曾经的习以为常与始终如一 | 2

我们拍了几张照片，就在她床边和沙发上随意摆了些姿势。然后她说，你应该脱掉衣服，这样拍一张裸照。我当时就说，我不确定...我不需要那样的照片。

We took a couple shots of just, like, positioned around her bed and on the couch. And then it was, well, you should get naked. You should take a picture of this naked. And I was like, I don't I don't know. Like, I don't need one like that.

对吧？那种照片我真的不需要。但她一直说会特别酷。于是我就脱了衣服站在那里。那时候我就想，现在已经骑虎难下了。

Right? Like, that's I don't need that one. And she's like, well, it'd be really cool. So I disrobed and just kinda, like, stood there. And at that point, I was like, well, now I feel like I'm so far into this.

我该怎么脱身？

How do I get out of this?

我能脱身吗？这里是《独角兽女孩》，苹果原创播客，由七山制作，我是主持人兼执行制片人查理·韦伯斯特。卧室里站着两个孩子的母亲——当时还在婚姻中的强势女性坎迪斯·里维拉。她的朋友蕾西赤身裸体站在那里，错过了前一天晚上其他妈妈们参加的MOPS（学龄前儿童母亲协会）拍摄活动。

Do I get out of this? This is Unicorn Girl, an Apple original podcast produced by Seven Hills, hosted and executive produced by me, Charlie Webster. In the bedroom, a fierce badass mother of two, Candace Rivera, led at the time as she was still married. Her friend, Lacey, stood naked. She'd missed the photoshoot her friends from mothers of preschoolers, mops, had taken part in the night before.

这本该是一场关于女性赋权的拍摄。

A photoshoot that was supposed to be about empowering women.

坎迪斯就说，那你

Candice was like, well, you

可以直接躺到

can just go lay on

我床上。就躺在我床上，把脚搭在床头板上。于是她从头部往下拍了几张照片。我的脚穿着高跟鞋抵在墙上...她很清楚自己

my bed. Just lay on my bed and put your feet up on the headboard. And so she took a couple photos from the head down. My feet were up on the wall with heels and all the things. She knew what she

在做什么。你这话什么意思？

was doing. What what do you mean?

就是那种指挥式的：你站这里，腿放这里，戴这个，涂这个口红。非常非常强势，非常傲慢。直到后来我与其他队员交谈才知道，她们前一晚也经历了同样的事——完成了一整套闺房写真拍摄。

Just in the way of you go here, put your leg here, put this here, wear this, put this lipstick on. Very, very directive. Very arrogant. It wasn't until later that I talked to other team members who they did the same thing the night before. They had done a full boudoir shoot.

原本的意图是通过这些意志坚强的女性照片向我们MOPS小组展示女性可以很强大。但我们后来从未在MOPS会议上使用过那些照片，无论是头像照还是其他。我觉得她非常清楚自己想要我做什么——穿这套衣服、这样摆姿势、腿放这里。而我完全不知道该如何完成这些要求。这真的很可悲，因为那是我人生中非常脆弱的时期。

So the intention was to take these strong willed women photos to show our mops group that women can be strong. And we never used those photos, the headshots or anything, for any of the mops meetings after that. I feel like she was very comfortable in knowing what she wanted out of me as far as wear this outfit, do it this way, put your legs here. And I don't know for me if I would know how to do any of that. It's just really sad because I was a really vulnerable time of my life.

当时我只是竭尽全力想交个朋友。她

And then I was just doing everything I could to just have a friend. She

根本不容拒绝。

would not take no for an answer.

这是Timber。Timber也曾是MOPS成员，在领导团队中与Candace和Lacy密切合作。Timber是Candace的另一位闺蜜。Candace让整个MOPS小组在前一晚拍摄了与Lacey完全同款的写真，Timber当时也在场。

This is Timber. Timber was also a part of Mops and worked closely with Candace and Lacy on the leadership team. Timber was another of Candace's besties. Candace had made the entire Mops group do the exact same style of photoshoots as Lacey the night before, and Timber was there for it.

我们正准备开启新一季MOPS活动，当时处于筹备阶段，需要在Candace家开大型策划会。当天Candace突然对我说：'我觉得如果今晚给大家拍私房照会很有趣也很解放天性'。我当时的反应是：'你在说什么？这想法从哪冒出来的？'

We were getting ready to start, you know, another season of mops. So we were in all of the planning stages, and so we needed to have a big planning meeting at Candace's house. Candice told me the day of that, you know, she's like, I think it would be so fun and so liberating if we gave everyone the opportunity to do a boudoir photo shoot also tonight. And I was like, what are you talking about? Where is this coming from?

简直莫名其妙

Like, totally out

这个

This of

提议来得太

is coming out of this

离谱

is such

了。我本身并不反对女性表达对身体的自在感或展现性感，私房摄影确实可以是女性自我表达的美丽方式。但这完全不符合当时的情境、场合和我们的既定目标。Candice极力推销这个主意让我非常恼火，我明确表示不喜欢这个提议。

a random idea. I'm not against that per se, you know, like, women expressing their you know, being comfortable in their bodies and expressing their sexuality and that a bourgeois photo shoot can be, like, a really beautiful way for women to do that for themselves. However, entirely inappropriate for the context and the setting and what we were there to do. I was really frustrated because Candice was just pushing it so hard and really trying to sell it to me. And I was like, I don't like it.

我认为这不是个好主意，甚至觉得我们根本不该提这事。但她就是不肯接受拒绝。我最后只好说，好吧，如果你坚持要做，你不能以领导身份命令她们必须参与。因为如果你强制要求，她们会觉得‘要留在这个团体就必须服从’，这绝对不行。

I don't think it's a good idea. I don't think that we should bring it up at all. But she just she would not take no for an answer. I was like, fine. If you're insisting on doing this, you cannot tell them that they have to because you are the leader, and if you are telling them that they have to do something, then they will feel like, oh, well, in order to be a part of this group, I have to do that thing, and that is not okay.

于是她在会议一开始就突然宣布了这件事。那是个工作日晚七点，我们都穿着居家服来开会，本打算轻松规划全年活动。结果最后我们还是照做了。

So she presented to everyone right at the beginning of the meeting. It was just springing it on everyone. It was like 7PM on a weeknight. We're all showing up in comfy clothes so we can sit down and plan out a year of meetings and events. So we did it.

开完会后她们真的拍了照片，在场的人都参与了。但她让所有人进她房间关上门，还拿出内衣让大家穿。那是她...

We did the meeting, and then they did do the photos. Everyone that was there participated. But she had everyone go up in her room with the door shut. She had lingerie that she offered for everyone to wear. Was it her

自己的内衣？

own lingerie?

应该是吧。而且她...

Was it I assume so. Yeah. She's also

她体型和大家差很多。

She's a very different size.

身材也完全不同。对，和我们大多数人都不一样。

She's also not the same body type. No. Or most of us. Yeah.

没错。坎迪斯让每位女士穿她声称是自己的内衣。她身高1米65曲线玲珑，蒂姆伯只有1米58娇小玲珑，而莱西将近1米78身材高挑。

Yeah. Candice had each of the women wear what she said was her own lingerie. Candice is five five with a curvy figure. Timber is five two, and her frame is very petite. While Lacey is tall, about five ten, and has a slim build.

但那些内衣却意外地合身。这让我思考性别如何影响我们对胁迫的认知——当施压者是女性，尤其当你信任崇拜她时，是否更难察觉这种压迫？你们处理过贿赂专题吗？

Yet, the lingerie fits each of the women better than you might expect. It got me thinking about the role gender plays in how we perceive coercion, and if it's harder to recognize when it's done by a woman, especially one that you trust and look up to. Did you do the boodle issue?

处理过，是的。

I did, yeah.

你是自愿的吗？

Did you want to?

我的意思是，不。我感到非常、非常被迫去做这件事。我也不知道那些照片最终会怎样处理。我不确定它们是否会留在她手里。比如，她能拿那些照片做什么？

I mean, no. I felt very, very pressured to do it. I also didn't know what was going to happen to all of those photos. I didn't know if they were going to be in her possession. Like, what could she do with them?

