要点：与家人、朋友及伴侣建立牢固社交纽带的科学

欢迎来到《Huberman实验室精华》，我们将重温往期节目，为您带来最有效、可操作的科学工具，助力心理健康、身体健康与表现提升。

Welcome to Huberman Lab Essentials, where we revisit past episodes for the most potent and actionable science based tools for mental health, physical health, and performance.

我是Andrew Huberman，斯坦福大学医学院神经生物学与眼科学教授。

I'm Andrew Huberman, and I'm a professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford School of Medicine.

本期节目将探讨社会联结的生物学基础、心理学原理及实践方法。

Today's episode is about the biology, psychology, and practices of social bonding.

从出生到离世，我们社会关系的质量很大程度上决定了生活品质。

From the day we are born until the day we die, the quality of our social bonds dictates much of our quality of life.

因此不难理解，我们的大脑乃至整个神经系统天生就为社交联结而设计。

It should therefore be no surprise that our brain and indeed much of our entire nervous system is wired for social bonds.

今天我们将深入探讨这些大脑与神经系统的运作机制。

Today, we are going to talk about those brain and nervous system circuitries.

我们还将解析支撑这些功能的神经化学物质与激素。

We're also going to talk about the neurochemicals and hormones that underlie their function.

同时会介绍一系列重要且实用的生活应用工具。

And we are going to touch on a number of important and actionable tools that you can apply in everyday life.

我相信通过本期内容，您将对自己的行为模式获得深刻认知。

And I'm confident that you will come away from today's episode with tremendous knowledge about how you function.

比如，如果您是内向或外向人格，其成因是什么？

For instance, if you're an introvert or an extrovert, why is that?

事实证明这背后可能存在神经化学基础。

Turns out there may be a neurochemical basis for that.

信不信由你，现在已有严谨的同行评审研究证实了这一生物学机制。

Believe it or not, there's biology around that now, and it's excellent peer reviewed work.

生物学的一个重要普遍特征，尤其是与社会联结相关的，在于神经回路——即大脑区域、神经元和激素（如我们今天要讨论的催产素），以及大脑和体内负责社会联结过程的其他化学物质——并非特定社会关系所独有。

Now an important feature of biology generally, but in particular, as it relates to social bonding, is that the neural circuits, meaning the brain areas and neurons and the hormones, things like oxytocin, which we'll talk about today, and the other chemicals in the brain and body that are responsible for the process we call social bonding are not unique to particular social bonds.

它们是通用的。

They are generic.

我的意思是，负责建立亲子关系的相同大脑回路实际上在恋爱关系中被重新利用。

What I mean by that is that the same brain circuits that are responsible for establishing a bond between parent and child are actually repurposed in romantic relationships.

在讨论社会联结之前，我想先谈谈它的反面——缺乏社会联结或社会孤立。

Before we talk about social bonding, I want to talk about its mirror image, which is lack of social bonding or social isolation.

确实，许多人喜欢独处时光。

Well, many people like time alone.

但当我们谈论社会孤立时，指的是动物或人类被限制获得他们想要的社会接触。

But when we talk about social isolation, what we're referring to is when animals or humans are restricted from having the social contacts that they would prefer to have.

简单概括这项跨越百年以上的研究文献的主要结论：社会孤立会带来压力。

And to just briefly touch on the major takeaways from this literature, which spans a hundred years or more, being socially isolated is stressful.

社会孤立的标志性特征之一是压力激素（如肾上腺素/去甲肾上腺素和皮质醇）长期升高。适量皮质醇本有益于抗炎、提供晨间能量并维持全天专注力。

And one of the hallmark features of social isolation is chronically elevated stress hormones like adrenaline, also called epinephrine, like cortisol, a stress hormone that at healthy levels is good for combating inflammation, helps us have energy early in the day, focus throughout the day.

但如果皮质醇长期过高（这是社会孤立的后果），免疫系统就会受损，大脑和身体会开始释放其他化学物质，这些物质旨在促使生物体（动物或人类）寻求社会联结。

But if cortisol is elevated for too long, which is the consequence of social isolation, the immune system suffers and other chemicals start to be released in the brain and body that are designed to motivate the organism, animal or human to seek out social bonds.

所以如果你正经历社会孤立并渴望社交接触，这种渴望是健康的。

So if you're somebody who's socially isolated and is craving social contact, that is a healthy craving.

我们接下来会了解到，对社交接触的健康渴望有特定的大脑回路和神经化学特征，并具有一些你可以在各类社交中运用的显著特点。

And as we'll learn next, the healthy craving for social contact has a very specific brain circuit, has a very specific neurochemical signature associated with it, and has some remarkable features that you can leverage in social contacts of all kinds.

我想稍作休息，感谢我们的赞助商Element。

I'd like to take a quick break and acknowledge one of our sponsors, Element.

Element是一款电解质饮料，只含你所需，不含你所不需。

Element is an electrolyte drink that has everything you need and nothing you don't.

这意味着它含有精确配比的电解质、钠、镁和钾，但不含糖分。

That means the electrolytes, sodium, magnesium, and potassium in the correct amounts, but no sugar.

适当的水分补充对大脑和身体机能至关重要。

Proper hydration is critical for optimal brain and body function.

即使是轻微脱水也会降低认知和身体表现。

Even a slight degree of dehydration can diminish cognitive and physical performance.

获取充足的电解质同样重要。

It's also important that you get adequate electrolytes.

电解质、钠、镁和钾对你体内所有细胞（尤其是神经元或神经细胞）的功能至关重要。

The electrolytes, sodium, magnesium, and potassium are vital for functioning of all the cells in your body, especially your neurons or your nerve cells.

将Element溶解在水中饮用，能轻松确保你获得充足水分和电解质。

Drinking Element dissolved in water makes it very easy to ensure that you're getting adequate hydration and adequate electrolytes.

为了确保获得适量的水分和电解质，我每天早晨起床后会将一包Element溶解在约16至32盎司的水中饮用。

To make sure that I'm getting proper amounts of hydration and electrolytes, I dissolve one packet of Element in about 16 to 32 ounces of water when I first wake up in the morning.

这基本上是我晨起后第一件要做的事。

And I drink that basically first thing in the morning.

在进行任何体能锻炼时，特别是在大量排汗流失水分和电解质的炎热天气里，我也会饮用溶解了Element的水。

I'll also drink Element dissolved in water during any kind of physical exercise that I'm doing, especially on hot days when I'm sweating a lot and losing water and electrolytes.

Element有多种美味口味可选。

Element has a bunch of great tasting flavors.

我最喜欢树莓味和柑橘味。

I love the raspberry, I love the citrus flavor.

目前，Element推出了一款限量版柠檬水口味，绝对美味。

Right now, Element has a limited edition lemonade flavor that is absolutely delicious.

虽然我不愿说偏爱某一种口味，但这款柠檬水口味确实和我最爱的其他口味——覆盆子或西瓜味——不相上下。

I hate to say that I love one more than all the others, but this lemonade flavor is right up there with my favorite other one, which is raspberry or watermelon.

