一场长达数十年的恶作剧：2026年3月3日，星期二

感觉多出了一页。

Feel like it feels like an extra page.

比如，我们也许可以拉长一点。

Like, maybe we could make it go longer.

不行。

No.

但回头想想，为什么当时这么难？

But like, knew in hindsight, like, why was it so hard?

有个格式。

There's a format.

你知道的，书籍，要按格式来写。

You know, book, you put in the format.

我知道。

I know.

我们为什么会这么挣扎？

Why were we struggling?

因为我感觉参考文献就像你，因为我从来不是那种能写出精彩论文的人。

Because I feel like the bibliography like you because I was never one who, like, wrote amazing essays.

我觉得如果你看看我的参考文献，就会发现这简直像一扇窗户，反映出我有多不在意，以及这篇论文有多差。

I feel like if you looked at my bibliography, like you could it was kind of like a window into like how little I cared, like and how bad the essay truly was.

你可以隐藏，但参考文献展示的是事实。

Like, you can hide, but like the bibliography shows facts.

明白了。

Understood.

但你其实只需要随便找一篇文本，提取一条信息并引用它。

But you should need to just like get a random text, take one piece of information and cite it.

再对几篇随机文本这么做。

And like for a couple of random texts.

即使你的整篇论文都来自一本书，当然你还是会列出一堆。

And even though you got your whole paper from like one book, of course, you have a bunch

一些随机的文本。

of random texts.

我只是觉得，花那么多精力去钻研MLA格式的参考文献，并没有真正为我的人生做好任何有意义的准备。

And I just don't feel like getting so lost in the minutiae of like the MLA formatted bibliography really prepared me for life in any meaningful way.

那JSTOR呢？

What about JSTOR?

提醒我一下。

Remind me.

就是你去那里读PDF文件的地方，JSTOR。

Like where you would go and read like PDFs like J store.

你还记得吗？

Do you remember?

是的。

Yeah.

你会去读别人的论文。

And you would just read like somebody's work.

就像我说的，有些

Like I said, some

我人生中最糟糕、最糟糕的时刻之一，就是论文截止前的午夜，忙着整理参考文献。

of the worst fucking times of my life, like lowest points of my life was like midnight the night before a paper was due, like just getting the bibliography together.

光是想到这个，我就起鸡皮疙瘩。

Oh, I've chills just thinking The about

在JSTOR上阅读。

reading is on JSTOR.

祝你好运。

Good luck with that.

我都不记得自己有没有账号，你知道的？

Don't even think I had an account, you know?

我根本没参与阅读。

Like, I was not participating in the readings.

JSTOR代表什么？

What does JSTOR stand for?

你认真的？

Just seriously?

现在就杀了我吧。

Kill me now.

呃，我不知道。

Like, I don't know.

我只是觉得，我这辈子从来没认真做过一次参考文献，却过得还不错。

I just feel like I'm doing really well in life for, like, never having done a proper bibliography.

我一直都在参考文献上丢分，你知道的？

Like, was always losing points on the bibliography, you know?

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得参考文献不是我最喜欢的，但也不是最讨厌的。

I feel like the bibliography wasn't my favorite, but it wasn't my least favorite.

参考文献啊，一旦做到那一步，就相当于大势已去。

Well, the bibliography, like, you got to that point, like, was the beginning of the end.

是的。

Yeah.

而且感觉就是，好吧，我只需要填上名字和数字就行了。

And it's like, okay, I just have to plug in names and numbers.

就像，我不用动脑筋。

Like, I don't have to think.

但我总是莫名其妙地做错。

But I was somehow like always doing it wrong.

是的。

Yeah.

不过现在我肯定有人会直接用bibliography.com这种工具帮我填。

Well, now I'm sure the people would do, like, plug in my bibliography.com.

不。

No.

聊天工具很可能有自己的格式，两秒就能暴露你。

Chat probably has its own format that would give you away in two seconds.

是面对面的。

It's in person.

是的。

Yeah.

就像我说的，有时候我睡不着或者别的什么情况时，我会想到，我真的很感激自己再也不用上学了。

Like I said, sometimes when I'm like, like, can't sleep or whatever, I do think about, like, the fact that I'm so grateful I never have to go to school again.

学校真的太糟糕了，作业啊，还有

Like, school was really just like the worst, like homework And

然后你睡着了，又回到学校。

then you go to sleep and you're back at school.

我做了太多梦了。

I have so many dreams.

我做了太多梦，以至于我都忘了这学期我没选四门课。

I have so many dreams that I forgot that I didn't take four classes this semester.

我的梦想当然是能按时毕业。

I mean, yeah, my my dream gonna be able to graduate on time.

是的。

Yeah.

我的梦想是，我大学选了一门课，去了前几节，嗯。

My dream is that, like, I signed up for a class in college and, like, I went to the first couple of Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

好吧。

Okay.

去了前几节课后，我就干脆把这门课退了。

Went to the first couple of sessions and then, like I dropped all about it.

不。

No.

我不记得我是退了课，还是继续上了。

I I don't remember if I dropped it, if I stayed in.

所以，我是不是因为这门课才毕业的？

So it's like, did I ever graduate because of that one class?

不是。

No.

