SME #43: Crumb Storm

无论您的家庭选择全年持续上课，还是夏天放松一点，iXcel都会根据孩子的学习节奏和需求灵活调整，让您能按最适合家庭的方式使用它。

Whether your family continues lessons year round or takes a lighter summer approach, iXcel adapts to your child's pace and learning needs so you can use it however works best for your family.

IXL是一个屡获殊荣的在线学习平台，能完美融入家庭教育。

IXL is an award winning online learning platform that fits seamlessly into homeschooling.

它提供从幼儿园到十二年级的数学、语文、科学和社会研究等科目的互动练习。

It offers interactive practice across math, language arts, science, and social studies from pre k through twelfth grade.

IXL为每个孩子量身定制学习内容，保持他们的学习兴趣，并让家长清晰掌握孩子的进步情况。

IXL personalizes learning for each child, keeps them engaged, and gives parents clear insight into progress.

这是在暑假期间支持孩子学习、帮助他们为新学年建立信心的简单方式。

It's a simple way to support learning throughout the summer and help kids feel confident for the next school year.

今年夏天我们要搬去全国各地，所以得靠我们自己帮孩子保持出色的阅读能力，巩固一些数学概念，并在进入纽约的学校前增强他们的自信。

We're moving across the country this summer, so it'll be up to us to help our kids keep up their great reading skills, strengthen a few math concepts, and grow their confidence before starting school in the Big Apple.

iXcel能帮我们完成这一切，而不用让我额外花大量时间规划课程。

And iExcel can help us do all that without piling on a bunch of lesson planning on my plate.

所有内容都按年级和科目分类好了，我可以轻松引导大女儿顺利过渡到小学阶段的学习。

Everything is organized by grade and subject, so I'll be able to guide my eldest as she makes that big leap into grade school learning.

超过一千五百万学生在使用IXL。

Over 15,000,000 students use IXL.

超过七十五项研究证实，IXL能带来切实成效，已在全美五十个州证明能提升学业表现，让家庭教育家庭更有信心。

More than 75 research studies show it delivers real results, and it's been proven to improve achievement in all 50 states, giving homeschool families added confidence.

为孩子的学习带来真正改变。

Make an impact on your child's learning.

立即获取IXL。

Get IXL now.

如果全球听众今天在ixl.com/whatif注册，还能享受独家八折优惠。

And what if world listeners can get an exclusive 20% off IXL membership when they sign up today at ixl.com/whatif.

访问ixl.com/whatif，以最优惠的价格获得市面上最有效的学习平台。

Visit ixl.com/what if to get the most effective learning program out there at the best price.

什么是What If World？

What if world?

大家好，欢迎回到《What If World》，这档节目以你的问题和想法为灵感，带来即兴讲述的故事。

Hey there, folks, and welcome back to what if world, the show where your questions and ideas inspire off the cuff stories.

我是埃里克先生，

I'm Mr.

你们的主持人，今天给大家带来一些特别内容。

Eric, your host, and today, we've got some bonus content for you.

每个月，我的制作人林女士都会主持一档叫‘难倒埃里克先生’的节目。

So each month, my producer, Miss Lynn, hosts a show called Stump Mr.

叫‘难倒埃里克先生’。

Eric.

这是一档内容紧凑、时长二十到三十分钟的附加故事和问答节目。

It's a jam packed twenty to thirty minute story and trivia bonus show.

林女士和我每次都会即兴编一个完全原创的故事来回答你们的问题，然后我们会收到你们的脑筋急转弯，还有林女士出的一些题，让你们来考考我——埃里克先生，有时候还会考其他角色。

Miss Lynn and I always improvise a completely off the cuff story answering your questions, and then we get your trivia questions in some of Lynn's, and you all get to stump me, Mr.

考考我——埃里克先生，有时候还会考其他角色。

Eric, and sometimes other characters.

这是我们对所有支持者的感谢，当然，我们也感激每一位听众，所以今天先放一段预告故事给大家。

It's a big thank you we give to all our supporters, but of course, we are grateful to all of our listeners, so we're bringing you the teaser story today.

