#2973 《迈阿密娇妻》第七季第11集（下）：怒火中烧的弗拉门戈

减肥药物如今随处可见。人人都在谈论它们，人人都在服用。但说实话，你看到那价格标签了吗？

Weight loss medications are everywhere right now. Everyone's talking about them. Everyone's on them. But let's be real. Have you seen the price tag?

难以置信它们真的触手可及。这就是Hers的切入点。

It's hard to believe they're actually accessible. That's where Hers comes in.

Hers正在通过提供可负担的减肥治疗方案来改变女性医疗保健。他们会为您联系医疗专业人员，共同确定最适合您的治疗方案。

Hers is transforming women's health care by providing access to affordable weight loss treatment plans. They connect you with a medical provider who will work with you to determine the best treatment option for you.

若获处方，您可选择药物治疗

If prescribed, you get medication as option

Hers的减肥方案务实而不严苛，且价格亲民。提供口服药物套装和GLP-1注射剂两种选择。

Weight loss by Hers is realistic, not restrictive, and it's affordable. Hers provides access to both oral medication kits and GLP-one injectable options.

立即登录forhers.com/krapins开始免费在线问诊。

Start your free online visit today at forhers.com/krapins.

访问f0rhers.com/krapins获取个性化减肥治疗方案。

That's f0rhers.com/krapins for your personalized weight loss treatment options.

Forhers.com/krapins。

Forhers.com/krapins.

Hers减肥服务并非全国适用。复合产品未经FDA审核批准其安全性、有效性或质量。需凭处方购买。详情、重要安全信息及限制条款请参阅官网。实际价格取决于所购产品及方案。

Weight loss by Hers is not available everywhere. Compounded products are not approved or reviewed for safety, effectiveness, or quality by the FDA. Prescription required. See website for full details, important safety information, and restrictions. Actual price depends on product and plan purchased.

本节目由探照灯影业新片《玫瑰之战》赞助播出。

We are sponsored by the new movie from Searchlight Pictures, The Roses.

完美伴侣艾薇（奥利维娅·科尔曼饰）与西奥·罗斯（本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇饰）拥有令人艳羡的一切：成功的事业、美满的婚姻和出色的孩子。但当西奥的事业突然崩塌，而艾薇的名气却如日中天时，激烈的竞争与日益增长的怨恨如同火药桶般被点燃，若不先摧毁彼此，他们苦心经营的一切恐将分崩离析。

Perfect couple Ivy, Olivia Coleman, and Theo Rose, Benedict Cumberbatch, have it all. Successful careers, a loving marriage, and great kids. But when Theo's career comes crashing down, just as Ivy's fame starts to skyrocket, a tinderbox of fierce competition and growing resentment ignites, threatening to destroy everything they've built if they don't destroy each other first.

当爱情变成战争，一切手段皆可原谅。

All's fair when love is war.

对于所有经历过感情关系的人而言，《罗斯夫妇》是一部雅俗共赏的喜剧佳作。

For anyone who's ever been in a relationship, The Roses is a crowd pleasing comedy.

主演阵容包括本尼迪克特·康伯巴奇、奥利维娅·科尔曼、安迪·萨姆伯格、艾莉森·珍妮、舒提·加特瓦以及凯特·麦克金农。

Starring Benedict Cumberbatch, Olivia Coleman, Andy Samberg, Allison Janney, Shuti Gatwa, and Kate McKinnon.

由《拜见岳父大人》导演与《可怜的东西》编剧联手打造。

From the director of Meet the Parents and writer of Poor Things.

杰伊·罗奇执导，托尼·麦克纳马拉执笔剧本。

Directed by Jay Roach and screenplay by Tony McNamara.

这部电影看起来简直笑料百出。我太爱奥利维娅·科尔曼了，凡是她参演的作品我必看，而这部显然会是全垒打。8月29日全球影院上映，即刻购票。

This movie looks absolutely hilarious. I love Olivia Colman so much. I'll see anything she's in, and this one looks like a home run. In theaters everywhere, August 29. Get tickets now.

正在寻觅浪漫夏日消遣？快来聆听莉莉·楚的全新Audible原创作品《富家女夏日》。

Searching for a romantic summer getaway, escape with Rich Girl Summer, the new Audible original from Lily Chu.

才华横溢的菲利帕·苏第五次为莉莉·楚的作品献声演绎。

The exquisitely talented Philippa Sue returning to narrate her fifth Lily Chew title.

此次菲利帕将与现实生活中的丈夫——《火线救援》《美国之子》的主演史蒂文·帕斯奎尔共同献声。

This time, Philippa is joined by her real life husband, Steven Pasquale from Rescue Me and American Son.

《富家女之夏》的故事发生在多伦多富裕的别墅区，号称加拿大汉普顿。讲述了活动策划师瓦莱丽时运不济，假扮成社交名媛失散多年的女儿，一边拼凑这个神秘家族的秘密，一边与那位难以捉摸、英俊得令人恼火的家族助理尼可越陷越深的故事。

Set in Toronto's wealthy cottage country, aka the Hamptons Of Canada, Rich Girl Summer follows the story of Valerie, a down on her luck event planner posing as a socialite's long lost daughter while piecing together the secrets surrounding a mysterious family and falling deeper and deeper in love with the impossibly hard to read and infuriatingly handsome family assistant, Nico.

在假装融入与意外找到真正归属之间挣扎的瓦莱丽发现，这个夏天远比她计划的复杂得多。她既深陷其中，又深陷爱河。

Caught between pretending to belong and unexpectedly finding where she truly fits in, Valerie learns her summer is about to get far more complicated than she ever planned. She's in over her head and head over heels.

假继承人，真秘密。

Fake heiress, real secrets.

立即登录audible.com/richgirlsummer收听《富家女之夏》。

Listen to Rich Girl Summer now on Audible. Go to audible.com/richgirlsummer.

大家好，欢迎回来。这是两集回顾的第二部分。如果你好奇第一集在哪，快去播客列表里查看并记得订阅，这样你就不会错过任何剧集。闲话少说，我们直接进入正题。

Hi everyone. Welcome back. This is part two of a two part recap. If you're wondering where part one was, well go check-in the feed and be sure to subscribe so that way you always get your episodes. But enough of that, let's get right back into the episode.

她们正准备参加灵魂弗拉门戈活动时，阿德里亚娜去丽莎房间，发现丽莎正在和乔迪通话。丽莎说：'乔迪，阿德里亚娜全程都在场好吗？'而拉丽莎只会说：'她对我就是个坏朋友'，还不停重复'我是个好闺蜜，我是个好妈妈'。

So they, they're getting ready for spiritual flamenco and they're all doing this and Adriana goes to Lisa's room and Lisa is on the phone with Jody and Lisa's like, Adriana was there for the whole thing Jody. Okay? And all she does, all Larissa does is she says, oh, like, she's literally a bad friend to me, and she keeps on saying, I'm a good friend. I'm a good friend. I'm a good mom.

'我这个好，那个好'之类的话，她就这样喋喋不休。

I'm a good this. I'm a good that. X y z. All these things. She just keeps on going on and on.

接着我们看到拉丽莎宣称自己是好闺蜜的蒙太奇画面，简直滑稽至极，因为她根本不是。

And then we do see a montage of Larissa declaring that she's a good friend, which is hilarious because Larissa is not a good friend.

拉丽莎啊，她可不像是以'好闺蜜'著称的人对吧？四周前的画面显示，乔迪反问：'你见过比她更自封的好闺蜜吗？现在凭什么要对她好？'

Larissa, yeah, Larissa's I don't think known for being a good friend. Right? Four weeks earlier, we see all of this stuff. So then Jody's like, well, have you ever met a better self proclaimed trend? Why would you be a good friend to her now?

过去几个月她一直像捕食者般对待我们，你现在凭什么要同情她？

She spent the last couple of months being a predator to me and you. Why are you so sorry for her now?

没错。我现在必须彻底搞清楚这件事。制作人就说，好吧，让乔迪来做他的第一次忏悔采访。好的。

Yeah. I need to get to the bottom of this right now. So the producer's like, okay. Let's get Jody in for his first ever confessional. Okay.

现在，乔迪。对。我们。对。希望你说出真相。

Now, Jody Yep. We Yep. Want you to say your truth.

滑屏。滑屏。滑屏。不是在刷Instagram，但我在干嘛？我什么都没做。

Scroll. Scroll. Scroll. Not looking at Instagram, but what am I doing? I'm not doing anything.

我点赞了。好吧。我点赞了。好吧。被你发现了。

I like something. Okay. I like something. Okay. You caught me.

被你发现了。我就继续玩我的。你接着说。你接着说。

You caught me. I'll just keep playing. You just talk. You just talk.

