如何停止担忧：打破焦虑循环 第14天

欢迎回到《治疗一言以蔽之》播客的又一期节目。

Welcome back to another episode of the Therapy in a Nutshell podcast.

我是艾玛·麦克亚当，一名持证婚姻与家庭治疗师。

I'm Emma McAdam, and I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist.

这个播客旨在将治疗中那些改变人生但通常较为复杂的主题，简化为简单易懂的概念，让你能在日常生活中运用。

And this podcast is all about taking the life changing but usually kind of complicated topics of therapy and boiling them down into simple, easy to understand concepts that you can use in your daily life.

如果你觉得今天的节目对你有帮助，请分享给其他可能从中受益的人。

If you find today's episode as helpful to you, please pass it on to someone else who could benefit from it as well.

每一期播客都对应着一个可以在《治疗一言以蔽之》YouTube频道上找到的视频。

Each podcast episode comes from a corresponding video you can find on the Therapy in a Nutshell YouTube channel.

此外，这些播客内容仅供教育用途，不能替代你从治疗师或其他医疗专业人员那里获得的建议或指导。

Also, these podcasts are educational and don't replace the advice or direction you may be receiving from a therapist or other health professionals.

现在，请享受本期节目。

Now please enjoy the episode.

担忧是焦虑的燃料。

Worry is the fuel of anxiety.

它正是广泛性焦虑障碍的燃料。

It's what feeds generalized anxiety disorder.

如果你想学会控制广泛性焦虑障碍，就必须学会控制你的担忧。

If you wanna learn how to control generalized anxiety disorder, you have to learn how to control your worry.

但如果你告诉别人别再担心了，他们只会摇摇头，因为这没那么简单。

But if you tell someone to stop worrying, they'll just, like, shake their head because it's not that easy.

担忧很难控制。

Worry is hard to control.

这是一种根深蒂固的老习惯，在你的神经通路中留下了深深的痕迹，你这么做是因为你的大脑以为它在保护你，但实际上却让你不堪重负。

It's an old habit that's worn deep grooves into your neural pathways, and you do it because your brain thinks it protects you, but it really weighs you down.

在这个视频中，你会了解你的大脑为何喜欢担忧，为何认为担忧有帮助，还会学到一种非常实用的方法来为担忧设定界限，因为一旦你这么做，就能大幅降低焦虑，幅度可达百分之七十五。

In this video, you'll learn why your brain likes to worry, why your brain thinks it's helpful, and you'll learn a really practical way to set boundaries on your worrying because when you do, you can decrease anxiety massively, like seventy five percent.

好的。

Okay.

那么，我们回到焦虑循环。

So back to the anxiety cycle.

我们从刺激开始，某刻我们会感知到危险。

We start here at stimulus, and at some point we perceive danger.

我们相信自己处于危险之中，无论这种危险是真实的还是存在于我们的脑海中，这都会触发焦虑反应。

We believe that we're in danger, whether that's real or in our head, that's what triggers the anxiety response.

正是我们对危险的念头让我们感到焦虑，对大多数人来说，担忧是引发焦虑症的根源。

It's our thoughts of danger that make us feel anxious, and for most people, it's worrying that fuels anxiety disorders.

当我们担忧时，我们会想象未来的危险，比如被拒绝、失去工作或人生失败，这会在我们体内引发真实的生理反应——战斗、逃跑或冻结反应。

When we worry, we imagine future dangers like being rejected or losing our jobs or failing at life, and that creates a real physical reaction in our bodies, the fight flight freeze response.

虽然看起来最合理的办法就是停止担忧，但事情并非如此简单，因为我们的大脑喜欢担忧，因为有时担忧确实能让我们更安全，有时担忧能保护我们，而我们的大脑设计的初衷是让我们活下去，而不是让我们快乐。

And while it seems like the logical answer is to just stop worrying, it doesn't work like that because our brain likes to worry, because sometimes worrying keeps us safe, sometimes worrying protects us, and our brain is designed to keep us alive, not to make us happy.

让我们回顾一下大脑喜欢担忧的两个原因。

So let's review the two reasons why your brain likes to worry.

本课程中接下来有一段补充视频，会更详细地讲解这一点，但这里先做个总结。

There's a bonus video after this one in the course that goes into a lot more detail on this, but here's the summary.

担忧是一种变异的问题解决方式。

Worry is a mutated form of problem solving.