我再也没有回去上过一些课，就像我退课了，但也没选别的课，所以我会差一个学分。

And I never went back to some of it, it's like I dropped it, but I never picked up another class, so I will be one credit short.

有些课我根本就没再去上过。

And some of it is I never went to class ever again.

我因为我的阑尾，他们还算我成绩吗？

Did I eat do they even count me anymore because of my appendage?

我交过任何作业吗？

Did I submit any?

我该怎么

And how am

才能通过期末考试呢？

I ever gonna pass the final?

每小时1000块。

1,000 per hour.

我甚至还得参加期末考试吗？

Do I even have to take the final?

那些简直是最糟糕的。

Those are the fucking worst.

而且我根本有没有做过那件事？

And it's like, did I ever even do that?

那件事在我的潜意识里

That that's in my subconscious where

你是说，我确实退过一门课？

I Did ever, had like, drop a class, you mean?

是的。

Yeah.

没有。

Like, no.

没有。

No.

然后看了《告诉我谎言》，情况更糟了。

And then watching Tell Me Lies, it didn't help.

它只是把所有那些情绪都唤回来了。

It just, brought all those feelings back.

我最近经常做梦。

I was having dreams a lot.

是的。

Yeah.

不。

No.

但这是反复出现的。

But that's recurring.

但对每个人来说都是如此。

But for everyone too.

我不知道是什么

And I don't know what

你知道，这就像一种普遍的

You know, that's like a universal

我在想，如果你没上过大学，你会做这样的梦吗？

I wonder, like, if you didn't go to college, do you have that dream?

你会梦到高中，或者你最近经历的教育体系。

You have it about high school or, like, whatever your most recent schooling system was.

你这么觉得吗？

You think?

我不知道。

I don't know.

在评论区说说你的看法。

Sound off the comments.

这就像一个不去上大学的理由。

It's like a reason to not go to college.

只是为了省去麻烦。

Just to save yourself the trouble.

是的。

Yeah.

在评论区说说你的看法。

Sound off in the comments.

如果你没上过大学，你的噩梦是什么？

If you didn't go to college, what are your nightmares about?

是的。

Yeah.

太棒了。

Love that.

今天我们有两个烤面包机。

We have two toasters today.

我们有一些关于‘粪自’的故事，所以我准备好了，你呢？

We have like stories about turd self, so I'm ready to dive in if you are.

我准备好了，别废话了，嘟嘟嘟嘟。

I'm ready without further ado, do do do do.

是时候分享那五个你必须知道的快速故事了。

It is time for the fast five stories that you do need to know.

你需要了解的五大速递故事由Velvet Caviar倾情呈现。

And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Velvet Caviar.

现在正是为春天更新科技配件的绝佳时机，Velvet Caviar为我们的听众提供独家买一送一优惠。

Now's the perfect time to refresh your tech accessories for spring and Velvet Caviar is giving our listeners an exclusive discount to buy one, get one free.

没错。

So that's right.

目前你可以享受他们所有手机壳及配套配件的买一送一优惠。

Right now you can buy one, get one free on all their phone cases, plus their matching accessories.

Velvet Caviar是我最喜欢的牌子之一，因为我们都会打理发型、搭配珠宝。

So Velvet Caviar is one of my favorite brands because, you know, we style our hair, we style our jewelry.

你也应该为你的手机搭配风格。

You should style your phone.

我们很多人都需要不同的手机配件，比如手机壳来保护手机。

A lot of us need different phone accessories, obviously a phone case to keep it safe.

是的，我也有一款。

Yes, have one too.

我也是一个网红。

I also am an influencer.

不知道你们知不知道这一点。

Don't know if you guys know that.

所以我需要这种带粘性的配件。

So I need this like sticky item.

有些人把手机当钱包、当手提包用。

Some people use their phones as wallets, as purses.

所以他们用各种不同的MagSafe配件，让手机看起来特别可爱。

So they have all these different MagSafe accessories to make your phone just like look really cute.

这不仅是另一种有趣的搭配方式，还能让手机安全又稳固。

It's just another fun thing to accessorize while also keeping your phone locked and loaded and safe.

Velvet Caviar是一个女性创立的品牌。

Velvet Caviar is a female founded brand.

他们总部位于纽约市，自2014年以来，一直致力于将时尚与科技融合，推出既美观又保护性强的手机壳。

They're based in New York City, and since 2014, they've been on a mission to merge the worlds of fashion and tech with their signature pretty but protective phone cases.

这些手机壳经过了高达10英尺的跌落测试。

The cases are drop tested up to 10 feet.

它们兼容MagSafe。

They are MagSafe compatible.

它们提供多种配件，如握环、钱包、手机挂饰、手机壳当然还有更多。

They have accessories like grip rings, wallets, phone charms, cases, of course, and more.

在未来20小时内，我们的听众使用我们的代码‘toast’，可以享受Velvet Caviar所有手机壳及配套配件买一送一的优惠。

So for the next twenty hours, our listeners can buy one, get one free on all of Velvet Caviar's phone cases and matching accessories with our code toast.

网址是velvetcaviar.com。

That's velvetcaviar.com.

结账时使用代码toast，访问velvetcaviar.com。

Use code toast at checkout velvetcaviar.com.

