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早上好，姑娘们。
Good morning, girlies.
这是Tos。
It's the Tos.
这是杰克逊，克劳丁，你们是主持人。
It's Jackson, Claudine, where you're host.
这是你们最爱的节目——五个你必须知道的快速资讯。
It's your favorite show, the fast five things you need to know.
我们用旋风般的方式开启你们的一天。
We'll start your day off swirly.
这是吐司。
It's the toast.
我听起来太棒了。
I sound amazing.
欢迎回到吐司环节，周二快乐。
Welcome back to the toast and happy Tuesday.
这感觉像是星期一，至少对我来说是这样，因为我有太多事情要做。
That feels like a Monday, at least for me, because I have so much to do.
我觉得本只是说，我相信他已经尽力了。
I feel like Ben was just like, I'm sure he did his best.
我没看。
I didn't watch it.
欢迎回到‘turt’，我想你指的是这个。
Welcome back to the turt, I think is what you mean.
好的。
Sure.
欢迎回到‘turt’，欢迎回来。
Welcome back to the turt, and welcome back.
我有太多话想说了。
I have so much to say.
你知道的？
You know?
我试着把所有这些信息都转交给本，但他
And I tried to, like, offload all this information to Ben, but he
做得很好。
just did great.
我知道。
I know.
但他看了。
But he watched.
克劳迪娅在形成自己的观点，
Claudia's On forming his own opinions,
但其实已经有了自己的看法。
but like, had the opinions.
我只是觉得，它会搞定的。
I just like, it's gonna do.
不，不。
No, no.
我希望听到他毫无保留的意见。
I want his unbridled opinion.
还有其他人觉得吗
Did anybody else feel
对贾斯汀·汀布莱克感到难过吗？
bad for Justin Timberlake?
没有。
No.
是的。
Yeah.
不，我们没有。
No, we didn't.
我笑得不行，就像本说如果你抛锚了，就可以酒后驾车。
I was cracking up, like not Ben be saying you can drink and drive if you're stranded.
哦，他是这么说的吗？
Oh, is that what he said?
我得看看。
I need to watch.
我同意。
I agree.
我之前发过视频给他。
I sent him the videos before.
我的意思是，虽然不是那个意思，但他说的话听起来确实像是在给予许可。
Meant, but, like, the way the words came out, it did sound like he was giving permission.
他在施恩？
He was giving grace?
他在给一个被困的人开绿灯。
He was giving permission to someone who is stranded.
所以我把两个视频发给他了，跟他说：你得先看看，因为事情是这样的。
So I sent him the two videos, and I like, you have to watch this before because, like, here's what happened.
那个视频本来是想，呃，被传唤去，搞清楚，不管怎样。
The video was trying to, like, subpoenaed to, like, get it, whatever.
所以我认为他打电话给我时，以为我会做出同样的反应。
And so I don't I think he called me thinking I would have the same reaction.
他说，那个视频太糟糕了。
He was like, that video was horrible.
我说，我同意。
I'm like, I agree.
他说，完全没有隐私可言。
He was like, like, no privacy.
我说，他没能让视频发布出来，是因为他是名人。
I'm like, well, he didn't get the video released because he's a celebrity.
每个人都会让自己的视频发布出来的。
Like, everyone gets their videos released.
这就像我们生活的这个国家。
It's like the country that we live in.
这就是规则。
Like, that's the rules.
他问：‘真的吗？’
He was like, really?
这感觉太不对劲了。
This just feels so wrong.
我说：‘好吧。’
I'm like, okay.
今天第一个故事是你对昨天那些事件的看法，我需要听听你的意见，因为发生了一些事情，我们需要你的回应。
First story today is gonna be your take on the stories from yesterday that I need your takes on because there were a couple things that happened that we needed to hear from you.
听到本的说法挺有趣的。
It was funny to hear from Ben.
我们玩得非常开心。
We had a grand old time.
嗯。
Mhmm.
但关于贾斯汀·汀布莱克的CUI视频，我就是需要图迪的看法。
But Justin Timberlake, CUI video, like, just need Turdy's take.
当然。
Of course.
所以我们来道歉。
And so we'll get Sorry.
你说奇怪不奇怪，我昨天病得特别厉害。
Like, of all the days, I was so sick yesterday.
说实话，你知道吗，我其实特别有责任心，工作态度非常好。
Like, actually, you know, I'm kind of like a really like, I have an amazing work ethic.
除非实在没办法，我从来不会缺席。
It takes a lot for me not to come.
是的。
Yeah.
我病得可厉害了。
I was so sick.
我不知道现在外面到底在流行什么。
I don't know what the hell is going around.
我觉得我得了新冠。
I feel like I had COVID.
真的特别严重。
Like, it was so bad.
我现在感觉好多了。
And I'm feeling so much better.
所以我真的就是那种人，就像我之前说的，我的工作态度很好。
So I really I'm like the type of person, because like I said, about my work ethic.
一旦感觉好一点，我就立刻恢复到平时的活动量，然后就再也好不了了。
Once I feel a little bit better, I, like, go back to my normal level of activity, and then I never get better.
所以当时我在《冰雪奇缘》现场时病得特别厉害。
So I was like, I just need to I was so sick at Disney on Ice.
还得聊聊《冰雪奇缘》。
Also need to talk about Disney on
那我们就聊聊这些故事吧。
So we'll talk about the stories and the stories.
想跟图德本人聊聊。
Wanna catch up with Turd's self.
是的。
Yeah.
你感觉怎么样？
How are you feeling?
好多了。
So much better.
你得过这个病吗？
Did you have this?
这种病一直在困扰我们全家。
Like, it's this is like the the illness that's been rocking our family.
我不想说坏话。
So I don't wanna jinx anything.
我现在一直在打喷嚏，但我觉得可能是过敏，因为现在是过敏季。
And right now I'm having the sneezes, but I do think it might be allergies because it's allergy season.
所以我只是想退后一步。
And so I'm just gonna like back.
我不会说我没有感染，因为那样的话我就会感染。
I'm not gonna say I I didn't get it because then I'll get it.
我真的不知道发生了什么。
I I don't really know what's happening.
天哪。
Oh my god.
简直太糟糕了。
Was extremely rough.
就像，我只是觉得。
Like and I it was just like
你已经产生抗体了，抗体了。
You made it antibodies, antibodies.
我甚至在想要不要喝你的牛奶。
Actually thinking of even drinking your milk.
我当时真是绝望到这种地步了。
Like, that's how desperate I was.
我喘不过气来。
I could not breathe.
我现在好些了，但迪士尼冰上表演时我最难受，其实我不该去的，可天啊，我们非得去。
I'm better, but like it did hit me the hardest at Disney On Ice and I shouldn't have went, but like, Oh my God, we have to go.
尽管我中场休息后马上就走了，因为我快撑不住了，但我还是非去不可。
And like I just had to go even though I did leave like right after intermission because I was dying.
那场面非常绚丽。
It was quite dazzling.
我们在车里放了一个迪士尼冰上表演的歌单，有些歌我根本没听过。
I we put on, like, a Disney on Ice playlist in the car, and, like, some of the songs I didn't recognize.
然后我们就说，等等。
And we were like, wait.
这是新版本的迪士尼吗？
Is this, like, new age Disney?
我忘了现在孩子们喜欢的迪士尼，已经不是我小时候看的那些了。
Like, I forget that, like, the Disney that kids love today is, like, not the shit I grew up with.
我小时候看的是元老级的那些。
Like, I grew up with the OGs.
懂吗？
Know?
比如哪些？
Like Which is what?
挺让人困惑的。
Like confusing.
从《小美人鱼》到《美女与野兽》。
From Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast.
而现在我觉得孩子们都迷上了《寻梦环游记》和《冰雪奇缘》。
And now I think kids are all about, like, Coco Frozen.
《冰雪奇缘》《海洋奇缘》都挺棒的。
Frozen, Moana, which are great.
但当我播放歌单时，我简直惊呆了：这他妈是什么东西？
But, like, we when I turned on the playlist, I'm like, what the hell is this shit?
所以我有点担心这会是那种‘觉醒’风格的迪士尼，你知道的，新潮那一套。
Like so I was a little worried it was gonna be like woke Disney, you know, like new age.
