First You're Weird, Then You're the Blueprint

你好，欢迎来到或欢迎回到尝试这个护理。

Hello, and welcome to or welcome back to trying this care.

如果你是新来的，我叫阿什利，我每周一都会上传视频。

If you're new here, my name is Ashley, and I upload every single Monday.

过去两周真的太疯狂了。

The past two weeks has been actually so insane.

你已经从上周的视频中知道，我去了纽约的Spotify Studios，和米凯拉·杰伊一起录音，这本身就已经太疯狂了。

You already know from last week's episode that I went to Spotify Studios in New York to record with Mikaela Jay, which in itself is so insane.

然后我回来的第二天，乔什和我正在吃午饭，我们突然决定，你知道吗？

And then the day after I got back, Josh and I were at lunch, and we just randomly decided, you know what?

我们可能该再养一只狗了。

We should probably get a third dog.

你知道，现在有太多事情在发生。

You know, there's so many things going on right now.

我们今年要结婚了。

We're getting married this year.

但话说回来，养第三只狗是个好主意。

But, hey, getting a third dog would be a great idea.

剧透一下，我们真的养了一只。

Spoiler, we did get one.

所以，一开始我们领养了一只救助犬。

So, basically, it started off with one rescue.

他叫Sebi。

His name's Sebi.

我想我们是2019年领养他的。

We got him back in 2019, I believe.

几年后，Josh在Petfinder上随意浏览时，发现了一只和Sebi长得一模一样的狗。

And then a couple years later, Josh was randomly scrolling on Petfinder, and he found a dog that looked just like Sebi.

我们觉得这太搞笑了，因为以前从没见过长得这么像他的狗。

And we thought it was just so funny because we had never seen a dog that looked like him before.

于是我们领养了Isabella，从此就变成了一个笑话：我们要收集所有长得像Sebi和Isabella的狗。

So then we got Isabella, and it it just became this joke of, like, we're going to collect all the dogs that look like Sebi and Isabella.

所以那个星期六早上，我从纽约回来的第二天，乔什又在Petfinder上刷着，我真的很感激他这么做，因为能拥有这只可爱的小狗，我感到非常幸福。

So then that Saturday morning, the day after I got back from New York, Josh was again scrolling through Pet Finder, which I'm so grateful that he was because I'm so happy that we have this beautiful little puppy.

但生活一直非常混乱忙碌，我们在筹备婚礼、规划预算，这时候再养第三只狗，尤其是九周大的小狗，可能并不是最好的决定。

But life has been very crazy and hectic, and we're wedding planning, we're budgeting, and getting a third dog probably wasn't the best idea, especially a nine week old puppy.

他本不该在Petfinder上到处看的，但他真的这么做了，我很高兴他这样，因为那天早上，他刷着刷着就把我叫醒了。

He has no business looking up on Pet Finder, but really happy he did because that morning, he was scrolling, and he woke me up.

他对我说：‘你看这只狗。’

He was like, look at this dog.

它看起来和伊莎贝拉一模一样。

It looks just like Isabella.

于是我们去吃午饭，来回讨论要不要再养一只狗。

And so we went to lunch, we went back and forth on whether or not we should get another dog.

但最终，我们决定：不如先提交一份申请？

But, ultimately, we decided, what if we just put in an application?

如果他们接受了，那就是命中注定。

And if they accept it, then it's meant to be.

那天晚上晚些时候，我们收到了天气警报，说一场暴风雪即将来临，我们顿时惊呼：天哪。

And then later that night, we got a weather alert saying a blizzard is coming, and we're like, oh my god.

这一定是个征兆，因为她的名字就叫Blizzard（暴风雪）。

That has to be a sign because her name is Blizzard.

然后他正在做填字游戏，其中一条线索是‘意外的宠物收养’。

And then he was doing a crossword puzzle, and the clue was an unexpected pet adoption.

当时发生了太多巧合，都像是在暗示我们一定要收养Blizzard。

So there was just so many things happening that were like, it's a sign we have to get Blizzard.

我们保留了她的名字，因为这感觉非常贴切——康涅狄格州正下着疯狂的大雪。

And we kept her name because it just felt very fitting because it's been snowing like crazy in Connecticut.

这是多年来我们见过的最大雪量。

This is the most snow we've gotten in so many years.

所以，话虽如此，养一只小狗真的不容易。

So with all that being said, it's been a lot having a puppy.

她才九周大。

She's only nine weeks old.

而且，不幸的是，我们的狗还没怎么接受她，我想这很正常。

And, unfortunately, our dogs aren't really warming up to her quite yet, which I guess is normal.

我想年长的狗并不总是会自然地喜欢小狗。

I guess older dogs don't always naturally love a puppy.

我明白。

I get it.

她长着像鲨鱼一样的牙齿。

She has, like, shark teeth.

如果我是狗，我也不想靠近她。

I wouldn't wanna be near her either if I was a dog.

所以这一切真的挺累人的。

So it's been a lot.

这就像养了一个新生儿，但这个孩子是食人鱼，还总想咬你，但她真的很好。

It's like having a newborn that's a piranha and wants to bite you, but she is so good.

她基本上能一整夜都睡觉。

She basically sleeps through the night.

她几乎已经能自己上厕所了。

She's almost potty trained.

她差不多每三个小时就小睡一会儿。

She naps, like, every three hours.

现在她正在小睡。

Right now, she's napping.

这时候我就能做点工作，录播客了，除了爱咬人之外，她简直是个完美的小宝贝。

And that's when I'm able to, you know, do work and record the podcast, but she's been a perfect little nugget besides the biting.