我们的代码是toast，T-O-A-S-T，使用这个代码可以享受手机壳、配件等商品买一送一的优惠。

Our code is toast, T O A S T, and that code will get you buy one, get one free on phone cases, accessories and more.

无论你正处于人生的哪个阶段，或者你喜欢什么样的风格，都让手机匹配你的个性吧。

Whatever like season of life or whatever like aesthetic you're currently in, like let your phone match your vibe.

这就是那种感觉。

That's the vibe.

thecaviar.com，优惠码 toast。

Thecaviar.com code toast.

今天的节目还由 Roback 赞助。

Today's episode is also brought to you by Roback.

我们代表 Roback 有一些非常令人兴奋的消息。

We have some very exciting news on Roback's behalf.

如果你是常驻听众，你应该知道我们经常谈论 Roback，因为我们真的很喜欢他们的产品。

If you are a regular listener, you know that we talk all the time about Roback because we really love their stuff.

如果你喜欢戴安娜公主风格的高领衫、骑行短裤，那种非常九十年代、坦率地说，卡罗琳·巴塞特的风格。

And if you're into the Princess Diana aesthetic of like mock necks, biker shorts, just like very nineties, very honestly, Carolyn Bassett.

而这正是 Roback 新品所呈现的风格。

And this is exactly what Roback is serving in their new drops.

所以他们的高领衫已经补货了。

So their mock neck is back in stock.

现在圆领衫正非常流行，而Roback是其中最受欢迎的品牌之一。

Mock necks are having a really big moment right now, and Roback is one of the most popular ones.

TikTok上所有时髦的女孩都在穿它。

All the cool girls on TikTok are wearing them.

上面有非常可爱的刺绣图案。

It's very cute embroidery on it.

它有海军蓝和象牙白两种颜色。

It comes in navy and ivory.

上次这款圆领衫上架时，不到一周就售罄了。

The last time they dropped this mock neck, it sold out in under a week.

所以如果你一直在等它重新上架，或者上次因为各种原因没买到，现在就是最佳时机。

So if you've been waiting for it to come back or you couldn't get one last time for whatever reason, now is the time.

Roback还首次推出了骑行短裤套装。

Robek also just launched biker short sets for the very first time.

它们有经典的蓝色和海军蓝，还新增了一种非常新颖且漂亮的配色。

So they come in classic staples like blue and navy, plus a very a new, very pretty colorway.

这是一种叫做 bunker blue 的蓝色。

It's a blue called bunker blue.

他们的套装非常舒适、显身材，再搭配一件高领衫，整体造型既优雅又运动风，像戴安娜王妃一样。

Their sets are very comfortable, very flattering, and then you throw a mock neck right on top and you're very chic, very sporty princess, very Princess Diana.

我们和 Roback 已经合作很久了。

And we've been partners of Roback for a long time.

我们是他们的忠实粉丝，他们总是提供非常慷慨的折扣。

We're big fans and they always give a really generous discount.

如果你一直想买点什么，就用我们的代码 toast 访问 roback.com。

If you've been wanting to get something, use our code toast at roback.com.

使用这个代码，你可以在本周末前享受首单 20% 的折扣。

That will get you 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

Roback 的官网是 rhoback.com。

Roback is rhoback.com.

代码是 toast，T-O-A-S-T，使用它可以在本周末前享受首单丰厚的 20% 折扣。

The code is toast, T O A S T, and that will get you a generous 20% off your first order through the end of this week.

感谢Roback长期以来的合作，以及你们在打造舒适派对服饰方面的承诺。

Thank you, Roback, for your long standing partnership and your commitment to making party wears that are both comfortable.

哦，别忘了看看男装系列。

Oh, and check out the men's stuff.

真的很可爱，特别是对于那些不想穿着运动裤看起来邋遢的男人来说。

Really cute, especially like for a man who like you don't want them to look like a slob with them wearing sweatpants.

今天的节目，抱歉，我有点情绪化了。

Today's episode excuse me, I got emotional.

今天的节目由Clear Stem赞助，这是一家卓越的护肤品牌，我们非常兴奋地介绍他们最新推出的产品——玻璃效应即时保湿面部与颈部面膜。

Today's episode is brought to you by Clear Stem, a parjolicious skincare company, and we are really excited to talk about their newest launch, which is the Glass Effect Instant Hydrating Face and Neck Mask.

我是个特别在意脖子的人。

So I'm a neck girl.

我总是担心自己的脖子。

Like I'm always worried about my neck.

我的脖子上有一些细纹。

I have like fine lines in my neck.

我花很多时间在手机上。

I spend a lot of time on my phone.

如果你在办公室工作，可能会得一种叫‘科技颈’的毛病。

If you work at a desk, you might have a thing called Tech Neck.

所以在这个时代，作为有一定年纪的女性，以及身处数字世界中的女性，我们都应该好好护理自己的脖子。

So we should all be in this day and age, like as women of a certain age and as women in the digital landscape, we should be taking care of our neck.

像颈霜、颈膜，我特别喜欢这个Clear Stem的产品。

And so like neck creams, neck masks, I love this clear stem product.

这是一种新的片状面膜。

It's a new sheet mask.

它不仅能呵护你的脸部，还能照顾你的脖子。

It supports your face, but also your neck.

