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感谢您收听《我们有办法让你开口》。

Thank you for listening to We Have Ways of Making You Talk.

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那是 patreon.com slash wehave ways。

That's patreon.com slash wehave ways.

注意。

Achtung.

注意。

Achtung.

欢迎收听我们的新播客。

Welcome to our new podcast.

我是阿尔·默里。

I'm Al Murray.

我是詹姆斯·荷兰。

And I'm James Holland.

我们打算

We're gonna

聊聊第二次世界大战，纯粹简单地聊。

talk World War two, pure and simple.

《我们有办法让你变高》是这个节目的名字。

We have ways of making you tall is the name of the show.

德国人假装他们没有空军。

The Germans are pretending that they don't have an air force.

是的。

Yeah.

假装他们有。

Pretending that they are.

他们训练成千上万飞行员的原因是，人们真的很喜欢在

The reason they're training these thousands of pilots is because people really like flying at

周末飞行。

the weekend.

这是一种宣传武器，这些被称为戈培尔胡须。

This is a propaganda weapon, and these these were known as Goebbelschnauser.

马达加斯加是第二次世界大战期间全球最具战略重要性的地点。

Madagascar was the most strategically important place globally in the Second World War.

我们会犯错。

We are fallible.

我们现在就直说吧。

Let's just put that out there right now.

是真的吗？雨果·博斯设计了纳粹军服？

Is it true that Hugo Boss designed Nasty Uniform?

这是一挺，是一挺机枪。

It's a well, it's a machine gun.

这是最好的说法了。

That's the best way of putting it.

听起来就像撕纸板一样。

It would sound like tearing cardboard.

嗯，那就是你会听到的声音，对吧？

Well, that's what that's the sound you would hear, wasn't it?

希特勒的嗡嗡声，是的。

Hitler's buzz Yeah.

没错。

Exactly.

希特勒的电锯。

Hitler's buzz saw.

统治阶级在整个空袭期间继续吃龙虾、喝香槟。

The ruling classes continued to eat lobster and drink champagne throughout the blitz.

我的意思是，真的吗？

I mean, really?

不。

No.

没那么回事。

Not really.

如果你是德国将军，你只有两个方向可选。

You've only got two directions to go in if you're a German general.

你要么就是猛攻法国，要么就是猛攻俄罗斯。

You're either you're either duffing up the French or you're duffing up the Russians.

《星球大战》的细心观众可能会注意到，一些暴风兵携带的是经过改装的MG 42机枪，用来看起来像太空射线枪。

Sharp eyed viewers of Star Wars will probably notice that some of the stormtroopers are carrying sort of pimped MG 40 twos to make them look like space blasters.

很多纳粹高层都很胖。

A lot of the leading Nazis were fat.

我的意思是，想摆脱这种印象真不容易。

I mean, it's slow getting away from it.

我的意思是，汉斯·弗兰克，他是个大胖子。

I mean, Hans Frank, he was a fat knacker.

戈林也是。

So was Goering.

马丁·鲍曼也相当臃肿，双颊肥厚。

Martin Borman was pretty puffy and jowly.

我的意思是，他们根本不是一群体健的人。

I mean, they weren't a fit bunch.

是的。

Yeah.

好吧，现在我们得让MG42冷却一下，我去给枪管撒尿。

Well, we need to let the MG 42 cool down now while I go and urinate on the barrel.

因为这根本不是一对开关，一个是纳粹FM，另一个嘛，你知道的，是戈林豪尔。

Because what it's not is a pair of switches, and one's Nazi FM and the other's the other's, you know, the Goringhauer.

当你提到条顿人时，几乎总跟着的词是效率。

When you say Teutonic, the word that almost always follows is efficiency.

实际上，德国人有一件事并不高效。

And actually, there's one thing that the Germans weren't was efficient.

我们把一个U型潜艇基地建在马达加斯加怎么样？

How about we put a u boat base on Madagascar?

任何有点常识的人都知道，敦刻尔克是一场彻头彻尾的灾难。

Anyone who knows anything knows that Dunkirk was an unmitigated disaster.

机枪会以那种速度射击，而火炮则是砰、砰、砰、砰。

A machine gun would go that kind of speed, whereas a cannon would go boom boom boom boom.

对。

Right.

好的。

Okay.

所以，你从这个播客里能听到的就是这种武器级别的胡扯。

So that is the weapons grade waffle you can expect from this podcast.

当你面对成千上万个身高六英尺二、下巴方正、牙齿闪亮的美国人冲向你时，你的射击纪律会很快崩盘。

Your firing discipline tends to go out the window pretty damn quickly when you've got thousands of six foot two square jawed Americans coming towards you with amazing teeth.

但这还不是终点。

But this is not the end.

甚至不是终点的开始。

It's not even the beginning of the end.

这或许只是开始的结束。

It is perhaps the end of the beginning.

再见。

Auf Wiedersehen.

再会。

Cheerio.