人类拥有极其强大的大脑，能够想象未来的场景并找到解决方案，而我们规划未来的能力正是我们上学或为不时之需存钱的原因。

Humans have these super powerful brains that can imagine future scenarios and find solutions to them, and our ability to plan for the future is why we attend school or save for a rainy day.

对吧？

Right?

良好的问题解决是主动的。

Good problem solving is intentional.

你主动选择去这样做。

You choose to do it.

它聚焦于你能掌控的范围，即你可以改变的事情，并且具有行动导向性。

It's focused on your locus of control, what you can change, and it's action oriented.

但担忧就像癌症。

But worry is like a cancer.

它开始蔓延到你生活的方方面面，告诉你何时何地该担忧，而且常常聚焦于你无法改变的事情。

It starts to spread to all the areas of your life, and it's telling you when and where to do it, and it often focuses on things that you can't change.

因此，担忧是一种适应不良的问题解决方式。

So worry is maladaptive problem solving.

担忧实际上让人感觉良好。

Worrying secretly feels good.

你的大脑潜意识里相信，担忧能防止坏事发生。

Your brain secretly believes that worrying is preventing bad things from happening.

这是一种隐蔽的魔法思维。

It's a sneaky form of magical thinking.

假设你的孩子要进行一次长途驾驶，你担心他会遭遇车祸，而他最终没有出事，你的大脑就会潜意识地认为，正是你的担忧阻止了坏事发生，从而强化了这种担忧。

So let's say that your child is going on a long drive, and you worry about your child getting into a car crash, and they don't get into a car crash, your brain subconsciously believes that worrying prevented bad things from happening, and it's going to reinforce that worry.

这会让你更加担忧。

It's gonna make you worry more.

有人在我的一个视频下留言说：‘如果你不再为此担忧，就意味着你没有尽到责任，那就会酿成灾难，而且全都是你的错。’

Someone commented on one of my videos, if you stop worrying about this, it means you're not taking care of this, so it's gonna be a disaster, and it's gonna be your fault entirely.

这是你的大脑认为担忧能保护你的第一个原因。

That's the first reason your brain believes that worry protects you.

有一天，在我学会了一些停止持续担忧的技巧后，我开车上路时没有担忧，突然意识到不那么焦虑的感觉真好，就在这时，一个突如其来的念头击中了我：‘如果我太安逸、太开心，然后坏事发生了怎么办？’

One day after I learned some of these skills to stop constant worry, was I driving down the road one day, and I wasn't worrying, and I was really like, was realizing how good that felt to not feel so anxious, and then out of the blue, I was struck by a very loud thought that said, What if I get too comfortable and happy, and then something bad happens?

如果因为我太开心了，上帝不得不降下一些考验呢？

What if God has to send some trials because I was feeling too happy?

一旦我注意到这个想法，我简直大笑出声，因为我完全知道这个想法的来源。

And as soon as I noticed this thought, I literally laughed out loud because I know exactly what that thought is.

这是担忧在试图说服我继续担忧。

It's a worry trying to convince me to keep worrying.

我其实并不相信上帝是这样的，也不相信担忧能阻止坏事发生，但这就是我的大脑喜欢担忧的真正原因。

I don't actually believe that God is like that, and I don't actually believe that worrying prevents bad things from happening, but this is the exact reason why my brain likes to worry.

它认为担忧能让我保持安全。

It believes that worrying is keeping me safe.

这是一种错误的思维。

This is faulty thinking.

但如果你告诉一个人别再担忧了，他们会怎么说？

But if you tell someone to stop worrying, what will they say?

他们会说：哦，没那么简单。

They'll say, Oh, it's not that easy.

我真希望我能。

I wish I could.

我觉得我必须这么做，否则就是掩耳盗铃。

I feel like I have to, or That's just putting my head in the sand.

尽管看起来不可能，但你可以学会停止担忧，让我来教你怎么做。

And even though it seems impossible, you can learn how to stop worrying, so let me teach you how.

另外，我要感谢米克·温格尔，他将大量心理学知识提炼成了实用且可操作的技能。

Also, I need to give credit to Mick Wignal for really condensing a lot of this psychology into practical actionable skills.

如果你想了解更多，请查看他的课程《无虑人生》。

If you'd like to learn more, please check out his course Worry Free.

链接在简介中。

Link's in the description.

好的。

Okay.

所以第一步，你需要分清担忧和过度担忧的区别。

So step number one, you need to know the difference between a worry and worrying.

有两种类型的想法。

There are two types of thoughts.

第一种是那种整天不断在你脑海中冒出来又消失的想法。

Number one is the type of thought that just pops in and out of your head all day.