她据说是边境牧羊犬和大白熊犬的混血。

She is supposedly a border collie Pyrenees mix.

如果真是这样，她会长得特别大，但他们之前对Sebi和Izzy的品种判断也不准。

If that's true, she's gonna be massive, but they weren't correct about Sebi or Izzy.

所以我们打算给她做个基因检测，看看她到底是什么品种。

So we're just gonna get her tested to see what breed she actually is.

但最近生活太混乱了，我还在为上周去纽约和Mikaela一起录音的事兴奋不已。

But life's been crazy, and I'm still kind of on a high from last week going to New York and recording with Mikaela.

这让我想到了今天这一集的主题。

And that kind of leads me to today's episode topic.

如果2021年的我知道，我会做现在做的事情，会坐下来和那个真正激励我开始做播客的人交谈——那个我每个星期五都听的人、那个一直鼓励我追求梦想的人，我根本不会相信。

If 2021 me knew that I'd be doing what I'm doing now and I would be sitting down and talking with the person who really inspired me to start podcasting, the person who I listen to every single Friday, the voice that was encouraging me to go after what I wanted, I wouldn't believe it.

我会激动得不得了。

I would be so excited.

我会完全无视来自家乡那些人对我的嘲笑，无视他们说我辞职发疯了的言论。

I would have just completely disregarded all of the noise that I got from people around me in my hometown making fun of me, people saying that I'm crazy for quitting my job.

我会完全准备好迎接我现在所过的生活。

I would have just been so ready for the life that I'm living now.

本集由Betterhelp赞助。

This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp.

本月适逢国际妇女节，这是向全球女性的力量、韧性与影响力致敬的机会。

This month includes International Women's Day, a chance to recognize the strength, resilience, and impact of women everywhere.

我们生命中的女性承担了太多。

The women in our lives carry so much.

她们在工作中是领导者，在家中是照顾者，同时还是朋友的支持者、伴侣、女儿和导师，一个人同时承担着所有角色。

They're leaders at work, caregivers at home, support of friends, partners, daughters, mentors, simultaneously doing it all at once.

但她们自身的福祉却很容易被排在最后。

But it's easy for their own well-being to fall to the bottom of the list.

我们女性值得获得支持，有一个可以谈论我们所承受的压力、外界对我们的期望以及我们正在平衡的多重角色的地方，在那里我们不必一直为所有人坚强。

Us women deserve support, a place where we could talk about the pressures we carry, the expectations placed on us, and the many roles we're balancing, a place where we don't have to be strong for everyone.

这就是心理咨询能提供帮助的地方。

That's where therapy can help.

心理咨询创造了一个放慢脚步、反思并照顾自己心理和情感健康的空间。

Therapy creates a space to slow down, reflect, and take care of your mental and emotional well-being.

如果你一直在考虑开始心理咨询，Betterhelp 让你迈出第一步变得更加容易。

And if you've been thinking about starting therapy, Betterhelp makes it easier to take that first step.

Betterhelp 是全球最大的在线心理咨询平台，拥有超过三万名咨询师，服务了全球六百多万人。

Betterhelp is the world's largest online therapy platform with over 30,000 therapists and more than 6,000,000 people served globally.

你只需填写一份简短的问卷，说明你的需求，Betterhelp 就会为你匹配符合你需求和偏好的咨询师，并且你可以随时更换咨询师。

You just fill out a short questionnaire about what you're looking for, and Betterhelp works to match you with a therapist who fits your needs and preferences, and you could switch therapists at any time.

所以这个月，在我们庆祝女性及其所承担的一切时，请花点时间关心一下自己或你生命中的女性。

So this month, as we celebrate women and everything they carry, take a moment to check-in with yourself or with the women in your life.

你的情绪健康很重要。

Your emotional well-being matters.

通过心理咨询找到支持，让自己更轻松。

Find support and feel lighter in therapy.

立即注册，在 betterhelp.com/tntc 享受10%折扣。

Sign up and get 10% off at betterhelp.com/tntc.

网址是 better,h.com/tntc。

That's better,h.com/tntc.

在开始做任何事情时，无论是涉足社交媒体、走非传统道路、创业，还是做别人不理解的事情，都会感到不适，而且很难摆脱他人的批评。

In the beginning of doing anything, whether it's pursuing social media or going down an unconventional route or starting a business or just doing things that people don't understand is uncomfortable, and it's really hard to shake the criticism that you get.

当你没有随大流，做了一些与常态略有不同的事情时，人们总喜欢取笑你。

People love to make fun of you when you're not following the crowd and when you're doing something a little different than the norm.

尤其是当你所做的事情非常公开，比如在社交媒体上，人们就会说你‘尴尬’。

Especially when what you're doing is so public like social media, people want to call you cringe.

他们想说你丢人。

They wanna call you embarrassing.

他们想说你太拼命。

They wanna call you a try hard.

但关键是，他们只会在这之前这样叫你，直到你成功为止。

But the thing is, they only call you those things until you're successful.

而当你取得成功时，他们会问你是怎么做到的。

And then when they see the success, they ask you how you did it.

你可能是一个正努力在社交媒体上获得关注的人。

You might be someone who's trying really hard to get into social media and grow a following.

所以当你发布一个TikTok视频时，你希望它能火起来，但它只获得了五个赞。

And so when you post a TikTok, you're hoping they take off, but they only get five likes.

或者你刚创业，非常希望身边的人支持你，但每当你分享时，却一片寂静。

Or maybe you just started a business and you really want people around you to support you, but whenever you post about it, it's crickets.