不是。
No.
迪士尼的某些东西确实经久不衰。
It was very much some things about Disney, like, are timeless.
米老鼠。
Mickey.
对。
Yeah.
你懂的？
You know?
经典作品。
The classics.
那就是其中一个美妙之处。
There's one of the beauties.
有一部《寻梦环游记》。
There was a Coco.
我还没看过《寻梦环游记》。
I had not seen Coco.
是的。
Yeah.
但《寻梦环游记》真的很惊艳。
But it was pretty dazzling, the Coco.
我也没看过。
I I didn't see it either.
记住我。
Remember me.
记得那首歌。
Remember the song.
我记得，也许吧。
Ricuerdo, maybe.
我记得。
Ricuerdo.
我记得那件事。
I remember that.
我记得。
Ricuerdo.
哎。
Yo.
哎，我记得。
Yo, Ricuerdo.
所以。
So
我没看后半部分，但真的太棒了。
I didn't see the second half, but it was really amazing.
真有点疯狂，这些居然是专业的花样滑冰运动员。
It's kinda crazy that, like, these people, like, are professional figure skaters.
他们怎么不去参加你知道的那些比赛呢？
Like, why aren't they at the You know?
我第一次去迪士尼的时候，其实并不在意那些东西。
When I saw Disneyland, saw the first time I know you weren't interested in what wasn't.
迪士尼，是的。
Disney Yeah.
但我的想法是，这些人到底是谁？
But my takeaway is, like, who are these people?
他们是从哪里来的？
Where did they come from?
所以让我想到了马戏团。
That's why felt about the circus.
他们的背景是什么？
What's their background?
因为他们是出色的花样滑冰运动员。
Because they're amazing figure skaters.
嗯哼。
Mhmm.
虽然还不够好去参加奥运会，但他们是在巡演的花样滑冰演员。
Not good enough to go to the Olympics, but, like, they're touring figure skaters.
那么，是什么样的经历让他们来到了迪士尼冰上表演呢？
And it's like, what path brought them to Disney on ice?
很可能是走的奥运路线。
Probably, like, the Olympic path.
对。
Right.
所以，如果你没有
So it's like, if you don't
那本可能是西蒙·拜尔斯。
That could have been Simone Biles.
你知道吧？
You know?
如果你作为花样滑冰运动员没能进入奥运会，很多人都是训练了奥运会但没入选的。
If you don't hit the Olympics as a figure skater a lot of people train for Olympics and don't make it.
所以呢，
So there's
你要么干脆放弃，去上学。
You either, like, just give it up completely and, like, go to school.
或者你
Or you
去参加迪士尼冰上表演，或者类似冰上嘉年华的演出。
do Disney on Ice or maybe, like, ice capades.
对。
Right.
确实有几个职业花样滑冰运动员，他们不是奥运选手。
There are a couple of, like, professional figure skaters, yes, who aren't Olympians.
我对马戏团就是这种感觉。
That's how I felt about the circus.
现在，马戏团里那些特质有点更怪异了。
Now the traits that you have at the circus are a little bit like more freaky.
我觉得，像空中飞人这类职业的机会变少了。
Like, I think there are less opportunities for trapezists and things of that nature.
而且我觉得，如果你要从事一项活动的话
And I I think like if you're gonna an activity
体操运动员，有很多方式可以进入马戏团。
gymnast, there's a lot of like different ways you can make to the circus.
但如果你不能，比如，当自行车手的话。
But if you can't Like, you're cycler.
如果你不能滑冰，那就滑不了。
If can't skate, you can't skate.
没错。
No.
这真的非常令人印象深刻。
It was it was really impressive.
你知道，我觉得迪士尼出品的任何东西都不是那种……不，不是那样的。
You know, I don't think Disney puts out anything that's like not No.
顶级的。
Top tier.
所以当时情况是，Ruby年纪太小了，我们其实没必要去。
So it was a and I Ruby was like a little young for it, so we didn't really need to be there.
回家的路上我差点笑死。
And I was seriously dying living on the way home.
她说，Griffin很喜欢，因为Ben在这里。
She was saying Griffin was loving it because Ben was here.
我说，他提到你们怎么提前走了。
I was like, he was saying how you guys left early.
我说是的，Ruby有点不舒服，不太感兴趣。
I was like, yeah, Ruby was like, you know, not feeling it a little fussy.
他说，科舍尔也不太感兴趣。
He was like, kosher's was not feeling it.
露比本可以再待三十分钟，但我实在受不了了。
Ruby could have stayed for like thirty more minutes, but I was not okay.
是的。
Yeah.
然后贾斯汀·汀布莱克的视频出来了，这对我来说显然非常感人，嗯。
And then Justin Timberlake's video came out, which was obviously, like, deeply moving for me Mhmm.
这个我会留到第一个故事再说。
Which I'll save for the first story.
然后是《秘密生活》和《摩门妻子》的后续。
And then the continuation of the Secret Lives and Mormon Wives.
本对索拉诺有什么看法？
What did Ben have to say about, like, Solano?
他支持哪一队？
Whose team is he on?
他有很极端的观点吗？
Does he have hard takes?
我们刚才说了什么？
What did we say?
天啊。
Oh my gosh.
我们在聊我和马修斯一家之间的那些闹剧。
We were talking about the drama with me and the Matthews family.
哦，我看了那个片段。
Oh, I saw the clip.
天哪。
Oh my god.
笑得我快不行了。
Laughing so fucking hard.
我简直不敢相信这种事会发生在我身上。
I can't believe that happened to me.
我是认真的。
Like, seriously.
但我要说，
But I will say What
我提到他们的时候，他们正好听到，这概率有多大？
are the odds that I spoke about them when they heard
真的吗？
it?
我很感谢很多在评论区指出这一点的人，经常会有视频片段走红，而片段中的当事人会在播客下留言，但播客通常都会躲起来。
I appreciated a lot of people pointing this out in the comments that like a lot of times clips will go viral and like the person who's the subject of the clip will like comment at the podcaster and the podcaster like always like curls up.
我是无心的。
Like, I didn't mean it.
我那天心情不好。
I was having a bad day.
你懂的？
You know?
你确实坚持了自己的立场。
You very much stood your ground.
因为我们在节目中说的都是真心话，除非第二天我突然改变主意了。
Like, because we don't say things on the show that we really don't mean unless like the next day I'm like, actually, changed my mind.
所以我尊重你没有说：‘很遗憾她看到了，但她既然公之于众，就该接受大家讨论。’
So I respect you not being like, well, it's unfortunate that she saw it, but she did put it out there for the world to like discuss.
去
To
讨论她的婚姻。
like, talk about her marriage.
不过我说的是，有时候人们放出片段后，会说：‘你不懂。’
What I was saying, though, is, like, sometimes people put out clips, and they're like, oh, you don't understand.
你没有上下文。
You don't have context.
但问题是，你既然放出来，就没给上下文。
Well, it's like, you put it out without context.
对。
Right.
而我正是这样做的，所以我愿意为此负责，因为如果你不看这个节目，单听别人说我是‘本周的窝囊废’，听起来确实很糟糕。
And that is sort of what I did so I can take ownership for that because, like, if you don't follow the show, like, just hearing someone's my weenie of the week sounds like really nasty.
但其实这是一种赞美。
But it's actually a compliment.
只是有点轻微的贬义。
It's only mildly nasty.
是的。
Yeah.
有人在评论里指出，实际上你很喜欢当‘窝囊废’，这比起真正坏的人来说简直是小巫见大巫。
And someone pointed out in the comments, like you actually like being the weenie is really like a lesser evil compared to like actual bad people.
我不觉得这有多严重。
Like, I don't think that terribly.
当然。
Of course.
这仅仅是一种类似退奶般的行为。
It's just weaning like behavior.
所以，但你知道吗？
So And But you know what?
然后我看到有人评论说，很高兴你发了这条。
Then I saw people commenting like, no, I'm glad you posted.
我就是通过这个发现你们的。
That's how I found you guys.
你们太搞笑了。
You guys are hysterical.