如果各位是想无广告收听《如果世界会怎样》近400集正片，以及《难倒埃里克先生》全部43集番外内容的成年听众，

Grown ups, if you'd like access to almost 400 episodes of What If World ad free, as well as all 43 bonus episodes of Stump Mr.

欢迎前往whatifworldpodcast.com/support，或是点击节目介绍里的支持链接了解详情。

Eric, please check us out at whatifworldpodcast.com/support, or click those support links in our show notes.

一直以来，无论顺境逆境，都是各位支持者帮我们把这档节目做下去。如果你也愿意支持我们，欢迎访问whatifworldpodcast.com/support加入我们。

Our supporters help us to continue doing this show through thick and thin, and we hope you'll consider joining us at whatifworldpodcast.com/support.

大家先稍等一下，我们会插播一段很短的广告，马上就回到节目里。

Hey folks, Hang tight through this quick ad break, then we'll be right back to the show.

欢迎回到《考考埃里克先生》节目。

Welcome back to Stump Mr.

这是《如果世界》的游戏环节，我们要看看埃里克先生还能记住多少《如果世界》故事里的人物、情境、地点和设定。

Eric, the What If World game show where we find out how many of the characters, situations, locations, and scenarios Mr.

今天我们有幸请到了这位先生，没有他，我们就没有这个节目。

Eric can still remember from past What If World stories.

他就是埃里克先生。

We're joined by the man without whom we would not have a show, mister Eric.

你好。

Hello.

你知道吗，听到有人用对了‘whom’，总是让人挺开心的。

And, you know, it's always it's always nice to hear someone using whom correctly.

现在有人说，因为语言本身在演变，你完全可以把‘whom’用在所有地方，

You know, they say now it's like because of just the way the language has evolved that you can basically just use whom for all

都行，

of it,

而且大家也接受了。

and it's it is accepted.

但毕竟，你懂的，

But it's still it's still you know?

作为

As an

作为一个英语专业的人，这

as a as an English major, it's

但我还是喜欢用对‘whom’。

still I like I like a good hoom.

我大学时主修德语。

Well, I was a German major in college.

据我所知，德国人对语法可没这么随意。

And as far as I know, the Germans are not so lackadaisical with their grammar.

他们对什么能用、什么不能用还是管得很严的。

They're still pretty pretty strict about what what you can and can't do.

我觉得在英语里，一旦‘literally’开始当‘figuratively’用，那就没什么规矩可言了。

I mean, I feel like in English, once literally started to mean figuratively, anything goes.

全都是这样。

It was all

是的。

on Yeah.

现在根本没什么规则了。

The There there are no rules anymore.

那咱们先来个没规矩的话题吧，问个你肯定答得上的问题，因为这问题是关于你的，埃里克先生。

Well, let's start out, speaking of no rules, with a question that you can't possibly get wrong because it is a question about you, mister Eric.

这个问题来自我们的赞助人肖恩。

This one comes from our patron, Sean.

肖恩问：你有几个孩子？

Sean asks, how many kids do you have?

哇哦。

Wow.

我有两个孩子，还有一只狗孩子。

Well, I have two human children and one dog child.

我们最近收养了佩妮，你知道的。

They are you know, we adopted Penny now.

嗯。

Uh-huh.

这可能对一些听众来说是新消息，是的。

And so which might be news to some of our listeners, Yeah.

Penny是我们她两岁的时候领养的。

Penny, we we got her when she was two years old.

对。

Mhmm.

现在她三岁了。

She's now three years old.

她的全名是Penny Dooby Doo O'Keefe，这名字是孩子们起的。

Her name is Penny Dooby Doo O'Keefe, and the kids named her.

他们本来想叫她Scooby Dooby Doo，我们只好稍微引导了一下。

They wanted to just name her Scooby Dooby Doo, and we kinda had to steer them away.

最后，我小儿子说，那就叫Penny吧，因为那是他幼儿园最好的朋友的名字。

So instead, my youngest said, okay, Penny, because that was the name of their best friend in preschool at

那时候。

the time.

哦。

Oh.

哇。

Wow.