或者你正试图进入模特行业，当你发布照片时，朋友们私下都特别支持，但公开场合却从不评论。

Or maybe you're trying to get into modeling, and when you post your photos, all of your friends are super supportive behind the scenes, but then publicly, they never comment on the photos.

他们不喜欢这些。

They don't like them.

他们不会分享这些。

They don't share them.

这真的让人很失望，让你开始质疑自己在做什么。

And it's just very disappointing, and it makes you question what you're doing.

当没有成功迹象的时候，人们很难支持你。

People have a really hard time supporting you when there's no evidence of success.

人们往往只有在看到成功证据时才会鼓掌，但如果没有坚持，就不可能有证据或成功。

People tend to only clap once there's proof of success, but there is no proof or there is no success without persistence.

这就是我今天这一集想提醒大家的。

And that's what I want today's episode to be a reminder of.

在成功之前，这很丢脸；成功之后，就不算了。

It's embarrassing until it's not.

人们会说你怪异。

People are going to call you weird.

人们会说你很尴尬，但总有一天，你会成为别人的榜样。

People are going to call you cringe, and then one day, you become the blueprint.

我真希望在刚开始做社交媒体时，或者更早些——中学和高中时期，当我极度害怕被评判、害怕不被他人喜欢时，就能明白这一点。

One thing that I wish I understood at the beginning of my social media journey or honestly earlier on in life in middle school and high school when I was just so afraid of being perceived and being disliked by people.

别人对你的不适，其实是他们内心的投射。

People's discomfort with you is a projection of them.

任何看到你努力却嘲笑你的人，都是因为他们自己害怕尝试。

Anyone who sees you trying hard and makes fun of you for it is doing it because they're afraid of trying.

想想高中时那些典型的戏剧社孩子。

Take it back to high school and the stereotypical theater kid.

人们总把那些孩子说成书呆子、怪咖、异类，还喜欢取笑他们。

People make those kids out to be geeks and nerds and weirdos, and people like to make fun of them.

但他们到底在笑什么呢？

But what are they making fun of?

当年轻人早早找到兴趣，并毫不羞愧地追求它，勇敢展示自己，努力付出，并在众人面前表演时，笑点到底在哪里？

What is the punchline when it comes to young people finding an interest early in life and pursuing it shamelessly, putting themselves out there and working really hard and performing in front of other people.

这可能是你所能做的最可怕的事情之一，尤其是在同龄人面前表演。

That's one of the scariest things that you can do, especially performing in front of, you know, your peers.

那些嘲笑登上舞台做自己热爱之事的人，并不是因为他们的行为可笑。

Anyone who's making fun of someone getting on stage and doing what they love aren't making fun of them because what they're doing embarrassing.

表演、背诵剧本、团队合作、为他人带来娱乐，这些都没有什么可羞耻的。

There's nothing embarrassing about performing and learning a script and acting as a team and entertaining other people.

我们都为女演员和男演员鼓掌，因为他们已经成功了。

We all applaud actresses and actors because, of course, they've already made it.

他们很成功。

They're successful.

这感觉像是完全不同的赛场。

It feels like a different playing field.

但这些人嘲笑同龄人，是因为他们知道，如果自己去尝试同样的事，会感到尴尬。

But these people are making fun of their peers because they know that if they were to try to do what they're doing, they would be embarrassed.

他们会因为展现自己努力的过程而感到尴尬。

They would be embarrassed to show themselves trying.

他们会上台却失败，感到羞愧。

They would be embarrassed to get up on that stage and fail.

因此，他们不去 applaud 或鼓励别人，反而试图贬低他人，因为看到别人做他们自己永远不敢做的事，让他们感到不安。

So instead of applauding others and encouraging others, they try to bring them down because it makes them uncomfortable that they're doing something that they know they could never do.

你的行为让别人感到不适，他们试图让你显得有问题，让你做的事显得不对，但事实并非如此。

Your actions make other people feel uncomfortable, and they try to make it seem like there's something wrong with you and what you're doing is wrong, but that's not the truth.

他们感到不安的原因并不是这个。

That's not why they're uncomfortable.

他们对你的才华和敢于展现自我的勇气感到不安，因为这映照出他们自己恰恰缺乏这些。

They're uncomfortable with your ability to shine and not be afraid to be seen because it shines a light on the fact that they are.

当人们看到别人拥有他们想要的东西，或正在追求他们想要的东西时，往往会嘲笑、刻薄地对待他人，试图让对方感到渺小。

People tend to make fun of other people and get nasty and try to make others feel small when they see other people either have what they want or are working towards what they want.

他们永远不会站出来承认：我想演戏。

They're never going to come forward and admit, I wanna do theater.

我想在社交媒体上发帖。

I wanna post on social media.

我想做些有创意的事情，因为这会让他们意识到自己真正想要的是什么，但他们却从未行动。

I want to do something creative because that would mean the other people would know what they want, but they aren't doing.

他们不敢直视自己正在回避的潜力，因此感到不安。

They're uncomfortable looking at their potential that they're turning away from.

那些害怕尝试、害怕被看见的人，会被那些无所畏惧的人所映照。

People who are afraid to be seen trying feel exposed by someone who's not afraid.

你愿意展现自我，恰恰凸显了他们对被看见、被评判的恐惧。

Your willingness to be seen highlights their fear of being seen and their fear of being judged.

当他们看到你勇敢地展现自己，追求你真正想做的事时，他们用来安慰自己‘我做不到’的借口就站不住脚了。

When they see you putting yourself out there and going after all the things that you wanna do, it removes the excuses that they fill their head with of why they can't do what they wanna do.