这款面膜通过平滑肌肤、改善肤质，为你打造完美的底妆基础。

This mask creates a perfect canvas by smoothing the skin, fixing texture.

它非常温和，特别适合因痘痘或刺激性护理而敏感的皮肤。

It's very smoothing, so it's ideal if you have irritated skin from breakouts or harsh treatments.

我们都应该好好护理自己的脖子。

We should just all be taking care of our necks.

我觉得在护肤方面，脖子这个部位经常被忽视。

I feel like neck is a very like it's a very forgotten about area when when it comes to skin care.

很多人化妆时都会把粉底留在脖子上，整天整夜都不洗掉。

Think a lot of people like a lot of like dirt makeup that they leave on their neck throughout the night and day.

所以护理脖子真的非常重要。

And so just taking care of your neck is really important.

ClearStem 是一个很棒的品牌。

And ClearStem is a great brand.

它是第一个通过补充剂和外用产品连接内外护肤的祛痘品牌，且不含致痘成分。

It's the first acne brand that connects internal and external skin care through supplements, topicals, no pore clogging ingredients.

大多数抗衰老产品都会导致长痘。

Most antiaging products will break you out.

大多数祛痘产品会加速衰老。

Most anti acne products age you.

现在有了ClearStem。

Now there's ClearStem.

他们通过完整的护肤流程、营养补充和临床验证的外用产品，从内到外解决痘痘问题。

They target breakouts inside and out with a full routine, nutrition, supplements and clinically effective topicals.

所以Clear不止于表面肌肤。

So Clear is more than skin deep.

在TikTok上爆火的畅销产品Mind Body Skin，我认为是很多人接触ClearStem的入门产品。

The TikTok viral bestseller Mind Body Skin, which I think is like a gateway product for a lot of people to clear stem.

它从根源上针对荷尔蒙性痘痘，且没有剧烈的副作用。

It targets hormonal acne at the root without the harsh side effects.

所以，体验ClearStem的不同之处吧，因为清透肌肤能改变一切。

So discover the clear stem difference because clear skin changes everything.

前往clearstem.com/toast。

Go to clearstem.com/toast.

结账时使用代码toast，即可享受首单15%折扣。

Use code toast at checkout for 15% off your first order.

clearstem.com/toast

Clearstem.com/toast.

使用代码 toast 享受 15% 折扣

Code toast for 15% off.

clearstem.com/toast

Clearstem.com/toast.

谢谢，Clear Tert。

Thank you, Clear Tert.

不客气。

You're welcome.

我们的第一个故事：新一季《纽约主妇》的演员阵容已公布，第一部分。

Our first story, new RHONY cast members have been revealed part one of her story.

是的。

Yeah.

因此， Bravo 昨天宣布了《纽约主妇》新一季的新演员阵容。

So Real Housewives of New York and Bravo announced yesterday the new cast members for the new season of Real Housewives of New York.

一些熟悉的名字，包括埃琳·利奇和杰塞尔·塔恩克。

Some familiar names including Erin Lichy, Jessel Taank.

我们了解

We know

还有赛。

And Sai.

我们在这里非常了解杰塞尔。

We know Jessel very well here.

当然。

Of course.

我就坐在她旁边。

I'm sitting next to her.

杰塞尔。

Jessel.

还有赛·德席尔瓦。

And Sai De Silva.

所以看起来其他所有以前的演员，好像都离开了。

So it seems like everyone else from previous casts, like, has been Uba's gone.

珍娜·莱昂斯也离开了。

Jenna Lyons is gone.

我忘了还有谁，根本不知道。

I forget who don't even know.

哦，丽贝卡·明科夫。

Oh, Rebecca Minkoff.

好的。

Okay.

所以现在只剩下这三位来自最初重启版的演员了。

So it's just these three girls from the original reboot cast.

好的。

Okay.

然后他们又加入了艾丽卡·哈蒙德，她是名人健身教练，也是克劳迪娅的朋友。

And then they've added Erica Hammond, who is a celebrity fitness trainer and friend of Claudia's.

她是个很棒的选角。

She's a great casting.

她非常漂亮。

She's very pretty.

她非常富有。

She's very wealthy.

她的丈夫。

Her husband.

哦，他们是我们的赞助商之一。

Oh, they're one of our sponsors built.

Built Rewards。

Built Rewards.

这是一家奖励公司，用户通过消费可以获得积分，这家公司就是他创办的。

It's like the rewards company that gives you points for He paying started that company.

实际上，他是本的非常好的朋友。

Actually, he's one of Ben's really good friends.

他们是一对非常有趣的夫妻。

They're like a very interesting couple.

他们旅行经历非常丰富。

They're like very well traveled.

他们非常、非常富有。

They're very, very wealthy.

她的背景非常有趣。

And she has like such an interesting background.

她是Rumble的联合创始人之一，就是那个流行的搏击平台。

She's one of the co founders of Rumble, like the popular boxing.

她曾经是WWE的选手。

And she used to be in the WWE.

所以我们想邀请的就是这种类型的女性。

So that's the type of gal we want to see.

这简直是完美的选角。

It's literally a perfect casting.

我知道她会上这个节目。

I knew she was going be on the show.

我几个月前就得知了。

I found out a couple of months ago.

我想，你知道吗？

I thought, you know what?