我讨厌这样。我讨厌谈论这件事。我们还知道这些女性许多私密的事情，她们在婚姻中的挣扎、对身材的焦虑、自尊心问题以及性取向。她总想讨论我们的婚姻，频繁打探我们的性生活。比如问‘哪些方面和谐？’

I hate it. I hate talking about it. We also knew so much about these women personally and some of their struggles in their marriage and with their body image and their self esteem and their sexuality. She wanted to talk about our marriages, about our sex lives a lot. And like, what's working?

‘哪些不和谐？’或者‘你们喜欢什么？’酒总是少不了。有几个女性曾直言不讳地讲述自己与酒精的斗争。而坎迪斯会怂恿她们说‘哦，一杯酒又不会伤到你’

What's not working? Or what are you into? Wine was very present. We had a few women who were very vocal about how they had struggled with alcohol. Candace would actually encourage them like, Oh, well, one glass of wine won't hurt you.

‘喝一杯没关系的’。正因为她诱导这么多女性袒露脆弱和隐私，再利用这些弱点操纵所有人参与这种活动，我觉得尤其恶劣——她清楚每个人在身体、性取向或生活相关领域的软肋。我感觉她那时已经...她的行为越来越反常，近乎失控。

One drink won't hurt. So I think because she had gotten so many of the women to share vulnerably and candidly, putting them in a position to manipulate everyone to participate in something like this just felt even worse to me because she knew what everyone's vulnerabilities were with their bodies and their sexuality or maybe difficulties they were having in that area of their life. I felt like she was just beginning, like her her behavior was increasingly erratic and a bit unhinged.

蒂姆伯并非唯一注意到坎迪斯行为异常的人。另一位与她交好的MOPS小组成员帕特里夏也察觉到了。当时帕特里夏正因为丈夫工作调动要离开犹他州，准备告别MOPS。

Timber wasn't the only one who was concerned about Candace's change in behavior. Another member of the mops group who was close to Candace, Patricia, was noticing it too. At that time, Patricia was actually moving across the country for her husband's work, leaving Utah and mops behind.

坎迪斯崩溃了。她对我离开非常伤心。在我们准备启程时，她坚持要看着我和孩子们开车离去。我隐约明白她想要那种我离开时她含泪目送的戏剧性场景。但我不想让搬家这件事给孩子留下心理阴影。

Candace was devastated. She was so sad that I was leaving. As we were ramping up towards leaving, she wanted to be there as we drove away, me and my sons. And I I kind of had a sense I understood she wanted this very emotional scene of me leaving and her crying behind. The experience that I'm gonna create around moving is not going to be a trauma one for my children.

而且她非常抗拒被拒绝——当我告诉她不能在我家门外目送时。我守住了底线，但她不断施压。最终我载着孩子们先行出发，丈夫留下处理搬家事宜。等我走后，她立刻去找我丈夫谈话，故意挑我不在的时机。她把我们友谊中我说过的私密话扭曲编造，编出各种故事，这给我的婚姻和生活造成了相当恶劣的影响。

And then she also did not like being told no, that she couldn't actually watch me drive away from my house. But I held the boundary, but she kept pushing and pushing. So I cut up, load the kids up and my husband stayed behind and the movers were there loading the trucks with all of our stuff and I pulled out to start driving across the country. And she waited until I was gone and went over there and had a conversation with my husband when she knew that I wouldn't be there. And she took a lot of the things that I had said within our friendship and she twisted them and made up things and crafted all sorts of different kinds of stories that actually had a pretty negative impact on my marriage and my life.

如果你听出弦外之音——没错，坎迪斯在勾引帕特里夏的丈夫。他不得不反锁卧室躲避坎迪斯，直到她离开。帕特里夏曾向坎迪斯倾诉婚姻问题，坎迪斯却把这些话扭曲后告诉了她丈夫。这导致帕特里夏婚姻出现严重裂痕，至今仍在修复中。

If you're reading between the lines, yes, Candace was coming on to Patricia's husband. He had to lock himself in his bedroom to escape Candace and wait for her to leave. She told Candace things about her marriage in confidence. Candace took them and told Patricia's husband what she'd said and twisted it. It caused a major rift in Patricia's marriage that is still being repaired to this day.

帕特里夏觉得这件事难以启齿。

Patricia found it very difficult to talk about.

直到那天晚上几小时后，我才知道真相。当时我和孩子们在酒店房间里，他们睡着了，我在浴室里，从丈夫那里得知了整个故事。坎迪斯拿我说过的话添油加醋，编造出不同的版本。因为掺杂了部分事实，听起来可信度很高，好像我真的会说出那些话。他非常愤怒和难过，而她拒绝离开。当我打电话质问她时，我强调的是：你把这些本该限于我们私下友谊的话扭曲成其他内容。她却只是笑着说，哦，我才不会想和他上床呢。

I didn't find out until few hours later that night when I was in a hotel room with my children and they were sleeping and I was in the bathroom and got the full story from my husband. Candace had taken things that I said and crafted different things out of it. So it sounded credible because there was enough truth to it to sound credible that I would say these things. And he was very angry and very upset and she refused to leave. And when I called her to confront her about it and I was focused on the fact that you took these things that should have been within the confines of our friendship in private and you twisted them and said these other things, she just laughed and said, Oh, I wouldn't try to sleep with him.

他太矮了

He's too short for

啊？什么？

me. What?

她毫无歉意。那一刻我就知道永远不会再和这个人来往，后来也确实再没和她说过话

She was not apologetic. I knew at that point I would never interact with this person again, and I never spoke to her again

只能努力消化发生的事情，修复造成的伤害。MOPS的妈妈们开始对坎迪斯产生怀疑。她塑造的完美形象正在瓦解。坎迪斯本人似乎也是如此。她与丈夫帕特里克的离婚闹得越来越难看，她的行为也让蒂姆伯越来越担忧。

and just tried to work through what had happened and heal the damage. The mops women were starting to have doubts about Candace. The perfect image that she portrayed was unraveling. And so too, it seemed, was Candace. Candice's divorce from her husband Patrick was getting messier, and her behavior was getting more and more worrying for Timber.

气氛变得越来越紧张。她的个人生活分崩离析，婚姻也走向破裂。这愈发令人担忧，因为她参加小组活动越来越不规律，而且酗酒更严重，话题也更多涉及性之类的内容。

It was getting more tense. Her personal life was falling apart and her marriage was falling apart. That was becoming increasingly concerning because she was showing up more erratically to the group and it was like more wine, more alcohol, more talk of sex and things like that.

莱西还担心MOPS筹款活动中一笔约300美元的资金，她很难从坎迪斯那里要回来。

Lacey was also concerned about money from a mops fundraiser that she was having a hard time getting from Candace. There was about $300 that was missing.

我们请了福乐鸡

We had Chick fil

他们提供了免费三明治。活动的初衷是让家庭从我们这里购买食物，我们保留收益。我们赚了几百美元，但坎迪斯拿走了钱。作为MOPS小组财务团队成员，我联系她说：嘿，那笔钱该交上来了。

A come in and they brought free sandwiches. And then the purpose is then the families come and buy the food from us and then we keep the proceeds. We made a couple $100 and Candice had taken the money. I was part of the finance team in our mops group. And so I had reached out to her and said, Hey, need that money.

我需要把钱存入账户。那时她开始说她和帕特里克在吵架，她被禁止进屋，而钱在房子里。她一直推脱说会给我，但始终没有兑现。与此同时，在MOPS领导团队中，关于资金的一切也开始崩塌，我开始觉得坎迪斯已不具备领导MOPS的应有能力。

Like, I need to put get it in the account. At that time, she started saying that her and Patrick were fighting and she wasn't allowed in the house and the money was in the house. And I'll get it for you. And she kind of kept putting me off and putting me off. All at the same time in our leadership group with mops and the money, everything kind of started to implode on itself where I started feeling like the capacity in which Candace should lead mops wasn't what it should be.