你的大脑就像一台词语机器。

Your brain is a word machine.

它会不断地产生随机的想法。

It's going to make random thoughts all the time.

第二种想法是我们会主动参与的。

The second type of thought is something we engage with.

这是主动思考。

It's active thinking.

这是一种行为参与。

It's engaging in a behavior.

思考是我们正在做的事情，我们需要用两种不同的技能来应对两种不同的思考方式。

Thinking is something that we're doing, and we need to be able to use two different types of skills for two different types of thinking.

对于那些随机冒出来的想法，也就是这些自动思维，与其去纠缠它们，不如不去理会，但也不必与之对抗。

For the random pop in thoughts, these automatic thoughts, it just doesn't help to engage with them, but it also doesn't help to struggle against them.

如果一个担忧的想法突然出现，你只需注意到它，然后对大脑说：‘嘿，大脑，谢谢你的这个担忧想法。’

If a worry thought pops into your head, you just notice it, say, hey brain, thanks for making that worry thought.

继续。

Moving on.

所以对于担忧的想法，我们使用认知解离。

So with worry thoughts, we use cognitive diffusion.

你不需要与你的担忧想法对抗。

You don't struggle against your worry thoughts.

那样只会让它们变得更顽固。

That just makes them stickier.

但担忧，那是另一回事。

But worrying, that's a different thing.

担忧是指你允许自己的思绪反复纠结于烦恼。

Worrying is when you're allowing your mind to dwell on troubles.

担忧是你不断在脑海中反复琢磨一个问题的行为。

Worrying is the action that you are doing of turning a problem over and over in your mind.

当我们与担忧的想法互动并持续思考它们时，就是如此。

It's when we engage with worry thoughts and we keep thinking them.

这是你正在主动进行的事情。

This is something that you are doing.

而不是发生在你身上的事情。

It's not something that happens to you.

为了控制焦虑，我们需要为自己的担忧设定界限。

To control anxiety, we need to set boundaries on our worrying.

所以，让我们把担忧想象成一列火车。

So let's think about worrying as if it were a train.

当一列火车在行驶时，它拥有巨大的惯性。

When a train is moving, it's got a ton of momentum.

如果你试图停下这列火车，会非常困难。

If you try to stop a train, it's super hard.

快速停止它是不可能的，但将列车引导到特定轨道上相对容易。

It's impossible to do quickly, but it's relatively easy to direct a train to a specific track.

你可以将这列火车引向另一个方向。

You can channel that train into a different direction.

我们将利用所有这些担忧的能量，通过一种叫做‘定时担忧’的技巧，告诉它何时何地可以进行担忧。

We're gonna take all that worrying energy, and we're gonna tell it when and where it's allowed to go using a skill called scheduled worry.

所以，你要有意识地去担忧。

So you are going to worry on purpose.

下面是具体做法。

Here's how you do it.

每天规划一个固定时间，坐下来专门担忧十五到三十分钟，我希望你选择一个稳定的时间。

Plan a time each day when you are going to sit down and worry for fifteen to thirty minutes, and I want you to pick a consistent time.

这是一项练习，而不是一种应对技巧。

This is an exercise, not a coping skill.

我们是在增强大脑设定界限的能力，而不仅仅是试图在焦虑时感觉好一点。

We're strengthening your brain's ability to set boundaries, not just trying to feel better when you're anxious.

所以如果你想培养这些大脑的边界肌肉，也就是在大脑中建立一个新的思维通道或新的列车轨道，你就必须保持一致。

So you need to be consistent if you wanna develop these brain boundary muscles, basically a new groove in your brain, a new train track in your brain.

所以请选择一个你能坚持的时间，我不建议选在早上刚起床时或晚上睡觉前。

So choose a time that you can be consistent, and I do not recommend first thing in the morning or last thing before bed.

比如，别在床上做这件事，或者任何你希望用来放松的地方。

Like, don't do it in your bed or some other place that you want it to be relaxing.

这是专门的担忧时间，比如厨房台面可能是个不错的选择，或者你工作时的办公桌，类似这样的地方。

This is worry time, like kitchen counter might be a good place for this or your desk at work, something like that.

对吧？

Right?

与其告诉大脑不要担忧，不如告诉它何时何地可以担忧，这样更容易。

It's easier to tell your brain when and where to worry than to tell it to not worry.

在这一段时间里，也就是你固定的时间，我要你把所有的担忧都写下来。

Then during this time, during this consistent time, I want you to write down all your worries.

