对焦虑的焦虑：打破焦虑循环 第12天

这是《心理治疗精华》播客。

This is the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast.

我是埃玛·麦克亚当，一名持证婚姻与家庭治疗师。

I'm Emma McAdam, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

这些节目充满了基于研究的心理治疗知识，你可以从今天开始应用到生活中。

These episodes are filled with research backed therapeutic education that you can start applying in your life today.

希望你今天这期节目能有所收获。

I hope you find today's episode beneficial.

如果你知道有人能从这个播客中受益，请不要犹豫，分享给他们。

And if you know of someone who could benefit from this podcast, please don't hesitate to share it.

让我们携手合作，分享每个人都能使用的工具，帮助应对他们正在经历的艰难心理健康问题。

Let's work together and share tools everyone can use to help deal with the difficult mental health struggles they're going through.

每一期播客都对应一个视频。

Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video.

你可以在《心理治疗精华》的YouTube频道上找到这些视频。

You can find them on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel.

此外，这些播客仅用于教育目的，不能替代您从治疗师或其他医疗专业人员那里获得的建议或指导。

Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving from a therapist or other health professionals.

请享受本集内容。

Please enjoy the episode.

在本视频中，您将了解一个现代谎言，它让您困在焦虑循环中，以及如何打断对焦虑本身的焦虑循环。

In this video, you're gonna learn about one modern lie that keeps you trapped in the anxiety cycle and how to interrupt the cycle of being anxious about anxiety.

好了，各位。

Alright, everyone.

你们可能一直被关于焦虑的错误信息误导。

You've probably been lied to about anxiety.

在我们的文化中，有一种迷思，认为焦虑对你极其危险，存在一场焦虑流行病，焦虑这种感觉本身就是一种威胁，拥有这种感觉是危险的、有害的，而且比以往任何时候都更严重。

In our culture, we have this myth that anxiety is super dangerous for you, that there's an epidemic of anxiety, that anxiety itself, the feeling is a threat, and that having that feeling is dangerous, it's harmful, and that it's worse than it's ever been before.

这种观念受到文化信息的推动，这些信息不断强调：如果你不时刻快乐，那就说明你有问题，你应该购买我们推销的产品来解决它。

Now this is fueled by cultural messaging that screams, if you're not happy all the time, something's wrong with you, and you should probably buy what we're selling to fix it.

此外，现代媒体也从中获利，它们靠制造恐惧来赚钱，字面意义上的恐惧。

And it's also fueled by modern media which profits off of scaring people, literally.

我搜索了‘焦虑流行病’，得到了三千五百万个结果。

I googled the anxiety epidemic and I got 35,000,000 results.

我的意思是，实际上有很好的理由会感到焦虑。

I mean, there are actually good reasons to have anxiety.

我的意思是，如果你留意一下，就会发现麻烦无处不在。

I mean, if you look, you can find that trouble abounds.

但就真正的危险而言，我们现在比以往任何时候都更安全。

But as far as actual dangers, we're safer than ever.

所以现在，我们不再面对真实的威胁去应对、对抗或逃离，而是坐着自我内省，为自己的焦虑而感到焦虑。

So now instead of having a real threat to face, to fight off, or escape from, we're sitting around navel gazing, getting anxiety about our anxiety.

我们害怕自己的感受。

We're afraid of our feelings.

我们觉得必须逃离这些感受，或强迫它们改变。

We feel we must escape from them or force them to change.

事实上，确实现在比以往有更多人患有焦虑障碍。

Now the truth is that, yes, more people have disordered anxiety than ever.

但认为焦虑感会伤害你的这种说法，就像说花椰菜可以代替米饭一样荒谬。

But the narrative that the feeling of anxiety will harm you is a lot like the idea that cauliflower is a suitable substitute for rice.

这完全是谎言。

It's a straight up lie.

慢性压力和慢性焦虑（而慢性焦虑正是导致慢性压力的原因）确实可能引发身体疾病，但你可以选择是否陷入慢性压力或慢性焦虑。

Chronic stress and chronic anxiety, which is what causes chronic stress, can cause physical illnesses, but you can choose whether or not you have chronic stress or chronic anxiety.

它们并非不可避免。

They aren't inevitable.

焦虑感本身并不会伤害你。

The feeling of anxiety won't harm you.

你的身体本就该感受到焦虑。

Your body is supposed to feel anxiety.

它本就该如此。

It's meant to.