她的生活因为帕特里克而天翻地覆。她开始说帕特里克打她，还来家里把一切弄得乱七八糟，甚至捶打墙壁。

Her life was getting turned upside down with Patrick. She started saying that Patrick was hitting her and he was coming to the house and making it a mess and punching walls.

坎迪斯把这事告诉了莱西，但廷伯其实亲眼见过他们某次争吵后坎迪斯家的状况。

Candice told that to Lacey, but Timber actually saw Candice's house in the aftermath of one of the arguments.

我和她一起去了她家，那里一片狼藉。有些装饰品被扔在地上摔碎了。厨房抽屉和办公桌抽屉都被倒空，文件散落得到处都是。我是说，有人当时情绪非常激动。她告诉我那次争吵是因为一些文件问题，他指责她偷了他的钱之类的东西，所以办公室和厨房的抽屉才会被翻得底朝天。

I went over to her house with her and it was a mess. There were a few decorations that had been thrown and broken. Kitchen drawers and office desk drawers were dumped out and papers strewn everywhere. I mean, somebody was very upset. She told me that argument was about some paperwork, that he was accusing her of stealing money or something from him, and so that was why, like, the office was ransacked and the drawers in the kitchen.

文件纸张到处都是。

Like, paperwork was just everywhere.

廷伯对在坎迪斯家看到的一切感到难以置信。与此同时，莱西对坎迪斯的忍耐也到了极限。她听说坎迪斯正在对其他女性做她曾对帕特里夏丈夫做的事，这成了压垮骆驼的最后一根稻草。

Timber didn't know what to think about what she'd seen at Candace's house. Meanwhile, Lacey was getting to the end of her tether with Candace. She heard that Candace was doing the same thing that she'd done to Patricia's husband to other women, And that was the final straw.

她与小组里其他女性的丈夫有过一些不恰当的对话，内容涉及这些女性在夫妻生活中应该怎么做。比如，她会跑去对某个丈夫说'你需要在夫妻生活中为你妻子这样做'。当我发现这件事时，我就想：如果她都要插手别人的婚姻了，那她就不适合继续担任领导职务。我去找了教堂的牧师，说：'嘿，我觉得应该考虑让坎迪斯卸任领导职位。我可以接替这个角色。'

There was some conversations that she was having with other people's husbands in the group that was not appropriate of what this other woman should be doing in their sex life. Like, went to a husband and said, you need to do this for your wife in their sex life. When I found that out, that's when I was like, if she's going to other people's husbands, she's not fit to be in the leadership. I went to the pastor of the church and I said, hey, I think we should consider having Candace step down from being a leader. I can take that role.

她因为即将离婚已经焦头烂额了。

She has a lot going on with this divorce pending.

廷伯也去找了牧师。无论如何，他们都要把坎迪斯赶出MOPS（母亲互助会）。

Timber also went to the pastor. One way or another, they were going to get Candace out of mops.

我试图告诉他我没法和她共事。她不适合对这么多女性产生如此大的影响力。她对特蕾莎做的事——之所以能得逞，正是因为她对特蕾莎和我们所有人都进行了精神操控和情感驯化。她正在把人们置于脆弱的境地，这种事还会再次发生。

I tried to tell him that that I can't work with her. She's not fit to be having this much influence over these women. What she did to Tricia, like, was able to do what she did because of how manipulative and grooming she had been to Tricia and to all of us. And she's putting people in these vulnerable positions. It's going to happen again.

但他们的投诉如同石沉大海。

Their complaints fell on deaf ears.

他把这一切归结为，嗯，这只是我们与她之间的个人经历，与教会或拖把无关，而且他并不与所有共事的人交朋友，我应该学会如何与她共事，不必非得和她做朋友。

He chalked it all up to, well, these are just our personal experiences with her, doesn't have anything to do with the church or with mops and that he is not friends with everyone he works with and I should figure out how to work with her, I don't have to be friends with her.

莱西也被告知了同样的话。

Lacey was told the same thing.

牧师说一切都没问题，这让我感到有些不自在，让我处于一个尴尬的境地。几周后，坎迪斯说她申请了对帕特里克的保护令，因为帕特里克用高尔夫球杆打了她。然后她开始缺席会议，要么迟到，要么来教堂后在教堂里化妆。

The pastor said everything's fine, which made me feel kind of uncomfortable, kind of put me in a weird position. A couple weeks go by and Candice said that she filed a protective order against Patrick because Patrick hit her with a golf club. Then she was dropping the meetings. She'd show up late to the meetings. She'd show up to the church and put her makeup on at the church.

有一次我看到她在洗手间用毛巾擦洗身体。我问她在干什么，她说因为帕特里克在家，她没法在家洗澡。她整个人有点崩溃。所以我第二次去找牧师，说我们需要让她离开。

I saw her in the bathroom once washing herself with a towel. I'm like, are you doing? She's like, I couldn't shower at home because Patrick was home. She just was kind of spiraling. So I went back to the pastor a second time and I said, look, we need to get her out.

在多次投诉后，牧师终于同意让坎迪斯离开，由莱西接任领导职位。

After multiple complaints, the pastor finally agreed to let Candace go, and Lacey took over the leadership.

最终在那时，我们得以将她从SmoPS团体主席的位置上撤下来，我当时接手了这个职位。大约两天后，我的信箱里出现了一张卡片，里面有300美元和坎迪斯的留言，上面写着：'你会是个很棒的领导者。祝你好运。愿你一切顺利。'那基本上是我最后一次和她说话。

And finally, at that time, we were able to remove her from her being the president of the SmoPS group, I took over at that time. About two days later, my mailbox showed up with a card with $300 in it with a note from Candace that said, You're going do a great job leading. Good luck. I wish you well. And that was kind of the last time I talked to her.

那笔钱是来自福来鸡筹款活动的吗？是的，

So was that money from the Chick fil A fundraiser? Yeah,

那是大约六个月前的事了。所以

that was about six months prior. So

她确实给了

she did give

你那个。她最终还是把钱还回来了。

you that She finally did give it back.

坎迪斯制作了一段视频来告别拖把。以下是她的告别感言。

Candice made a video to mark her goodbye to mops. Here's what she said.

非常感谢你们每月隔周的周四选择信任我们，允许我们展现真实的一面，有时甚至让你们感到不适。

So thank you so much for trusting us with your every other Thursday every month and allowing us to be real with you and allowing us to make you feel uncomfortable sometimes.

视频结尾时，她拿出了她的独角兽头套——那个橡胶材质的、我们在第一集《为爱读书》小组中听说过的道具。在最后的谢幕时刻，我们最棒的独角兽女孩戴着她最爱的面具在房间里翩翩起舞。

At the end of the video, she pulled out her unicorn head, the rubber one, the one we heard about in episode one with the For The Love Book group. For her final curtain call, our best unicorn girl danced around the room in her favorite mask.

我觉得她其实非常难过，但她没有在我面前过多表露，因为我认为她极力想在我和大家面前维持体面。她非常想约我见面，但我拒绝了，并告诉她我不想再继续这段关系。她可能以为自己能靠口才挽回局面，让我回心转意。但我知道这只会变成无休止的仓鼠跑轮。为了自己的身心健康，我告诉自己不能再这样消耗自己了。

I think that she was really upset, but she didn't show that a lot to me because I also think that she was really trying to maintain her face with me and with everyone else. She really wanted to meet up or see me in person and I refused and told her, I am not interested in continuing a relationship with you anymore. I think that she thought that she could talk her way out of all of that and get me back in good graces. I knew it was just gonna be like a never ending hamster wheel. And for me and my own well-being too, I was like, I can't do that to myself.

明白吗？我不能再困在这个循环里了。我必须挣脱出来。自那以后，我就再也没和她说过话。

You know? I I can't keep staying stuck in this loop. I just need to get out of it. And then I never talked to her again after that.

