274 - 业主协会

大家好，我是杰弗里·克莱纳。你可能知道《欢迎来到夜谷》会进行现场巡演。我们已经完成了七次这样的巡演。事实上，如果你从未看过这些巡演，或者即使看过也想重温，我们现在在nightvale.bandcamp.com上为你提供了现场录音。

Howdy. Jeffrey Kraner here. You probably know that Welcome to Night Vale does live tours. We've done seven of those tours. In fact, if you never got to see these tours or even if you did and you want to relive them, we have live recordings available to you right now over at nightvale.bandcamp.com.

你可以找到这七场不同的现场表演，包括我们最近的演出《阁楼》。我们还有一些一次性活动，比如我们激动人心的冒险小时跨界秀、我们首次现场演出公寓，以及辩论赛。这些专辑只需5美元，而且非常有趣。所以在我们巡演间隙，用我们的现场专辑来打发时间吧。网址是nightvale.bandcamp.com。

You can find those seven different live show performances, including our most recent show, The Attic. We've also got some one off events like our thrilling adventure hour cross over show, our first ever live show condos, as well as the debate. These albums are only $5, and they're so much fun. So while we're between tours, tide yourself over with our live albums. That's nightvale.bandcamp.com.

嘿，各位。我是杰弗里·克莱纳。夜谷将在九月和十月上路，表演我们最新的现场秀《血林谋杀之夜》，由塞西尔·鲍德温、西姆芬尼·桑德斯、迪斯帕里申和我主演。我们还将与音乐嘉宾一起巡演，九月是Adult Mom，十月是艾琳·麦基翁。所以明天9月16日来亚特兰大看我们，或者17日来坦帕。

Hey, y'all. It's Jeffrey Craner. Nightvale is on the road in September and October performing our newest live show, murder night in Blood forest, starring Cecil Baldwin, Symphony Sanders, Disparition, and me. We're also touring with musical guests, Adult Mom in September and Erin McKeon in October. So come see us in Atlanta tomorrow, September 16, or Tampa on the seventeenth.

然后我们将从10月22日在奥斯汀重新上路，一路经过达拉斯、俄克拉荷马城、劳伦斯、圣路易斯、印第安纳波利斯、多伦多，最后在万圣节之夜于底特律摇滚城结束。《血林谋杀之夜》是夜谷对俗气的八十年代砍杀电影的演绎，非常有趣。你不需要对夜谷有任何了解就能玩得开心。所以请查看welcometonightvale.com/live获取所有日期和门票。我们迫不及待想见到你。

Then we'll be back on the road starting October 22 in Austin, working our way up through Dallas, Oklahoma City, Lawrence, Saint Louis, Indianapolis, Toronto, and finishing up in Detroit, Rock City on Halloween night. Murder night in Blood Forest is Night Vale's take on, like, cheesy eighties slasher flicks, and it's so much fun. You don't need to know a single thing about Night Vale to have a great time. So check out welcome to nightvale.com/live for all dates and tickets. We cannot wait to see you.

还有一件事，《夜谷》桌面角色扮演游戏现已面世，由Renegade Games设计，并听取了我们的意见和写作。感谢所有支持者让这个游戏得以启动。如果你还没有拿到副本，如果你没有支持这个游戏，它已经可用了。去你当地的游戏商店询问，或者在你购买桌面游戏的任何地方在线获取。如果你一直想进入夜谷的世界，准备好深入其中吧。

One more thing, the knight veil tabletop role playing game is now out in the world designed by Renegade Games with our input and writing. Thank you to all of our backers that got this game launched. And if you haven't gotten your copy yet, if you didn't back the game, it's available. Go ask your local game store about it or get it online wherever you buy your tabletop games. If you've always wanted to enter the world of Night Vale, get ready to dive in.

不需要任何RPG知识。游戏附有指南、预生成角色、预生成冒险、

No knowledge of RPGs necessary. The game comes with guides, pregenerated characters, pregenerated adventures,

全部

all

这些内容能帮你入门。如果你是资深RPG玩家，你肯定知道该怎么做。好了，我想就这些。嘿，谢谢。

of that to help you get started. And if you're super RPG experienced, you'll know exactly what to do. Okay. I think that's it. And, hey, thanks.