但这很合理，因为Penny的毛色是铜红色的。

But it makes sense because Penny has a coppery coat.

她是一只混血的法国斗牛犬，有点像拳师犬和巴哥犬的结合。

She's like a brindle French bulldog slash boxer slash pugly something mix.

她是一只被发现停在家得宝停车场的流浪狗，现在用她那充满活力的紧张劲儿给我们的家庭带来无尽的温暖。

She's just she's just this mixed up wonderful little rescue dog that was found in a Home Depot parking lot and now blesses our family with her wonderful nervous energy.

这真是太好了，埃里克小姐。

Well, that is wonderful, miss Eric.

当然，你答对了。

Of course, you got that one correct.

我们现在进入第一轮。

Let's move on now to round one.

这是我们的‘假如世界’短篇故事。

This is our What If World short story.

也许这跟《假如世界》系列的其他内容是一致的，也许不是。

Maybe it's in line with the rest of the What If World canon, maybe not.

我得看了才知道。

I'll just have to see.

我们准备了一些问题，来帮我们构思这个故事。

We have a number of questions to help us with this story.

我们有四个问题，但每个都范围不大。

We have four separate questions, but they're all fairly limited in scope.

第一个问题是来自艾琳的。

So the first one is from Irene.

你好。

Hi.

我叫艾琳。

My name is Irene.

我六岁。

I'm six.

我的假如问题是，如果我的老师是一只猫会怎么样？

My what if question is what if my teacher was a cat?

她叫凯特老师。

Name's Miss Kate.

接下来是我们赞助人博的提问。

And then we have a question from our patron, Beau.

你好。

Hello.

我叫博，我的问题是，如果阿尔巴斯特零号得重新回学校会怎样？

My name is Beau, and my word for question is what if Alabaster Zero had to go back in school?

再见。

Goodbye.

我很喜欢你们的节目。

I love your show.

接下来是卡西迪的提问。

Next, we have Cassidy.

Cassidy问，如果一个叫气球裤先生的气球

Cassidy asks, what if a balloon named Mr.

在课上吃了一块饼干会怎样？

Balloony Pants ate a cookie in class?

最后，我们还有一个来自Nolan的问题。

And then lastly, we have a question from Nolan.

他说，嗨。

He says, hi.

我叫诺兰。

My name is Nolan.

我来自犹他州。

I'm from Utah.

我的问题是，如果学校是座山，而我喜欢宇航员，那会怎样？

And my question is, what if mountains were schools and I like astronauts?

所以我们的老师叫基蒂小姐。

So we have a teacher named Miss Kitty.

阿尔巴斯特零不得不回学校。

Alabaster Zero had to go back in school.

巴隆尼裤先生，

Mr.

巴隆尼裤先生在学校里吃饼干，而山变成了学校。

Balloony Pants, presumably in school, eats a cookie in class, and mountains are schools.

明白了。

Okay.

好的。

Alright.

好的。

Alright.

好的。

Alright.

那么，

Well,

诺兰、卡西迪、博、艾琳，谢谢你们的问题。

Nolan, Cassidy, Beau, Irene, thank you for your questions.

我会尽力把你们的所有问题都融入进去。

I will do my best to incorporate all of them.

你们也知道，当我们把这些元素堆在一起的时候，我只能尽我所能，关键是想让你们这些孩子听到一个有趣的故事。

As you know, when we're when we're stacking them up, all I can do is my best, and I wanna make sure that you kids get a fun story.

就像林老师说的，这些内容其实都是有关联的。

But I like Miss Lynn said, they are all related.

山会变成学校。

Mountains are gonna be schools.

巴隆裤先生。

Mr.

巴隆裤先生会是个学生。

Balloony Pants is it will be a student.

对吧？

Right?

大概吧。

Presumably.

至少从逻辑上是这样，因为在课堂上吃饼干，听起来你就像是那个学生。

It's implied at least because eating a cookie in class kind of means kinda sounds like you're the person in class.

我们的老师应该叫凯蒂小姐，而阿尔巴斯特零号也得去上学，所以我们有个来自《如果世界》的固定角色。

Our teacher should be named Miss Kitty, and Alabaster Zero has to go to school, so we have a, you know, we have a anchor character from from What If World.