蒂姆伯和我曾分享过彼此的经历。我们某种程度上互相依靠，在涉及坎迪斯的事情上成为了彼此的‘我也是’倾诉对象。经过讨论，我们大致得出结论：坎迪斯对我们所做的一切，正是她指责帕特里克对她做的事。我们基本认同，继续谈论坎迪斯可能不会有什么建设性。就像我们只需要放下这个话题，维持这段友谊。

Timber and I had shared our experiences. We sort of leaned on each other and we were the me too person for each other when it came to Candace and we had discussions and kind of came to the conclusion that Candace was doing to us everything she accused Patrick of doing to her. We sort of agreed that talking about Candace would probably not be something that is productive going forward. Like we just needed to put it down and have a friendship outside of this subject.

当所有Mops女性成员都选择与坎迪斯保持距离时，团体中仍有一个人站在她那边——丹妮尔。在坎迪斯人生的这段动荡时期，

While all of the Mops women moved on from Candace, there was one person from the group who stood by her, Danielle. At this turbulent time in Candace's life,

网络上对她的关爱确实存在，但我很难过生命中这么多事物都在走向终结。

for the love was there for her online, I'm sad that so many things in my life are ending.

我知道上帝会安排更好的际遇，但我能否为那些‘曾经惯常’与‘一直如此’哀悼？然而

I know God's got something better, but can I mourn over the used to's and always did's? But

丹妮尔始终亲身陪伴在她身边。

Danielle was there for her in person.

坎迪斯和我开始花更多时间在一起，那段时间就像其他人都离开了，所以那晚只有她一个人。

Candace and I started spending a lot more time together and so that was kind of our time of like everyone else left so it was just her night.

坎迪斯原本住在婚房里，但法院已将房子判给了她的前夫帕特里克，因为她去乌克兰营救两个孤儿男孩时错过了自己的监护权听证会。坎迪斯被迫搬离。

Candace was living in the marital home but the court had awarded her now ex husband Patrick the house because she missed her own custody hearing while she was in Ukraine rescuing two orphan boys. Candice was forced to get out.

离婚期间我帮她从婚房搬出来。当时坎迪斯的父亲和她一起住在婚房里，因为离婚后他可以帮忙照顾男孩们。他有点惊慌地打电话给我，说不知道该怎么办，帕特里克和他弟弟带着枪在那里。

I was helping her move out of their marital home during the divorce. Candice's dad was living with her at the time, living with her in the marital home because of the divorce so that he could be there to help with the boys. And he called me kind of in a panic. He was like, I don't know where to go. Patrick and his brother are here with guns.

我不知道该怎么办。

I don't know what to do.

我当时就说，好吧，

And I was like, well,

我开卡车过来，我们能装多少就装多少。于是我们打包了一些东西，我甚至没进她的卧室，因为帕特里克在那儿，我觉得打包她的衣服不太合适。我以为他之后会让她进去拿。后来她想拿任何东西都像噩梦一样困难。

I'll come over in my truck and we'll just start loading up what we can. And so we did, you know, we packed a few things. I didn't even go in her bedroom because I felt uncomfortable with Patrick there to, like, pack her her clothes. I assumed he'd let her in later. It was a nightmare to get in to get any of her things.

我丈夫故意让我陷入这种境地，甚至不让我从家里拿内衣。那一晚很难熬，既要努力感恩，又感觉失去了一切。

My husband purposefully has me in this position of not even letting me get underwear from my house. It was a hard night of trying to be grateful and thinking you've lost everything.

无处可去的坎迪开始向朋友们求助，寻找住处。

With nowhere to go, Kandi started reaching out to friends for a place to stay.

我们有两个朋友提供了他们的地下室，因为那是个小出租单元，有独立的小厨房、客厅、卧室和卫生间，与主入口分开。

Two of our friends offered their basement because their basement was a little rental unit, you know, like separated from the main entrance that had its own little kitchen, living room, bedroom, bathroom.

如果你不熟悉这种地下室的概念，我之前也不了解——对我来说地下室就是阴暗潮湿、位于房子下面的空间，很适合拍恐怖片。但在犹他州不是这样，那里以拥有宽敞的独立地下室而闻名，很多甚至作为独立空间出租。

If you're not familiar with this basement concept, neither was I, basement to me means dark, dingy, underneath the house. Perfect for horror movies. But that's not what it means in Utah. Utah is known for having big basements that are their own separate living spaces. A lot of them are even rented out separately to the main house.

她在那里住了几个月，但后来情况变得非常紧张，因为妻子担心坎迪斯在勾引她丈夫。坎迪斯告诉我，黛安害怕她觉得我在勾引格雷格。他不是我喜欢的类型，我根本不会那样做。所以他们让她搬走，那时我的朋友伊芙琳和卡洛斯（他是海军陆战队员）刚好被派驻到这里。

She was there a few months, but then things got real stressful there because the wife was stressed that Candace was coming onto her husband. That's what Candice told me, like, oh, Diane's so scared that she thinks I'm coming onto Greg. He's not my type. It's not like I ever would. So they asked her to move, and that's when my friend Evelyn and Carlos, he's a marine, they were stationed here.

他们提供了楼上的卧室，说你可以来和我们一起住。她在那里住了几个月。大概在格雷格和丹家住了几个月，又在伊芙琳家住了几个月。后来伊芙琳愤怒地打电话给我，说坎迪斯从她的借记账户里取了钱。她说坎迪斯用我的卡付了她的电话费。

They offered an upstairs bedroom like, well, you can come stay with us. She was there for months. It was kind of, know, Greg and Dan's for months and then Evelyn's for months. And then Evelyn called me furious because she told me that Candace had taken money from her debit account. She said Candace used my card to pay her phone bill.

我告诉她不行。她事先问过我，我甚至明确拒绝了，但坎迪斯还是这么做了。这让他们的账单出了问题，经济陷入困境，伊芙琳非常生气和受伤，尤其是这种直接的行为——你问过我，我说不行，你还是做了。于是他们让她离开。

And I told her no. She asked me ahead of time and I even told her no, you can't, and Candice did anyways. And that put them out on Bills and put them in a bad place for Bills and Evelyn was really mad and really hurt, Especially just the direct like, you asked me and I said no, and then you did it anyways. And they asked her to leave.

不只是电话费。坎迪斯还用伊芙琳的卡支付了音乐和电视订阅费。如果你好奇的话，没错，她也试图勾引伊芙琳的丈夫。坎迪斯快没有朋友愿意让她住在家里了。她迫切想拥有自己的住处。

It wasn't just the phone bill. Candice used Evelyn's card to pay for subscriptions to music and TV as well. And in case you were wondering, yes, she also tried to flirt with Evelyn's husband. Candice was running out of friends who would let her stay in their house. She was desperate to get a place of her own.

最终，在朋友们家辗转数月后，足球队的一个家庭拥有一栋联排别墅，他们租给了坎迪斯。

Finally, after months of bouncing around her friends' houses, one of the families at soccer owned a townhome that they rented to Candace.

该更新近况了吗？昨天我搬进了租的新联排别墅，过程很艰难。

Is it time for an update? I moved yesterday into the new townhome that I am renting, and it was hard.

坎迪斯的社交媒体帖子由艾米·朱瑞阅读。本系列所有帖子都直接取自坎迪斯的社交媒体。《为爱》几乎成了坎迪斯的个人日记。在她如今每日的更新中，她坦承第一次独自生活有多么困难。

Candace's social media posts are read by Emmy Jurey. All the posts in this series are taken directly from Candace's social media. For The Love was becoming somewhat of a personal diary for Candace. In And one of her now daily updates, she opened up about how difficult it was to be alone for the first time.

昨晚独自睡在联排别墅里感觉怪怪的。我一直和朋友或孩子们住在一起，现在有点孤单。也许下个月你们可以来拜访，我们一起装饰房子。暗示一下，《为爱》的访客欢迎哦。可以办个300位宾客的暖房派对。

Sleeping alone in the townhome last night was weird. I've been staying with friends or had the boys and it was kind of lonely. Maybe next month, a few of you will have to come and visit, and we can decorate it. Hint, hint, for the love visitors welcome. It could be a housewarming party for 300 guests.

总之，希望你们都好好的。亲亲亲，你们最爱的《为爱》独角兽。

Anyway, hope you're well. Kiss, kiss, kiss, your favorite for the love unicorn.