那么，这实际上就是那个更进一步话题的基础。
Well, so And this is actually the basis of the more.
我大约一两周前提到过的那篇文章，虽然我没读，但想引用一下，讲的是讨厌自己丈夫的女性。
The article that I was talking about like a week or two ago that like I didn't read, but wanted to reference, which was, like, women who hate their husbands.
这正是互联网上经常发生的情况：有人会说，我丈夫做了最疯狂的事。
And so it's like a this is the exact type of situation where this happens all the time on the Internet where someone would be like, my husband did the craziest thing.
而且你丈夫做的那件事简直太恶劣了。
And it's like, actually, your husband did is so evil.
评论区都在说，离婚吧，下个视频就跟他分手。
And And the comments are, like, divorce and break up with him in the next video.
你们根本不懂。
Was like, you guys don't understand.
别老是把那些东西发出来让我们评论，然后又对评论生气。
It's like, well, stop putting shit out there for us to comment on and then being mad at the comments.
你现在已经分享了你们婚姻中如此私密的部分。
Like, you have now shared this deeply intimate part of your marriage.
我们之所以发表看法，是因为你把它发到了电视节目和TikTok上。
We are giving our takes on it because you put it on a TV show and on TikTok.
所以，如果你不喜欢，那就别发出来好了。
And so it's like, if you don't like it, well, don't put it out there.
你明白吗？
You know?
所以就是这样一件事。
So it's like that shit.
那整篇文章就是这么说的。
That was like the whole article.
就像把婚姻或丈夫最糟糕的部分公之于众，然后别人说你应该离开他时你又生气。
It's like sharing like the worst parts of your marriage or your husband and then being mad when people like say you should leave him.
他真差劲。
He sucks.
是的。
Yeah.
或者不理解为什么你会被跟这个人联系在一起。
Or like not understanding why you're then associated with this person.
对。
Right.
这就像，为什么要把这个问题变成我们的责任？
It's like, why are making this our problem?
不。
No.
而且，我们只是电视剧回顾生态的一部分。
And like, we're just part of the ecosystem of TV recaps.
就像所有作品都站在彼此的肩膀上。
Like, all exist stand on each other's shoulders.
我们互相扶持。
Like we lift each other up.
我其实并不是在谈你的节目。
That's know really I'm I'm like talking about your show.
我根本停不下来地谈论它。
I can't stop fucking talking about it.
我想让每个人都去看。
Like, I want everybody to watch it.
如果你关心你的节目的成功，这是一件好事。
That is a good thing if you are interested in the success of your show.
对。
Correct.
所以潮水上涨，所有船只都会被抬高。
So rising tides, rise all sides.
我们都很投缘。
We're all simpatico
在这儿。
here.
我觉得我们只是在浪费时间。
I feel like we're just sort of diddly dallying.
想进商店吗？
Wanna get into stores?
哦，还有件事我需要讨论，我
Oh, there's something else I need to discuss that I
你的衬衫？
Your shirt?
不。
No.
为什么？
Why?
因为你今天穿了一件特定类型的衬衫。
Because you're wearing a specific type of shirt today.
杰西？
Jesse?
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
不。
No.
你今天穿这件特定的衬衫是有特定原因的吗？
You're wearing a specific type of shirt for a specific reason?
我穿这件薄荷绿和白色的扣领衬衫，是因为克劳迪娅以为我穿它是因为我的色系。
I'm wearing a button down mint green and white shirt because Claudia thinks I'm wearing it because of my colors.
是的。
Yes.
你们讨论过这个吗？
Did you talk about that?
没有。
No.
你穿的是你的色系，但不是的。
And you're wearing your colors, but no.
我其实是在色系确定之前就买了这件衬衫，它一直放在我的椅子上，今天早上我太匆忙了。
I actually I got this shirt before the colors, and it's just been like I just got it, and it's been sitting on my chair, I was in such a rush this morning.
我心想，天哪。
I'm like, my gosh.
我穿着
I'm wearing
所以周五我们请了一位色彩分析师来演播室，那叫什么来着？
that So on Friday we had a color analyst come to the studio and do what's it called?
就是色彩分析。
Like a color analysis.
哦，就是做色彩搭配。
Oh, getting your colors done.
我们做了色彩分析。
We got our colors done.
多年来一直有人建议我们去做。
People have told us for years to do it.
据说这能影响你用的化妆品、穿的衣服，基本上就是整体上让你的脸看起来更协调。
Apparently it can like make a difference in what makeup you wear, what clothes you wear, just basically how your face looks overall.
这非常有启发性。
It was very insightful.
我是明亮的春季型。
I am a bright spring.
我是温暖的柔和秋季型。
I'm a warm a soft autumn.
我以为你也是春季型。
I thought you were also a spring.
不是。
No.
结果我是秋季型。
I wound up being autumn.
你确定吗？
You sure?
柔和的。
Soft.
好的。
Okay.
看起来我原本倾向于春季型，但后来人们也发表了评论。
It looks like I was trending towards spring, but then also people were commenting
我们没让她做自己。
that, like, we didn't let her do her.
我知道有人说，你们两个女生一直说个不停。
I know people said like, you girls didn't shut up.
我们当时就想听她说，
Like we wanted to hear that now,
但我以为她是在邀请我们参与。
but I thought she was like inviting us.
我好几次都觉得，我们该闭嘴了。
I felt like multiple times I was like, we need to shut up.
是的。
Yeah.
你在说什么？
What are you saying?
而且我觉得在
And I feel like at the
最后，她其实是同意她的分析的。
end, like she agreed with her analysis.
对吧？
Right?
我不认为，对，我不认为这是错的。
I don't think, yeah, I don't think wrong one.
我们只是闲聊而已，抱歉，我们在录播客。
We were just being chatty, like, sorry, we were doing a podcast.
得填满时间。
Had to fill the time.
对吧。
Right.
所以，自从你发现你的……你有没有觉得自己做了什么不同的改变？
So do you feel like you did, did you, have you done anything differently since you found out your
嗯，我有留意，但你也看到了，在播客里，她没有我那份确切的册子。
Well, kept it in mind, but also as you saw in the podcast, she didn't have the exact booklet for mine.
她正在给我寄过来。
She's mailing it to me.
所以我正在等我的那份确切册子。
So I'm like waiting for my exact booklet.
我换了腮红。
I did change my blush.
如果你感觉到区别，告诉我一声。
Like, let me know if you feel the difference.
你戴的是春季色系吗？
And you're wearing your color, spring?
我戴的是明亮的春季色系。
I am wearing, like, a bright spring color.
是的。
Yeah.
尽管这其实并不是
Even though this is, not really
我还想提一下我总是忘记说的事，就是我们的小妹妹玛戈。
The other thing that I wanted to mention that I keep forgetting to mention is our little sister, Margo.
哦，对。
Oh, yeah.
我们来聊聊我们的小妹妹吧。
Let's talk about our little sister.
这个周末发生过的最奇怪的事。
Thing ever this weekend.
周五的时候，我没意识到到底发生了什么。
And on Friday, I didn't, like, realize, like, what was happening.
我要么
I either
她没当回事。
she wasn't making a big deal.
就像，她她
Like, her she
她说她要去拉斯维加斯。
said she was going to Vegas.
不。
No.
她告诉我这很重要，但亲眼看到现场时，简直太棒了。
She told me it was a big deal, but, like, seeing it in action was, like, so sick.
玛格丽特被聘为卢克·霍姆斯粉丝俱乐部的官方记者，真的去了他在拉斯维加斯的首周末，采访卢克，和卢克一起制作内容。
Margaret was hired as, like, the official correspondent for the Luke Holmes fan club and, like, literally got to go to his opening weekend in Vegas, like, interview Luke, make content with Luke.
她到了现场。
She got to the show.
周五晚上举行的专辑粉丝聆听会。
Fan listening party for the album on Friday night.
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她去参加了彩排，她说这是最酷的事情
She got to go to the rehearsal, which she said was the coolest thing
她这辈子能经历的。
she could ever get like.
一种你可以去参加的事情。
Something you could go to.
所以她独自一人观看了卢克·霍尔姆斯的演唱会
So she experienced a Luke Holmes concert alone
在体育场里。
At the stadium.