最后，还有一个小细节，我们看看能不能安排上——

And finally, just this tiny little detail, we'll see if

宇航员。

we can fit in, is Astronaut.

坚果。

Nuts.

好的。

Okay.

行吧。

Alright.

谢谢您，Lynn老师，也谢谢各位小朋友提出的问题。

Thank you, Miss Lynn, and thanks all you kids for your questions.

现在我们一起来看看这些问题的答案。

Now let's find out all of them.

这是一类早晨，你醒过来的时候。

Well, it's one of those mornings where you wake up.

成年人，你们有没有做过这样的梦？

Have you ever had a dream now grown ups you might?

你们可能会对这个梦产生共鸣。

You might sympathize with this dream.

孩子们，你们可能也做过这样的梦。

Kids you might have had it too.

就是那种突然意识到自己还没完成学业的梦，你知道的？

But a dream where you realize that you didn't finish some kind of school, you know?

比如，你觉得自己还没高中毕业。

Like maybe you didn't graduate high school.

也许你压根没参加中学的毕业典礼，所以严格来说你没完成初中学业；或者像在大学里有一门课，比如怎么洗运动袜，你没修完，结果你就没法再继续工作了。

Maybe you didn't attend your middle school matriculation ceremony, and so you didn't technically graduate middle school, or, you know, or like you didn't finish one class in college about like cleaning gym socks and so you were no longer, you know, you can't really do your job anymore.

说实话，今天早上我醒过来，突然发现这一切居然都是真的。

Well, you know, I woke up this morning and I realized that all of it was true.

我是在家上学的，没错。

I was homeschooled, okay?

但我爸这人特立独行，从来不按规定办事，压根没交过任何手续文件。

But my dad being the cool plays by his own rule book detective, never actually filed any of the paperwork.

谢谢，Alabaster Negative One。

Thanks Alabaster Negative One.

好在我认识一个很酷的猫咪。

Well, good thing I know a cool kitty.

她的名字叫Miss Kitty，是位宇航猫，还在山顶上教书。

In fact, her name is Miss Kitty and she's a catstronaut and a teacher who teaches on top of a mountain.

你还能想象比这更酷的事吗？

You imagine anything cooler than that?

所以我打算去那所给成年人开的山上学堂，把所有该有的学历证书都拿回来。

So I'm gonna go to this mountain school for grown ups and I'm gonna get all my school certificates.

我就想好好展示一下我到底懂多少。

I'm just gonna show how much I know.

好了，零先生。

Alright, Mr.

零。

Zero.

别再讲了。

That's enough narration.

该坐下来专心上课了。

It's time to sit down and focus for class.

对不起。

I'm I'm sorry.

我只是太兴奋了，能来到这里。

I just I I I'm just so excited to be here.

有时候我一兴奋起来就控制不住自己

Sometimes when I get excited, I just

我明白。

I understand.

我明白。

I understand.

请坐好。

Please take your seat.

你也一样，先生。

You as well, Mr.

气球裤。

Balloony Pants.

该上课了。

It's time for class to begin.

你好。

Hi.

是我啊，先生。

It's me, Mr.

Balloony Pants。

Balloony Pants.

有人想吃饼干吗？

Anyone want a cookie?

我给大家都准备了饼干。

I've got cookies for everybody.

现在还不是吃点心的时间，先生。

Now it's not snack time, Mr.

Balloony Pants。

Balloony Pants.

我们得等到吃点心的时间。

We need to wait until snack time.

点心时间什么时候到？

When will snack time be?

我有时候血糖偏低。

I sometimes have low blood sugar.

准确说，是没血糖，因为我是个

Well, really zero blood sugar because I'm

气球。

a balloon.

我明白。

I understand.

但在吃点心之前，我们得先登上学顶。

But before snack time, we need to climb the summit of the school.

大家都把安全扣准备好。

So everyone get your carabiners.

穿上登山装备。

Get into your climbing gear.

需要帮忙吗？

Come do you need some help?

是的

Yeah.

挺好

Good.