适应新现实并不容易。这是她成年后第一次完全独处。坎迪斯依赖丹妮尔的支持，尤其是她双胞胎女儿去世的周年纪念日即将到来。

It wasn't easy adjusting to her new reality. She was completely alone for the first time as an adult. Candice leaned on Danielle for support, especially as the anniversary of the loss of her twin girls was approaching.

她失去了她的双胞胎女儿。她告诉我快到女孩们的生日了。以前我和帕特里克总会为她们的生日做些什么，但现在我们离婚了，只有我和儿子们，我不想独自面对这件事。你能来陪我一起吗？

She had lost her twin daughters. She told me when it came up, it's coming up on the girl's birthday. Patrick and I always did something for their birthday, but now that we're divorced, like, it's just me and the boys, and I don't wanna do it by myself. Like, will you come will you come do it with me?

我们会...我们会做的，就像，

We'll have we'll do, like,

为她们办个小生日派对。所以我答应了，带着我的孩子们，我们一起准备了蛋糕。每年我们都会用不同的方式来纪念她们。

a little birthday party for them. So I said yes, and I brought my kids, and so we had a cake. And we'd kinda do different memorial things each year.

丹妮尔和她的孩子们与坎迪斯及她的两个儿子一起庆祝。他们在花园里布置了气球和蛋糕，以此纪念那对双胞胎。

Danielle and her children celebrated with Candace and her two boys. They had balloons and a cake set up in the garden to remember the twins.

我们会为她们唱生日歌，她的孩子们也参与其中，他们会谈论自己的姐妹，想象她们现在该多大年纪。我在想如果我有姐妹会是什么样子，我的孩子们也会参与到这样的纪念中。

We'd sing happy birthday to them, and so her kids were involved with that and they'd talk about their sisters and what age would they be. I wonder what it would have been like if I had sisters and my kids would be involved in that too.

独自在联排别墅度过的最初几周对坎迪斯来说很艰难。但随着时间的推移，她发现自己有更多空间去追求日益增长的医疗倡导热情。

The first few weeks alone in the townhouse were hard for Candace. But as time went on, she found she had more space to follow her growing passion for medical advocacy.

医疗倡导不是胆小者能胜任的。如果你不知道饥饿、人口贩卖、忽视和虐待是什么样子，来，我展示给你看。

Medical advocacy is not for the faint of heart. If you do not know what starvation looks like, trafficking, neglect, abuse, here, I will show you.

坎迪斯将她的热情公之于众，不再只是在私人爱心书群组里发帖。她现在通过Instagram账号'一位勇猛妈妈'向全世界发声。她即将前往乌克兰营救另一名医疗脆弱的孤儿。鉴于坎迪斯的护理经验以及她已经从那里救出两名重度残疾男孩的经历，她再次接到了求助电话。这次是一名遭受人口贩卖的孤儿男孩。

Candice was taking her passions public, not just posting about it in the private for the Love Book group anymore. She was now broadcasting to the world on her Instagram, one fierce mama. She was about to go and rescue another medically vulnerable orphan in Ukraine. Given Candace's nursing experience and that she'd already rescued two severely disabled boys from there, she got the call to help out once again. This time, it was an orphan boy who was a victim of human trafficking.

这个16岁的男孩长期挨饿、遭受殴打、被忽视遗忘，像用过的口香糖包装纸一样被丢弃。

The boy is 16, has been starved, beaten, neglected, and forgotten, discarded like nothing more than a used gum wrapper.

但就在坎迪斯即将登上飞往乌克兰的飞机时

But just as Candace was about to get on the plane to Ukraine

警方正在利希市搜寻一名抢包贼，但受害者甚至不想要回她的钱。

Police are searching for a purse snatcher in Lehi, but the victim doesn't even want her money back.

坎迪斯最关心的是她的护照，包被偷时护照就在里面。她上了当地新闻呼吁归还护照。

Candace's main concern was her passport, which was in her purse when it was stolen. She went on the local news appealing to get it back.

坎迪斯不在乎钱。她只在乎护照和政府身份证件。坎迪斯即将启程前往东欧，这是一次将男孩带回美国医院的使命之旅。

Candace doesn't care about the money. She only cares about her passport and government IDs. Candace has a trip to Eastern Europe coming up very soon. It's a mission to bring this boy back to an American hospital.

他16岁，体重不足22磅。

He's 16 years old and weighs less than twenty two pounds.

没有护照，她将无法成行。

Without her passport, she will not be able to make the trip.

我不想提出指控。我会感谢你，甚至可以给你一个拥抱。但请归还护照，因为这与我无关。真的无关。

I don't want to press charges. I will thank you. I'll even give you a hug. But just bringing back the passport because it's not about me. It's not.

有孩子在等待，我必须去接他们。

There are kids waiting, and I need to go get them.

坎迪斯最终没能找回护照，只得申请新护照。但当时是2020年3月，就在等待新护照期间，新冠疫情席卷全球，她无法出行。但这阻止不了坎迪斯，她联系了住在国家另一端的闺蜜丹妮·雷明顿。

Candice never got her passport back, so she had to apply for a new one. But it was March 2020, so as she was waiting for her new passport to come through, COVID hit the world, and she couldn't travel. But that wasn't going to stop Candace. She called up a bestie who lived on the other side of the country, Dani Remington.

我是注册护士，目前是居家教育四个孩子的全职妈妈。我曾在南丁格尔学院攻读护理副学士学位。

I'm a registered nurse, and currently, I'm stay at home mom homeschooling my four kids. I attended Nightingale College for my associates in nursing.

丹妮和坎迪斯一起上过护理学校，她们因此成为闺蜜。

Dani and Candice went to nursing school together. That's how they became besties.

当坎迪斯开始这个项目时，我感觉我们很快就成为了朋友。

When Candice started the program, I felt like we clicked as friends pretty quick.

坎迪斯和丹妮在毕业前进行临床实习期间，学业接近尾声时成为了更亲密的朋友。

Candice and Dani became closer friends towards the end of their schooling when they were doing their clinical rotations before graduation.

我们毕业那天有个授徽仪式。她本不想参加毕业典礼。但在毕业当天，她突然出现在我的公寓，想和我合影，还带着她的毕业帽。我记得她把照片发到社交媒体上，写着：我们做到了。我们从护理学院毕业了。

On the day that we graduated, there was like a pinning ceremony. She did not want to attend graduation. On the day of graduation, she showed up at my apartment and wanted to get a picture with me and had, like, her cap with her. And I remember her posting that to social media saying, we did it. We graduated nursing school.

对我来说，这就是她为自己举办的毕业典礼。

And and that was to me how she had, like, the graduation ceremony for herself.

坎迪斯毕业时28岁，丹妮30岁。南丁格尔学院他们班上大多数学生都是成年人。但即使毕业后，要想找到工作或从事护理工作，还需要通过执业资格考试。

Candice was 28 when she graduated. Dani, 30. The majority of students in their class at Nightingale College were adults. But even after you graduate, to be able to get a job or even practice nursing, you need to pass the licensure board exam.

我们同期有好几个人都难以通过资格考试。我记得坎迪斯告诉我她两次都没考过。之后不久我搬回了东海岸，生活走向了不同方向，我们就渐渐失去了联系。2020年她联系了我，那是多年来我第一次收到她的消息。

There was several in our cohort that were struggling to pass the board exam. And I remember Candice telling me she didn't pass on two attempts. And then I moved back to the East Coast shortly after that, and my life just went in a different direction in terms of, you know, we just kinda lost contact. She reached out to me in the 2020. That was the first time I'd heard from her in years.

她打电话告诉我，她一直在协助为东欧（特别是乌克兰）的孤儿提供医疗转运服务。有个男孩她接触过几次，但由于疫情无法飞过去接他。他们安排这孩子搭乘某种政府航班过来，希望他落地后能接受医疗评估。这孩子瘦弱娇小，严重营养不良，曾遭受过严重的虐待创伤。她说这对她会是很大帮助，养母也会非常感激。

She called me up and said that she had been helping with efforts to provide medical transportation of orphans in Eastern Europe, specifically Ukraine. There was a boy there who she'd worked with on a couple of occasions, but due to the pandemic, they were unable to fly to pick him up. They had worked out some situation where he came in on some kind of government flight and that when he landed, she wanted him to have some medical assessing done. And this boy was frail and tiny, severe malnourishment, had been in just a very abusive traumatic situation. She said it would be a big help to her and that this was something that the adoptive mother would be very appreciative of.