再说一次，我实在无法只选一种口味。

Again, I can't pick just one flavor.

我全都喜欢。

I love them all.

如果你想尝试Element产品，可以访问drinkelement.com/hubermanspelled或drinklmnt.com/huberman，购买任意Element饮品混合包即可获赠免费样品套装。

If you'd like to try Element, you can go to drinkelement.com/hubermanspelled drinklmnt.com/huberman to claim a free Element sample pack with a purchase of any Element drink mix.

再次提醒，访问drinkelement.com/huberman即可领取免费样品套装。

Again, that's drinkelement.com/huberman to claim a free sample pack.

就像饥饿感、温度感和口渴感一样，我们的大脑中也有专门负责所谓'社交稳态'的神经回路。

Much like hunger, much like temperature, much like thirst, we have brain circuits that are devoted to what's called a social homeostasis.

稳态是各种生物回路甚至单个细胞试图维持特定水平的特性。

Homeostasis is the characteristic of various biological circuits and even individual cells to try and maintain a certain level.

在饥饿的背景下最容易理解这个概念。

It's most easily thought of in the context of hunger.

如果你长时间不进食，你对食物的追求动力就会增强——包括思考食物、制作食物、花钱购买食物，以及真正享受食物。

If you don't eat for a while, your drive to pursue food and think about food and make food and spend money on food and indeed to enjoy food goes up.

而当你吃饱时，通常不会那么积极或强烈地寻找食物。

Whereas when you're well fed, you don't tend to seek out food with as much vigor or as much intensity.

这就是理解稳态的一个简单方式。

So that's a simple way of thinking about homeostasis.

每个稳态回路都有三个或至少三个组成部分。

Every homeostatic circuit has three components or at least three.

首先是检测器，意味着生物体或墙上的恒温器必须能够检测环境中的情况，在社会联结的背景下，无论你是否与他人互动，以及这些互动是否顺利。

One is a detector, meaning the organism or the thermostat on your wall has to have some way of detecting what's going on in the environment, all right, in the context of social bonding, whether or not you are interacting with others and whether or not those interactions are going well.

所以这些必须被检测到，这是第一点。

So that has to be detected, that's the first thing.

其次必须有一个控制中心，这是第二点。

Then there has to be a control center, that's the second thing.

而控制中心负责进行调整，在社会联结的情况下，调整你的行为和心理状态。

And the control center is the one that makes the adjustments to, in the case of social bonding, to your behavior and to your psychology.

现在，这个稳态回路的第三个组成部分是效应器。

Now, third component of this homeostatic circuit is the effector.

效应器实际上是驱动行为反应的部分。

The effector is actually what drives the behavioral response.

正是它促使你拿起社交媒体开始滑动浏览。

It's what leads you to pick up your social media and start scrolling.

正是它促使你给朋友发短信。

It's what leads you to text a friend.

再次强调，这三个组成部分分别是检测器、控制中心和效应器。

So again, those three components are a detector, a control center, and an effector.

而你们很快会了解到，控制社会稳态的神经回路实际上还有第四个组成部分。

And as you'll soon learn, the neural circuit that controls the social homeostasis actually has a fourth component.

这第四个组成部分负责主观理解你为何会做出这些行为，并确立你在社会等级中的位置。

And that fourth component is one that places subjective understanding as to why you are doing what you are doing and establishes your place in a hierarchy.

当我们讨论人类互动中的社会等级时，社会等级具有高度可塑性，即在某种情境下一个人可能是领导者，在另一种情境下另一个人可能成为领导者。

When we talk about social hierarchies in the context of human interactions, social hierarchies are very plastic, meaning in one setting, one person can be the leader, in another setting, the other person can be the leader.

等级制度是高度动态的。

Hierarchies are very dynamic.

因此，社会联结必须具有极强的可塑性和流动性，这样当你从一种环境转换到另一种环境时，即使面对相同的人群，也能做出相应调整。

And as a consequence, social bonding has to be very plastic and very fluid so that you move from one environment to the next, even with the same people, you have to be able to make those adjustments.

在社会稳态回路中，这些调整是由特定的大脑结构完成的。

And in the case of the social homeostasis circuit, those adjustments are made by a particular brain structure.

我在这个播客中曾提到过，它被称为前额叶皮层。

I've talked about on this podcast before, it's called the prefrontal cortex.

可以说，这是我们高等意识的所在地。

It is the seat of our higher consciousness, if you will.

正是它让我们能够对事物进行主观判断，使我们不局限于机械的输入输出，不会像机器人那样行事。

It's what allows us to place subjective labels on things so we are not strictly input output, we're not robotic.

支撑社会稳态的检测器主要涉及两个结构。

The detector that underlies social homeostasis involves mainly two structures.

一个称为ACC（前扣带回皮层），另一个是BLA（基底外侧杏仁核）。

One is called the ACC, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the other is the BLA, basolateral amygdala.

当你听到杏仁核这个词时，可能会联想到恐惧。

And when you hear the word amygdala, you're probably thinking fear.

但今天你会发现，杏仁核实际上包含许多不同的亚区和组成部分。

But today, as you'll see, the amygdala actually has many different subcompartments and components.

为什么与某些厌恶行为（即回避特定事物或互动）相关的基底外侧杏仁核，会成为检测系统中如此关键的组成部分，这是有深层原因的。

And there's a reason why the basolateral amygdala, which is associated with certain aspects of aversive behaviors, meaning moving away from certain types of things or interactions, there's a reason why the BLA is such an integral part of the detector system.

这是因为，正如建立健康的社会关系很重要，努力避免不健康的社会关系也至关重要。

And that's because just as it's important to form healthy social bonds, it's vitally important to try and avoid unhealthy social bonds.

我们拥有ACC和BLA这两个区域，它们主要参与远离事物的过程，虽然也会靠近事物，这就是探测器。

So we've got the ACC and the BLA, these are areas that are mainly involved in moving away from things, although also toward them, that's the detector.

然后我们还有位于下丘脑的控制中心。

Then we've got the control center, which is in the hypothalamus.

接下来我想让大家了解一个与社交关系特别相关的重要区域——中缝背核（DRN）。

And then there's a very special and important area associated with social bonding that I want everyone to learn, which is the dorsal raphe nucleus or DRN, dorsal raphe nucleus.

中缝背核是中脑的一小群神经元集合，位于大脑深处。

The dorsal raphe nucleus is a small collection of neurons in the midbrain, so it's deep in the brain.

顺便说一句，大多数时候当你听到Raphae（拼写为R A P H E）核时，其实是在讨论血清素。

And most of the time when you hear about Raphae, R A P H E, by the way, Raphae nucleus, you're talking about serotonin.

血清素是一种神经调节物质，通常与进食后的饱足感相关，本质上是对已有事物的满足感。

Serotonin is a neuromodulator that is often associated with feelings of satiety after eating, basically satisfaction with things that you already have.