它知道该如何应对。

It knows what to do with it.

你能应对它。

You can handle it.

但当我们害怕自己的感受时，就会突然陷入一个极其无益的恶性循环。

But when we become afraid of our feelings, then suddenly we get stuck in a super unhelpful spiral.

我们开始与自己的感受抗争，试图通过深呼吸、冥想或其他任何方法强迫自己冷静下来，以消除焦虑，但这只会让情况变得更糟。

We start struggling against our feelings, trying to force ourselves to calm down with deep breathing or meditation or anything to make the anxiety go away, but this just makes things worse.

我们在焦虑之上叠加了更多的焦虑。

We pile anxiety onto our anxiety.

对焦虑的焦虑表现为对失控的恐惧，比如：如果我睡不着，我会强迫自己入睡，这反而让我更焦虑，更难入睡。

Anxiety about anxiety looks like fear of losing control, like, oh, if I can't sleep, I try to force myself to sleep which makes me more anxious and makes it harder to sleep.

或者对身体感觉的过度敏感。

Or hyper awareness of physical sensations.

如果我在演讲前感到颤抖，我会强迫自己放慢呼吸，但越焦虑，我呼吸越快，这让我抖得更厉害。

If I'm shaky before presentation, I try to force myself to slow my breathing, but the more anxious I get, the faster I breathe, which makes me shakier.

或者预期性焦虑，即对未来可能出现焦虑症状感到焦虑。

Or anticipatory anxiety, feeling anxious about the possibility of experiencing anxiety symptoms in the future.

这可能导致一种循环：担心下一次焦虑发作何时发生，或试图回避或控制可能引发更多焦虑的情境。

So this can lead to a cycle of worrying about when the next anxiety attack will occur or trying to avoid or control situations, which can trigger more anxiety.

这就像你小时候发现，如果把一面镜子对准另一面镜子，影像会无限延伸，只不过现在还加了一点存在主义的恐惧。

It's kind of like when you were a kid and you discovered that if you held a mirror up to a mirror, it goes on forever and ever, except for now with a fun pinch of existential dread.

对焦虑的焦虑表现为担心别人会注意到你在录关于焦虑的YouTube视频时发抖、出汗或口吃。

Anxiety about anxiety looks like worrying that others will notice that you're shaking or sweating or stumbling over your words doing a during a YouTube video about anxiety.

它表现为对焦虑想法感到焦虑，比如：‘天啊。’

It looks like feeling anxious about your anxious thoughts, like, oh, no.

我又在灾难化思维了。

I'm catastrophizing again.

这会毁掉一切。

This will ruin everything.

我的意思是，这种情况甚至也发生在我身上。

I mean, this even happens to me.

对吧？

Right?

我有时会因为焦虑而感到焦虑。

I get anxiety about anxiety sometimes.

有一天，我收到一封威胁要采取法律行动的信，我为此感到不安。

One day, I got a letter in the mail threatening legal action and I felt upset about it.

我联系了我的律师，想出了应对策略，但仍然感到焦虑。

Called my lawyer as I figured out a strategy to deal with it, but I still felt anxious.

当时有家人从外地来看我，于是我开始担心：如果他们在的时候我焦虑了怎么办？

And I had family visiting from out of town, so now I started to worry like, oh, what would happen if I was anxious when they were here?

我想，这会毁掉一切。

I thought, oh, this is gonna ruin everything.

我觉得我必须让这种感觉消失，才能在他们面前表现得开心愉快。

I thought I have to make this go away so that I can be happy and pleasant with them.

我感觉到焦虑不断累积、加剧。

And, I just felt that anxiety build and build.

于是我试图强迫自己冷静下来，但焦虑却愈演愈烈。

So I tried to force myself to calm down, and the anxiety only spiraled.

我尝试了深呼吸、散步、写日记、打电话给朋友，以及谈论这件事。

I tried breathing, taking a walk, journaling, calling a friend, and talking about it.

虽然这些方法通常有效，但这次却不管用。

And while these strategies often help, this time they didn't.

于是我又去散了散步，突然间我明白了。

So I went for another walk, and suddenly it clicked.

我陷入了对焦虑本身的焦虑循环中。

I was stuck in the spiral of anxiety about anxiety.

当我意识到这一点时，我就知道该怎么做。

And when I recognized that, I knew what to do.

但首先，我们来聊聊你的大脑是如何运作的。

But first, let's talk about how your brain works.