这是我第一次。我又不像你是专业人士。行吗？

It's my first time. Like, I'm not a pro at this like you are. Okay?

继续。看啊。我刚注册了新账号来双重关注马库斯。嘿，

On. Just read. I just made a new account to follow Marcus under so I can double follow Marcus. Hey,

我有点热。我去隔壁房间吹会儿空调。马上回来。

I'm getting a little hot. I'm gonna go in the other room for some AC for a second. We'll be right back.

她差点因为她插手我的感情而让我们分手。好吧。解释下拉尔萨是怎么介入你和丽莎之间差点导致你们分手的。乔迪就说，你知道的，嗨丽莎，她很特别，我想这个词在当下文化里还能说吧。

She almost broke us up because of her meddling in my relationship. Okay. Well, explain how Larsa got between you and Lisa and almost caused you to break up. And Jodi's like, you know, well, you know, hello Lisa. You know, she's very special, I guess is a word I'm allowed to say right now in current, culture.

但总有人不断找她麻烦，其中一部分也会波及我。现实就是这样，你知道，你整天提心吊胆的感觉真的很折磨人。懂我意思吗？我甚至得用吸管吃饭。所以看起来真的特别特别难熬。

But she has people people coming at her all the time and, you know, a percentage of that comes at me too. And that's just how that is, you know, and it's really raw how you feel calmering all the time. You know what I mean? I can't even I have to drink I have to eat my food out of a straw now. So it seemed like really, really hard.

我是说，一个人能承受多少？老实说，我觉得他承受的没那么多。所以乔迪就说，好吧。阿德里安娜，别太担心，如果她表现得像个混蛋，我们也不会对她客气。就像，哦，真伤人。

I mean, how much can a man take? I'm like, I don't think he's taking that much, to be honest. So, Jody's like, well, okay. Well, Adriana, don't worry about it too much because if she's gonna act like an asshole, then we're not gonna treat her nice in response. Like, oh, burn.

我们刚被乔迪耍了。

We just got Jodied.

是啊。现在人们都聚集在大厅准备去干嘛来着。拉尔斯就说，

Yeah. So now people are gathering in the lobby to go to whatever. And Lars is like,

对。我们都在那儿聊，我就问丽莎，你关注我前任了吗？她回，诺拉克？我又问，诺拉克？她又说，诺拉克？

yeah. So we're all like talking like and I was like, Lisa, did you follow my ex like? She was like, Nolac? And I was like, Nolac? And she was like, Nolac?

我说，你真是个老古董。

I was like, you're a grandpa.

天啊。这下糟了。然后格蒂就说，我的天。所以有短信记录？

Oh god. This is bad. So then Gertie is like, oh my god. So there were text messages?

比如，她有没有...她后来又说了别的还是只说了不？她说不了吗？

Like, did she okay. Did she followed up with something else or did she just say no? Did she say no?

就是，嗯。没有。就是没有。她只说了不。

Like, yeah. No. It was like no. She just said like no.

哦。不。不。告诉我这不是真的。她是这么说的吗？

Oh. No. No. Tell me this didn't happen. Is that what she said?

不。不。

No. No.

她说，

She said,

不。没听懂。

no. Did not follow that.

格蒂喘着粗气，仿佛这是她听过最震惊的事。这是一场权力斗争。现在正在上演的就是这个。这就是我们所说的权力斗争。然后还说，对，这就是权力斗争。

Gertie's gasping like this is the most shocking thing she's ever heard. It's a power struggle. That's what's happening right now. That's a that's that's what we call a power struggle. And saying, yeah, that's a power struggle.

我当时就是这么想的。不。但我还是说出来了。是啊。其实我正打算要说呢。

That's what I was thinking. No. But I said it. Yeah. Well, I was saying I was gonna say it.

不。但我已经做了。不。好吧，我本来要做的。行啊，你厉害。

No. But I did it. No. Well, I was going to. Well, good for you.

不过幸好有位更有影响力的人说出来了，因为这话必须得有人说。懂吗？听着。阿德里亚娜的态度是，我觉得她会按自己的意愿取关。她只是不想被人指手画脚，各位。

But, you know, thankfully, someone with more star power said it because it needed to be said. You know? Listen. And Adriana is like, I think she will unfollow on her own terms. She just doesn't want to be told what to do, everybody.

嗯。

Mhmm.

但有时候人就是该被指挥着做事。

You know, sometimes people should be told what to do though.

好吧？所以格尔德表示，不。这样不对。

Okay? So Gerd is like, no. It's not right.

好了。丽莎，这样是对的。格尔德蟾蜍。你是通过她认识他的。

Okay. It it right, Lisa. Gerd toad. You met him through her.

然后亚历克西斯就说，是啊。我真的不明白你非得关注所有朋友的丈夫有什么意义。真的，我连史蒂夫都没关注。我跟玛丽索尔也是这么说的。

And Alexis is like, yeah. I don't really see the point that you don't have to follow any of your like, that you have to follow any of your friends' husbands. Like, I really don't. Like, I don't even follow Steve. And I'm like, this with Marisol.

我说，是啊，但史蒂夫又不像马库斯·乔丹那样和史上最具标志性的运动员有关系。我不是在替丽莎辩解，但像她这种肤浅的人，要取关马库斯·乔丹这种与超级巨星有关联的人，可比取关史蒂夫难多了。这不会...

I'm like, yeah, but Steve is also not related to, like, one of the most iconic athletes of all time. Not saying that to justify Lisa, but it's, like, saying, like, acting like like you like, it was you know, it's I imagine for someone vapid like Lisa, it's much harder to unfollow someone like Marcus Jordan who has ties to mega stardom than it is for someone to unfollow Steve. It's not gonna

...因为她把这当成墙上的奖杯。懂吗？她就像在炫耀：天啊，我认识超有钱有名的人诶。

be because that's like a trophy on her wall. You know? She's like, oh my god. I know someone's so rich and famous, you guys. Yeah.

就是个奖杯。没错。根本没人关注史蒂夫。我是说，谁会关注史蒂夫？迪克体育用品店可能随手关注了他吧。

It's a trophy. Yeah. No one's following Steve. I mean, who follows Steve? Like, Dick's Sporting Goods probably threw him a follow.

对吧？

You know?

史蒂夫自己都不关注自己。他点开自己的Ins账号，发现根本没人关注他。

Steve doesn't follow Steve. He, like, he goes on Steve's Instagram account. Like, it's like you have no followers.

是啊。

Yeah.

不过，丽莎确实该取关马库斯，但我理解，对她这种人来说没那么容易。

But, but, yeah, I mean, like, Lisa for sure should unfollow Marcus, but I understand, like, it's just that's it's not for someone like that, it's not as easy.

对名利狂来说确实不容易。

For the for Famehoards, it's not easy.

没错。大家多替那些名利狂想想吧。

Yeah. Yeah. Think about the Famehoards, guys.

是啊。想想那些追名逐利的马屁精们，他们就靠这个活着。她不会轻易放弃的。但她应该放弃——她真是个混蛋。

Yeah. Think about Famehoards suck ups, guys. This is, like, what they live for. She's not gonna just give this up. But she should She's an asshole.

她确实该放弃。他们都坐着奔驰商务车去参加心灵弗拉门戈活动，大家都在传朱莉娅为此气疯了。她觉得这是丽莎拉近和拉丽莎关系的伎俩——这倒是真的。玛丽索尔则表示：我不喜欢这样。我强烈建议她别再关注他了。

She should. They all get the Sprinter vans to go to Spiritual Flamenco, and, they're all saying, like, Julia is, like, mad about this. She thinks that this is a way for Lisa to become closer with Larissa, which is true. And Marisol is like, I don't like it. And I I highly encourage her to stop following him.

亚历克西娅还问：凯莉是谁？不，我强烈建议她...凯莉？

And Alexia's like, who's Kylie? No. I highly I highly encourage her. Kylie?

另一辆商务车里的朱莉直接问：好，直说吧。你为什么不取关马库斯？你们觉得当别人指手画脚时，有人会喜欢这样吗？

Who's In the other sprinter van, Julie is like, okay. Straight question. Why are you not unfollowing Marcus? Yeah. Does anyone think like when someone does anybody like when somebody tells them what to do?

不，我讨厌这样。说得好，非常在理。我讨厌被人指挥，因为我很叛逆。

No. I don't like that. That's a good point. That's a very good point. I don't like being told what to do because I'm girty.

向来是我指挥别人，没人能指使我

I tell people what to do. Nobody tells me what

做什么。所以我说，没门。

to do. So I go, no.