和她最好的朋友们一起在体育场。
Stadium with her best friends.
和她最好的朋友们，还有卢克·霍尔姆斯的十名工作人员。
With her best friends and, like, the 10 people who work for Luke Holmes.
简直疯狂，体育场里空无一人。
Like, it was insane, like, in an empty stadium.
然后她去了首演之夜，获得了完全的通行权限。
Then she went to opening night and had, like, full access.
她简直就在
She's literally in the
四处跑动。
Running around.
是的。
Yeah.
对。
Right.
拍照。
Take pictures.
而且
And
我为她感到无比自豪。
I'm just so proud of her.
那就是我们的姐妹，她真的在音乐行业工作。
That's our con that's, like, literally our sister who works in music.
就是我们的小妹妹，你们知道的。
Like, that's our little sister, you guys.
没那么小了。
Not so little.
我们的小妹妹。
Our little sister.
她可能会说：你们在播客里说我胖了吗？
She's gonna be like, did you call me fat on the podcast?
没有。
No.
她不是那个小的吗？
Was she not the little?
还记得我们告诉艾玛·钱伯兰，我们小妹妹是她的粉丝那次吗？
Remember the time we told Emma Chamberlain our little sister was a big fan?
她就说，这得把婴儿床搬进房间里。
She was like, this bring, like, a bassinet in the room.
是的。
Yeah.
一个成年女性在看。
This grown woman watching.
哦，那是你妹妹？
Oh, that's your little sister?
她比以前都大了。
She's older than ever.
我们说，我们妹妹特别喜欢你。
We're like, our little sister loves you so much.
她就说，哦，真想在节目结束后见见她。
And she was like, oh, I'd love to meet her after the episode.
然后我们就把她拉进了视频通话。
And we, like, brought her into the Zoom.
我觉得她以为会是个12岁的孩子。
I think she was expecting, like, a 12 year old.
是的。
Yeah.
结果进来的是个25岁的成年女性。
In comes this 25 year old Grown woman.
天哪。
Bitch.
简直疯狂。
Like, it was insane.
我们太搞笑了。
We're hilarious.
这个节目的背景故事，真的永远讲不完。
The lore of the show, like, seriously never ends.
没错。
No.
确实不会。
It doesn't.
我其实一直在想，我们可以在Patreon上做一份最新的背景故事整理。
I was actually thinking on the Patreon we should do, like, an up to date lore.
一份泰勒？
A taylor?
因为自从迈克ala·马修斯给我们留下一条仇恨评论以来，
Because ever you know, ever since Michaela Matthews, you know, left us a hate comment.
我们有了很多新听众，他们可能不知道我们所有搞笑内部梗的来龙去脉。
We have so many new listeners who maybe don't know the backstory of, like, all of our funny inside jokes and stuff.
是的。
Yeah.
这真该激励我们多发一些充满仇恨的短视频。
It really should motivate us to, like, post more hateful reels.
哦，别了。
Oh, no.
我永远不会涉足仇恨的领域。
I will never get into the business of hate.
但那根本不算仇恨。
But That wasn't even hateful.
那很有趣。
It was funny.
不。
No.
你知道吗？
You know?
但你知道吗？
But you know?
而且我
And I
你知道，充满仇恨。
You know, hateful.
像电车。
Like trolley.
电车。
Trolley.
而且我永远不会变成那样。
And like And I will never be that.
很热门的观点。
Hot takey.
但不行。
But no.
你得熬过一个多小时的这个节目，才能看到最精彩的部分。
You have to suffer through an hour plus of this show to get the best.
我们，我。
We me.
是的。
Yeah.
那不是。
That's no.
但是，如果你真的想有独到见解，或者你不是那种人，你就得付出努力。
But, like, if you or are, like, seriously hot takes or are not like, you have to put in the work.
是的。
Yeah.
你不可能免费得到它。
You don't just get it for free.
没错。
It's true.
或者你可以通过 Patreon 付费支持。
Or you could pay for it at patreon.
当然。
For sure.
但是，不行。
But, no.
你必须花足时间。
You've gotta clock the hours.
那么，你想要批评谁吗？
So anyone you wanna say anything nasty about?
贾斯汀·汀布莱克？
Justin Timberlake?
闲话少说，以下是你们必须了解的五大快讯。
Without further ado, here are the fast five stories that you do need to know.
这些你必须了解的五大快讯由百事益生元可乐赞助。
And the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Pepsi Prebiotic Cola.
现在推出两种口味：经典可乐和樱桃香草味。
Now coming in two flavors, original Cola and Cherry Vanilla.
它保留了百事经典的美味口感，现在更添惊喜：不含人工甜味剂，仅含五克糖、30卡路里和三克益生元纤维。
So it's got your classic great Pepsi taste, but now with even more to love, it has no artificial sweeteners, only five grams of sugar, just 30 calories and three grams of prebiotic fiber.
百事公司一直在不断创新其新产品。
So Pepsi is constantly innovating their new product.
Pepsi益生元可乐很好喝。
Pepsi Prebiotic Cola is delicious.
知道吗，关于我有个有趣的事，人们觉得我在撒谎，但我真的没撒谎。
Know, fun fact about me, and people think I'm lying when I say this, but I'm not.
说实话，多年来我明显更喜欢百事可乐，胜过其他任何饮料。
Like, I have decidedly enjoyed Pepsi more than any other beverage for years now.
我只是觉得，我选饮料就看口味。
I just like, I go with taste.
我觉得很多人被标签困住了。
I think a lot of people get bogged down by labels.
这到底意味着什么？
Like, what does this mean?
这说明了我什么？
What does this say about me?
对我来说，一直都是口味最重要。
For me, it's always been about taste.
几年前我意识到，我觉得百事可乐是最好喝的可乐。
And I realized a few years ago, like, I think Pepsi is the best tasting cola.
所以我喝百事可乐。
So I drink Pepsi.
现在他们推出了一款新产品，味道太棒了。
Now they have a new product and it's so delicious.
这是一款益生元可乐，有两种口味：经典可乐和樱桃香草味。
So it's a prebiotic cola, comes in two different flavors, original cola and cherry vanilla.
樱桃香草味太棒了。
Cherry vanilla is so Ben.
本超爱樱桃香草味汽水，他特别喜欢百事的这款。
Ben loves cherry vanilla like soda, he loves the Pepsi one.
我更偏向经典款。
I'm much more original.
它有一种非常经典的气质，我认为自己是经典美人，所以这很合理。
There's something just very classic about it, I believe I'm a classic beauty, so that makes sense.
现在就能买到。
It's available now.
你一定要试试。
You should definitely check it out.
它只有30卡路里，5克糖，当然还有那些优质的益生元纤维。
It has just 30 calories, five grams of sugar, and of course those great prebiotic fibers.
它含有3克。
It's got three grams.
它也没有任何人工甜味剂，喝起来就是纯粹的百事可乐口感，但多了更多值得喜爱的成分。
It also has no artificial sweeteners, it really just tastes like Pepsi, but with so much more to love.
我试过了。
I've tried it.
我真的挺喜欢的。
I really do like it.
这是百事益生元可乐。
It's a Pepsi Prebiotic Cola.
再来，口味有樱桃香草，非常苯佐佛涂层。
Again, flavors, Cherry vanilla, very Benzoffer coated.
橙味可乐，非常图迪，卢·弗里布什，奥什里软涂层。
Orange Cola, very Turdy, Lou Freebush, Oshry soft coated.
如果你还没买过，试着买一些试试。
Try to pick some up if you haven't already.
非常适合小型聚会，加点冰块，配上这根漂亮的金属吸管。
Perfect for a little get together, a little port out over ice with this nice metal straw.
好好享受吧。
Enjoy it.
你知道吗？
You know?
别匆匆掠过生活中那些美好的事物。
Don't rush through the beauty thing the beautiful things in life.
来杯图迪牌百事可乐吧。
Have a nice Pepsi on Turdy.
今天去看看吧。
Check it out today.
如果你还没买的话，现在就可以得到了。
If you haven't already available now.
今天的节目由Wetter Spoon赞助。
Today's episode is also brought to you by Wetter Spoon.