不要让完美成为优秀的敌人。优秀已经有够多敌人了。欢迎来到夜谷。沙漠溪住宅区的居民正在抗议社区意外出现的业主协会。众所周知，沙漠溪历来是一片不受任何社区标准约束的主权土地，这里的人们无法无天，以对规章制度自豪地厌恶著称，这些街道和房屋主要靠他们珍视的无政府主义原则维系在一起。

Don't let perfect be the enemy of good. Good already has enough enemies. Welcome to Night Vale. Residents of the Desert Creek Housing Development are protesting the unexpected arrival of a homeowners association in the neighborhood. As many of you are aware, Desert Creek has historically been a sovereign land unfettered by community standards of any kind, a lawless people with a proud aversion to rules and regulations, a collection of streets and houses held together mainly by the principles of anarchy which they hold dear.

不出所料，即将强制加入业主协会的通知引发了强烈反对。沙漠溪主要以奈特维尔小学和那栋不存在的房子所在地闻名，如今正迅速获得社会动荡温床的新名声。居民西沃恩·阿兹达克——《每日日报》前戏剧评论家——一直带头反对新业主协会，主要方式是在社区张贴充满尖锐批评的传单。她最近的一张传单写道：'一个迎合最低俗品味的陈腐、缺乏创意的失败机构'，并继续写道：'他们所谓的社区外展活动枯燥乏味，邀请参加所谓的邻里答谢街区派对充其量是拾人牙慧，最糟则是令人尴尬到无地自容。'

The announcement that they will soon be required to join an HOA has been met, unsurprisingly, with backlash. Known primarily for being the location of the Knightville Elementary School and the house that doesn't exist, Desert Creek is quickly gaining a new reputation as a hotbed of social unrest. Resident Siobhan Azdak, former theater critic for the Daily Journal, has been leading the charge against the new HOA mainly by posting flyers filled with scathing critiques of the new organization. A trite, uninspired flop of an institution that panders to the lowest common denominator, one of her recent flyers read. It continued: Their attempts at community outreach are an ordeal in tedium, and their invitations to the so called neighborhood appreciation block party are derivative at best and an abysmal embarrassment at worst.

零星评价，不惜一切代价避开这个协会。尽管尚不清楚业主协会的实际成本或收益如何，但大多数沙漠溪居民已毫不犹豫地表达了先发制人的愤怒、预期性的尖刻批评和灾难性的预测。'如果我不得不修剪草坪怎么办？'一个声音在正午的空气中哀号。'如果他们带走我的宠物怎么办？'

Zero stars avoid this association at all costs. Though it is yet unknown what the actual cost or benefit may be to homeowners, most Desert Creek inhabitants have expressed no hesitation at preemptive uproar, anticipatory vitriol, and catastrophic predictions. What if I have to mow my lawn? A voice wailed in the noonday air. What if they take my pets away?

一位养了37只鬣蜥的人抽泣着说。'如果他们告诉我必须修理篱笆，或者不能把废弃的游轮停在车道上怎么办？'麦克斯韦·沃瑟船长一边 lamented，一边在尘土飞扬的街道上鸣响他的旧雾号。当被问及为何如此担忧，毕竟他并不居住在沙漠溪时，沃瑟船长回答说，他做了自己的研究，下一个目标就是郊狼角。现在让我们来看看交通情况。

Someone with 37 iguanas sobbed. What if they tell me I have to fix my fence or that I can't have an abandoned cruise ship parked in my driveway? Captain Maxwell Werther lamented as he rang his old foghorn through the dusty streets. When questioned why he was so concerned about this as he does not reside in Desert Creek, Captain Werther replied that he had done his own research and that they were coming for Coyote Corners next. Let's have a look at traffic.

你听到的第一个声音是喇叭的鸣响、轮胎的尖叫、玻璃的破碎。你看到了隧道尽头的亮光，一个字面意义上的隧道，位于老高速公路67和68英里标记之间，那是你一直孵化的地方。你从寂静的黑暗中 emerge，进入了一个明亮而混乱的世界。司机们看到你出现时尖叫着急转弯，孩子们从车窗指着你并突然大哭。当你穿过铁轨时，一列火车脱轨了。

The first thing you ever heard was the honking of horns, the screeching of tires, the breaking of glass. You saw a light at the end of the tunnel, a literal tunnel, the one between Mile Marker 67 And 68 on the old highway where you'd been incubating. You emerged from the quiet darkness into a world of bright chaos. Drivers screamed and swerved when they saw you coming, children pointed from car windows and burst into tears. A train derailed as you crossed the tracks.