但她是作为朋友在询问。不，根本不是友善的询问，她的语气非常非常咄咄逼人。

But she was asking as your friend. No. She wasn't asking as a friend. She was asking very, very aggressively.

问题是丽莎到底是不喜欢被人指使，还是特别讨厌女性来指使她？乔迪经常给她建议，她总是说：好的，我会照做。乔迪说做这个，她就欣然接受。好像她永远乐意听男人的话。

Is it does Lisa not like when someone tells her something to do, or or does she not like it when a woman tells her something to do? Because Jody's always telling her things that she should be doing, and she's like, okay. I'll do that. Jody, do this. Like, she's always, like, happy to hear it from Jody.

我并不是说乔迪在摆布她或盛气凌人，但她确实更愿意接受男性的意见。而当其他女士提建议时，她就：哼，休想。不过公平地说，她可能怀疑剧组每个人的动机。只要剧组有人提出要求，她立刻就会戒备起来，觉得对方别有用心。

And I'm not even saying it like Jody's, like, bossing her around or being domineering, but, like, she's open to hearing things from, like, a man. And yet whenever it's, like, one of the other ladies, she's like, uh-uh. But I guess, to be fair, to counter my own thing, she probably is suspecting the motives of everyone on this cast. And, like, the the moment that someone on this cast asks you to do something, she's, like, already guarded against manipulations. Whatever.

这次是丽莎不对。

Lisa's in the wrong here.

是啊。而且我喜欢节目里已经指出的那个点——拉尔萨当初就是因为不肯取关坎耶、坚持做他朋友，才被卡戴珊家族著名地踢出圈子的，懂吗？所以这就好像...

Yeah. And also, I like that it was already pointed out on the show that Larsa was famously dumped by the Kardashians because she wouldn't unfollow Kanye and stayed his friend, you know? So it's like

确实如此。

That's true.

拉尔萨也挺虚伪的。她来自那种...追名逐利的世界。她最初和马库斯约会纯粹就是为了蹭名气。所以这有点可笑。

Larsa's kind of a hypocrite too. And Larsa comes from this world of, like, fame whoring. That's the only reason she dated Marcus in the first place was to get that get that fame. So it's kinda silly.

玛丽莎，你知道的，那种虐待...虐待循环，她就像在说'这事发生在我身上，所以现在我终于可以施加给别人了'——本质上就是用社交媒体来断绝友谊。就像'我被抛弃是因为没取关某人，所以丽莎也该因为没取关某人被抛弃'。这就是成名的规则？

Marisa, you know, abuse you know, the the cycle of abuse, she's like, well, this happened to me, and so now I finally get to do it to someone else, which is basically, like, you know, use social media as a way to, like, sever a friendship. Like, I was I was discarded because I didn't I didn't unfollow someone, and so therefore Lisa should be discarded because she's not unfollowing someone. This is the rules of being famous.

对。茱莉亚还在那说'换了我这辈子都不会再理他'。拜托妹子，马库斯根本不在乎。你和马库斯更熟些。我是说，这和丽莎的丈夫/男友跟马库斯交朋友出去玩什么的性质不同。

Yeah. And Julia is like, well, for me, I would never speak to him again. Oh, girl, nobody Marcus doesn't care. You're more friends with Marcus. That's I mean, that's a little different than Lisa and her husband or her boyfriend being friends with Marcus and going out with him and stuff.

她还说什么'包括我在内的朋友连给他洗碗都不配'。我都忘了这段视频了。没错。重聚时马库斯说'天呐这些女人连在我们家洗碗的资格都没有，更别说妄想参加比赛了'。天，那家伙真是个烂人。

And she's like, as someone who will say, you know, my friends, you know, including me, are not good enough to wash his dishes. And I forgot about this clip. Yes. Where Marcus at the reunion was saying, god, these women wouldn't even be be able to do dishes at our house, let alone be trying to bring themselves into this comp. God, that guy's such a douche.

确实烂透了。所以丽莎，我敢保证，如果我查查你们关注的人，肯定能找到谁的什么黑料。而茱莉亚...

He really is. So, Lisa, like, I assure you, if I went to anyone who you all follow, I'm sure there's someone some there's something about somebody, whatever. And Julie's

说'但他间接侮辱了你和我们所有人'，然后...

like, but he insulted you indirectly and all of us, and

你们还是关注着他。她就说'茱莉亚你老是打断我，我本来要说的是...'

you still follow him. She's like, well, you keep cutting me off, Julia. What I was going to say is

不。我提起丽莎只是因为你一直在转移话题。你在转移话题。

No. I'm just talking about Lisa because you deflect. You deflect.

各位各位，让她说完，因为我们十年都没听过丽莎的观点了。好吗？丽莎，请说，你有什么观点吗？

Guys, guys, guys, guys, guys, let her finish because we haven't heard Lisa's point in ten years. Okay? Please, Lisa, do you have a point?

你为什么总是一副老板走狗的嘴脸？基思还在那边‘天啊，我们现在不能讨论这个’。但能不能停一停？听着。

Why are you so like a boss's ass anyway? And Keith is like, oh my god. We can't go through this right now. But can we stop? Listen.

我组织的旅行又变成了一场噩梦，所有人都在吼叫。是你在挑起争端。

I organized trip. It is freaking nightmare again, and everybody's yelling. You're starting the fight.

是啊。你非要掺和进这种愚蠢的争吵里。

Yeah. You're inserting yourself into a stupid ass fight.

没错。是你先挑起争吵，又不断升级矛盾。现在她又开始‘我需要休息，停车’这套说辞。

Yeah. You're starting the fight, and you're escalating the fight. And now she's like, oh, I need a break. I need a break. Stop the car.

停车。我做不到因为大家都在我的旅行中吵架。那你就别到处惹事啊。茱莉亚是怎么从完美人设堕落得这么快的？该死。

Stop the car. I can't because everyone is fighting on my trip. Well, stop starting fights with everybody. Julia's the How did Julia go from being so great to being the worst so fast? Shit.

因为上一季大家都在说茱莉亚可能要淘汰了，她没什么表现。你知道她搞歌剧的，如果名利毒害了她，她意识到必须靠作妖才能保持节目存在感。结果他们搞起了所谓灵魂弗拉门戈...

Because last season, people were like, oh, I think Julie's gonna be on the chopping block. She's not doing much. You know, she's doing opera, so she she fame if the fame poison got to her, she realized that she has to be awful to stay relevant on the show. So they get to spiritual, spiritual flamenco, which is

在说灵魂弗拉门戈之前我要爆料。BravoCon活动上全是电视台明星，我通常不会主动搭讪说‘我做相关播客’，更喜欢旁观然后和别人一起吐槽。但茱莉亚当时在场。

You know, let me tell you before we get to spiritual flamenco. So, you know, at BravoCon, there's all these Bravo stars standing around, and I really don't walk up to people like, oh, I do a podcast about that. I prefer to like kinda stand back and just watch everything and make fun of it to other people. That's how I roll. But Julia was there.

我想着既然和茱莉亚同处一个休息区，总该打个招呼。那时候我还喜欢她。结果过去发现她身边围着两个谄媚的男同，像助理似的喊着‘天啊茱莉亚’。

And so I was like, well, Julia is in the same you know, we were both in this like lounge or whatever. So I was like, well, I've got to say hi to Julia. I love Julia because back then I did. So I go up and she's with two fawning gays and, they're like, oh my god, Julia. You know, like her assistants or whatever they were.

于是我就走上前说，嘿，朱莉娅。我是罗尼，主持一档叫《Macho Crapins》的播客。我必须过来打个招呼，因为我超爱你在节目里的表现。结果她用一种‘你他妈为什么跟我说话’的眼神看着我——倒不是说她态度恶劣，

And so I went up and I was like, hey, Julia. My name is Ronnie and I do this podcast called Macho Crapins. And I just have to say hi because I really love you on the show. And she just looked at me like, why the fuck are you talking to me? She just gave me this look like I don't know how like, she wasn't mean.

她只是上下打量了我几眼，然后发出‘哦，嗯哼。嗯哼’的声音。

She just kind of looked me up and down and was like, oh, uh-huh. Uh-huh.

我当时就说，好吧，很高兴见到你。

I was like, okay. Nice to see you.

然后我就走开了。毕竟他们当时在工作场合，通常大家都会很友善——比如阿德里亚娜就特别友好——但她就显得很混蛋。我当时还想，朱莉娅不可能是混蛋，她大概...我确定她没听过《Watch What Crap Happens》这节目对吧？

And I just walked off, you know. Because normally, I mean, they're at work at this thing. And so normally people are very nice, you know, like Adriana was really nice, but she was just kind of an asshole. And I remember thinking, well, Julia's not an asshole. She probably and I'm sure she hasn't listened to Watch What Crap Happens, you know?