然而，在这个中缝背核内，存在一小群释放多巴胺的神经元。

However, within this dorsal raphe nucleus, there is a small subset of neurons that release dopamine.

多巴胺是一种最常与运动、渴望、动机和欲望相关的神经调节物质。

Dopamine is a neuromodulator most often associated with movement, craving, motivation, and desire.

中缝核中这群独特的多巴胺神经元之所以特别，在于它负责调节我所说的'社交稳态'。

This unique population of dopamine neurons in the raphe is truly unique in that it's responsible for mediating what I've been calling social homeostasis.

它是调节社交稳态的效应器或响应机制。

It is the effector or the response that mediates social homeostasis.

在大多数关于多巴胺的流行讨论甚至科学界中，当听到多巴胺释放时，人们通常会联想到奖励或愉悦感。

In most popular conversations about dopamine and even in scientific circles, when you hear dopamine release, you think about reward or feeling good.

然而多巴胺与愉悦感无关，它实际上是促使我们趋向美好事物的神经化学物质。

However, dopamine is not associated with feeling good, it is actually the neurochemical that's responsible for movement toward things that feel good.

因此概括来说，我们大脑中存在一个检测区域，它会引导我们接近或远离特定类型的体验或感觉。

So to zoom out and conceptualize what we have here, we have a brain area that is a detector that either will move us toward or away from certain types of experiences or sensations.

我们有一个控制中心，会根据我们正在进行的互动类型，向大脑和血液释放特定激素和神经肽。

We have a control center that is going to release certain hormones and neuropeptides into our brain and blood, depending on the sorts of interactions that we happen to be having.

我们还有这个反应系统——包含多巴胺神经元的中缝背核。

And we have this response system, which is the dorsal raphe nucleus that contains dopamine neurons.

如果你习惯大量社交互动，突然被剥夺这种互动，你会感到失落，渴望替代性的社交互动，明白吗？

If you're somebody who is accustomed to a lot of social interaction and suddenly I take away that social interaction, you would feel kind of let down, you would crave a replacement social interaction, okay?

这被称为亲社会渴求。

This is called a pro social craving.

这确实是你在动物和人类身上观察到的现象。

And indeed this is what you see in animals and humans.

当你所谓'急性隔离'他们——这只是个花哨的科学术语，意指短期剥夺社交互动——他们就会开始表现出亲社会行为。

If you, what's called acutely isolate them, which is just a fancy scientific word of saying deprive them of social interactions in a short term basis, they start engaging in pro social behavior.

关键结论是：当我们缺乏预期的社交互动时，会变得更具亲社会性。

So the takeaway is that when we lack social interaction that we expect, we become pro social.

然而，若是长期处于社交隔离状态（即长时间不与人互动），我们反而会变得更加内向。

However, if we are chronically socially isolated, meaning we don't have interactions with people for a long time, we become actually more introverted.

现已明确证实：人类和动物若长期缺乏足够社交互动，实际上会变得反社会。

It's well established now that in humans and in animals, if you don't give them enough social interaction, they actually become antisocial.

社会稳态回路的运作机制是：当我们长期缺乏社交互动时，会逐渐丧失对社交互动的渴求。

The social homeostasis circuit works in a way such that when we don't have social interactions for a very long time, we start to lose our craving for social interactions.

让我们通过通常所说的内向与外向的视角，来审视社交稳态回路。

Let's look at the social homeostasis circuit through the lens of what's commonly called introversion and extroversion.

通常当我们听到内向者时，会想到聚会上沉默寡言的人或根本不愿出门的人。

Now, typically when we hear about introverts, we think about the quiet person at the party or the person that doesn't want to go out at all.

而我们认为外向者是真正热衷社交的人，即所谓的社交蝴蝶，他们享受社交互动，健谈且是聚会中的焦点人物。

And we think about an extrovert as somebody who's really social, the so called social butterfly, who enjoys social interactions, is really chatty, is kind of life of the party type person.

但实际上在心理学文献中，这种定义并不完全成立。

But actually in the psychology literature, that's not really the way it holds up.

如果我们从社交稳态设定点的角度看待内外向，并将多巴胺视为驱动寻求社交互动的动机分子，可以合理推测内向者在某些社交互动中释放的多巴胺量比外向者更多。

If we look at introversion and extroversion through this lens of the social homeostatic set point, and we think about dopamine as this molecule that drives motivation to seek out social interactions, what we can reasonably assume is that introverts are people that when they engage in certain forms of social interaction, either the amount of dopamine that's released is greater than it is in an extrovert.

没错，我说的是比外向者更多。

That's right, I said greater than it is in an extrovert.

因此他们实际上很容易被激发动力，但也很容易通过短暂或稀疏的社交互动获得满足。

And so they actually feel quite motivated, but also satisfied by very brief, or we could say sort of sparse social interactions.

他们不需要大量社交接触就能感到餍足。

They don't need a lot of social engagement to feel sated.

而我们可以合理推测，外向者在单个社交互动中释放的多巴胺较少。

Whereas the extrovert, we can reasonably assume releases less dopamine in response to an individual social interaction.

因此他们需要更多的社交互动才能从中获得满足感。

And so they need much more social interaction in order to feel filled up by that interaction.

这个社交稳态回路的第四个组成部分是我之前提到的前额叶皮层。

Now there's the fourth component of this social homeostasis circuit that I mentioned before, and that's the prefrontal cortex.

前额叶皮层负责思考、规划和行动，并与下丘脑等脑区有广泛连接——下丘脑负责许多动机驱动行为。

The prefrontal cortex is involved in thinking and planning and action, and has extensive connections with areas of the brain like the hypothalamus, which is responsible for a lot of motivated drives.

它还与大脑的多个奖励中心相连，可以起到类似加速器的作用，即能促进其他脑中心的电活动增强，也能抑制这些脑中心的活动。

It also has connections with the various reward centers of the brain, and it can act as kind of an accelerator, meaning it can encourage more electrical activity of other brain centers or as a break on those brain centers.

因此，尽管这些神经回路存在某些可预测的成分，但它们绝非简单的'即插即用'模式。

So while there are some predictable elements of these circuits, they are not simply what we would call plug and chug.

你拥有灵活性。

You have flexibility.

你可以说：'我喜欢派对，但真的不想参加那场派对，因为某某人在场。'

You are able to say, you know, I love parties, but I really don't want to go to that party because so and so is there.

现在我想更深入地探讨这个神奇的神经结构——中缝背核，以及这一小群神经元——中缝背核的多巴胺神经元，虽然数量不多，但功能非常强大。

So now I'd like to drill a little bit deeper into this incredible neural structure that is the dorsal raphe nucleus and this small collection of neurons, the dopamine neurons of the dorsal raphe, because while it's a small collection, they are very powerful.

正是这个中缝背核及其中的多巴胺神经元，构成了社会友谊和各种社交纽带的基础。

And it is this dorsal raphe nucleus and the dopamine neurons in that nucleus that underlie the bond that is social friendship and all types of social bonds.