你不理解这些反应。你什么都不理解，因为你对这个世界太陌生了，但你能立刻感觉到自己与众不同。你知道自己是危险的，尽管你内心只感到温柔。在那次经历之后，你再次将自己隐藏在隧道的黑暗中，你喝泥水，吃苔藓和真菌，尽管你想要肉和水果。你躲藏起来，因为你知道你的存在令人不安，有时甚至对居住在这个世界上的其他人是致命的。

You didn't understand these reactions. You didn't understand anything because you were so new to the world, but you could sense right away that you were different. You knew you were dangerous even though you felt only tenderness within you. After that experience, you hid yourself in the darkness of the tunnel once again, you drank muddy water, you ate moss and fungus even though you wanted meat and fruit. You stayed out of sight because you knew your existence was upsetting, sometimes even fatal to the others who populated this world.

你的一生都在努力保护他人的安全。但现在，你老了。现在，你即将离世。你对那一天的记忆，对你在世界上度过的那些分钟的记忆，让你充满渴望。你记得新鲜的空气、晴朗的天空和阳光，脸上感受到的温暖胜过一切，你比什么都想再次感受那种感觉。

Your whole life was spent trying to keep others safe. But now, you're old. Now, you're dying. And your memory of that day, of those minutes you spent in the world fill you with longing. You remember the fresh air and the clear sky and the sun, the warmth on your face more than anything you want to feel that again.

用尽最后一丝力气，你做了一个决定。你生于车流，也将归于车流。体育方面，高中足球赛季正火热进行中，夜谷蝎子队将于周五晚上迎战地区新秀绿洲谷看守人队。没人知道绿洲谷在地图上的位置，但他们在球场上作为诡异小怪胎的名声是众所周知且备受尊敬的。尼克·泰勒纪念小吃摊的所有收益将捐给尼克·泰勒汽车修理卓越纪念奖学金基金。

With the last of your strength, you make a decision. You were born into traffic, and to traffic you will return. In sports, the high school football season's heating up, with the Night Vale Scorpions playing district newcomers the Oasis Gulch Cripkeepers on Friday night. No one knows where Oasis Gulch is on a map, but their team's reputation for being spooky little freaks on the field is well known and highly respected. All proceeds from the Nick Teller Memorial concession stand will go toward the Nick Teller Memorial Scholarship Fund for Excellence in Autoshop.

嘿，我还活着呢，为什么大家都以为我死了？AP汽车修理课老师尼克·泰勒对此公告评论道，但没有人理会他或回答他的问题。现在回到沙漠溪的争议。街道被封锁，帐篷正在搭建，空气中飘荡着烟雾的气味。一条横幅展开，欢迎居民参加由新业主协会赞助的邻里感恩街区派对。

Hey, still alive over here, why does everyone keep thinking I'm dead? AP AutoShop teacher Nick Teller remarked at this announcement, no one acknowledged him or answered his question. Now back to the controversy in Desert Creek. Streets are being blocked off, tents are being set up, the scent of smoke is wafting through the air. A banner unfurls welcoming residents to the Neighborhood Appreciation Block Party sponsored by the new HOA.

这是个陷阱！当地房主梅肯·克拉克在龙舌兰与荆棘街角反复大喊。小心！一个戴着盖伊·福克斯面具的女人从周边附近的灌木丛中对路人嘶嘶地说。正在遛她37只鬣蜥的坎迪·朗费罗停下来查看情况。

It's a trap! Area homeowner Macon Clark shouted over and over from the corner Of Agave And Thorn. Beware! A woman in a Guy fox mask hissed at passersby from the bushes near the perimeter. Candy Longfellow, who was out walking her 37 iguanas, stopped to investigate.

看起来里面有西瓜片，她说着，窥视着封锁线后面。我的宝贝们喜欢西瓜。37条小舌头伸向空中，品尝着水果麝香的分子。74只眼睛因渴望而快速眨动。我就进去一下马上出来，她说着，弯腰钻过木制锯木架，而众多抵制者试图在旁通过哼唱加斯·布鲁克斯的《低处之友》并在空中挥舞活蛇来恐吓她。

Looks like they have watermelon slices in there, she said, peering beyond the blockade. My babies love watermelon. 37 small tongues flicked into space, tasting molecules of fruit musk. 74 eyes blinked rapidly with desire. I'll just stop by real quick, she said, ducking past the wooden sawhorses while numerous boycotters tried to intimidate her from the sidelines by humming Garth Brooks' friends in low places and waving live snakes in the air.