把它们写在纸上会让它们更具体，也向你的大脑表明你是认真的，你会处理这些担忧，因此它就不必一整天都不断提醒你了。

Putting them down on paper makes them more concrete, and it shows your brain that you're serious, that you'll address these worries so that it doesn't have to keep reminding you throughout the day.

如果你愿意，可以进一步明确一些你的担忧。

And if you'd like, you can clarify some of your worries.

你也可以选择一两件你打算采取行动的事情，或者是否有需要解决的问题，比如如果你担心钱的问题，也许这周你需要通过信封预算法来严格执行预算。

You can also choose if there's one or two things you want to plan to take action on, or perhaps there's a problem you need to solve, like if you're worried about money, maybe you need to stick to a budget this week by using an envelope system.

对吧？

Right?

但这个练习的重点并不是解决问题，我们将在第四章更深入地讨论问题解决。

But this this exercise isn't really about problem solving, and we're gonna talk more about problem solving in chapter four.

这个练习的目标是告诉你的大脑：现在，下午六点。

The goal of this exercise is to tell your brain this right now, six p.

分。

M.

在接下来的十五分钟里，是我担心的时间。

For fifteen minutes is when I worry.

当计时器响起时，离开这个空间，把纸留在原地，去做点别的事情。

Then when your timer goes off, step away, leave the paper in the space, and go do something different.

所以，给朋友打个电话、散个步、和你的狗玩玩，任何让你投入的事情都可以。

So it can be nice to call a friend, go for a walk, play with your dogs, whatever is engaging for you.

你的下一次担忧时间在24小时后。

Your next worry session is in twenty four hours.

那在这期间你该怎么做呢？

So what do you do in the meantime?

当担忧出现时，你要觉察到它，并将注意力转移开。

When a worry comes up, you want to notice it and redirect it.

所以，它听起来可能会像这样。

So it's going to sound something like this.

哦，哦，你好啊，担忧。

Oh, oh, hi there worry.

我们六点再聊。

Let's talk at 06:00.

好吗？

Okay?

然后把注意力转到你当下真正想做的事情上。

And then redirect your attention to what you do want to be doing in the present moment.

你关心的是什么？

What do you care about?

是你的工作吗？

Is it your work?

是身边的人吗？

Is it the people around you?

把注意力转向他们。

Shift your attention to them.

如果担忧又冒出来，你发现这些担忧不断出现，就说：谢谢你的提醒。

And if a worry pops up again, you keep having these worries pop up, you say, thanks for telling me.

这些担忧真的很强烈。

Those are some really strong worries.

我们六点再聊它们。

Let's talk about them at six.

然后你立即回到你的价值观，回到你所在乎的事情上。

And you go right back to your values, what you care about.

现在我只想和我的孩子们一起玩。

Right now I wanna be playing with my kids.

现在我只想欣赏日落。

Right now I wanna be noticing the sunset.

我们的思维需要将注意力重新引导到当下和我们的价值观上。

With our minds, we need to redirect our attention to the present moment and our values.

我们需要关注自己希望生活围绕什么展开，而不是沉溺于对未来的恐惧或任由焦虑占据主导。

We need to pay attention to what we want our life to be about instead of dwelling on future fears or allowing worrying to take over.

记住，这并不是一种应对技巧，而是一种练习。

Remember, this isn't a coping skill, this is an exercise.

例如，如果你觉得自己很胖、体能差，上楼时很容易气喘，你可能会开始锻炼身体，以改善心血管健康。

So for example, if you find yourself feeling really fat and out of shape and like you get winded really easily going upstairs, you might start working out, exercising physically to improve your cardiovascular health.

当你感到焦虑得几乎窒息时，这就是你需要进行的练习，持续几周到一个月，至少连续三周，每天在固定时间进行。

When you find yourself drowning in anxiety, this is the exercise to do for a few weeks to a month, Do it for three weeks minimum every single day at a scheduled time.

不要把它当作担心时的应对技巧。

Don't use it as a coping skill for when you feel worried.

我其实经常被问到这个问题。

I get this question a lot actually.

我可以用分散注意力的方式来停止担心吗？

Can I use distraction to help me stop worrying?

所以如果我注意到自己在担心，可以看电视吗？

So if I notice I'm worrying, can I watch TV?

如果我注意到自己在担心，可以看YouTube吗？

If I notice I'm worrying, can I look at YouTube?

对吧？

Right?

一般来说，分散注意力并不是一个长期有效的解决方案。

In general, distraction is not a helpful long term solution.