要是她听过，肯定会喜欢，因为我们一直站在她那边。所以那次互动就很诡异，她看起来像个混蛋，但按理说应该不是。可看完这季节目后我明白了：你就是个混蛋。彻头彻尾的混蛋。

So and if she had, she would have liked it because we're always on her side. So I was like, that was a weird interaction. She seems kinda like an asshole, but surely she's not an asshole. But then after watching this season, I'm like, you're an asshole. You are an asshole.

我当初就该看出来的。

I should have known it back then.

是啊，有时候当人们向你展现真面目时...

Yeah. Sometimes when people show you who they are

就让他们再展现十次——因为十次里有九次，你都会在饭桌上重蹈覆辙。

Let them show you again 10 times because nine times out of 10, you're gonna be doing it over dinner.

所以当人们展现真面目时，记住他们不是阿莱西亚那样的明星。朱莉娅到场时就怒气冲冲的，然后她还不停地说...

So When people show you who they are, just remember they're not stars like Alexia. So they they arrive, and Julia is like she's so mad and, like, you know, and and and then also Julia is saying, like,

所有事都必须围着我转。我我我我我。

everything is about me. Me. Me. Me. Me.

我。琪琪，你今天分享的内容非常深刻。你讲的那些事，还有你差点因为生蚝吐出来，

Me. And what you shared today, Kiki, was very deep. The things that you shared, also, you almost threw up from Oyster,

那真的很好笑。琪琪就说，是啊，但我们不一样。朱莉娅接着说，你知道，她就是说我们尊重彼此的能量。她有点慌乱。而吉吉说，我真不敢相信我们在为谁吵架。

and that was very funny. And Kiki's like, yeah, but we're different. So Julia's like, you know, she's just saying that we respect each other's energy. She's like in a tizzy. And Gigi's like, I cannot believe we are fighting on who?

在Instagram上取关谁。我说，我也无法相信。但与此同时，这可是丽莎和拉尔萨。所以这很正常。

Unfollow who on Instagram. I'm like, I can't believe it either. And yet at the same time, this is Lisa and Larsa. So it's par for the course.

没错。这完全符合她们的风格。

Yeah. This is right up their alley.

现在是广告时间。该播放Grappins的广告了。

It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Grappins commercial.

你们都知道我们爱维珍航海。这家邮轮公司比拉蒙娜·辛格的T台走秀还要经典。

You already know we love Virgin Voyages. This cruise line is more iconic than Ramona Singer's Runway Walk.

我们说的是全包式服务。WiFi、餐饮、娱乐、团体健身课程，一切全包。没有隐藏费用，没有意外收费。

We're talking all inclusive everything. Wi Fi, dining, entertainment, group fitness classes, everything is included. No hidden fees, no surprise charges.

而且和《山谷》的大部分演员不同，维珍航海的所有旅行都是100%无儿童的。没有吵闹的玩具和哭闹的孩子来淹没海洋的声音。

And unlike most of the cast of the valley, all Virgin Voyages trips are 100% kid free. No room for loud toys and crying kids to drown out the sounds of the ocean.

目的地也很棒。一些亮点包括阿鲁巴、圣卢西亚、纽约、迈阿密、冰岛，还有《甲板之下》的最爱，地中海。

The destinations are amazing too. Some highlights, Aruba, Saint Lucia, New York, Miami, Iceland, and a below deck favorite, The Med.

天啊。那些船太美了。它们非常现代。房间非常豪华。我喜欢里面所有的彩色灯光，还有阳台。

Oh my god. The boats are beautiful. They're so modern. The rooms are just so luxurious. I love all the colored lighting in there, the balconies.

我还特别喜欢它们专为成人体验量身定制，这让我感到无比开心。

I also just love that they are tailored for adult experiences. That makes me so happy.

让维珍邮轮为您打造下一次精彩绝伦的假期之旅。

Make your next vacation a fabulous one with Virgin Voyages.

了解更多详情请访问virginvoyages.com或联系您的旅行顾问。

Learn more at virginvoyages.com or contact your travel advisor.

夏日渐尽，但你知道吗？回归规律生活也挺好。我觉得是时候为新季节更新造型了。我总在寻找新物件来焕新风格，而最佳去处永远是我常去的Wayfair。

Summer is winding down, but you know what? It's good to get back into a routine. And I think it's time to refresh my style for the new season. I'm looking for a lot of new I'm always looking for new stuff to refresh my style, and the best place to do it is where I do it always, Wayfair.

我知道Wayfair正是我进行小规模焕新的首选，无论是办公室还是餐厅用品，我都爱Wayfair的产品。

I know Wayfair is exactly where I go for a nice little refresh, whether it's my office, whether it's some dining room stuff. I love what Wayfair does.

Wayfair太棒了，我从户外用品到室内装饰都用它。最让我满意的是既能负担得起价格，还能享受组装服务，不用自己动手拼装。

Wayfair is great. I use it for the outdoors. I use it for the indoors. One of my favorite things about it is I can afford to get stuff from there and get it put together. So I'm not always having to sit here and put it together.

专业人员会上门组装，成品效果非常非常棒。

People actually will come and put this stuff together, and it all looks so, so good.

Wayfair让实现家居目标变得简单，为每个空间和预算提供无限灵感。

Wayfair makes it easy to tackle your home goals with endless inspiration for every space and budget.

Wayfair海量的户外用品选择，让您轻松找到心仪之选。

Wayfair's huge selection of outdoor items makes it easy to find exactly what's right for you.

以超值价格实现收纳整理、焕新居家、回归常态。立即访问wayfair.com选购全屋好物。

Get organized, refreshed, and back to routine for way less. Head to wayfair.com right now to shop all things home.

那是Wayfair.com。Wayfair，万千风格，装点每个家。

That's wayfair.com. Wayfair. Every style, every home.

我是你们的老朋友尼克·坎农，带来全新播客《深夜尼克秀》。听说你们在感情方面需要些建议？还有谁比我更合适帮忙呢？不开玩笑，我是认真的。

It's your man Nick Cannon. I'm here to bring you my new podcast Nick Cannon at Night. I've heard y'all been needing some advice in the love department. So who better to help than yours truly? Nah, I'm serious.

每周我都会邀请明星好友和顶尖专家，解答你们最私密的情感问题。男友让你头疼？我们帮你支招。对暧昧对象动了真心？先让我们辨明真假。

Every week, I'm bringing out some of my celebrity friends and the best experts in the business to answer your most intimate relationship questions. Having problems with your man? We got you. Catching feelings for your sneaky link? Let's make sure it's the real deal first.

想在卧室增添情趣玩具？咱们敞开了聊。这里是对性爱、现代约会、恋爱关系、友情、暧昧等话题零评判的答疑空间。节目会充满性感、狂野、混乱——想知道多刺激？看了就知道。

Ready to bring toys into the bedroom? Let's talk about it. Consider this a non judgment zone to ask your questions when it comes to sex and modern dating in relationships, friendships, situationships, and everything in between. It's gonna be sexy, freaky, messy, and you know what? You'll just have to watch the show.

别害羞，快来YouTube观看《深夜尼克秀》，或在Wondery应用及其他播客平台订阅。想提前看无广告版？立即加入Wondery Plus会员。

So don't be shy. Join the conversation and head over to YouTube to watch Nick Cannon at night or subscribe on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcast. Wanna watch episodes early and ad free? Join Wondery Plus right now.

现在听到的是西班牙语歌声。

So now we hear singing in Spanish.

灵魂弗拉门戈。

Spiritual Flamenco.

这位导师正在讲解弗拉门戈的疗愈力量——这是种能净化心灵、协调脉轮的情感艺术。她们正被戴上花环，格蒂说'我头太大'，玛丽索尔接话'我也是'，斯蒂芬妮也是，看来我们马上要看到她们四人组团给福特拍广告了。

So they are they're so this this leader is there, and and she tells them about the healing qualities of flamenco and how it's so, like this is, like, a deep emotional art that is, like, gonna cleanse you, and it's gonna align with chakras and everything. And, they are putting getting flowers put around their neck. And Gertie's like, I have a big head. And Marisol's like, me too, and so does Stephanie, which means that I think we're gonna be seeing a commercial soon with Ronnie, Gertie, Stephanie, and Marisol selling Fords.

琪琪正对所有人露胸，格蒂吐槽：'要是每次琪琪露胸我都能在头上放枚硬币，我现在早就是巨型硬币头了。大头。'

So Kiki is flashing her boobs at everyone, and, Gertie's like, if I had a nickel for every time Kiki's flashing somebody and I put it on my head, I would have a gigantic headed nickel head. Big head.