希望永存。

Hope reigns eternal.

哦，你知道吗？

Oh, you knew that?

我是知道的。

I did know that.

我觉得这真是完美的选角。

And I thought it was really a perfect casting.

我不知道这件事发生了。

I didn't know that was happening.

当我们谈论《纽约主妇》时，总是在说那些富裕、有趣的女人。

When when we talk about Real Housewives of New York, we're always talking about affluent women, interesting women.

我当时想，太好了，也许她和她的一些富人朋友会加入。

And I thought, great, maybe her and some of her like wealthy friends will be.

看来他们选中艾丽卡是对的，但我真的不知道他们后来怎么安排其他人的。

And it seems like they got it right with Erica and I genuinely don't know where they went with the rest of them.

另一位女士是黛西·托伊，一位名人化妆师。

So then the other lady is Daisy Toy, who's a celebrity makeup artist.

我觉得她为玛莎·斯图尔特做化妆。

I think she does Martha Stewart.

还有海莉·格拉斯曼，她是一名公关专业人士。

And then Hailey Glassman, who is a public relations professional.

我觉得她的出名之处是她曾经和约翰·戈塞林约会过。

And I think her, like, claim to fame is that she used to date John Gosselin.

哦，是吗。

Oh, yeah.

我觉得是前妻。

She ex wife, I think.

真的吗？

Oh, really?

我不知道。

I don't know.

我以为我看到的是前妻。

I thought I saw ex wife.

是女朋友。

Was girlfriend.

随便吧。

Whatever.

前女友。

Ex girlfriend.

我太困惑了。

I was so confused.

我觉得《纽约女郎》重启版从一开始就搞错了。

I feel like the RHONY reboot, like, really got it wrong.

从一开始就是这样。

Like, from the start.

而且，是的，他们一直拒绝承认这一点。

And, yeah, from the they kind of refused to acknowledge that.

所以，多年来人们一直在说，请把原始阵容简化为杰塞尔、艾琳和赛。

So anything people have been saying for years, like, please boil down the original cast to Jessel, Erin, and Sai.

这三位是最受喜爱的。

Like, those were the three who were most liked.

所以他们终于，有点听进了粉丝的意见。

And so they finally, like, listened to the fans a little bit.

我不明白他们为什么非要这么随意，还这么杂乱无章，对吧？

I don't know why they had to, like, go so random and also like so all over the place, right?

因为正如我所说，艾丽卡才是最适合这个节目的人选。

Because like I said, Erica is the perfect person for this.

她为什么和约翰·戈塞林的前妻同在一个节目里？

Why is she on the same show as John Gosselin's ex girlfriend?

是啊，我真的很困惑。

Like, yeah, I'm so confused.

我真的很困惑。

I'm so confused.

但后来，为了自己搞清楚这一切，我早就知道艾丽卡，于是我就很好奇。

But then, like, obviously, to make everything by myself, I had known Erica, and then I was curious.

我不认识另外两个人。

I didn't know the other two people.

于是我开始深入挖掘。

And so I was like doing a deep dive.

我在杜蒙特频道正式宣布之前，就亲眼看到上面写着海莉·格拉斯曼。

And when I saw I literally saw it on Dumont before they announced it, said Haley Glassman.

我当时就想，这个名字怎么这么耳熟。

And I was like, that name sounds so familiar.

我看到了。

Like I saw it.

听起来不熟悉。

It didn't sound familiar.

看起来有点眼熟。

It looked familiar.

我觉得我以前见过这个名字。

Like I'd seen that name before.

我心想，这人是谁？

I was like, who the fuck?

我为什么认识这个名字？

Why do I know this name?

我去看了她的Instagram。

Went to her Instagram.

我心想，等等。

And I was like, oh, wait.

我想我知道了。

I think I know.

所以我去看了我们的聊天记录，然后我说，对，就是她。

So I went to our messages and I was like, yes.

你知道，我们有一些人专门来故意挑衅我们，我们知道他们的名字，比如那个叫梅根的女孩。

You know, we have people who, like, troll us professionally and, like, we know their names, that girl, Megan, like.

是的。

Yeah.

而且我预约的人也没几个。

And then there's not that many that I book.

对。

Yeah.

有那么几个名字，我一看到就觉得这人麻烦。

There are a couple names that I'm like, this one's trouble.

对。

Yes.

我当时想，天哪。

And I was like, my god.

对。

Yes.

我往上翻了翻。

I scroll up.

我们肯定有，呃，不是我们。

We must have like, well, not we.

自从2017年以来，她给我发了大概五十条消息。

She has messaged me probably like 50 times since 2017.

最疯狂的是，我注意到在我发TikTok之前，她就已经取关我了。

And the crazy thing is I noticed she unfollowed me before I made my TikTok or anything.

她已经对你没兴趣了。

Like she she's done with you.

她已经不想理了。

She's done with it.

一直是长期粉丝。

Been a long time fan.

她总是故意逗我。

And she's always like trolling me.

她主要在议论我的体重。

She's making mostly about my weight.

她显然是那种极度痴迷体重的人。

She's clearly like one of these like just weight obsessed people.

她一直评论我的体重。

She was always commenting on my weight.