时机正好。
Perfect timing.
你们很多人可能听说过麦卢卡蜂蜜。
A lot of you have probably heard of Manuka Honey.
你要是追《与卡戴珊姐妹同行》或者关注健康养生，就会发现它已经火了很多年了，但一直很难买到。
You watch keeping up with the Kardashians or you're just like into wellness, it's been like a very trendy wellness thing for many years, but it's been very hard to like find.
它不是你在超市里买到的那种普通蜂蜜。
It's not just regular honey that you get at the grocery store.
它富含营养。
It's very nutrient dense.
它真的非常有益健康。
It's really, really good for you.
Wetter Spoon 是美国销量第一的麦卢卡蜂蜜品牌。
And Wetter Spoon is the number one selling manuka honey in The US.
一旦你试过，就会明白为什么。
Once you try it, you'll know why.
如果你一直想找麦卢卡蜂蜜却不知道如何购买，除了自己制作之外，Wetter Spoon 让它变得非常容易获取，而且有多种不同产品形式。
Manuka honey, if you've ever been looking for it and you don't know how to get it outside of making it yourself, Wetter Spoon is making it really accessible and it comes in a ton of different products.
当然，还有纯蜂蜜，你可以把它加到酸奶里，或者泡茶时使用。
Obviously the actual honey, which you can put into your yogurt, put into tea.
我生病时喜欢直接用勺子挖一勺吃。
I like to just put it on a spoon when I'm sick and take spoonfuls of it.
它真的能缓解我的喉咙不适。
It really helps my throat.
他们还推出了其他创新产品，比如蜂蜜糖和蜂蜜滴剂。
They also made different innovative products like lollipops, honey drops.
他们独家从新西兰采购麦卢卡蜂蜜。
They source their manuka honey exclusively from New Zealand.
它含有天然存在的健康益处，源自一种名为MGO的化合物。
It has naturally occurring wellness benefits from the compound called MGO.
将它加入日常作息非常简单。
It's a very easy thing to add into your daily routine.
如果你像杰基一样有春季鼻塞，或者家里感染了什么可怕的病毒——这可是超级有趣、轻松、温和的方式，帮你感觉好起来。
If you have like the spring sniffles like Jackie does, or you've come down with whatever like demonic virus has run through our family, super fun, easy, light way to get yourself feeling better.
它的质地非常浓稠、顺滑且呈金黄色。
The texture is very thick, creamy, and golden.
它是非转基因的。
It's non GMO.
它不含抗生素和草甘膦。
It's free of antibiotics and glyphosates.
你可以放心地给孩子每勺都使用。
You can feel good about every spoon, giving it to your kids.
这款蜂蜜真的很棒。
It's really great.
现在就前往wetterspoon.com，亲身体验这份来自新西兰的阳光馈赠吧，结账时使用优惠码toast20即可享受订单八折优惠；你也可以在全美的全食超市和亚马逊上购买。
Get your own taste of New Zealand sunshine today by visiting wetterspoon.com and use our code toast20 at checkout for 20% off your order or shop nationwide at Whole Foods Market and Amazon.
网址是Wetter Spoon的官网w-edder-spoon.com，我再拼一遍：w-e-d-d-e-r-s-p-o-o-n.com。
That's Wetter Spoon, w edder, spoon.com.
购买Wetter Spoon的麦卢卡蜂蜜，使用优惠码toast20即可享受订单八折优惠。
Use our code toast 20 for 20% off your order of manuka honey from Wetter Spoon.
今天这期节目的赞助商还有Bollin Branch。
Today's episode is also brought to you by Bollin Branch.
你知道的，我们和Bollin Branch合作这么多年，都已经忘了和他们合作之前是什么样的日子了。
You know, we've been Bowling Branch partners for so many years that have actually forgotten about life before Bowling Branch.
要是聊到某些品类，大家绝对可以相信我和杰基在这方面是行家。
When it comes to certain categories, like you can trust Jackie and I to be experts on them.
如果要选床品这类家居寝具，选他们家就对了。
And when it comes to bedding and like things for the bed, look no further.
Bowling Branch 的标志性床品，自从我们开始这个播客以来，我家可能就一直在用。
Bowling Branch signature bedding is something I've had in my home probably since we started this podcast.
差不多有八九年了。
Like almost eight or nine years.
我实在记不清了。
I can never remember.
无论是标志性的床单套装，还是华夫毯，我从 Bowling Branch 买的所有东西都特别耐穿。
The signature sheet set, the waffle blanket, everything I get from Bohlen Branch wears really well.
我已经用了同样的床单很多年了。
I've had the same sheets for like many, many years.
每次洗涤后，它们都会变得更柔软。
They get softer with every wash.
还有像华夫毯这样更注重美感的东西。
And then like the more aesthetic things like the waffle blanket.
我超爱，天啊，这曾是 Theo 最爱的毯子。
I love oh my God, used be Theo's favorite blanket.
你简直只会睡在纯棉床品上。
Like you literally would sleep on nothing but rip.
它深受数百万睡眠者的喜爱。
It's loved by millions of sleepers.
它由工匠用最优质的100%有机棉织造，工艺精湛。
It's woven by artisans with the finest 100% organic cotton and the highest level of craftsmanship.
它专为透气睡眠设计，让你可以多加被褥而不让床变得沉重或闷热。
It's designed for breathable sleep, so you can add more layers without making your bed feel heavy or hot.
它越洗越柔软蓬松，而且设计上也支持混搭组合。
It's made to get softer and loftier with every wash, and they're also designed to mix and match.
它提供了超过300种配色方案。
They have over 300 color combinations.
我很多年都用白色。
I had white for many, many years.
然后有一天，我想：要是换成米白色会怎么样？
And then one day I was like, what if I did off white?
这简直改变了所有一切。
And it kind of changed everything.
从白色换成米白色，确实是一种成熟的表现。
Like going from white to off white is true, like maturation.
你有这种感觉吗？
You feel that?
嗯。
Mhmm.
我选的颜色应该是自然色或者沙色，类似的那种。
I think the color I got was like natural or sand, one of those.
你第一次睡在Mola品牌的床单上，就会看到明显的差别。
Your first night sleeping in Mola Brand sheets, like you'll see the difference.
你会感受到明显的差别。
You'll feel the difference.
它如此受欢迎，你会明白为什么，而且你可以用三十天无顾虑试用期来亲自体验。
It's so beloved, you'll understand why, and it's yours to try with a thirty night worry free guarantee.
所以在Boland Branch发现超越你想象的柔软体验。
So discover softness beyond your wildest dreams at Boland Branch.
在bolandbranch.com/toast购买第一套床单立减15元，包邮且支持免费退换。
Get 15 off your first set of sheets plus free shipping and returns at bolandbranch.com/toast.
访问bollandbranch.com/toast，即可享受15%折扣。
That's bollandbranch.com/toast to take 15% off.
部分商品不参与活动。
Exclusions apply.
我会不会说，Boland Branch可能是我朋友发消息问得最多的赞助商，他们总问我：Boland Branch的优惠码是多少？
Will I say Boland Branch is probably the number one sponsor that I get text messages about from my friends being like, what was the code for Boland Branch?
这是Turdy的朋友最常使用的品牌。
It's most used by friends of Turdy.
所以你觉得可以叫它‘Turdy和Branch’吗？
So you think you could call it Turdy and Branch?
我不知道Boland Branch的法务团队会不会很喜欢这个叫法。
I don't know if the legal team over at Boland Branch would like that very much.
好吧，谢谢你，图迪和分支。
Well, thank you, Turdy and Branch.
欢迎，杰瑞德和分支。
Welcome, Jared and branch.
听起来像有人和
Sounds like someone went
一起上过高中。
to high school with.
分支？
Branch?
不，听起来像一个混蛋，混蛋和分支。
No, it sounds like like a jerk, jerk and branch.
他们都是混蛋。
They were all jer.
是的。
Yeah.
哦，你有没有
Oh, did
看过蒂娜·菲主持《周六夜现场》英国版的首期节目？
you see Tina Fey hosted the first inaugural episode of SNL UK?
好吧。
Okay.