大头。她们都在跳舞，斯蒂芬妮说：'和艾丽西亚这样不吵架相处真好，可能因为我们在跳舞？也许我们该多跳舞，毕竟这是我们一直热爱的。'

Big head. So they're all dancing, and Stephanie's like, it's really nice to, like, hang out with Alexia and, like, not fight because maybe because we're, like, dancing. Like, maybe that's what we should do. We should just, like, dance. That's what we always love.

我们热爱在Showmachute团队的演出中跳舞。天啊，光是跳舞就让我们乐在其中。知道谁最爱跳舞吗？哦，是Masud。

We love doing we love to dance at the show the Showmachute Group. Oh my god. We have so much fun just dancing. And you know who loves to dance? Oh, Masud.

他内心就像个孩子，特别搞笑。

He is like a child at heart. It's hilarious.

天啊，真希望现在能和Masud一起跳舞。我的脚都挪不动了。我太爱Masud了，现在就想随机体验下他胸毛扎牙的感觉。

God. I wish I was dancing with Masud right now. It's so hard to move my feet. I just love Masud. I wish I could get some chest hair in my teeth right now just randomly.

天，我好想他。

God, I miss him.

冷知识：弗拉门戈起源于塞维利亚的吉普赛人，历史上他们长期遭受排斥，而将痛苦情感融入歌舞正是他们文化中的疗愈方式

Fun fact: Flamenco was originated in Seville by the Gatanos, and throughout history, gypsies were always ostracized, and part of their culture is the healing process was to express that pain

把这些情绪倾注在歌声里。谢谢Adriana，你真是万事通。

and that emotion into their song. Thank you, Adriana. Expert on all things.

没错，我爱这个说法。Adriana，我们的全能专家。Sumaya在唱歌时Adriana就会说：对，这个团队需要治愈。

Yeah. I love that. Adriana, resident expert on all things. So Sumaya is singing and Adriana is like, yes. This group needs healing.

我们急需治愈，非常需要。所以很庆幸能来这里。Sumayya则说：我要你们每个人都开口唱，好吗？

We need it. We need it badly. So I'm glad we are here. And Sumayya's like, I want each of you to sing. Okay.

要像这样用心去唱。而我就——

Do it like that with your heart. And I'm like,

Lars第一个上场，她说——

Lars is up first. She's like,

就

Just

就像是，

be like,

亲爱的，一位女士，还没取关马库斯·乔丹。我

dear, a female dear, still hasn't unfollowed Marcus Jordan. I

然后她说，好吧，我很烂，但是

And she's like, well, I suck, but like

其他人也都一样。接着阿德里亚娜可能最接近了，你知道。她说，然后拉斯说，对不起，阿德里亚娜，

so does everybody else. And then Adriana probably gets the closest, you know. She's like, and Lars is like, I'm sorry, Adriana,

但即使你也搞砸了。

but like even you sucked at it.

然后玛丽索尔说，好吧。

And then Marisol's like, okay.

你只是开斋节时表现好。然后丽莎说，莉莉。她们说，天啊。丽莎其实超棒。我当时想，丽莎太厉害了。

You just got good at for eid. And Lisa's like, Lily. And they're like, my god. Lisa was actually amazing. I was like, Lisa was so good.

丽莎的隐藏技能，从弗拉门戈中疗愈。

Lisa's secret skill, healing from flamenco.

是啊。所以现在该准备晚餐了，马苏德打电话来。这段关系在我看来太假太奇怪了。他们好奇怪。

Yeah. Yeah. So now it's time to get ready for dinner and Masood calls. This relationship is coming across as so phony and weird to me. They're so weird.

他们为什么这样？你觉得他们是不是还处在那种想报复前妻的状态，所以每场戏都在折磨这个女人。就像，哦，他给我升级到总统套房，然后所有人都想看我拆开他送来的所有香奈儿盒子？

Why are they like this? Do you think that it's like they're still on the mode where they wanna get revenge at the ex wife so that every scene they're just trying to torture this woman. It's like, oh, he upgraded me to the presidential suite and everybody wanna watch me unwrap all the Chanel boxes he had sent here?

是啊，这表现得太刻意了。

Yeah. It's like very demonstrative.

真奇怪。我不知道。我给他们五分，但也许最后六分吧。我给他们六分。嗯。

It's weird. I don't know. I give them I'm giving them five, but maybe the last six. I'll give them six. Yeah.

我给他们六年时间。基本上他就是，哦，我需要你回来工作，因为我想死你了。我想死你了。我比你想我更想你。

I'll give them six years. So they basically he's like, oh, I need you to come back and do work because I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you more. I miss you even more than you miss me.

我真希望我现在在家对着80个建筑工人大吼大叫。我想死你了，苏德。

I wish I wish I were home right now yelling at 80 construction workers. I miss you so much, miss Sud.

是啊。就像，哦不，我想你。晚上特别孤单。他就说，天啊。

Yeah. It's like, oh, no. I miss you. Got very lonely at nights. He goes, oh my god.

你孤单。呵，我们都知道上次你孤单时干了什么。你找到了我。别再这样了。他说，呃，卵石（Pebbles）现在陪着我呢。

You're lonely. Well, we know what happened last time you felt lonely. You found me. Don't do it again. He's like, well, Pebbles is just with me.

她就像，天啊，卵石。她肯定特喜欢趁我不在和我老公睡觉吧。就像我当初享受和你前妻的老公趁她不在时睡觉一样。天呐。

She's like, oh my god. Pebbles. She must love to be sleeping with my husband while I'm gone. Kinda like I enjoyed sleeping with your ex wife's husband while she was gone. God.

哦，天啊。我太爱你了。

Oh, god. I love you so much.

我爱你。也许你可以帮她重振事业，毕竟她在八十年代有过两三首好歌，然后马斯德之后就再没消息了。去帮帮她吧。于是他们全聚集在大堂。

I love you. Maybe you can, like, revitalize her career because, I mean, she had, like, two or three good songs in the eighties and we haven't heard from her since Masood. Go help her out. So, they all gather in the lobby.

不过她确实喜欢她的麦片。这点我得承认。超爱她的麦片。

Love her cereal though. I'll hand her that. Love her cereal.

女朋友啊。天涯何处无芳草。我说的对吧，马苏德？于是她们都聚在楼下，穿着红色衣服，因为发现除了斯蒂芬妮——她穿了件羽毛小礼服——其他人都穿红色。她看起来像只，嗯，小鸡崽。

Girlfriend. There's other fish in the sea. Am I right, Masood? So they all gather downstairs, and they're wearing red because they realize they all have red except for Stephanie who's wearing, like, this little feather dress. She looks like a little, like, baby chicken.

她们都穿着红色，而她就像

They're all, like, in this red and she's just like

她活像个妓院扫地机。就像你在妓院能找到的那种除尘掸子。简直像

She looks like a Bordello sweeper sweeper. Like a swiffer sweeper you'd find like a duster that you'd find in a Bordello. It's like

刚打完架的鸽子。于是这群穿红裙的去吃饭，亚历克莎说天啊我们像妓女。我说她们确实像妓女。别把想法说出来。

a pigeon that just got into a fight. So they are gonna go to dinner all in red, and Alexa's like, oh god, we look like prostitutes. I was like, think they were prostitutes. Don't show a thought.

后来她们分乘面包车，斯蒂芬妮突然聊起刮毛，说老天我以前有浓密的小胡子。我以前体毛超多。我看着父母质问他们为什么让我留胡子。我的天。难怪我没朋友。

So they split into vans and Stephanie announces they're talking about shaving and Stephanie goes, oh, oh, I had a full blown mustache. Like, I used to have so much hair. Like, I looked at my parents and I was like, why did you let me sport a mustache? Mean, my god. No wonder I didn't have friends.

好吧。那你现在又有什么借口？

Alright. Well, what's your excuse now?

对。我们还看到对比照，她说父母16岁才允许我刮毛，刚开始刮毛他们就说该整鼻子了。我简直震惊。这也太离谱了。

Yeah. And we see, like, before and after, because she said, my parents wouldn't let me shave until I was, like, 16, and then as soon I started shaving, they're like, and now you need a nose job. I'm like, what? Like, what? That's crazy.

对比照里她简直是丑小鸭变天鹅。看看现在的我，美丽的天鹅。难道不觉得吗？我就是最漂亮的小黄人。

And we see before and after, and she's like, I mean, I went from the ugliest child to this, like, beautiful swan. Look at me. I'm just like a gorgeous, gorgeous swan. Doesn't everyone agree? I am just the most beautiful minion of all.