我觉得她家可能开了一家整形外科公司，是的，

I think her family owns a plastic surgery company like, yeah,

肯定是，因为她曾在私信里打上了Glassman整形外科的标签。

they must because she was hashtagging Glassman Plastic Surgery in the DM.

她给我发消息说，你怎么瘦了这么多，该去做个颈部拉皮了。

She was sending me messages being like, why you've lost a lot of weight when you need a neck lift off.

我会给你找对的医生。

I'll find the right doctor for you.

我当时想，天啊，好吧。

I'm like, oh my God, Okay.

她一直在说本胖。

She was calling Ben fat.

就像她这段时间给我发的私信。

Like her DMs to me over the course.

其中一些私信其实很友善，比如你怀孕时祝你开心，这确实是事实。

And some of them are also really nice being like, so happy for you when you got pregnant, which is true.

就像疯狂粉丝的骚扰行为。

Like crazy fan troll behavior.

你最大的喷子往往也是你最大的粉丝，同时也是你最大的黑粉。

Like your biggest trolls are your biggest fans and your biggest haters.

所以这一直是个常见的套路。

So like that's always like very a trope.

就像当你回应一个骂你丑的喷子时，你会说：不好意思。

Like when you respond to like a hater who's like calling you ugly, you were like, excuse me.

然后他们就说：天啊，对不起。

And they're like, oh my gosh, sorry.

我超爱你的。

I love you so much.

这简直是一种心理疾病，你对这个人既极度痴迷又极度憎恶。

It's like a real mental disease where, like, you're obsessed with this person in both positive and negative extreme ways.

所以我当时就想，这人怎么可能是真正的主妇？

So I was like, how is this person a real housewife?

你都黑我快十年了，但我甚至都不知道该怎么形容这种行为。

Like, you've been trolling me for almost ten years, but I don't even know what to call it.

她到底算是粉丝还是黑粉？

Like, because is she a fan or is she a hater?

我实在搞不明白。

Like, I couldn't put it together.

她有点两者兼而有之。

She's like a bit of both.

真的就是两者兼而有之。

Like, really a bit of both.

这让我想起了盐湖城的莫妮卡，一个疯狂的网络喷子变成了家庭主妇。

And it was reminding me of Monica from Salt Lake City, like a crazy Internet troll becoming a housewife.

是的。

Yeah.

我当时正处于睡眠测试中。

And I was so on a sleep test.

所以我不骗你。

So I'm not going to lie.

不是这个，不是关于我的事。

Like, not this, like, being about me.

和你有关。

Having to do with you.

当然，我还为此拍了一个TikTok视频。

Of course, made a TikTok about it.

我不确定会不会有人在意，一点都不会。

I wasn't sure people were going to care, like, at all.

那个TikTok视频一下子火遍全网。

And the TikTok blew everywhere.

我觉得这真的太疯狂了，因为对于《主妇》系列里的角色，你本以为她们是体面的人，根本没空做出这种行为。

I just think it's really crazy because for a Real Housewife, like you expect that it's like a dignified individual who's hopefully too busy to even be leading in behavior like this.

我们对《主妇》角色的期待本不该是这样的。

That's not what we expect from Real Housewives.

当然，本该是这样的。

Like, of course, it's supposed to

它就是我们总说的那种非常。

be it's we always say it's like a very.

为什么我就是记不起这个‘向往’这个词？

Why can I never remember this Aspirational?

谢谢。

Thank you.

这个节目本应是关于成功、富有、魅力非凡的女性的励志节目，是我们都想成为的那种人。

It's supposed be an aspirational show about women who are successful, women who are wealthy, women who are fabulous and women who we would like to be.

现在，显然近年来这个节目已经转向了非常典型的真人秀风格。

Now, obviously, the show has, like, taken a turn in recent years where it's very just like reality TV.

所以我感到有些矛盾，因为虽然这并不是我小时候看的《主妇》系列，但在当今时代，你越疯狂，制作出的电视节目就越精彩。

So I feel a little conflicted because while, like, you know, this is not the Real Housewives I grew up with, In this day and age, like, the crazier you are, the better TV you make.

而一个真正疯狂、精神失常的人，才能成为长达近十年的职业喷子，我总觉得她会在节目中表现得非常出色。

And, like, a really crazy deranged person is what it takes to, like, be a professional troll for almost a decade that I kind of feel like she's gonna be amazing on

在节目中。

the show.

也许是因为那些私信真的太疯狂了。

Maybe because, like, those DMs were, like, wild.

这些私信展现了一种古怪的个性，或许能造就精彩的电视内容。

They speak to, like, some sort of wacky personality that might make for good TV.

而且当

And when

当我们想到过去那个令人惊叹的季度中的伟大人物时，比如阿什莉·雅各布斯。

we think about, like, the greats in terms of, like, the last, you know, amazing season, like, we think of, like, the Ashley Jacobs.

那真是疯狂的时光。

Like, that was crazy times.

你会想到真正疯狂的人。

Like, you think of, like, truly crazy people.

我不认为阿什莉·雅各布斯是伟大的人物之一。

I don't consider Ashley Jacobs one of the greats.

我觉得不，不是。

I think I think No.

但那确实是一段很有趣的时光。

But that was such a fun time.

我不知道。

I don't know.

那真的非常黑暗。

It was really dark.

其实确实很黑暗。

It was dark, actually.