正在系他的安全带。

Stipping in his harness.

我觉得我可能戴反了，因为它贴在我脸上。

Well, I think I think I might have it backwards because it's on my face.

这应该是要

Is that how it's supposed

帮你忙吧，零先生。

to help you, mister Zero.

明白了。

Okay.

那个

That

哦，不好意思。

oh, sorry.

好的。

Okay.

不用。

No.

注意别被爪子勾到。

Just watch the claws.

是的。

Yeah.

有点打结了。

This is a little tangled.

抱歉。

Sorry.

可能会夹一下。

This might pinch.

好的。

Okay.

对。

Yeah.

哦，对啊。

Oh, yeah.

我听说猫挺喜欢缠来缠去的。

Oh, well, cats enjoy tangling and untangling, I I've heard.

等等。

Wait.

不行。

No.

那可能是个刻板印象。

That might be a stereotype.

我在师范学院的时候，得改掉这个习惯。

Was a habit that I had to unlearn when I was at the teacher academy.

气球裤先生

Mister Balloony Pants

我明白了

I get

懂了。

it.

我不明白你说的是什么？

I don't what what?

给猫喝茶？

Tea a cat?

她是一只猫。

She's a cat.

我明白了。

I get it.

对。

Yeah.

我也是。

Me too.

好的。

Okay.

我不需要任何攀爬装备。

I don't need any climbing gear.

我就是一个真正的气球。

I'm a literal balloon.

来吧。

Come on.

行吧。

Alright.

那咱们看看能不能在之前赶到山顶。

Well, let's let's see if we can make it up to the summit before

好的。

Okay.

我看看吧

I'll see

到时候见。

you there.

先生。

Mr.

气球裤先生，您得有个身体才行。

Balloony Pants, you need a body.

天哪。

Oh, goodness.

这事儿怕是不妙了。

Oh, this isn't going to go well

在我的评估里。

on my evaluation.

到目前为止，我拿的是A。

I'm getting an a so far.

或者他们因为气球得了B，我打赌。

Or and they're getting a b for balloon, I bet.

这就是评分标准。

That that is the grading rubric.

没错。

Correct.

每个人的成绩都取决于自己的名字。

Everyone gets graded by what their name is.

是的。

Yeah.

正是如此。

Exactly.

我叫阿拉巴斯特。

I'm Alabaster.

好吧。

Okay.

你赶上了。

You you you caught up.

但你的名字在这所学校里是零先生。

But but your name is mister Zero here in the school.

真恶心。

Ew.

所以。

So

我们就说到这儿吧。

we'll just leave it at that.

零先生，你能看到巴隆裤先生吗？哦。

Mister O, can you even see mister Balloony Pants and oh.

我弄到面包屑了。

I'm getting crumbs.

这些是面包屑吗？

Are the crumbs?

哦，原来是这样

Oh, It's

这简直是一场碎屑风暴。

a crumb storm.

我没想到这也会是考试的一部分。

I didn't know this was gonna be part of the exam.

不过要说侦探最擅长什么，那就是在爬山的时候，面对铺天盖地的碎屑，还能顺利拿到初中、高中和大学的全部证书。

But if there's one thing detectives are good at, it's navigating lots of crumbs falling on them while they scale a mountain in order to get their middle school, high school, college certificate all in one day.

这也太小众了吧。

That's very niche.

好吧。

Okay.

我想我的爪子

I think oh, my claws

打滑了。

are slipping.

我明白。

I got you.

你尽管抓我的背吧。

Just go ahead and claw my back.

这是条工装夹克，对你来说应该特别容易抓。

It's it's a dungaree jacket, so it should be really easy for you.

你确定吗？

Are you sure?

这身牛仔套装真漂亮。

This is such a beautiful Canadian tuxedo.

是的。

Yes.

我现在知道了，但我喜欢补它，每次撕破了，我就贴个彩色补丁，反而更出彩了。

Now I know, but it's also I like patching it because every time it gets ripped, I just put a colorful patch on it and it becomes even more brilliant.

这真美。

This is beautiful.

好的。

Alright.

我会小心点，别弄坏了。

Well, I'll try not to damage it.