她可真自恋。

She is so full of herself.

于是他们现在去了奥萨马咖啡馆，那里到处都是动物头颅。

So now they go to Cafe Ozama, and there's animal heads everywhere. And

真的吗？哦，布勒当时

Really? Oh, Bueller was

就像在说，我在谈论动物。说到动物头颅。我们准备

like, I'm talking about animals. Speaking of animal heads. Were gonna

让你停下

have You stop

停下。现在不是时候。你还可以再放松一个半小时。

stop it. It is not time for that. You can relax for another hour and a half.

天啊。有人需要打场冰球。我说得对吧？天啊。

Jeez. Someone needs a hockey. Am I right? Jeez.

老天。狗啊。我发誓要遭天谴了。你是在说一只动物吗？你怎么开始抗议了？

Jesus. Dog. I swear to god damns me. Are you talking about an animal? How do you start protesting?

哦，那只罗威纳犬？罗威纳犬还是罗威纳犬的背包？我我不喜欢那样。你没说是在开玩笑，罗尼。朱洛可没在闹着玩。

Oh, the Rottweiler? The Rottweiler or the Rottweiler's backpack? I I don't like that. You didn't say playful, Ronnie. Jullo wasn't being playful.

现在他们开始八卦了。朱莉娅说，灵修活动结束后，我们都回房间？哦对了，电梯里因为乔迪还发生了点口角。

So now they're gossiping. And Julia's like, after spiritual flimica, we're all going back to our rooms? Oh yes, in the elevator there was a little bit of a verbal brawl over Jodie.

是啊，好像有什么事要发生，比如米兰那边？

Yeah, like something is happening, like Milan like?

所以我们看到，拉尔萨现在正在八卦乔迪一直在发短信攻击她。噔噔噔。

And so we see, Larsa is now gossiping that Jodie has been attacking her over texts. Dun dun dun.

是啊。我当时离开米兰时真的很受伤，他对我说，是你让狗仔队在法国南部拍了马库斯的照片。我说，我？我是什么？那个C I A什么的，我连C I是什么都不知道。

Yeah. I was, like, really hurt when I left Milan, he said to me, you're the one that had the paparazzi take the photo of Marcus in the South Of France. And I said, me? Like, what am I? The the the c I c I a, which I don't even know what the c I is.

什么？你以为我是那种戴假发不露脸的流行明星吗？不，我不是。我是拉尔萨。

Like, what? You think I'm like some pop star with a wig who doesn't show her face on the c I? No. I'm not. I'm Larsa.

然后我们又看到马克吸食可卡因的照片。丽莎说，狗仔确实这么告诉我们的，说是你卖了他吸毒的照片。

Then we see a picture of Mark of Marcus snorting the coke again. And Lisa said, well, the paparazzi guy did tell us that. That's what he told us, that you were the one that sold the picture of him doing coke.

她就像在说，好吧，你简直满嘴胡言。

And she's like, okay, well, like, you're full of shit like.

我信了。

I believe it.

我不知道该信谁。你是说拉丽莎拍了照片卖给狗仔？还是通风报信？这很难说，因为一方面我觉得拉丽莎可能会小心眼报复，但另一方面我又不觉得她能策划国际狗仔行动。所以我对这事还没定论。

I don't know what to believe. So you're saying that like Larissa took the photo and sold it to the paparazzo? Or tipped off the paparazzo. It's hard because like there's part of me that thinks that Larissa would be petty and vengeful, but there's also part of me that doesn't feel like Larissa could coordinate an international paparazzi scheme. So I don't really know where I stand on this one.

她说你让狗仔拍了他的照片。所以她可能只是透露了他的行踪，说他正在开派对。但她怎么知道他会游艇上吸毒？不过她当然知道他总在游艇上吸毒。但拉尔萨真会觉得明星吸毒被抓是什么大事吗？

Well, she said you're the one that had the paparazzi take the photo of him. So I mean, I guess she could have just said where he was or whatever and said, like, he's parting. But I guess how would she know that he was gonna do coke on the boat? But then, of course, she would know that he's always doing coke on the boat. But would Larsa really think that's a big deal, a celebrity being caught doing coke?

谁在乎啊？

Like, who cares?

我不...我是说，我能想象拉尔萨会说，去找马库斯拍照，他肯定在哪个游艇上干蠢事。但我也不是完全相信这些突然冒出来的狗仔...对，我看到那张照片了。

I don't I mean, I think I can imagine Larsa saying, like, like, go find like, go take pictures of Marcus. He's probably doing something stupid on a yacht somewhere. But, like, I also, like, don't always trust these paparazzi that, like, pop up and, like, like, yeah. I saw that. Yeah.

我那么做了。狗仔队根本不可信，但人们总在需要八卦时乐意相信他们。丽莎当时说，拉尔斯很生气，我就让他冷静点。然后我走出电梯，拉尔斯还在——

I did that. Like, the paparazzi are, like, not trustworthy, and yet they're always happy to trust them when it serves them, and for gossip. So, Lisa was like Lisa says, like, well so Lars was mad and I was like, calm down. And I walked out the elevator. And Lars was

还没等我反应过来，二十分钟后我的手机就被她男友的短信轰炸了。

like, and before I know it, twenty minutes later, my phone is blowing up with text messages from her boyfriend.

她说，我才不想坐她旁边。我连看都不会看她一眼。更不会跟她说话。

She's like, I wouldn't wanna sit next to her. I would not look at her. I would not like talk to her like.

于是她说，这是——

And so she says, it's

乔迪倒没骂我贱人之类的。但他一直给我发超长的短信。我从没遇到过这种情况。这赛季已经是第二次有人想逼我看东西了，我绝不会妥协。绝对不干。

not like Jody's like calling me a bitch or anything. He's just sending me these really long text messages. And I've never been in this situation before. It's like the second time this season people have tried to make me read things, and I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it.

听着，你是个男人。有事找我男友解决。找我哥我爸都行。别直接针对我。

Like, you're a man. Deal with my boyfriend. Deal with my brother and my dad. Like, not me personally.

听着乔迪。你好啊拉尔萨先生。我很想聊聊拉尔萨的事。

Look, Jody. Hello, mister Larza. I'd love to have a discussion about Larza.

我知道。

I know.

派人偷拍我朋友在游艇上吸毒。

Sending people to take pictures of, my friend doing coke on a boat.

所以拉尔萨，乔迪是在欺负你吗？

So Larsa, was Jody being mean to you?

没有。他骂你贱人了吗？

No. Did he call you a bitch?

没有。他当时是在侮辱人吗？也没有。那问题出在哪儿？

No. Was he being insulting? No. So what was the issue?

他只是发了，呃，超长的短信，就是，特别冗长。

He just sent, like, really long text messages, that's just, like, a lot.

满屏都是字。简直就像，

So many words. It was, like,

文字多到能淹死人。

so many words live.

他倒没攻击我，我觉得没有，但那些字母就像在攻击我。满眼都是字母。

He didn't like attack me, I don't think, but like, I was like attacked with letters. There was like so many letters.

但公平地说，我觉得莉莎和拉尔萨处得不错。自从我们看她俩和好后，莉莎说过拉尔萨做了什么吗？我觉得她们关系挺好的。对吧？我漏掉什么了吗？

But to be fair, like, I thought Lisa and Larsa were good. What are the things that Lisa is saying that Larsa has done since we saw the makeup? I think they've been in a good place. Right? Am I missing something?

她只是还没取关马库斯。对。但拉尔萨即便和好后也从没真正原谅莉莎，因为她表面上说，好吧，我们

She just hasn't unfollowed Marcus. Yeah. But Larsa was never okay with Lisa even after they made up because she was like, okay, yeah, we're

又是朋友了。谢天谢地，我真高兴我们能和好。结果一转身她就说，我还是讨厌莉莎，因为谁能对朋友做出那种事？

like friends again. I'm like so glad we're friends again. Thank God. And then she leaves and she's like, I still hate Lisa because like who could do that to their friend like?

所以她从未...但其实

So she never But really

但丽莎说她之所以没有取消关注，是因为拉丽莎在那顿午餐后做了一些事情。所以我就想，但到底是什么事情让你改变了取消关注马库斯的决定？

but Lisa said the reason why she didn't unfollow is because Larissa has done some stuff since that lunch. And that's why I'm like, but what was the stuff that made you like, walk back your decision to unfollow Marcus?

不，我不知道。天啊，这场争吵太蠢了。不过我还挺喜欢的。好吧伙计们，今天真是他妈太棒了。

No. I don't know. God, this fight's so stupid. I kinda love it though. Well, guys, today has been fucking amazing.