文献中有一个关键发现。

There's a key finding in the literature.

这篇论文的标题是《中缝背核多巴胺神经元表征社交隔离的体验》。

The title of this paper is Dorsal Raphae Dopamine Neurons Represent the Experience of Social Isolation.

这是Keay Tye实验室发表的论文。

This is a paper from Keay Tye's lab.

他们的研究能够选择性地激活中缝背核中的多巴胺神经元。

What they did is they were able to selectively activate the dopamine neurons in the dorsal raphe nucleus.

当研究人员这样做时，就诱发出了类似孤独的状态。

And when they did that, they induced a loneliness like state.

那么，他们如何确定这是类似孤独的状态呢？

Now, how did they know it was a loneliness like state?

他们知道是因为这促使他们去寻求社交联系。

They knew because it motivated the seeking out of social connections.

这就是我之前提到的那种社交饥渴。

This is the kind of social hunger that I was referring to before.

而当背缝核的多巴胺神经元被抑制，即它们的活动被平息时，就会抑制孤独感。

Whereas when the dopamine neurons of the dorsal raphe are inhibited, meaning their activity is quieted, that suppressed a loneliness state.

所以这有点反直觉，对吧？

So that's a little counterintuitive, right?

这是一组神经元，当它们被激活时会让你感到孤独。

It's a group of neurons that when activated makes you feel lonely.

当这个脑区未被激活时，它会抑制孤独感。

And when this brain area is not activated, it suppresses loneliness.

但如果你仔细想想，这正是驱动社交行为所需的那种神经回路。

But if you think about it, that's exactly the kind of circuit that you would want in order to drive social behavior.

当你感到孤独时，多巴胺会被释放，促使你外出寻求社交互动。

When you're feeling lonely, dopamine is released and it causes you to go out and seek social interactions.

所以我们通常认为孤独如同心理景观中的一大片乌云或迷雾，实际上可以归结为少量神经元释放特定神经化学物质以激发动机。

So what we think of as loneliness as this big kind of dark cloud you know, fog in our psychological landscape boils down to a very small set of neurons releasing a specific neurochemical for motivation.

基于目前提供的信息，我总结几个关键点和可操作的建议。

So just a couple of key points and actionable takeaways based on the information I've offered up until now.

如果你认为自己是个内向者，很可能你从少量社交互动中就能获得大量多巴胺。

If you think of yourself as an introvert, it's very likely that you get a lot of dopamine from a few or minimal social interactions.

而如果你是外向者，与你的想法相反，社交互动不会让你的系统充满多巴胺。

Whereas if you're an extrovert, contrary to what you might think, social interactions are not going to flood your system with dopamine.

实际上，这些活动导致的多巴胺释放量会比内向者更少。

They actually are going to lead to less dopamine release than it would for an introvert.

因此，你需要更多的社交互动才能通过这些互动获得满足感。

And therefore you're going to need a lot more social interactions in order to feel filled up by those interactions.

现在我想稍微转换话题，重点讨论我们可以采取哪些措施来促进健康人际关系的形成。

Now I'd like to shift gears a bit and focus on what are some things that we can do to encourage the formation of healthy bonds.

《细胞报告》期刊发表过一项精彩研究——这是细胞出版社旗下的一份优秀期刊。

There's a beautiful study that was published in cell reports, cell press journal, excellent journal.

这篇论文的标题是《叙事刺激的意识处理能使个体间心率同步》。

The title of this paper is conscious processing of narrative stimuli synchronizes heart rate between individuals.

这项研究采用了一种非常简单的实验设计。

Now, this study involved a very simple type of experiment.

研究人员让受试者聆听一个故事。

They had people listen to a story.

所有参与者听的是同一个故事，但他们在不同时间、不同地点收听。

Everybody in the study listened to the same story, but they listened to that story at different times and indeed in different locations.

所以是不同的人，相同的故事。

So different people, same story.

他们测量了心率、呼吸频率等生理指标。

And they measured things like heart rate, they measured breathing, etcetera.

那么开展这项研究的动机是什么？

Now, what was the motivation for doing this?

早有文献表明，我们的生理指标——如心率、呼吸、皮肤电导（即出汗量）——能在个体间实现同步。

Well, there's a long standing literature showing that our physiology, things like our heart rate, our breathing, our skin conductance, meaning the amount of sweating, can be synchronized between individuals.

这种同步现象可能由多种不同因素引起。

And that synchronization can occur according to a variety of different things.

研究发现，当人们在不同时间听同一个故事时，他们的心率会开始同步。

What this study found was that when people listen to the same story, but at different times, their heart rates start to synchronize.

我们从大量文献中得知，社交关系的质量与感知深度，与个体间的生理同步程度密切相关。

Now, we also know from an extensive literature that the quality and perceived depth of a social bond correlates very strongly with how much physiological synchronization there is between individuals.

换句话说，当你们的身体感受相同时，往往会感觉与他人更亲密。

In other words, when your bodies feel the same, you tend to feel more bonded to somebody else.

因此这整个理论形成了一个循环论证。

And so this whole thing is a rather circular argument.

当你感觉与他人更亲近时，你们的生理状态会同步。

When you feel closer to somebody else, your physiology synchronize.

反之亦然。

And the reverse is true as well.

当你们的生理状态同步时，你会感觉与他人更亲近。

When your physiologies are synchronized, you feel closer to other people.

这确实表明身体和大脑是相互连接的。

This really points to the fact that the body and the brain are reciprocally connected.

确实，我们的思想、听觉和感受会影响生理状态，如心跳、呼吸等，但心跳和呼吸也会影响我们的心理状态。

Yes, indeed, what we think, what we hear, what we feel drives our physiology, our heartbeat, our respiration, etcetera, but our heartbeat and respiration also are influencing our state of mind.

在这种情况下，当我们的心率同步时，会促进特定类型的社交关系。

And in this case, it's encouraging certain types of social bonds when our heart rates are synchronized.

你该如何利用这一点呢？

How can you leverage this?

许多人以为，仅仅通过与他人互动就能建立情感纽带。

Well, many people when they interact with others expect that the mere interaction with the other person is going to create the sense of bonding.

但在许多社交互动中，让我们感到亲近的不是直接的交流，而是共同的经历。

But in many types of social interactions, it's not the direct interaction with that person that makes us feel close to them, but rather it's shared experience.

而共同经历本质上就是共享的生理状态。

And shared experience is shared physiology.

这实际上是我们从社交互动中获得'那真是段美妙时光'感受的核心原因。

This is actually at the seat of what we come away from a social interaction with as feeling, wow, that was a really wonderful time.

虽然美好时光可能源于具体的对话内容或活动，但绝大多数情况下，我们可以说，绝佳体验的最终共同路径就是绝佳的生理体验——共享的生理状态。

Often a really wonderful time can be by virtue of the specific things that were said or the specific things that one engaged in, but more often than not, the final common pathway we should say of great experiences was a great physiological experience and a shared physiological experience.