更多居民聚集在街区派对外围，有些是为了加入抗议，有些只是好奇的旁观者。也许我们应该先弄清楚他们想要什么，这样我们才知道该为什么生气，有人建议道。我更喜欢猜，另一个人咕哝道。他们里面有个魔术师！又一个人喊道。

More residents gathered outside the block party, some to join the protest, some only as curious onlookers. Maybe we should find out what they want first, so we can know what to be mad about, someone suggested. I prefer guessing, someone else muttered. They have a magician in there! Another person shouted.

这导致一波居民突破了警戒线，因为夜落镇居民最爱的莫过于魔术师了。他们简直为之疯狂，即使是一个明显紧张、不停掉下试图藏入手掌的硬币的生日派对魔术师。很快，街区就挤满了边吃零食边聊天、违背集体意愿玩得开心的邻居们。这不会有好结果的，一位嘴里塞满了土豆沙拉的不愿透露姓名的居民说道。在咀嚼声中，他继续说道。

This caused a wave of residents to breach the perimeter as there is nothing Nightfell citizens love more than a magician. They just go wild for them, even a visibly nervous birthday party magician who keeps dropping the coin he was trying to palm. Soon the block was filled with snacking, chatting neighbors having fun against their collective will. No good can come of this, said one anonymous resident whose mouth was full of potato salad. In between noises they continued.

我听说沙原有个业主协会，他们让会员穿托加袍、吞活金鱼、玩饮酒游戏、当众出丑。正在和希沃恩·阿兹达克玩玉米洞游戏的梅肯·克拉克大声说，我听说红岩那边有个协会，要求整个社区的人余生都必须倒着说话，否则就没收他们的房子。正忙着给37个长满鳞屑的下巴擦西瓜汁的坎迪·朗费罗评论道，还有镇上那个公寓小区的协会，每月举行一次雪莉·杰克逊式的抽签活动，以便为新住户保留空间。我自己可能会搬去那里，这取决于这里的最终结果。一位站在众人身后的老妇人补充说，我听说弗米利恩瀑布那边有个付费电话，可以用它和死者通话。

I heard of an HOA in Sand Plains where they made folks dress in togas and swallow live goldfish and play drinking games and humiliate themselves in public. Macon Clark, who was playing cornhole with Siobhan Azdak, howled, I heard one out in Red Mesa, where they make everyone in the neighborhood talk backwards for the rest of their lives, else they take their houses away. Candy Longfellow, who was busy wiping watermelon juice from 37 scaly chins, remarked, And there's the one at that condo complex here in town that does a Shirley Jackson style lottery once a month to keep space open for new residents. I might move there myself, depending on how things end up here. I heard there was a payphone out in Vermillion Falls where you can speak to the dead, added an old woman who was standing behind everyone.

坐船游览，坐船游览，一便士十次，韦瑟船长喊道，他把废弃的游轮拖到了相邻的停车场，想从聚集的人群中获利。更多人向谈话中加入了他们自己的想法和公告，但越来越偏离主题，而且通常与业主协会无关。本事件后续进展将持续报道。国际新闻方面，卢夫特纳普海岸附近出现了一个新国家。它于昨天当地时间凌晨4点35分具体化，最初是由一位在海湾捕捞冷水鳗鱼的渔民和他的儿子通过无线电呼叫报告的。

Boat rides, boat rides, 10 for a penny, called out Captain Werther who had towed his abandoned cruise ship to an adjacent parking lot to capitalize on the gathering crowd. More people contributed their own thoughts and announcements to the conversation, but they were increasingly off topic and generally not related to the HOA. More on this story as it develops. In international news, a new country has appeared off the coast of Luftnarp. It materialized at 04:35AM local time yesterday, first reported via radio call by a fisherman and his son trawling the bay for cold water eel.

这个新生国家最初以一座岩石岛的形式出现。岛上有七棵树，全是落叶松。每棵松树上都有一个巢，每个巢里都有一枚蛋。自那不起眼的开端以来，该岛迅速扩张，如今已成为多种动植物的家园，其中包括有着风俗传统的人类，他们的货币由精心烘烤的酥皮面团制成。他们的官方语言是美学语，主要出口商品是设计师运动服。

The fledging nation initially took the form of a rocky island. It had seven trees, all larches. Each larch had a nest and each nest had an egg. Since those humble beginnings, the island has expanded rapidly and is now home to a variety of flora and fauna including human beings with customs and traditions and a currency made of delicately baked phyllo dough. Their official language is aesthetician, their main export is designer tracksuits.