当我们与自己的情绪对抗时，这会告诉大脑这些情绪非常重要，反而会让它们变得更强烈。

When we struggle against our feelings, that tells our brain that these feelings are really important, and it actually makes them louder.

我们持续关注什么、赋予什么能量，什么就会变得更响亮。

What we consistently pay attention to, what we give energy to becomes louder.

这就是神经可塑性发挥作用的方式之一，你可能会陷入对焦虑的焦虑这一循环中，这种状态很难摆脱。

That's one of the ways that neuroplasticity works, and it can feel like you get stuck in this cycle of anxiety about anxiety, and this can feel hard to escape from.

现在你可以减少焦虑。

Now you can decrease anxiety.

你可以对焦虑产生巨大的掌控力，但你无法直接强迫一种情绪发生改变。

You can get a massive degree of influence over your anxiety, but you can't force a feeling to change directly.

这很矛盾。

It's a paradox.

你可以训练你的副交感神经系统更活跃，但强行或试图强迫自己冷静下来，只会加剧焦虑循环。

You can train your parasympathetic response to be more active, but forcing or trying to force yourself to calm down just feeds the anxiety cycle.

所以，这个悖论就是这样的，对吧？

So the paradox is this, right?

我们唯一需要恐惧的，就是恐惧本身，或者说，我们唯一需要恐惧的，是对恐惧的恐惧。

We have nothing to fear but fear itself, or we have nothing to fear but fear of fear itself.

那么，相反的做法是什么呢？

So what's the opposite?

什么方法能帮助我们应对焦虑，而不是加剧这个循环？

What helps us work through anxiety instead of feeding the cycle?

好的。

Okay.

首先，挑战那种认为焦虑危险且必须避免的信念。

First, challenge the belief that anxiety is dangerous and must be avoided.

感受情绪是安全的。

It is safe to have emotions.

你可以感到焦虑，但依然没事。

You can feel anxiety and be okay.

放弃与焦虑的抗争，实际上会帮助你减少与它相处的时间。

Dropping the struggle with anxiety will actually help you spend less time with it.

而且，你知道，第一部分基本上就是讲这个的。

And, you know, all of section one was kind of about that.

第二，向内靠近，而不是向外逃避。

Number two, lean in, not out.

愿意。

Willingness.

对吧？

Right?

我这里有两句古老的谚语可以帮助你。

I've got two ancient proverbs that help here.

第一，别给网络喷子喂食。

Number one, don't feed the Internet trolls.

《道德经》里说，不易弯曲的树会在风暴中折断。

And from the Tao Te Ching, a tree that won't bend easily breaks in storms.

坚硬和强势的终将失败。

The hard and the strong will fail.

心胸开放者终将胜出。

The open hearted prevail.

你能停止对焦虑的僵硬抗拒，敞开心扉去感受情绪吗？

Can you stop being rigid with your anxiety and open yourself up to having feelings?

我们可以学会对焦虑的情绪表现出接纳和同情。

We can learn to show acceptance and compassion toward our anxious feelings.

哦，嗨，焦虑。

Oh, hi, anxiety.

我看到你今天又来了。

I see that you've shown up again today.

我能感受到这种情绪，并且没关系。

I can feel this feeling and be okay.

如果我不能马上睡着，也没关系。

If I can't fall asleep immediately, it's okay.

我知道我的焦虑只是想帮我做好准备，而与之对抗并无帮助。

I know my anxiety is just trying to help me prepare, and struggling against it won't help.

我知道即使今晚睡得不好，我也能应对。

I know I can handle it even if it means I don't sleep that well tonight.

你现在可能在想，不行。

Now you might be thinking, no.

焦虑会让我睡不着觉，明天让我变得易怒和痛苦，这会导致我在育儿、演讲或任何我必须做的事情上失败。

Anxiety is gonna make me lose sleep, is gonna make me cranky and miserable tomorrow, which is gonna make me fail at parenting or presenting or whatever I have to do.

但那也仅仅是一个想法。

But that is also just a thought.

这有帮助吗？

Is it helpful?

相信这个想法、认同这个想法能让你睡得更好吗？

Does believing that thought, buying that thought help you sleep better?

大概不会。

Probably not.

相反，如果我足够疲惫，我就会睡着。

Instead, If I'm if I'm tired enough, I'll fall asleep.

我会起床，做点别的事情一会儿。

I'll get up and do something else for a little bit.

当我感到困倦时，我会回到床上。

When I feel sleepy, I'll come back to bed.