我是说，我从来没认真想过，因为我超爱蒂娜·菲，他们说她很可能是接替劳伦·米歇尔的人选，这似乎是个信号。
Like, I crazy never because it was like I love Tina Fey, and they say she's, like, prized to take over for Lauren Michaels when and this is, like, sort of a signal of that.
她想要那份工作吗？
Did she want that job?
我不知道。
I don't know.
但我认为她会做得非常出色。
But I think she would be great at it.
而且会做很多工作。
And would a lot work.
这也会成为一个自我实现的预言，莉兹·莱蒙，就像她真的变成了莉兹·莱蒙。
It would also be, like, a self fulfilling prophecy, Liz Lemon, like, becoming Liz Lemon.
而且我觉得，SNL确实需要点什么。
And I do think, like, SNL desperately needs, like, a something.
我觉得虽然劳伦做了出色的工作，但也许他根本没跟上时代所需的东西。
And I think while Lauren has done amazing work, like, maybe he's just not in tune with, like, what's necessary.
他们说，她主持《SNL英国版》是朝这个方向迈出的重要一步。
And they say that, like, her hosting SNL UK is, like, a big step in that direction.
太糟糕了。
It was so bad.
而且我真的很喜欢蒂娜·菲。
Like, and I love Tina Fey.
我觉得她其实很搞笑。
I think she's actually funny.
简直太老套了。
It was so like it was so corny.
嗯，我不确定。
Like, I don't know.
这件事有点奇怪。
There's something so weird about it.
我不认为劳伦不了解什么是必要的。
I don't think that Lauren is not in tune with what's necessary.
我认为他知道人们想要什么，但他只是想做自己想做的事。
I think he knows, like, what people would want, and he just wants to do what he wants.
我觉得他并不是试图赢回观众。
I I don't think he, like, tries to win back an audience.
我觉得他就是想推出自己想做的节目。
I think he's like, this is the show I wanna put out.
我觉得最近，当他们请来那些年轻人，比如那些男孩时，他们是在为年轻一代选角。
I feel like actually, like, recently, they When they had those boys people like, they cast people for, a younger generation The boys.
这三个男孩传递出某种东西。
The the three boys project something.
他们负责制作小品。
They, like, make the skits.
是的。
Yeah.
然后，他们选了这个在TikTok上很火的女孩简。
Then, like, they they cast, like, this girl Jane who was, like, very big on TikTok.
我确实觉得他们有点偏向某种风格，但他们太杂乱无章了，我觉得他们也不知道谁在看他们的节目。
Like, I do feel like they lean in a little bit to, like but it's just that they're so all over the place, and I don't think they know who's, like, watching their show.
我不知道谁在看他们的节目。
I don't know who's watching their show.
我觉得蒂娜·菲真的能带来一些改变，但我不确定。
And I do think, like, Tina Fey really could bring but I don't know.
我看过那个SNL英国版的片段，那个太
The SNL UK that I saw, like, the clip was so
天哪。
Yikes.
是的。
Yeah.
很糟糕。
It was bad.
我真的超喜欢蒂娜·菲。
And I, like, I seriously love Tina Fey.
天啊。
Damn.
我们的第一个话题是‘图迪的见解’。
Well, our first story is Turdy's Takes.
好的。
Okay.
因为昨天发生了一些事，我们需要听听你的看法。
Because a couple things happened yesterday, we need to know your thoughts.
首先，贾斯汀·比伯的酒驾视频在经过长时间之后终于发布了
So first, the Justin Bieber DUI video came out after much
我个人
personal I
昨天也这么说过。
said that yesterday too.
好的。
Okay.
他要起诉我。
And he's gonna sue me.
他应该的。
And he should.
他要起诉我。
He's gonna sue me.
好的。
Okay.
贾斯汀·汀布莱克。
Justin Timberlake.
是的
Yeah.
酒驾
DUI.
我昨天也在我的Instagram故事里说过。
I said that on my Instagram story too.
是的
Yeah.
汀巴莱克，酒驾视频。
Timberlake, DUI video.
他不希望这个视频公开。
He didn't want it out.
现在已经公开了。
It's out.
你觉得怎么样
What'd you think
你觉得呢？
of it?
所以我坚持我之前的说法，他不应该把这件事闹得这么大，除非他真的在公众场合掏出阴茎，否则能有多糟？
So I stand by what I said that he shouldn't have made it such a big deal because barring, like, him whipping his penis out, like, what could have been so bad?
我以为我说过他光着身子在节目里跑来跑去。
I thought I said that he was running naked through the show.
是的。
Yeah.
就像他们当时的行为方式，现在引起了我们所有人的注意。
Like, the way that they were being and now it alerted us all.
如果他没有这么做，我可能根本不会去留意。
It was I don't know if I would have been looking for it if he hadn't.
也许我本来会在我的工作邮箱里看到它。
And maybe I would have seen it come across my desk.
其实那也没那么离谱，我本来可能根本就不会在意。
It wasn't that crazy that, like, I actually would have moved on.
我们顶多也就聊个一天这事就翻篇了，所以他真不该把事闹这么大，毕竟那个视频本来就不可能藏得住不流传出去。
We would have talked about it for one day and, like so he shouldn't have made it a big deal because there was no way that video wasn't making it out.
不过平心而论，我觉得就贾斯汀·汀布莱克现在的状况，我对他的印象只会往好了变，毕竟也不可能更糟了。
Although I will say kind of net net, I actually think the only place I can personally go up with Justin Timberlake the only place I can go with Justin Timberlake is up.
对。
Yeah.
而且我觉得那个视频还挺招人喜欢的。
And I thought the video was like kind of endearing.
你是说人性化的那种表现？
Like humanizing?
这不仅仅是人性化了，我觉得很多像瑞茜·威瑟斯彭这样的名人，要是做出这种事，就会显得很失礼。
Not only was it humanizing, I think a lot of people like Reese Witherspoon, like when you're a celebrity, you're very disrespectful.
毕竟其他人根本不了解你真实的为人。
Like, you don't know who I am.
生活里有好多类似的尴尬时刻。
There's so many awkward moments like that.
他非常谦逊，甚至无法解释自己做了什么。
He was extremely humble to the point where he couldn't even explain what he did.
他试图暗示：你知道我是谁吗，但又不直接说出来？
He was trying to be like, do you know who I am without saying it?
是的。
Yeah.
而且他最后
And he ended
显得相当谦逊。
up just coming off like kind of modest.
我不确定。
And I don't know.
他还开了个有趣的玩笑。
And he made that funny joke.
他当时说：‘白人？’
He was like, white?
我不知道。
I don't know.
我有点觉得
I kind of
实际上我觉得那个视频对他来说挺好的。
actually think the video was, like, good for him.
我觉得挺搞笑的。
I thought it was funny.
当他们把他关起来时，他说：我得在这儿过一夜。
And when they locked him up, he was like, I have to stay here all night.
我当时
I was
天啊，不会吧。
like, oh, no.
他根本就没意识到自己正在被
It was just like Literally never dawned on him that he was getting
一切都挺好玩的，直到他们把他关进去。
It was all fun and games until they put him in.
他当时说，我们明天早上来接你。
He was like, we'll come get you tomorrow morning.
他说，等等。
He was like, wait.
我得在这儿待一整
I have to spend the whole
晚，他真以为这事马上就会结束。
night entire time, like, he really thought this was about to be over.
是的。
Yeah.
即使当他意识到自己要整晚待在拘留所里时，他也没有生气。
And even when he realized, like, the realization that he was spending the night in the slammer, he didn't get angry.
他还说，你们真够疯狂的，老兄。
He goes, you guys are wild, man.
他喝得醉醺醺的。
Like, he was so drunk.
他显然是个很友善的醉鬼，这也是另一点。
Like, he's obviously a nice drunk, and that's the other thing.
当你喝醉了，又被逮捕，而且还是个名人，就像维诺·韦里塔斯那样。
Like, when you're drunk and then you're getting arrested and you're a celebrity, like Vino Veritas.
这简直就是让内心最糟糕、最邪恶的一面爆发的配方。
It is a recipe for, like, the worst, most evil side of you to come out.
他特别接地气，跟每个人握手。
And he was so down home shaking everybody's hands.
