All of this happened in a span of about three seconds, but it felt much, much longer.

康拉德先抱了抱我，但那种拥抱很疏离，小心翼翼地不靠得太近。

Conrad hugged me first, but a faraway kind of hug, careful not to get too close.

他刚理过发，后颈周围的皮肤粉嫩粉嫩的，像婴儿的一样。

He'd just gotten a haircut, and the skin around the nape of his neck looked pink and new like a baby's.

他身上有大海的味道。

He smelled like the ocean.

他身上有康拉德的味道。

He smelled like Conrad.

我戴眼镜时表现得更好，”他说，嘴唇贴近我的耳朵。

I like to do better with glasses, he said, his lips close to my ear.

这话刺痛了我。

That stung.

我把他推开，说：那又怎样。

I shoved him away and said, well, too bad.

我的隐形眼镜会一直戴着。

My contacts are here to stay.

他冲我笑了，而那个笑容，总能直击我内心。

He smiled at me, And that smile, he just gets in.

他的笑容每次都这样。

His smile did it every time.

我觉得你又长了几颗新雀斑，”他说着，轻轻点了点我的鼻子。

I think you've got a few new ones, he said, tapping me on the news the nose.

他知道我对自己身上的雀斑有多敏感，可他每次还是拿这个逗我。

He knew how self conscious I was about my freckles, and he still teased me every time.

接着杰里米抓住了我，差点把我举离了地面。

Then Jeremiah grabbed me next, and he almost lifted me into the air.

肚脐都长成大人样了，”他得意地喊道。

Belly buttons all grown up, he crowed.

我笑了。

I laughed.

放我下来，”我告诉他。

Put me down, I told him.

你身上有体味。

You smell like BO.

杰里米大声笑了起来。

Jeremiah laughed loudly.

还是老样子的肚子，他说，但他盯着我，好像不太确定我是谁。

Same old belly, he said, but he was staring at me like he wasn't quite sure who I was.

他歪着头说：‘你看起来有点不一样了，肚子。’

He cocked his head and said, something looks different about you, belly.

我准备好迎接他的笑话了。

I braced myself for the punchline.

什么？

What?

我戴了隐形眼镜？

I got contacts?

我也不太习惯没有眼镜的自己。

I wasn't completely used to myself without glasses either.

我最好的朋友泰勒从六年级就开始劝我戴隐形眼镜，我终于听进去了。

My best friend Taylor had been trying to convince me to get contacts six since the sixth grade, and I'd finally listened.

他笑了。

He smiled.

不是那个原因。

It's not that.

你只是看起来不一样了。

You just look different.

然后我回到了车里，男孩们跟着我。

I went back to the car then, and the boys followed me.

我们迅速把车上的东西卸了下来，一做完，我就拿起我的手提箱和书包，直接走向我以前的卧室。

We unloaded the car quickly, and as soon as we were done, I picked up my suitcase and my book bag and headed straight for my old bedroom.

我的房间以前是苏珊娜小时候的房间。

My room was Susanna's from when she was a child.

墙上是褪色的碎花墙纸，家具是白色的。

It had faded calico wallpaper and a white bedroom set.

有一只我非常喜欢的八音盒。

There was a music box I love.

打开它时，会有一个旋转的芭蕾舞者，随着《罗密欧与朱丽叶》的古典版本主题曲翩翩起舞。

When you opened it, there was a twirling ballerina to dance to the theme song from Romeo and Juliet, the old timey version.

我把珠宝都放在里面。

I kept my jewelry in it.

我房间里的每样东西都又旧又褪色，但我就是喜欢这样。

Everything about my room was old and faded, but I loved that about it.

我觉得墙壁里、四柱床里，尤其是那个音乐盒里，可能藏着秘密。

I felt like there might be secrets in the walls, in the four poster bed, especially in that music box.

他又那样看着我，我感觉心又沉了下去。

Sink onward again having him look at me that way.

我觉得我需要喘口气。

I felt like I needed a second to breathe.

我从梳妆台上抓起那只毛绒北极熊，紧紧抱在胸前。

I grabbed the stuffed polar bear on my dresser and hugged him close to my chest.

他简称小薄荷糖。

His name was Junior Mint Junior for short.

我抱着小薄荷糖，坐在我的单人床上。

I sat down with Junior on my twin bed.

我的心跳得如此响亮，我都能听见。

My heart was beating so loud that I could hear it.

一切都一样，但又不一样。

Everything was the same, but not.

他们看着我，就像我是真正的女孩，而不只是谁的小妹妹。

They looked at me like I was a real girl, not just somebody's little sister.