你说得对。

You're right.

那真的非常黑暗。

It was really dark.

而且我

And I

我不知道。

don't know.

我只是觉得，要想成为成功的真人秀反派，你必须是个真正疯狂的人。

I just think, like, in order to be, like, a successful reality TV villain, you have to be, like, a legitimate crazy person.

我觉得他们可能不想

And I think they might not want

我在她身上找到了一个。

found one in her.

是的。

Yeah.

所以人们正在离开

So people are, like, leaving

我的粉丝评论都愿意不总是表现得那么完美。

my People comments are willing to just, like, not look so amazing all the time.

那些一无所有的人。

People who have nothing to lose.

是的。

Yeah.

但并不是说他们故意装出一副不在乎形象的样子。

And but but not that they're putting it on, like, oh, I don't care how I look.

我要当那个反派。

I'm gonna be the villain.

他们根本控制不住自己。

It's like they seriously can't help themselves.

没错。

Correct.

就像汤姆·桑多瓦尔那样，非常自恋。

Like very Tom Sandoval, very narcissistic.

所以我的几乎所有评论都是刷屏式的：加油，干得漂亮。

So a lot of my almost all my comments are, like, flooded, add, bravo.

赶紧开除她。

Like, fire her.

我只是想说，我不希望她被开除。

I just wanna say, I do not want her to be fired.

这个节目真是又随机又怪异。

Like, this franchise is so random and weird.

当然。

Like, sure.

加一个疯子进去。

Throw in a crazy person.

也许那就是他们一直缺少的东西。

Like, maybe that's just the thing they've been missing.

也许他们选的所有人，都太正常了。

Maybe everyone maybe everyone they've cast have been, like, a little too sound

理智。

of mind.

是的。

Yeah.

然后还要安全。

And then safe.

而且没人想毁掉他们的生活。

And nobody wants to, like, ruin their lives.

所以我当时发那个TikTok，并不是真的要她被开除

So I wasn't making the TikTok, like, calling for her to

被解雇。

be fired.

我只是想说，请别解雇她。

Just wanna say, like, please don't fire her.

她听起来挺有意思的。

Like, she sounds kind of interesting.

她听起来再合适不过了。

Like She sounds perfect.

是的。

Yeah.

因为这根本不是什么完美选角了。

Because, like, it's not like it's this perfect cast already.

我不清楚这个系列到底怎么了，为什么他们就是不肯下定论。

Like, I don't know what's going on with the franchise and why they kind of refuse to call it.

但好吧。

But sure.

咱们找个疯子加进去吧。

Let's throw a crazy person in there.

是的。

Yeah.

我同意。

I agree.

我不觉得她应该被解雇。

I I don't think she needs to be fired.

不。

No.

别解雇她。

Don't fire her.

我好奇她会不会主动联系你。

I wonder if she'll reach out to you.

哦，她，哦，抱歉。

Oh, she oh, sorry.

她把我拉黑了。

She blocked me.

她把吐司（账号）拉黑了。

She blocked the toast.

她把我个人Instagram账号也拉黑了，她这是在自己的

She blocked my, like, personal Instagram plug She's in her

一个将军。

a shogan.

我的意思是，我能理解。

I mean, I understand.

想象一下她昨天可能有个重要的日子，但问题是，她本应该直接承认的。

Imagine she's having, like, a big day yesterday and and, like but the thing is, like, she's she's just You should've just owned it.

她本应该直接告诉大家她是谁。

You just, like, told everyone who she is.

这甚至不是她做了什么，比如，哦，就那一次。

Like, it's not even like she did something that, like, once that was like, oh.

是的

Yeah.

不

No.

我只是想说，即使你没有道歉，我也原谅你。

And I just wanna say, like, I forgive you even though you haven't apologized.

你能明白吗？

Like, you understand?

是的

Yeah.

不

No.

不

No.

我不是。

I wasn't.

我其实真的不希望她被解雇。

I actually really do not want her to be fired.

我不觉得她会被解雇，但我真的不希望她被解雇。

I don't think she's going to be, but I I don't want her to be.

是的。

Yeah.

不。

No.

不。

No.

而现在，因为说实话，我真的很感兴趣。

And now because, like, now I'm honestly intrigued.

是的。

Yeah.

哦，等等。

Oh, wait.

这个故事的另一部分是卡罗尔·拉德韦尔。

And the other part of the story is that Carol Radswell.

他们在公布《RHONY传承》的阵容之前，就已经宣布了卡罗尔将以朋友身份回归。

They announced Carol coming back as a friend of RHONY Legacy before they announced the cast.

所以我当时

So I was

心想，新来的女孩里肯定有一个是卡罗尔的朋友。

like, oh, one of the new girls must be a friend of Carol.

不是。

No.

她在这档节目里到底在干什么？

What the hell is she doing on this show?

我不知道。

I don't know.

我听说她曾起诉瑞恩·墨菲，阻止他在《爱情故事》中使用她的名字。

And I heard that she, like, sued Ryan Murphy into not using her name in Love Story.

这就是她完全没出现的原因。

That's why she's not in it at all.

哦，有意思。

Oh, interesting.

不过我要说，瑞安·墨菲根本不在乎。

Although I will say Ryan Murphy doesn't give a fuck.