于是我告诉她，我和丈夫会一起去。

So I told her that my husband and I would go together.

丹妮搬到东海岸后，结识了现在的丈夫大卫，他是名家庭全科医生。

When Dani moved to the East Coast, she met her now husband David, who is a physician, a family doctor, GP.

我们入住酒店后，养母和那个乌克兰来的孩子住在我们隔壁房间。评估过程令人既谦卑又心碎，同时也充满意义。孩子身体极度虚弱，却能感受到养母的爱，看着他与这位我确信真心关爱他的人建立情感纽带。回家的路上，我和丈夫泪流满面，回想着所见所闻所感，决心尽己所能支持这项事业。

We checked into a hotel and the adoptive mother and her, the child coming from Ukraine, checked into the room adjacent to us. The assessment part was, it was a really humbling and distressing and rewarding experience. He was in such a fragile condition, and yet he was seeing the love of the adopted mother and to see this boy connect with and start to have a relationship with someone who I knew genuinely cared for him and loved him. My husband and I were tearful on the drive home and reflecting on all of it and all that we had learned and all we'd seen and felt and felt that we really wanted to do whatever we could to help this cause.

打扰你的隔离生活，只为最终带来你需要聆听的故事。

Interrupting your quarantine life to finally bring you the story you need to hear.

坎在Instagram上发帖，详细记录了促成这项工作的所有环节。

Kan is posted on Instagram, detailing all the pieces that came together to make this work.

一位乌克兰大使馆外交官、一名乌克兰保安兼司机、两名国际领养代理人、一位乌克兰保姆、一个俄罗斯地区的非医疗传教士家庭、印第安纳州的一位母亲、纽约的职业治疗师、北卡罗来纳州的医疗夫妇、犹他州的单身医疗妈妈，以及一位了不起的、强大的上帝，没有让这个孤儿死去。

A Ukrainian embassy diplomat, a Ukrainian security guard and driver, two international adoption agents, a Ukrainian nanny, a Russian area nonmedical missionary family, a mom from Indiana, an OT from New York, a medical couple from North Carolina, a medical single mom from Utah, and one amazing, bad a, big god, did not let an orphan die.

坎迪斯在评估时通过FaceTime参与，你知道，就是和养母以及我丈夫和我交谈。根据我们的评估以及对他当时在乌克兰处境的观察，如果他留在那里，我不知道他还能活多久。

Candice was on FaceTime during the assessment and was just, you know, talking to the adopted mom and and to my husband and I. Based on our assessments and our just looking at his situation that he was in in Ukraine, had he stayed there, I don't know how much longer he would have lived.

COVID是一个巨大的担忧。孤儿的养母说他的肺部非常虚弱，如果感染了病毒，她不知道他如何能活下来。在丹尼·雷明顿和她丈夫以及FaceTime上的坎迪斯的帮助下，孤儿得到了安全治疗并被送往他在美国的新家。他成为了养母的第十四个收养的孩子。他现在过得非常好。

COVID was a huge concern. The orphan's adopted mother said that his lungs were so weak that if he were to catch it, she didn't know how he'd survive. With the help of Danny Remington and her husband and Candace on FaceTime, the orphan was safely treated and transported to his new home in America. He became the adoptive mother's fourteenth adopted child. He's now doing really well.

坎迪斯决心继续她的工作，一场全球大流行并不能阻止她。她开始在离家更近的盐湖城做志愿者，帮助那些流落街头和被贩卖的人。

Candice was determined to continue her work, and a global pandemic wasn't going to stop her. She started volunteering a bit closer to home in Salt Lake City, helping those who were on the streets and being trafficked.

我之前不知道她对这方面有兴趣或热情，但我记得和她通电话时，坎迪斯告诉我很多关于反人口贩卖工作的信息，并提到她现在正在盐湖城与一名医师助理合作，帮助女性脱离贩卖，还告诉了我很多相关的细节。

I did not know that she had an interest or a passion in that before, but I remember sitting on the phone with her and Candace telling me about a lot of information on anti human trafficking work and had mentioned to me that she was now working with a physician assistant exiting women in trafficking in Salt Lake and told me a lot of details about all of it.

坎迪斯在盐湖城街头合作的那位医师助理名叫德鲁。他与遭受剥削和贩卖的受害者一起工作。德鲁被一个当地组织联系，他们想在盐湖城开展一个外展项目。他们有一份志愿者名单，可以协助他。坎迪斯就在那份名单上。

The physician's assistant Candice was working with on the streets of Salt Lake City was a guy called Drew. He worked with victims of exploitation and trafficking. Drew was approached by a local organization that wanted to create an outreach program in Salt Lake. They had a list of volunteers he could utilize to help him out. Candace was on that list.

坎迪斯希望参与那个项目，那种街头外展类型的项目。有一个角色是每月领导一晚的志愿者领队，坎迪斯是这个角色的候选人之一。这就是我最初认识她的方式。她非常有魅力，容易交谈。

Candace was looking to get involved in that project, that street outreach type project. And there was a role for, like, lead volunteers to, like, lead one night a month. And Candace was a candidate for that role. So that's how I was introduced to her initially. She's very charismatic, easy to talk to.

她非常兴奋，似乎对我从事的工作充满热情。她提到了一些非常酷的异国经历，你知道的。她在医疗领域的经验，她在东欧孤儿院工作的经历，进行医疗转运，将那些健康状况不佳、特别是从乌克兰被收养的孩子带到美国。我对这些很感兴趣，也非常好奇，因为她提到自己是一名护士或执业护士，这个身份似乎随时间变化，在两者之间切换，这有点奇怪。但你知道，看起来她也试图在医疗保健和人口贩卖的交汇处工作。

She's very excited, seemed really passionate about the work that I was engaged in. She touted like some really cool exotic experience, know. Her experience in the medical field, her experience like working in Eastern Europe in orphanages, doing these like medical transports to bring kids who were medically compromised who had been adopted from Ukraine in particular to The United States. I was interested and I was really curious about that because she said that she was a nurse or a nurse practitioner that kind of changed over time like toggled between the two which was a little weird. But you know it seemed like she was also trying to work at the intersection of healthcare and human trafficking.

她曾出来过一次，像是接受采访式的街头走访，那时我们——其实是我正在外面做我的日常工作，她跟着一起。我逐渐了解她，观察她是否适合那个角色。但她后来变得很不靠谱，我再也没收到她的消息。我们多次邀请她担任这个职位，因为她看起来非常合适，但她始终没有回应。她是个单亲妈妈，孩子在家。

She came out once for like a interview kind of walkabout on the streets where we were actually I was actually out there doing the work that I do and she came with and I was getting to know her a bit and looking at, you know, if she would be a good person for that role. But then she was really flaky. I, like, never heard from her again. We asked her multiple times to take on the role because she seemed like a great fit and never heard back from her. She was a single mom, kids at home.

所以我想，她可能只是事情太多。2020年疫情期间，我待在家里无所事事，只是等待。但我个人有点闲不住，那段时间我在做规划，深入研究如何建立一个组织来实现我的目标。在这个过程中，我联系了很多人，记得有次和坎迪斯通话。我向她分享了我的愿景：创建一个非营利组织，为遭受人口贩卖和剥削的人提供免费医疗服务，并能在全球范围内开展这项工作。

So I was like, well, probably just got lots of things going on. In 2020, during the pandemic, I was just at home kind of doing nothing, just waiting. But I am personally a bit restless and so during that time I was planning and I was really digging deep and doing a lot of research into how to get an organization off the ground to accomplish the work that I wanted to accomplish. As I did that, I reached out to a lot of people and I remember getting on the phone with Candace. I really like shared with her my vision for creating a nonprofit organization that would provide free health care to people experiencing human trafficking and exploitation and being able to do that all over the world.