我是说，除了我们俩——这两个蠢货——其他人都相处得很好。看，亚历克西和小头盔头玩得很开心。我和阿德里亚娜甚至也玩得很开心。哇，看看我们，伙计们。这太美好了。

I mean, other than like two of us, like the two stupid people, everybody else is getting along. Mean, look, Alexi and the little helmet head had a good time. Me and Adriana even had a good time. I mean, wow, look at us guys. It's beautiful.

所以谢谢大家。就这样。

So thank you all. There.

哇。太棒了。然后就像闪亮登场。丽莎就，什么？哦我的天啊。

Wow. It's so great. Then it's like bling. And Lisa's like, what? Oh my god.

哦，不。我一小时内必须回复公证人。这是什么情况？天啊。丽莎那边有份关于婚姻财产分割和育儿计划的宣誓书需要马上签字，越快越好。

Oh, no. I need to answer a notary within an hour. What is this? Oh my god. And so she Lisa has there's some sort of affidavit that she needs about her marital settlement and parenting plan that she's supposed to get, like, signed right away, like, ASAP.

她现在急疯了，因为我不知道在国际环境下需要公证时该怎么办。她必须立刻解决这个问题，已经开始情绪崩溃了。

And now she's freaking out because I don't know what you do in this situation if you're international and you need to get a notary. So she needs to figure this out right now, and she's starting to meltdown.

亨利是不是...等等，我以为阿德里安娜说过别担心，我是公证人。但她没这么说，她拒绝了。

Did Henri oh, I love I thought Adriana said, don't worry. Hold on. I'm a notary. But she didn't. She said, no.

别慌。她说，我儿子是公证人，行吗？

No. Don't panic. She said, okay. My son is a notary. Okay?

你要不要发给我儿子？她却说，不是需要当面公证吗？吉吉问丽莎你还好吗，丽莎回答我在处理违法的事情。

Do you wanna send it to my son? And she's like, no. Don't you need to be in front of the notary? And Gigi's like, Lisa, are you okay? She's like, I'm dealing with illegal stuff.

天啊。我得找公证人公证些文件，因为必须提交。我正试图摆脱一场庭审，否则就得提前一天离开，还得为这场庭审花一大笔钱。就像，我必须摆脱它。千万别找不到公证人。

Oh my God. I gotta get something notarized because I have to file it. So like, I gotta get I'm trying to get out of a trial because otherwise I have to leave a day early and I have to spend a lot of money on this trial. It's like, I gotta get out of it. God forbid a notary.

顺便说一下，

So by the way,

希望那个...哦抱歉，你继续说。

hope that Oh, sorry. Go ahead.

我刚查了下。上面说国际用途可能需要美国大使馆或领事馆的认证，或者使用国际认可的远程在线公证服务。

I was just looking up. It says for international use, you may need to seek an authentication to a US embassy or consulate or use remote online notarization services that are recognized internationally.

糟了。或者像你本该做的那样，在离城前搞定，丽莎。但我希望他们能在西班牙找到个公证人，就像...

Uh-oh. Or do it before you leave town like you were supposed to, Lisa. But I hope they find a notary in Spain that's like,

看到了。我看到了。每次他们盖章时都像...

saw it. I saw it. Every every stamp every time they stamp, they're like

总是极其戏剧化，美妙的歌声。所以丽莎正在发脾气，而拉尔斯却像...

It's always extremely dramatic, beautiful singing. So Lisa's having a fit and Lars is like,

哦是啊，随便吧。就像，又一场丽莎的情绪崩溃，我就想我们能不能就他妈好好吃一顿饭，办一场不围绕丽莎的活动？

oh yeah, like whatever. Like, like another Lisa meltdown like, I feel like can we just have like one fucking dinner, like one event that's not about Lisa like?

我的天。这明明是你因为男朋友的关注而生气。这又好到哪去了？

Oh my god. It's about you being mad about a follow of your boyfriend. How is that better?

我不想再吃一顿全是关于丽莎的饭了，所以让它变成关于我的吧。我只想回家。我觉得我只想回酒店。我宁愿叫客房服务什么的。直接回酒店吧，因为感觉整件事都迟到了一整天似的。

I don't wanna have another meal that's all about Lisa, so let's make it about me. I just wanna go home like. I think I just wanna go home like. I think I just rather order room service and this and that and x y z. Just go home, like, to the hotel because it's just like it's coming a whole day late like.

比如，她不为自己的行为向朱莉娅道歉，因为突然之间我在乎这个了。而且我甚至没法问她关于马库斯的事，因为她会把事情闹大。她每天都在扮演受害者，但我才是真正的受害者。所以我要回家，因为我是受害者，我甚至没法告诉你拉尔斯做了什么。她连这个都做不到。

Like, she doesn't apologize to Julia for her behavior because suddenly I care about that. And it's like, I couldn't even, like, ask her about Marcus thing because she blows that up. She plays victim every day, but I'm the real victim here, like. So I'm gonna go home, like, because I'm the victim like, and I can't even tell you what Lars has done. She can't even do it.

我要从这个有毒的环境中抽身，就这样。

I'm gonna remove myself from this toxic situation, like.

是啊。然后丽莎回来了，拉尔斯就说，

Yeah. So Lisa comes back and Lars is like,

对啊，就是，我想在红色之后舔它，因为，我不想让人参与其中。你懂我在说什么吗？就是，我不想再参与其中了。这完全说不通。

yeah, well like, I wanna lick it after the red like, because like, I don't want to like people like part of it like. Like, you know what I'm like saying like? Like, I don't like wanna be a part of it anymore. It's just like it makes like zero like sense like.

就像什么？哦，我要从

It's like what? Oh, I'm gonna remove myself from

你的生活中消失。好吧。就是，你不必考虑其他人，我觉得我不想再和你争论了，或者有任何形式的冲突，我受够了，你总是迟到，这张桌子上的每个人，真的，我觉得每个人都觉得你不是最好的朋友。懂吗？真的。

your life. Okay. Like, you don't like have to like think about like anyone else like like, I feel like I don't like have any more arguing like or like I feel like any type of like situation with you like, I've had it like, you come late like everyone at this table like literally literally, I feel like everyone I feel like literally at this feel like table has said that you're not the greatest friend. Okay? Like, literally.

哦，你现在代表所有人说话了？这就是你在做的事，代表所有人？

Oh, you're speaking for everyone now? That's what you're doing speaking for everyone?

我就是代表所有人。懂吗？而且大家都说，我觉得你

I'm speaking for literally. Okay? And everyone literally said, like, I feel like you

从不回电话。

don't call people back.

我觉得你们大家都把她标记为，一个危险信号。

Like, I feel like you guys all added her as, like, a red flag.

你们还记得吗？就像，你们的红旗里全是红旗。好吧。

Do you remember that, you guys? Like, there were so many red flags in your red flag. Alright.

好的。跟她说吧。直接发自内心地说。别替别人说话。

Alright. Speak to her. Okay. Speak from your heart directly. Like, don't speak for other people.

行。因为我们没心情跟她吵。反正我们还有其他场景安排。别担心。

Okay. Because we are not in the mood to fight with her. Well, we all have other scenes planned for that. Don't worry.

继续吧。

Go ahead.

我们还有整个周末要熬过去呢。所以我这么说。

We've got a whole weekend to get through here. So I'm saying.

我是说。我准备走了。这趟旅行结束了。我要走了。我不想参与其中。

I'm saying. I'm like, I'm gonna go. Like, this trip is done. Like, I'm gonna go. I don't wanna be part of it.

好了。你什么都不用担心。我已经从你生活中消失了。你不需要

Okay. You don't have to worry about anything else. I removed myself from your life. You don't

担心我。对。我受够了。我觉得就这样吧。

have to worry about me. Yeah. Like, I'm done. Like, I feel like I'm done like Okay.

所以你打算毁掉这周的每一天？

So you're gonna ruin every day this week?

不。但她好像毁掉了...她好像毁掉了整个...我觉得我们可以...等等等等。

No. But she like ruined she like ruined like the whole like I feel like we can like x y z.

我做了什么？我做了什么？等等，我要哭了。等等。

What did I do? What did I do? Hold on. I'm gonna cry now. Hold on.

我做了什么？为什么？

What did I do? Why?

我要离开这个有毒的环境。我值得更好的

I'm gonna remove myself from this toxic situation. I'm too good

这种破事。所以她走了。斯蒂芬妮跟她一起离开，丽莎则说，我明明在忙自己的事。我当时正想找个公证人。

for this, like. So she leaves. Stephanie goes with her, and Lisa's like, I was literally minding my own business. Like, I was trying to find a notary.