我们早就知道有很多方法可以改善睡眠。

We've known for a long time that there are things that we can do to improve our sleep.

其中包括服用苏糖酸镁、茶氨酸、洋甘菊提取物和甘氨酸等成分，以及藏红花和缬草根这些不太为人熟知的物质。

And that includes things that we can take things like magnesium threonate, theanine, chamomile extract, and glycine, along with lesser known things like saffron and valerian root.

这些都是经过临床验证的成分，能帮助你入睡、保持睡眠，并醒来时感觉更加神清气爽。

These are all clinically supported ingredients that can help you fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling more refreshed.

我很高兴地宣布，我们的长期赞助商AG1刚刚推出了一款名为AGZ的新产品，这是一种夜间饮品，旨在帮助你获得更好睡眠并醒来时感觉超级精神。

I'm excited to share that our longtime sponsor AG1 just created a new product called AGZ, a nightly drink designed to help you get better sleep and have you wake up feeling super refreshed.

过去几年里，我一直与AG1团队合作开发这款全新的AGZ配方。

Over the past few years, I've worked with the team at AG1 to help create this new AGZ formula.

它含有最佳比例的助眠成分，只需简单冲泡即可饮用。

It has the best sleep supporting compounds in exactly the right ratios in one easy to drink mix.

这省去了在众多助眠补充剂中筛选、确定合适剂量和搭配方案的所有麻烦。

This removes all the complexity of trying to forge the vast landscape of supplements focused on sleep and figuring out the right dosages and which ones to take for you.

据我所知，AGZ是市面上最全面的睡眠补充剂。

AGZ is to my knowledge, the most comprehensive sleep supplement on the market.

我通常在睡前30到60分钟服用。

I take it thirty to sixty minutes before sleep.

顺便说一句，它的味道很棒。

It's delicious by the way.

它显著提升了我的睡眠质量和深度。

And it dramatically increases both the quality and the depth of my sleep.

这既来自我主观的睡眠感受，也来自我的睡眠追踪数据。

I know that both from my subjective experience of my sleep and because I track my sleep.

我很期待大家尝试这款新AGZ配方，享受更好睡眠带来的益处。

I'm excited for everyone to try this new AGZ formulation and to enjoy the benefits of better sleep.

AGZ有巧克力、薄荷巧克力和混合莓果三种口味可选。

AGZ is available in chocolate, chocolate mint, and mixed berry flavors.

正如我之前提到的，这些口味都非常美味。

And as I mentioned before, they're all extremely delicious.

三种口味中我最喜欢薄荷巧克力，不过其实每种都很棒。

My favorite of the three has to be, I think chocolate mint, but I really like them all.

若想尝试AGZ，请访问drinkagz.com/huberman获取专属优惠。

If you'd like to try AGZ, go to drinkagz.com/huberman to get a special offer.

再次提醒，网址是drinkagz.com/huberman。

Again, that's drinkagz.com/huberman.

到目前为止，我们一直在从已建立的神经回路角度讨论社交联结。

Up until now, we've been talking about social bonding through the lens of neural circuits that are already established.

然而，这些负责成人依恋形式中社会联结的神经回路，无论是浪漫关系、友谊还是其他形式，实际上都是在发育过程中建立的。

However, these very neural circuits that are responsible for social bonding in adult forms of attachment, be it romantic or friendship or otherwise, are actually established during development.

早期依恋与成人依恋相关的一个重要且令人兴奋的领域，来自艾伦·肖尔（Alan Shore）的研究成果。

One of the more important and I think exciting areas of early attachment as it relates to adult attachment comes to us from the work of Alan Shore.

艾伦·肖尔（拼写为A L L A N, S C H O R E）是一位精神分析学家，同时深刻理解童年和成年期依恋的神经生物学机制。

Alan Shore spelled A L L A N, Shore, S C H O R E is a psychoanalyst who also has deep understanding of neurobiology of attachment, both in childhood and in adulthood.

他重点研究了右脑与左脑依恋形式之间的差异。

And he's focused a lot on differences between right brain and left brain forms of attachment.

在《胡伯曼实验室播客》早期一集中，我曾提到：大众心理学甚至某些神经生物学课程中关于右脑与左脑的讨论——即一侧更情绪化另一侧更理性的说法——是完全错误的。

Now, a early episode of the Huberman Lab Podcast, I touched into the fact that most of what's discussed in the general public in sort of pop psychology and even in some neurobiology courses about right brain versus left brain and one side of the brain being more emotional and the other side being more rational is completely wrong.

但艾伦·肖尔的研究指出，确实存在具有偏侧化倾向的具体神经回路，这些右脑或左脑主导的回路构成了特定形式的亲子依恋（尤其是母子关系）的基础。

However, the work of Alan Shore points to some very concrete neural circuits that do have a lateralization bias, meaning they are more right brain than left brain or more left brain than right brain that underlie certain forms of attachment between child and parent, in particular child and mother.

这些右脑特性和左脑特性会不断在我们成年后的依恋模式中重现。

And that these right brain isms, if you will, and left brain isms for attachment get played out again and again in our forms of attachment as adults.

因此在精神分析领域，关于所谓潜意识或无意识的讨论由来已久——即那些我们未能觉察的部分。

So within the field of psychoanalysis, there's a longstanding discussion of course, about the so called unconscious or subconscious, the things that we are not aware of.

我认为越来越多的证据表明，潜意识或无意识至少有一个主要组成部分就是所谓的自主神经系统。

And I think there's growing evidence pointing to the fact that at least one major component of the subconscious or the unconscious is the so called autonomic nervous system.

自主神经系统控制着我们的反射性呼吸、心率、皮肤电导（即出汗情况）以及瞳孔大小。

The autonomic nervous system is the portion of our nervous system that controls our reflexive breathing, our heart rate, our skin conductance, meaning our sweating, pupil size.

这个神经系统分支决定了我们处于警觉还是平静状态。

It's the aspect of our nervous system that makes us more alert or more calm.

它包含所谓的交感神经（负责警觉反应）和副交感神经（负责镇静反应）两个分支。

It's the so called sympathetic, meaning for alertness or parasympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system, parasympathetic for more calming responses.

那么，医生怎么说。

Now, what Doctor.

肖尔和其他学者的研究表明，早期婴儿与父母（尤其是母亲）的依恋关系涉及左右脑回路的协调同步，这些回路与——抱歉——自主神经系统相关联。

Shore's work and the work of others is now showing is that early infant parent, in particular infant mother attachment involves a coordination or synchronization of these right brain circuits and these left brain circuits as they relate, excuse me, to the autonomic nervous system.

这具体是如何体现的？

How does this play out?

具体表现为：婴儿早期阶段，当你刚出生时，你实际上是完全无助的。

Well, it plays out where early on as an infant, when you're born, you're truly helpless.

你无法自己进食。

You can't feed yourself.

你无法给自己保暖。

You can't warm yourself.

你无法自己更换衣物。

You can't change yourself.

当然你也无法移动行走，去获取你需要的东西。

And you certainly can't ambulate, walk anywhere to get the things that you need.