她对此非常兴奋。她说：‘是的，我一直在做类似的事情，我觉得我可以帮你把这个项目提升到新高度。’她似乎在这个领域很有经验，有很多商业经验或敏锐度。她说和前夫一起创办过多个企业，有很好的市场营销和公众形象能力，虽然那并不是我的强项。

She really got stoked about that. She was like, yeah, like, I've been doing things like that and and I think that I could help you take this to the next level. Seemed to have a lot of experience in that space, a lot of business experience or acumen. You know, she'd said that she'd started multiple businesses with her ex husband. She had a really good, like, kind of marketing public facing persona that I I didn't really feel like was my jam.

我和很多人讨论过这件事。他们都觉得：‘哦，这很棒，你们会很合拍。’

I ran this by a lot of people. You know? They were like, oh, yeah. This is great. This will be a great match.

所以我想，好吧，那就朝这个方向推进吧。

So I was like, okay. Let's start moving down that direction.

坎迪斯的事情终于有了眉目。她一直梦想着产生影响，改变现状。通过医疗倡导工作，她尝到了自己能做些什么的滋味。现在遇到了德鲁，这是开始一项比两人单独行动更宏大的事业的绝佳机会。于是，德鲁和坎迪斯共同创立了一个名为‘Exitus’的非营利组织。

Things were finally coming together for Candace. She'd always dreamed of making an impact. She wanted to make a difference, and with her medical advocacy work, had got a taste of what she could do. Now that she'd met Drew, it was the perfect opportunity to start something bigger than what the two of them could accomplish separately. So Drew and Candice co founded a nonprofit called Exitus.

他们的想法是，Exitus将帮助人口贩卖受害者逃脱（因此得名），并提供康复所需的资源、支持和后续护理。可能有人认为人口贩卖在美国不存在，但它确实存在。这是一个价值数十亿美元的产业，非法盈利仅次于毒品贩卖。盐湖城因其靠近美国西部而成为枢纽，距离拉斯维加斯和加州不远。

Their idea was that Exitus would help human trafficking victims to escape or exit hence the name and provide the resources, support and aftercare needed to heal. There can be a perception that human trafficking doesn't happen in The US, but it does. It's a billion dollar industry, second only to drug trafficking in terms of illegal industry profitability. Salt Lake City is a hub for it because of its proximity to the western part of the country. It's not far from Las Vegas and California.

要成为正式的非营利组织，德鲁和坎迪斯需要一个董事会。坎迪斯几乎立即开始组建团队和董事会。董事会成员包括犹他州一些知名人士，如前海军海豹突击队员、成功的犹他州商人和畅销书作家。坎迪斯还邀请了她护理学院的闺蜜丹妮·雷明顿及其医生丈夫加入。

To become an official nonprofit, Drew and Candice would need a board. Candice started assembling a team and a board almost immediately. The board was made up of some prominent names in Utah, including an ex Navy SEAL, a successful Utah businessman, and a bestselling author. Candice tapped her nursing school bestie, Danny Remington, and her doctor husband to join as well.

嗯，我想是这个，3643。

Well, I think it's this one, thirty six forty three.

制片人杰克逊和我去了犹他州，花时间与坎迪斯亲近的人相处。

Producer Jackson and I went to Utah and spent some time with the people who were close to Candice.

所以它们是多个不同的公寓，还是一栋房子？

So were they are they, like, multiple different apartments, or is that a house?

它们像是连在一起的房子。

They're like houses connected to each other.

就像联排别墅那样。

Like a townhouse.

相当大。

It's pretty big.

确实挺大的。

It is pretty big.

它是而且

It's And

很美。是的。就像是

it was beautiful. Yeah. It's like it was

非常小。那个，就像是

really small. That's, like,

大。那就像是一栋大房子。还有地下室。

big. That's, like, a big house. Have basements too.

坎迪斯的好友奥拉带着我们参观，她和她女儿贝莉带我们游览了犹他州。第一站就是坎迪斯的联排别墅。

We were shown around by one of Candace's besties, Aura, who took us on a little tour of Utah with her daughter Bailey. The first stop was Candice's townhouse.

对，就是尽头那栋。至少有三间卧室，那边还有个游泳池。

Yeah. It's this one on the end. It's got at least three bedrooms. They have a pool over there somewhere.

我们一个踢足球的朋友帮她搞定的。就是那里

A soccer friend of ours helped her get this. That's where

我们开始举办女生之夜的地方。

we started having girls' nights.

奥拉初次遇见坎迪斯时，她正经历人生重大转折。

When Aura first met Candice, she was going through a major life change.

那时我38岁，刚退出摩门教。我刚刚告诉丈夫这件事，这对我们家庭当然是毁灭性打击。我只是...不再信仰它了。

I was 38 years old and I had just left the Mormon church. I had just told my husband, which of course was devastating to our family. And I just I didn't believe in it anymore.

因为你全家都是摩门教徒包括是的，而且

Because your family is Mormon including Yes, and

我丈夫也是摩门教徒。

my husband is Mormon.

耶稣基督后期圣徒教会，又称摩门教，与犹他州密不可分。该州拥有全球最多的摩门教徒，超过200万人。犹他州由摩门教徒建立，因此这不仅是一种宗教，更是一种生活方式。多数商店周日歇业，包括杂货店，似乎每个街角都有摩门教堂。天际线点缀着坐落在摩门圣殿尖顶上的金色天使像。

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints, also known as Mormonism, is synonymous with Utah. The state has the highest population of Mormons worldwide, over 2,000,000 people. Utah was built by Mormons, so it isn't just a religion but a way of life. Most of the shops close on Sundays, including the grocery stores, and it seems like there's a Mormon church on every corner. The skyline is dotted with golden angels sitting atop the spires of the Mormon temples.

开车穿梭盐湖城时你不可能不注意到——所有街道都以距离盐湖城主圣殿（圣殿广场）的远近编号。所以对我来说找路有点困惑。参观完坎迪斯的联排别墅后，我们和奥拉、贝莉在蒂帕诺格斯山圣殿停留。

You can't help but notice it when you're driving in and around Salt Lake City. The streets are all numbered based on how far away they are from the main temple in Salt Lake, Temple Square. So it was a little confusing to get around, for me anyway. After Candace's townhouse, we stopped at Mount Timpanogos Temple with Aura and Bailey.

我第一次进入圣殿时，那个仪式叫做启蒙礼。

The first time I went in the temple, it's called initiatory.

对。

Right.

你们举行这些仪式的地方，

Where you do these rituals,

然后你就会得到，像是，

and then you get, like,

你的圣殿服装。所以当我这么做时，这个

your temple garments. So when I did that, this

就是我去的圣殿。这也是我姐姐结婚的地方。

is the temple I went to. This is also where my sister was married.

里面很大吗？

Is it huge inside?

看起来非常庞大。是的。而且它应该是天堂的复制品，所以非常洁白。

It looks massive. Yep. And it's supposed to replicate heaven, so it's very white.

制片人杰克逊和我与奥拉和她女儿贝莉站在圣殿的金色滑动门外。我们不被允许进入。你需要一张圣殿推荐卡才能进去。贝莉也不再是教会成员，但她告诉我们她年轻时如何偷偷溜出去去圣殿。

Producer Jackson and I stood outside the golden sliding doors of the temple with Aura and her daughter, Bailey. We weren't allowed in. You need a temple recommend card to get access. Bailey's also no longer part of the church, but she told us about how she would sneak out to go to the temple when she was younger.

我以前经常来这里。你呢？哦，是啊。我和我的一个朋友。我真的在高中时偷偷溜出来，我们真的溜出去去圣殿，就坐在停车场里。

I used to come here so much. Did you? Oh, yeah. Me and one of my friends. I literally I used to sneak out in high school, and we legit snuck out to go to the temple and, like, just sit in the parking lot.

我不是为了去见男孩或接吻什么的才溜出来的。你是为了去圣殿？我们真的是溜出去去圣殿的。

I wasn't sneaking out to, like, go see boys or kiss or anything. You snuck to the temple? We literally snuck out to go to the temple.