但我想说，我不想卷入这种有毒的关系。她爱怎样就怎样吧。然后他说，

But I'd like to like, I don't wanna be, like, part of this, like, toxic situation like. She can have it. And he's like,

我现在处理不了这个。我需要个公证人。

I'm not equipped for this right now. I need a notary.

拉尔萨，你为什么让丽莎影响你？你明明是为了

Larsa, why are you letting Lisa get through to you get get to you though? Like, you're here for

我们才来的。不。但她男朋友一直在给我发短信。我生活中不需要她。她在我生命里屁用没有。

us too. No. But, like, her boyfriend's texting me like. Like, I don't need her in my life. Like, she doesn't do this shit for me in my life.

看看，看看，看看。

Like, look like, look like, look like.

天啊。好吧。我现在到场了。

So oh my god. Alright. I'm here now.

什么？什么？不，Yubo。Yubo。不，你先走。

What? What? No Yubo. Yubo. No, you go.

Larsa。好吧。好吧。等一下。我们能快点解决吗？

Larsa. Alright. Alright. Hold on. Can we make this quick?

我的巧克力碎片冰淇淋快送来了。好吗？Larsa，你为什么为什么这样离开？

I got my chocolate chip ice cream coming up. Okay? Larsa, why why are you leaving like this?

不，就像，就像，

No, like, like,

不，感觉像，不，就像，就像，就像，不，不，就像，就像，就像。

no, feel like, no, like, like, like, no, no, like, like, like.

听着。你们还没谈过。这根本说不通。她正在经历一些糟糕的事情，Pips。

Listen. You guys haven't spoken. It's not making any sense. She's going through some hard shit, Pips.

然后Julia过来了，Stephanie说，这并不能改变Jodie不该给她发短信的事实。这不是男生该做的事。Marisol说，等一下。Jodi给你发短信了？天啊。

And Julia comes over and Stephanie's like, that doesn't take away from the fact that Jodie should not be texting her. That's not what boys should do. Marisol's like, wait a minute. Jodi texted you. My god.

所以你电梯事件后马上给Jodi发短信了，Jodi一直在疯狂给她发短信。记得吗？Lisa说，什么？呃，我不知道。就像，Jody告诉我她只是给他发了短信还打了电话。

So you texted Jodi right after the elevator, Jodi's been texting her like crazy. Remember? And Lisa's like, what? Well, I don't know. Like, Jody told me she just texted him and and called him.

就像，我不知道。我该怎么办？我不知道。我不知道。

Like, I don't know. What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I don't know.

是啊。嗯，她不得不拉黑他，因为他一直不停地发短信。

Yeah. Well, she had to block him because he wasn't stopping the texting.

然后拉斯就说，是啊。但是，比如，我在手机上把他拉黑了，就像，我把他屏蔽了，真的。

And Lars is like, yeah. But, like, I blocked him, like, on my phone like. I blocked him, like.

等等，发生了什么？我得看看全部内容，这些可精彩了

What wait. What's happened? I need to see everything because these are good

短信内容。你应该把它们贴在墙上的某个地方。

text messages. You should put them up on a wall somewhere.

于是她给姑娘们看了短信，格蒂就说，哦。这些是短信。这些确实是短信。我亲眼看到的官方短信。

So they she shows the text to the girls and Gertie's like, oh. Those are texts. Those are texts. Those are officially texts. I saw them.

这些是从别人手机发到这部手机上的文字，而且是绿色的气泡，说明很可能就是他发的。是对方发的。不是这部手机发出的。我现在就能告诉你，这就是我们所说的短信。欢乐时光。

They are words on a phone that came from somebody else's phone, and it's green, which means that it's probably him. It's the other person. It's not coming from this phone. I can tell you right now, this is what we call a text message. Good time.

太荒唐了。这节目简直离谱到家了。

So much silliness. This show is fucking ridiculous.

笑死我了。天呐。爱了爱了。感谢大家的参与。太有趣了。

It's so funny. My god. Love it. Everyone, thanks for being here. How funny.

是啊。这节目太棒了。

Yeah. What a good show.

谢谢各位。我们真的很爱你们。快去Patreon上看看《盐湖城娇妻》预告片里的那些乡巴佬，我们下次再聊。另外今晚太平洋时间下午4点亚马逊直播见。到时候见啦各位。

Thanks everybody. We sure love you guys. Go check out The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City trailer trash over on Patreon, and we will talk to you next time. Also tonight, Monday, 4PM Pacific time over on Amazon live. We'll see you there everybody.

拜拜。

Bye.

再见。《Watch What Crapins》节目衷心感谢我们的尊贵赞助商。无人能及Alison King的风采，Alison Block永远充满派对氛围。我们的方式就是Amber的方式。

Bye. Watch What Crapins would like to thank its premium sponsors. Ain't no thing like Alison King. It's always a party on Alison Block. Our way is the Amber way.

这是《Foster与速度》。这是Amanda Foster。与Ashley Otto合作总是那么自然而然。让我们为Carly Clapp鼓掌。

It's the Foster and the Furious. It's Amanda Foster. It's always automatic with Ashley Otto. Put your hands together for Carly Clapp.

与Chrissy Offutt迈出正确的一步。她不只是Sheila，她是Daniella。Echols。我们从不漏接她的电话。

Get on the right foot with Chrissy Offutt. She's not just a Sheila. She's a Daniella. Echols. We never miss her call.

这是Diane Call。

It's Diane Call.

Erin McNicholas。她绝不会错过Notricolas。

Erin McNicholas. She don't miss Notricolas.

Abba Nagila Weber。

Abba Nagila Weber.

你永远躲不开Heidi Eleanor Jones。我走，你走，我们都为Hugo走。Jamie，她的名字毫不逊色。

You'll never hide from Heidi Eleanor Jones. I go, you go, we all go for Hugo. Jamie, she has no less namey.

她是我们喜欢的那种混乱。这是Jennifer Messer。与Jessica Trutch共饮苏格兰威士忌。

She's our kind of mess. It's Jennifer Messer. Sip some scotch with Jessica Trutch.

她是我们最喜爱的主播，Caroline Peacock。

She's our favorite streamer, Caroline Peacock.

Kristen the Piston Anderson。让Lacey B为你增添些活力吧。

Kristen the Piston Anderson. Get a bee in your bonnet with Lacey B.

顺其自然吧，劳伦·西尔斯比。

Whatever will be will Lauren Silsbee.

带来放克风的是莱斯利·普朗克特。

Bringing the funk, it's Leslie Plunkett.

她得到了我们给的名字。

She gets a name from us.

这是林赛·B。让我们给丽莎·利诺一个飞吻。清新如雏菊的是梅西·麦克亨利。我们喜欢她加冰的样子。这是梅丽莎·考克斯。

It's Lindsey B. Let's give a Kisserino to Lisa Lino. Fresh as a daisy, it's Maisie McHenry. We love her on the rocks. It's Melissa Cox.

梅根·伯格，你不能没有

Megan Berg, you can't have

没有伯格的汉堡。

a burger without the Berg.

这是与米歇尔·薇薇安共度的生活。

This is Livin' with Michelle Vivian.

我爱死你了奥利维亚·威廉姆森。比弗兰德森更美味的是瑞秋·曼德森。她确实

I love a you Olivia Williamson. Tastier than Flandersen, it's Rachel Manderson. She sure is

很棒。这是拉奎尔。

swell. It's Raquel.

是的。我们能做到。这是塞达娜。

Yes. We canna. It's Sedana.

与香农·斯佩尔曼一起施法。让我们和莎伦·埃尔德里奇分享。

Cast a spell with Shannon Spellman. Let's share with Sharon Eldridge.

太对了。是蒂皮。

Darn Skippy. It's Tippy.

还有我们的超级尊贵赞助商。她是VVIP。是阿曼达·V。和艾米·鲍德温在一起绝不会输。

And our super premium sponsors. She's VVIP. It's Amanda V. Can't lose when you're with Amy Baldwin.

谁给我们来10cc的贝琪医生。

Somebody get us 10 cc's of Betsy MD.

我们将与布伦达·席尔瓦一起夺金。

We're taking the gold with Brenda Silva.

让我们和凯特琳·奥尼尔来点真实的。

Let's get real with Caitlin O'Neil.

别对克里斯汀·佩珀发火。没有艾米丽的小菜就吃不成饭。

Don't get salty with Christine Pepper. Can't have a meal without the Emily sides.

谁，什么，为什么，哪里，还有格温·彭德兰。

Who, what, why, where, and Gwen Pendland.

让我们和盖伊·塔布斯一起走进树林。

Let's go into the woods with Guy Tubbs.

是我们的女王。是莱法女王。

It's our queen. It's queen Laifa.