该国没有名称或管理机构，但他们确实在筹建一家奥乐齐超市。现在插播一条赞助商信息。戒指糖。你是否曾想过吃掉自己的珠宝？是否感到一种无法抑制的欲望，想去舔、嚼、用牙齿咬碎珍贵的矿物？

The country has no name or governing body, but they do have an Aldi supermarket in the works. Now a word from our sponsor. Ring pops. Have you ever wanted to eat your own jewelry? Felt the insatiable desire to lick and chew and smash precious minerals apart with your teeth?

直接从手指上啃下宝石，在嘴里嚼碎，吞下所有闪亮的碎片，直到你的内脏镶满bling。像一只生活在矿井里的珠宝吞噬兽一样，吞食红宝石、祖母绿和钻石，周围的环境只被你咀嚼时闪耀的糖果色爆炸所照亮？戒指糖，宝贝。现在回到沙漠溪业主协会赞助的街区派对。虽然尚未发现业主协会的人类代表，但有一个信息桌，上面放着一叠爱好者杂志。

Just gnaw the gemstones right off your fingers and crush them up in your mouth, swallowing down all the sparkly shards until your innards are studded with bling. Devour rubies and emeralds and diamonds like a bauble eating beast that lives in a mine, your surroundings lit only by the glittering candy colored explosions of your own mastication? Ring pops, baby. Now back to the HOA sponsored block party in Desert Creek. Though no human representatives for the HOA have been spotted yet, there is an information table with a stack of zines.

这些杂志用再生羔羊皮印刷，并用一把匕首固定。开头写道：我们不是普通的业主协会。你不会被要求修理东西或粉刷房屋，对植物、宠物、车辆或邮箱装饰没有任何限制。我们实际上相当随和，不太以规则为导向。我们收取的资金将用于有趣的事情——派对、美好时光、更好的生活、更光明的未来、真正的自由、铲子、很多铲子，以及为每个人准备的挖掘工具。

The zines are printed on recycled lambskin and held in place with a dagger. We are not your average HOA, the scene begins. You will not be required to fix things or paint your house, there will be no restrictions on plants or pets or vehicles or mailbox decor. We are actually pretty laid back and not super rules oriented. The money we collect will go toward fun stuff parties, good times, a better life, a brighter future, true freedom, shovels, a lot of shovels, and digging tools for everyone.

杂志的其余部分似乎是涂鸦漫画和尴尬诗歌。那叠杂志旁边有一个魔法八球，上面贴着一张纸，写着：解答所有问题。邻居们围拢过来。费用会很高吗？梅肯·克拉克问道。

The rest of the zine appears to be doodle comics and cringe poetry. Next to the stack of zines is a magic eight ball with a piece of paper taped to it that reads, For all questions. The neighbors crowded round. Will it be very expensive? Macon Clark asked.

不，魔法八号球说。众人欢呼起来。'会有关于爱彼迎的规则吗？'戴着盖伊·福克斯面具的女人问道，她同时做着按佣金计费的电话销售工作，并通过出租装修好的地下室赚取额外收入。没有，魔法八号球说。她松了一口气。

No, said the Magic eight Ball. Everyone cheered. 'Are there going to be rules about Airbnb's?' asked the woman in the Guy Fawkes mask, who also works a commission only job as a telemarketer and makes side income renting out her finished basement. Nope, said the magic eight ball. She sighed in relief.

我会找到真爱吗？站在所有人后面的老妇人问道。迹象表明会的，八号球宣称，人群都为这位将近100岁、除曾与弗米利恩瀑布一个闹鬼付费电话那端的无形声音有过短暂恋情外从未恋爱过的老妇人感到高兴。我想我们都白担心了，坎迪·朗费罗承认道，她说话时忍不住咯咯笑，她的宠物像一件活蜥蜴服一样在她全身爬行。整件事让我觉得做作又业余，剧院评论家西沃恩·阿兹达克不满地说，她最擅长用负面词汇表达自己。

Will I ever find true love? Asked the old woman who was standing behind everybody. Signs point to yes, the eight ball proclaimed and the crowd was very happy for the woman, who was almost 100 years old and had never been in love aside from a brief romance she'd once had with a disembodied voice on the other end of a haunted payphone in Vermillion Falls. I guess we were all worried for nothing, acknowledged Candy Longfellow, who giggled uncontrollably between words as her pet scrawled all over her body like a living lizard suit. The whole thing feels contrived and amateurish to me, huffed theater critic Siobhan Azdak, who expressed herself best in negative terms.