我们稍后会更多地讨论焦虑和睡眠，但入睡困难会让你的睡眠变得更糟。

We're gonna talk more about anxiety and sleep later, but struggling to sleep makes your sleep worse.

这就是关键。

That's the bottom line.

好的。

Okay.

再举一个例子。

Here's another example.

我可能会对去读书会感到焦虑，但这没关系。

I can feel anxious about going to book club, but that's okay.

即使有时感到焦虑，我今天也想和人们在一起。

I want to be around people today even if I feel anxiety sometimes.

这一切都是关于主动面对。

This is all about leaning in.

你为焦虑留出了足够的空间，让它存在，但它不再左右你的决定。

You make so much space for anxiety that it can be there, but it doesn't make your decisions anymore.

这就像给你的岳父母订酒店房间，而不是让他们睡在你客厅里。

It's kind of like getting your in laws a hotel room instead of having them sleep in your living room.

你是在为他们腾出空间。

You're making space for them.

那回到我的故事。

So back to my story.

好的。

Okay.

当我第二次外出散步时，注意到自己陷入了恶性循环，我突然意识到：傻瓜艾玛，你知道该怎么做。

While I was out on the second walk and I was noticing that I was engaging in the spiral, I had this realization, Silly Emma, you know what to do here.

你不需要强迫焦虑消失。

You don't need to force your anxiety to go away.

你可以感受到焦虑，但依然过得去。

You can feel the anxiety and be okay anyways.

于是我为自己的感受和身体反应腾出了空间。

So I made space for my feelings and sensations.

我说，呼吸急促、心跳加快都没关系。

I said, It's okay to breathe fast, to have your heart beat fast.

这没关系。

That's okay.

你的身体能承受得了。

Your body can handle it.

你能应付得来。

You can handle it.

来吧，我说。

Bring it on, I said.

结果连我的家人也能承受得了。

Turns out even my family members could handle it.

我和其中一位家人聊了这件事，这实际上让我们感觉更亲近了。

I had a conversation with one of them about this situation, and it actually helped us feel closer together.

当我不再与焦虑抗争时，压力就自然而然地消散了。

When I dropped the struggle with anxiety, the pressure just melted away.

并不是所有的焦虑都消失了，但对焦虑本身的焦虑消失了。

Not all the anxiety did, but the anxiety about the anxiety did.

好的。

Okay.

第三，练习将注意力转移到你的身体感受上。

Number three, practice shifting your attention with your sensations.

当你感到焦虑时，你可能会非常专注于那些令人不适的身体感觉。

So when you feel anxiety, you might have very a very strong focus on your uncomfortable physical sensations.

你可能会过度关注自己正在感受的东西。

You might hyper focus in on what you're feeling.

有感受是没关系的。

And it's okay to have feelings.

胃不舒服、呼吸急促、手掌出汗都没关系，你可以为这些感受留出空间。

It's okay to have an upset stomach or fast breathing or sweaty palms, and you can make some space for that.

你可以向它们传递你的爱。

You can send them your love.

所以，例如，你可以把手放在肚子上，说：嘿，小蝴蝶，你好。

So, for example, you could put your hand on your stomach and say, Oh, hi there, butterflies.

我注意到你了。

I notice you.

我感受到你了。

I feel you.

你今天怎么样？

How are you today?

你静静地聆听一会儿，留出空间，然后轻轻地把注意力转移到其他感觉上，比如：我听到了什么？

And and you listen for a moment and you make space, and then you gently redirect your attention to other sensations like, Oh, what can I hear?

我看到了什么？

What can I see?

我闻到了什么？

What can I smell?

在躯体疗法中，这被称为摆动。

Now in somatic therapy, they call this pendulation.

我们轻柔地在关注内在和向外扩展之间来回摆动，再回到内在，再向外。

We swing with gentleness from paying attention to inside ourselves and then expand to outside of ourselves, back inside and outside.

不要陷入过度专注于你的感受，但也不要压抑它们。

Don't want to be stuck hyper focusing on your sensations, and you also don't want to suppress them.

所以你只需轻轻地来回摆动。

So you just kind of pendulate back and forth.

好的。

Okay.

第四点。

Number four.

允许焦虑存在，并将你的注意力转回你关心的事情上。

Allow anxiety to be there and shift your attention back to what you care about.

对吧？

Right?

这是另一种形式的摆动。

This is another form of pendulation.