所有这些功能，更准确说是所有需求，都由你的主要照顾者来满足。

All of those functions, all of those needs rather are met by your primary caretaker.

通常这个照顾者就是母亲。

Typically that's the mother.

我知道存在例外情况，但这是普遍规律。

I realize there are exceptions, but that's the general rule.

现有脑成像研究显示，当母婴互动时，通过观察婴儿和母亲的大脑发现，两者之间的身体接触、呼吸频率、心率，甚至瞳孔大小都在进行实时协调同步。

There are now brain imaging studies examining the brains of infants and the brains of mothers as they interact and showing that the physical contact between the two, the breathing of the mother and child, the heart rate of the mother and child, and indeed the pupil size of the mother and child are actually actively getting coordinated.

换句话说，母亲主要调节婴儿的自主神经系统，而婴儿也在调节母亲的自主神经系统。

In other words, the mother is regulating the infant's autonomic nervous system primarily, and the infant is also regulating the mother's autonomic nervous system.

婴儿发出的轻微咕噜声或哭声（尤其是压力性啼哭）必然会调节母亲的自主神经系统。

A small coo from a baby or a cry, which is a stress cry from a baby will definitely regulate the autonomic nervous system of the mother.

随着年龄增长，亲子互动中开始出现另一个系统的作用。

Now, as we get older, there's another system that starts to come into play in parent child interactions.

这个系统同样在兄弟姐妹互动等关系中发挥作用。

And this also comes into play in sibling interactions and so forth.

这就是艾伦·肖特所描述的左脑系统。

And that's the left brain system as described by Alan Short.

再次强调，这并不是情感与理性的对立。

Now, again, this isn't about emotion versus rationality.

这关乎自主神经系统与更意识层面的联结形式。

This is about autonomic versus more conscious forms of bonding.

在左脑方面，更多处理的是非常具体、符合逻辑的叙事性内容，明白吗？

So on the left brain side of things, there is a processing more of narratives that are very concrete, logical narratives, okay?

我需要再次宏观说明并强调：并非大脑一侧负责情感而另一侧负责理性，而是左脑回路在涉及预测与奖赏的联结类型中具有相对主导性。

And again, I have to zoom out and just really tamp down the idea that it's not that one side of the brain is emotional and the other side is rational, but rather there's a bit of a dominance for the left brain circuitry to be involved in the kinds of bonding that are associated with prediction and reward.

核心观点是：存在两条并行的神经回路对建立联结至关重要，这种机制在童年早期就已形成，它既非纯粹情感也非纯粹理性，而是两者的结合。

The idea is that there are two parallel circuits that are important for establishing bonds and that this is set up very early on in childhood and that it's neither emotional nor rational, but both.

神经生物学影像研究越来越清楚地表明：当人们进入青春期、成年期直至老年阶段，童年时期活跃建立的相同神经回路会被重新用于其他形式的依恋关系。

What's becoming clear from the neurobiological imaging studies is that as people start to advance into adolescence and adulthood and well into their elderly years, the same circuits that were active and established in childhood are repurposed for other forms of attachment.

要与他人（特别是伴侣）建立真正完整的联结，不仅需要生理状态的同步化，还需要这些更理性或可称为预测性神经回路的同步协调。

And that to have truly complete bonds with other individuals, but in particular with romantic partners, it's important that there be both synchronization of physiology and synchronization of these more, I guess we could call them more rational or predictive type circuits.

这样我们就能利用这些信息。

So we can leverage this information.

目前在临床心理学和神经生物学文献中，人们已经理解到共情既包括情感共情——即真正感受到他人的感受，也包括现在所称的认知共情。

In the clinical psychology and in the neurobiological literature now, it's understood that there is both emotional empathy, like actually feeling what somebody is feeling and what is now called cognitive empathy.

认知共情是指我们在心理层面上以相同方式观察和体验事物的理念。

Cognitive empathy is this idea that we both see and experience something the same way at a mental level.

情感共情则是指我能在生理或自主神经层面感受到你所感受的理念。

Emotional empathy is this idea that, yes, I can feel what you feel at a visceral somatic or autonomic level.

非常明确的是，儿童与照料者之间牢固的社会纽带既包含情感共情这种自主功能，也包含认知共情——即双方相互理解对方的感受和想法，从而能够预测对方的行为。

And it's absolutely clear that strong social bonds between children and caretaker involve both emotional empathy, this autonomic function and cognitive empathy, that there's a mutual understanding of how the other person feels and how the other person thinks in order to be able to make predictions about what they're going to do.

根据最新文献也清楚表明，虽然对友谊的研究相对较少，但浪漫关系及某种程度上友谊的建立，都需要情感共情和认知共情共同作用，才能形成我们所说的信任型社会纽带。

Now, it's also very clear based on the emerging literature that romantic relationships and to some extent friendships, although friendships have been explored a bit less in the literature, that emotional empathy and cognitive empathy are both required in order to establish what we call a trusting social bond.

因此对于那些希望建立更深层次或任何形式纽带的人而言，重要的是要考虑身体状态的同步——我们之前讨论过这点——以及认知状态的同步。

So for those of you that are seeking to establish deeper bonds or bonds of any kind, important that you think about synchronization of bodily states, we talked about that earlier, and synchronization of cognitive states.

这并不意味着你们必须在所有事情上达成一致。

Now that doesn't mean you have to agree on everything.

事实上，那些在认知和情感上非常亲密的人，常常会争论各种问题并在许多事情上持不同意见。

In fact, oftentimes people who feel very close to one another cognitively and emotionally argue about all sorts of things and disagree about a lot of things.

但关键不在于观点或立场的完全一致，而在于我们理解对方的感受，并相信对方也理解我们的感受；我们理解对方的思维方式，而对方也认为我们理解他们的思考方式。

But the point isn't that there'd be total convergence of opinion or stance, but rather that we understand how the other feels and we believe that they understand how we feel, that we understand how the other person thinks and that they think that we understand how they think.

因此这是两个人之间涉及认知与情感的互惠循环。

So it's a reciprocal loop between two people that involves this cognition and involves emotion.

这一理论正如博士所阐述的那样具有实证基础。

And it's grounded as Doctor.

肖尔指出了我们最早的依恋形式。

Shore has pointed out in our earliest forms of attachment.

这完全说得通，因为负责社会稳态的神经回路——那些负责婴儿与母亲依恋的左右脑回路，以及后来负责儿童与照顾者之间更智力化或预测性依恋的回路——正是我们一生中会叠加到所有其他关系类型上的相同回路。

And that makes perfect sense because the same sorts of circuits that are responsible for social homeostasis, the kind of right brain and left brain circuits that are responsible for infant mother attachment, and then later for more intellectual or predictive type attachments between child and caregiver are the exact same circuits that we superimpose into all other types of relationships throughout the rest of our life.