例如，如果你白天开始担心，然后不断拿起手机来逃避这些担忧，这种使用手机的行为会干扰你践行价值观、与人互动或完成工作的能力。

So for example, if you start worrying during the day and you constantly turn your phone to avoid your worries, that phone usage, that distraction is gonna interfere with your ability to live your values, to engage with the people, or to do your work.

而且这也会被你的大脑认定为任务。

And it's also assigned to your brain.

这是一种回避形式，短期内能给你一些缓解，但会向你的大脑传递信息：这个担忧的想法很重要，于是你的大脑会让它变得更响亮。

It's a form of avoidance right here, which gives you some relief in the short term, but it tells your brain that that thought is that worry thought is important, and your brain is gonna make it louder.

从长远来看，分心会助长担忧和回避，让你的生活变得缺乏意义和活力。

Distraction feeds worrying and avoidance in the long run, and it makes your life less meaningful and less vibrant.

然而，在短期的训练阶段，你可以结合定时担忧，有限度地使用分心来训练你的大脑。

However, in a short term training period, you can use limited distraction paired with scheduled worry to train your brain.

例如，如果你在试图入睡时难以控制担忧，听一本略显枯燥的有声书，可能会把你的注意力从担忧中转移开，同时你可以对自己说：‘我明天六点再想这个问题。’

So for example, if you're struggling to set boundaries on your worries when you're trying to fall asleep, listening to a moderately boring audiobook might redirect your brain away from worrying, and you can say, I will think about that tomorrow at six.

但这其实是个很微妙的界限，对吧？

Now this really is a fine line, right?

分心不是一种好的长期策略，但如果你把它和定时担忧结合使用，短期内可以帮助打破担忧的习惯。

Distraction is not a good long term strategy, but you can use it to break the worry habit in the short term if you pair it with scheduled worry.

这里真正有帮助的长期技能是正念。

The long term skill that will be helpful here is mindfulness.

这是控制注意力的能力，但我们将在下一个视频中讨论这一点。

This is the ability to control your attention, but we're gonna talk about that in the next video.

所以，通过练习有计划的担忧技巧，你可以期待以下效果。

So here's what you can expect from practicing the skill of scheduled worry.

你会花更少的时间担忧。

You are going to spend less time worrying.

你的大部分担忧会集中在一起，从而让你一整天的大部分时间都能摆脱担忧，去做其他事情。

The majority of your worrying will happen at once, leaving you much more of your day to not be worrying and doing something else.

此外，通过有意识地担忧，你可能能够解决一些问题，而有目的地担忧会减少慢性焦虑和压力。

Also, by being intentional about your worrying, you might be able to solve some problems, and worrying on purpose will decrease chronic anxiety and stress.

你的身体非常适应短期压力。

Your body is really well adapted to short term stress.

在短时间内感到焦虑或紧张是没有关系的。

It's okay to get anxious or worked up in short bursts.

有害的是慢性压力。

It's the chronic stress that's harmful.

所以，通过把所有的担忧集中在一起，你给了身体一整天放松和自我调节的机会。

So by putting in all your worrying at once, you give your body a chance to relax and regulate throughout the day.

好的。

Okay.

所以，请为未来三周每天安排一个固定的时间和地点来担忧。

So go ahead and schedule a time and place to worry every day for three weeks.

回来观看这个视频，告诉我效果如何，你的焦虑减轻了多少。

Come back to this video and tell me how it went and how much your anxiety decreased.

我非常期待你能学会为担忧设定界限，并变得更健康。

I'm so excited for you to learn how to set boundaries on your worrying and to get healthier.

感谢观看，保重。

Thanks for watching, take care.

我希望你喜欢这一集，并找到一些可以融入日常生活的做法，让生活变得更好一点。

I hope you enjoyed this episode and found something you can add to your daily routine that makes your life a little bit better.

如果你想了解更多关于如何处理艰难情绪、改变大脑、建立更好关系，或支持患有精神疾病的人，可以访问我的课程网站 therapyinanutshell.com。

If you want to learn more about topics like how to process tough emotions, how to change your brain, how to build better relationships, or support someone you know with a mental illness, then check out my classes at therapyinanutshell.com.

如果你觉得这些播客对你有帮助，请留下评分，以便其他人更容易找到这些内容。

And if you feel like these podcasts have been a benefit to you, please leave a rating so others can more easily find this content.

非常感谢，祝你今天愉快。

Thank you so much, and have a great day.