所以你的行动彻底粉碎了他们所有的借口。

So your action annihilates all of their excuses.

你的存在否定了他们不作为的理由。

It invalidates why they're not doing what they wanna do.

假设有人想在社交媒体上发帖。

Let's say that someone wants to post on social media.

这一直是他们长久以来的梦想，但他们一直压抑自己不去做，因为他们告诉自己这不会成功，像我这样的人在这方面不会成功。

That's been a dream of theirs for forever, but they've held themselves back from doing it because they tell themselves that it's not gonna work out, and people like me aren't successful at this.

这太冒险了。

It's too risky.

别人会取笑我。

People are gonna make fun of me.

当他们看到自己认识的人在做这件事且毫不畏惧时，他们脑海中那些‘如果怎样怎样’的假设和自我编织的故事就站不住脚了。

When they see someone they know doing it and not being scared of it, all of the what ifs and the story that they've told themselves in their head doesn't work anymore.

这些理由崩塌了，这让人痛苦。

It falls apart, and that hurts.

这种痛苦是因为它提醒了他们：好吧。

It hurts because it's a reminder of, okay.

所以，并不是因为别人在做并且成功了，这件事就变得不可能。

So it's not that it's impossible because this other person that I know is doing it and it's working for them.

我不去做，是因为我选择不去追求它。

The reason that I'm not doing it is because I'm choosing not to go after it.

当人们开始拿自己和你比较，并觉得自己不如你时，他们就会变得刻薄。

People also get mean when they start comparing themselves to you, and they see themselves as less than.

而你并没有做错任何事。

And you're not doing anything wrong.

你只是在做他们想做的事。

You're just doing something that they want to do.

当你向前迈出一步，做着他们也想做的事时，他们会觉得你是在夺走他们的东西。

When you're taking a step forward and you're doing this thing that they want, that feels like you're taking something away from them.

这甚至不是你在和他们竞争。

And it's not even that you're competing with them.

你甚至不知道自己的行为让他们感到困扰，但你的成功对他们来说却像一种威胁，因为它让他们觉得自己是个失败者。

You don't even know that what you're doing is bothering them, but your success feels like a threat to them because it makes them feel like a failure.

所以，当你觉得自己落后了，或者别人比你强时，一个简单的做法就是试图打压他们，让他们觉得他们所做的事情很丢脸、很尴尬、很愚蠢，或者不会成功。

So an easy thing to do when you feel like you're losing or someone's above you is try to knock them down and make them feel like what they're doing is embarrassing or cringey or stupid or not going to work out.

他们想打压你、阻止你前进，因为你的崛起、成功，以及获得他们渴望的东西，会威胁到他们的自尊。

They're trying to knock you down and stop you in your tracks because the idea of you rising above them and becoming successful and getting this thing that they want threatens their ego.

把你说成很尴尬，比面对自己缺乏行动要容易得多。

It's easier to label you as cringey than confront their own lack of action.

很多人还需要他人的认可才能采取行动。

A lot of people also need the validation of others to be able to make moves.

他们需要知道自己的行为是受欢迎的、容易接受的、时尚的，不会让人难堪，也不会很尴尬。

They need to know that what they're doing is likable, that it's digestible, that it's trendy, that it's not embarrassing, that it's not cringey.

所以当他们看到有人不随大流、不追随潮流、不害怕显得愚蠢或奇怪时，就会攻击他们，并希望让他们知道自己的行为很奇怪、很愚蠢或很错误。

So when they see someone making movement without following the crowd, without following a trend, without this fear of looking stupid or looking weird, they attack them, and they want them to know what they're doing is weird or stupid or wrong.

但讽刺的是，这些人正是这样做的，因为趋势正是这样诞生的。

It's ironic that these people do this though because that's exactly how trends are born.

对吧？

Right?

我们所有人都追随潮流，但潮流的引领者、先锋，却常常被嘲笑和讥讽，而潮流并不是凭空出现的。

We all follow trends, but the person at the head of the trend, the leader, is often ridiculed and made fun of, but trends don't come out of nowhere.

总得有人去创造或推广它。

Someone had to invent it or popularize it.

总得有人冒险尝试新事物，然后别人才会注意到并跟随。

Someone had to take a risk and try something new, and then others caught wind of it and followed.

我想象艾玛·钱伯兰在高中时发布她的视频博客时，一定被人嘲笑过。

I imagine Emma Chamberlain was made fun of when she was in high school and she was posting her vlogs.

肯定有人在她背后议论、取笑她，说：她干嘛这样啊？

I'm sure there were people who talked behind her back and laughed at her and said, why is she doing that?

她觉得会发生什么事呢？

What is what does she think is gonna happen?

她为什么要在车里对着镜头自言自语？

Why is she filming herself in her car talking to her camera?

她以为自己是谁？

Who does she think she is?

而如今，她正是她自己一直以为会成为的那个人。

And now she's exactly who she thought she was.

现在她成了超级明星，为许多网络创作者铺平了道路。

Now she's this megastar who has really paved the way for a lot of online creators.

她是一位时尚偶像。

She's a fashion icon.

她是一位女商人。

She's a businesswoman.

这些有着古怪想法的怪人，只有在成功之前才被看作怪人，之后他们就成了传奇。

These weird people who have these strange ideas are only that way until they are successful, and then they are iconic.

这种现象相当常见，被称为‘高罂粟综合症’。

This is a phenomenon that happens quite a lot, and this is known as Tall Poppy Syndrome.