我不确定。
Like, I don't know.
我可能爱上他了。
I could I'm in love.
这算是一段挺让人受宠若惊的视频。
Like, it was a kind of a flattering video.
顺便说一下，他当时也醉得不行。
I By the way, all but also he was wasted.
我的看法是，也许他没那么醉，应该接受呼气酒精测试。
Oh, my takeaway was like, maybe he wasn't that drunk and he should have taken the breathalyzer.
哦，天哪。
Oh, no.
不。
No.
当你拒绝接受呼气酒精测试时，我十年前在TikTok上看过一个视频，印象特别深刻。
And when you deny your breathalyzer, which I did see a video on TikTok, like, ten years ago that stuck with me.
当你因酒驾被捕时，你必须同意进行现场清醒度测试。
Was like, when you get arrested for a DUI, you have to consent to those field sobriety tests.
但你可以拒绝。
And like, you can say no.
我觉得你应该拒绝，因为那样就等于直接证明了你酒后驾车。
And I think you should say no because then it's like literal proof that you were drunk driving.
除非你没喝醉。
Unless you weren't drunk.
哦，对。
Oh, right.
当然。
Sure.
吹走吧。
Blow away.
所以很明显，他很有经验，而且他知道。
So obviously, like, he was experienced and he knew.
他也看过那个TikTok视频。
He saw that TikTok video too.
他喝醉了。
He was wasted.
那个视频唯一没做好就是没提到开车
That that's the only thing the video didn't do well is like, drove not
你不仅酒驾，还直接喝到失忆了。
only did you drive drunk, you drove blackout.
我以为你还有机会戒酒的。
I thought there was a path to sobriety.
不过他确实有个还算不错的借口。
Although he did have like kind of a good excuse.
他当时说：‘抱歉。’
He was like, oh, sorry.
我当时只是跟着前面的朋友开，他们开得特别快。
I was like following my friends in front of me, like they were driving just like fast.
结果我根本跟不上他们。
And like, couldn't follow them.
好吧。
Like, okay.
如果是我的话，哦，明白了。
If that was me, like, oh, okay.
这说得通。
That makes sense.
再见。
Bye.
是的。
Yeah.
总的来说，这还不错。
All in all, that was pretty good.
我也这么觉得。
I thought so too.
我听到你这么说很惊讶，我以为我们在等你严厉的谴责呢。
I'm surprised to hear you you know, I thought we were waiting your great condemnation.
关于我，人们总想给我贴标签。
Well, the thing about me is people try to put me in a box.
对吧？
Right?
比如，我丈夫是同性恋吗？
Like, is my husband gay?
其实，不是。
It's like, no.
你懂的？
You know?
或者，是的。
Or yes.
对吧？
Right?
所以，当然，大家都拿贾斯汀·汀布莱克开玩笑。
And so, yeah, obviously, everyone's, like, making fun of Justin Timber.
我不太喜欢随大流。
Like, I don't like to, like, hop on the bandwagon.
我在大家之前就关注贾斯汀·汀布莱克了。
Was onto Justin Timber, before everyone else.
你知道的吧？
You know?
当有人问他做什么工作时，他却说他在巡演，这根本不是对问题的回答。
When he was asked what he did for a living, and he was like, I'm on a tour, which is not an answer to the question.
他没问：你巡演什么？
I he didn't say, what are you on?
他问的是：你做什么工作？
He said, what do you do?
是的。
Yeah.
他还说他在进行‘墙世界巡演’，好像这样就能说清楚了似的。
And he was like, I'm on a wall world tour, like, if that clarified it.
那人问：什么？
And the guy was like, what?
先生，您是做什么工作的？
What do you do, sir?
而且这根本不像他有什么辛苦的工作。
And it's just like it's not even like he has a hard job.
我们解释起来才难呢。
We have a hard job to explain.
我是个音乐人。
I'm a musician.
就像，我其实是个歌手。
Like, that's liter I'm a singer.
我是个表演者。
I'm a performer.
他脱离了现实，实际上他并不喜欢这样，他只把自己看作一个名人。
Removed from, like, reality that he actually doesn't like, he only sees himself as, like, a celebrity.
我不知道他该怎么描述自己。
I don't know how that he would like know how to describe.
我以为，这可能证明他当时真的喝醉了，因为你的工作其实根本没那么难描述。
I thought I think that was maybe like proof that he was actually really drunk because like what you do is really not hard to describe.
我是个歌手。
I'm a singer.
我觉得他当时很难受，一直在等那个人想明白。
I think he was having a hard time, like waiting for the guy to like to figure it out.
他是的。
He is.
是的。
Yeah.
但正如我们报道的，那位逮捕他的警官非常年轻，根本不知道贾斯汀·汀布莱克是谁。
But as we reported, like the arresting officer was really young and didn't know who Justin Timberlake was.
我想说说那位逮捕他的警官，因为视频里有两个警察。
I want to say something about the arresting officer because there were two cops in the video.
逮捕他的警官是那个红发的年轻人，一个初出茅庐的家伙，现在已经在警局小有名气了。
The arresting officer is the redhead, this like young hotshot, who's like now made a real name for himself at the force.
而另一个明显认出贾斯汀·汀布莱克的人。
And then this other guy who obviously knew who Justin Timberlake was.
我当时就觉得那个红发警察在看我。
And I did feel like the redheaded cop look at me.
我现在居然在为贾斯汀·汀布莱克辩护。
I'm like defending Justin Timberlake now.
因为他做错了。
Because he was wrong.
他本该进监狱，但那个红发警察确实是个死板的家伙。
He should've gone to prison, but the redheaded cop, like, definitely was like a real stickler.
另一个警察则显得很兴奋。
Like, the other cop was, like, excited.
他打算依法办事，但能和名人一起执法让他很兴奋。
He was gonna follow the law, but he was excited to be following the law with a celebrity.
另一个家伙则一副不屑一顾的样子。
The other guy was, like, too cool for school.
你懂的？
You know?
根本什么都不知道。
Like, knew nothing.
哦，你的意思是，根本没有给他任何特殊待遇，而他其实应该得到一点特殊对待。
Oh, you mean, like, wasn't giving him any special treatment, and he deserved, like, a little more special treatment.
不。
No.
我不觉得他
I don't think he
不该得到特殊待遇。
deserved special treatment.
我只是说，我觉得
I'm just saying, like, I think
他只是在尽职尽责
he just doing his job
一丝不苟。
to the letter.
我觉得，很多在那一刻认出名人的人，即使还得继续工作，可能也不会把他铐在墙上。
I think a lot of people who maybe would have recognized a celebrity in that moment but still had to do their job just, like, maybe wouldn't like cuffed him to the wall.
你知道吗？
You know?
他本来是要走到前台来道歉的。
He was gonna come to the desk like I'm sorry.
抱歉。
Sorry.
所以，我觉得那个红发警察在发现这个人是名人后，明显是想借机表现一番，我敢肯定另一个警察也知道这事。
So like, I do feel like the redheaded cop was definitely like looking to make once he figured out like that this person was famous, I'm sure the other cop was, do know this?
他 definitely 就是个讨厌明星的人。
And he's definitely, like, a star hater.
是的。
Yes.
是的。
Yes.
而且你知道，我觉得萨格港很多本地人确实抱有这样的心态。
And, you know, I think a lot of that's actually the mentality of a lot of locals in Sag Harbor.
这是一个被富人和名人渗透的小型海滨小镇，他们非常讨厌夏天来度假的人。
This is, a very small beach town that's been infiltrated by, like, wealthy people and celebrities, and they, like, hate summer people.
贾斯汀·汀布莱克简直就是典型的名人代表，他在这里可能有一栋价值两千万美元的房子，却与萨格港毫无关联。
And Justin Timberlake is sort of like the quintessential walking celebrity who just has, like, probably, like, a $20,000,000 house here and has no connection to Sag Harbor.
这可是个历史悠久的长岛渔村。
It's, like, this old historic Long Island fishing town.
他就是那种，你知道的，对吧？
He's like, you know you know?