我想提一下，对于那些可能觉得自己婴儿时期与照顾者的互动或依恋形式不尽如人意的人，你并不孤单。

And I should just mention that for those of you that might be thinking that you had a less than satisfactory infant caretaker interaction or form of attachment, you are not alone.

事实上，肖尔博士的很多工作都集中在...

And in fact, much of the work that Doctor.

肖尔的研究重点是如何理解这些早期经历，并通过重塑来发展健康的成人依恋关系。

Shore focuses on is about how those early circumstances can be understood and rewired toward the development of healthy adult attachment.

我想稍作休息，感谢我们的赞助商之一大卫。

I'd like to take a quick break and acknowledge one of our sponsors, David.

大卫制作的蛋白棒与众不同。

David makes a protein bar unlike any other.

每份含28克蛋白质，仅150卡路里且零糖分。

It has 28 grams of protein, only 150 calories and zero grams of sugar.

没错，28克蛋白质中75%的热量来自蛋白质本身。

That's right, 28 grams of protein and 75 of its calories come from protein.

这比市面上其他蛋白棒高出50%。

That's 50% higher than the next closest protein bar.

大卫的这些蛋白棒口感也令人惊艳。

These bars from David also taste amazing.

目前我最喜欢新出的肉桂卷口味，但我也爱吃巧克力曲奇面团味，还有咸味花生酱口味也很棒。

Right now, my favorite flavor is the new cinnamon roll flavor, but I also like the chocolate chip cookie dough flavor, and I also like the salted peanut butter flavor.

基本上，我喜欢所有口味，它们都很美味。

Basically, I like all the flavors, they're all delicious.

还有个好消息，大卫蛋白棒现在重新有货了。

Also big news, David Bars are now back in stock.

它们因为太受欢迎而断货了好几个月，但现在重新上架了。

They were sold out for several months because they are that popular, but they are now back in stock.

吃一根大卫蛋白棒，我就能在一份零食的热量中获取28克蛋白质，这让我很容易实现每天每磅体重摄入1克蛋白质的目标，而且不会摄入过多热量。

By eating a David Bar, I'm able to get 28 grams of protein in the calories of a snack, which makes it very easy for me to meet my protein goals of one gram of protein per pound of body weight per day, and to do so without eating excess calories.

我通常会在下午吃一根大卫蛋白棒，出门或旅行时也总会随身携带，因为它们能非常方便地补充足够蛋白质。

I generally eat a David bar most afternoons, and I always keep them with me when I'm away from home or traveling because they're incredibly convenient to get enough protein.

就像我说的，它们美味得难以置信。

As I mentioned, they're incredibly delicious.

考虑到28克蛋白质的含量，仅150卡路里就能带来很强的饱腹感。

And given that 28 grams of protein, they're pretty filling for just 150 calories.

所以它们也很适合作为餐间零食。

So they're great between meals as well.

如果你想尝试大卫蛋白棒，可以访问davidprotein.com/huberman。

If you'd like to try David, you can go to davidprotein.com/huberman.

再次提醒，网址是davidprotein.com/huberman。

Again, that's davidprotein.com/huberman.

理解生物过程的一个关键点是它们往往在短期和长期时间尺度上同时运作。

One of the key themes to understand about biological processes is that they often work on short timescales and longer timescales.

到目前为止，我们主要讨论的都是短期时间尺度上发生的过程。

And up until now, we've mainly been talking about the stuff that happens on short timescales.

例如，某种心率同步或特定神经元激活会释放多巴胺，促使我们寻求更多或更少的社交互动。

So the kind of synchronization of heart rate or activation of a given set of neurons that dump some dopamine and causes us to seek out more social interaction or less, for instance.

但每个生物回路和功能也都需要产生长期影响。

But every biological circuit and function needs to have longstanding effects as well.

通常当你考虑大脑和身体的长期影响时，就会开始关注激素系统。

And typically when you're thinking about longstanding effects in the brain and body, you start looking towards the hormone system.

如果说有一种与社交联结相关的激素或类激素分子，那一定是催产素。

So if ever there was a hormone or hormone like molecule that's associated with social bonding, it's oxytocin.

催产素参与社交识别过程。

Oxytocin is involved in social recognition.

没错。

That's right.

当你看到你认为属于自己群体的人——你的团队、你的圈子、你的朋友时，催产素就会释放。

When you see people that you consider your people, your team, your group, your friends, oxytocin is released.

即使你们没有身体接触。

Even if you don't come into physical contact with them.

催产素还与伴侣联结有关，人们常用'他们是你的那个人，你是他们的那个人'来形容这种感觉。

Oxytocin is also associated with pair bonding, the feeling that they are your person and that you are their person is the common language people use.

它还与诚实相关。

It's also associated with honesty.

信不信由你，有实验表明如果人们通过吸入喷雾获得催产素，他们会更诚实坦率地交代某些事情。

Believe it or not, there are experiments that show that if people receive oxytocin through an inhalation spray, that they will be more honest and forthcoming about certain things.

能高水平释放催产素的主要互动类型，首先是发生在彼此认为关系非常亲密的个体之间的互动，对吧？

The main types of interactions that release oxytocin at high levels are first of all, that the interaction be between individuals that see each other as very closely associated, right?

他们常常紧密接触，常常源自对方的身体。

Oftentimes they are in close contact, oftentimes they are from the very body of the other.

因此，催产素释放的量或幅度往往与个体间的亲密程度成正比。

And so the amount or the amplitude of oxytocin release tends to scale with how closely associated individuals are.

仅仅是看到或闻到自己的宝宝就能引发催产素释放，母亲方面亦是如此。

Just the sight of one's baby or smell of one's baby can evoke oxytocin release and vice versa from the mother.

身体接触在浪漫伴侣间更是如此，甚至看到伴侣的照片也能引发催产素释放、性欲以及信任感。

Physical contact even more so in romantic partners, physical contact, even the sight of a picture of a partner can evoke oxytocin release and sexual desire, also trust.

需要重点指出的是，这种连接感属于我之前提到的自主神经类型，正如艾伦·肖尔的研究所示。

And it's important to point out that that feeling of connection is of the autonomic type that I was referring to earlier, a la Alan Shor's work.

这不是那种'哦，我们想法完全一致，现在什么都同意'的感觉，而更多是他们的生理状态同步了。

That it's not of the, oh, we think about things the exact same way, we agree on everything now, it's more of that their physiologies are synchronized.

但这里的关键在于，个体之间确实存在一种荷尔蒙粘合剂，明白吗？

But the point here is that there's actually a hormonal glue between individuals, okay?

婴儿与母亲、朋友、队友、恋人等等皆是如此。

Infant and mother, friends, teammates, romantic partners, and so on.

而这种荷尔蒙粘合剂就是催产素。

And that hormonal glue is oxytocin.

我们已经详细探讨了社会联结的生物学基础，包括神经回路、神经化学和神经内分泌机制。

So we've covered a lot about the biology and indeed the neurocircuitry and neurochemistry and neuroendocrinology of social bonding.

我要确保强调构成你们所有社会联结的关键要素。

I want to make sure that I highlight the key features that go into any and all of your social bonds.