高罂粟综合症指的是，那些脱颖而出、不随大流、自带魅力、天生才华横溢且不愿融入主流的人，会因为不随波逐流而遭到他人批评、嘲笑和讥讽。

Tall Poppy Syndrome is when people who stand out, who don't follow the crowd, who just have that it factor, who naturally are talented and successful and don't care to fit in, are criticized and mocked and made fun of by others for not doing what everyone else is doing.

这个概念源于田里最高的罂粟花会最先被割掉。

This idea comes from the tallest poppies in a field get cut first.

你比别人更早绽放。

You bloom before everyone else.

你比别人更早崛起。

You rise before everyone else.

但人们非但没有为此鼓励你、庆祝你，反而惩罚你。

But instead of being encouraged for it and celebrated for it, you're penalized.

人们非但不认可和支持你的真实、才华和智慧，以及你擅长的方面，反而打压你，让你觉得你身上有问题。

Instead of people acknowledging and supporting your authenticity, your talent, your intelligence, the things that you excel at, they cut you down and make it seem like there's something wrong with you.

人们往往会打压那些让他们感到渺小的事物和人。

People tend to cut down the things and the people that make them feel small.

但当人们嘲笑的东西变得流行时，它就得到了认可，变得成功，那时社会态度就会反转。

But when the thing that people ridicule becomes popular, it becomes validated, it becomes successful, that's when things flip socially.

起初，你的创新威胁到了他人的舒适感。

At first, your innovation threatens other people's comfort.

它让人感到不舒服，然后某一天情况发生了转变，你拓展了人们对可能性的认知。

It makes people feel weird, and then something switches, and you expand what people think's possible.

人们一开始会问：你为什么要这么做？

It goes from, why are you doing this?

你太丢人了。

You're so embarrassing.

你真奇怪。

You're so weird.

天哪。

Oh my god.

从‘你真奇怪’到‘天哪’。

To, oh my god.

你太了不起了。

You're so incredible.

你是怎么做到的？

How did you do this?

再多说点。

Tell me more.

这就是创新的循环。

And that is just the cycle of being innovative.

这就是走在时代前列、超前于时代的感觉。

That is what it's like to be early, to be ahead of your time.

首先，你做的事情会显得奇怪或尴尬，然后它成功了，接着被模仿，最后变得经典。

First, what you're doing is weird or cringey, then it works, then it's copied, then it's iconic.

本集由IQBAR赞助播出，这是我们独家的零食、补水和咖啡赞助商。

This episode is brought to you by IQBAR, our exclusive snack, hydration, and coffee sponsor.

IQBAR蛋白棒、IQMX补水粉和IQJoe蘑菇咖啡是你赢得一天所需的美味、低糖、滋养大脑和身体的能量来源。

IQBAR protein bars, IQMX hydration mixes, and IQJoe mushroom coffees are the delicious low sugar brain and body fuel you need to win your day.

我一直在尝试IQBAR终极组合装，这真的是尝试他们所有产品的最简单方式。

I've been trying the IQBAR ultimate sampler pack, and it's honestly the easiest way to try everything they make.

你将获得九根IQBAR蛋白棒、八条IQMX补水粉和四条IQJO蘑菇咖啡粉，方便你找出自己最喜欢的口味。

You get nine IQBARs, eight IQMX hydration sticks, and four IQJO mushroom coffee sticks, so you can figure out your favorites.

我特别喜欢的一点是，所有IQBAR产品都经过清洁标签认证，完全不含麸质、乳制品、大豆、转基因成分和人工添加剂。

One thing that I really like is that all IQBAR products are clean label certified and completely free from gluten, dairy, soy, GMOs, and artificial ingredients.

所有产品都使用纯净成分制成，有助于提升体能和专注力，比如镁和狮子鬃毛菌。

Everything's made with clean ingredients that support both physical energy and mental focus like magnesium and lion's mane.

当我需要快速补充能量或去健身房前，IQBAR蛋白棒都非常棒。

The IQBAR protein bars are great when I need a quick snack or before I go to the gym.

它们富含植物蛋白，高纤维，且不含添加糖，这种组合很难找到。

They're packed with plant protein, high in fiber, and have no sugar added, which is hard to find.

现在，IQBAR 正为我们的特别播客听众提供所有 IQBAR 产品 20% 的折扣，包括终极组合装，并包邮。

And right now, IQBAR is offering our special podcast listeners 20% off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack plus free shipping.

要获取 20% 折扣，请发送 TTC 到 64000。

To get your 20% off, text TTC to 64000.

发送 TTC 到 64000。

Text TTC to 64000.

就是发送 TTC 到 64000。

That's TTC to 64000.

可能会产生短信和数据费用。

Message and data rates may apply.

详情请见条款。

See terms for details.

一开始领先一步或以非传统方式做事，看起来就像是在犯错。

Being early or doing things unconventionally at first is going to look like being wrong.

总会有人质疑你、议论你、取笑你。

There's going to be people who question you, who talk about you, who make fun of you.

你甚至可能被孤立。

You might even be isolated.

但别人一开始不理解，并不意味着他们最终也不会理解。

But just because people don't get it at first doesn't mean they're not going to get there eventually.

每一个主流趋势都曾是小众、古怪或愚蠢的。

Every mainstream trend was once niche or weird or stupid.

每一个十亿美元的企业都曾被人嘲笑或质疑。

Every billion dollar business was once laughed at or questioned.

数据指标不应当成为你自我价值的验证，也不该决定你是否继续追求自己想要的东西。

Metrics should not validate you or determine whether you keep pursuing what you want.