所以我能理解他们讨厌他，但我觉得那个红发警察——顺便说一句，他们最终还是逮捕了他——
So I could see them hating him, but I did feel like the red headed guy, which, by the way, they had to arrest him.
他对自己构成了危险。
He was a danger to the world to himself.
但我能想象他确实是个混蛋。
But I could see him, like, being, like, like an ass.
你知道吧？
You know?
是的。
Yeah.
总的来说，还不错。
All in all Not bad.
别把图迪关在盒子里。
Don't put Turdy in a box.
是的。
Yeah.
好的。
Okay.
但是，酒后驾车，你有多蠢啊？
But, like, drinking and driving, like, how stupid are you?
对不起。
I'm sorry.
你有多蠢？
How stupid are you?
但如果你抛锚了怎么办？
But what if you're stranded?
认真点，就在车里睡一觉吧。
Sleep on the like, seriously, sleep it off in your car.
是的。
Yeah.
不是在车里睡两个小时。
Not off in your car for two hours.
是的。
Yeah.
去你喝玛格丽特的地方买杯咖啡，然后开车走。
Go get a coffee at the place you got a margarita and drive.
我觉得
I think
本想表达的是，酒后驾车永远没有借口。
what Ben was trying to say is that there's never an excuse to drink and drive.
但贾斯汀·比伯
But Justin Bieber
杰基，认真的，我们要被起诉了。
Jackie, seriously, we're gonna get sued.
别这样了。
Cut that out.
酒后驾车永远没有借口。
Never an excuse to drink and drive.
我觉得贾斯汀·比伯确实酒后驾车过。
I think Justin Bieber actually did drink and drive.
但贾斯汀·汀布莱克的借口比大多数人更少。
But Justin Timberlake had less excuses than most.
比大多数人。
Than most.
这其实是个好观点。
That's actually a good point.
这正是本想表达的意思。
That's what Ben was trying to say.
好的。
Okay.
这太美了。
That's beautiful.
另外，我们需要听听你对查佩尔·罗安的看法。
Also, we need your take on Chapel Roan.
还有，杰西·德雷珀。
Oh, and Jesse Draper.
还有，我们会稍后在节目中讨论斯拉穆，但先说查佩尔·罗安
And, oh, we'll talk about Slamu later in the show, but Chapel Rome
我简直没法告诉你，作为从第一次见到查佩尔·罗安的脸就极度讨厌她的人，查佩尔·罗安的这一系列事给我带来了多少快乐。
I can't even tell you, like, how much joy the Chapel Rome saga brought me as somebody who's, like, literally hated Chapel Rome from the second I met her face.
你知道吧？
You know?
嗯。
Mhmm.
而且我
And I
我觉得她完全是强加给我们的。
feel like she was definitely foisted on us.
比如，前年夏天，我们在做节目时，我记得有人评论说，你们怎么还不聊Chapel Roan？
Like, I remember the summer before last, we were doing episodes, and I remember people commenting, like, how are you guys not talking about Chapel Rome?
我当时就想，Chapel Roan是什么鬼？
I'm like, what the fuck a Chapel Roan?
那时候你根本就没跟上《西区故事》的节奏。
It was like, you don't you're, like, you're not in tune with West Side Story.
所以我才开始慢慢关注她。
So I started to, like, get in like, involved with her.
这是我一直以来的遗憾。
Such a regret of mine.
我觉得很高兴的是，她显然很讨厌出名。
Like, I I and I do feel good about the fact that she clearly hates being famous.
你不能怪我。
Like, you can't blame me.
是的。
Yeah.
我从未直播过。
I never streamed.
我从未当过死忠粉。
I never stan.
我从未去过她的演唱会。
I never went to a concert.
我从未主动听过她的一首歌，除了在超市或TikTok上偶然听到。
I never listened to a single song of hers, like outside of my own free will at the grocery store or on TikTok.
然后那个人吧，还有乔治男孩的那条推特我特别喜欢。
And this person, like, is so and I loved the boy George tweet.
你看到他发推特聊那件事了吗？
Did you see he tweeted about the saga?
不是说这件事，
Not this saga,
是上回法国那件事，沙普尔，就是沙普尔。
the The last French one, Chappelle, Chappelle.
对，查普尔，就是查普尔。
Yeah, Chappelle, Chappelle.
两周前她又闹出了一场轰动全网的失态风波，你能调出多琳·凯姆斯利的朋友乔治男孩发的那条推文吗？
When she had literally another famous breakdown two weeks ago, can you pull up the tweet from Boy George, Doreen Kemsley's friend?
哦不对，应该说是前任朋友。
Well, actually, ex friend.
他发推文聊了这件事，给出的看法就像一位睿智年长的导师那样，而且说得特别好。
He tweeted about the situation offering just like a wiser, older, you know, mentors take, but it was so good.
我受不了这个婊子。
I can't stand this bitch.
我是真的受不了。
Like, I really can't.
他说他让她正视自己的名气。
He said he told her to own her fame.
他说：这可能没什么帮助，但我已经在这条名人的路上走了很久。
He said, it's probably not helpful, but I have been doing this fame thing for a while.
你会慢慢、痛苦地明白，一旦你把自己变成一只天堂鸟，就不会再有豁免权。
And you learn slowly and painfully that you don't get a free pass once you turn yourself into a bird of paradise.
我看过查佩尔在巴黎拍摄狗仔队的视频，我笑了，因为我以前也多次冲他们发过火。
I watched Chapel Rome filming the paps in Paris, and I laughed because I had kicked off at them many times.
是的。
Yes.
有时候确实很烦人，但被忽视、被说成过气也一样令人厌烦。
It's annoying at times, but so is being ignored and told you're a has been.
生活永远在当下，我觉得夏佩尔看起来很棒，但振作起来吧，姑娘。
Life is always now, and I think Chapel looks great, but cheer up, girl.
世界就在你脚下。
The world is at your feet.
别再踢它了。
Stop kicking it.
拒绝拍照或签名要花更多时间。
It takes so much more time to say no to a picture or a signature.
设定界限很无聊。
Boundaries are boring.
用善意的魔力打破它们。
Break them with the magic of kindness.
世界就在你脚下。
The world is at your feet.
别再踢它了。
Stop kicking it.
真是句很棒的名言。
Like, great quote.
而且这还是在那整个孩子风波之前的事。
And that was before this whole, like, child saga.
所以，显然现在人们又在来回争论。
And so, obviously, now people are going back and forth.
当时那个保镖根本不是我的。
It was like, the the bodyguard wasn't mine.
啰啰嗦嗦的，别说了。
Yada yada, please.
你怎么看？
What do you think?
保镖就像在各种酒店里乱转，对着小女孩大喊大叫。
Bodyguards just like roam around random hotels yelling at little girls.
就算你直接付钱给他，你当时也是在洛拉帕鲁扎音乐节压轴演出。
Like, even if you were directly paying him, you were, headlining Lollapalooza.
显然，无论是演唱会，还是你管理着这样一个随机的安保人员，她说他和她没有任何关系。
Like, obviously either the concert, you're managing somebody this random security guy, she's saying he has no connection.
拜托了。
Like, please.
她真是太糟糕了。
She's so awful.
我真的受不了这个女孩。
Like I cannot stand this girl.
当我看到整个事件时，我的看法是什么？
And what was my take when I saw the whole saga?
我当时觉得，直到那时为止，我对自己不做任何关心这个根本不关心粉丝的人的决定感到满意。
I, like, I felt good about myself and my decision making up until this point for never having cared about this person who doesn't even care about her fans.
乔丹团队。
Team Jordan.
很明显，是裘德·洛的女儿团队。
Obviously, team Jude Law's daughter.
好吧。
Okay.
这整件事真是最疯狂的八卦了。
That was, the craziest saga about this whole thing.
是的。
Yeah.
我们怎么就没听说过这位女王呢？她的继父可是南美洲最著名的运动员，亲生父亲还是世界上最帅的男人。
Is that like, how did we not know this queen who's, like, stepdad is, like, the most famous athlete in South America and whose biological dad is, like, the hottest man alive?
是的。
Yeah.
那她妈妈是谁？
And who's the mom?
凯瑟琳·哈丁。
Catherine Harding.
厉害了，妈妈。
Slay mama.
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