这就像你在回应一个不断打断你的孩子，而且你尽量以最大的善意去做。

It's like you're acknowledging a child who keeps interrupting you, and you do it with as much kindness as possible.

哦，嘿，宝贝。

Oh, hey there, honey.

你在说什么？

What are you saying?

对吧？

Right?

你想要更多的冰淇淋吗？

You want more ice cream?

现在不行，亲爱的。

Not right now, dear.

我正在忙一件事。

I'm in the middle of something.

我得打扫十五分钟，然后我们就可以玩了。

I've got to clean for fifteen minutes, and then we can play.

对吧？

Right?

你要承认焦虑，倾听它在说什么，然后把注意力重新转向你的价值观。

You you acknowledge the anxiety, you listen to what it's saying, and then you redirect your attention back to your values.

比如，我对这次演讲感到焦虑，但我也很想表达我的观点，所以我会允许这种焦虑存在，然后专注于尽力表达清楚我的想法。

For example, I feel anxious about this presentation, but I also care to share my opinion, so I'll allow that anxiety to be there, and then I'll just focus on doing my best to get my point across.

好的。

Okay.

第五点，接受你无法控制的事情，专注于你能控制的事情。

Number five, accept what you can't control and focus on what you can.

我无法控制自己是否感到焦虑，但我可以选择如何应对它。

I can't control whether I feel anxiety, but I can choose how I respond to it.

我无法强迫自己的想法或感受发生变化，但我可以选择对自己保持慈悲。

I can't force my thoughts or sensations to change, but I can choose to be compassionate towards myself.

你必须坦诚地承认自己无法控制情绪，只能控制自己的行为。

You have to admit to yourself that you can't control your feelings, only your actions.

宁静祷文很有帮助。

The serenity prayer is helpful.

请赐予我宁静，去接受我无法改变的事物，勇气去改变我能改变的事物，以及智慧去分辨两者的区别。

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

把注意力转向你能选择的事情上。

Shift your attention to what you can choose.

我不是想表达那种‘哦，何必呢？’的意思。

I don't mean this in a like, Oh, why bother?

那种方式。

Sort of way.

你可以做很多事情来影响焦虑，逐步减轻它，但你不能强迫焦虑症状在当下立刻改变，而且试图这样做通常是有害的。

There is a lot you can do to influence your anxiety, to decrease it over time, but you can't force anxiety symptoms to change in the moment, and it's usually harmful to try.

所以，有五种应对焦虑性焦虑的技巧。

So there's five skills for working with anxiety about anxiety.

第一，记住焦虑只是一种情绪，它不会伤害你，为焦虑留出空间，承认你的感受，并且也将注意力转向外部；第五，明确你能控制和不能控制的事情。

Number one, remember anxiety is a feeling it won't harm you, make space for anxiety, acknowledge your sensations, and shift your attention outside as well, And five, clarify what you can and can't control.

好的。

Okay.

为焦虑留出空间，而不是抗拒或害怕它，是一种你可以选择采取的实际行动。

Making space for anxiety instead of resisting it and fearing it is a practical step that you can choose to take.

这是一种你可以不断练习的行动，直到你非常熟练，而当你做到时，它会帮助你把注意力从焦虑转移到你真正关心的事情上，无论是你身边的人、你需要做的演讲，还是做一个善良且有连接感的人。

It's an action that you can practice until you get really good at it, and when you do, it opens you up to shift your focus from anxiety to the things you really care about, whether it's the people around you, the presentation you need to give, or just being a kind and connected human.

好。

K.

感谢观看。

Thank you for watching.

谢谢你的参与，保重。

Thanks for being here, and take care.

希望你喜欢这一集，并找到一些可以加入日常习惯中的方法，让生活变得更好一点。

I hope you enjoyed this episode and found something you can add to your daily routine that makes your life a little bit better.

如果你想了解更多关于如何处理艰难情绪、改变大脑、建立更好关系，或支持患有精神疾病的人的知识，请访问我的课程网站 therapyinanutshell.com。

If you want to learn more about topics like how to process tough emotions, how to change your brain, how to build better relationships, or support someone you know with a mental illness, then check out my classes at therapyinanutshell.com.

如果你觉得这些播客对你有帮助，请留下评分，以便其他人更容易找到这些内容。

And if you feel like these podcasts have been a benefit to you, please leave a rating so others can more easily find this content.

非常感谢你，祝你今天愉快。

Thank you so much, and have a great day.