谢谢你帮忙。

I appreciate your help.

嗯，行。

Okay.

哇哦。

Wow.

你的爪子比我想象的要长。

Your claws are longer than I expected.

我来搞定。

I got this.

对了，我们爬山的时候，我突然有个问题想问。

So hey, while we're climbing, I just sort of had a question.

这跟这事儿有什么关系？

What does this have to do with anything?

这是山地学校。

This is the mountain school.

攀爬是我们课程的核心部分。

Climbing is the main part of our curriculum.

好的。

Alright.

明白了。

Okay.

这下把我的所有疑问都一次性说清楚了。

That that answered all of my questions in a really tidy package.

我们到山顶了。

And we're at the top.

先生。

Mr.

气球裤

Balloony Pants.

是的

Yeah.

你们花了这么长时间才上来，说不定我的声音跟下面时有点不一样了。

It took you all so long to get here that maybe my voice has changed somewhat since down by the bottom.

不是的。

No.

我觉得没变。

I think it's the same.

我不确定。

I don't know.

海拔的影响。

Altitude.

对吧？

Right?

你是谁

Am You I

你说得对。

you are right.

你看起来比在下面山顶时还胖了一点。

You're looking even a little plumper than you were down at the at the summit below.

氦气是这么起作用的吗？

Is that how helium works?

物理规律就是这样。

Physics works.

我的意思是，我们可以自己决定。

I mean, we get to decide.

我不确定。

I don't know.

你不是老师兼宇航员吗？

Aren't you a teacher and an astronaut?

我不是教物理的老师。

I'm not a physics teacher.

你可能会以为当宇航员时就得学这个，但其实……

You you would have thought I had to learn that in astronaut school, but

不过猫宇航员的培训肯定不太一样。

But I guess catstronaut school is a little different.

我们不能用同样的标准来要求它们。

We can't hold it to the same standards.

你看，它们只要戴个可爱的小玻璃球头盔，想什么时候去太空就什么时候去。

You know, you just get to wear this adorable little glass sphere on your head and jump in outer space whenever you please.

真的吗？

Really?

对吧？

Right?

我

I

说实话，当个太空猫主要也就是爬到最高处睡个觉。

mean, mostly being a castronaut involves just climbing up to the highest point and taking a nap.

别让它

Don't let it get

乱跑。

around.

不行。

No.

我可以做到。

I I I can do that.

哎呀。

Oh, dear.

快点。

Well, quickly.

趁气球裤先生睡着的时候，咱们吃块饼干吧。

While mister Balloony Pants is sleeping, let's eat one of their cookies.

他们是给全班同学带的。

They brought them for the whole class.

对吧？

Right?

那我们至少应该能吃一个。

So we should be able to have at least one.

行吧。

Alright.

有道理。

That's fair.

我之前说过，到了地方就吃点心。

I did say that it would be snack time once we we arrive.

而且，我猜既然他叫巴洛尼裤子先生，

Also, I assume that since the name is Mr.

那应该用他吧？

Balloony Pants that those are hehim pronouns?

可能是，也可能不是。

Probably, but maybe not.

我该等他们醒了再问一问。

I should ask when when they're awake.

他的申请表上可没写这个。

That was not on his application form.

对。

Yes.

还是问清楚比较好。

It's best to ask.

在我拿到证书之前，我肯定还有一件事没学明白。

Before I get my certificate, I'm pretty sure there's something that I meant to learn.

大概是跟攀爬、气球、物理或者猫有关的事。

Something about the, you know, climbing or balloons or or physics or cats.

我觉得就是数学。

I think it was just math.

哦，行吧。

Oh, alright.

因为我们很快就爬了六千英尺。

Because we because we climbed 6,000 feet really quickly.

我其实是个不错的登山者。

I'm I'm actually a pretty good climber.

但我们是从五千英尺的山顶开始的。

And but we started at a summit which was 5,000 feet.

没错。

Correct.

所以我们现在的海拔大约是一万一千英尺。

So our elevation is now approximately 11,000 feet.

干得漂亮，先生。

Well done, Mr.

零。

Zero.