有人问沃瑟船长怎么想，但他已经开船离开了。更多内容将在公共卫生部门的插播之后继续。哇，你膝盖后面那个奇怪的皮疹是什么？看起来挺痒的，朋友。看起来超级不舒服。

Someone asked Captain Werther what he thought, but he'd already sailed away. More on this after a word from the public health department. Woah, what's that weird rash behind your knee? Looks pretty itchy, my friend. Looks uncomfortable AF.

呃，看起来还在扩散。你去检查过吗？可能是某种过敏。你做过过敏测试吗？超级简单的。

Ew, looks like it's spreading too. Have you had that checked out? Could be an allergy of some kind. Have you ever had an allergy test? It's super easy.

你只需要去医生办公室，他们给你接上电极，问你一系列关于你童年的深入问题，当你开始哭的时候，他们用塑料载玻片采集你的眼泪样本，在显微镜下观察，准确找出你对什么过敏，然后不管是什么，他们都建议你开始服用葡萄籽提取物和本地蜂花粉。同时，用些炉甘石洗液处理那个皮疹。以上是公共卫生部门的信息。沙漠溪业主协会街区派对突发新闻。出现了一个十人小组，手拉手在人群中行走。

You just go into your doctor's office, they hook you up to electrodes, ask you a series of penetrating questions about your childhood and when you start crying, they take a sample of your tears on a plastic slide and look at it under a microscope and figure out exactly what you are allergic to, then no matter what it is, they recommend that you start taking grape seed extract and local bee pollen. In the meantime, get some calamine lotion for that rash. This has been a message from the public health department. Breaking news from the Desert Creek HOA block party. A group of 10 individuals has appeared, holding hands and walking among the crowd.

他们没有穿衣服，但被瀑布般长而飘逸、饰有树枝和树叶、从未修剪过、像婚纱拖尾一样在地上拖行并边走边收集更多树枝树叶的头发得体地遮盖着。他们容光焕发且平静，微笑点头，戴着帽子，每顶风格都不同。我们是业主协会，他们用音乐般的声音低语。他们边走边伸出帽子。是时候收会费了，他们叹息道。

They do not wear clothing, but are modestly covered by a cascade of long flowing hair adorned with twigs and leaves, hair that has never been cut, and trails behind them on the ground like wedding trains collecting more twigs and leaves as they walk. They are radiant and calm, they smile and nod, they wear hats, each of a different style. We are the HOA, they murmur in musical voices. They hold out their hats as they walk. It is time to collect the dues, they sigh.

多少钱？梅肯·布莱尔怀疑地问。过真正自由的生活对你来说值多少，就是多少，其中一人说。太贵了！西沃恩忍不住喊道。

How much? Asked Macon Blair suspiciously. Whatever it is worth to you to live a life of true freedom, one said. Overpriced! Siobhan couldn't help yelling.

但这些钱到底用在了什么地方？坎迪·朗费罗的一只会说话的鬣蜥问道。许多声音开始争相提议资金应该用在何处。建一个社区游泳池怎么样？有人提议。

But what does the money actually go toward? Asked one of Candy Longfellow's iguanas, the one who could talk. Many voices began competing to suggest where the funds should go. What about a community swimming pool? Someone asked.

我们可以种树！有人建议道。免费披萨星期五，一个年轻的声音喊道。装个公用电话可能不错，一位老妇人的声音从人群后方某处传来，一个虽然断线但偶尔还能用的那种。钱已经花掉了，业主协会的一名成员说道，低头看着自己伸出的手臂，仿佛在对停在那里的蝴蝶说话。

We could plant trees! Someone proposed. Free pizza Friday, a young voice shouted. A payphone might be nice, an old woman's voice pined from somewhere behind everyone, one that's disconnected but still works sometimes anyway. The money has already been spent, one of the HOA members said, looking down at her outstretched arm as if speaking to a row of butterflies that was perched there.