你看到他说了关于杰克·施洛斯伯格的什么吗？

Did you see what he said about Jack Schlossberg?

没有。

No.

杰克·施洛斯伯格就是那种，你知道的，在做杰克的事。

Jack Schlossberg is, like, you know, doing Jack

施洛斯伯格在说这个节目的坏话。

Schlossberg is talking shit about the show.

嗯，杰克·施洛斯伯格刚做了一个大采访，这就是为什么这事又翻出来了。

Well, so it's Jack Schlossberg just did a big interview, which is why this is coming back.

但当这部剧公布时，那些狗仔队的照片泄露出来，他说这是我的家人，都是真实的人。

But when the show was announced and those paparazzi pictures got leaked, he was like, this is my family, real people.

瑞安·墨菲在播客中被问到这件事时，他说：我根本不在乎这个人怎么想。

And Ryan Murphy was asked about it on a podcast and he was like, I don't really care what this person thinks.

他根本就没见过约翰·F。

Like, he never even met John F.

肯尼迪 Jr。

Kennedy Jr.

现在，是的，施洛斯伯格当时真的很年轻。

And now, yes, Schaechsberg was really young.

瑞安说这种话简直太疯狂了。

It's kind of a crazy fucking thing for Ryan to say.

但瑞安根本不在乎。

But Ryan doesn't give a fuck.

这正是我的意思。

That's what I mean.

所以我怀疑他会害怕卡罗尔·拉佐韦尔，只是这么一说。

So I doubt he could be intimidated by Carol Radzowell, like, just saying.

是的。

Yeah.

他连真正的肯尼迪都不怕。

He wasn't intimidated by an actual Kennedy.

我觉得人们不会害怕杰克。

I don't think people are intimidated by Jack.

我觉得这很容易成为攻击目标。

I think that's, like, an easy one to go after.

对。

Yes.

我只是想说，杰克·施洛斯伯格让我很烦，因为他一直在接受各种采访，说《肯尼迪》这部剧有多差、多刻薄之类的。

I just wanna say, like, Jack Schlossberg is pissing me off because, like, he's doing all this press about how bad the Kennedy show is and it's mean and yada yada.

而且，好吧。

And it's like, sure.

也许瑞恩·墨菲可以多采访一些肯尼迪家族的人，让他们更多地参与进来。

Well, maybe Ryan Murphy, like, could have spoken to more Kennedys about it, like involved him more.

但他其实是在蹭肯尼迪家族复兴的热度。

But he's really, like, riding the coattails of this Kennedy resurgence.

他搞了个国会竞选活动。

Like, he has this, like, like, campaign for Congress.

他过得逍遥自在，穿着像 JFK，参加活动也模仿 JFK Jr.

And he's, like, living it up, dressing like JFK, doing events like JFK Jr.

人们之所以再次关注，完全是因为这部剧。

And the only reason people care again is because of this show.

所以，你一边大力抨击它，一边又从中获益良多。

So, like, you're knocking it so much when you're benefiting so greatly from it.

你干脆闭嘴不好吗？

Like, why don't you just, like quiet?

是的。

Yeah.

我并没有太关注，但我确实觉得我得再多看几集，不过我不确定。

I am not paying that much attention, but I do feel like and I have to watch more episodes, but I don't know.

我觉得他们对这两个人根本一无所知。

I do feel like they don't know the first thing about those two.

因为，对不起。

I because I'm sorry.

每当我想到公园里的那场争斗，你就已经三十多岁了。

Like, the more I think about the fight in the park, you're well into your thirties.

你一生都是公众人物，却在公园里和你生命中的挚爱——你的女朋友大打出手。

You've been a public figure your entire life and you're fighting with your girlfriend, the love of your life physically in the park.

是的。

Yeah.

这简直像个疯子。

That's like a crazy person.

是的。

Yeah.

我觉得卡罗琳尤其非常低调。

And that's what I feel like Carolyn specifically was so private.

比如，公开的采访只有两次，而且每段只有三十秒。

Like, there's only, like, two on record interviews, and they're thirty seconds long.

她就像在躲避狗仔队一样。

She's just like being paparazzi.

没人真正了解她的性格。

Nobody really knows her personality.

所以我们只能边走边编。

So it's we're sort of making it up as we go.

有几本关于她的传记，但它们说的内容互相矛盾。

There's like a couple of biographies written about her, they all say conflicting things, mind you.

所以，根本没人了解她。

So, like, nobody knows her.

而我们所了解的肯尼迪，是经过总统级别精心包装的媒体形象。

And the version of JFK that we know is like the presidential polished press version.

那并不是他真实的模样。

That's not who he really was.

所以我们只是在猜测，甚至是在虚构。

So we're just sort of guessing and, like, fictionalizing.

这没问题。

Which okay.

当然。

Sure.

但我确实觉得这将成为记录。

But I do feel like this will be the Record.

关于他们真实身份的记录是什么。

What's on record about who they were.

如果我们不知道，就随意发布并声称这就是他们的真面目，这有点疯狂。

And if we don't know, it's kind of crazy to just put that out there and say this is who they were.

这就像王冠代表王室一样，我觉得他们做得相当不错。

It's kind of like how the crown represents the royal family, and I feel like they did a pretty good job.