如果你任由它们左右，你永远都不会成功，因为你会在时机成熟前就放弃。

If you let them, you're never going to be successful because you'll quit before it's your time.

现在你的视频只有五个赞，并不意味着你发到第二百次时，它不会收获数百万的观看。

Just because you only get five likes now on a video doesn't mean that it won't end up translating to millions after the two hundredth time you post.

成长和认可需要时间。

Growth and admiration takes time.

建立成功需要时间。

Building success takes time.

你的自信应该在获得认可之前就存在。

Your confidence in your work needs to exist before validation.

否则，它永远不会到来。

Otherwise, it will never come.

即使你的工作没有以你期望的方式得到认可——无论是有人批评你，还是人们还没注意到你——这并不意味着你没有在积累。

Just because your work isn't being acknowledged in the way that you would like, whether that's people criticizing you or people just not seeing you yet, doesn't mean that you aren't building.

如果你正在为此努力，投入时间和精力去做那些你想充实生活的事情，那么你就在朝着正确的方向前进。

If you are working at it, if you're putting in time and effort into things that you want to fill your life with, then you are heading in the right direction.

你走在正确的道路上。

You are on the right path.

即使没有即时的满足，也不意味着未来不会带来快乐。

Just because there is no instant gratification does not mean that pleasure is never going to come in the future.

我知道这一点，因为我亲身经历过。

And I know that because I've lived it.

我是在2022年1月辞职后，开始试着不再在意的。

I started trying not to care at the January 2022 after I quit my job.

从一月到八月，这对我来说仅仅是一个爱好。

And from January until August, this was solely a hobby for me.

这只是一个让我把想法转化为有生产力、有创造力事物的地方，一种表达我感受的方式，同时也希望能与他人建立联系，让其他人感到不那么孤单。

This was just a place for me to put my thoughts into something productive, something creative, a way for me to release how I felt, but also connect with other people and hopefully make other people feel less alone.

但在上半年，如果一个月能有400次播放，我就已经算幸运了。

But for the first half of the year, I was lucky if I got 400 listens on an episode in, like, a month.

听我播客的人只有那些关注我社交媒体的人——人数不多，或者是我家乡的人，我猜他们只是好奇，想听听我在说什么，或者在朋友面前拿我开玩笑。

The only people who were listening to my podcast were people who followed me on social media, which wasn't a lot, or people in my hometown that I imagine were just nosy or wanted to know what I was talking about or were making fun of me with their friends.

我热爱播客。

I love podcasting.

它为我打开了许多大门。

It's opened so many doors for me.

我认为，能够坦率地谈论我的情绪、心理健康以及我经历过的种种，已经治愈了我很多。

I think it has healed so much in me just being able to speak openly about my emotions, my mental health, things that I've gone through.

但当你独自一人做这件事时，可能会非常耗时。

But when you're doing it solo, it can be very time consuming.

那时，我在支付账单方面遇到了困难。

And at that time, I was struggling with being able to pay my bills.

我一直在做Instacart。

I was doing Instacart.

我还在做Depop。

I was doing Depop.

我还在TikTok上为歌曲做推广，每条大概50美元。

I was doing song promos on TikTok for, like, $50.

为了多赚点钱，我最终回到了之前工作的那家公司参加暑期课程。

I ended up going back to summer school at the job I was working previously just to make a little more money.

然后到了七月，我在犹豫是否该继续做这个播客，因为它实在太耗时间了。

And then that July, I was going back and forth on whether I should continue doing the podcast because it was very time consuming.

我当时在考虑是否要回到以前的工作，或者找另一份全职工作，因为我实在不知道该怎么解决经济问题。

I was considering going back to my old job or finding another full time job because I didn't know how I was going to do this financially.

我也觉得自己很傻、很不负责任，没有做一份正经的工作，这让我压力很大。

I also just thought that I was like being stupid or careless and not working a big girl job, which really stressed me out.

我感觉自己在倒退。

I felt like I was just regressing.

我不确定。

I don't know.

2022年7月，我差不多要崩溃了。

I was kind of losing it in July 2022.

但我知道我的播客在帮助一些人，我不希望就此结束。

But I knew that my podcast was helping some people, and I didn't want to end it.

但我又想，如果这就是结局——没人真正关注，我连生活都难以为继，还觉得自己是个失败者，那也许我真的不该继续了。

But I thought if this is what it's going to be where it's not really reaching anyone and I am unable to make my ends meet and I kind of feel like a failure, maybe I shouldn't continue doing this.

于是，我向生命中真正信任的人——我的朋友们，还有乔什——倾诉了我当时的感受。

So I ended up speaking about how I was feeling to some people that I really trusted in my life, my friends, Josh.

我是说，特别是他。

I mean, him in particular.

在整个开始《Try Not To Care》的过程中，他都非常有帮助且充满支持。

He was really helpful and so supportive throughout the entire process of starting Try Not To Care.

从一开始，他就告诉我：你得继续下去，因为你做的东西真的很好，我这么说不是因为我是你的伴侣。

From the beginning, he would just tell me, you need to keep going because what you're doing is actually really good, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your partner.

你的节目真的很棒。

Your episodes are really good.

他总是提醒我，每个成功的播客都是从零开始，慢慢成长的。

And he would just remind me that every good podcast starts at nothing and has to grow.

这让我保持清醒，帮助我坚持每周一都更新。

And that really kept me grounded and helped me continue posting every single Monday.