但花在什么上了呢？那只词汇量有限却擅长把握对话方向的鬣蜥追问道。还没等到回答，一列推土机出现在地平线上，以军队般的阵势朝着沙漠溪住宅区驶来。只有当我们最狂野时，才能变得最文明，业主协会成员们轻柔地齐声宣告。天气之后请继续关注本报道。

On what, though? Asked the iguana, who was good at keeping conversations on track due to his limited vocabulary. Before this could be answered, a parade of bulldozers appeared on the horizon, rolling in military fashion toward the housing development of Desert Creek. Only when we are the most wild can we become the most civilized, the Hoa declared in gentle unison. More on this story after the weather.

而你已厌倦了自我实现的日子。它们空洞无物。

And you were done with self fulfilling days. They're vacant nowhere.

我是艾米·尼科尔森，《洛杉矶时报》的影评人。

I'm Amy Nicholson, the film critic for the LA Times.

我是保罗·谢尔，一名演员、编剧和导演。你可能通过《联盟》、《副总统》或我在《龙卷风》中无缘奥斯卡奖的角色认识我。

And I'm Paul Scheer, an actor, writer, and director. You might know me from The League, Veep, or my non eligible for Academy Award role in Twisters.

我们共同主持《未卷带》播客，在这里我们讨论好电影、评论界热门作品和影迷挚爱。

We come together to host Unspooled, a podcast where we talk about good movies, critical hits. Fan favorites,

必看之作，以防您错过了它们。

must sees, and in case you missed them.

我们正在讨论《寄生虫》和《小鬼当家》。

We're talking Parasite the Home Alone.

从《油脂》到《黑暗骑士》。

From Grease to the Dark Knight.

所以如果您和我们一样热爱电影，就加入我们的电影冒险之旅吧。

So if you love movies like we do, come along on our cinematic adventure.

在您获取播客的任何地方收听《Unspooled》。

Listen to Unspooled wherever you get your podcasts.

别忘了点击关注按钮。

And don't forget to hit the follow button.

夜谷突发新闻。沙漠溪社区已被彻底拆除，每栋房屋都被完全夷为平地，废墟正在被运走。看来大家对业主协会的新方向存在一些误解。如果有人仔细看过官方通讯中的漫画和尴尬诗歌就会明白，现在管理该区域的团体是一群激进的回归土地运动者，他们强烈反对房屋，坚决支持地洞。业主协会向街区派对的参与者解释道：'房屋只会将我们与自然世界隔离开来'，而这些参与者刚刚目睹自己的家园在眼前被撕成碎片。

Night Vale shocking news. The neighborhood of Desert Creek has been demolished, every house absolutely flattened to the ground, the wreckage already being hauled away. There seems to have been some misinterpretation over the new direction of the HOA. If one had looked closer at the comics and cringe poetry in the official understood that the group who is now governing the area is a movement of militant back to the landers, vehemently anti house and strongly pro holes in the dirt. Houses only serve to separate us from the natural world, the HOA explained to the block party attendees, who all just watched their homes torn to pieces right in front of them.

欢迎迎接崭新的开始，欢迎拥抱全新的生活。这是属于你的时刻，这是你与生俱来的权利，停止旁观，开始生活。我们可以毫无疑虑地存在。整个业主协会齐声高歌，配合着汤米·调恩式的完整编舞。西沃恩·阿兹达克称这段表演出人意料地迷人——尽管她刚还清房贷，却转眼失去了住所和个人财物。

Welcome to a fresh start, welcome to a new life. It is your time, it is your right, stop observing and start living. We can exist without misgiving. Chanted the entire HOA with full Tommy Tune inspired choreography. Siobhan Azdak called the number unexpectedly charming despite having just paid off her mortgage and now finding herself without shelter or personal belongings.

幸运的是，夜谷小学依然屹立不倒，因为根据《受保护文件法案》，破坏儿童艺术项目属于市政犯罪。那栋不存在的房子既矗立着又未矗立——尽管多次尝试拆除，但逻辑上根本不可能实现。至于其他一切？基本都化为了尘土。许多居民正在撤离该地区，涌入其他社区，预计沙漠松林和仙人掌花开这两个邻近开发区将出现人口过载和资源短缺问题。

Fortunately, the Knight Vale Elementary School is still standing as destroying children's art projects is a municipal crime under the Protected Documents Act. The house that doesn't exist is still standing and not standing as it is impossible to tear down logistically though several attempts were made. Everything else though? Pretty much dirt. Many residents are leaving the area and surging into other neighborhoods, overcrowding and resource scarcity is expected in the nearby developments of Desert Pines and Cactus Bloom.