就坐在停车场里？

And sit in the car park?

对，我们就坐着。那感觉就像某种心灵体验，但又能和朋友们一起分享。

Yeah. We just sat. It was just like it's like these spiritual experiences, but then you got to, like, have it with, like, your friends, I guess.

脱离摩门教是件大事。奥拉失去了朋友、社群，以及她唯一熟悉的生活方式。离开意味着要重新学习如何在世上生存，这次没有任何外部指引。这使她的家庭产生了裂痕——你甚至不能参加自家人的婚礼，因为你再也无法踏入圣殿。

Leaving the Mormon church is a big deal. Aura lost her friends, her community, and the only way of life she'd ever known. Leaving meant having to relearn how to exist in the world again, this time without any external guidance. It fractured her family. You can't even go to your own family's weddings because you're not allowed to step foot in the temple again.

这也给她的婚姻带来了压力。奥拉的丈夫仍在教内，由于教会的期望，他们花了些时间才渡过难关。坎迪斯不是摩门教徒，她是基督徒，所以奥拉觉得可以向她倾诉而不被评判。

And it put a strain on her marriage. Aura's husband is still in the religion and it took them some time to work through because of the expectations of the church. Candice was not Mormon. She's a Christian, so Aura felt like she could confide in her without being judged.

当我离开摩门教时，我觉得坎迪斯是那个阶段能安全交往的朋友，因为我的熟人大多也是摩门教徒。我向她倾诉了自己正在经历的过程。那是我生命中最痛苦的时期，也是最自由的时期。

So when I left the Mormon church, I felt that Candice was a safe person to be my friend at that time, where most of my acquaintances were also Mormons. So I confided in her about the process I was going through. It was an extremely painful time in my life and also the most freeing time in my life.

所有的

All of

突然之间，你的大脑像张白纸，双腿却被截断，同时脚下也没有地板。我必须重新思考生命中所有被教导的事，包括最基础的认知，就像重生后为自己做决定。坎迪斯始终陪伴着我。她很安全，因为我从没听她说过教会坏话。

a sudden, your brain is like a blank sheet of paper, but your legs are also cut off. At the same time, like, there is no floor underneath you. So everything in my life that I had been taught, down to the most basic facts, I could think about again as, like, if I was reborn and make decisions for myself. Candice was there for me. She was safe to talk to because I'd never heard her talk bad about the church.

所以我觉得可以告诉她，她也不会憎恨我丈夫。这对我非常重要。她对我家人非常友善，不过在我离开教会后她说：‘我真的很高兴。’

So I was like, I can tell her, and she won't hate my husband. And that was really important to me. She was so kind to my family, but she she did tell me after I left the church, she's like, I'm so glad.

奥拉离开摩门教后，开始探索人生新方向。坎迪斯邀请她参与新项目「出埃及记」的工作。

Now that Aura had left the Mormon church, she was on a journey to discover what she wanted to do in her life. Candice offered her a job at her new project, Exodus.

她说：‘我这有个绝佳机会。’

She's like, I have the perfect opportunity.

那是你的第一份工作吗？

And was that your first job?

我这辈子还做过其他工作，比如一些零工，其实我很喜欢那些工作。但这份工作让我第一次觉得，我不需要为离开家而感到愧疚。

I have had other jobs, like small jobs throughout my life that I actually love, but this was the first one I had where I'm like, I don't need to feel guilty

是啊。

Yeah.

但后来她说，我觉得你当我秘书再合适不过了。

About leaving my house. Yeah. But then she's like, I think you would be perfect as my secretary.

奥拉向我们讲述了她和坎迪斯初次见面的情景，那是在她儿子们的足球比赛上。

Aura told us about when she and Candice first met, which is at her boys' soccer game.

当时我们的儿子在同一支足球队。球队组织了一次去梅斯基特的足球旅行，所有队员和家人都参加了。我记得在游泳池边，我和几个早就认识的足球妈妈朋友在一起。坎迪斯也在那儿，她们都在谈论帕特里克出轨的事。她就像个光芒四射的女人，风趣、开朗、漂亮，还特别幽默。

So our sons were on the same soccer team. There was a soccer trip to Mesquite with the teams and all their families. And so I remember being at a pool, and I was with some soccer mom, friends that I already knew. And Candice was there, and they were all talking about the affairs Patrick was having. She just was, like, this larger than life woman who was, like, fun and happy and pretty and just was funny.

她很有幽默感，特别擅长说话，能把所有人都吸引住。我们围着她，算是给她支持。现在回想起来，觉得她当时那么活泼其实挺奇怪的，因为我们围着她是因为她丈夫刚出轨，需要安慰。她还跟我说，哦对了，我刚去做了性病检查，不过没事之类的。

Like, she's got a sense of humor and just was, like, really good at talking and sucking everyone in. We were kind of surrounding her being her support. And looking back, I think it's kind of strange how bubbly she was at this time because the whole reason why we were surrounding her was for support because her husband had just been cheating on her. So she was telling me, like, oh, yeah. I just had to get tested for STDs, but, like, I'm good type of a thing.

但她就是特别开朗的样子。我们都觉得这种性格说明她在艰难时刻特别坚强。所以我们都被吸引进了坎迪斯的世界。后来帕特里克也来了，他迟到了，我们都特别讨厌他，根本不理他。

But yeah, like really bubbly about it. And I think we all saw that personality as someone that was really strong through something really hard. And so, we were all just drawn into like Candice's world. And Patrick ended up coming later on the trip, like he showed up late, and we were all just like hating him. We were ignoring him.

坎迪斯告诉我们，她去国外帮助儿童期间，回家发现帕特里克让另一个女人住进家里，基本上在扮演她孩子的妈妈。所以我们当然都站在坎迪斯这边，完全不支持她丈夫。后来他女朋友还来看孩子们比赛，我们都惊呆了。我想这些人怎么有脸在她面前、在孩子面前、在我们面前炫耀这种关系。

Candice told us that while she was gone helping children in another country, when she came home, Patrick had another woman living at the house basically playing mom to her family. So of course, we're like, we are team Candace and we do not support your husband at all. And then his girlfriend came to watch our boys play and we were horrified. And I'm like, what nerve for these people to, like, parade the relationship in front of her, in front of the children, in front of us.

在犹他州期间，我们和卡妮莎生活中的人们交谈，发现大家都在谈论一个人——她的前夫帕特里克。我们非常希望能和他坐下来聊聊，听听他的说法。

Spending time in Utah and talking to people in Kanissa's life, there was one person everyone was told stories about. The ex husband, Patrick. We really wanted to sit down with him and see what he had to say.

我叫帕特里克·莱尔德，44岁，一辈子都住在犹他州。

My name is Patrick Laird, 44, lived in Utah my whole life.

你的前妻是谁？

Who's your ex wife?

坎迪斯·里维拉。

Candice Rivera.

所以你就是那个臭名昭著的前夫，大家都在谈论的那个？

So you're the infamous ex husband that everybody talked about?

是的。

Yep.

帕特里克对坎迪斯关于他的说法有着截然不同的看法。我们将在下一集的《独角兽女孩》中探讨这一点。这里是《独角兽女孩》，一部由七山制作、苹果原创的播客，由我查理·韦伯斯特主持并担任执行制作人。《独角兽女孩》由我查理·韦伯斯特和杰克逊·麦克伦南共同制作。原创配乐及主题音乐由瑞安·索伦森创作。

Patrick had a very different take on what Candace was saying about him. We'll get to that in the next episode of Unicorn Girl. This has been Unicorn Girl, an Apple original podcast produced by Seven Hills and hosted and executive produced by me, Charlie Webster. Unicorn Girl is produced by me, Charlie Webster, and Jackson McLennan. Original score and theme music by Ryan Sorenson.

剪辑与音效设计由尼科·皮莱拉负责。助理制作及事实核查由艾米完成，欢迎在苹果播客上收听。

Editing and sound design by Nico Pilella. Assistant producer and fact checking by Emmy and listen on Apple Podcasts.