我一向宣扬，如果你放弃了，就永远不知道成功是什么样子，但听到别人这么说，听到有人告诉我只要不放弃就一定会好起来，真的帮我走出了自我怀疑，让我重新记起自己为什么要做这件事，为什么最初要创办《Try Not To Care》。

I mean, I've always preached that you won't know success if you quit, but hearing that from someone else, hearing someone else say that it's going to work out unless you quit right now really helped me get out of my head and remind me why I was doing what I was doing, why I started TriNet to care in the first place.

所以在七月，或者可能是八月左右，我决定在TikTok上发布一个视频来推广我的播客。

So at the July or maybe it was the August, around that time, I decided to post a video on TikTok promoting my podcast.

但我从来没有真正这么做过。

And I never really did that.

我以前只是发布一些剧集的音频片段，然后配上一些Vlog，但从没直接发过视频说：如果你正在为心理健康挣扎，这里有一个你可以听的播客。

I used to just post audio clips of episodes and, like, make vlogs to it, but I never just posted a video being like, if you're struggling with your mental health, here's a podcast to listen to.

或者，如果你要去散步放松，这里有一些我推荐的剧集。

Or if you're going on a hot girl walk, here are some episodes I recommend.

但我决定试一试，结果一下子就火了。

But I thought I'd give it a try, and it just took off.

那个视频爆红了。

That video blew the heck up.

在短短一两周内，我的听众从几百人飙升至成为Spotify和Apple上综合播客排行榜第一、教育类播客第一、自我提升类播客第一。

And I went from having a couple 100 people listening to me within, I think, like, a week or two, becoming number one on Spotify and Apple for just, like, overall podcast, number one for educational podcast, number one for self improvement podcast.

到了年底，从八月到十二月，我的播客下载量达到了一百万次。

And by the end of the year, from August to December, I reached 1,000,000 downloads.

这种程度的成功，我以前从未敢想象会发生在自己身上。

Having that type of success was something I never imagined for myself ever.

这既是过去最不可思议的经历，也是我最引以为豪的成就之一。

It was and still is the most surreal experience and one of my most proud achievements.

想到如果在那几周前，我因为得不到想要的认同而决定停止录制播客，就会错失这个时刻，我感到非常害怕。

And it's so scary to think that I would have taken that moment away from me if a couple weeks before that, I decided to stop recording the podcast because I wasn't getting the validation I was seeking.

这给我上了非常重要的一课。

That was such a huge lesson for me.

你知道，现在没有人看到你，并不意味着将来也不会看到。

You know, just because people don't see you right now doesn't mean they're not going to.

现在没有人理解你，并不意味着将来也不会理解。

Just because people don't understand you right now doesn't mean they're not going to.

现在还没有百万人关注你，并不意味着你永远不会拥有。

Just because you don't have a million eyes on you right now doesn't mean that you're not going to.

现在还没有成千上万的人告诉你，你所做的一切多么了不起、多么帮助了他们，并不意味着你的工作不是开创性的。

Just because you don't have thousands of people telling you that what you're doing is incredible and that you're helping them doesn't mean that what you're doing isn't groundbreaking.

在一月到八月之间，真正改变的只是关注我的人多了起来。

The only thing that really changed between January and August was the amount of eyes on me.

所有来听我播客的人，都会回头去听旧的集数，尤其是我还没人听时的第一集。

All the people coming to listen to my podcast were going back and listening to old episodes, listening to the first episode when I had no one listening.

但这些人告诉我，哇。

But these people are telling me, wow.

这真是个很棒的播客。

This is a really good podcast.

哇。

Wow.

你真的帮到我了。

You really helped me.

他们给了我非常积极的反馈。

And they were giving me this really good feedback.

这让我意识到，那些最初的几集依然很棒，内容很好，而且一直都会是这样。

So that tells me that those first couple episodes were still good, that it was good content, and it was still going to be that.

即使没有成千上万的人收听那些集数，它们依然会是有帮助、有启发性的。

It was still going to be helpful and inspirational with or without thousands of people listening to those episodes.

我家乡有些人嘲笑我的播客，我知道这件事，是因为有人告诉我，他们要么听过，要么听说过，不管怎样。

There were people from my hometown who made fun of my podcast, and I know this because I was told from people who either heard it or knew about it, whatever.

但有一些我家乡的人嘲笑我的播客，觉得我把私人生活公之于众很丢脸。

But there were people from my hometown who made fun of my podcast, who thought it was embarrassing that I was blasting my private life on the Internet.

但突然之间，当我发布的帖子超越了像安德鲁·塔特这样的蠢人，或者和艾玛·钱伯兰、亚历克斯·库珀这些知名播客并列时，

But all of a sudden, all of a sudden, when I'm posting stories surpassing dumbass people like Andrew Tate or being shown next to people like Emma Chamberlain or Alex Cooper, all these big name podcasts.

突然间，这就不丢脸了。

All of a sudden, it's no longer embarrassing.

他们开始给我发私信说：天哪。

And they're in my DM saying, oh my god.

天哪。

Oh my god.

这太酷了。

This is so cool.

这太不可思议了。

This is so incredible.

恭喜你。

Congratulations.

我为你感到骄傲。

I'm so proud of you.

是的。

Mhmm.

什么都没变，只是我成功了。

Nothing changed except my success.

以前我觉得我让你觉得尴尬。

Before, I was cringe to you.

但现在因为其他人觉得我很好，觉得我值得听，你也这么想了。

But now because other people think that I'm good and that I'm worth listening to, you think so too.

这难道不有趣吗？

Isn't that funny how that works?

发社交媒体也是同样的道理。

The same thing with posting on social media.

我高中时有两个女孩，她们就是不喜欢我，这种事就是，当别人不喜欢你时，她们会因为共同讨厌你而走得更近。

There were these two girls who I went to high school with who just did not like me, and it's one of those things where when people don't like you, they bond over not liking you.