首先，所有社会联结都有可能同时包含我们所说的情感共情和认知共情。

First of all, all social bonds have the potential to include both what we called emotional empathy and cognitive empathy.

因此，如果你有兴趣建立并深化任何类型的社会关系，重要的是你要投入一些努力在我们称之为情感共情的方面，这实际上是关于分享自主体验的。

And so if you are interested in establishing and deepening social bonds of any kind, it's important that you put some effort toward this thing that we call emotional empathy, which is really about sharing autonomic experience.

情感共情与自主功能的同步——如心率、呼吸等——最佳实现方式是通过关注特定外部事件，尤其是叙事、故事、音乐，或许还有体育等，作为驱动这些内在状态同步的外部刺激。

Emotional empathy and the synchronization of autonomic function, heart rate, breathing, etcetera, can be best accomplished by paying attention to external events in particular narrative, story, music, perhaps sports, or other types of experience as an external stimulus to drive synchrony of those internal states.

形成深层关系的另一个方面是认知共情。

The other aspect of forming deep bonds is cognitive empathy.

重申一下，认知共情不是指对事物达成一致或以完全相同的方式看待事物。

Again, cognitive empathy is not about agreeing on things or viewing things the exact same way.

它真正关乎理解他人对某事的思考方式，真正关注这一点，然后关注你自己对某事的思考和感受。

It's about really gaining understanding of how somebody else thinks about something, really paying attention to that and then paying attention to how you think about and feel about something.

我们还讨论了内向与外向的问题，我想尝试消除关于内向和外向的常见误解，因为当我们观察神经回路时，正如你所记得的，内向者并非不喜欢社交互动的人。

Now, we also talked about introversion and extroversion, and I'd like to try and dismantle the common misperceptions about introversion, extroversion, because when we look at the neural circuitry, as you recall, introverts are not people that don't like social interaction.

只是内向者比外向者需要更少的社交互动就会感到满足。

It's just that they feel filled up or sated by less social interaction than would be an extrovert.

这是因为，至少根据社交稳态回路模型，他们实际上能从更少的社交互动中获得更多多巴胺。

And that's because at least according to the social homeostasis circuit model, they actually get more dopamine from less social interaction.

而外向者在同等社交互动量下获得的多巴胺释放较少。

Whereas extroverts get less dopamine release from an equivalent amount of social interaction.

所以对于那些自认为是内向或外向者，或认识内向和外向者的人来说，关键不在于人们有多健谈，也不在于他们本身寻求多少社交互动，而在于多少社交互动对特定个体来说就足够了。

So for those of you that feel as if you're an introvert or extrovert, or that know introverts and extroverts, it's not about how verbal people are, it's not about how much they seek out social interactions per se, it's about how much social interaction is enough for the given person.

现在，提供这个框架、这种生物回路机制等整套理论的目的，不是简单地用还原论来解释你已经意识到和知道的事情，而是给你一些支点来理解：你是如何形成社会关系的？

Now, the whole reason for providing this framework, this biological circuitry, etcetera, is not to simply put a reductionist view on things that you already realized and knew, but rather to give you some leverage points to understand how is it that you form social bonds?

你可能会在形成某些类型的社会关系时遇到什么挑战？

How is it that you might be challenged in forming certain types of social bonds?

并思考建立和强化不同类型社会纽带的切入点。

And to think about entry points to both establishing and reinforcing social bonds of different kinds.

希望这也能让你理解为何无论是友情还是爱情关系的破裂都会如此痛苦。

Hopefully it will also give you insight into why breakups, whether it be between friendships or romantic partners can be so painful.

任何形式的分离都意味着情感共鸣和认知共鸣的双重断裂。

A breakup of any kind involves both a breaking of that emotional empathy and that cognitive empathy.

事实上这确实有神经生物学和荷尔蒙的基础支撑，对吧？

And indeed it has a neurobiological and hormonal underpinning, right?

如果我们主要的催产素或多巴胺来源之一突然消失，对神经系统将是毁灭性的打击。

If one of our major sources of oxytocin or one of our major sources of dopamine suddenly is not around, that is incredibly devastating to a nervous system.

借用伟大的心理学家兼神经生物学家丽莎·费尔德曼·巴雷特的话说：我们不仅是独立的个体，更是相互影响的神经系统网络——他们的神经系统影响着我们，我们的也影响着他们。

And to borrow from the great psychologist and neurobiologist, Lisa Feldman Barrett, who says, you know, we are not just individuals, we are nervous systems influencing other nervous systems and their nervous systems are influencing us.

我认为这是正确的思考方式。

I think that's the right way to think about it.

因此，各种类型的分手都非常具有挑战性，这并不令人意外——无论分手的原因是什么，无论是某人搬迁，还是一方或双方决定结束关系等等。

So it should come as no surprise that breakups of various kinds are very challenging, regardless of what underlied that breakup, whether or not somebody moving or an actual decision of one person to leave the relationship or both, etcetera.

社会联系对我们这个物种至关重要，无论这些联系是通过社交媒体远距离维持，还是近距离的实际身体接触。

Social bonds are vitally important to us as a species, whether or not they are at a distance over social media, whether or not they are in close proximity, actual physical contact.

今天，我真正想要阐明的是：我们称之为社会联系的现象背后，存在着一套共通的生物学、神经化学和激素基础。

Today, what I've really tried to illustrate is that there are a common set of biological, neurochemical, and hormonal underpinnings to what we call social bonding.

因此，虽然这个过程很复杂且主观，涉及等级结构、我们早年的成长经历、个人目标等因素，但它并非无限复杂。

And so while it is complex and it is subjective, it involves the hierarchies, it involves our previous upbringing, it involves our goals, etcetera, it is not infinitely complex.

从这个意义上说，它是可处理的。

And in that sense, it is tractable.

希望我为你提供了一些杠杆或切入点，让你既能理解又能朝着更令人满意、更愉悦的社会关系迈进。

Hopefully I've offered you some levers or some entry points under which you can both understand and move towards social bonds that would be more satisfying and more gratifying for you.

这无疑是目标之一。

That's certainly one of the goals.

另一个目标是，如果你是一名临床医生，或者只是人们遇到各种挑战和社会关系问题时求助的朋友或家人，希望你能开始传递一些信息，帮助人们理解他们在分手、恋爱、建立依恋以及面对依恋挑战时的经历。

The other one is that hopefully if you're a clinician or simply the friend that people go to or the family member that people go to when they are challenged through various challenges and social bonds, that you can start to perhaps pass along some of the information as a way of people understanding what they're going through as they are breaking up, but also as they are falling in love, as they are forming attachments and as they are being challenged with attachments.

这是我的期望。

That's my hope.

尤其是当你进入假期和年底时，我希望你能将这些知识以你认为有意义且适合的方式加以运用。

And especially as you head into the holidays and end of year, I would hope that you would take this knowledge and apply it in any of the ways that you feel are meaningful and adaptive for you.