一位老妇人正徒步前往中西部城市弗米利恩瀑布。她少女时代曾与家人公路旅行时在此停留，因车辆维修在镇上住了好几天。她大部分时间都消磨在公墓旁废弃的付费电话亭里，对着听筒说笑倾听甜言蜜语，任时光悄然流逝，雾气如慰藉的裹尸布般在她周围盘旋。此刻她又听见那部电话正为她响起。仍有少数居民选择留在沙漠溪谷。

One old woman started out for the Midwestern city of Vermillion Falls on foot. She had stopped there with her family once on a road trip when she was a teenager and they stayed in the town for several days waiting for a car repair. She'd spent most of her time in a defunct payphone near the cemetery where she talked and laughed and listened to sweet talk over the receiver as the hours melted away and the fog swirled around her like a comforting shroud. She can hear the phone ringing again for her now. A handful of residents have chosen to remain in Desert Creek.

他们正在泥土中挖掘坑洞作为新居所。他们对社区的变化表示满意，准备过上理想生活，或过上从未想过却心之所向的生活，至少是与以往截然不同的生活。请持续关注空白信号。传说只要足够专注、足够持久地倾听，你就能在虚无中找到意义。晚安，夜谷，晚安。

They are currently digging holes in the dirt which will serve as their new dwellings. They have expressed approval with the changes to the neighborhood and are ready to live their best lives or the lives they didn't know they wanted or, at least, totally different lives than the ones they had before. Stay tuned for dead air. Legend has it that if you listen hard enough and long enough, you will find meaning in the nothingness. Good night, Night Vale, good night.

《欢迎来到夜谷》由夜谷出品社制作。编剧包括约瑟夫·芬克、杰弗里·克拉纳和布里·威廉姆斯。音效设计与制作由Disparition负责。夜谷之声由塞西尔·鲍德温演绎。原声音乐由Disparition创作。

Welcome to Night Vale is a production of Night Vale Presents. It is written by Joseph Fink, Jeffrey Craner, and Brie Williams. Sound design and production by Disparition. The voice of Night Vale is Cecil Baldwin. Original music by Disparition.

所有内容均可在disparition.net获取。本期天气节目是尼科·雷的《荆棘》，详情请查看节目备注中的链接。如有评论或问题，请发送邮件至info@welcometoNightVale.com，或在蓝天空关注Night Vale Radio，或通过Instagram、Tumblr和TikTok关注nightvale official。或者告诉自己今天会有所不同——尽管并不会。

All of it can be found at disparition.net. This episode's weather was Thorns by Nico Ray. Find out more at the link in our show notes. Comments, questions, email us at info@welcometoNightVale.com, or follow us on blue sky at Night Vale Radio or on Instagram, Tumblr, and TikTok at nightvale official. Or tell yourself today will be different even though it won't be.

但最重要的是，请访问welcometonightvale.com，我们设有半月刊邮件列表，这是直接获取我们最新动态的最佳方式。每期简报都包含约瑟夫或杰弗里当下真正喜爱之物的个人推荐。今日谚语：切勿在拥挤的剧院高喊失火——除非你想被狠狠嘘声制止。

But mainly, check out welcometonightvale.com where we have a twice monthly mailing list that is the best way to keep up to date directly from us to you. Every newsletter includes a personal recommendation from Joseph or Jeffrey of something we are really loving right now. Today's proverb, never shout fire in a crowded theater unless you wanna get shushed super hard.

你是否对恐怖电影感到害怕但又有点想知道剧情？或者你是一个恐怖片爱好者，喜欢深入探讨你最爱的类型片？来加入我和杰弗里·克莱纳，以及我在《欢迎来到夜谷》的朋友塞西尔·鲍德温，每周收听我们的播客——随机恐怖播客第九号，我们会随机观看并讨论恐怖电影。简而言之，你可以在任何播客平台找到“随机恐怖九号”。嘘。

Are you squeamish about horror movies but kinda wanna know what happens? Or are you a horror lover who likes thoughtful conversation about your favorite genre? Join me, Jeffrey Craner, and my friend from Welcome to Night Vale, Cecil Baldwin, for our weekly podcast, random number generator horror podcast number nine, where we watch and discuss horror movies in a random order. Find, here's the short version, random horror nine wherever you get your podcasts. Boo.