这其实挺可爱的。

It's really cute.

后来我发现她们在刷我的TikTok，查看我的个人主页，嘲笑我，说我太用力了、太丢人了，听到这些从来都不是什么好事。

And I found out they were scrolling through my TikTok, looking at my profile, making fun of me, and saying that I was trying too hard, I'm so embarrassing, which never feels good to hear.

但当你还没有成功时，这种伤害会更严重，你心里已经觉得自己很尴尬，开始怀疑自己做的事到底好不好。

But it hurts more when you don't have success yet, and you're already kind of in your head thinking that you're cringe and you're questioning whether or not what you're doing is good.

然后这些人的评价又进一步证实了你的想法——你做的事真的很尴尬、不够好。

And then you're just reaffirmed by these people that what you're doing is cringey, and it isn't good.

幸运的是，我最好的朋友之一肖娜，从中学起就一直热衷于发布内容。

Thankfully, one of my best friend, Shauna, who I've been friends with literally since middle school, has always really been into posting content.

比如在中学时，我们曾一起拍恐怖短片和音乐视频，她一直在TikTok上疯狂发帖。

Like, back in middle school, we would make horror movies together and music videos, and she was just posting crazy on TikTok.

看到她如此无畏又真诚地发布内容，真的激励了我继续发帖。

And seeing her do it so shamelessly and authentically really encouraged me to keep posting.

因为当我看到她这么做时，我觉得这并不丢人。

Because when I saw her doing it, I didn't think it was embarrassing.

我觉得这很鼓舞人心，是我也想做的事情。

I thought it was inspirational, and it was something that I wanted to do.

所以这就像在一段不确定的旅程中有人牵着你的手。

So it was kind of like having someone's hand to hold through an uncertain process.

但我觉得有趣的是，那些曾经嘲笑我的女孩，现在也在社交媒体上发帖，试图增加粉丝。

But one of the things that I find funny is the girls who made fun of me are now posting on social media trying to grow their following.

我可以很刻薄地回击她们，说：天啊。

And I could be mean and give them a taste of their own medicine and be like, oh my god.

你没有粉丝还发帖，真是太丢人了。

You're so embarrassing trying to post on social media with no followers.

你以为自己是谁？

Who do you think you are?

你以为会发生什么？

What do you think is gonna happen?

但说真的。

But come on.

那毫无意义。

There is no point in that.

对吧？

Right?

因为事实是，为对你重要的事情努力从来都不丢人。

Because the truth is it's never embarrassing to try for things that matter to you.

当然，我真希望这些女孩多年前就能明白这一点，不要嘲笑我，不要让我觉得自己渺小，但这就是走在前面的代价。

And obviously, wish that these girls realized that years ago and didn't make fun of me and didn't make me feel small, but that is the cost of being early.

一开始人们不会理解你，但最终他们会跟上。

People aren't going to get you at first, but then they eventually catch up.

最终，那些曾经质疑你或嘲笑你的人，会想要靠近你，想知道你的秘诀。

Eventually, the same people who questioned you or made fun of you are going to want proximity to you, and they're gonna wanna know your secret.

他们会想知道你的独门秘方。

They're gonna wanna know your secret sauce.

他们想知道你是怎么做到的。

They're gonna wanna know how you did it.

他们想更靠近你，因为他们终于看到了你的价值。

They're gonna wanna be closer to you because they finally see your value.

你不想给他们这些，想让他们滚蛋，对那些曾经批评或嘲笑你的人现在却成为你最大支持者感到愤怒或受伤，这完全合理。

And it's totally valid for you to not wanna give them that, to wanna say f off, to be mad or hurt that these people who once criticized you or made fun of you are now your biggest supporters.

我明白。

I get that.

我完全明白，我也经历过。

I totally get that, and I've been there.

但我想让你记住，如果你要成为领导者，你就得接受这种事会发生，因为这就是与众不同的代价。

But I want you to remember that if you're going to be a leader, you need to be comfortable with the idea of this happening because that is the cost of being different.

这就是所谓‘怪异’的代价。

That is the cost of being quote, unquote weird.

我说的‘怪异’，指的是不迎合别人对你的期待，不做周围人都在做的事，不因为妈妈二十多岁就生孩子而你也早早安定下来，不因为朋友都找了‘大女孩’的工作你就也非得照做，不盲目追随别人在追的潮流，因为那根本不是真正的你。

And I say weird in the sense of just not following the expectations that people put on you, not doing what everyone around you is doing, not settling down at a young age because your mom had kids in her twenties, not doing the same job as all of your friends because they're getting big girl jobs, and that's what you're supposed to do, not following trends that everyone else is doing because that's just not who you are.

走一条与众不同的路是孤独的。

It is lonely taking a different route than other people.

看到捷径却依然选择更艰难的道路，因为这才是你真正想要的，这同样是孤独的。

It is lonely to see the easy way, but still take the more difficult way because that way is what you want.

你想要得到你想要的东西。

You wanna get what you want.

回报会更好。

It's a better payoff.

选择成长而非安逸，是不舒服、孤独且令人恐惧的。

It is uncomfortable and lonely and scary to choose growth over comfort.

安逸让你受欢迎，但成长让你成为传奇。

Comfort keeps you liked, but growth makes you legendary.

成长才是让你与众不同的关键。

Growth is what's going to separate you from the rest of the world.

没有哪位传奇人物是按部就班、随大流的。

No one who's an icon did things by the book and followed the crowd.